Huh.
Homura asking about Sayaka.
Homura
asking about Sayaka.
Homura asking about
Sayaka.
Really, you can emphasize any one word of that sentence and this is... this is
huge regardless. Homura's opinion on Sayaka, one of her biggest...
roadblocks, if you want to call her that, has
changed.
You smile at Homura.
"Alright. I... wow, this is going to be a big topic," you say, and smile. "But I'm more than happy to explain it to you. But, er... let me organize my thoughts a bit? It
is a big topic."
Homura shrugs, just a bit. "We have time."
You give her a suspicious look.
"Was that a time joke?" you ask, raising an accusing finger to point at her against the press of acceleration. "That was a time joke, wasn't it?"
"... no," Homura says, and... pouts.
She'd never admit it, but she is
absolutely pouting right now. And sure, you'd probably call it a microexpression by anyone else's standards, but that is
Homura pouting.
"... sure," you say, unable to suppress your grin as you survey the landscape beneath you. The Ōu mountain range, that rocky spine of Japan, is long gone behind you, and the coast shimmers up ahead in the distance, glitter of the morning sun put on pause by Homura's magic.
Speaking of...
"By the way, Homura," you say hesitantly. "Thanks for... you know, all this. I know you've put up with a lot from me, and I've leaned on your timestop a lot for privacy and resolving things and so on. I don't thank you enough for that. So... before I forget to, again, thank you."
Homura regards you for a long moment before shrugging again. "No. Thank
you."
"I'm going to hug you now." You grin at her, and shuffle over to give her a side-long hug. "I accept your thanks, but I reject your rejection. OK? I mean it. I've imposed on you a lot, and maybe I've helped you - I like to think I have, but that just means the gratitude goes both ways, alright? It doesn't mean one cancels out the other."
"Alright," Homura says. She pauses for a long moment before adding, "... this trip is for my benefit as well."
You snort, grin widening. "Sure. But I'm not thanking you for this trip, I'm thanking you for all the...
time you've spent helping me."
"... alright," Homura says again.
"Good," you say, and shuffle aside to give her her personal space. You don't think she
dislikes your hugs, but she's not
that comfortable with touch... come to that, you should ask. "Homura? Just... being sure, but do you mind my hugs?"
Homura responds with a long, slow blink.
"... no, I do not," she says.
"OK," you say, and beam at her.
The two of you lapse into a comfortable silence as you leave the west coast of Japan behind. You contemplate Homura's question, pulling yourself into a cross-legged position as you think. Absently, you raise a backrest for yourself, and Homura, just to help against the press of constant acceleration, and just to be sure, you make sure you keep Homura's Gem clean. After asking for permission, of course.
Sayaka is
not a simple person, and it's not about framing things correctly or trying to get Homura to do anything. You don't
want to do that, especially not to your friends. There's no
stakes here, but-
Homura's your friend. Sayaka might well be right - Homura's your
best friend. And that, right there, is the thing. Sayaka's probably your second closest friend, if you don't include Mami, and you... wouldn't. Not
just your friend, at this point.
Huh. There's a nice thought, one that lights a warm, happy glow in your chest, but you're getting off the track here.
By the time you feel ready to
explain, you're already slowing, the peninsula Vladivostok is situated on looming up ahead as you trace the coastline. Shoals of glimmering lights dot the ocean, ships and fishing boats chasing each other into blurred streaks as you zip past.
"Alright," you say, and smile, glancing at Homura. "Almost there, Homura, and I hope you know where to go, because I'm not entirely sure."
Homura leans forward, squinting. "Follow the ships."
"... thanks," you say drily, and grin at her. "I meant, y'know, where best to land and stuff, smartass."
"Get to the base first," Homura says.
"Fair enough," you say. It's
obvious from the air, that odd fish-tail shaped natural formation. You can see a number of warships docked, looking like little grey toys from your vantage point.
"North side," Homura murmurs, pointing.
"Gotcha," you say, and direct your flight platform over, zipping down towards the base. There are fences and walls forming neat cordons, even well inside the base, institutional paranoia saturating every square meter of sandy ground. You spot the spindly barrels of an anti-aircraft emplacement on a small rise, not too far from your landing area in a courtyard.
Homura hops off the platform, absently checking the string around her wrist.
"This way," she says, after getting her bearings.
"Alright," you say, hopping off after Homura and letting your Grief platform dissolve. "Mind if we walk and talk? I've more or less got my thoughts in order."
"No," Homura says. "This is a good time."
"Right," you say, and grin again. "So... Sayaka."
You rub your chin, thinking about it for one more moment as you follow Homura across the courtyard, skirting carefully around the frozen spectres of Russian Navy personnel.
Away from the harbour and the ships and the drydocks, you note.
"Honestly... she's... well, OK, first of all? She's a teenager. We all are, more or less," you say, and smirk at Homura for a moment before letting it fade. "The thing is, that's not
all there is to her. I... hm. I'll start with the
facts about her: She believes that there is a moral right, and a moral wrong. In the
absolute. There are things that are good, there are things that are bad, and a couple irrelevant ones like... I dunno, getting a drink of water."
You grimace, considering.
"I'm not going to get into the
specifics of moral philosophies or whatever, but the point is that Sayaka
does believe in all that," you say, shaking your head. "Yeah?"
"Yes. She..." Homura says, nodding, and then frowning. "She usually believes I am evil. Except this time." She gestures vaguely towards you.
"I'll get to that, I promise," you say with a smile. "But let me finish establishing several things first. Beyond and related to the morality thing, she's judgemental. She jumps to conclusions quickly... and her temper doesn't help either. Yeah?"
Homura nods again, leading the way down the road. She's giving you her full attention, though, soaking in the information.
"And Sayaka's stubborn. But she's also
loyal," you say. "Putting it another way, she's quick to form opinions about things and
people, classifying them as good and bad, and then
sticking to those opinions almost beyond reason."
"Yes," Homura mutters. "I agree."
You give her a quick smile before continuing.
"She's from a relatively poor family, and is best friends with two relatively rich girls. Madoka, and Hitomi," you say, waving vaguely. "I don't need to tell you about Madoka and Hitomi's financial situation, compared to Sayaka's. And I'm
sure I don't need to tell you about Sayaka's crush on Kyousuke... who is, all joking aside,
extremely talented in his own right."
"Yes," Homura says. "That's what people say."
You squint at her suspiciously. "You've
heard him play, haven't you?"
Homura shudders, and looks away.
"... look, I'm not even asking about that one time, I'm just saying, he's talented, that's all," you say. You can't help the smirk, though. "
Anyway. The point is that Sayaka has an inferiority streak, because... no, not an
inferiority streak. Just... not a lot of self-worth, because she can't help but compare herself."
"I see," Homura murmurs. "Here."
Here, it turns out, is past a barbed-wire fence and sign proudly proclaiming the presence of the Naval Infantry Headquarters Armoury. And beyond that is a squat, institutional grey building, Homura striding right past the time-locked guards and heavy, anti-vehicle barriers. You follow the road up to the vehicle loading bay, ignoring all the parked trucks and striding up to the heavy steel doors.
"You sure?" you ask, giving her a grin. "I don't mean that in an... insulting way, just, you're asking, so I want to make sure I'm doing a good job explaining."
"Yes," Homura says. She presses the back of her hand to the steel door, a pulse of purple magic gaining you access. "It makes sense."
"Alright, good," you say, smiling and following Homura into the building. "So... yeah. That all feels kind of negative, but... well. Stubbornness is also loyalty, quick judgements are also decisive. She's not a bad person, just, er, see above."
Homura exhales quietly, regarding you. "I believe you," she says quietly. "She's not an enemy. She never was. A detriment, because she..." A half-hearted, fingers-curled gesture.
"Yeah, I know what you mean," you say. "She's fundamentally a good person. She's a good friend, if you can get on her good side, and as I said. She's incredibly loyal."
"She is," Homura admits. "It's... always been a problem."
Except this time goes unsaid, the words hanging in the air.
You smile, because you know how to answer this.
"Well. Let's start with Mami," you say, because where else would
you start?
No, you're totally not biased.
"Mami is her idol," Homura murmurs quietly.
"Yep," you agree. The heavy tang of oil and metal and something acrid hang in the air as Homura leads you further into the building, dodging around more personnel before reaching a set of heavy cargo elevators. Homura makes for the massive stairwell beside it, skirting clear of the elevators.
"Mami..." You smile. "You know how she presents herself. Flawless, bold, a hero of Justice and Good. And my own... biases aside, that's not even wrong. She's everything Sayaka wants to be. Talented, driven, a force for the improvement of the world. A
hero."
"She doesn't know everything," Homura murmurs.
"No, she doesn't," you agree. "But still, Sayaka sees Mami, and instantly, Mami is a Good Person. Mami's friends with Kyuubey - and Mami's a Good Person, so her friend must be a Good Person too. First impressions."
You spread your hands.
"Sayaka immediately trusts Kyuubey by extension," you say. "And seeing Kyuubey vulnerable... and seeing
you attacking Kyuubey? And I know you better than that, but to her, you came off as cold, uncaring, creepy and generally suspicious, you know? And seeing you in opposition to Mami and Kyuubey?"
You let an imaginary weight tip your hands over to one side.
"She concludes you
must be a bad person," you say simply. "And Homura, I
know how hard things are for you. I'm not blaming you for any of it, yeah? Just explaining things from her point of view."
"I understand," Homura says. "We're here."
And
here, finally, is an underground storeroom, lit from above by powerful halogen lamps. Row after row of crates fill the room, and without even reading the labels, you
know what's within.
You laugh delightedly. "
Shopping!"
"Yes. We'll avoid the actual armoury rooms in use. Too noticeable," Homura murmurs. She ignores the forklifts -there must be some vehicular access that you bypassed- and starts for the crates, sliding a crowbar out from within her shield.
"No need for that," you say. You grin, and pull enough Grief from your hammerspace to form hands. "Just point out what you want."
"Ah. Thank you," Homura says. "... can you read Russian?"
"Uh... yeah," you say, shrugging. "Why?"
"I'm looking for heavier ordnance," Homura says, frowning. "I think these are rifles?"
You peer at the nearest crate. "Yeah," you agree. "I'll take a look around, and in the meantime, back to Sayaka!" You pause for a moment, recapturing your train of thought. "So, then... initial opinions. And then what typically happens is that
something hits Sayaka in her sense of self-worth. This time? It was the fire. Getting pulled out of it by us, having to rely on the Shizukis, on her
friend for help. Previous times..."
You sigh as you browse along the neat rows of crates. "Well... I'd rather not go into previous times. But you know what I mean, right?"
"I do," Homura says, hesitating for a moment.
"Yeah. Well. Sayaka takes that hit, and... starts thinking, what if she just
did something instead of being useless and talentless and just... living a cushy life without any
real pain in her life?" you say. "So she makes her Wish. And then it's a straight slide downwards from there, because she's not going to accept help from someone who's, in her eyes, morally wrong. And of course she's not going to
burden her friends!"
You rub your hand over your face, stopping at a row of crates.
"Noble," you mutter. "Very noble, but you know how it ends. Happily, things are different this time... also, are you interested in grenade launchers?"
"Yes," Homura murmurs.
"Alright," you say, and haul the lid off the crate.
Carefully, trying not to damage the seals. Homura leans forward to inspect the contents and nods, hauling forth a grenade launcher. A particular
impressive specimen at that, with double, vertically aligned barrels, proudly proclaimed to be the DP-64 by the label.
"Ammo is elsewhere," Homura notes, and makes the launcher vanish into her shield. "We'll grab it on the way out."
"Cool," you say, grinning. "I kind of want one, but, uh, I'm not sure what I'd
do with one."
"... you can have one if you want," Homura says with a shrug, motioning towards the rest of the crates.
"Nah, I'm fine," you say, and start prying the rest open.
Between you and Homura, you clean out a good few
rows of neatly stacked crates, and continue onwards to the
next storeroom. You replace the lids carefully behind you, of course. And in the next room you strike jackpot, finding considerably heavier ordnance - mortars by the dozen, massive, tubes and stands and baseplates in separate, heavy crates.
"Anyway," you say, picking up the thread of conversation as Homura starts claiming mortars. "Back to Sayaka. This time. She trusted Kyuubey because
Mami trusted Kyuubey. Same as always. And she..." You grimace unhappily. "She saw Mami break down in tears. Crying about how Kyuubey lied to her and pretended to be her friend."
You take a breath, and close your eyes for a second. Just to be sure, you drain your Soul Gem.
"Bam. Right there and then, things changed. Kyuubey was no longer Good. And
you were opposing Kyuubey, and you were actually
helping Mami when you tried to hunt it down," you say. "So
you must be Good. And you helped Sayaka, too! And maybe she could have written it all off, because you were still..."
You make a vague gesture. "... standoffish. And then she finds out about Walpurgisnacht. And everything
clicks. You
have a reason, a
good reason, for doing what you do, and you've helped her, you help Mami, so you're... you're Captain Ahab. One girl out against the world to slay a giant monster for the good of
everyone. And instantly, she's one hundred percent on your side. She's your wholeheartedly your friend. She trusts you, she jokes around with you, she helps you."
"I've... I see," Homura says, pausing by another open crate.
"I'm not too interested in talking about a
next time," you say. You lean against a crate. "We're going to make it
stick. But the point I've been trying to make here is... yeah, Sayaka sees things in black and white. But get on her good side, and, well, she'll die for you."
Homura blinks at you.
"Yeah, I know," you say, clearing your throat. "It's not much of a figure of speech, when it comes to her. She's still..." You heave a sigh, prying open the next crate for Homura. "I mean, in strict pragmatic terms, she's still 'a risk'."
You grimace, making sure to airquote
that.
"If we were to push her away, or make it
feel like she was being pushed away, or if she felt she wasn't being
useful or something," you say. "But... look, we've got your timestop, and- oh!"
Homura wordlessly offers you a bottle of water, and you beam at her as you take it, cracking the seal and taking a swig before continuing.
"Thanks, Homura. And continuing, we've got, well, me. If she starts spiralling, we damn well hunt her down and pull her out of it," you say. "I... note to self, I need to think about talking to her about Grief spirals. It's... just personality predisposition, I suppose. At the worst of times, she refuses help from
anyone."
"I've tried to help her before," Homura says quietly. "I don't want her to die. I don't want her to drag Madoka down."
"I know," you say, and give Homura a proud smile. You perch on the edge of a crate, tilting your head back to look at the dusty ceiling idly swinging the bottle of water by the neck. "The thing is, it goes back to what I said, about the morally right and wrong mentality. If you're evil, then accepting help from you would be evil."
Homura nods.
"You're not evil. But it's about first impressions," you say. "And... really, I think what would have worked? Just
getting to her before Kyuubey did, before she could form a negative opinion of you. Tell her about Walpurgisnacht, tell her that you're gearing up to fight something monstrously evil, and that would have worked."
"I couldn't have," Homura murmurs. "Because-"
"Then Madoka would know," you finish for her, and sigh. "I understand that. Though... that said? Here and now, it's part of why telling Sayaka about your loops would work, I think."
Homura swallows, tired amethyst eyes flickering up to yours for a second and then glancing away. "We... we should move on. The ammo dump is outside."
"OK," you say, beaming at Homura, and following her as she leads the way out. "Are you comfortable discussing the topic, Homura?"
"I... no," Homura murmurs. "But we should."
You blink at her, and smile. "Well. Thank you for hearing me out. I'd give you a hug, but I don't want to make you
more uncomfortable. So, the loops..."
By the time you finish marshalling your thoughts, you're out in the open, following Homura past a pair of patroling guards.
"Honestly? Telling her would cement your position in Sayaka's mind that you're a
Hero," you say. "Someone to be admired. Someone who's been through so much, but is
still fighting. You'd have her so firmly in your corner you couldn't get her out with a crowbar. And she wouldn't be wrong in the slightest."
You give Homura a sunny grin, before letting it fade a little.
"And it'd help her learn from her past mistakes," you say. "We could
tell her, for
sure, that running off on her own
will get her killed. Tell her that we're
fixing things
together, and she's part of the team."
You get another silent nod from Homura, and take a few steps forward to touch her shoulder gently. "I know it's scary," you murmur. "But... remember what I said? Sayaka is a really,
really good friend. If you tell her about all this, she'll be willing to keep the secret, too, because
she's on our side."
"I..." Homura falters, barely audible even with the silence of the timestop.
"Alright," you say, and decide not to press more. "Does... I, no. I know I've said a lot. I hope it all makes sense, and just... I'm not forcing you to do it. If I come off as pressuring you, then I apologise."
You hesitate, and shake your head, deciding to shut up and give Homura time to actually digest what you said. "Tell me if there's anything I can help you understand better?"
"I will," Homura murmurs.
You beam at her and take another swig of water, letting the conversation lapse into a comfortable, companionable silence. Homura leads you to the ammo dump, a guarded bunker surrounded by a considerable buffer zone. The air
reeks of metal and oil and some acrid and chemical, the combination of a dozen different types of propellant - from bullet to mortar.
Homura makes it all disappear. Well, not
all of it, but she claims everything that's locked away in the bunker, unseen by human eye. Cans of ammunition, cannister after cannister of mortar shells, crates of grenades... All of it tucked away into her shield.
And finally, you head out, Homura halting in her tracks and giving you a thoughtful look.
"Do you think you could fly something heavy back?" she asks.
"Yeah?" you say, raising an eyebrow. "Got something in mind?"
"Missile launcher truck," Homura says. "Won't fit into my shield."
"Ah," you say, and crack your knuckles. "Show me where they are. And, uh, where're we going to hide them in Mitakihara?"
Homura shrugs. "Warehouse. Cover them with a tarpaulin, close the door, they just look like trucks."
"That... works?" you say dubiously. "Then again, it's not like they have to be hidden for
long, I suppose. You're the expert?"
Homura gives you a flat look.
By the time you leave the base, you're towing
three of the massive missile launcher trucks, secured individually on their own platforms of Grief. The S-300 Triumf, surface-to-air-missiles, you think.
Honestly, it rather goes against the unstated-but-apparent policy of "no immediately obvious thefts", but who are you to argue?
Homura relaxes slightly as you leave Vladivostok behind, eyes fixed on the distant horizon.
[] Anything more to chat about on the way back?
[] After the raid...
- [X] Hug Mami
- [X] See the others off at school
- [] Meet with Oriko to discuss Homura and the potentialbomb
- [] Contact Yuki to discuss Airi and a potential visit
- [] Contact Kyouko to see how she and Yuma are doing
- [] Something else?
[] Write-in (word count limit: 150 words)
=====
You'll finish up the shopping trip with grabbing some pocket money next update, and then continue on to the next activity. Vote accordingly.
<3?
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