- Location
- Venezuela
Wait, if we rob a bank...what would Agent Bob think of us? I don't want him to use his "I'm not angry, just disappointed" shade glasses against us
-
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DoofQuest- a Disney Villains Victorious CK2-Style Quest
- Thread starter Made in Heaven
- Start date
- Crossover
- Location
- Somewhere nearby.
"In my defense, you didn't exist at the time."
- Location
- United States
All of this talk of Shere Khan (seemingly) selling fusion power to a rogue state makes me think... We're a rogue state. We should buy a power plant from him.
Also, when we do, we should totally make sure to bring up how glad we are he's selling to rogue states, since we're a rogue state, but it's so good he doesn't care what Washington thinks.
Also, when we do, we should totally make sure to bring up how glad we are he's selling to rogue states, since we're a rogue state, but it's so good he doesn't care what Washington thinks.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
I wonder if this is at all relevant, or foreshadowing for something? Who are these newer residents? We dealing in infiltrators in our fair music-loving Doofania?
- Location
- Washington
What if we stole that cookie recipe that Shego and Señor Senior, Junior tried to steal in season 2 of Kim Possible?
- Location
- Two hours away
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Write in ideas:
Martial:
Martial:
[] Declare War on the Declarer of War on Peace and Happiness
DC ???
Lizzy isn't the most well versed in happiness, but she is familiar with excavation. Let her hunt down the man who dares to mess with her shtick.
(Possible rewards: DC for Excavation Tech PA/NA reduced, Lizzy appears reformed, Nemesis?)
Diplomacy: [] Tourism Campaign
DC ???
Opinions of you are mixed but the Tri-State area is a great place to visit.
(Possible Rewards: temporary income boost based off of Doofania attractions, ease of transportation, and perceived safety of being anywhere near Heinz.)
Stewardship:[] Set up College Credit internships:
DC ???
I don't have good flavor text for this one.
(Agree to do a certain type of Learning, Stewardship, or Diplomacy option 3 turns in advance for a minor boost to the roll. Chance of students graduating and joining a hero units perfected squad of faceless mooks if relationships are good.)
- Pronouns
- He/Him
To be clear, the first one is to chase down the Underminer? I wouldn't mind trying to reach out to the guy more diplomatically, honestly. My Underminer/Artermis Fowl omake might have just been a joke but his drill machine tech could still come in handy if we find ourselves poking into the affairs of underground fairies... as the last vote suggested the thread was very eager to do.
- Location
- Two hours away
- Pronouns
- He/Him
The first one is about the Underminder. And I'm of a different opinion on hiring him.
Excavation Tech implemtation is something Lizzy and Roddy Blair skill sets cover and the Underminer actively desires the suffering of everyone. We're in charge of a small but significant percentage of everyone.
On the Cipher Show Tonight
- Pronouns
- He/Him
On the Cipher Show Tonight
A strange running battle raged across New York, bolts of magic and foul curses lancing out to strike the crippled flying mech as it attempted to escape. As another curse impacted, causing thick conjured ooze to spread through its components, it was sent crashing towards the old theatre below…
A loud crash awoke Beauregard from his nap in the Muppet Theatre supply closet. He sprung up in excitement. Kermit and the rest must be back! He hadn't seen them around in eleven years, so they must have used up most of their vacation days by now.
Jogging down a hallway mop in hand, he was greeted by a most surprising sight. A large hole had been left in the side of the theatre! And he'd have to be the one to clean it up, too! He was just about to walk over and give the huge misshapen steel statue lying among the wreckage a piece of his mind when a large crowd of red-robed figures began filing in through the damaged wall. Beauregard was rather dim and not used to fear, but something primal inside him told him to keep his mouth shut as the group wrenched the battered head off the robot and dragged out the struggling pilot within.
"Our hunt is ended! This night will bring about the Dream Demon's rise!" called out the figure at the head of the crowd, who Beauregard was at least 60% sure wasn't Kermit. Chanting and waving ceremonial daggers, the cult marched down the stairs to the theatre, their prisoner in tow.
What a bother, thought Beauregard once they were gone. He didn't know who the folks in the robes were, but if they were here for a show they might be waiting a while. In the meantime, he'd do what he did and keep things clean and maintained - starting with the big headless robot. If it got airmailed through the wall, it must be for Kermit, and an urgent delivery, too!
It was all covered in slime, though, and the water had been cut off to the building years ago. If he was going to get it clean… well, Dr. Honeydew's lab still had all kinds of stuff lying around in it! Chemicals and solvents and everything, and probably cleaning products! With a huff, Beauregard hauled the mech up onto a dolly and pulled it over to the long-abandoned Muppet Labs.
...
Below, in the theatre proper, the dark ceremony had begun and rows of cultists began to parade onto the stage. A vortex of energy swirled up from an odd altar, and music began to echo through the building with no clear source. With everything in place… the cultists began to sing.
"It's time for eerie chanting!
Dark deeds by candlelight!
It's time to free Bill Cipher from imprisonment tonight!"
dun-dun-dun-dun
"It's time for sacrifices!
His rise they'll expedite!
And then the curtain lowers on reality tonight!"
The trapped spirits of two Gravity Falls dwellers clawed themselves momentarily from the vortex, trying to warn the unhearing cultists from their folly.
"Why do they wish to join us?
More merciful, to die.
Ten thousand years of torture
Fill a blink of Cipher's eye!"
A thin yellow arm reached through the vortex and dragged them back in, as the ceremony continued…
...
The first step was cleaning out the slime, Beauregard knew. Kermit wouldn't be happy to see his nice things so grimy! With a great heave, he upended barrels full of water from the lab's storage over the mech, then laid in with his mop until the whole thing sparkled. He should probably oil it too, to be sure, of course. He began dutifully spraying the mech's surface with the contents of a nearby tube, only for his rag to stick fast to its surface!
"My, old Honeydew's polishing oil is awful sticky. I guess it was in the tube too long." Beauregard mused, not noticing the now-empty Super Adhesive tube cemented to his shoe. Determined to finish the polishing job, he rummaged through a nearby metal cabinet, finding an assortment of hats, ties and other clothing items to use for rags - each of which quickly found itself stuck to the metal behemoth as well.
Bother! There was just no cleaning this one. Deciding to simply toss it out and get Kermit a new one later, Beauregard sealed the cabinet back up and dragged the mech over to the Automatic Wastebasket with a grunt of exertion. He hauled the mech up to the wastebasket's cast-iron maw - it would be a tight fit, but…
To Beauregard's surprise, the moment the two devices came into contact, life returned to the robot's limbs! Held fast to the damaged robot's neck by Super Adhesive, the Automatic Wastebasket's esoteric circuitry began to merge with the robot's own, with its primitive AI - and single-minded hunger - taking the place of the mech's destroyed brain. Reaching out an armored limb, it grabbed Beauregard's mop and stuffed it down its ravenous mouth.
"More! Want more!" the Wastebasket-mech shouted, pulling itself to its feet and lumbering off towards the sounds of chanting, with various inventions of Honeydew's sticking to it as it staggered clumsily about. A steady trickle of water dripped from the mech as it crashed through the wall of Muppet Labs, leaving a trail Beauregard was quick to follow.
…
"To sacrifice our guest star
That's what I'm here to do
Lord Cipher will be happy
When I plunge the knife into - ladies and gentlemen, Fiddleford McGuckeeeeet!"
The cult leader flapped his arms around as the cultists cheered. "Donkey spittle!" cursed the prisoner, as he was wheeled toward the altar. The cult master drew a long, ornate dagger, with a gold handle and intricate filigree in preparation for the killing.
"It's time to get things started!"
"Why don't we get things started?" the whole cult replied in unison.
"It's time to get things started, on the -"
Before the knife could fall, Statler and Waldorf's old balcony exploded into a shower of splinters and the mech - dipping water and flapping with clothing items -crashed down into the seats, landing on one cultist and then cramming a second into its wastebasket mouth with a crunch. Beauregard appeared up in the balcony a moment later, failed to notice its recent destruction in time, and fell tumbling into the seats behind the mech.
"Not before dinnertime, son! Your raccoon ma's going to be proper cross!" cried out McGucket as the mech chewed and the cultists leapt to attention. "Destroy them!" the cult master bellowed.
Four cultists, daggers in hand, charged Beauregard, only to find themselves slipping about uncontrollably! The momentum of the first carried him into the wall behind, and he stumbled back, his dagger lodged in his stomach. "Is this floor covered in axle grease?" asked a second in disbelief, trying and failing to pick herself up off the ground.
"Kermit said to use elbow grease, but we ran out years ago!" Beauregard replied earnestly. A moment later a bolt of magic flew past him, and he turned about, running back up the stairs with more cultists following. Closer to the stage, the mech was laying waste to disoriented cultists. A number of them charged, leaping up to surround and disable the mech, only to find themselves stuck fast by Super Adhesive. Their comrades fired blasts and curses, but the stuck cultists provided the mech a macabre layer of armor against the onslaught of magic.
…
His pursuers close behind, Beauregard leapt back through the doors of Muppet Labs, searching desperately for something to defend himself with. As the first cultist charged in after him, he was hit clean in the face with… one of Lew Zealand's boomerang fish. Grinning in disbelief as the harmless herring flew back towards Beauregard (who clumsily failed to catch it), he unleashed a deadly curse which Beauregard narrowly managed to avoid by ducking behind a table. A low grinding noise could be heard as the fish landed in the Banana Sharpener on the shelf behind him.
"You're trying to stop me with fish? The old man might have been insane, but at least he had genius to back up his madness! A nothing like you wants to oppose us? Ha!"
The cultist kicked the table over, readying a spell to kill Beauregard as four more of his comrades filed into the lab behind him.
Ding, went the Banana Sharpener as its cycle finished, depositing a razor-sharp fish into Beauregard's hand. Covering his eyes with one hand in fright he threw it again, more or less at random, and it whistled through the room in a lazy arc before embedding itself in the wall.
Five heads rolled to the ground a moment later.
…
Back in the theatre, the cultists - despite their dwindling numbers - had managed to mostly turn the tide. A tight circle of the red-robed warlocks surrounded McGucket's mech, restraining it with eldritch bindings. "You're a troublesome, troublesome man, Fiddleford." the leader hissed through clenched teeth, as he prepared to finally finish the ceremony.
Behind him, the first cultist to chase Beauregard managed to scrabble his way out of the axle grease slick, falling into one of the puddles of water the sopping-wet mech had left. Pulling the dagger out gingerly, he ignited one of his hands with hellfire to cauterize the wound…
...causing the flammable water Beauregard had cleaned the mech with to ignite, eliciting a shocked scream from the cultist! Flames rushed up the water trail to where the mech was trapped. With a thunderous blast, the numerous items of exploding clothing stuck to the mech detonated, incapacitating the circle of warlocks and hurling them against the walls along with Honeydew's contraptions and bits of its own machinery. The cult master was thrown back as well, losing his grasp on the ceremonial dagger.
"More… want more…" The wastebasket mumbled, as the mech's processes shuddered to a halt.
Still dizzy, the cult master stood up, surveying the disaster around him. Of the horde he'd brought with him, he couldn't see a single soul. But it could all still be salvaged, if he could just find the dagger… there it was! Underneath an odd bowl-shaped alchemy device the mech had dislodged he could just make out the glint of the ceremonial blade.
"I'm comin' down there! Don't you kids make any more mess!" came the distant shout. The cult master winced - the odd furry creature must have defeated his minions. But the dolt wouldn't arrive in time to stop him! Bill Cipher would rise! With a cackle and a flourish, he scooped the dagger up off the ground…
Only for it to fall apart in his hands. The handle! Every bit of gold had been turned into… cottage cheese!
"Now don't you start filling your gob now too, Earl! My lady works her fur off cooking, and I won't have the whole gang stuffing themselves before dinner!" shouted McGucket in consternation. As the cult master stood, dazed and confused, his hands stained with dairy, McGucket sat up effortlessly. The ropes (burned by the explosion) falling slack around him, McGucket delivered a nasty kick to the man's stomach, causing him to stumble back towards the crippled mech. The wastebasket mouth closed around his leg like a bear trap.
"I warned you folks! Better clear out!" came Beauregard's warning shout from above. He rushed back up to the wrecked balcony, carrying an armful of sharpened carrots. "Honeydew might have been short on bananas, but I've sharpened enough carrots to - woah! Woaaaaohoah!"
As the cult master watched in horror, the magnetic carrots began to quiver in Beauregard's grasp, then pull free to fly unerringly towards the steel mech… and himself, trapped in its mouth. He began summoning one last spell before the shower of deadly orange darts silenced him.
"Well, at least the boy's eatin' himself a balanced meal, this time." McGucket said as the mass of cultist, carrot and cottage cheese disappeared into the mech's mouth.
The Muppet Theatre was silent for a few long moments.
"This is going to take a long time to clean up." Beauregard finally complained.
"Well then… it's time we both got started!" McGucket replied in a familiar singsong tone.
"Why don't we get things started?" echoed Beauregard, perking back up.
"It's time to get things started, on the most contrarian, memory-burying, cultist-harrying, raccoon-marrying,
This is what we call McGucket Shooooooooow!"
--fin--
A strange running battle raged across New York, bolts of magic and foul curses lancing out to strike the crippled flying mech as it attempted to escape. As another curse impacted, causing thick conjured ooze to spread through its components, it was sent crashing towards the old theatre below…
A loud crash awoke Beauregard from his nap in the Muppet Theatre supply closet. He sprung up in excitement. Kermit and the rest must be back! He hadn't seen them around in eleven years, so they must have used up most of their vacation days by now.
Jogging down a hallway mop in hand, he was greeted by a most surprising sight. A large hole had been left in the side of the theatre! And he'd have to be the one to clean it up, too! He was just about to walk over and give the huge misshapen steel statue lying among the wreckage a piece of his mind when a large crowd of red-robed figures began filing in through the damaged wall. Beauregard was rather dim and not used to fear, but something primal inside him told him to keep his mouth shut as the group wrenched the battered head off the robot and dragged out the struggling pilot within.
"Our hunt is ended! This night will bring about the Dream Demon's rise!" called out the figure at the head of the crowd, who Beauregard was at least 60% sure wasn't Kermit. Chanting and waving ceremonial daggers, the cult marched down the stairs to the theatre, their prisoner in tow.
What a bother, thought Beauregard once they were gone. He didn't know who the folks in the robes were, but if they were here for a show they might be waiting a while. In the meantime, he'd do what he did and keep things clean and maintained - starting with the big headless robot. If it got airmailed through the wall, it must be for Kermit, and an urgent delivery, too!
It was all covered in slime, though, and the water had been cut off to the building years ago. If he was going to get it clean… well, Dr. Honeydew's lab still had all kinds of stuff lying around in it! Chemicals and solvents and everything, and probably cleaning products! With a huff, Beauregard hauled the mech up onto a dolly and pulled it over to the long-abandoned Muppet Labs.
...
Below, in the theatre proper, the dark ceremony had begun and rows of cultists began to parade onto the stage. A vortex of energy swirled up from an odd altar, and music began to echo through the building with no clear source. With everything in place… the cultists began to sing.
"It's time for eerie chanting!
Dark deeds by candlelight!
It's time to free Bill Cipher from imprisonment tonight!"
dun-dun-dun-dun
"It's time for sacrifices!
His rise they'll expedite!
And then the curtain lowers on reality tonight!"
The trapped spirits of two Gravity Falls dwellers clawed themselves momentarily from the vortex, trying to warn the unhearing cultists from their folly.
"Why do they wish to join us?
More merciful, to die.
Ten thousand years of torture
Fill a blink of Cipher's eye!"
A thin yellow arm reached through the vortex and dragged them back in, as the ceremony continued…
...
The first step was cleaning out the slime, Beauregard knew. Kermit wouldn't be happy to see his nice things so grimy! With a great heave, he upended barrels full of water from the lab's storage over the mech, then laid in with his mop until the whole thing sparkled. He should probably oil it too, to be sure, of course. He began dutifully spraying the mech's surface with the contents of a nearby tube, only for his rag to stick fast to its surface!
"My, old Honeydew's polishing oil is awful sticky. I guess it was in the tube too long." Beauregard mused, not noticing the now-empty Super Adhesive tube cemented to his shoe. Determined to finish the polishing job, he rummaged through a nearby metal cabinet, finding an assortment of hats, ties and other clothing items to use for rags - each of which quickly found itself stuck to the metal behemoth as well.
Bother! There was just no cleaning this one. Deciding to simply toss it out and get Kermit a new one later, Beauregard sealed the cabinet back up and dragged the mech over to the Automatic Wastebasket with a grunt of exertion. He hauled the mech up to the wastebasket's cast-iron maw - it would be a tight fit, but…
To Beauregard's surprise, the moment the two devices came into contact, life returned to the robot's limbs! Held fast to the damaged robot's neck by Super Adhesive, the Automatic Wastebasket's esoteric circuitry began to merge with the robot's own, with its primitive AI - and single-minded hunger - taking the place of the mech's destroyed brain. Reaching out an armored limb, it grabbed Beauregard's mop and stuffed it down its ravenous mouth.
"More! Want more!" the Wastebasket-mech shouted, pulling itself to its feet and lumbering off towards the sounds of chanting, with various inventions of Honeydew's sticking to it as it staggered clumsily about. A steady trickle of water dripped from the mech as it crashed through the wall of Muppet Labs, leaving a trail Beauregard was quick to follow.
…
"To sacrifice our guest star
That's what I'm here to do
Lord Cipher will be happy
When I plunge the knife into - ladies and gentlemen, Fiddleford McGuckeeeeet!"
The cult leader flapped his arms around as the cultists cheered. "Donkey spittle!" cursed the prisoner, as he was wheeled toward the altar. The cult master drew a long, ornate dagger, with a gold handle and intricate filigree in preparation for the killing.
"It's time to get things started!"
"Why don't we get things started?" the whole cult replied in unison.
"It's time to get things started, on the -"
Before the knife could fall, Statler and Waldorf's old balcony exploded into a shower of splinters and the mech - dipping water and flapping with clothing items -crashed down into the seats, landing on one cultist and then cramming a second into its wastebasket mouth with a crunch. Beauregard appeared up in the balcony a moment later, failed to notice its recent destruction in time, and fell tumbling into the seats behind the mech.
"Not before dinnertime, son! Your raccoon ma's going to be proper cross!" cried out McGucket as the mech chewed and the cultists leapt to attention. "Destroy them!" the cult master bellowed.
Four cultists, daggers in hand, charged Beauregard, only to find themselves slipping about uncontrollably! The momentum of the first carried him into the wall behind, and he stumbled back, his dagger lodged in his stomach. "Is this floor covered in axle grease?" asked a second in disbelief, trying and failing to pick herself up off the ground.
"Kermit said to use elbow grease, but we ran out years ago!" Beauregard replied earnestly. A moment later a bolt of magic flew past him, and he turned about, running back up the stairs with more cultists following. Closer to the stage, the mech was laying waste to disoriented cultists. A number of them charged, leaping up to surround and disable the mech, only to find themselves stuck fast by Super Adhesive. Their comrades fired blasts and curses, but the stuck cultists provided the mech a macabre layer of armor against the onslaught of magic.
…
His pursuers close behind, Beauregard leapt back through the doors of Muppet Labs, searching desperately for something to defend himself with. As the first cultist charged in after him, he was hit clean in the face with… one of Lew Zealand's boomerang fish. Grinning in disbelief as the harmless herring flew back towards Beauregard (who clumsily failed to catch it), he unleashed a deadly curse which Beauregard narrowly managed to avoid by ducking behind a table. A low grinding noise could be heard as the fish landed in the Banana Sharpener on the shelf behind him.
"You're trying to stop me with fish? The old man might have been insane, but at least he had genius to back up his madness! A nothing like you wants to oppose us? Ha!"
The cultist kicked the table over, readying a spell to kill Beauregard as four more of his comrades filed into the lab behind him.
Ding, went the Banana Sharpener as its cycle finished, depositing a razor-sharp fish into Beauregard's hand. Covering his eyes with one hand in fright he threw it again, more or less at random, and it whistled through the room in a lazy arc before embedding itself in the wall.
Five heads rolled to the ground a moment later.
…
Back in the theatre, the cultists - despite their dwindling numbers - had managed to mostly turn the tide. A tight circle of the red-robed warlocks surrounded McGucket's mech, restraining it with eldritch bindings. "You're a troublesome, troublesome man, Fiddleford." the leader hissed through clenched teeth, as he prepared to finally finish the ceremony.
Behind him, the first cultist to chase Beauregard managed to scrabble his way out of the axle grease slick, falling into one of the puddles of water the sopping-wet mech had left. Pulling the dagger out gingerly, he ignited one of his hands with hellfire to cauterize the wound…
...causing the flammable water Beauregard had cleaned the mech with to ignite, eliciting a shocked scream from the cultist! Flames rushed up the water trail to where the mech was trapped. With a thunderous blast, the numerous items of exploding clothing stuck to the mech detonated, incapacitating the circle of warlocks and hurling them against the walls along with Honeydew's contraptions and bits of its own machinery. The cult master was thrown back as well, losing his grasp on the ceremonial dagger.
"More… want more…" The wastebasket mumbled, as the mech's processes shuddered to a halt.
Still dizzy, the cult master stood up, surveying the disaster around him. Of the horde he'd brought with him, he couldn't see a single soul. But it could all still be salvaged, if he could just find the dagger… there it was! Underneath an odd bowl-shaped alchemy device the mech had dislodged he could just make out the glint of the ceremonial blade.
"I'm comin' down there! Don't you kids make any more mess!" came the distant shout. The cult master winced - the odd furry creature must have defeated his minions. But the dolt wouldn't arrive in time to stop him! Bill Cipher would rise! With a cackle and a flourish, he scooped the dagger up off the ground…
Only for it to fall apart in his hands. The handle! Every bit of gold had been turned into… cottage cheese!
"Now don't you start filling your gob now too, Earl! My lady works her fur off cooking, and I won't have the whole gang stuffing themselves before dinner!" shouted McGucket in consternation. As the cult master stood, dazed and confused, his hands stained with dairy, McGucket sat up effortlessly. The ropes (burned by the explosion) falling slack around him, McGucket delivered a nasty kick to the man's stomach, causing him to stumble back towards the crippled mech. The wastebasket mouth closed around his leg like a bear trap.
"I warned you folks! Better clear out!" came Beauregard's warning shout from above. He rushed back up to the wrecked balcony, carrying an armful of sharpened carrots. "Honeydew might have been short on bananas, but I've sharpened enough carrots to - woah! Woaaaaohoah!"
As the cult master watched in horror, the magnetic carrots began to quiver in Beauregard's grasp, then pull free to fly unerringly towards the steel mech… and himself, trapped in its mouth. He began summoning one last spell before the shower of deadly orange darts silenced him.
"Well, at least the boy's eatin' himself a balanced meal, this time." McGucket said as the mass of cultist, carrot and cottage cheese disappeared into the mech's mouth.
The Muppet Theatre was silent for a few long moments.
"This is going to take a long time to clean up." Beauregard finally complained.
"Well then… it's time we both got started!" McGucket replied in a familiar singsong tone.
"Why don't we get things started?" echoed Beauregard, perking back up.
"It's time to get things started, on the most contrarian, memory-burying, cultist-harrying, raccoon-marrying,
This is what we call McGucket Shooooooooow!"
--fin--
Last edited:
- Location
- USA
Was the avatar buffed?
Now on average it's a +20 boost (90% times +25 and 10% times -25) for the feldrake wielder, or +15 boost (80% times +25 and 20% times -25) if the user is not the feldrake wielder
Malf could activate it, perhaps? His personal wasn't very valuable this turn and it being 'undone' by him activating it instead wouldn't be such a big deal.
Now on average it's a +20 boost (90% times +25 and 10% times -25) for the feldrake wielder, or +15 boost (80% times +25 and 20% times -25) if the user is not the feldrake wielder
Malf could activate it, perhaps? His personal wasn't very valuable this turn and it being 'undone' by him activating it instead wouldn't be such a big deal.
Crisis: Kataclysm- Our Furless Leader
- Location
- Pennsylvania
Today really isn't shaping up to be much of anything, you muse. You've started to work on your inators after Vanessa's… honestly rather lackluster capoeira lesson. Normally you're over the moon telling people how talented and wonderful your daughter was, but this time you didn't even feel the urge to punch the instructor in the face when he said that her form was terrible! Temujin didn't go too in depth on the hand to hand combat, but ugh. Her stance is awful, pretty much anyone could kick her over with a sweep of their leg!
Oh well. Your little pumpkin can't be perfect at everything, as much as you wish that were true. You're juuuust putting the finishing touches on your latest inator, something that you really hope will tip the odds in your favor! Lately your showings haven't been the greatest, despite your best efforts! Oh sure, back in the day they'd always blow up in your face and end up messing with your plans. But that came with the territory. Maybe they were always destroyed within an afternoon or two. Maybe… maybe you had to reconsider what you were doing with your life, and-
Wait a second.
Your eyes narrow as you pull an odious, fish-shaped cracker out of the circuit boards. It's not like it was disrupting anything, it'd take a lot more than a snack to do that… but you don't eat these. In fact, you can think of absolutely no one you know who eats cat food! Well, except that Reuben guy. Does Juniper keep cats? You suppose come to think of it you do actually have a surprising number of- off topic. This presents a very disturbing possibility. Could it be that someone else had been messing with your inators?!
---
Calvin the Cat sighed wearily. The past several months had been nothing short of abject humiliation for him as a secret agent. Much to his shock and horror, he was unable to escape his holding cell, despite having escaped dozens of death traps in the past! Unfortunately it seemed as if the local mafia were a fair bit more competent than the usual imbeciles he was familiar with; all it took was a few actually attentive guards, divesting him of his hat and any hidden gadgets, and a cage that hadn't been made of leftover tinfoil.
Today, however, something was different. The usual rotation of guards was late and his water bottle hadn't been topped off in hours. For all of his many faults the Don ran an efficient racket around here- this type of sloppiness simply wasn't tolerated. Just where was everyone? Forget the guards, he hadn't heard anyone all morning!
Calvin didn't know what was going on, but this was his chance!
The cat prowled along the wall of the cell in frustration. The door was some infernal device whose arcane mechanisms Calvin could not fathom. Again he batted ineffectually at the mysteriously clear portal.
Calvin tripped and, through the luckiest of coincidences, fell directly through the plastic cat flap and into freedom!
"Mrow?!"
Weeks and weeks of planning his great escape have come to this moment! Calvin turned his trip into a tactical roll, bowling over the few remaining guards and landing atop an elevated scratching post! He jumped from catwalk to catwalk, avoiding the scratching claws of his pursuers and delivering a few scratches back in turn!
He may have been dragged into this pit in a bag, but he will escape a free cat! Ahead of him, a burly ocelot roared in violent indignation and blocked his path. Calvin's honed senses told him that was something off about this one, besides its tail being cut off. He only had a moment to recognize this before the ocelot charged him and sliced straight through a couch!
"Grrow!"
"Meow!"
Calvin dodged the ocelot's sudden assault. It was moving much faster and tore through furniture much quicker than the average house cat. He was dealing with some sort of super cat, and needed to end this fast! Who knew what that purple menace was doing with his hat?
---
Monogram sighed. It was done. It had taken months and months of effort, cooperation with people who knew what a modern spy agency looks like, and enormous retraining costs. But at last, he had done it. His Agents were now proper spies, capable of operating on their own against modern foes and dealing with actual secrets. A new era deserved a new, better name for the Organization Without a Cool Acronym. Today, the New Organization Without a Cool Acronym was reborn!
Perhaps now he could rest. Major Monogram glanced over the many agency files, now digitized and easily accessible. "Newton, Terry… even Agent Kat. Finally we can count on each other."
"You mean Agent Kitty, sir." Karl interrupted.
"Hmm?" Monogram raised an eyebrow.
"Agent K, sir. His name is Agent Kitty."
"No, I'm pretty sure it's Kat."
"No I- hold on, I'll look up his file." Karl tapped away at the computer for a few moments. "Yeah see, it says right here, Agent Kit-"
Karl looked up to see the cut, furry, plump form of an NOWCA agent who was as far from Kat as could be imagined. "Great googly moogly!" He declared. "That doesn't look like Agent K!"
"Well the file is fairly out of date." Monogram explained.
"It's clearly a different cat, sir! Why didn't you ask about this?!"
"Well, I may be the leader of a spy agency, but I don't like to pry about his hair loss!"
"This is terrible!" Karl declared. "Where's the real Agent-"
The doors to the safe room slammed open, revealing a battered, wet, furious tabby without a hat.
"Mrowl!" The real Agent K yowled.
---
Hego looked up at the transformed Yaki Taco in horror. He had always known that serving that sort of food would lead to a sticky end! That diabolical quesadilla on the roof was up to no good, he just knew it! Moving swiftly, he kicked open the door! "HALT, EVILDOER!"
The greasy-faced kid manning the fryer raised his hands in horror.
"I should have known that such a dismal dining establishment would be privy to dastardly deeds of the most dastardly sort!" He was met with stunned silence for several seconds. "No, wait! Dastardly designs! I should have said that! Does… does anyone have a pen?" He looked around to no avail.
With a crackle of ionized air and a blue glow, Hego plunged a fist into the deep fryer! "I SWEAR THAT I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST YAKI TACO OR THEIR REASONABLY SATISFACTORY PRODUCTS! THIS IS IN NO WAY A COMPETITION BETWEEN BRANDS! I APOLOGIZE FOR THIS NECESSARY ACT IN THE PURSUIT OF JUSTICE! I AM NOT ATTACKING AS A REPRESENTATIVE OF BUENO NACHO!"
Takoyaki, tamarind sauce, and errant bits of lettuce went flying as Hego went on a rampage, destroying everything in sight! The few employees foolish enough to remain in the building had quickly evacuated, leaving him to continue his rampage without having to concern himself with collateral damage!
With the restaurant in rubble, Hego continued his rampage up onto the roof! He smashed through the sign, just in case it was part of the transmitter, before bringing his fist down on the satellite dish with a triumphant grin!
"Aha! That should take care of--"
He spun around in time to face the source of a green glow that was aimed at his back!
"Shego!?"
Instead of his tragically evil sister, Hego saw a purple house cat hoisting a laser gun larger than his body!
"A cat? Put that down this instant!"
Kat meowed with a cackle. If Hego could understand the subtle nuances of Kat's alien language, he would have understood that he was too late to disable the signal. Even now, two fleets were moving into the planet's upper orbit… thought neither was aware of the other. Kat could have explained that, but Kat wasn't interested in dumbing down his dialogue to anything a human could comprehend, so he just aimed his blaster and shot Hego's center of mass instead.
Kat Martial Check:
67+36+35+20+5=163
Hego Martial Contest:
50+28-10-27(Zero)= 41
Kat Critical Success!
Over the past year or so, Kat had accumulated quite an arsenal of interesting devices right under the delusional pharmacist's nose. This one in particular was a doozy; too tempting to leave in the hands of Doofenshmirtz if he wasn't going to use it! Kat had taken the inator from storage, made it portable, and mounted it to his "borrowed" DEI laser gun. It went off in sync with his shots, causing the room to flash in bright, kaleidoscopic colors!
Thinking quickly, Hego dropped to the ground and let the shots pass over his head! That was a close one! The laser gun looked like it had a bit of a punch to it! Now, all he had to do was-
Thinking quickly, Hego dodged to the left! The terrible tabby's eyes were pointing off in the other direction, so that was where his shots would end up, right? Hego got his answer half a second later, as a green energy beam crashed into his empowered blue aura and punched right through his defenses! The crusading hero was sent flying out of the Yaki Taco, sailing in the air until he collided with the electric fences of the Doofanian dinosaur preserve.
Hego resisted the live charge of the fence and ripped himself loose from it. The energy blast and electricity were painful, but he would power through any physical harm!
"My stars and garters! That crazy cat blasted me all the way to Doofrassic Park!"
Hego blinked. He could still see his enemy and the ruins of the satellite from his vantage point of a confused brontosaurus.
"Why is Yaki Taco across the road from Doofrassic Park?" Hego pondered this for as long as he normally pondered things. "No matter! FACE ME, YOU FELONIOUS FELINE!"
Kat sniffed and turned his back, leaping to another rooftop.
"HOW DARE YOU IGNORE ME, YOU FELONIOUS FELINE?! YOU CANNOT IGNORE THE FIST OF JUSTICE!"
Hego Intrigue Check: Find a shortcut!
DC 70 needed, take the worst
19+3-27 (Zero)=-5
77+3-27 (Zero)=53
28+3-27 (Zero)=4
36+3-27 (Zero)=12
Extremely Critical Failure!
He knew exactly where the… horrid cat-thing would end up! Obviously he was going to the most important spot in the city, DEI Headquarters! All he had to do was take a quick shortcut through some nearby alleyways and he would be there in no time!
---
This was bad! In complete violation of local zoning laws, someone was undertaking a massive construction project in the middle of an alley here! He might've been in a hurry, but… surely it wouldn't hurt to stop in and inform him of his wrongdoing, right?
Hego started as he saw the "DO NOT DISTURB- SUPERVILLAIN AT WORK" sign before him. The fiend! That explained the flagrant disregard for city planning. Now full of righteous fury, Hego strode forward, and immediately fell into a waiting trapdoor.
"MWAHAHAHAHA! FINALLY! I knew some do-gooder would eventually…" Roddy Blair turned around, cutting himself off mid-sentence as his mustache drooped in disappointment. "Oh. It's you."
---
This is terrible! It appears as if your fair Doofania is being assaulted by a gang of superpowered cats! You… should probably send someone to deal with it. A lot of your employees are out doing other things or aren't in the city at all, so your choices are limited to who was here based on random rolls- characters canonically in doofania this turn were much more likely to be available. Doof is going on this quest, so you're allowed up to four other heroes.
[ ] Juniper
[ ] Jumba
[ ] Janna
[ ] Goofy
[ ] Monogram
[ ] Genghis
[ ] Dennis (rolled 99 to be here- he receives +3 for this quest because he is Very Excited.)
[ ] Kitsune
[ ] Wasabi
[ ] Activate the Avatar of Feldrake?
-[ ] With whom?
The Avatar will take up the hero's actions next turn, since you've already gotten results at this point.
Probably should have thought of that beforehand. Sorry!
There will be a twelve hour moratorium on voting.
Sabotage Revealed!
Kat's efforts have resulted in a -10 to Inator rolls since March/April 2016!
https://forums.sufficientvelocity.com/threads/doofquest-a-disney-villains-victorious-ck2-style-quest.68764/page-1204#post-17548825
Oh well. Your little pumpkin can't be perfect at everything, as much as you wish that were true. You're juuuust putting the finishing touches on your latest inator, something that you really hope will tip the odds in your favor! Lately your showings haven't been the greatest, despite your best efforts! Oh sure, back in the day they'd always blow up in your face and end up messing with your plans. But that came with the territory. Maybe they were always destroyed within an afternoon or two. Maybe… maybe you had to reconsider what you were doing with your life, and-
Wait a second.
Your eyes narrow as you pull an odious, fish-shaped cracker out of the circuit boards. It's not like it was disrupting anything, it'd take a lot more than a snack to do that… but you don't eat these. In fact, you can think of absolutely no one you know who eats cat food! Well, except that Reuben guy. Does Juniper keep cats? You suppose come to think of it you do actually have a surprising number of- off topic. This presents a very disturbing possibility. Could it be that someone else had been messing with your inators?!
---
Calvin the Cat sighed wearily. The past several months had been nothing short of abject humiliation for him as a secret agent. Much to his shock and horror, he was unable to escape his holding cell, despite having escaped dozens of death traps in the past! Unfortunately it seemed as if the local mafia were a fair bit more competent than the usual imbeciles he was familiar with; all it took was a few actually attentive guards, divesting him of his hat and any hidden gadgets, and a cage that hadn't been made of leftover tinfoil.
Today, however, something was different. The usual rotation of guards was late and his water bottle hadn't been topped off in hours. For all of his many faults the Don ran an efficient racket around here- this type of sloppiness simply wasn't tolerated. Just where was everyone? Forget the guards, he hadn't heard anyone all morning!
Calvin didn't know what was going on, but this was his chance!
The cat prowled along the wall of the cell in frustration. The door was some infernal device whose arcane mechanisms Calvin could not fathom. Again he batted ineffectually at the mysteriously clear portal.
Calvin tripped and, through the luckiest of coincidences, fell directly through the plastic cat flap and into freedom!
"Mrow?!"
Weeks and weeks of planning his great escape have come to this moment! Calvin turned his trip into a tactical roll, bowling over the few remaining guards and landing atop an elevated scratching post! He jumped from catwalk to catwalk, avoiding the scratching claws of his pursuers and delivering a few scratches back in turn!
He may have been dragged into this pit in a bag, but he will escape a free cat! Ahead of him, a burly ocelot roared in violent indignation and blocked his path. Calvin's honed senses told him that was something off about this one, besides its tail being cut off. He only had a moment to recognize this before the ocelot charged him and sliced straight through a couch!
"Grrow!"
"Meow!"
Calvin dodged the ocelot's sudden assault. It was moving much faster and tore through furniture much quicker than the average house cat. He was dealing with some sort of super cat, and needed to end this fast! Who knew what that purple menace was doing with his hat?
---
Monogram sighed. It was done. It had taken months and months of effort, cooperation with people who knew what a modern spy agency looks like, and enormous retraining costs. But at last, he had done it. His Agents were now proper spies, capable of operating on their own against modern foes and dealing with actual secrets. A new era deserved a new, better name for the Organization Without a Cool Acronym. Today, the New Organization Without a Cool Acronym was reborn!
Perhaps now he could rest. Major Monogram glanced over the many agency files, now digitized and easily accessible. "Newton, Terry… even Agent Kat. Finally we can count on each other."
"You mean Agent Kitty, sir." Karl interrupted.
"Hmm?" Monogram raised an eyebrow.
"Agent K, sir. His name is Agent Kitty."
"No, I'm pretty sure it's Kat."
"No I- hold on, I'll look up his file." Karl tapped away at the computer for a few moments. "Yeah see, it says right here, Agent Kit-"
Karl looked up to see the cut, furry, plump form of an NOWCA agent who was as far from Kat as could be imagined. "Great googly moogly!" He declared. "That doesn't look like Agent K!"
"Well the file is fairly out of date." Monogram explained.
"It's clearly a different cat, sir! Why didn't you ask about this?!"
"Well, I may be the leader of a spy agency, but I don't like to pry about his hair loss!"
"This is terrible!" Karl declared. "Where's the real Agent-"
The doors to the safe room slammed open, revealing a battered, wet, furious tabby without a hat.
"Mrowl!" The real Agent K yowled.
---
Hego looked up at the transformed Yaki Taco in horror. He had always known that serving that sort of food would lead to a sticky end! That diabolical quesadilla on the roof was up to no good, he just knew it! Moving swiftly, he kicked open the door! "HALT, EVILDOER!"
The greasy-faced kid manning the fryer raised his hands in horror.
"I should have known that such a dismal dining establishment would be privy to dastardly deeds of the most dastardly sort!" He was met with stunned silence for several seconds. "No, wait! Dastardly designs! I should have said that! Does… does anyone have a pen?" He looked around to no avail.
With a crackle of ionized air and a blue glow, Hego plunged a fist into the deep fryer! "I SWEAR THAT I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST YAKI TACO OR THEIR REASONABLY SATISFACTORY PRODUCTS! THIS IS IN NO WAY A COMPETITION BETWEEN BRANDS! I APOLOGIZE FOR THIS NECESSARY ACT IN THE PURSUIT OF JUSTICE! I AM NOT ATTACKING AS A REPRESENTATIVE OF BUENO NACHO!"
Takoyaki, tamarind sauce, and errant bits of lettuce went flying as Hego went on a rampage, destroying everything in sight! The few employees foolish enough to remain in the building had quickly evacuated, leaving him to continue his rampage without having to concern himself with collateral damage!
With the restaurant in rubble, Hego continued his rampage up onto the roof! He smashed through the sign, just in case it was part of the transmitter, before bringing his fist down on the satellite dish with a triumphant grin!
"Aha! That should take care of--"
He spun around in time to face the source of a green glow that was aimed at his back!
"Shego!?"
Instead of his tragically evil sister, Hego saw a purple house cat hoisting a laser gun larger than his body!
"A cat? Put that down this instant!"
Kat meowed with a cackle. If Hego could understand the subtle nuances of Kat's alien language, he would have understood that he was too late to disable the signal. Even now, two fleets were moving into the planet's upper orbit… thought neither was aware of the other. Kat could have explained that, but Kat wasn't interested in dumbing down his dialogue to anything a human could comprehend, so he just aimed his blaster and shot Hego's center of mass instead.
Kat Martial Check:
67+36+35+20+5=163
Hego Martial Contest:
50+28-10-27(Zero)= 41
Kat Critical Success!
Over the past year or so, Kat had accumulated quite an arsenal of interesting devices right under the delusional pharmacist's nose. This one in particular was a doozy; too tempting to leave in the hands of Doofenshmirtz if he wasn't going to use it! Kat had taken the inator from storage, made it portable, and mounted it to his "borrowed" DEI laser gun. It went off in sync with his shots, causing the room to flash in bright, kaleidoscopic colors!
Thinking quickly, Hego dodged to the left! The terrible tabby's eyes were pointing off in the other direction, so that was where his shots would end up, right? Hego got his answer half a second later, as a green energy beam crashed into his empowered blue aura and punched right through his defenses! The crusading hero was sent flying out of the Yaki Taco, sailing in the air until he collided with the electric fences of the Doofanian dinosaur preserve.
Hego resisted the live charge of the fence and ripped himself loose from it. The energy blast and electricity were painful, but he would power through any physical harm!
"My stars and garters! That crazy cat blasted me all the way to Doofrassic Park!"
Hego blinked. He could still see his enemy and the ruins of the satellite from his vantage point of a confused brontosaurus.
"Why is Yaki Taco across the road from Doofrassic Park?" Hego pondered this for as long as he normally pondered things. "No matter! FACE ME, YOU FELONIOUS FELINE!"
Kat sniffed and turned his back, leaping to another rooftop.
"HOW DARE YOU IGNORE ME, YOU FELONIOUS FELINE?! YOU CANNOT IGNORE THE FIST OF JUSTICE!"
Hego Intrigue Check: Find a shortcut!
DC 70 needed, take the worst
19+3-27 (Zero)=-5
28+3-27 (Zero)=4
36+3-27 (Zero)=12
Extremely Critical Failure!
He knew exactly where the… horrid cat-thing would end up! Obviously he was going to the most important spot in the city, DEI Headquarters! All he had to do was take a quick shortcut through some nearby alleyways and he would be there in no time!
---
This was bad! In complete violation of local zoning laws, someone was undertaking a massive construction project in the middle of an alley here! He might've been in a hurry, but… surely it wouldn't hurt to stop in and inform him of his wrongdoing, right?
Hego started as he saw the "DO NOT DISTURB- SUPERVILLAIN AT WORK" sign before him. The fiend! That explained the flagrant disregard for city planning. Now full of righteous fury, Hego strode forward, and immediately fell into a waiting trapdoor.
"MWAHAHAHAHA! FINALLY! I knew some do-gooder would eventually…" Roddy Blair turned around, cutting himself off mid-sentence as his mustache drooped in disappointment. "Oh. It's you."
---
This is terrible! It appears as if your fair Doofania is being assaulted by a gang of superpowered cats! You… should probably send someone to deal with it. A lot of your employees are out doing other things or aren't in the city at all, so your choices are limited to who was here based on random rolls- characters canonically in doofania this turn were much more likely to be available. Doof is going on this quest, so you're allowed up to four other heroes.
[ ] Juniper
[ ] Jumba
[ ] Janna
[ ] Goofy
[ ] Monogram
[ ] Genghis
[ ] Dennis (rolled 99 to be here- he receives +3 for this quest because he is Very Excited.)
[ ] Kitsune
[ ] Wasabi
[ ] Activate the Avatar of Feldrake?
-[ ] With whom?
The Avatar will take up the hero's actions next turn, since you've already gotten results at this point.
Probably should have thought of that beforehand. Sorry!
There will be a twelve hour moratorium on voting.
Sabotage Revealed!
Kat's efforts have resulted in a -10 to Inator rolls since March/April 2016!
https://forums.sufficientvelocity.com/threads/doofquest-a-disney-villains-victorious-ck2-style-quest.68764/page-1204#post-17548825
The original opening scene involved Doof finding a purple hair, but we forgot that Kat is pretty clearly hairless! We had to switch what Doof found to something else and adjust the rest of the passage, but as we were editing the interlude, we mistakenly came up with the following...
Your eyes narrow as you pull an odious, fish-shaped cracker out of the circuit boards. It's not like it was disrupting anything, it'd take a lot more than a snack to do that… but you don't eat these. In fact, you can think of absolutely no one you know who eats cat food! Well, except that Tom kid. And Juniper has purple highlights you guess. You suppose come to think of it you do actually have a surprising number of- off topic. This presents a very disturbing possibility. Could it be that someone else had been messing with your inators?!
Tom eats cat food now. It's canon.
Your eyes narrow as you pull an odious, fish-shaped cracker out of the circuit boards. It's not like it was disrupting anything, it'd take a lot more than a snack to do that… but you don't eat these. In fact, you can think of absolutely no one you know who eats cat food! Well, except that Tom kid. And Juniper has purple highlights you guess. You suppose come to think of it you do actually have a surprising number of- off topic. This presents a very disturbing possibility. Could it be that someone else had been messing with your inators?!
Tom eats cat food now. It's canon.
Last edited:
weredrago2
"Cowabunga, Shadow the Hedgehog..."
- Location
- Florida
New card!
I knew it. Damn it.
...so our luck was still sucky, but it probably didnt help.
Do we want to gamble on having Malf do the Avatar?
nkd1325
KNIGHT OF ORANGE
- Location
- AT HIS MAJESTY'S SIDE
So that's why all out inator rolls have been bad.
- Location
- Pennsylvania
Your inator rolls have been pretty lackluster by themselves, Kat just added some inconvenience on top of that.
Oh hey, this looks familiar...
KAAAATTTTTTT
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Ok, so, whoever we choose to activate the Avatar is unavailable for other actions next turn. If we pick Malf, no basic Magic Theory, and if we pick Juniper, no basic Dance Magic Theory.
- Location
- The Z-Cave
Well, Hego was as worthless as expected, what I'm really surprised is that he's still alive.
Now we send in people who actually work. So Temujin, Janna, and Dennis make a good team so we just need someone good with stewardship to round out our four heavenly kings.
Now we send in people who actually work. So Temujin, Janna, and Dennis make a good team so we just need someone good with stewardship to round out our four heavenly kings.
So Xanatos and/or the US Gov are probably going to have a very busy time in the very near future. One of them is obviously Kay's species. Is the other the Gal Fed?
- Location
- Somewhere nearby.
Rude, just rude.