- Pronouns
- He/Him
At a certain point the different drug groups are going to have to start fighting each other over market share, weve got SO MANY DRUGS
-
Going forward, links to content from Twitter (now X) will no longer be embedded. Pre-existing links should not be affected.
DoofQuest- a Disney Villains Victorious CK2-Style Quest
- Thread starter Made in Heaven
- Start date
- Crossover
This is why I want to focus on building an alliance between us, Shego, and Xanatis next turn to focus on the drug cartel in the midwest.
January/February 2017 Rival Reports, Part III
- Location
- Pennsylvania
???
[ ] Lay Low
DC 70
52+33+18+1=104
Critical Success!
You get the impression that it's going to be much harder to find someone you might be looking for.
???
[ ] Infiltrate Doofania
DC 160
86+25+23+50 (???)=204
There sure are a lot of cats walking the streets of Doofania lately. Like, an awful lot. Annoyingly, they don't even seem to have brought down the mouse population! What gives?!
Demona
[ ] Hunt for Allies
DC 50
98+6= 106
Critical Success
To be continued in Interlude: Hate
???
[ ] ???
???
??+??=???
We're not sure why we bothered showing you this one.
Alexander Thailog
[ ] Solidify Corporate Control
DC 100
63+40+22+30 (Dominique Destine Incident)+2=157
Critical Success!
The shakeup following Dominique Destine's departure from Nightstones has cleared in record time, with the company reportedly seeing massive increases in morale and production. The present change does not paint a positive picture of Destine as a manager, with many questioning if Alexander was not the brains of the operation all along.
Huntsclan
[ ] Push Propaganda
DC 100
100+49+27+31+20 (Highly Publicized)+7=234
Critical Success!
Much of Xanatos' work on calming tensions in New York has been undone, as factions including local broadcaster WVRN have come out strongly against the Gargoyle presence in the city. Newscaster Jon Caenmore railed against the beasts, calling for increased military presence in the city and barely stopping short of promoting pogroms.
Middleton Drug Ring
[ ] Sell More Drugs, Baby
DC 90
77+20+40+10=147
Critical Success!
The Drug Rings in Middleton are having a bumper month, if police reports are to be believed. Filthy lucre is flowing into their coffers, enriching whoever is behind it all.
Paine
[ ] Solidify Control of Underground
DC 100
27+43+26+6=102
Critical Success!
Large portions of the underworld left adrift by the major arrest at the Havana Hotel this month have been filled by Alexander Paine's own outfit, taking advantage of his competitors' failure to escape the conference in time.
???
[ ] Purchase St. Canard
DC 90
54+42+26+6=128
Critical Success!
Glomgold, always ready to make a quick buck, has happily sold the still-smouldering eyesore that is Saint Canard to an unknown developer. Perhaps something good will come of it, assuming Negaduck does not return someday just for the giggles.
The Three Caballeros
Quest: [ ] The Land of Ice and Snow
Feldrake has informed you (via pointing at his map) that his personal sanctum in the far north has been breached. He admitted after considerable griping that it may, actually, have been more of a base than a sanctum, but bases are for plebians!
Regardless, you now have some idea of where in the world Donald may have been a few days ago. Where he is now though? Entirely unclear.
Mr Big
[ ] Reach Out to Shere Khan
DC 45
34+24+21+5=84
Critical Success!
To be continued in Interlude: The Tiger & The Shrew
Underworld
[ ] Source further Tramorfidian Crystals
DC 66
95+27+17+4=143
Critical Success!
Tom has let you know, with some measure of relief, that his family has succeeded in obtaining a number of magical artifacts that apparently prevent teleportation. As dimensional raids from Toffee's forces are apparently a regular occurence down below, this is a significant strategic victory.
SFIT
[ ] Open Tadashi Hamada Hall
89
The San Fransokyo Institute of Technology announced today that their newly constructed lecture hall, built to replace the former Daigaku Hall following its tragic fire several years ago, has been named the Tadashi Hamada Exhibition Hall in honor of the promising student whose life was cut short by the accident. SFIT is currently accepting donations for a memorial endowment.
The Circle
[ ] Community Outreach Programs
DC 120
100+54+30+24+6=214
Critical Success!
A fellowship of like-minded individuals in San Fransokyo has taken it upon themselves to give back to the community in the form of several guided outreach programs, and in recent months they've been met with nothing but success. Homelessness has sharply decreased, several new food kitchens are up and running, and there are even crews of volunteers that clean up trash in alleys. Things are looking bright for the city!
Birthday Bandit
[ ] Rob a birthday party
DC 30
20+10+6+1=37
Critical Success!
The Birthday Bandit, while repeatedly mocked for being an overly-specific criminal clown, proves that every villain gets lucky once in a while. He recently performed a heist at the birthday party of the prohibitively wealthy Señor Senior, Junior, walking away with all of the cash gift baskets that were left at the door.
Junior was reported as having broken down crying but was otherwise not affected, and is not expected to press charges in spite of the very large sum of stolen money. Criminal analysts believe the Birthday Bandit will reinvest these funds into increasing the reach of his fledgling party theft ring and artificially boosting his subscriber numbers on social media.
Saberling Electronics
[ ] Sell Vending Machines
DC 80
64+30+19+2=115
Critical Success!
Many of your employees were pleasantly surprised when the aging, decrepit vending machines holding little more than stale vanilla cookies and old gum were replaced with sleek, modern chrome ones bearing a wide variety of snacks. You vaguely remembered Mirage mentioning something about this months ago, but given that you're mentally averse to most things involving vending machines you choose not to care.
Nyums Corporation
[ ] Reintroduce Smile Dip
DC 110
7+25+18+4=54
Critical Failure!
Word on the street is that a dangerous new street drug called 'Smile Dip' is making the rounds. Users report intense hallucinations and pupil dilation followed by a horrific crash. It is as yet unclear whether this represents another offering from the Middleton Drug Ring, or if some other insidious faction is producing this vile powder. Regardless, one thing is clear: A new front has opened in the War on Drugs, and the drugs are winning.
Smarty Mart
[ ] Collaborate with Al's Toy Barn
DC 80
28+48+24+4=104
Critical Success!
Smarty Mart has announced a comprehensive new deal to stock popular toys from the Al's Toy Barn chain of toy stores in his own mega-warehouses, acting as both a retailer and logistics network for the chain.
Noodle Burger
[ ] Release a new mascot
DC 55
47+18+22+3=90
Critical Success!
Beloved Sokyo burger chain Noodle Burger has just released their new mascot, and it's a doozy! Featuring state of the art technology allowing him to determine flavor profiles and serve the perfect snack within seconds, Noodle Burger Boy has been an instant hit. He even has self-learning programs! Since he's self-correcting, nothing can go wrong!
Lester's Possum Park
[ ] Commit Tourism
DC 50
56+13+1=70
Critical Success!
Lester's Possum Park was in the news recently for inexplicably doing… well. You don't know why people keep coming here based on what you've heard, but clearly somebody is. What's the annual turnover in a park full of possums? Do they even replace those creepy robots? Or is it one of those "nostalgia" things you keep hearing about that blinds judgement based on preexisting faulty memories and covered-up traumas?
Nemesis Action!
The Glooms
[ ] Inconvenience Janna
DC 50
88+19+42(???)+4=153
Critical Success!
Today, on top of everything else, you got to watch in horror as an enormous balloon bearing the horrifying visage of Jay Leno bore down upon DEI headquarters. Your defense lasers quickly sprung into action, shooting down the terrible thing before mass hysteria could ensue. Unfortunately, it landed on a factory that produces doughnuts. Or maybe it was rice balls. You're not sure. Anyway long story short they hit a gas main, and well… you had to make some reparations.
...Where did they even get that balloon?!?!?
You have lost 1 income!
Random Event
Flip a coin. Heads, roll from 1-20, tails, roll from 80-100.
Heads
1d20=03
You get the feeling that something terrible has happened… somewhere else. How improbable is that?
At least it's not in your own backyard, right?
Inator Roll
In-vest-inator: This machine puts you and everyone in a 3-mile radius in some very unfashionable vests - tightly enough you can't get them off! -5 to Diplomacy rolls for the turn - except for quests, as your fortunate subordinates are out of range!
[ ] Lay Low
DC 70
52+33+18+1=104
Critical Success!
You get the impression that it's going to be much harder to find someone you might be looking for.
???
[ ] Infiltrate Doofania
DC 160
86+25+23+50 (???)=204
There sure are a lot of cats walking the streets of Doofania lately. Like, an awful lot. Annoyingly, they don't even seem to have brought down the mouse population! What gives?!
Demona
[ ] Hunt for Allies
DC 50
98+6= 106
Critical Success
To be continued in Interlude: Hate
???
[ ] ???
???
??+??=???
We're not sure why we bothered showing you this one.
Alexander Thailog
[ ] Solidify Corporate Control
DC 100
63+40+22+30 (Dominique Destine Incident)+2=157
Critical Success!
The shakeup following Dominique Destine's departure from Nightstones has cleared in record time, with the company reportedly seeing massive increases in morale and production. The present change does not paint a positive picture of Destine as a manager, with many questioning if Alexander was not the brains of the operation all along.
Huntsclan
[ ] Push Propaganda
DC 100
100+49+27+31+20 (Highly Publicized)+7=234
Critical Success!
Much of Xanatos' work on calming tensions in New York has been undone, as factions including local broadcaster WVRN have come out strongly against the Gargoyle presence in the city. Newscaster Jon Caenmore railed against the beasts, calling for increased military presence in the city and barely stopping short of promoting pogroms.
Middleton Drug Ring
[ ] Sell More Drugs, Baby
DC 90
77+20+40+10=147
Critical Success!
The Drug Rings in Middleton are having a bumper month, if police reports are to be believed. Filthy lucre is flowing into their coffers, enriching whoever is behind it all.
Paine
[ ] Solidify Control of Underground
DC 100
27+43+26+6=102
Critical Success!
Large portions of the underworld left adrift by the major arrest at the Havana Hotel this month have been filled by Alexander Paine's own outfit, taking advantage of his competitors' failure to escape the conference in time.
???
[ ] Purchase St. Canard
DC 90
54+42+26+6=128
Critical Success!
Glomgold, always ready to make a quick buck, has happily sold the still-smouldering eyesore that is Saint Canard to an unknown developer. Perhaps something good will come of it, assuming Negaduck does not return someday just for the giggles.
The Three Caballeros
Quest: [ ] The Land of Ice and Snow
Feldrake has informed you (via pointing at his map) that his personal sanctum in the far north has been breached. He admitted after considerable griping that it may, actually, have been more of a base than a sanctum, but bases are for plebians!
Regardless, you now have some idea of where in the world Donald may have been a few days ago. Where he is now though? Entirely unclear.
Mr Big
[ ] Reach Out to Shere Khan
DC 45
34+24+21+5=84
Critical Success!
To be continued in Interlude: The Tiger & The Shrew
Underworld
[ ] Source further Tramorfidian Crystals
DC 66
95+27+17+4=143
Critical Success!
Tom has let you know, with some measure of relief, that his family has succeeded in obtaining a number of magical artifacts that apparently prevent teleportation. As dimensional raids from Toffee's forces are apparently a regular occurence down below, this is a significant strategic victory.
SFIT
[ ] Open Tadashi Hamada Hall
89
The San Fransokyo Institute of Technology announced today that their newly constructed lecture hall, built to replace the former Daigaku Hall following its tragic fire several years ago, has been named the Tadashi Hamada Exhibition Hall in honor of the promising student whose life was cut short by the accident. SFIT is currently accepting donations for a memorial endowment.
The Circle
[ ] Community Outreach Programs
DC 120
100+54+30+24+6=214
Critical Success!
A fellowship of like-minded individuals in San Fransokyo has taken it upon themselves to give back to the community in the form of several guided outreach programs, and in recent months they've been met with nothing but success. Homelessness has sharply decreased, several new food kitchens are up and running, and there are even crews of volunteers that clean up trash in alleys. Things are looking bright for the city!
Birthday Bandit
[ ] Rob a birthday party
DC 30
20+10+6+1=37
Critical Success!
The Birthday Bandit, while repeatedly mocked for being an overly-specific criminal clown, proves that every villain gets lucky once in a while. He recently performed a heist at the birthday party of the prohibitively wealthy Señor Senior, Junior, walking away with all of the cash gift baskets that were left at the door.
Junior was reported as having broken down crying but was otherwise not affected, and is not expected to press charges in spite of the very large sum of stolen money. Criminal analysts believe the Birthday Bandit will reinvest these funds into increasing the reach of his fledgling party theft ring and artificially boosting his subscriber numbers on social media.
Saberling Electronics
[ ] Sell Vending Machines
DC 80
64+30+19+2=115
Critical Success!
Many of your employees were pleasantly surprised when the aging, decrepit vending machines holding little more than stale vanilla cookies and old gum were replaced with sleek, modern chrome ones bearing a wide variety of snacks. You vaguely remembered Mirage mentioning something about this months ago, but given that you're mentally averse to most things involving vending machines you choose not to care.
Nyums Corporation
[ ] Reintroduce Smile Dip
DC 110
7+25+18+4=54
Critical Failure!
Word on the street is that a dangerous new street drug called 'Smile Dip' is making the rounds. Users report intense hallucinations and pupil dilation followed by a horrific crash. It is as yet unclear whether this represents another offering from the Middleton Drug Ring, or if some other insidious faction is producing this vile powder. Regardless, one thing is clear: A new front has opened in the War on Drugs, and the drugs are winning.
Smarty Mart
[ ] Collaborate with Al's Toy Barn
DC 80
28+48+24+4=104
Critical Success!
Smarty Mart has announced a comprehensive new deal to stock popular toys from the Al's Toy Barn chain of toy stores in his own mega-warehouses, acting as both a retailer and logistics network for the chain.
Noodle Burger
[ ] Release a new mascot
DC 55
47+18+22+3=90
Critical Success!
Beloved Sokyo burger chain Noodle Burger has just released their new mascot, and it's a doozy! Featuring state of the art technology allowing him to determine flavor profiles and serve the perfect snack within seconds, Noodle Burger Boy has been an instant hit. He even has self-learning programs! Since he's self-correcting, nothing can go wrong!
Lester's Possum Park
[ ] Commit Tourism
DC 50
56+13+1=70
Critical Success!
Lester's Possum Park was in the news recently for inexplicably doing… well. You don't know why people keep coming here based on what you've heard, but clearly somebody is. What's the annual turnover in a park full of possums? Do they even replace those creepy robots? Or is it one of those "nostalgia" things you keep hearing about that blinds judgement based on preexisting faulty memories and covered-up traumas?
Nemesis Action!
The Glooms
[ ] Inconvenience Janna
DC 50
88+19+42(???)+4=153
Critical Success!
Today, on top of everything else, you got to watch in horror as an enormous balloon bearing the horrifying visage of Jay Leno bore down upon DEI headquarters. Your defense lasers quickly sprung into action, shooting down the terrible thing before mass hysteria could ensue. Unfortunately, it landed on a factory that produces doughnuts. Or maybe it was rice balls. You're not sure. Anyway long story short they hit a gas main, and well… you had to make some reparations.
...Where did they even get that balloon?!?!?
You have lost 1 income!
Random Event
Flip a coin. Heads, roll from 1-20, tails, roll from 80-100.
Heads
1d20=03
You get the feeling that something terrible has happened… somewhere else. How improbable is that?
At least it's not in your own backyard, right?
Inator Roll
In-vest-inator: This machine puts you and everyone in a 3-mile radius in some very unfashionable vests - tightly enough you can't get them off! -5 to Diplomacy rolls for the turn - except for quests, as your fortunate subordinates are out of range!
- Pronouns
- He/Him
SERIOUSLY HUNTSCLAN? SERIOUSLY? and demona is having a lovely time as well. Great
mangawriter77
Otaku^9000 (In my own opinion)
- Location
- You'll neeever guess
- Pronouns
- He/Him/His
Bad luck on top of bad luck on top of bad luck on top of bad luck on top of bad luck on top of bad luck on top of bad luck on top of bad luck on top of bad luck on top of bad luck on top of bad luck on top of bad luck on top of bad luck on top of bad luck on top of bad luck on top of bad luck on top of bad luck on top of bad luck on top of bad luck on top of bad luck on top of bad luck, that's what this is.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Are we really going to have to worry about vending machines? Its doofs greatest nightmare
AProcrastinator
You can Certainly Try
- Location
- Getting Somewhere
- Pronouns
- She/Hers
- Location
- Philippines
- Pronouns
- He/Him
This is a major oof in general.
- Location
- Texas
Wow, a lot of these would be critical successes even without probability being manipulated.
- Location
- the Netherworld Dood
Of course of course Everyone else has all of their projects succeed and we suffer the most failures.
and the even roll is turbo crap, and our inator is also crap.
and we have an army in our area which we still haven't fucking noticed.
Is this 2020 in setting? Because it feels like 2020 in setting.
mangawriter77
Otaku^9000 (In my own opinion)
- Location
- You'll neeever guess
- Pronouns
- He/Him/His
Apparently, the company is run by this guy, who's the bad guy from G-Force. I both applaud the QMs for their resourcefulness and rue that we now have even more annoyances to worry about
ThatGuyWithIdeas
Treize died for our sins
- Location
- Romania
I think we should stop activating inators... they've mostly been bad for us, and any good we got out of them was minor. If we do insist on activating inators every turn, then we should also take the tinkering action to ensure we can (potentially) mitigate bad inators.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
I've already explained, mathematically, in detail, that this is factually wrong.
Of course of course Everyone else has all of their projects succeed and we suffer the most failures.
and the even roll is turbo crap, and our inator is also crap.
and we have an army in our area which we still haven't fucking noticed.
Is this 2020 in setting? Because it feels like 2020 in setting.
weredrago2
"Cowabunga, Shadow the Hedgehog..."
- Location
- Florida
How else were we going to deliver a vending machine joke? I can't say we have plans to have the vending machines come to life or turn into a big dumb magnet to cover the world in space junk thanks to the Nic Cage mole. It's a joke.
mangawriter77
Otaku^9000 (In my own opinion)
- Location
- You'll neeever guess
- Pronouns
- He/Him/His
Me before reading: Maybe this won't be so bad.
Me after reading: *deep inhale*
GraaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA-
Me after reading: *deep inhale*
GraaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA-
Mojave
BWAAAH
- Pronouns
- He
That Perfect Cell thing is too accurate lol. Well, what else could we expect with a probabilinator? All we can do now is live, let live, and put up Dougal La Mancha for mayor
- Location
- USA
So....
Not a great turn...
Let's just... move on.
Not a great turn...
Let's just... move on.
- Location
- Who knows?
I honestly feel that people in the thread should learn to uh chill out and let things go. Learn some zen. Okay so some people are succeeding at things. So what? There are bad people succeeding at things, like the Drug Cartel! So what? Doof is not the World Police. He does not have the inclination, resources or the capacity to be the world police. Trying to be the world police will just mean you do nothing and get more and more frustrated as you find more and more things that are wrong and bad.
Yes there are some things that directly affected him negatively, but it's not really anything insurmountable unless you make it so. Like the Gloom's crit success cost 1 income. Thats...not really the end of the world. What about the bad random event roll? Well lets be real. Neither Doof nor the thread has any feasible way of figuring out what the hell that is. Which means negative chances of being able to affect it even if we dropped everything to address this new issue. Why bother worrying or stressing about something you cannot know about or change? The best thing would be to just batten down and focus in case the unknown unknowns become known soonish.
Yes there are some things that directly affected him negatively, but it's not really anything insurmountable unless you make it so. Like the Gloom's crit success cost 1 income. Thats...not really the end of the world. What about the bad random event roll? Well lets be real. Neither Doof nor the thread has any feasible way of figuring out what the hell that is. Which means negative chances of being able to affect it even if we dropped everything to address this new issue. Why bother worrying or stressing about something you cannot know about or change? The best thing would be to just batten down and focus in case the unknown unknowns become known soonish.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
So, my crackpot theory of the update is that Smile dip making it out of withdrawl would have been good for bill due to the hallucinations it can cause allowing him to influence people easier
Its EXTREMELY CRACKPOT. But conspiracy theories around bill are fun
Its EXTREMELY CRACKPOT. But conspiracy theories around bill are fun
- Location
- England
- Pronouns
- He/Him
mangawriter77
Otaku^9000 (In my own opinion)
- Location
- You'll neeever guess
- Pronouns
- He/Him/His
As someone who got that reference, can you explain it to me?
KidFromPallet
Pokemon Fan
- Location
- Pallet Town
Dang it Star, we're trying to help you!
A couple actions we really wanted to critfail that had a realistically possible failure chance. Just grin and bare it, I guess.
And that +50 looks specifically similar to the bonus Jumba's supervillains got, so I guess that prototype Kat stole actually works?
Huntsclan evil, kidnapping and discrimination bad, yadda yadda, but are we sure the Huntsclan aren't secretly Shonen Protagonists in disguise?
Wasn't Negaduck stuck scrounging up money earlier this turn? Could the reason for that be him spending pretty much everything he's got to purchase St. Canard? Alternatively, could be literally any other Actually Evil faction who decided a city's worth of supercriminals would make a great army.
These are actually really nice to see. Glad they succeeded. Not much to say here.
See, this looks good, and I am dearly hoping that it's purely good and innocent. But at the same time, we know Bill Cultists are afoot, so any group who's first identified by a geometry-based name sets off a few alarm bells.
I have no idea what Disney property this references, but I'm honestly concerned that Doof's fears of a vending machine uprising might have some basis in reality.
It's just candy, they swear! Sucks that Mabel's trapped inside Weirdmaggedon, or she'd be buying the stuff by the truckload.
I really want to take that action to collab with Smarty Mart soon. Look at that, a Stewardship Score of 48! Imagine getting him to work alongside Phineas and Ferb on a couple of summer projects.
Dang, sucks about the coin toss. Eh-hem... Something something vague worries of doom, something something traingles have three sides, something something even more paranoia about what this could be. Did I do it right?
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