[X] Action Plan: Answering Asuma, Soothing Snakes
Looking at the plan as it is, I think I would recommend going into the <400 wordcount range. I commend your wordcount optimizations but they're edging into the 'difficult to read' territory that the QMs dislike, and at the same time I can't imagine cutting much content from this plan so imo the only thing left to do is bite the bullet and spend 1 XP to get our thoughts out better. It's an important plan in more ways than one, after all.
A few other comments from my read-through:
Dragons: we lack lore, need to maximize firepower.
What exactly is this saying? It's true as a general principle, but I can't tell if it's trying to say anything specific or not.
Tell Orochimaru everything we know about 3D sealing?
Personally I would phrase this as "Fully cooperate with Orochimaru on 3D Sealing?" This better encapsulates the sharing of anticipated future information instead of just what little we already know. (It also saves a word, too!)
Offer Mareo citizenship, an ANBU escort to Leaf?
While this does strike me as a thing we want that is also not really a power grab, does it have any relation to the Dragons? If so, that should probably be made clear to Asuma.
Information/expertise from other AMITY signatories/summoners?
I know that you don't want to brazenly bring up cooperation with Akatsuki, but I think this is a little too oblique. You don't need to mention them by name, but I think it's still important that we convey something along the lines of "we need as many summoners on board as we can get."
Have Noburi handle Tsunade.
Is there nothing we can do here? We know that this is a critical time for Noburi and that helping on this might hinder his chances with Tsunade. If there's anything we can do to support him here we should.
- Send a letter clarifying scale (1:3? 1:1?) and requesting raw materials. Offer to excavate and transport (wood frame, rollers) existing model - faster, no need to involve Tsunade.
- Request privacy during construction: he's terrifying. Must concentrate. Bring notes, sketches, references, use while shaping.
So, an intuition I have with Orochimaru's request here is that he already knows that we have something special letting us make accurate replicas: if it was just a matter of notes and sketches, Orochimaru could have done it himself. Bringing sketches and such with us is basically a message saying "I am pretending I do not have this special thing", which
could get Orochimaru to just shrug and let the kid have his secrets as long as the job gets done, or it might vaguely offend him that we're telling such an obvious lie.
I think, personally, that if we get raw materials and then privacy that's about as much as we can manage in terms of OPSEC. He knows that we have a special thing that allows this, he knows that we need raw materials and time to do it, but we show him nothing of the actual procedure so he's left no better-informed than he was yesterday. Hopefully. There might be something else we can do to increase OPSEC but it's probably not sketches and references.
Also, Orochimaru has expressed direct disdain for the existing replica (which, granted, was made not-to-scale and at a lower skill level) in the past and I think we can safely assume he won't be satisfied with it here. Unless this is, idk, performative reluctance to frame the tone of the encounter, I don't see the value in it.
Pre/post, discuss his 3D sealing theories. Express (mutual) awe of 3D sealing. Discuss dragonslaying ideas/general approaches.
Loosely feel like this should contain some sort of 'only if he's interested, withdraw if you irritate him', but also loosely feel like that'd be blatantly obvious to Hazoupilot. Not sure if anything needs to change, just felt a need to bring it up.
