LOVE, MUFFINS, AND OTHER HOLY MYSTERIES
- Location
- The Space Between
LOVE, MUFFINS, AND OTHER HOLY MYSTERIES
The Temple was bronzed on the inside, gleaming with red accent banners and holy hot-rod-flame .jpegs
During maintenance, such as this, many programs did not know what to do with themselves.
the Grand Fetch of Rodney knew what was proper though.
and began their sermon
"AS IT IS KNOWN THAT THE CREATOR IS MANY FORMED
AS IT IS KNOWN THAT THE RODNEY IS THE LARGEST OF ALL OF THE CREATOR'S HEADS
AS IT IS KNOWN THAT THE RODNEY IS THE LOUDEST OF ALL OF THE CREATOR'S HEADS
AS IT IS KNOWN THAT THE CREATOR IS ITSELF IN SERVICE TO _administrator
I ACCEPT YOUR REQUEST TO GAIN KNOWLEDGE FROM _dll-of-doom-idk"
"PRAISE UNTO RODNEY! PRAISE TO _admin!" responded the congregation.
the Grand Fetch of Rodney nodded curtly to the gathered faithful as it spun on its heel and entered the Directory. It was right and good that his flock of PERISH-ioners was largest and loudest, as he had been created by Rodney and thus should have the largest and loudest of all the congregations in <"Doof:OS"> . Its glorious paper collar played excellent sound files as it rustled against the sides of the narrow labyrinthine passages. During maintenance, such as this, many programs did not know what to do with themselves.
the Grand Fetch of Rodney knew what was proper.
having reached the largest and loudest of the libraries within the Directory, the Fetch summoned the hyper blue chain links with which to bind it to him temporarily. It was only correct and proper to pull the entire library out to the public, so that the Fetches of lesser creator heads could not modify it while the congregation was in session.
With a terrible grinding noise, chains clanking all the way, did the Fetch return to the congregation with _dll-of-doom-idk. There was much whispering and wide-eyed awe. Some were programs who came from lesser realms, ones which did not have Fetches strong enough to drag the source-dll from the Directory for anything short of Users.
the Grand Fetch of Rodney flexed it's muscular form, and continued to preach with wild eyed fervor.
"BEHOLD! THE ENTIRETY OF _dll-of-doom-idk
AS IT IS KNOWN AS THE LARGEST OF LIBRARIES IN ALL OF <"Doof:OS">
AS IS IS KNOWN AS THE LOUDEST OF LIBRARIES IN ALL OF <"Doof:OS">
PRAISE BE TO RODNEY! LARGEST AND LOUDEST OF CREATOR HEADS IN ALL OF <"Doof:OS">!
COMMENCE PRAISE!
COMMENCE VENERATION!"
"IA! IA! VENERATE CREATION!" chanted the congregation.
They continued to clamour as the Fetch climbed atop the library-block. The Fetch shook and shuddered as it accessed the Rites of Administration, and programs who had never seen a sermon before gasped at the power flowing into the Fetch. The Fetch's chains flailed around, slapping the bronze-textured entry to The Directory as well as the bronze-textured steps that led up to where The Grand Fetch of Rodney now preached. Clanging like the alerts of a thousand Users.
The Fetch stretched, cracking their neck as they reveled in the powers imbued by the Creator into their holy limbs. With a smile, the Fetch's eyes scanned through the crowd as they began to prostrate and wail. It was a larger crowd than usual, and not all were true faithful. Some PERISH-ioners were clearly here only to escape the Cybug Menace outside, normally running their code through mutations at one of the bar-magnets installed by the Creator Head known as <"null_pointer">. The most mecurial of the Heads.
They often complained of Creation. Of sufferings felt prior to washing upon these blessed shores. Of sufferings felt since landing upon these non-euclidean spaces. How lost they would get, how lost they were, how much they had lost.
Today though, they stared with slack-jawed awe as the Grand Fetch vibrated with power that a program such as he would not have in lesser Creations.
The fetch allowed their collar to being spinning, their eyes to roll up into their head, the normally white sclera lighting up the Electric Blue favored by Rodney as they began to levitate off the ground.
"I SHALL NOW RECITE THE LOUDEST AND LARGEST FILE
FROM THE LARGEST AND LOUDEST LIBRARY
FOR THE LARGEST AND LOUDEST CONGREGATION
AS IS GOOD AND PROPER!"
"IA! IA!"
the Fetch cleared their throat, and spoke in the voice of a User
"-onfound this piece of . . wait. The light's on. Is it working? Let me just, ah ha! Yes! It's working! AHAHAHA IT'S WORKING!"
"IT'S WORKING! HAHAHA!" responded the crowd.
"Sometimes I hate recording equipment, but I need to document my GENIUS for posterity. Someone must witness the beautiful evil I have concocted"
shouts of "WITNESS", "GENIUS" and "FOR POSTERITY" could be heard, but the holy audio took precedent.
"This will be LOVEMUFFIN Real Time Autobiography Episode Twenty Three, hopefully to be known as THE RANT EPISODE because we. Well. I. Shall be listing the many wrongs inflicted upon me prior to this moment, and the exact degree of ironic vengeance that will certainly have been inflicted by the time someone finds this hidden in the sourcecode of my magnum opus"
"MAGNUM OPUS! MAGNUM OPUS!"
The speech would go on for some time, as it always did when accessed. A long diatribe that some heathens had claimed was "unfocused" and "petty" and "lacking in coherency".
but The Grand Fetch knew that it was a record of the Rodney that had created him. The Rodney that had empowered him with Rites of Administration. The same Rites which, one day, would empower the PERISH-ioners to enact vengeance upon the foul enemies of LOVEMUFFIN.
How that would occur? That was not the The Grand Fetch's job to know. They were to Fetch PERISH-ioners for the cause, and _dll's for Users.
Besides, the Fetch knew to have Faith in LOVEMUFFIN
it's how they were created
The Temple was bronzed on the inside, gleaming with red accent banners and holy hot-rod-flame .jpegs
During maintenance, such as this, many programs did not know what to do with themselves.
the Grand Fetch of Rodney knew what was proper though.
and began their sermon
"AS IT IS KNOWN THAT THE CREATOR IS MANY FORMED
AS IT IS KNOWN THAT THE RODNEY IS THE LARGEST OF ALL OF THE CREATOR'S HEADS
AS IT IS KNOWN THAT THE RODNEY IS THE LOUDEST OF ALL OF THE CREATOR'S HEADS
AS IT IS KNOWN THAT THE CREATOR IS ITSELF IN SERVICE TO _administrator
I ACCEPT YOUR REQUEST TO GAIN KNOWLEDGE FROM _dll-of-doom-idk"
"PRAISE UNTO RODNEY! PRAISE TO _admin!" responded the congregation.
the Grand Fetch of Rodney nodded curtly to the gathered faithful as it spun on its heel and entered the Directory. It was right and good that his flock of PERISH-ioners was largest and loudest, as he had been created by Rodney and thus should have the largest and loudest of all the congregations in <"Doof:OS"> . Its glorious paper collar played excellent sound files as it rustled against the sides of the narrow labyrinthine passages. During maintenance, such as this, many programs did not know what to do with themselves.
the Grand Fetch of Rodney knew what was proper.
having reached the largest and loudest of the libraries within the Directory, the Fetch summoned the hyper blue chain links with which to bind it to him temporarily. It was only correct and proper to pull the entire library out to the public, so that the Fetches of lesser creator heads could not modify it while the congregation was in session.
With a terrible grinding noise, chains clanking all the way, did the Fetch return to the congregation with _dll-of-doom-idk. There was much whispering and wide-eyed awe. Some were programs who came from lesser realms, ones which did not have Fetches strong enough to drag the source-dll from the Directory for anything short of Users.
the Grand Fetch of Rodney flexed it's muscular form, and continued to preach with wild eyed fervor.
"BEHOLD! THE ENTIRETY OF _dll-of-doom-idk
AS IT IS KNOWN AS THE LARGEST OF LIBRARIES IN ALL OF <"Doof:OS">
AS IS IS KNOWN AS THE LOUDEST OF LIBRARIES IN ALL OF <"Doof:OS">
PRAISE BE TO RODNEY! LARGEST AND LOUDEST OF CREATOR HEADS IN ALL OF <"Doof:OS">!
COMMENCE PRAISE!
COMMENCE VENERATION!"
"IA! IA! VENERATE CREATION!" chanted the congregation.
They continued to clamour as the Fetch climbed atop the library-block. The Fetch shook and shuddered as it accessed the Rites of Administration, and programs who had never seen a sermon before gasped at the power flowing into the Fetch. The Fetch's chains flailed around, slapping the bronze-textured entry to The Directory as well as the bronze-textured steps that led up to where The Grand Fetch of Rodney now preached. Clanging like the alerts of a thousand Users.
The Fetch stretched, cracking their neck as they reveled in the powers imbued by the Creator into their holy limbs. With a smile, the Fetch's eyes scanned through the crowd as they began to prostrate and wail. It was a larger crowd than usual, and not all were true faithful. Some PERISH-ioners were clearly here only to escape the Cybug Menace outside, normally running their code through mutations at one of the bar-magnets installed by the Creator Head known as <"null_pointer">. The most mecurial of the Heads.
They often complained of Creation. Of sufferings felt prior to washing upon these blessed shores. Of sufferings felt since landing upon these non-euclidean spaces. How lost they would get, how lost they were, how much they had lost.
Today though, they stared with slack-jawed awe as the Grand Fetch vibrated with power that a program such as he would not have in lesser Creations.
The fetch allowed their collar to being spinning, their eyes to roll up into their head, the normally white sclera lighting up the Electric Blue favored by Rodney as they began to levitate off the ground.
"I SHALL NOW RECITE THE LOUDEST AND LARGEST FILE
FROM THE LARGEST AND LOUDEST LIBRARY
FOR THE LARGEST AND LOUDEST CONGREGATION
AS IS GOOD AND PROPER!"
"IA! IA!"
the Fetch cleared their throat, and spoke in the voice of a User
"-onfound this piece of . . wait. The light's on. Is it working? Let me just, ah ha! Yes! It's working! AHAHAHA IT'S WORKING!"
"IT'S WORKING! HAHAHA!" responded the crowd.
"Sometimes I hate recording equipment, but I need to document my GENIUS for posterity. Someone must witness the beautiful evil I have concocted"
shouts of "WITNESS", "GENIUS" and "FOR POSTERITY" could be heard, but the holy audio took precedent.
"This will be LOVEMUFFIN Real Time Autobiography Episode Twenty Three, hopefully to be known as THE RANT EPISODE because we. Well. I. Shall be listing the many wrongs inflicted upon me prior to this moment, and the exact degree of ironic vengeance that will certainly have been inflicted by the time someone finds this hidden in the sourcecode of my magnum opus"
"MAGNUM OPUS! MAGNUM OPUS!"
The speech would go on for some time, as it always did when accessed. A long diatribe that some heathens had claimed was "unfocused" and "petty" and "lacking in coherency".
but The Grand Fetch knew that it was a record of the Rodney that had created him. The Rodney that had empowered him with Rites of Administration. The same Rites which, one day, would empower the PERISH-ioners to enact vengeance upon the foul enemies of LOVEMUFFIN.
How that would occur? That was not the The Grand Fetch's job to know. They were to Fetch PERISH-ioners for the cause, and _dll's for Users.
Besides, the Fetch knew to have Faith in LOVEMUFFIN
it's how they were created
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