Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

"Greetings, Dog Summoner."

Kumafuwafuwa, Leader of the Bear Clan, was a monster from legend. Ten feet tall while standing on all fours. Legs thicker than some trees. Claws half the length of Hazō's forearms. When he walked, he left pawprints deep enough to trip on, which smoothed themselves away within seconds so that he left no trace. More importantly, he somehow moved through thick underbrush without disturbing a leaf or making a sound. If you were in his forest and he wanted you dead, you would never hear him coming.

Hazō bowed deeply. "Greetings, Lord Kumafuwafuwa. Thank you for honoring me with your presence."

Kumafuwafuwa rumbled, the sound so deep Hazō could feel it in his chest. He wasn't sure if it was thoughtful, or threatening, or what. Tiny sparkles of fear danced across Hazō's nape at the uncertainty.

"Mareo has agreed to see you."

Excitement surged in Hazō's heart. He hadn't been sure. Cannai had told him that Hagino Mareo, the Bear Summoner, was tentatively interested in a meeting and that Kumafuwafuwa had agreed to allow it provided he had the chance to vet Hazō first. Cannai had also told him something else that made Hazō seriously consider not taking the meeting.

"Cannai told you that your travel between Paths has been blocked?" The words could have been curious, or verifying, or many other things that lacked any trace of threat. They were none of those things.

"Yes, My Lord. Until I see him again or until sunrise tomorrow." Given that it was still a bit shy of noon, that would be a long time to be on the run if the Bear Lord took objection to Hazō's continued existence.

"Mareo has been my friend for decades. I wish to be very clear about this: if you so much as raise a hand to him, I will kill you before you can blink. Asking Cannai to block your travel wasn't necessary, it was merely to impress upon you the seriousness of this situation."

"I understand, My Lord."

"That includes in self defense. If things come to blows, I expect you to flee without striking back. Dodge him and run. Do not touch him or raise weapon or chakra against him."

Hazō swallowed nervously. "Understood, My Lord. May I ask...are things likely to come to blows?"

The massive bear hesitated and looked away. It was hard to read emotion on a non-human face, but the way his head had lowered and his ears drooped seemed almost...sad? Embarrassed?

"Time is a thief for humans," Kumafuwafuwa said. "It steals your strength, steals your memories. Mareo is old, and time has stolen much from him. There are days where he is the brilliant and funny friend that I met over sixty years ago. There are days when he is...not. When he doesn't know me, and seeks to make contract once again. This morning was a good day, but it can turn without warning. When it does, he will be confused and afraid."

Revulsion flushed through Hazō's body, followed instantly by shame and guilt. It was instinctive, an animal's desire to back away from a sick fellow lest the problem be catching, lest Hagino's incapacity infect Hazō himself. Rationally, he knew that wasn't how it worked. 'Wandering wits' they called it, and it happened to many people. It was a natural part of aging, much like the loss of weight, loss of strength, the sagging of skin and the spreading of liver spots. That made it no less disturbing.

"I will be careful," was all he said.

Kumafuwafuwa studied him for a moment, his tiny, deepset eyes showing nothing that Hazō could read. Finally he grunted and turned, leading Hazō deeper into the forest.

They emerged into a small clearing, a meadow atop a low hill that gave a view out over the trees. The grasses were knee high, their heads a switch of bright golden fuzz and their stalks a green so pale it was almost yellow. The scent of pollen and grass and sunlight washed the area, but Hazō had eyes only for the man who gamboled at the crest of the hill.

He was the oldest person Hazō had ever seen. He was bald as a newborn and had skin the brown of wet clay. His hands were gnarled roots, joints swollen with the years. His movements were stiff but he still galloped and flapped his arms like a child. After twenty steps he spun around, head tilted to the sky, arms still flapping as he crowed like a rooster. He lurched but caught himself with the cane that had been looped over his shoulder.

"You're sure this is a good day?" Hazō asked out of the corner of his mouth.

"I am."

"Ohhhkay then." He cleared his throat and raised his voice. "Hello? Summoner Hagino?"

Hagino stopped and spun around, one arm lashing out with pointing finger. "Aha! Trying to sneak up on me, eh?!"

Hazō had tensed up at the pointing finger, ready to Substitute away, but he relaxed at the words. They were...playful?

"No, sir. We had an appointment."

"We did?" He frowned a magnificent frown, a frown that would have played well to the back row of any theater in the Elemental Nations, and then he strode down the hill, his cane a third leg no less stiff than the other two. "Why so we did! You're that Gookettle brat! You work with the Kitties, right?"

"The Dogs, sir. And it's Gōketsu." Hazō advanced cautiously up the hill to meet the older man.

"That's what I said." He reached Hazō and clapped him on the shoulder; Hazō barely caught himself before leaping back. "Hah! Made ya flinch!"

Hazō took a breath and tried to calm his racing heart. "Yes sir. It's an honor to meet you."

"It sure is, boy. It sure is. Come on, come on. Join me up here where it's warm." He took Hazō by the arm and tugged him up the hill. "Come, come. It's lovely up there."

The crest of the hill was only fifty feet away, so Hazō had trouble seeing how it could be substantially warmer than where they stood. Still. He followed the older man, struggling with every step to conceal how much his skin was crawling at being touched by an unknown ninja.

"Not you," Hagino said, raising a hand to Kumafuwafuwa. "I want to talk to the boy alone. Shoo. Shoo!"

The Bear Lord cocked his head, amusement and a slight hint of annoyance radiating off of him. "You are banishing me in my own lands, Mareo? I think perhaps you misunderstand our relationship."

"Bah! You think I don't know that you're only here to babysit me? You're afraid that this one here"—he pointed dramatically at Hazō—"is going to try to kill me! Hah! Whippersnapper like him, you think he could take the great and mighty Mareo, Summoner of Bears, Slaughterer of Sky, Looter of Legends? The man who defeated twenty Demon ninja in twenty minutes? The man who—"

"—likes to bloviate and brag?" Kumafuwafuwa said tartly.

"Bah! Look at this!" His tree-root fingers twined and twirled through a half dozen seals in the blink of an eye and he punched the sky with one fist even as he shouted, "Flames of the Devouring Hells!"

An inverted, truncated cone of flame ravaged out from Hagino's fist. The tip of the cone was a yard wide and hovered a foot from his knuckles. It spread quickly from there, the top of it being at least thirty yards across. The heat was so intense that Hazō could smell a few of his hairs crisping and had to blink away the pain of flash-dried eyes.

"See?" Hagino demanded of the Bear Lord, standing akimbo and smug. "See that? I've still got it and this little pipsqueak isn't going to be able to lay a finger on me if I don't want him to. I don't need you mother-henning me. That's for the Chicken Clan."

Kumafuwafuwa snorted. "There is no Chicken Clan, Mareo. I've been telling you that for forty years."

"Bah!" Hagino waved one hand dismissively. "Lies! Lies and calumny! I know what I saw! He was riding a giant chicken and I'm sure it was a summon! Now go on—shoo, and let me talk to the boy."

Kumafuwafuwa considered that for a moment, his jaw working as though tasting something sour, and then he nodded reluctantly. "Very well, old man. I'll see you later." His massive head swung towards Hazō and his voice became serious. "Remember what I said, boy. You will not escape me."

"I understand, sir."

"Hmph." The massive Bear glared at him for another moment, then turned and trundled back down the hill, fading away in that disconcerting way that Clan Bosses of the Seventh Path seemed to love.

"How'd you find me, boy? Sit, sit." Hagino planted his cane in the ground and slid down it slowly, his legs spraddling out in front of him until he was seated in the grass. Hazō couldn't help but notice that the cane was a single tree branch, two thumbs thick, with the end curled into a semi-circle that then doubled back on itself. It was the sort of thing that a bonsai expert might have created except it was big enough and solid enough to beat someone to death.

Hazō stood for a moment, utterly baffled. This was not how meeting a ninja elder was supposed to go. Such people were dignified, usually a bit threatening. Quirky, yes. Impatient, since they were too powerful to need social graces if they didn't want them. Most importantly: they did not put themselves in positions of vulnerability. They sat in chairs, not seiza, because it was easier to get out of a chair quickly than to get up from the floor, and fighting from shikko was disadvantageous no matter how good you were at it. They kept their backs to a wall unless that was impossible, and when it wasn't they usually kept their head slightly turned so they could monitor the open side from their peripheral vision.

Granted, that paranoia was partially for the benefit of those around them. Startling any ninja was a bad plan, but when it was someone who could demolish a building with a wave of their hand, a bit of extra caution was good. It behooved those with such destructive powers to take that caution.

So why in the world was this man sitting on his bum, leaning back on his hands with his legs stretched out in front of him like a child without a care in the world?

Hazō took a step back and lowered himself to the ground.

"What's your name, boy?" While he was asking, Hagino toed off his sandals and plucked a blade of grass between his toes, waving it back and forth like a festival flag. His feet were filthy and he hadn't cut his toenails in...apparently ever. Hazō did his best to ignore it.

"Gōketsu, sir. Gōketsu Hazō."

"Good, good. Good to meet you, Huzu."

"Hazō, sir."

"That's what I said. I'm Hagino Mareo, but you can call me Mareo and I'll call you Huzu. At my age the formalities get boring. So, what are you doing here, Huzu?"



Hazō considered making a thing of it, then decided to let it go. The old man was clearly messing with him. "I wanted to meet you, sir. I'm the Dog Summoner but I've only had the contract a short time. I wanted to meet the other Summoners, make friends where I could, listen to whatever advice they're willing to offer."

"Advice? Hah! I've got oodles of advice! I've got advice coming out of my ears! You want advice, I'm your man. But that's not really why you're here, is it?"

"Um...yes? It is?"

"Naaaaahhhhh." The old man leaned forward and stretched his arm way out so he could slap Hazō on the knee. The movement was slow and creaky; Hazō could have dodged it easily, but he made himself stay still.

"You're here for my Scroll, aintcha boy?" Mareo was still leaning forward, eyeing Hazō significantly, but there was a hint of a smile that made Hazō decide to lean into the joke.

He nodded soberly. "You have caught me. I am from the Watcher's Council. I, having been awarded my chūnin rank a few months ago, was selected to be the first to track you down and retrieve this mighty artifact."

"Oh? And how you planning on doing that, eh?"

"Orgy-induced heart attack," Hazō said, straight-faced. "I've arranged to have several attractive twenty-something female Summoners come by and pleasure you until your heart explodes."

"Hah!" This time Mareo bopped him on the thigh with the handle of his cane. "An excellent plan! I approve of this plan wholeheartedly! Tell 'em to bring some decent brandy with 'em, too. If my heart doesn't go, maybe they can get my liver."

"I shall make a note, sir."

"Good, good. Apple brandy, mind you. Or maybe some kind of berry. None of that carrot shit. Stuff was awful."

Hazō frowned. "Carrot brandy, sir?" Was that even possible? Did carrots have enough juice in them to ferment?

"I know, right? Stuff tasted like a dead skunk smells." He flung his arms wide, nearly losing control of his cane in the process. "But enough of that! Tell me about the Human Path, boy. I haven't been back there in ages. Is Ioannis still trying to swing west?"

"Ioannis, sir?"

"You know—ruler of those stabby people with the spears." He shook his head at the memory. "Swear by the fish, those guys could control the damn weather. Every time they came to scout us there was thick fog across half the country. Every time we went to scout them it would pour down rain, but only where we were. Might as well have been carrying a beacon on our heads."

"I don't know anything about that, sir."

"Good, good. Those crazy bastards over in Key must have fended him off."

"Were you from Key, sir?"

"And why would you want to know that, eh? Trying to find my return point, camp on it until I reappear so you can kill me and take my Scroll?"

"No, sir. I already said that I'm planning to have you assassinated by orgy-induced heart attack."

"Good, good. I like you, Huzu. You've got balls. Besides, it wouldn't work. I haven't been back there in years." He shuddered. "Filthy, disgusting, cold, rainy place. People always nagging at you—oh, Mareo, please go kill all the people in that tribe over there! Oh, Mareo, please go hunt down this wild animal! Oh, Mareo, please go scout out this filthy cave that we found that leads deep into the earth and has some kind of horrific doom fortress thing in it!"

For the life of him, Hazō could not think how to respond to that.

---

Author's Note : You chatted with Mareo until almost nightfall, telling him a bit about your history and your dreams of Uplift and listening to the (almost certainly wildly exaggerated) stories of his adventures. You maintained OPSEC throughout. You did not talk about the Dragons yet, because there wasn't a good place to introduce it into the conversation. You then returned to Cannai to get your travel papers stamped rights re-approved.

You visited him twice more (see timeline below) and spoke to him about the Dragons on your second visit.

You weren't able to do normal FOOM training while on the Seventh Path, since Noburi wasn't available to restore your chakra and you weren't comfortable being so vulnerable around an unknown ninja, but you did have one clone sit and do preliminary seal research on the Activation Relay Seal, so this day counts as prep for your next infusion attempt.

This update covered 10 days, spent as follows:

• Day 1 (March 26): Talk to Mareo while your clone does prep
• Day 2: Make an infusion roll.
  • Calligraphy: 27 + 9 (dice) = 36
  • Sealing (48) + 5 (prep) - 6 1 FP to reroll!
  • Sealing (48) + 5 (prep) + 0 = 53
  • Success! ARS is well more than half done.
• Day 3-4: Recover from seal headache while fulfilling other obligations. Visit Mareo again, for just a couple of hours. Brief him on the Dragon situation. He frowned and grumbled and said he'd think about it.
• Day 5
  • Calligraphy: 27 + 6 (dice) = 33
  • Sealing (48) + 3 = 51.
  • Success!
• Day 6-7 (April 1-2): Recover from seal headache while fulfilling other obligations. Visit Mareo again. He didn't remember who you were and assumed you were there to attack him. He screamed at you to get out and never come back, but he did not pursue you when you fled.
• Day 8: Make an infusion roll.
  • Calligraphy: 27 + 3 (dice) = 30
  • Sealing (48) + 0 = 48.
  • Success! The Activation Relay Seal is complete! Details have been added to the PLAYERS - Known Seals document
• Day 9-10 (April 4-5): Recover from headache. You were too busy to visit Mareo.

XP AWARD: 50 This was a solid plan. Concise, well thought out, took the social niceties and chain of command into account.

Important: Note details of your second and third visits with Mareo in the timeline above.

Brevity XP: 10

"GM had fun" XP: 10

• Mareo is a blast.

FP Award:

• -1 for invoking "Creative Idealist"
• -1 for rerolling
• +1 for winning a significant social battle
• +1 for general refresh
• +1 because Mareo is fun to write

It is now dawn on April 6, 1070 AS. Noburi's practice with the Akimichi Chakra Enhancement technique is complete on April 16. Kagome's summoner training is complete at some point that I'll edit in here as soon as I figure it out and I've posted a bounty for anyone who wants to help.

Vote time! What to do now?

Voting ends on Wednesday, Apr 20, 2022 at 7:00 AM