Omake: Bringing in the Trash
It was a dark and dreary evening in the rain-slicked city of Doofania. The atmosphere was both oppressive and comforting, the sky black as tar but refreshing to breathe. Seemingly the best of both worlds for a mad scientist with a gimmick and his squeaky-clean denizens.
"Feh!" cried the lanky vulturous toon as he pushed a fetid shopping cart to the third floor of his Doofenshmirtz Evil Motel. The cart was indefinitely borrowed from the Doofenshmirtz Evil Grocery Store and filled to the brim with garbage.
"The nerve of that recycling bin! These nincompoops don't appreciate a dirty day's work!"
Though several toons had gladly emigrated to the new country that had cropped up months prior, the same could not be said of this one. He grumbled and griped as he dragged his cart upwards one stair at a time. The elevators could not be trusted with this task because sustainable energy gave the balding vulture no confidence whatsoever. The wind turbines might carry words of his plot to their green overlord. Doofenshmirtz may go through a lot of purple wallpaper, but those highlights weren't fooling anyone!
Shoving his mislain wagon past the angry scrap metal door that complemented the neo-neo-brutalist architecture of the building complex, the vagabond toon entered his makeshift lair and carefully reviewed his ill-gotten gains from across the Tri-State Area.
Expired air purifiers. Outmoded diesel engine parts. Ancient relics from the Console Wars. Two crates of defective ACME products slated to be thrown atop a comically-large landfill. Clumps of crickets yet to be fully pulped. The cart itself!
The twisted vulture couldn't help but cackle wildly! "Ahahahaha ha ha haa! This is everything I need and more to re-sully the dirty name of pollution that Doctor Doofensmhirtz has dared to make clean!"
The flies that circled his head and top hat buzzed in chorus with his laughter.
In the past, this Distressingly Degenerate Deacon of Dirtiness was known as Percival McCandid. Born as the heir to wealth and nobility, his mother's obsessive cleanliness had driven Percival away from the prospect of living with any degree of sanitation at all! Now he is the unkempt undertaker of grimey grime, using his literacy of litter to paint the world in shades of garbage!
"There is nothing evil about green, and I'll prove it with my latest creation!"
The only thing the villainous toon swept up was his cape, in order to perform a dramatic pose with a finger extended outward in perfect synchronization with a flash of lightning and a boom of thunder!
"Start watching your back, Doofenshmirtz, BECAUSE THE INQUINATOR IS HERE TO FIGHT DIRTY! AHAHAHAHAAAA!!!"
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