Ok, let´s see what we got going there...
Xanatos Enterprises
[ ] Offer to purchase climate tech from Doofenshmirtz
DC N/A
36+38+35+8=117
Mirage has let you know your good pal David has come to you with an offer! Apparently he's interested in that climate technology you managed to develop a while back, and rather than try to reverse-engineer it himself, he's willing to pay you a tidy sum for the rights. You wonder what it's for!
Offer: 3 Income for access to Climate Controlled Environments
Do you take Xanatos' offer?
[ ] Agree
[ ] Decline
[ ] Make a Counter-Offer
-[ ] Write-In
Hmmm, normally I´d be all for agreeing to it since A) it´s our...least distrusted rival making the offer (I´d say that he wants it to make the climate in Alaska more agreeable to his holdings there) and B) 3 Income would just about be enough to mathematically neutralize the Rainfood-Inator (which used to be in the lead last time we got that choice), but I am a bit unsure about the wording of the offer.
Does him "paying for the rights" mean that he would become the only one allowed to use the tech legally and that we´d have to pay him for using it in case we need to fall back on that tech in te future,
@Made in Heaven ? If no, then I´d be fine with the original deal of "3 Income in exchange for allowing him to use the tech", but if we do lose access to it entirely, I´d like to hash out a counter-offer that let´s us continue using the tech - in turn I´d be willing to lower the price to 2 Income to show David that we are willing to find common ground, if need be.
Drakktech
[ ] Research immersive VR with ENCOM
DC 130
53+25+55+20+5=158
Decent Success
The Parvati System has undergone sweeping changes in the past few months as ENCOM and Drakktech continue to improve upon it. Already hailed as revolutionary, this virtual reality console has made significant steps towards mitigating the issues that have plagued VR in the past, such as steep costs to entry and symptoms of motion sickness. Multiple game studios are developing titles for the system set to release around Christmas of the following year, and rumors from inside ENCOM whisper of even further improvements to the immersion; to the point of truly "going inside the game".
...Ewww, that last phrase sounds very ominous - as if the MCP is trying to abduct anyone who uses the Parvati system.
We might wanna intensify our research into the Tron-angle of things, because that front seems to be heating up, with Shego being forced to enter as another "combatant".
Negaduck
[ ] Steal lots of chemicals
DC 120
89+72+48+50+4=263
Critical Success!
When the government wasn't looking, Negaduck stole forty trucks full of chemicals. In addition to copious amounts of benzene, propanone, and terebenthine, he has also taken large quantities of precursor chemicals that could be used to synthesize all sorts of unpleasant things… or maybe just drugs. Either way, that's terrible.
This doesn't have that much to do with you, but you'll admit it is starting to get rather worrying to see Negaduck doing another concerning, scary thing every month or two. You could look into it you suppose, although you doubt it will be easy.
Investigate Negaduck's Plan Intrigue Action unlocked!
The Circle
[ ] Conduct San Fransokyo beautification
DC 100
16+30+24+6=76
Failure
The Circle, a community in San Fransokyo known for its devotion to the public, recently attempted to beautify San Fransokyo without much success. Their attempts to reduce pollution, homelessness, and graffiti ultimately went nowhere, but a lot of people noticed the group out and about, attracting more attention than they've had in a while.
This… reminds you of some report you got from Max a while back, that mentioned a 'group of nutters' in San Fransokyo. Maybe you want to look into it?
'Investigate the San Fransokyo Cult' DC reduced! DC revealed as 110!
*sighs*
Those two problems just had to pop up in the same turn, huh? Seems like we need to push back my Investigation of Zootopia (which I had planned earlier to make use of NOWCA) a turn in favor of one of these fuckers - between them, I am favoring goign after ND, because his danger is the more explicit one.
As for the whole NOWCA-Zootopia biz, we´ll just use that delay and Research Lizzys Animal Uplink Armor to buff our Animal Agents abilities even more in the meantime, okay?
Faiseurs de Rois
[ ] Distribute superpowers
DC 110
75+28+26+20 (???)+5=154
Great Success
An exclusive group of "power brokers" has been making waves in the US by offering the ultimate prize to the highest bidders: Superhuman abilities. There's plenty of cause to be skeptical about the stories, but enough people are talking about friends of friends taking up devastating loans, vanishing under dodgy circumstances, and being caught committing or stopping crimes in costumes months later that the news is running with the idea that it's real. The level of trial and error involved in trying to artificially produce powers on purpose is downright agonizing. You know that from experience! If someone cracked a way to do it reliably (if expensively), it really is newsworthy.
Middleton Drug Cartel
[ ] Sell more drugs, baby
DC 80
96+20+40+10=166
Critical Success!
The arrival of actual, genuine superpowers for hire on the national scene has led to a massive boom for the various super-drugs gaining popularity across the country. Everybody wants the high of flying for a few minutes if they can get it, and Shego's utter failure to control the drug ring running rampant across her lands has poised them perfectly. They must be making a killing. Thankfully, there hasn't been much of a push for them in Doofania due to your more proactive policies and the constant state of insanity your criminal element operates in.
Outside of that, people are showing up shooting lightning from their hands all over the country, with the results one would generally expect giving complete novices access to unreliable and unpredictable bootleg drug powers. Then there was the headline you saw about a musclebound psycho bouncing here, and there, and everywhere, inflicting property damage and grievous bodily harm that's beyond compare.
Hmm, those two occurences are as likely to be connected (with the Cartel supplying de Rois with the means to safely induce Powers) as they are to be at odds (de Rois muscling in on the Cartels "turf" and the gangers taking offense to that)...
We´ll have to wait and see probably...
Gwen Grayson
[ ] Enact Sky High Audit
DC 60
76+18+9=103
Accountable Success!
Rumors abound of an in-depth internal audit of Sky High's staff and curriculum. Judging by the covers of the newsletters Mirage leaves on her desk, it's likely a fair few tenures are going to be cut short soon. For her part, Gwen Grayson has publicly assured investors that this will not affect the coming school year.
So some heads at Sky High might start rolling and get exchanged? Fine by us, since we never really had any dealings with Gwen directly (back at the Sands Gala, Shego was the one dealing with her directly - we only made use of the ensuing mayhem)
Glomgold
[ ] Build ???
DC 110
65+58+29+5=157
Decent Success
Glomgold has been working on a new construction project over the past few months. Very little is known about what he's working on aside from it being on the site of former prison Aquatraz.
Alcatraz, you say? That´s just off the coast of Sokyo - meaning that him doing that could be either a collab with at least one of the Zaibatsu or him trying to take the bread outta their mouths - so it´s another "we´ll have to see what happens" as with the Super Power issue.
Olympia
[ ] Reach out to Doof on an issue
DC 70
47+33+36+3=119
Great Success
Olympia has approached you with an offer: they're interested in sponsoring a superhero, and the one they have in mind is none other than your former employee, Hego! According to Winston Deavor, he sees great potential in the man and wants to officially take him under a corporate sponsorship! Since Hego was publicly known to work with DEI in the past, they were hoping you would… introduce them. You get the sense he'll probably try even if you don't, but it's an open question if he could even find the man.
Do you help Hego meet with Winston?
[ ] Yes
[ ] No
...On the IC hand, we got no real reason to decline, since we already agreed to lowkey collab with Olympia on the Cape issue, but on the OOC hand Evelyn might plan to use Hego as a scapegoat for her Screenslaver antics 8if those are still a thing here and didn´t get butterflied away but something).
Really torn on that issue, guys.
[ ] Collaborate with Doof on an OS
DC 120
53+24+32+23+20+2=154
Cyrus Bortel was a little concerned about a collaboration with DEI, and so he was very pleased to have a non-supervillain to work with, his employer notwithstanding. He and Alan got along very well, and along with a crack team of interns, managed to produce a perfectly functioning OS. Compared to the monolith that is ENCOM and rising star Waddle it'll only have a small part of the market share… but it's far better than the current state that DoofOS is in. Bortel wanted nothing to do with the 'eldritch mess of spaghetti code' that your former OS was, so if you want to make it reverse compatible, you'll have to do it on your own time. Furthermore, Olympia has summarily vetoed every iteration of a name with 'Doof' or 'Inator' as part of it, leaving you with only a few that you could agree on:
Pick a name for your new collaborative OS:
[ ] DaedalOS
[ ] IcarOS
[ ] ChaOS
Your new OS will grant 2 Income per year!
Honestly, it was to be expected that Olympia wouldn´t give a fuck about making their combined-with-us OS reverse-compatibel with DoofOS - so we´ll just have to do it ourselves at some point.
As for the name, I am in favor of DaedalOS for its connotations (really smart Anctient Greek inventor) compared to those of IcarOS (snot-nosed brat who got too uppity and died because of it) or ChaOS (primordial eldritchness that spawned all manner of nasties alongside the good stuff)
Funtelligence
[ ] Form a research agreement with Doof
DC 140 (Reduced by XP)
7+38+28+30+30+20=153
Decent Success
To be continued in Interlude: Tutelage
--[x][Learning] Form a research agreement with a Zaibatsu: Research AI (Wendy Wower) (Collab)
DC 140 (Reduced by XP)
7+38+28+30+30+20=153
Decent Success
Secret Interaction Unlocked! The Wheels of Fate Turn…
To be continued in Rival Reports
Right, that one is still open...
So, it´s an interlude about a Decent Sucess with some kind of "Secret Interaction"? Could mean anything (although I´m still hoping that somehow relates to lowering the DC off the ODD transmission, because otherwise I am not seeing us suceeding at that one without either serious luck or a collab).
Judge Doom
[ ] Announce Flying Sentinels
DC 120
63+27+23+29+5=147
Decent Success
Finally embracing the future and the potential of the technology, Doom has announced a new line of Sentinel luxury vehicles. What better way to avoid traffic than in style? The Sentinel 280 flying sports car and Sentinel 400 flying limo will be available for civilian purchase in the coming months. The announcement was punctuated by the Sentinel sponsor, the Frank Sinatra android, driving away from the event with a robotic Rat Pack in a flying limo of their own. Apparently the old specter has enough of a smooth side to convince Sinatron to play spokesman. Or maybe he just has some blackmail on him.
...Sinatron is involved in that one for some reason? Weird...
As for Doom, that´s probably a Stew action, meaning that with our hands tied by the fallout of "Kataklysm", we can´t really contest him there on equal footing and would have to approach things from another angle...sucks hard to have our hands full.
Khan Industries
[ ] Undertake Khan Air contract with USAF
DC 100
43+24+34+32+5=138
Decent Success
In another measure to rebuild goodwill with the US government after their Thembrian fusion power blunder, Shere Khan has quietly ensured that Cape Suzette offers the use of its elite fighter planes (All Khan Industries models, naturally) in aggressor roles during live Air Force combat exercises. This isn't totally out of the kindness of their hearts -- these "red air" contracts are quite profitable -- but Mr. Khan has brought forward a variety of planes to better test the skills of the American pilots.
Overall, the training exercise went as expected. The US fighter pilots tested their mettle against Khan's own top-notch aces, with both parties leaving the exchange more experienced for it. The Khan Industries planes were showcased in a public event afterwards, allowing military and private concerns to see footage of the combat exercises and the planes' price tags.
Don Karnage
[ ] Pillage & plunder the West Coast
DC 90
23+25+11+20=79
Failure!
Shere Khan isn't the only one testing air forces as of recent. The infamous air pirate Don Karnage has taken his flagship carrier, the Iron Vulture, on a tour up and down the West Coast USA. Unfortunately for him, the US Air Force had a few things to say about that, successfully fending off the majority of his assaults on noteworthy targets and leaving the canine empty pawed.
So SK continues patching up things with Uncle Sam? Good for him, especially since indirectly he gave Don Karnage a bloody nose that way (by buffing up the Air Force´s abilities enough for them to protect the West Coast) - I still remember that brigand taking a stab at us when we were carting Malfs castle to our turf (although I remain flabbergasted about what a pirate from the Pacific theater was doing on a route that should have logically led us over the Atlantic theater)
Mark Beaks
[ ] Collect on insurance
DC 90
88+29+33+2=152
Spectacular Success
Mark Beaks has successfully collected insurance for the Waddle HQ arson, giving him the funds to build another headquarters that he declares will be "even better than the last one." He promises new employee break rooms, smoothie bars, and an advanced fire suppression system that should nip any prospective arsonists in the bud. Despite this it's going to take a while to finish, and even the logical payout of an insurance contract can't ruin your good mood as you think about that stupid parrot having to rough it with only a 4G internet connection. Beaks has seen a large outpouring of sympathy on social media for the perpetrator of this vile deed, leading him to...
[ ] Investigate who did this
DC 140
74+19+12=105
Failure!
Mark Beaks' crowdsourced campaign to find the perpetrator behind the Waddle Arson was completely unsuccessful. The investigation stalled after the police failed to find a reliable witness to the crime, leaving it a mystery still. Beaks has an open bounty of one million WaddleDollars for any information that will aid authorities in solving the case: This has the approximate value of a dozen licensed songs, some of last year's blockbuster movies on digital, and a few more extra lives in a mobile puzzle game via in-app purchases.
You're not particularly concerned.
While I am a bit annoyene that Beaks had insurance coverage for that kind of damage (though it was only logical in hindsight) and therefore he won´t be facing too big financial problems, at least his insurance might now consider his "threat level" to be higher and drain him for more costs in return for still covering him. On top of that, he utterly failed to pin it on us, so Doof wish in Technors vicinity ("I want to cause Mark Beaks considerable financial troubles" - most likely didn´t happen - "and I don´t want to be held accountable for it" - did definitely happen, although some members of the villain community do have their suspicions of course according to Laser Pirate) went true at least in parts.
Plus, Beaks "bounty" on whoever did this seems to be rather inconsequential, so we are leaving this feud for now on the upswing.
ENCOM
[ ] Improve LEGACY security
DC 150
88+58+25+20+6=197
Great Success
Once again, ENCOM has pushed out another security update for their Legacy system that somehow avoided crashing and burning. Seemingly learning from their previous mistakes, ENCOM's devotion to security has ensured that Legacy is virtually impregnable. CEO Ed Dillinger appeared in a press conference touting the new update and declaring system security to be ENCOM's greatest priority for the foreseeable future.
Coupled with potentially dragging Shego onto the digital front with their collab on the Parvati system, that leaves Encom in a worryingly strong position right now.
But since we aren´t really in any position to do anythign about it, that´s it for now.
Wizard Sports
[ ] Promote the Puppy Bowl
DC 70
39+33+20=92
Success
Popular broadcaster Wizard Sports has unveiled an incredible new sensation in the world of sports- dogs that play basketball! To the confusion and amazement of all, The Wizard seems to have done it again, producing an entertainment extravaganza as literal, actual, non-anthropomorphic dogs play literal, actual basketball with teams and rules and everything. What a time to be alive.
...I really hope that the name "Wizard Sports" isn´t literal there, otherwise I am worried about the Magical Masquerade a bit right now.
Aside from that, I don´t see why we should care that much about normal dogs playing basketball.
Square Enix
[ ] Release Verum Rex
DC 90
100+48+28+25=201
Amazing Critical Success!
The long-awaited new title from Japanese company Square Enix released to unprecedented acclaim. Boasting over a billion dollars in sales their first month, action-RPG Verum Rex has already earned critical acclaim for its innovative mechanics and captivating world. The games released simultaneously on the PlayPlus, PC, and in a move that was expected to be a disaster but has proven inexplicably successful, new VR platform Parvati. Copy sales suggest Verum Rex is likely to join the best selling games of all time, and a franchise is likely inevitable.
Since I´ve got no context at all about any possible KH connotations, I´ll let you guys figure that one out.
???
[ ] KConsolidate KControl of the Doofanian Underworld
6+28+24=58
???
[ ] Contest control of the Doofanian Underworld
65+22+40(???)=127
At first I thought that the one with the crossed-out Ks might be Kat trying to move back into Doofania for a rematch, but since he seems to be hunkering down in NYC (more on that issue later), that doesn´t seem to be the case.
As for the other party, either that contest is Intrigue and therefore they can´t be PB (not lining up with his stat block) or it is another stat - most likely Martial in that case - and it probably is PB (he did say a while ago that he would move into Doofania to joust with Russ)...whatever is true, the contesting party won quite clearly, meaning that whoever wanted to muscle their way in probably got thrown right out again is currently lickign their wounds.
Could go either way for us.
Candace Flynn
[ ] Bust your brothers
DC 999
26+13=39
Completely Expected Critical Failure!
That weird teenager who stalks your interns was snooping around the other day. Nothing really came of it after her mom dragged her off. Apparently this is normal? You hope her mom decided to look into that therapist.
...*sighs*...
Candace really needs help getting over her obsession with busting P&F - it used to be funny, but now it´s just being pathetic and self-destructive on her part.
Not only that, but she is harassing people that work for us at least part-time, so we simply can´t allow that to continue for reasons both compassionate and callous.
I really hope that her mother is phoning Technor about Candance´s problems...that would be the best for everyone involved
Kat
[ ] Torment Doofenshmirtz
DC 40
68+33=101
Critical Success!
You received an absolutely infuriating email- from 'Agent K', no less- showing that hairless lilac tabby grinning malevolently at you as he eats caviar straight from a wine glass. The rest of the picture shows a beautiful sunset over New York City.
This… this really didn't do anything to you, but it sure does make you upset!
Booo-hoo, Kitty managed to slink off and is now rubbing his "victory" into our face.
Bad for Kitty that we have an ace up our sleeves, considering where he buggered off to...
*Good relations with the one in charge of his hidey-hole*
Could we get Xanatos to take care of Kat for us?
Yep, definitely something we could and should do - after all, Kat greatly endangered part of the Masquerade with his stunt in Doofaniam which David probably knows about at least in part.
I am not saying that we should tell David to crack down on Kat with all the power he can muster, but it would be a sign of *being neighbourly* so to speak to phone him about "say David, you got wind of that hubhub that happened over in Doofania a few weeks ago, right? The one where a bunch of cats tusseled with my guys for a bit and where some weird stuff was going on in space the whole time? Well, turns out that the pussycat in charge of it all escaped my retaliation, now has superpowers - don´t laugh, I´m serious - and apparently now is hunkering down in your sphere of power over in NYC itself. You might wanna keep an eye on that one, okay? Ok, see ya"
Would keep Kat contained for a bit at least and prevent him from stirring up shit for someone we care about enough to not wantign them to struggle too much.
Random Event Roll: 43
??? steals the Declaration of Independence
You heard a strange news report about some delusional madman breaking into the National Archives and stealing the literal, actual Declaration of Independence. This really doesn't apply to you, but it's… kinda interesting? At least it gave those mean old Feds a black eye.
*shrugs*
Feds are now occupied a bit with someone other than us - nice to have, but not immediately important
As for all those votes, as I said, I need some more time to mull over them.
If Doof steals the declaration of independence from whoever stole it, does that mean we can declare Doofania as independent?
...OMs already said that *that´s now how property laws and similar stuff work in either RL or this quest*
Additionally, us stealing that thing would only make the Feds angry at us again with no real gain from it, so I am against it.
Hm...what if we made a counter offer and tell Xanatos he can have it for free on the condition he collaborates with us on a project?
...Why?
We already can approach anyone we got open relations with about collabs (like David) - there is no reason to just throw away a valuable and explicitly sought-after piece of tech for something we can just get by *simply asking the party in question*
Sry, but that´s just dumb.
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