Honestly while I don't mind therapists (and think it'd be a capital idea to have some on retainer) I think really the best thing we can do for girls is the fact we already can already release them from the worst parts of being meguca (that they aren't forced into battle royale situations and we have a strong group that can protect them). In my opinion much of the dysfunction of modern humans in all situations is from the struggles of life as is, and if you can just take as long as you want to figure things out and have plenty of people who will have your back it makes everything else much easier.
They've got a built in support group if nothing else in each other.
We can address a lot of the common problems and take a lot of the pressure off. That will definitely do more for them than therapy will.
But there are still a lot of people with a lot of unresolved trauma that could really benefit from the sort of advice a mental health professional could provide about processing that trauma and breaking out of self-destructive patterns.
That... doesnt make sense?? If she had an ability to stockpile grief seeds, Homura would've just bribed pretty much every single meguca she could call to fight Walpurgis and just dogpile her. Alternatively, she could've extended her time stop powers or allowed some stupid shenanigans in timelines where Mami lived till Walpurgis.
Ninja'd while writing. If this is what Firn ruled for PMAS fine, I am dropping subject now. But I still maintain opinion that outside of PMAS that doesnt make a lick of sense.
The traumatized, friendless orphan who's been climbing straight out of a hospital bed to march through hell watching everyone she's ever cared about die or worse again and again no matter what she does or how hard she tries for so long she's lost track is not making optimal decisions like a pro gamer.
This is kind of the point of Homura. In a white room, she should be winning everything forever, but she's a human being and despite the astonishing levels of willpower she's got going for her, the shit she's seen and had to keep seeing if she even wants a chance to save the people she cares about has taken a toll on her. She might build up a stockpile in one loop, then things go wrong the next one and she had to dip into it and it's all gone.
She's also facing a manipulative enemy whose explicit goal is to break her mentally, and the damage Kyubey does in that regard doesn't go away with the timeline reset. He's been actively steering her in the wrong direction as hard as he can, even when he doesn't know she's a time traveler, because doing that is his standard MO with every Magical Girl.
There's also the possibility that she tried exactly that at some point when she had the Grief Seeds to hire the various mercenary groups. We know she has a "recruit for Walpurgisnacht" short list. And every time she does that and it doesn't turn out to be enough is all those Grief Seeds not available next loop, so she has to start building up her supply again.
So yeah, I don't find anything too implausible here.
Since I am already promised to drop this subject and I am still here I write this last rant and be off. Not really feeling like holding discussions anyway, I really want to but ugh, I want to fall over and die more.
1. I am not sure we know how much and what went in between "major" loops anyway so both our speculations are moot. I cant even tell if her list of mercs is only PMAS canon or wider canon.
2. I have a bit of... I wouldnt say "hoarder" mentality per se but something similar; I like to be prepared for a rainy day and even if said day arrives I still hold onto everything I can as much as I can so I can begin to prepare for the next rainy day. Thought of just blowing everything away in blind hail mary is outright heretical to me. And thats not just me being adult; I was like this since the moment I understood that those funky paper things called money actually have worth.
3. I kind of disagree that rat is able to get to Homura that easily and steering her somehow. She steered herself in current position of detachment all on her own; if you can trace rat's paw in there its not even him actively trying, this is all environment he fostered. Without potentialbomb Homura very likely could've gone on indefinitely... or until Gretchen become so powerful she oneshotted Homura before she can jump back in time.
4. From meta perspective, now, I suck shit as a writer but I can recognize logistical nightmare when I see one. I dont even have to write anything, @StellarMonarch already explained absolute fucking shitshow that is having another version of a character running around and that's just one version of Mami. More versions of Mami? More versions of the squad?! Firn - or anyone who adopts this stance - would need to DOUBLE at least volume of the fic to explore if not everything then at least satisfying for audience amount of what this all entails. Hell, as of now I have no idea how Firn would handle seeds of the squad even just in epilogue if/when we figure out dewitching. I have utmost faith in Firn because you have to have god tier writing and planning skills to make this quest run for YEARS, but I genuinely cannot see how any resolution to this would be satisfying in any matter and not end up as just a paragraph of text at most. And all this mechanic of transferring seeds through timeloops - for what gain? If it was never used for anything substantial... well, if some aspect of in world mechanic brings nothing to the table but a headache its far more sensible to just scrap the whole thing. Homura bringing seeds through time and not using them for some gambit that moves plot somehow is essentially a pointless flavor text that can be safely removed to not cause headaches and debates down the line.
Since I am already promised to drop this subject and I am still here I write this last rant and be off. Not really feeling like holding discussions anyway, I really want to but ugh, I want to fall over and die more.
1. I am not sure we know how much and what went in between "major" loops anyway so both our speculations are moot. I cant even tell if her list of mercs is only PMAS canon or wider canon.
2. I have a bit of... I wouldnt say "hoarder" mentality per se but something similar; I like to be prepared for a rainy day and even if said day arrives I still hold onto everything I can as much as I can so I can begin to prepare for the next rainy day. Thought of just blowing everything away in blind hail mary is outright heretical to me. And thats not just me being adult; I was like this since the moment I understood that those funky paper things called money actually have worth.
3. I kind of disagree that rat is able to get to Homura that easily and steering her somehow. She steered herself in current position of detachment all on her own; if you can trace rat's paw in there its not even him actively trying, this is all environment he fostered. Without potentialbomb Homura very likely could've gone on indefinitely... or until Gretchen become so powerful she oneshotted Homura before she can jump back in time.
4. From meta perspective, now, I suck shit as a writer but I can recognize logistical nightmare when I see one. I dont even have to write anything, @StellarMonarch already explained absolute fucking shitshow that is having another version of a character running around and that's just one version of Mami. More versions of Mami? More versions of the squad?! Firn - or anyone who adopts this stance - would need to DOUBLE at least volume of the fic to explore if not everything then at least satisfying for audience amount of what this all entails. Hell, as of now I have no idea how Firn would handle seeds of the squad even just in epilogue if/when we figure out dewitching. I have utmost faith in Firn because you have to have god tier writing and planning skills to make this quest run for YEARS, but I genuinely cannot see how any resolution to this would be satisfying in any matter and not end up as just a paragraph of text at most. And all this mechanic of transferring seeds through timeloops - for what gain? If it was never used for anything substantial... well, if some aspect of in world mechanic brings nothing to the table but a headache its far more sensible to just scrap the whole thing. Homura bringing seeds through time and not using them for some gambit that moves plot somehow is essentially a pointless flavor text that can be safely removed to not cause headaches and debates down the line.
2. I was always the same way. Got teased by my family for coming home from a trip with more money than I started with one time as a kid. And I've only recently been able to convince myself to actually throw away decades' worth of worn out shoes I've been holding on to out of an irrational belief that I'll end up needing one day because something might unexpectedly happen to my main pair. It might be relevant that I tend to conceptualize this miser behavior (that I've been getting better about since getting medicated) as sacrificing the present for the future, and the entire concept of the future is one Homura obviously has a very different perspective on than you or I.
3. I'm not saying Kyubey's "getting to" Homura. Only that Homura's mental health is being subjected to a death by a thousand cuts, and Kyubey would have obviously been adding to that whenever he saw an opportunity. Misleading framing of things and encouraging unhealthy habits and beliefs are Kyubey's bread and butter. Sure, Homura came up with the idea that she should do everything herself after the loop where she had to mercy kill Madoka, but the later Kyubeys would have done what they could to keep her in that headspace, because isolated and lonely girls fighting the good fight and taking on all the burdens on their own shoulders is exactly the sort of behavior he promotes at any opportunity, because that's good for his bottom line. It's why when he saw Sabrina overextending herself, he tried dropping hints about girls we might want to meet. His manipulations aren't all master stroke one liners like "you're a great actress". They're also the day to day grind like being there on Mami's birthday when no one else was, emphasizing how much he appreciates the sacrifices she's making that have led to him being the only one there.
To expand on this scenario that wont get out of my head: Homura likely has a Candeloro grief seed from a previous timeline, we successfully Dewitch it and re-embody her, Mami #2 is now free and at large. How does she handle being in this story?
Actually, this reminds me of an occurrence that we will 100% have to deal with if we ever get the ability to dewitch people.
So . . . There will be duplicates. As in, witches can self-replicate, meaning that if we want to dewitch all the witches then we'll end up with multiple instances of the same person. Or, well, post-witch. I'm not sure if we'll actually be able to turn them back into MGs, or even if that is possible. I don't expect it to be clean.
Now, a lot of this depends on how exactly it works, as well as how we improve the process, but this means two things:
1) We have back-ups when something goes wrong.
2) There's probably going to be some awkward conversations if memories are retained.
None of this is particularly relevant now, we shouldn't count our chickens before they hatch, but it's interesting to note.
Also, we should really check to see if we can make a dewitching construct. Probably not to use, but just to see if we can
Which incidentally does suggest that perhaps some people with multiple copies of themselves, either through de-witched familiars or copies from previous loops, might like to operate that way too. I think that's how I would like to handle it if I were in that situation.
Which incidentally does suggest that perhaps some people with multiple copies of themselves, either through de-witched familiars or copies from previous loops, might like to operate that way too. I think that's how I would like to handle it if I were in that situation.
But Twins are not only two different people, they are also mentally... errr... mental. I very much doubt that if you try to shove two or more of the same person into one body you would get anything positive out of such interaction. More so... why? We have Mad Scientist Extraordinare on our team who already growths bodies for megucas. Hell, we can even ask Niko to make alterations to bodies so if clones desire they can be ever so slightly or entirely different people
People have preferences. I would prefer to be able to fuse with my copies in some way were it possible. Others would prefer differently. I think we should enable whatever mode of existence they want to have.
People have preferences. I would prefer to be able to fuse with my copies in some way were it possible. Others would prefer differently. I think we should enable whatever mode of existence they want to have.
Fusing would imply fusing souls, otherwise if we just stick two soul gems to one body its just multiple personality disorder and I have many doubts that anyone mentally sound would be fine sharing a body with someone else even if that someone is also them.
IF we doing fusing souls route then yes, it feels like a much better solution and I also would've gone this route myself. Though, again, have many doubts that others would even consider this option. I can see a heavily depressed clone accepting that as basically a "soft suicide" if that makes any sense but someone more mentally stable? People in PMMM verse freak out because of whole lich thing, something that is very stupid and genuinely is a direct upgrade to human body especially if you have whole witch thing sorted out, so giving up their personality, their minds and souls... yeeeeeeah, I think anyone who accepts that should have a talk with a therapist first.
Fusing would imply fusing souls, otherwise if we just stick two soul gems to one body its just multiple personality disorder and I have many doubts that anyone mentally sound would be fine sharing a body with someone else even if that someone is also them.
IF we doing fusing souls route then yes, it feels like a much better solution and I also would've gone this route myself. Though, again, have many doubts that others would even consider this option. I can see a heavily depressed clone accepting that as basically a "soft suicide" if that makes any sense but someone more mentally stable? People in PMMM verse freak out because of whole lich thing, something that is very stupid and genuinely is a direct upgrade to human body especially if you have whole witch thing sorted out, so giving up their personality, their minds and souls... yeeeeeeah, I think anyone who accepts that should have a talk with a therapist first.
For the lich issue, this is down to a cultural translation issue, specifically about what defines a dead body. Essentially, by separating the soul from the body, Magical Girls are, by the local cultural definition, puppeting corpses, no matter how well preserved, lifelike, etc. they may be. From our point of view, it's a nonissue because we've been seeping in a culture dominated by dualism our entire lives. The body and soul were always separate things in our cultural worldview.
As such, Sayaka thinking about romance with Kyosuke now involves her trying to imagine talking him into necrophilia. This not only twigs her fear of rejection since talking people into violating that sort of taboo is really prone to getting negative responses, but it also squicks her out about her own body as well. It leaves her feeling permanently unclean in a way no amount of showering will fix.
As to my own preference for a Souju style fusion with my duplicates were I in that situation, I figure my internal monologue is already a conversation I'm having with my self, and I still consider myself one person, so adding more "me" into the mix wouldn't meaningfully change things.
After all, being a singular individual is an illusion, similar to the illusion that we live in the present moment or that we can see color in our perifial vision. Our nervous system has a proagation time long enough that we would be able to notice the difference between our decision to wiggle our toes and the time it takes for the signal to reach those muscles, and our brains routinely edit our perceptions to create the illusion of instant control. Likewise, our eyes only see color in a very narrow area of our focal point, with our visual cortex basically painting in the image with whatever colors make sense based on memory and the like.
It's really fascenating looking in to all the ways our brains fool us all the time. And the illusion that we are singular beings with one mind controlling everything is one of the most fascenating. With people who have certain brain injuries that inhibit the normal communication betwen different areas of the brain, we can actually see the brain making shit up to try to keep up the illusion. In people where the damage to their nervous system has restricted the communication between the hemispheres of the brain, you can put blinders on a person so that only one eye can see a sign and then when that side of their body does something in response to the sign, the side that doesn't know why they did that ends up making up a just-so story about why they'd done that which the person fully believes despite it obviously being a post-hoc rationalization for anyone who knew the sign was there.
So like I said, I figure plugging multiple Soul Gems with different "mes" together Souju style would likely result in that illusion reasserting itself and I would feel like one person, even if technically I was multiple.
As to my own preference for a Souju style fusion with my duplicates were I in that situation, I figure my internal monologue is already a conversation I'm having with my self, and I still consider myself one person, so adding more "me" into the mix wouldn't meaningfully change things.
After all, being a singular individual is an illusion, similar to the illusion that we live in the present moment or that we can see color in our perifial vision. Our nervous system has a proagation time long enough that we would be able to notice the difference between our decision to wiggle our toes and the time it takes for the signal to reach those muscles, and our brains routinely edit our perceptions to create the illusion of instant control. Likewise, our eyes only see color in a very narrow area of our focal point, with our visual cortex basically painting in the image with whatever colors make sense based on memory and the like.
It's really fascenating looking in to all the ways our brains fool us all the time. And the illusion that we are singular beings with one mind controlling everything is one of the most fascenating. With people who have certain brain injuries that inhibit the normal communication betwen different areas of the brain, we can actually see the brain making shit up to try to keep up the illusion. In people where the damage to their nervous system has restricted the communication between the hemispheres of the brain, you can put blinders on a person so that only one eye can see a sign and then when that side of their body does something in response to the sign, the side that doesn't know why they did that ends up making up a just-so story about why they'd done that which the person fully believes despite it obviously being a post-hoc rationalization for anyone who knew the sign was there.
So like I said, I figure plugging multiple Soul Gems with different "mes" together Souju style would likely result in that illusion reasserting itself and I would feel like one person, even if technically I was multiple.
All the little ways brain fools us is a fascinating study. Your point of view on Twins style fusion is a very interesting take and, respectfully, I completely disagree.
Theoretical me from past timeline and me from current timeline are different people even if ever so subtly. We had different experiences that shaped us differently. More so, I am in charge of my own internal monologue, it doesnt run wild on its own, the millisecond I hear in my head some idea, statement that I cannot remember making step by step the illusion of "Its just me" would fall apart and past-me and current-me would become hyperaware how we are DIFFERENT. No matter how much we are similar, I am not him and he is not me. Just one singular however minuscule disagreement and its all over.
I would go for a soul fusion if I go for anything of that nature at all but both past-me and current-me must sufficiently depressed so "soft suicide" doesnt seem like that bad of an idea. That or become so apathetic that its literal "Fuck it we ball" moment when you decide that the other guy (fusion of two different people probably will result in creating something third; of course if we go with other interpretation we have dominant soul and all this Bleach style jazz) will deal with all bullshit that would be result of such decision. Bleach/Hollow style fusion would be kinda perfect, because it requires to only clone iteration to be suicidal; current "main" individual would live just fine and keep being whoever they were just with extra set of memories.
All the little ways brain fools us is a fascinating study. Your point of view on Twins style fusion is a very interesting take and, respectfully, I completely disagree.
Whether someone wants to fully separate, or try to fuse, and what degrees of fusion they are willing to accept will all come down to each individual's personal philosophy of identity, and no particular mode of existence should be one we force or pressure anyone else into.
My expectation would be that while there would be some growing pains when the different memories lead to different thought patterns, we would eventually end up synchronizing our memories, since the entire process of remembering things involves basically taking the memory out of storage, examining it, applying present biases to that examination, then re-storing the altered memory. That's how you can do things like implant false memories. I figure this would be a scenario that would be really conductive to the gem who didn't experience a particular incident forming a false memory of whatever the gem who did experience it brought up and presented to the conversation between the two minds to examine.
As for the thought patterns synchronizing, it's sort of like how people who live together for a long time come to act more like one another, only you're living even closer together and you already started off with a lot in common due to the identical life experiences prior to the divergence point.
I very much doubt that if you try to shove two or more of the same person into one body you would get anything positive out of such interaction.
...
I would go for a soul fusion if I go for anything of that nature at all but both past-me and current-me must sufficiently depressed so "soft suicide" doesnt seem like that bad of an idea.
In my mind, I was thinking it would basically be like Naruto's shadow clones depositing their memories, or whatever happens to Homura's brain at the beginning of every time loop. Basically the "old" you gets some new memories and syncs up with the "new" you, but both versions of yourself would be the "old" one, as both versions are getting memory dumps, so all past experiences are unified.
So like I said, I figure plugging multiple Soul Gems with different "mes" together Souju style would likely result in that illusion reasserting itself and I would feel like one person, even if technically I was multiple.
...
My expectation would be that while there would be some growing pains when the different memories lead to different thought patterns, we would eventually end up synchronizing our memories
See, this is an opinion you hold based off your cultural background. Many people would disagree with this statement because of their religious/cultural beliefs. Clearly, Sayaka did. That the body and soul are separable and that the soul is the only part of you that makes you, you, is a culturally Christian belief (probably not exclusively, I assume there are other cultures that have this belief too), and not everyone holds it.
That the body and soul are separable and that the soul is the only part of you that makes you, you, is a culturally Christian belief (probably not exclusively, I assume there are other cultures that have this belief too), and not everyone holds it.
In our world it's a matter of belief, but in the world of Madoka Magica it's an empirically verifiable fact. Earth is a sphere, the sun is the center of the solar system, and the soul is separable from the body and contains all the elements that make you who you are.
In our world it's a matter of belief, but in the world of Madoka Magica it's an empirically verifiable fact. Earth is a sphere, the sun is the center of the solar system, and the soul is separable from the body and contains all the elements that make you who you are.
In our world it's a matter of belief, but in the world of Madoka Magica it's an empirically verifiable fact. Earth is a sphere, the sun is the center of the solar system, and the soul is separable from the body and contains all the elements that make you who you are.
The empirically verifiable facts in PMMM are that you die when its shattered and that the soul can be physically separate from the body, but that's not what I was arguing.
There are multiple ways to view the lich bomb. The soul's ability to remain after removal doesn't change the fact different cultures will view it differently, and thus react differently. You can still see the two as working together and unable to function properly without one another even with knowledge of soul gems kept in mind.
Your body's state still effects your mental state in PMMM unless you make an effort to ignore it. You are unable to function properly without a body unless you burn through a crazy amount of magic. Even then, this can only be done for a limited amount of time. You use the least magic when you let your body operate as normal-- one could view that as the soul and body remaining inseparable.
[X] After Lunch
-[X] Planned timestop talk --[X] Resist the urge to apologize again --- [X] It's okay, Sabrina. We'll keep working on it together.
-- [X] Propose to bring Hitomi in on the Witchbomb
-- [X] Propose a contingency to tell Madoka everything in the event of her being about to make a contract
-- [X] Propose to now tell Madoka that she might end the world if she contracts
--- [X] How do you address Homura's fear?
---- [X] Ask if Homura has tried telling Madoka about this before. We think she hasn't, but we should confirm.
---- [X] Homura understands Madoka is a selfless person. Risks to herself will be less motivating to Madoka than risks to other people would be.
---- [X] We don't have to reveal the witchbomb to tell her this is a risk and can instead explain this as the Madoka specific risk it is.
---- [X] We don't have to reveal the loops if Homura's not ready to talk about that, and we can say it's from Sabrina's metaknowledge.
[x] Make some calls
-[X] Ask if Rin is willing to help Niko with the Soujus victims
-[X] Contact the Murasaki Shrine Maidens and schedule a meeting for tomorrow
--[X] Decide whether to meet them on the way to the Kagoshima group meeting or on the way back.
The rest of lunch passes with happy chatter and teasing, back and forth. Even Homura contributes from time to time, dry remarks thrown in when you least expect it. And even as your lunchboxes sit empty beside you, all six of you linger, reluctant to move on even as the resumption of classes draws closer.
You keep an eye on Sayaka, of course, and she... seems alright, for most part. From time to time, her eyes flicker out towards the skyline, then to you, then away, and you're adroit enough that you manage to avoid her catching you observing her. But her cheer doesn't falter, her smile undimmed. Not unaffected, then, but getting over it, which you'll take as a good thing.
Ultimately, though, Hitomi stands, brushing her skirt down.
"We really should be going," she says regretfully. "We'll be late for classes otherwise."
"Alright, alright," you say, smiling and shaking your head as everyone rises to their feet. "Sorry for keeping you guys. Uh, Homura, could we have a moment to talk before you head off?"
Homura nods silently.
"Great," you say, smiling. "Well... enjoy literature, everyone. And PE. See you after school?"
"Yeah!" Madoka says happily. "I want to see the place Hitomi and Homura are getting! See you after school!"
"Ah!" Mami blinks, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a familiar keyring of multicoloured jewels. Sayaka's copied powers, that were with her clone. "Before I forget, Sayaka, here you go."
"Oh, I completely forgot about those," Sayaka says, beckoning for the ring and catching it easily from Mami's underhand throw. "Thanks! Would've been embarassing if I went into a fight without these..."
"Which you wouldn't, because you're on leave," Mami says, raising an amused eyebrow. "Right?"
"Yeah, yeah," Sayaka says, waving it off. "Anyway. Later, Mami, Sabrina! C'mon, Madoka, Hitomi, let's go, we can't blink right to the classroom if we need to."
"Until later!" Mami offers, and turns to you as Sayaka links her arms with Madoka and Hitomi's, half-dragging them off to the stairs. She tilts her head slightly, and you nod, so she squeezes your hand slightly, and releases you with a smile and a soft sigh.
"I won't be long," you say, winking at her, and turning to Homura.
A transformation, a blaze of purple light, and that jarring stutter-stop.
Equally familiar is the way the endless greys leach away the vibrant colours of the world and the way your heartbeat echoes in your ears, the warmth of the sun now a distant memory as the perpetual chill returns. Mami's form stands utterly motionless, the smile still lingering on her face. But all this is... familiar, and welcoming, in some ways. You get how Homura found it a comforting refuge, her sanctum against the world.
Homura's hand is warm on your wrist even as amethyst eyes seek yours. She holds your gaze, as if searching for something.
You exhale heavily, the cheer falling away under the weight of her regard.
"I'm sorry," you say. "I didn't mean for... I didn't want it to affect Madoka. I didn't think that Sayaka would react like that."
Homura stares at you without responding for a long, long moment, then she shakes her head slowly.
"Are you alright?" she asks.
You blink at her, flummoxed.
"After dealing with the Soujus," Homura clarifies. "And the fight."
"I..." You swallow, remembering the feeling of flesh parting beneath your blades. It's nothing new to you, not at this point, but it's still less than pleasant. "Yeah. I am. Things could have gone better, and I could have done better but... I'm alright."
"OK," Homura says.
"Are you?" you ask gently.
Another long silence, as Homura gathers her thoughts. Her gaze drifts from you, intense stare fixing on the stairwell past your shoulder, where Madoka had disappeared into.
"Reminded of the past," she says quietly. "The look on Sayaka's face..."
"... ah," you say. "I'm sorry."
She shakes her head again.
"It's past," she says, and this time, it's her turn to exhale heavily. "Madoka was worried. She always is."
"Yeah," you say with a sigh. "I... again, Homura, I'm sorry."
Once more, Homura shakes her head, a look of frustration flickering across her face. But not at you, you can tell that much. At herself, as she hunts for the words she lost somewhere along the way.
"It was different," she says finally. "Madoka was worried, after. But it was... focused, on helping Sayaka." A minute frown furrows her brow. "Purposeful. She didn't know the details, but she knew what she was doing."
"Madoka has always been gentle," you say. "But never soft. She has a spine of steel under there, but... you don't need me to tell you that."
"She hasn't been like that," Homura whispers. "Not for a long time. Except..."
"Ah," you whisper, your heart breaking as you understand. "I'm going to hug you, alright?"
Homura doesn't object as you gently pull her into your embrace, but she sags against you, arms rising to hug you back fiercely.
Madoka believes in acting to do good. From helping a cat, to helping a friend, to helping the world. And it's that exact impulse that drives her to make her Wish, every time. It's that exact impulse that Kyuubey preys on. And it's that exact impulse that first saw Madoka extend a hand in friendship to a lost, lonely girl on that first day, so very long ago.
You wonder, briefly, what would Madoka do in a world without magic. Become a paralegal to champion a cause, perhaps. But this is not that world, and... Madoka finds purpose in being a magical girl. But the road that her purpose leads her down is, seemingly, an inevitable one. Over and over again, Homura has thrown herself in the way to protect her, and over and over again, Madoka's drive led her onwards.
But today, Homura saw that side of Madoka again. Not as a magical girl, but alongside one.
You can't even begin to imagine the storm of emotion Homura's been bottling up. Confusion, and fear, and worry, and maybe, just maybe, hope. All bottled up, tamped down, and locked so deep even you didn't have any idea until Homura told you.
You find yourself at a loss for words, so you simply hold Homura, for the moment, and hope that she can find some comfort, something to steady herself in your presence. It takes her a while before she pulls herself together and she steps back, her hand still on your wrist.
"It's a good thing?" Homura murmurs, her words inflected as half question, half trying to convince herself.
"I think so," you say. "I think it's a good start, to have Madoka having something to do that's not being a magical girl. I know you don't like the idea of Madoka coming into contact with magical girl life, but... I think it's good for her to find something adjacent to it."
"That's... good," she says.
Conversation lapses, and you hold your tongue. You hardly begrudge Homura the time to think, after all, especially when it's over something like this. You watch her, and let her think, your breaths and your own heartbeat the only sound accompanying you. Finally, she nods, and refocuses on you.
"... you had something else?" she asks quietly.
"Yeah," you say, rubbing your nose and smiling. "D'you want to sit back down? These might take a little longer to discuss."
Homura nods, and heads back to the bench she'd been sharing with Madoka and Hitomi. You follow obligingly, shifting to make contact with a small bead of Grief pressed against the back of her right hand, just to make things a little easier.
"Alright," you say, glancing at Mami's frozen form. You quash the urge to ask Homura for permission to bring Mami into timestop as well, but... no. Not with the topic you're about to broach. Instead, you raise three fingers. "I have three suggestions to make. But they're suggestions, OK? I won't do anything if you forbid it."
Homura nods once again, bracing herself.
"Number one," you say, folding down your thumb. "I propose that we tell Hitomi about the origin of Witches. I think..." You frown. "I think, of all our friends, she's best able to handle the secret, and keep it a secret?"
"... she is," Homura murmurs after a moment. "She's been... reliable, before."
"Oh?" you ask, blinking. "I don't think I know about this one."
Homura shrugs with one shoulder.
"She's... been in the wrong place before, to see... things happening," she says. "And she tries to help, sometimes. Successfully helps." Her lips twist into a grimace, hesitant. "Why?"
"Why tell Hitomi?" you ask. You hum for a moment. "I think it'd help to have one more person aware of the nature of Witches. If someone else finds out by accident, she could be one more voice helping to calm things down, instead of being shocked and scared. Hitomi, in particular, isn't directly affected by it."
"She would... behave differently, if she knew," Homura says quietly. "Madoka would notice."
"That's possible, yeah," you say. "Though I think Hitomi could conceal it, if we asked her to?"
"I don't know," Homura says. "I... don't have any strong objections to telling Hitomi." She grimaces. "I leave this to your judgement. What was your next proposal?"
You blink, mildly startled. That had hardly been difficult at all. But then again, Hitomi's always been sensible, and that counts for a lot, you think. Still, you're not going to look a gift horse in the mouth, so it's on to the next one.
"I... want to establish a contingency," you say, sighing. "It's something that I had assumed I would do, in the worst case scenario, but... I want your permission for it, Homura."
"What is it?" Homura asks, her expression going blank.
You half turn to meet her gaze properly, unflinching.
"I hope that it won't come up, and I will do everything in my power to prevent it from coming to pass, but if... if." You take her hands, squeezing gently. "If it should come to pass that Madoka is on the verge of making a Wish, I want to tell her everything, so that..." You swallow. "So that she knows the costs."
You feel it, as Homura's breath catches in her throat, her expression crumpling. You squeeze her hands gently.
"I will do everything I can to prevent it from coming to that point," you murmur. "I promise, Homura. But I want to have every possible contingency against it, and with your permission, this... this would be the last one. Madoka's smart. And she cares. You know that. And if Madoka understood, truly understood, I think it would change her decision."
She nods jerkily, or maybe she simply bows her head, looking down at your hands. Whether in agreement with your words, or your proposal, you don't know, but you don't press. Not now. Instead, you simply squeeze gently, reminding her that you're here. She's not alone in this struggle.
"OK," Homura whispers at last, her voice ragged and breathing short, despite not having done anything. "OK."
"Thank you, Homura," you murmur.
[X] Propose to now tell Madoka that she might end the world if she contracts
- [X] How do you address Homura's fear?
-- [X] Ask if Homura has tried telling Madoka about this before. We think she hasn't, but we should confirm.
-- [X] Homura understands Madoka is a selfless person. Risks to herself will be less motivating to Madoka than risks to other people would be.
-- [X] We don't have to reveal the witchbomb to tell her this is a risk and can instead explain this as the Madoka specific risk it is.
-- [X] We don't have to reveal the loops if Homura's not ready to talk about that, and we can say it's from Sabrina's metaknowledge.
[x] Make some calls
-[X] Ask if Rin is willing to help Niko with the Soujus victims
-[X] Contact the Murasaki Shrine Maidens and schedule a meeting for tomorrow
--[X] Decide whether to meet them on the way to the Kagoshima group meeting or on the way back.
[] Write-in (word count limit: 150 words)
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Apologies for taking so long on this one. Homura's a difficult character at the best of times, and it took a fair bit for me to figure out her reactions. But I've got it going now, so second part should follow this weekend.
Whether someone wants to fully separate, or try to fuse, and what degrees of fusion they are willing to accept will all come down to each individual's personal philosophy of identity, and no particular mode of existence should be one we force or pressure anyone else into.
When Yuki* comes to claim the house, we should ask what she thinks about using Warehouse-kun as a Constellation wide science lab, somewhere we can perform experiments without Kyuubey showing up and probably without it watching. Doing it inside a claimed building is also excellent insurance that any experiments that go wrong don't damage the things around the test. Then, we can easily get together those more Science! inclined members.
We would be willing to do a lot of repairs to make that more viable for Yuki, though if we do want to do those repairs, we might want to investigate buying Warehouse-kun properly instead of by squatter's rights in an abandoned building.
Wow what a closure, it's been so long since the quest started and finally we are setting up big reveals.
Madoka is the biggest one of all and I fully trust you all with how to bring this up considering how far this quest has come.
