Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
-
- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard open voting
- Location
- Europe
There's definitely things about the skills-jutsu interaction we don't understand yet. If we can't efficiently get roll bonuses out of different jutsus, what good are they? Maybe they are used as a check to see if we can roll the main skill in the first place? For example, if we want to make a stealth roll while in an open field we would need to make a henge roll against a fraction of enemy's awareness, or something.
Anyway, we don't really know the system well enough that there's reason to panic about putting few points to henge. I guess that was my original point.
@eaglejarl Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest | Page 130
Anyway, we don't really know the system well enough that there's reason to panic about putting few points to henge. I guess that was my original point.
@eaglejarl Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest | Page 130
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Shiny, thanks.
- Location
- not here
Such as "you wont dare kill us just because I decided to charge blindly into this obvious trap"? Hmm, there is a point here, I'm quite sure, now only to find it...
But more seriously. I'm far from suggesting that you cannot kill the mother. I'm quite certain you won't hesitate for more than a moment if the opportunity presents itself , where her death would serve some kind of purpose(such as provoking us to make protagonist declare war against hidden mist for your own perverse amusement), or when it becomes a distant consequence of our choices (it is a rational quest after all).
Rather, I have hope and faith that among many goals and purposes behind this, quest was to provide us players with some measure of satisfaction. At least when it doesn't stand against exploration of rational Narutoverse. Or your amusement. Or a bad dice-roll.
On the second thought, we are so utterly doomed...
Now all we only have to find Nagato and persuade him to revive all the people from the swamp... Hmmm...
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- Location
- Somewhere in Gensokyo
You know, now that we are no longer marked for death, but are in fact marked dead, have we won the quest?
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Oh, I'm sorry, you thought it was Mist that had you marked for death?
How... delightful.
- Location
- Yes.
@scooterboo Mist still has us marked as missing-nin in the Bingo Book; there's just no reason to take them off, since bounties might turn up alive later.
Jackercracks
In a British accent
- Location
- England
Well, the tutorial/first arc anyway.
Ridiculously Average Guy
I'm you, but stronger
- Location
-
So, something I just realized.
For all these plans of crossing into Iron, we never considered that we would have to be dodging border patrol. Which means we might be noticed.
Better to stay in Fire for a little while to pick up some basic infiltration and/or disguise (while moving around the edges of the country), then slip into River or something.
Sure, it means more low level risk in our future than the initial high level risk of hopping the border, but if we pull it off we go unnoticed.
Also, Iron has a crashed economy and is way too close to Mist for comfort.
For all these plans of crossing into Iron, we never considered that we would have to be dodging border patrol. Which means we might be noticed.
Better to stay in Fire for a little while to pick up some basic infiltration and/or disguise (while moving around the edges of the country), then slip into River or something.
Sure, it means more low level risk in our future than the initial high level risk of hopping the border, but if we pull it off we go unnoticed.
Also, Iron has a crashed economy and is way too close to Mist for comfort.
Votes already been called.
Chapter 11: The Iron Escorts
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
"Not bad," Mari said. "Your initial plan sucked, but after I gave you that infodump you really turned it around and came up with something good. Okay, let's get started."
Kurosawa, Wakahisa, and Mori all exchanged surprised looks. That was a much more positive response than they'd expected.
"What? You were expecting a lecture?" Mari said in amusement. "If you thought I wasn't going to like your plan, why did you propose it?"
"It...was the best we could come up with?" Mori said. "We lacked essential knowledge, and I registered so many failure modes but I lacked the information to prevent them, and if they are not prevented then the plan will fail and we could all die but we lacked knowledge and I kept seeking answers but—"
"Aaaaand, we're breathing," Mari said. "We are exhaling stress and panic." She blew out an exaggerated breath. "We are inhaling calm and relaxation." She drew in an equally exaggerated breath. "And, exhaling...and inhaling...good. Now. Yes, you did not have enough information. That's how it's going to be basically all the time in the real world. Having enough time to create a good plan, having enough information to create a good plan...those are schoolroom things. They rarely happen out in the field, so you need to learn to do the best planning you can and then adjust on the fly. That said, let's talk about it.
"Iron is a reasonable place to go," she said. "Obviously, there's nowhere that's good to go when you're a missing-nin...that's kinda the point. If there were, then all the missing-nin would go there, so all the hunter-nin would go there, so it it would be a bad place to go. Anyway, there's no ninja village in Iron, so there's no organized competition. Without an organized ninja presence there will be a lot more demand for our services...especially since they probably don't see many jōnin-led heavy combat teams."
She paused, the corner of her mouth twitching in amusement as she waited for the question.
None of the genin wanted to be the one to admit ignorance, but Wakahisa broke first. "Why not, Sensei?" he said. "Wouldn't heavy combat teams be more likely to survive whatever they come up against?"
Mari smiled in satisfaction. "Nope," she said. "Heavy combat teams have the lowest survival rates of any team composition. Scout teams optimize for speed and awareness. They see threats coming and they outrun them. Infiltration teams are optimized first for not being detected and second for escaping. Etc. for other team types. Heavy combat teams, on the other hand...well, they're all about the Righteous Face Punching. Find a threat, run up and punch it in the face. Sooner or later, they run up against a threat that can tank the punch and punch back harder, and then the heavy combat team gets wiped. But hey, don't worry--I'm sure you guys will be the ones who beat the odds and survive to your thirteenth birthday!"
All three genin were starting to look a little green.
"Relax," she said. "I'm just screwing with you."
Wakahisa's sigh of relief was audible.
"Well, sorta," Mari said. "It's true that heavy combat teams have the highest mortality rates, but experience makes a huge difference--it's mostly new genin who get it in the neck, and you guys have a little salt on you. Don't die for another six months and you've got a decent shot at making jōnin. The second jump in mortality comes when you're a new-minted jōnin, because people get there and, first, they start thinking that they're all billy badass and, second, they start getting bigger and badder missions. Anyway, if you survive for another six months your odds of surviving five years are pretty good."
She frowned. "Now, as it happens, I'm pretty motivated to see you guys not get dead too soon, since without you I'd have to cook my own dinner. Best thing I can do on that front is to give you a slightly wider skillset.
"Anyway, yes, Iron is a good choice. Dealing with villagers is also good; it's a way to get you three some infiltration training without too much risk."
She paused, scraping the last of the beans out of her bowl and savoring them. She licked the spoon clean, then set the bowl down with a sigh.
"I'm going to bed," she said. "I'll leave you three to the washing up, and then you'll need to stand watches. In the morning we'll be heading out for Iron. G'night!" She turned and vanished into the shelter she'd built.
The genin exchanged worried looks and then started cleaning up from dinner.
o-o-o-o
Sneaking out of Fire was an interesting experience. When the group had come in they'd had over thirty ninja, most of them fresh genin; there had been no way to completely hide their tracks, so they'd mostly focused on speed. The falconer had kept his bird in the air as a forward scout and one of the jōnin had lagged behind to cover their trail as well as possible, but they'd still been making good time.
Inoue-sensei, on the other hand, was more interested in stealth and misdirection than speed. They stuck to the treetops wherever they could. When they had to travel on the ground they waterwalked; it didn't prevent them from leaving tracks but it did lower the ground pressure, thereby making the tracks fainter. Inoue would occasionally stop and be completely still and silent for up to ten minutes at a time; the genin were never quite sure what she was searching for or how she was doing it, but they stayed quiet and tried not to distract her.
When she wasn't practicing being a statue, Inoue would give them lessons without warning.
"Ten minutes ago we passed a tree with a patch of white moss on it. How many branches were on the tree below ten feet?"
"How many birds were in that flock? What kind of bird? One of them was missing feathers on its breast--what position was it in the formation?"
"All of you Transform. Kurosawa: six-year-old girl from a farm family, dressed for school. Wakahisa, small-town grandmother going to market. Mori: left-handed male carpenter's apprentice. Ancestors, all of you are awful. Try again. No, still awful. Oh, come on, Kurosawa—girls don't walk like that! Wakahisa, not every grandmother has palsy! Mori...ugh. Don't get me started."
"'Hello, little girl, I see you're going to school. What's your favorite class?' ... Oh my gods, Kurosawa, just because you're a little girl doesn't mean you have to make puppy-dog eyes! Try it again. Really? That's what you're going with? You're supposed to be six! Do you honestly think that would be a six-year-old farm girl's favorite class?!"
The entire experience was nerve-wracking.
Nerve-wracking or not, they reached Iron without meeting anyone and without Inoue-sensei actually carrying through on any of her histrionic promises to give up and drown herself because there was no point in training such hopeless students. (Although Hazō noticed that she was just as quick with the praise as with the sarcasm, so none of them ended up actually in tears.)
By the time they crossed the border it was after nightfall, so they slept in the trees. Inoue-sensei had rope and a half-dozen nets in one of her storage scrolls; they made very serviceable hammocks. Still, they were careful to have someone on watch.
The genin shot for it to see who got first choice of watch schedule; Hazō lost and ended up on second shift. Second was always the worst because you slept for not-enough hours, then woke up and stood watch while struggling to be fully aware, then slept for not-enough hours, then got up and had a full day ahead. He was perched on a branch, pinching himself to stay awake when...
rolz.org said:
...he heard the sfft, tunk! of a thrown kunai slamming into flesh just above his head. A shower of blood soaked his back; a moment later sixty pounds of beheaded snake that had been lowering itself from above fell on him before sliding off the branch and smacking into the ground below.
"For future reference," Inoue-sensei said drily. "Being on watch means you're supposed to see the threats before they bite you. Good thing I decided not to actually sleep. C'mon, the blood and the carcass will attract scavengers. Give me your shirt and let's get out of here." She vanished his bloody shirt into a storage seal and ninety seconds later the group was awake and on the move.
o-o-o-o
Two days later they'd found a good campsite in the canopy of a giant oak. The tree's roots were moderately mobile, and had choked out all the surrounding trees, leaving a clearing in the immediate area. At the base of the tree was a den of several dozen chakra-enhanced weasels. They were the size of small dogs and their fur could release a blast of Lightning energy to stun their prey; nothing else in the area seemed to want to tangle with them, but they weren't able to climb, so the ninja could jump over the clearing in order to safely reach the tree. With the weasels as perimeter defense they were relatively safe, although Inoue still slept lightly.
The first day was taken up getting established, training, and scouting. The morning of the second was more training, and in the afternoon Inoue-sensei judged them ready to try out their technique for real.
"Kurosawa, Transform up to early twenties," she said. "You're taking lead—you're Yamada Taro, the jōnin leader of this team. I'm Fujihara Hanako, one of your genin. Your goal is to ingratiate us with the villagers and get us a paying job." She glanced to the side and laughed. "Put the jealousy away, Wakahisa. You'll get your turn. You and Keiko are each going to take lead on contact with the next couple towns."
Hazō did everything he could to keep his face calm but it must not have worked. Inoue-sensei reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, kid," she said seriously. "Take a breath. You can do this, I promise. It's a tiny village in the middle of bloody nowhere. The stakes are about as low as they get. There's zero threat here; if it doesn't work we can retreat, no harm done. These people might not want to work with a particular ninja, but they sure aren't going to do anything to piss one off...such as, by way of example, ratting him out. They'll know that we could wipe out their pissant little village before breakfast, if we were of a mind. Just sound confident, be respectful, and you'll knock their socks off."
Hazō nodded, swallowed the lump in his throat, and led the way into the cluster of twenty-odd small huts on the shore of the lake.
Half a dozen fishing boats were out on the water, pulling in the catch for the day. It was a nice day and most everyone was outside--hanging wash, mending fishing nets, preparing food, or doing the thousand and one other small tasks that made up the fabric of village life.
With no way of knowing what the social hierarchy was, Hazō just went up to the first person he saw. She was a brown-haired woman, her youth well in the past but old age still up ahead. There was a sewing basket next to her, but she had taken a break to smoke a pipe and pick at some chicken and noodles.
"Excuse me," Hazō said in the deep and most-definitely-a-grownup voice of his disguised form. "My team and I are passing through; we're experienced escorts and we thought we would see if anyone needed to travel."
The woman eyed him up and down. "We see very few ninja here, master shinobi," she said after a moment. "May I ask how long you expect to be in the area?"
Hazō frowned. "I didn't say we were shinobi," he said. "What makes you assume we are?"
The woman looked at him for a moment, then shrugged. "There are four of you, one adult and three younglings. The young ones follow behind you in a group, keeping their eyes turned out. You walk like the walls better get out of your way. You carry pouches at exactly the spot one would reach for a weapon, and those pouches are full of long heavy things that are probably kunai. Finally, there are only four of you and you just walked out of the forest."
"Ah," Hazō said. "Yes. Well, you are correct, ma'am. I am...
rolz.org said:
"...Yamada Taro, jōnin leader of this team. We have meat and steelback bristles for trade, and would be interested in paying work if there's any to be had."
"Mm-hm," the old woman said. "I see. Well, I'm Tanaka Mariko. Could I see your meat, please?" Yellow teeth flashed as her face split in a wide grin. "Oh, it's been years since I said that to a handsome young man!" She cackled and tipped him a wink.
Flustered, Hazō pulled out the storage scroll and unsealed it, removing a few of the steaks they'd cut from the steelback.
"Top quality, as you can see," he said, fighting down a blush.
"Hmmmm...not bad," she said. "Not bad. I would trade you one of the steaks for information, so long as you promise not to hurt me if you don't like the information."
"What sort of information?" Hazō said guardedly.
She snorted. "Now, master shinobi, if I told you the information then I couldn't trade it, could I? Suffice to say, it's something that will help you in future trading. I'll also point you to some good-paying work."
Hazō rubbed his chin. It seemed harmless enough; it wasn't like one steak was much compared to the amount they had, and it was easy enough to get more. "All right," he said. "One steak, and I agree not to hurt you. Now, what's this information?"
Mariko selected the steak and set it aside, wrapping it in a rag from her sewing basket.
"First of all," she said. "Most people know that ninja can change shape, and we know that any ninja who turns up in a podunk town like ours is likely to be a missing-nin, so we're always going to be looking close, trying to tell if he's going to kill us all. Master shinobi, you walk like a dangerous man, but you act like a teenager—you blush at a raunchy old woman's joke, and you hesitate when you bargain. My suspicion is that you're another genin—" She saw his expression of dismay and raised her hands placatingly. "Not that it matters," she said. "No villager in the world is going to care who or what you are as long as you actually have ninja skills and you're willing to deal instead of rob. We don't have much, but we're happy to do business with any ninja who comes through. Kami knows, there's always plenty of work for shinobi."
Hazō was blushing furiously; to conceal it he wrapped an illusion-disguise around his physical disguise, making his face seem calm and undisturbed.
"Thank you for your instruction, Miss," he said with a deep bow. "May I ask what sort of work you have?"
She rubbed her chin and took another draw on her pipe. "Well, there's some waterbugs that have been causing problems for the fisherman--they got Lil' Genzo last week. We'd pay to get rid of those. Our potter needs more clay; there's a good deposit of it not too far from here, but it's a three-hour trip by six men when you need to guard yourself in the forest. With you lot as guards, it probably wouldn't take more than twenty minutes to get there, and they'd be able to bring back a lot more clay if you're willing to carry, or if you've got some of those magic scrolls.
"Let's see, what else? Food's always a big one. We'd pay for anything you wanted to hunt up. We'd pay more if it was one of the dangerous things. We'd like better defenses around the town; I know a lot of your type have ninjutsu that let you move dirt around, make walls, that sort of thing. The whole town would pay for that. If we had the defenses we could expand the fields a bit; we'd need to bring in more water to irrigate, though. If you're willing to take people through the forest we could organize a trade trip down to Yuni. Do you have any of those magic scrolls? If you could use those for us, we could take a lot trade goods along, make more money for everyone."
XP Award:
+10 points: "Coming up with good plan that opens up lots of good story opportunities."
+1 point: "Plan did not involve genocide or gratuitous evil."
Vote time!
What job(s) do you want?
- Deal with the waterbugs that killed Lil' Genzo
- Hunt food
- Hunt anything dangerous in the forest
- Build defenses
- Caravan guards!
- The clay job
Writeins accepted
Voting closes 12pm UTC Wednesday 2016-01-20
EDIT: Added 'The clay job', which I had forgotten.
EDIT #2: Yay, XP!
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- Location
- Somewhere, probably Earth
Why? This is ideal. They understand missing nin are short on work, and think of us as a bunch of genin. As long as we work for our pay, we'll have plenty of work here.
On that note, I propose we go after those water bugs. They seem like a pertinent threat, and were directly mentioned to us.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Man, now I get @eaglejarl when he says we have this weird thing about really evil plans.
And holy crap I kinda like this old lady. Kinda odd she actually informed us our cover was broken and advised us on fixing our mistakes, but very welcome. I don't know if we should hang around any place where our cover was broken, but anything in particular we need we should try to obtain.
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
See?! It's not just me!
- Location
- Yes.
Yeah no this screams of "I want you to stay here as long as possible so my ninja contacts can come over and eat you alive". FUCK THAT WE'RE OUT
Less murdery note:
-Waterbugs are a likely known quantity that won't take too long. It guarantees combat but if they're what I think they are Noburi is gonna troll them.
-Clay escort mission is likely fast as fuck but takes risk of unknown enemies.
-Hunting carries the same risks as the escort mission but guarantees combat.
-Building defenses is time-consuming and we don't have the jutsu for it. Inoue might, and this would be a good opportunity to wheedle out a Doton or something from her, if we knew she had one.
-Going for a trade to Yuni is a great way to establish our original plan of escorts, and should be our "going-away" mission.
We need to prioritize our goals:
--If we want to stick with our Iron Escorts plan we should go for the caravan. Start up, get them to the place safely, and establish contacts with the town so when we come back we have potential jobs.
--If we want to take the swiftest job available we should kill the waterbugs. Clay mining sounds fast but we'd probably have to wait around while the guys mine to avoid them getting eaten.
@eaglejarl @Velorien @AugSphere @Jackercracks Two quick questions:
--Can we ask about the waterbugs? What they look like, how they fight...?
--Can we ask how safe the actual clay deposit is, assuming the miners are left alone?
Less murdery note:
-Waterbugs are a likely known quantity that won't take too long. It guarantees combat but if they're what I think they are Noburi is gonna troll them.
-Clay escort mission is likely fast as fuck but takes risk of unknown enemies.
-Hunting carries the same risks as the escort mission but guarantees combat.
-Building defenses is time-consuming and we don't have the jutsu for it. Inoue might, and this would be a good opportunity to wheedle out a Doton or something from her, if we knew she had one.
-Going for a trade to Yuni is a great way to establish our original plan of escorts, and should be our "going-away" mission.
We need to prioritize our goals:
--If we want to stick with our Iron Escorts plan we should go for the caravan. Start up, get them to the place safely, and establish contacts with the town so when we come back we have potential jobs.
--If we want to take the swiftest job available we should kill the waterbugs. Clay mining sounds fast but we'd probably have to wait around while the guys mine to avoid them getting eaten.
@eaglejarl @Velorien @AugSphere @Jackercracks Two quick questions:
--Can we ask about the waterbugs? What they look like, how they fight...?
--Can we ask how safe the actual clay deposit is, assuming the miners are left alone?
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
I dunno, that's up to @Velorien. I just name the darn things, I don't bother what they look like or what they do. (Well, aside from "kill Genzo-chan.") Probably huge and hairy and with lasers on their heads or something.
How safe the actual clay deposit is? It's...clay. It's not going to hurt you. Are we having a gazebo moment?
ClawClawBite
Mad Engineering!
- Location
- Seattle, WA
I would avoid anything that ties up our storage scrolls. Any sensible merchant would want to keep them when they were full of trade goods in case we ran away with them, and if we do that, we are having to trust them, or make sure we get them back, and can't run if we need to without losing them.
Waterbugs and Hunting seem like a good first round, and also, a good chance to work on team tactics.
Waterbugs and Hunting seem like a good first round, and also, a good chance to work on team tactics.
- Location
- Yes.
Ok, @eaglejarl. Is the clay deposit defensible against external threats like monsters such that the miners can do their job without us present?
- Location
- USA
I think that actually worked really well for us. she now thinks we are 4 missing genin, aka 4 kids, this elicits a measure of mercy towards us that adult ninja wouldn't get.
And on top of that they view us as honest enough to trade and work instead of murder and rob.
Also, genin have the lowest of all bounties and she doesn't know which village we come from.
- Location
- USA
We are ninja and we know where they live, also they literally can't move between towns without us escorting them.
We are ninja and we know where they live, if we wanted to steal their shit we would slit their throat at night and carry everything that is nailed down
- Location
- Mu
The old lady is awesome. Inoue is a great teacher. I am on board with this whole situation.
Inoue's awareness roll was a really nice, unobtrusive way of demonstrating the skill gap between a Jounin and Genin.
Inoue's awareness roll was a really nice, unobtrusive way of demonstrating the skill gap between a Jounin and Genin.
Old fisherwomen in the middle of nowhere are known for their extensive contact networks of assassins, it's true. You've got to look underneath the underneath though. She's actually a henge'd shadow clone of Orochimaru. CONSTANT VIGILANCE
"The Clay" could easily have been a colloquial nickname for a chakra-infused apex predator capable of earth style jutsu, knowing you lot.
- Location
- USA
More like "I want you to stay here as long as possible so you can help my village so we have fewer deaths and more prosperity". they are literally losing lives to the wildlife, the first mission she gave us was to cull the animals who ate a dude. If she had ninja contacts then this wouldn't be a thing
Is it possible that they might turn us in in the future? sure, everything is possible. So we might want to stay on the move and leave after some time in this town to go the next town.
Also, how exactly will she send a message to said contacts? they literally can't trade with neighboring towns because the animals will eat them
The best part in us being outed as a kid as that 4 genin are actually not worth much in terms of bounty, if we were a real jounin we would be worth a lot more in bounty to turn in
Although we would also likely slaughter them all if we were turned in, which we established when we first decided to come to this country
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