"What's next is..." You consider for a moment before shaking your head, smiling ruefully. "Uhm. I have a few more thoughts, but if you want, we can relax a bit, if you like? We have, ahem, all the time in the world, and... I know I've just dumped a lot on your plate."
Homura hesitates, and nods.
"That would be good," she murmurs, seeming to relax a little.
"Alright," you say, smiling at her and stretching. You hook your arms over the back of your Grief chair, propping it up on two legs and letting your head loll backwards. Still, you keep an eye on Homura, who closes her eyes, a bit of tension ebbing from the taut cables of her shoulder and neck.
"... don't suppose you want some tea?" you ask after a moment. You lift your head far enough to grin at Homura. "Tea-timestop, as it were."
And you
did just do a lot of talking. You're a little thirsty.
"I... only have teabags," Homura says. "And instant coffee. I assume neither will be sufficient?"
You wrinkle your nose. "What
kind of teabags? I mean, teabags aren't inherently bad, it's just that they
tend to be cheap tea."
Homura shrugs, reaching behind her shield to produce two bottles of Coke instead, along with a bottle opener.
"Is this OK?" she asks.
You blink, and then laugh. "Sure," you say, beckoning for one.
Homura pops the top off and slides the bottle across the desk. You lean forward just long enough to catch the bottle- still cold, condensation beading on the surface.
"Where'd you even get this, anyway? Glass bottle, I mean," you say, flicking your fingernail against said bottle and taking a long pull from it.
"I've had these for... a while," Homura says. She frowns pensively, looking at her own bottle before taking a sip. "Hitomi, possibly."
"Hah," you say. "Fair enough! Also, before I forget - I'm
definitely going to cook you more stuff to keep in your inventory, for you and for others. You're too skinny, Homura, and I mean to fatten you up."
Homura blinks at you, and rather than answer, takes another slow sip.
You laugh, raising your bottle in salute before relaxing in your chair. It's a rather odd place to relax in, but here, with Homura, with Mami not ten steps away... You can just about understand why Homura considers this her retreat, her sanctum. The oppressive silence and colour-leached world is something you're not sure you'll ever fully get
used to, but it's tolerable, now.
"May I have a cleanse?" Homura murmurs, raising her hand.
"Of course," you say. Just for good measure, you cleanse your own Soul Gem, too. You make a little show of it, spinning the Grief in a circle before letting it explode into a starburst that vanishes, rotated
away to join the rest of your Grief in hammerspace.
A clatter draws your attention to the other side of the table, just in time to spot Homura expertly check-clear a shotgun before popping the magazine cap off. The classic Remington shotgun, you're pretty sure, pump action and absolutely ubiquitous.
She catches your glance, holding your gaze for a split second and shrugging before starting to clean the gun.
"What else did you want to talk about?" she asks quietly.
"Well," you say, smiling at her. "I... you know you're my friend, right? We're friends and partners in this. In getting through this, in keeping Madoka safe, in beating Walpurgisnacht and what comes next. Mami is my... well, no. I'm Mami's. But you, Homura? You're my best friend."
Homura freezes, her breath catching in her throat as she states at you with wide, wide violet eyes. You nod slowly, holding her gaze steadily. You know what you said, and you
meant what you said. You trust her, just as fully as you trust Mami, and you can be fully
open with her, about your burdens and fears and worries.
And...
You can't do that for Mami. Not yet. Not
yet. No matter how much you care for her -
because you care about her so, so much. You'll get there soon, but
soon is not
now. It's not fair, you don't like it, you've done your best to make it clear to Mami that you're keeping secrets, but for now, it is what it is: a leaden weight of responsibility and guilt you can't release.
Not that different from Homura and Madoka, in the end, and they have an even longer road ahead of them.
Homura swallows, and nods, just once, and jerky and uncertain, but she nods.
You beam at her. Because that right there-
That is
progress.
"So with that said, Homura..." you continue, and let your grin soften a little. "You know I've only had as much success as I'm having because I'm standing on the shoulders of giants, right? Well,
a giant. And from those shoulders, I've got... an outsider's perspective, along with a fantastic vantage point, to mangle the saying."
"Me?" Homura asks, eyes flickering up to you. Her hands don't stop moving, effortlessly popping two securing pins off the shotgun followed quickly by the entire trigger mechanism. "Madoka is safe. That's what matters."
And if it bothers her at all that
you're the one sweeping in with successes to her failures, it doesn't show in the slightest, not in her steely tone or steady hands. But you don't consider her your best friend for nothing: you can read her, and you can see, you can
hear the trembling insecurity that's perhaps a remnant of more innocent days. And those insecurities are something you're not going to poke at directly, you don't think. Not when Homura's running on little more than fumes and raw determination.
"Maybe," you say. You don't let your thoughts show on your face, either. "Even so, best friend of mine, I'm saying I've only gotten so far with your help. I've got an outside perspective, true, and that lets me see things differently, that's all. And I'm glad you're around, Homura. I'm glad you're my friend."
"... I'm glad you're around too," Homura murmurs, dipping her head slightly.
"But I'm getting sidetracked," you say, taking another sip from your bottle and waving your free hand about. "The point is - I've... realised that I haven't been the best of friends. I've been keeping a lot of secrets and information to myself, and that's been contributing to the, ah, imbalance. So... I'm making a promise to you, Homura. In the future, I'm going to keep you in the loop more."
Homura frowns at you, pausing in the middle of pulling a cloth through the shotgun barrel. "Why?"
"Because it's not an equal friendship of I make all the decisions," you say. "And I know things that you don't - but
you also know things that I don't. And I provide a different perspective, yes, but it's not the only valid one. So it... it goes both ways?"
"Both ways?" Homura asks.
"If I'm doing something that doesn't make sense to you, you ask me," you say. "Because we're friends and partners in all this,
this. And if I don't get something about why you want to do something, or not do something, I ask you instead of just running you over."
"I will," Homura says. "... thank you."
You smile at her. "And hey. Between the two of us, I bet we can hammer out something better than either one of us alone making decisions. And plans."
"What plans do you have?" Homura asks, perfectly deadpan.
"I-" You splutter, indignant. "I have plans! Kind of."
Homura raises an eyebrow at you.
"... I mean, yeah, I tend to just wing it most of the time," you grumble. You fold your arms and pout. "And you tend to prefer planning things out ahead of time, yeah?"
"Yes," Homura says.
"So... I'm bad at following long term plans," you say with a wince. "It just feels like too much happens on a day to day basis, but if you think it would be helpful, and if you want, I'd be more than willing to work on contingencies with you?"
Something almost like a smile tugs at Homura's lips. "Would you be able to follow them?"
"... Hey," you say, narrowing your eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing," Homura says placidly, returning to cleaning out the shotgun.
"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up," you say. "I'm bad with long term planning. Contingencies, though, and... well. Battle plans. Something I was thinking is that when we actually get more allies, we should start talking about Walpurgisnacht in detail? You know where it appears, right? We can design a battle plan around that, once we know who our key players will be. And little things, like me being able to signal for timestop if needed?"
"Too much is changing," Homura says. She frowns at you, not in anger, or in anguish, just... contemplative. "You've done... a lot. I don't know how to plan for this, either."
"My plans are, were because I had... tried it all before. I could change things. Try a different way." Homura breathes out, a slow, heavy sigh. "None of it worked." Violet eyes lock onto yours. "At least Mikuni's plans didn't work, either."
"Yeah, well, messing these things up is what I'm good at, I suppose," you say, and raise your bottle for another sip. "Still."
Homura shrugs, and returns to cleaning out the shotgun.
"... why do you need to be able to signal me to use my magic?" she asks at length.
"Telepathy is mediated by the Incubator," you say. Your words slow as you speak, a thought striking you. "And we can't trust it. Besides that, I've noticed that veteran magical girls can tell when you're using telepathy."
"Mami is a... special case," Homura notes. "But there may be others who can see."
"Yeah, but not everyone has your amazing pokerface, either," you say, grinning at Homura. "Maybe I could poke you with Grief as a signal? Your right hand, maybe, so that'd leave your left hand free to access your shield and your... hah." Your grin widens. "Hey, if my storage space is hammerspace, then is your shield inventory hammer
time?"
Homura blinks very slowly, hands stilling on the dissected innards of the shotgun.
"... no," she says, finally.
"Please?" you say, giving her your very best pleading, puppy dog eyes.
She gives you a
Look, one that flenses all the way down to the bone, but you don't relent.
You reach for a bit of Grief, vibrating it so that you don't actually have to
speak. "Haaaaaammertiiiiiiime."
"
No," Homura says patiently.
You're the first to look away, but mostly because you can't stifle your giggles any more.
"C'moooon, Homura," you say, grinning and flopping forward on the table. You grab the magazine spring from Homura's pile of shotgun innards, wiggling it in her general direction. "It's a good joke."
Homura doesn't dignify you with a response, returning to cleaning the shotgun with a vaguely triumphant air.
You grumble in the back of your throat and sit up, eyeing Homura.
"Alright. Serious mode for a bit?" you say, frowning slightly.
"Yes?" Homura asks.
"There's two things that come to mind, speaking of information asymmetries," you say. "And they're... kind of related. One is about Sayaka. The other is... did you ever learn
why the Incubator does the things it does?"
Homura sets the shotgun barrel with a click. Her gaze snaps up to you, intent and laser focused all of a sudden, the weight of her attention on you an almost physical thing.
"I'll take that as a no, then," you say. "You know that thing it says sometimes, when someone becomes a magical girl? 'Your Soul has reduced entropy', or some variation on it? That's
literal. It gets some kind of energy payout from people becoming magical girls. And it gets
more from magical girls becoming Witches."
"Does it matter?" Homura asks. Her frown deepens into graven trenches drawn across her brow.
"No. And then again, yes. It doesn't affect what we need to do, why we need to
fight it and keep it away from our friends, but it's the one piece of the puzzle you were missing to help explain things, I think," you say. "To explain
why Kyuubey does the horrible things it does. And I wanted to get you on the same page as me about these things, you know?"
Homura nods. Her expression smooths a bit, and she returns to cleaning the shotgun - well, oiling the shotgun, now. The smell of gun oil hangs heavy on the still air, and you try not to think about whether you're using up all the oxygen around you in the time stop, because down that path lies madness and preventing yourself from asphyxiating.
"What was the other thing about Sayaka?" Homura asks.
"Good news," you say. "Complicated, but good."
Homura raises her eyebrows, motioning for you to continue.
"She's noticed that you care about Madoka a lot," you say. "And- Homura, it's a
good thing, because she
asked me, and she was
fine with it. Because she
trusts you."
"She-" Homura's brush skids off the barrel and paints a stripe of oil across the shotgun's stock and half the table. Wide eyes jerk up to stare at you. "
Sayaka?"
You grin at Homura. "Yeah. Sayaka can be insightful about the
weirdest things, you know? I didn't tell her much. I just confirmed that yes, you care about Madoka, but not much more. And... she was OK with that. Because she trusts you to have Madoka's best interests at heart, even if she doesn't know the details."
"That's- that's good?" Homura says, starting to breathe again.
"It is," you say. You raise your bottle, gesturing towards the frozen door of Mami's apartment in silent salute before taking a long sip. "Because all of Sayaka's stubbornness, her goodwill, her, her unflinching willingness to throw herself in harm's way? All that is on
our side."
Homura hesitates, and nods, looking uncertain.
"She's a good person," you say. "And... she sees you as a friend. Someone to
trust, and she
trusts that you have a good reason to be extra protective of Madoka. She doesn't get
why, but because you're her friend, she's on your side, and she'll
help."
"That's-" Homura takes a breath that shivers in the still air, a shudder rippling through her body. "Sayaka's always been an- an
obstacle."
"Yeah... remember what I said this morning?" You give Homura a gentle smile. "It's really easy to get Sayaka polarized on something, but... you're a good person, too. She just needed a little help to realise that, but she
has. Her weaknesses become
strengths when she chooses to trust someone, and she can be weirdly insightful sometimes. Like that one joke about having met in a past life, you know? She made it last time, I think, and probably this one too?"
"Yes," Homura says. "She did."
"It's a good thing. Sayaka realising, I mean. But half the time, working off the wrong premises..." you shrug. "And to bring it back around to the Incubator, this right here? This is the reason Kyuubey works to undermine trust, to keep us all
alone. Like... you know how it shapes its pitch to look like magical girl anime?"
Homura nods.
"Well. First of all? It shaped society so that magical girl anime
exist and help to disarm potential magical girls," you say. "And then it puts itself in a position where it can get girls to trust it and
isolate them, and then it
tears them down so that they Witch out."
"... yes," Homura murmurs. She's done cleaning the shotgun now, reassembling it with deft, decisive motions. "I've seen that. It's- it's common. I... what about Sayaka?"
"Uh... oh," you say, blinking at Homura. "I'm not asking you to tell her anything you're not comfortable with her knowing - that's what I told
her, in fact. I just confirmed that yes, you care very much about Madoka for reasons that I can't explain, because they're not
my secrets to tell. And she was happy to accept that. She even said she wouldn't bother you about it."
"Oh," Homura says, frowning in thought. She fidgets with the shotgun, wiping the excess oil off the stock and barrel as she thinks this over. "... good?"
"It is," you say. "And... a while ago, I gave her the option to ask about some of the... general secrets of being a magical girl. She already knows about our Soul Gems. If she asks, I want to tell her about where Witches come from. She's a lot more
thoughtful this time round, and a lot calmer, and if we tell her, then she'll know
why it's important not to trust Kyuubey, and why we can't let Madoka become a magical girl."
"If you think it will help, then yes," Homura says. She looks uncertain, fidgeting still with the shotgun. "I... am glad you told me in advance?"
You give Homura a soft smile. "I think it'll make her trust you even more. Because then she'll understand
why you were so set on discouraging her and Madoka from becoming magical girls. You were,
are trying to save them from a horrible fate."
Homura swallows, and nods again.
[] Continue talking about...
-- [] What about?
- [] Sayaka
-- [] How close she is to figuring things out
- [] Madoka, Homura, or Mami
-- [] What about?
[] Write-in (word count limit: 150 words)
=====
I'd like to close out this particular scene next update, so please vote with that in mind if possible.
