- Pronouns
- He/Him
Meanwhile, in our planning chatroom...
Maybe max pulled a syndrome on nega duck? I pray its something like that
DoofQuest- a Disney Villains Victorious CK2-Style Quest
- Thread starter Made in Heaven
- Start date
- Crossover
Maybe max pulled a syndrome on nega duck? I pray its something like that
Lab_Accident
A 2D 1D4
- Location
- Your dreams
Well, judging by the dialogue, it was a specific combination of rolls, and not a sinle one, that triggered the reaction.
I think Doom may have screwed himself over at the same time the Phantom Blot flexed on him, leading him to be publicly unmasked?
Well, that, or our digital frontier is about to get a lot more exciting.
I think Doom may have screwed himself over at the same time the Phantom Blot flexed on him, leading him to be publicly unmasked?
Well, that, or our digital frontier is about to get a lot more exciting.
It seems more like something they weren't accounting for. Like say every roll failing or bill getting a critical success in every action.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Based on how interludes go first, its likely the max interlude
Interlude: The Cold Shadow
- Location
- Pennsylvania
Today was gonna be great. Dennis could feel it.
Working for Doctor Doofenshmirtz was wonderful! He had lots of friends (who could help him find Donald), he got paid well (which went towards more posters to find Donald), and he gained incomprehensible mystical combat techniques (which could, probably, somehow, help with Donald)!
Today, all of these things were coming together. Dennis had been training with a very wise and very powerful master for months now. When several of the other martial artists at DEI had taken notice of his skill, he got into a delightful discussion that led to a general interest in meeting his mentor. One expense request later, and they were all off to New York to meet him in person!
Dennis chatted with the Vagabonds happily as they left the terminal.
"Gee guys, you're gonna love my dojo. It's where I learned to shoot fire out of my hands, create energy bombs, and draw on my inner darkness!"
"Who did you say your instructor was again?" Tobe asked.
"Oh, his name's Qu-" Dennis paused as they walked through the doors. "Heeey. This isn't the airport I usually fly in to."
"Oh don't worry!" Jumong said. "New York has a grid system. We just need to figure out where to find…" he squinted at a nearby sign. "L-A-X street?"
"I didn't know New York had palm trees." Binggure noted.
Tobe let out a hrmm.
"I must say, New York looks strangely similar to Los Angeles, California."
"Guys." Jing-Jing said carefully. "I think we took the wrong plane."
"How can you tell?" Binggure asked.
"FindIt Maps."
"Ahh."
Dennis began to squint, and looked around in mild confusion. Meanwhile, Tobe pulled out his company mandated smartphone and scrolled to contacts.
"Heey. Uh, Marco. We might have accidentally… gone to the wrong airport."
"You mean LaGuardia?" Marco asked.
"…No."
"So where are you right now?"
"Uh… Playa del Rey?"
An audible smack carried through the speaker.
"All right, it's not a big deal, hold on."
The phone hung up, and a few seconds later a swirling portal appeared a few dozen meters away. Marco hopped out of it, looked around, and then hurried over to the exceptionally directionless ninja.
"Wow." Tobe said. "We haven't gotten to the chapter on teleportation yet!"
"C'mon." Marco said. "I can open us a portal back to the Bazaar and then we can get to wherever in New York we need to-"
Dennis grabbed onto Marco's wrist. A moment later the grip became crushing.
"Wh- little guy, what are you-?"
Dennis pointed with his free arm.
"Loooooooook."
Standing across the street, waiting in line in front of a peanut vendor, was a white duck in a long-billed baseball cap and a red and blue Hawaiian floral shirt. He hummed to himself gently, waiting his turn peacefully and minding his own business.
"Uh oh." Tobe said.
"What?" Marco asked. "Am I missing someth-"
There was a boom like a jet plane taking off as, in a burst of wind, Dennis was suddenly not there anymore.
"After him!" Tobe ordered.
"What just happened?!?" Marco asked, breaking into a loping run as he and the four ninja chased after the black and white duck.
---
"Bwa ba baba, da da ba dah…"
The duck took a moment to stretch, lifting his arms up over his head and humming tunelessly. It was a nice day, jobs were going well, and best of all, for once, there was no apparent-
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
Uh oh.
As Dennis bore down on the other duck, he took a second to scream in mortal terror.
"BWAAAAaaAAAaaaAA!"
Then he started running.
"I'd know that scream of primal fear anywhere!" Dennis declared, turning back to his compatriots still rushing after him. "It's Donald!"
Marco panted, trying to keep up. "Who's… Donald?"
Tires screeched as Dennis dug in his heels, spun around, and stared at Marco.
"For shame."
Then he started running again.
The duck ahead of them grimaced as he saw their hot pursuit. He desperately smashed through several food vendors in an attempt to slow them down. Meat, cheese and bread went flying, which Dennis assembled into a triple-decker ham and swiss on rye midair before continuing on.
Still attempting to avoid his ninja pursuers, the duck pulled out a massive golden pistol and fired several black projectiles into the air!
"Why's he shooting at us?" Bingure shouted. As the first bullet approached, he parried it midair by hitting it with a kunai!
"Hey, I did a cool thing!"
The bullet turned back around towards him and popped open, revealing a large beetle with a glowing red trail! The other projectiles did the same, transforming into terrible projectile insects!
"AHH! THESE SHELLS ARE HOT!"
A white-tailed lightning beetle zapped Jumong in the arm!
"OW! Who'd be crazy enough to use invertebrates as live ammo!?"
Jing-Jing swatted a ticking grenade bug into a fountain, causing loose change to shower over the ground!
"Why are we even chasing this guy?" she asked. "Don't we have nameless mooks for this?"
---
In a Khan Air flight somewhere over Ohio, ten full rows of faceless ninja began a spirited 27th round of '99 Bottles of Sake'.
---
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"
The duck continued screaming. Despite running full tilt for the last five minutes, he showed no signs of letting up anytime soon.
"AWWWWW, NAW CHOIWSHE." The still fleeing duck groaned, reaching for something strapped around his neck. A moment later he halted in his tracks.
"AH HAYET DIS PAHWT."
Suddenly the duck started to spin, faster and faster, turning into a formless blur that was impossible to track. And then, in a burst of smoke, the figure- vanished!
Dennis gasped. "That was-!"
"A cheap smoke bomb disguised as actual ninjutsu!" Tobe finished. "I should know, I use them constantly. C'mon. There's only so many places he could be after that stunt.
"Will someone please tell me why we're chasing the duck?!?" Marco asked again.
---
The Cold Shadow panted as he slowly got his bearings. The dumpster was dark and claustrophobic, and he was pretty sure his foot was in a puddle of something indescribable, but it had been a necessary sacrifice to throw off his pursuers.
Though his mind was more focused in this empowered state, he still wondered why they had chased him. Acolytes of his former foes? Loose ends from a case long gone cold? Had he double parked again?
The Shadow shook his head. He could work that out later. Right now, he needed to get back to base and regroup. He patted the black gi that had replaced his floral shirt for a moment; he was sure he'd left a firefly in there somewhe-aha! A moment of fiddling and the bug flickered to life, illuminating the rest of the dumpster. The Shadow peeked out from underneath his focusing blindfold.
"Hhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiii." Dennis said.
The Vagabonds waved from the corner they were scrunched into.
"BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" The Cold Shadow screamed in fear, leaping like a frog and bashing through the roof of the metal bin with nothing but the strength of his mojo-hardened cranium. Flailing in the air for a second, he pulled out a long bo staff and used it to redirect and soften his fall. A moment later he leapt for the fire escape, doing a backflip off the opposite wall and beginning to race across LA's rooftops.
He risked a glance behind him, only to discover each and every one of his pursuers following in near lockstep! How!?! He would have to try something wilier to get them off his tailfeathers.
"LEAF ME ALOWN!" The Shadow yelled.
"No!" Dennis replied.
Darn.
There had to be something he was missing. Some angle he could…
Oh, wait.
The Cold Shadow stopped in his tracks, turning to face the oncoming horde. Caught off guard, they screeched to a halt… directly into the path of his bo staff.
Cold Shadow Martial Check:
77+28+15=120
Vagabond Contest (Marco isn't helping)
72+19+7+17=115
Have a Sandwich Interrupt!
The staff smacked directly into Dennis, leaving an indentation in both his face and the footlong hero he was holding.
Cold Shadow Martial Check (again!)
92+28+15=135
Vagabond Contest:
57+19+7+17=100
Success!
Tobe grinned. "I can see you are a master of the art!" he declared. "Truly, we shall engage in a fight for the ages! I have waited for this day for-"
The Shadow smacked Tobe in the face with his staff.
"For-"
He smacked him again.
"F-"
In a flurry of movement, The Shadow spun his staff in a wide arc, knocking the three remaining Vagabonds off their feet.
Pausing, the Shadow looked up at Marco.
"Hey dude uh, they still won't tell me why we're chasing you, so…"
Marco shrugged.
The Cold Shadow looked at him for a moment, then hooked his staff into a nearby streetlamp and propelled himself away.
"Did anybody get the plates off that rickshaw?" Binggure asked as he and his compatriots came to.
"No time for that!" Dennis declared, pulling the sandwich out of the depression in his face. "We gotta go before the trail runs cold!"
Cold Shadow Intrigue Check:
22+37=59
Vagabond Intrigue Check:
100+99(Reroll)+45(Joking Around Reroll)+24+7-1=274
Unprecedented Critical Success!
A light went on behind Dennis' eyes. "He's not getting away from me this time."
---
The Cold Shadow trudged wearily into the backdoor of the Voodoo Avenue shopfront. It was your run-of-the-mill New Age Pan-Polynesian surf shack on one level of perception, but the carved surfboards were tributes to forgotten gods and the entryways were marked with yin yang symbols to prevent the hinges from creaking. The candlelit shop was home away from home, and served to make ends meet when his detective cases ran dry.
Which was often. It's like they've never heard of private detective ninjas before.
He sighed. It had taken him an hour of straight running to shake his pursuers off. All he wanted was a nice cold glass of fruit punch, a rest in his chair, and- They were standing right in front of him.
He couldn't work up the energy to scream.
"Aha!" Tobe declared. "There you are, infamous ninja Cold Shadow! Or should I say dazzling ducktective Maui Mallard?!? Or should I say 'Or should I say, famed cartoon star Donald Duck!"
"Wak?"
"You left your advertising pamphlets on the counter." Jing-Jing supplied.
Dennis slowly stumbled forwards, eyes and mouth larger than the rest of his head combined. Slowly, he reached out and brushed the side of the other duck's down.
Cold Shadow shuddered, pulling out his staff with intent to push the little duck away from him. However, at that exact moment a small spark and spluttering cough came out of the yin-yang talisman around his neck! His body spun in place, rapidly picking up speed as the inky black of his gi sank away and his outfit reverted to its Hawaiian deadbeat default.
"Awh phooey." He said. "Maw niwnjuhtzoo rawn out."
"You should really conserve that." Tobe said. After a beat, he added "It comes back, right?"
After a moment, Dennis began to cling onto his leg.
"Pwease let me gow."
"I… I can't."
"He's a really big fan of yours, Mr. Donald." Binggure explained.
"Aw'm nawt Donald!" Maui shouted as he tried to shake Dennis off his leg.
"My faith in you is unshakeable!"
Maui shook harder. He slammed his leg and Dennis into a surfboard idol, causing them both to fall to the ground in a dust cloud of violence!
"Unshakable!"
"Waak!"
The dueling ducks rampaged through the store, knocking various little gods out of their pantheons and throwing several charm racks to the ground. Their dust cloud ended at the feet of a fat guardian duck statue made out of stone.
"Wood jwou get awffa me yoo lawta--!"
"I'MSOSORRYI'MJUSTSOEXCITEDEVERYONESADIYOUWEREDEADBUTIDIDN'TLISTEN--"
"AW'M NAWT DONALD!" Maui screamed. "AW'M MAUI MALLARD!"
The candles that lit the store went out as the stone statue's eyes began to glow a deep red. Opaque purple mist spread from the base of the statue and clung to the ground.
"WHO DARES DISTURB THE TRANQUILITY OF SHABUHM SHABUHM?"
The two ducks looked at each other.
"He did it!" they shouted simultaneously.
Smoke shot out of the statue's nostrils as it's voice bellowed out.
"THE SENTENCE FOR MESSING UP MY STORE IS…"
Marco rolled his eyes, turned around, and walked out the front door.
"Okay, I'm waiting outside."
"CLEANING IT!! IF YOU BREAK IT, YOU BUY IT!! ALL SALES FINAL!!"
As the Donald lookalike and Dennis scrambled on top of each other to grab brooms and clear the yin yang coins off the floor, a brunette duck woman with opera gloves and a floral skirt walked into view from behind the statue. She was holding a tiki charm in one hand and an AV remote in another.
"Works every time," she said cooly.
"Who are you?" Jing-Jing asked.
"Hernae. High priestess of Shabuhm Shabuhm and owner of the store."
"We may have jumped recklessly into an unfamiliar situation." Tobe said.
"YOU THINK?" Marco shouted from outside.
"Allow me to explain." Hernae said as she opened up the stone guardian and took out a jug of tropical punch.
"So that isn't a god?" Jumong asked.
Hernae's voice suddenly hardened as her gloves and hair crackled with lightning. "It is sacred. There will be a terrible reckoning if you defile it." Her voice returned to normal. "Drinks?"
The Vagabond Ninja accepted the drinks without further complaint.
"Ah. There. How familiar are you all with the cosmic forces of fate and fortune?"
"Very familiar!" Tobe exclaimed with pride. "The power of a fortune cookie led us to where we are today!"
One of the room's many tiki idols coughed.
"The simple version, then. The duck you believe to be the actor Donald Duck and I are visitors from a parallel dimension."
"You mean like the one with the cats that have human faces?" Tobe inquired.
"Never bring that up again. No, we are from a parallel dimension. Similar to this one, but with slight differences. Such as the way the winds blow, the direction of ley lines, or individuals living different lives under different identities."
Dennis stopped sweeping.
"So the Donald I found… isn't Donald? Why didn't you say so?"
Maui dropped his broom.
"Dat's what Aw've been tahling yooooo!"
"What brought you all the way from a parallel world?" Jumong asked.
"We were whisked here without warning. As to the cause, I am still consulting the gumbo."
Before Hernae could continue, a muffled explosion that smelled like death and pineapples boomed from the back room.
"Ah. Please excuse me." Hernae said. "The ongoing mana typhoon appears to have ruined my divining dish. I need to restock on zombie powder."
"Wh… why do you need that?" Binggure asked nervously.
"Preservative."
Hernae ducked out again before anyone could respond.
Jumong and Binggure quietly dragged the rest of the Vagabonds behind the vast, refrigerator-shaped idol.
"All right look so you just…"
"I gotcha I gotcha-"
"Let me do the scary voice part I never get to!"
After a moment the whispering died away and the room began to fill with smoke again.
"MAUI MALLARD."
"Wak!" Maui blurted, fumbling his broom and nearly knocking down an entire shelf of knick knacks.
"YOU ARE MY CHOSEN CHAMPION."
"I awm?"
"AND YET!" The two idiots behind the tiki god continued. "THESE BRILLIANT, TALENTED, ATTRACTIVE, AND POPULAR NINJA-"
"And a duck." Jing-Jing whispered.
"AND A DUCK." 'Shabum-Shabum' added halfheartedly. "HAVE MANAGED TO RUN CIRCLES AROUND YOU! I DECLARE THAT THESE ELUSIVE SHADOWS OFFICIALLY HAVE MY FAVOR!"
Thunder rumbled and bolts of lightning scorched tiny burn marks in the floor.
"I COMMAND THAT YOU GRANT THEM YOUR GREATEST NINJA TREASURE!"
"Naaawoooo!" Maui cried. "Nawt maw Ying-Yawng Awmulewt!"
"UGH, FINE THEN." The statue replied. "GIVE US-I MEAN THEM! GIVE THEM YOUR SECOND GREATEST NINJA TREASURE. BUT BE QUICK ABOUT IT!"
As Maui rushed through the room, searching for an acceptable offering, The ninja congratulated themselves.
"Another successful deception from the most cunning and original ninja in all the land!" Tobe declared.
"Nice work with the lightning, Jumong." Jing-Jing said.
"...I thought that was you."
"Heaw!" Maui said, holding up a small, battered black hardcover. "Tha tawm avw aww owr knawledge!"
Dennis and the Ninja crowded around and glanced at the cover.
The Mad Mojo Cookbook.
"Gee thanks!" Binggure said, taking the combination spellbook/cookbook/ninjabook from his hands. "It just goes to show you the value of hard work and honesty."
Slowly, and this time without jumping, Dennis stepped up to the duck ninja. "Uh… Mr. Mallard?"
"Wa?"
"I… I know you're not Donald. B-but… you're really cool! An, an you're sorta Donald, and, well… I was wondering if you might be willing to sometimes maybe… train me?"
"DID SOMEONE SAY TRAINING?!?" Tobe asked, physically inserting himself into the conversation.
Maui sighed. "Yoore nawt gunna leaf me alowne untawkl ah doo, riwght?"
"I'll pay for it!"
Maui slouched and allowed his eyelids to fall over his eyes. "Awl riwght, Awl riwght."
Dennis smiled from ear to ear and gave Maui an enormous hug.
"Wak! Too tigwt! Too tigwt!"
---
Dennis and The Vagabonds have both found a ninja master in Maui Mallard! New personal actions unlocked!
Dennis's old master has parted ways with him! According to Dennis this was a very cordial affair, and he even said he'd keep an eye on his progress in the future!
Tobe's Intrigue has increased by 1! Tobe's Martial has increased by 1! Dennis's Martial has increased by 2! Dennis's Intrigue has increased by 10! This was incredibly unlikely!
Marco didn't get much training in, but he's developed an odd synergy with the Vagabonds due to his extensive experience coping with Bad Decision Fountains! If he and Tobe are ever placed on the same Quest team, the malus from 'Our Battle WIll Be Legendary' will be negated!
Dennis found a Donald! His loyalty has increased by 15!
Dennis's new ninja master is working very closely with Hernae, the Kahuna Supreme! She may be interested in taking a job in the future, provided you can establish good relations with her.
Working for Doctor Doofenshmirtz was wonderful! He had lots of friends (who could help him find Donald), he got paid well (which went towards more posters to find Donald), and he gained incomprehensible mystical combat techniques (which could, probably, somehow, help with Donald)!
Today, all of these things were coming together. Dennis had been training with a very wise and very powerful master for months now. When several of the other martial artists at DEI had taken notice of his skill, he got into a delightful discussion that led to a general interest in meeting his mentor. One expense request later, and they were all off to New York to meet him in person!
Dennis chatted with the Vagabonds happily as they left the terminal.
"Gee guys, you're gonna love my dojo. It's where I learned to shoot fire out of my hands, create energy bombs, and draw on my inner darkness!"
"Who did you say your instructor was again?" Tobe asked.
"Oh, his name's Qu-" Dennis paused as they walked through the doors. "Heeey. This isn't the airport I usually fly in to."
"Oh don't worry!" Jumong said. "New York has a grid system. We just need to figure out where to find…" he squinted at a nearby sign. "L-A-X street?"
"I didn't know New York had palm trees." Binggure noted.
Tobe let out a hrmm.
"I must say, New York looks strangely similar to Los Angeles, California."
"Guys." Jing-Jing said carefully. "I think we took the wrong plane."
"How can you tell?" Binggure asked.
"FindIt Maps."
"Ahh."
Dennis began to squint, and looked around in mild confusion. Meanwhile, Tobe pulled out his company mandated smartphone and scrolled to contacts.
"Heey. Uh, Marco. We might have accidentally… gone to the wrong airport."
"You mean LaGuardia?" Marco asked.
"…No."
"So where are you right now?"
"Uh… Playa del Rey?"
An audible smack carried through the speaker.
"All right, it's not a big deal, hold on."
The phone hung up, and a few seconds later a swirling portal appeared a few dozen meters away. Marco hopped out of it, looked around, and then hurried over to the exceptionally directionless ninja.
"Wow." Tobe said. "We haven't gotten to the chapter on teleportation yet!"
"C'mon." Marco said. "I can open us a portal back to the Bazaar and then we can get to wherever in New York we need to-"
Dennis grabbed onto Marco's wrist. A moment later the grip became crushing.
"Wh- little guy, what are you-?"
Dennis pointed with his free arm.
"Loooooooook."
Standing across the street, waiting in line in front of a peanut vendor, was a white duck in a long-billed baseball cap and a red and blue Hawaiian floral shirt. He hummed to himself gently, waiting his turn peacefully and minding his own business.
"Uh oh." Tobe said.
"What?" Marco asked. "Am I missing someth-"
There was a boom like a jet plane taking off as, in a burst of wind, Dennis was suddenly not there anymore.
"After him!" Tobe ordered.
"What just happened?!?" Marco asked, breaking into a loping run as he and the four ninja chased after the black and white duck.
---
"Bwa ba baba, da da ba dah…"
The duck took a moment to stretch, lifting his arms up over his head and humming tunelessly. It was a nice day, jobs were going well, and best of all, for once, there was no apparent-
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
Uh oh.
As Dennis bore down on the other duck, he took a second to scream in mortal terror.
"BWAAAAaaAAAaaaAA!"
Then he started running.
"I'd know that scream of primal fear anywhere!" Dennis declared, turning back to his compatriots still rushing after him. "It's Donald!"
Marco panted, trying to keep up. "Who's… Donald?"
Tires screeched as Dennis dug in his heels, spun around, and stared at Marco.
"For shame."
Then he started running again.
The duck ahead of them grimaced as he saw their hot pursuit. He desperately smashed through several food vendors in an attempt to slow them down. Meat, cheese and bread went flying, which Dennis assembled into a triple-decker ham and swiss on rye midair before continuing on.
Still attempting to avoid his ninja pursuers, the duck pulled out a massive golden pistol and fired several black projectiles into the air!
"Why's he shooting at us?" Bingure shouted. As the first bullet approached, he parried it midair by hitting it with a kunai!
"Hey, I did a cool thing!"
The bullet turned back around towards him and popped open, revealing a large beetle with a glowing red trail! The other projectiles did the same, transforming into terrible projectile insects!
"AHH! THESE SHELLS ARE HOT!"
A white-tailed lightning beetle zapped Jumong in the arm!
"OW! Who'd be crazy enough to use invertebrates as live ammo!?"
Jing-Jing swatted a ticking grenade bug into a fountain, causing loose change to shower over the ground!
"Why are we even chasing this guy?" she asked. "Don't we have nameless mooks for this?"
---
In a Khan Air flight somewhere over Ohio, ten full rows of faceless ninja began a spirited 27th round of '99 Bottles of Sake'.
---
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"
The duck continued screaming. Despite running full tilt for the last five minutes, he showed no signs of letting up anytime soon.
"AWWWWW, NAW CHOIWSHE." The still fleeing duck groaned, reaching for something strapped around his neck. A moment later he halted in his tracks.
"AH HAYET DIS PAHWT."
Suddenly the duck started to spin, faster and faster, turning into a formless blur that was impossible to track. And then, in a burst of smoke, the figure- vanished!
Dennis gasped. "That was-!"
"A cheap smoke bomb disguised as actual ninjutsu!" Tobe finished. "I should know, I use them constantly. C'mon. There's only so many places he could be after that stunt.
"Will someone please tell me why we're chasing the duck?!?" Marco asked again.
---
The Cold Shadow panted as he slowly got his bearings. The dumpster was dark and claustrophobic, and he was pretty sure his foot was in a puddle of something indescribable, but it had been a necessary sacrifice to throw off his pursuers.
Though his mind was more focused in this empowered state, he still wondered why they had chased him. Acolytes of his former foes? Loose ends from a case long gone cold? Had he double parked again?
The Shadow shook his head. He could work that out later. Right now, he needed to get back to base and regroup. He patted the black gi that had replaced his floral shirt for a moment; he was sure he'd left a firefly in there somewhe-aha! A moment of fiddling and the bug flickered to life, illuminating the rest of the dumpster. The Shadow peeked out from underneath his focusing blindfold.
"Hhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiii." Dennis said.
The Vagabonds waved from the corner they were scrunched into.
"BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" The Cold Shadow screamed in fear, leaping like a frog and bashing through the roof of the metal bin with nothing but the strength of his mojo-hardened cranium. Flailing in the air for a second, he pulled out a long bo staff and used it to redirect and soften his fall. A moment later he leapt for the fire escape, doing a backflip off the opposite wall and beginning to race across LA's rooftops.
He risked a glance behind him, only to discover each and every one of his pursuers following in near lockstep! How!?! He would have to try something wilier to get them off his tailfeathers.
"LEAF ME ALOWN!" The Shadow yelled.
"No!" Dennis replied.
Darn.
There had to be something he was missing. Some angle he could…
Oh, wait.
The Cold Shadow stopped in his tracks, turning to face the oncoming horde. Caught off guard, they screeched to a halt… directly into the path of his bo staff.
Cold Shadow Martial Check:
77+28+15=120
Vagabond Contest (Marco isn't helping)
72+19+7+17=115
Have a Sandwich Interrupt!
The staff smacked directly into Dennis, leaving an indentation in both his face and the footlong hero he was holding.
Cold Shadow Martial Check (again!)
92+28+15=135
Vagabond Contest:
57+19+7+17=100
Success!
Tobe grinned. "I can see you are a master of the art!" he declared. "Truly, we shall engage in a fight for the ages! I have waited for this day for-"
The Shadow smacked Tobe in the face with his staff.
"For-"
He smacked him again.
"F-"
In a flurry of movement, The Shadow spun his staff in a wide arc, knocking the three remaining Vagabonds off their feet.
Pausing, the Shadow looked up at Marco.
"Hey dude uh, they still won't tell me why we're chasing you, so…"
Marco shrugged.
The Cold Shadow looked at him for a moment, then hooked his staff into a nearby streetlamp and propelled himself away.
"Did anybody get the plates off that rickshaw?" Binggure asked as he and his compatriots came to.
"No time for that!" Dennis declared, pulling the sandwich out of the depression in his face. "We gotta go before the trail runs cold!"
Cold Shadow Intrigue Check:
22+37=59
Vagabond Intrigue Check:
100+99(Reroll)+45(Joking Around Reroll)+24+7-1=274
Unprecedented Critical Success!
A light went on behind Dennis' eyes. "He's not getting away from me this time."
---
The Cold Shadow trudged wearily into the backdoor of the Voodoo Avenue shopfront. It was your run-of-the-mill New Age Pan-Polynesian surf shack on one level of perception, but the carved surfboards were tributes to forgotten gods and the entryways were marked with yin yang symbols to prevent the hinges from creaking. The candlelit shop was home away from home, and served to make ends meet when his detective cases ran dry.
Which was often. It's like they've never heard of private detective ninjas before.
He sighed. It had taken him an hour of straight running to shake his pursuers off. All he wanted was a nice cold glass of fruit punch, a rest in his chair, and- They were standing right in front of him.
He couldn't work up the energy to scream.
"Aha!" Tobe declared. "There you are, infamous ninja Cold Shadow! Or should I say dazzling ducktective Maui Mallard?!? Or should I say 'Or should I say, famed cartoon star Donald Duck!"
"Wak?"
"You left your advertising pamphlets on the counter." Jing-Jing supplied.
Dennis slowly stumbled forwards, eyes and mouth larger than the rest of his head combined. Slowly, he reached out and brushed the side of the other duck's down.
Cold Shadow shuddered, pulling out his staff with intent to push the little duck away from him. However, at that exact moment a small spark and spluttering cough came out of the yin-yang talisman around his neck! His body spun in place, rapidly picking up speed as the inky black of his gi sank away and his outfit reverted to its Hawaiian deadbeat default.
"Awh phooey." He said. "Maw niwnjuhtzoo rawn out."
"You should really conserve that." Tobe said. After a beat, he added "It comes back, right?"
After a moment, Dennis began to cling onto his leg.
"Pwease let me gow."
"I… I can't."
"He's a really big fan of yours, Mr. Donald." Binggure explained.
"Aw'm nawt Donald!" Maui shouted as he tried to shake Dennis off his leg.
"My faith in you is unshakeable!"
Maui shook harder. He slammed his leg and Dennis into a surfboard idol, causing them both to fall to the ground in a dust cloud of violence!
"Unshakable!"
"Waak!"
The dueling ducks rampaged through the store, knocking various little gods out of their pantheons and throwing several charm racks to the ground. Their dust cloud ended at the feet of a fat guardian duck statue made out of stone.
"Wood jwou get awffa me yoo lawta--!"
"I'MSOSORRYI'MJUSTSOEXCITEDEVERYONESADIYOUWEREDEADBUTIDIDN'TLISTEN--"
"AW'M NAWT DONALD!" Maui screamed. "AW'M MAUI MALLARD!"
The candles that lit the store went out as the stone statue's eyes began to glow a deep red. Opaque purple mist spread from the base of the statue and clung to the ground.
"WHO DARES DISTURB THE TRANQUILITY OF SHABUHM SHABUHM?"
The two ducks looked at each other.
"He did it!" they shouted simultaneously.
Smoke shot out of the statue's nostrils as it's voice bellowed out.
"THE SENTENCE FOR MESSING UP MY STORE IS…"
Marco rolled his eyes, turned around, and walked out the front door.
"Okay, I'm waiting outside."
"CLEANING IT!! IF YOU BREAK IT, YOU BUY IT!! ALL SALES FINAL!!"
As the Donald lookalike and Dennis scrambled on top of each other to grab brooms and clear the yin yang coins off the floor, a brunette duck woman with opera gloves and a floral skirt walked into view from behind the statue. She was holding a tiki charm in one hand and an AV remote in another.
"Works every time," she said cooly.
"Who are you?" Jing-Jing asked.
"Hernae. High priestess of Shabuhm Shabuhm and owner of the store."
"We may have jumped recklessly into an unfamiliar situation." Tobe said.
"YOU THINK?" Marco shouted from outside.
"Allow me to explain." Hernae said as she opened up the stone guardian and took out a jug of tropical punch.
"So that isn't a god?" Jumong asked.
Hernae's voice suddenly hardened as her gloves and hair crackled with lightning. "It is sacred. There will be a terrible reckoning if you defile it." Her voice returned to normal. "Drinks?"
The Vagabond Ninja accepted the drinks without further complaint.
"Ah. There. How familiar are you all with the cosmic forces of fate and fortune?"
"Very familiar!" Tobe exclaimed with pride. "The power of a fortune cookie led us to where we are today!"
One of the room's many tiki idols coughed.
"The simple version, then. The duck you believe to be the actor Donald Duck and I are visitors from a parallel dimension."
"You mean like the one with the cats that have human faces?" Tobe inquired.
"Never bring that up again. No, we are from a parallel dimension. Similar to this one, but with slight differences. Such as the way the winds blow, the direction of ley lines, or individuals living different lives under different identities."
Dennis stopped sweeping.
"So the Donald I found… isn't Donald? Why didn't you say so?"
Maui dropped his broom.
"Dat's what Aw've been tahling yooooo!"
"What brought you all the way from a parallel world?" Jumong asked.
"We were whisked here without warning. As to the cause, I am still consulting the gumbo."
Before Hernae could continue, a muffled explosion that smelled like death and pineapples boomed from the back room.
"Ah. Please excuse me." Hernae said. "The ongoing mana typhoon appears to have ruined my divining dish. I need to restock on zombie powder."
"Wh… why do you need that?" Binggure asked nervously.
"Preservative."
Hernae ducked out again before anyone could respond.
Jumong and Binggure quietly dragged the rest of the Vagabonds behind the vast, refrigerator-shaped idol.
"All right look so you just…"
"I gotcha I gotcha-"
"Let me do the scary voice part I never get to!"
After a moment the whispering died away and the room began to fill with smoke again.
"MAUI MALLARD."
"Wak!" Maui blurted, fumbling his broom and nearly knocking down an entire shelf of knick knacks.
"YOU ARE MY CHOSEN CHAMPION."
"I awm?"
"AND YET!" The two idiots behind the tiki god continued. "THESE BRILLIANT, TALENTED, ATTRACTIVE, AND POPULAR NINJA-"
"And a duck." Jing-Jing whispered.
"AND A DUCK." 'Shabum-Shabum' added halfheartedly. "HAVE MANAGED TO RUN CIRCLES AROUND YOU! I DECLARE THAT THESE ELUSIVE SHADOWS OFFICIALLY HAVE MY FAVOR!"
Thunder rumbled and bolts of lightning scorched tiny burn marks in the floor.
"I COMMAND THAT YOU GRANT THEM YOUR GREATEST NINJA TREASURE!"
"Naaawoooo!" Maui cried. "Nawt maw Ying-Yawng Awmulewt!"
"UGH, FINE THEN." The statue replied. "GIVE US-I MEAN THEM! GIVE THEM YOUR SECOND GREATEST NINJA TREASURE. BUT BE QUICK ABOUT IT!"
As Maui rushed through the room, searching for an acceptable offering, The ninja congratulated themselves.
"Another successful deception from the most cunning and original ninja in all the land!" Tobe declared.
"Nice work with the lightning, Jumong." Jing-Jing said.
"...I thought that was you."
"Heaw!" Maui said, holding up a small, battered black hardcover. "Tha tawm avw aww owr knawledge!"
Dennis and the Ninja crowded around and glanced at the cover.
The Mad Mojo Cookbook.
"Gee thanks!" Binggure said, taking the combination spellbook/cookbook/ninjabook from his hands. "It just goes to show you the value of hard work and honesty."
Slowly, and this time without jumping, Dennis stepped up to the duck ninja. "Uh… Mr. Mallard?"
"Wa?"
"I… I know you're not Donald. B-but… you're really cool! An, an you're sorta Donald, and, well… I was wondering if you might be willing to sometimes maybe… train me?"
"DID SOMEONE SAY TRAINING?!?" Tobe asked, physically inserting himself into the conversation.
Maui sighed. "Yoore nawt gunna leaf me alowne untawkl ah doo, riwght?"
"I'll pay for it!"
Maui slouched and allowed his eyelids to fall over his eyes. "Awl riwght, Awl riwght."
Dennis smiled from ear to ear and gave Maui an enormous hug.
"Wak! Too tigwt! Too tigwt!"
---
Dennis and The Vagabonds have both found a ninja master in Maui Mallard! New personal actions unlocked!
Dennis's old master has parted ways with him! According to Dennis this was a very cordial affair, and he even said he'd keep an eye on his progress in the future!
Tobe's Intrigue has increased by 1! Tobe's Martial has increased by 1! Dennis's Martial has increased by 2! Dennis's Intrigue has increased by 10! This was incredibly unlikely!
Marco didn't get much training in, but he's developed an odd synergy with the Vagabonds due to his extensive experience coping with Bad Decision Fountains! If he and Tobe are ever placed on the same Quest team, the malus from 'Our Battle WIll Be Legendary' will be negated!
Dennis found a Donald! His loyalty has increased by 15!
Dennis's new ninja master is working very closely with Hernae, the Kahuna Supreme! She may be interested in taking a job in the future, provided you can establish good relations with her.
Maui, slowly and fearfully, slipped into Hernae's inner sanctum/kitchen.
"Maui." Hernae said without looking up from her pot. "Why do you look guilty?"
The duck gulped. "Bekawse… bekawse Shawbom Shawbom told me taw givf theam yoour cookbook."
"You did what?!?" She spun around, crackling with lightning.
As Maui cowered, however, the gumbo in the pot began to swirl and clear. Hernae turned around curiously, just in time to see its message sent from the gods above.
No. It read. Let them have this one.
"Maui." Hernae said without looking up from her pot. "Why do you look guilty?"
The duck gulped. "Bekawse… bekawse Shawbom Shawbom told me taw givf theam yoour cookbook."
"You did what?!?" She spun around, crackling with lightning.
As Maui cowered, however, the gumbo in the pot began to swirl and clear. Hernae turned around curiously, just in time to see its message sent from the gods above.
No. It read. Let them have this one.
- Location
- Florida
Huh. Neat.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
TOBE! ARE YOU HIDING FROM LADY LUCK HERSELF?
ReaperofInterest
Herald of Disaster
...let's hope the Nat 100 and 99 were what the GMs were freaking out about. In a side note, hey, we just got a copy of that magic cookbook for free! Awesome!
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Bwahahahahaha. This is perfect. The odds on that...
- Location
- California, United States
Weredrago used Maui in a previous game, so I smiled very large.
mangawriter77
Otaku^9000 (In my own opinion)
- Location
- You'll neeever guess
- Pronouns
- He/Him/His
Wow. We got an item we wanted so long ago, some increased stats, a few personals, and we've negated Dennis' loyalty malus for the whole Drusselstein fiasco as well as taken his intrigue out of the negatives. Dennis must have been blessed by someone
KnightofTempest
The Man who would be King
- Location
- Chicago
Lol Maui Mallard in the Cold Shadow. . .
Man that takes me back. . .
Man that takes me back. . .
ReaperofInterest
Herald of Disaster
I guess it's true. Fortune really does smile on kids and fools, because there's no other way we could have gotten this outcome.
- Location
- Attempting to cast animate object on a black hole.
This one's likely annotated as well, or at least the latest edition!
- Location
- Who knows?
Hahaha oh Marco. Well this trip ought to result in less wallet stealing and hypnotism.
- Location
- Texas
Tobe's luck has be amazing so far. It's going to hard for the others to believe he was a loser back home.
KnightofTempest
The Man who would be King
- Location
- Chicago
Honestly, I kinda want Tobe to develop a trait that activates on Crits at this rate. . .
- Location
- The City of Tears, Hallownest
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Vagabond Intrigue Check:
100+99(Reroll)+45(Joking Around Reroll)+24+7-1=274
Unprecedented Critical Success!
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH I was laughing my ass off this entire update. My god, these fools, they actually did it. Well done kids.
100+99(Reroll)+45(Joking Around Reroll)+24+7-1=274
Unprecedented Critical Success!
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH I was laughing my ass off this entire update. My god, these fools, they actually did it. Well done kids.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
He was blessed by the great and merciful tobe. Its so clear, Tobe will be our secret weapon against bill!
So when do we get a name about the old master?
- Location
- USA
"Dennis and The Vagabonds have both found a ninja master in Maui Mallard! New personal actions unlocked!"