"Are you really bringing this up again?" recently promoted Sub-Director Doctor Theodore Riddle asked.
You are Secret Agent Bob Russ. And you are bringing it up again.
"It's very suspicious." You respond.
"The whole town is absolutely certain he did it. Even if they weren't, this is a job for the local police, not you."
"Sir." You reply carefully. "You've read my report. There are… mitigating factors. Commissioner Cleaver is very new to his position, and close to the case himself. That's not beginning to consider the inconsistencies, and the potential relationship of the mayo-"
"Agent Russ." Riddle responds, heavy-set eyes glaring beneath a bare scalp. "I assure you I am aware. I do not need to be a psychic to know where this conversation is going, as you have insisted on having it a half a dozen times before!"
"If you would just give me a few days in Las Angeles." You plead. "This doesn't add up."
"And what if it doesn't?!" Riddle snaps, frown lines deepening. "The country is falling apart at the seams and here you are worrying about a housecat. This 'Bonkers' is one singular inkstain in an ocean of injustice. Even if he were innocent, we have dozens of other problems to deal with, all of which are likely to decide far more than the fate of a single man. You know this. The Department does not have time to indulge your sentimentality towards a single Anthrofictus-"
"A what?" You ask, mostly to distract yourself from whatever Riddle had been about to say.
"Some… new term filtering down from R&D. Apparently the new research department has theories. Waste of money if you ask me. The point is, Agent Russ, that you are already assigned to one of the most dangerous and unstable threats the government is aware of. Your efforts in keeping him under control are far more vital than a single homicide. You've been far too lenient with the Doctor lately."
"The Good Doctor is not as great of a threat as I had originally anticip-"
"Aha! It may have started as a way to emotionally distance yourself, Agent Russ, but it has become a term of endearment. You've grown fond of the doddering fool, and it's blinded you to his dangers."
You bow your head slightly and choose to say nothing.
"Don't imagine you can hide your thoughts from me." Riddle said archly. "You know I'm right. Just last week he sent a gaggle of his lesser whackjobs out to terrorize the populace in the name of Science."
"The G…Doctor Doofenshmirtz is chaotic, but he can be m-"
"Then manage him!" Riddle replies. "Control the chaos. I take it you're supposed to be good at that."
You frown, and in response Riddle adopts a conciliatory tone. "Looook. If you really feel the need to take on a new task, why not see if the Doctor needs anything done by his 'government friend'?" His voice hardened. "It'll give us more cover if we ever have to turn on him."
---
You trudge back into DEI headquarters, a hint of moroseness breaking through your usual emotionless facade. You sigh, riding the purple elevator towards the upper floors in a moment dragged out to eternity.
"Ahhh, Agent Russ, there you are!" Doctor Doofenshmirtz cries happily as the door opens with a ding. "Just the man I wanted to see. I have a job for you!"
"Oh?" You reply, trying to cover your malaise with your normal neutral professionalism. "What do you have for me Doctor?"
"Well! Have you been following the Alonso Hawk case?"
"Wh-?"
"As you probably remember, but I'll remind you anyway just in case you forgot, we worked very hard to deal with the issue that was old Alonso when he was working against us. His sudden death right after his usefulness as a tool ran out seems highly suspect!"
You realize dazedly that Doofenshmirtz is repeating, almost word for word, the mildly irritated rant you may or may not have given in the breakroom last week.
"Highly suspect." The Good Doctor repeats. "I want you to look into it for me. See what you can see, find what you can find, spy what you can spy with your little spy eye. And… so forth. I've already booked you a hotel, you'll have enough time left in the day to check in and get some sleep before starting. Now go out there and bring me the skinny!"
The Good Doctor leaps slightly, smiling beautifically. "Oh boy, giving out secret missions is fun. This must be what Monobrow feels like! Ahhhh." he says happily.
"Mmmmmhn." He added, concernedly.
"Huuuuuhn." He finished uncertainly.
You smile, despite yourself.
"I'm on it."
---
Thanks to a successful personal action last turn, you can pick up to three heroes to purge from your rolodex. You will no longer have their contact information and will be unable to hire them.
[ ] Momakase
[ ] Mesmerella
[ ] Warren Peace
[ ] The Birthday Bandit
[ ] Radium Dog
[ ] Duff Killigan
[ ] Fredzilla
[ ] Buzzsaw Girl
[ ] Dingo
[ ] The Fujitas
[ ] Megavolt
[ ] Naughty Kitty
[ ] Motor Ed
[ ] Go Go Tomago
[ ] Gomez
[ ] Jet Headstrong
[ ] The Arrow
[ ] Toolbox
[ ] Man-Moth
[ ] Vladimir Keitawa
[ ] Roman
Tinkering with your inators will allow you to choose the inator that goes into effect for next turn.
[ ] The Deviled-Egg-Inator
(One random, non-villainous hero becomes stereotypically, mustache-twirlingly evil for the next turn, gaining +5 to rolls on anything they would consider evil and -10 to anything that they consider good.)
[ ] The Garum-Farm-Inator
(Must devote 1 income and 1 successful Stewardship action within 3 turns, or suffer public opinion drop and a supervillain attack)
There will be a six hour moratorium on voting.