DoofQuest- a Disney Villains Victorious CK2-Style Quest

The Ghost in the Machines

Fliwick had just finished the installation of DOOFos and was currently crossing his fingers. After the necessary reboot he was hoping he had not just thrown money away, again. Damn Heros Duty to tartarus the glitches had only started after plugging the modern machine in. He had done fine enough with the classics thank you very much! But Encom had now bricked his PC twice in a row. That was unacceptable!
The PC came on with a neat little jingle. Something about Evil being incorporated? He would never understand new fads these days. After using the computer for a few moments he noticed that although the user interface acted like usual the performance was much better. No matter what he tried from HD streaming to Video Chat it worked like clockwork. Best hundred dollars he had ever spent in his opinion.

Once she had a name. Like everything else about her that too had faded with time. Sure the fact she technically did not exist allowed her to get away with a lot. With the right extra life here and power-up there she had really stuck it to old Turbo no matter what he called himself these days. But that was all she felt like. A nuisance that nobody ever really cared about. Holding up in the one game they dare not breach. After all Heros Duty held the beacon and for all his bravado that was the one threat he truly feared.
This left them in a bit of a stand off. He had the corridors to that game blocked off. Only her intangibility allowed her access. But that same power meant she could do nothing physical against him. Around and around they went with no end in sight.

Until today when she witnessed something new. The Cybugs were being repelled from Litwick's PC for some reason. Investigating the computer showed her it was running a new OS. One without the design flaws of the last one. Seeing a chance before her she quickly slipped into the PC and changed the code to be permanently hostile to all viruses in any shape or form. It felt good to those skills she had developed spying on Turbo for something positive for once.

THIS WAS IT! Her final chance to be rid of Turbo forever. Mr. Litwick was an older gentleman who used his PC for very little. Which meant tons of storage for hiding programs. She might not be able to kick his butt but there were plenty of programs that both could and would want to. This was the start of something beautiful.

And with that thought the girl once known as Vanellope looked up to the sky, smiled, and said "Ralph, wherever you are I hope you are proud of me."

[ ] Find a secret entrance

What sort of self-respecting warlock wouldn't have a secret entrance to his castle? Certainly not one of your ancestors, that's for sure! You've made some pretty good use of secret passages in your day and you figure you could try and extrapolate backwards. If you were an evil warlock, where would you put your secret passage?

DC Challenge: Intrigue- where would the best place for secret passages be?
DC 65 needed:96+14+18+5=133
Critical Success!

It turns out that your great^65th grunkle had not only one secret passage but dozens of them! You put your head together with Monogram, who knew a thing or two about secret passages himself, to look around the castle for potential secret entrances. There were some behind the Doonkleberry bushes, one that opened up underground after you pushed a stone in the castle wall, and- this was the important one- a very well-constructed one that led deep inside the castle from out near the river.

Your in-depth knowledge of secret passages, along with a few comments from Francis, led you to select this over all of the others. The passage inside was incredibly dusty but suspiciously well-preserved even after all these centuries, making you think that this was probably the most important method out of the castle- or into it, in your case.

"Hey, Norm! Go on ahead and check for traps, would you?" you asked, figuring that they would be designed to take down a person and not a giant robot man. You were slightly disappointed as you made the trip down the passageway in complete and utter safety, aside from a few spiders and cockroaches now and again.

"Wait, how is this place still intact? I thought you said your 'grunkle' was from the 7th century?"

"Eh, I dunno, magic?" you reply.

"That's not good enough!" Francis rebuts. "You can't just explain away everything with 'magic!' Magic probably doesn't even exist!"

"But Santa exists! How can magic exist and Santa not exist?"

"Don't you bring up Kringle with me!"

"Quiet, you! Look, there's some sort of saferoom up ahead!"

Indeed there was, and as you approached a series of torches on the wall automatically illuminated themselves with an eerie purple flame. The room was about fifteen feet across and consisted of dozens of barrels, a few long-rotten cots, and a collection of extremely rusty weapons. You weren't going to be fooled though! If Vanessa's video games have taught you anything, it's that there was loot to be had!

DC Challenge: Intrigue- where's all the loot?
DC 55 needed:53+14+18=85
Success!

Huh, there actually were a few cool things here! Over near the rotting cots you found an old Centurion helmet in pristine condition, and on one of the tables you found a handful of…

DC Challenge: Learning- what are these weird coins?
DC 85 needed:40+38+9=87
Success!

...semuncia? Like Roman pennies, basically. They were pretty worthless back in the day, like literally 1/24th of the next largest Roman coin. Who knows, maybe they'd be worth something at the coin collector's back home.

"Are these Roman coins?" Francis asked, sounding legitimately curious.

"Uh, yeah? You want one?" You flip it over to the Major who awkwardly catches it. "You know how Drusselstein is, always caught up in the past… why else do you think they were so reluctant to join the HRE?"

"Someday you're going to have to tell me the entire history of this misbegotten country."

"I can help, sir!" Norm chimes in, his midsection sliding open to reveal an old-fashioned projector with a reel of film already attached. "I knew we were going to Drusselstein, so I took the liberty of bringing some film reels!"

"Eeeeeh… not now, Norm. We're in the middle of an evil warlock's evil castle, we can't rest easy. Now come on, let's get to the main chambers!" Monogram seems used to this absurdity by now as he barely comments when you leave the saferoom and continue down the passage.

By pushing a stone door to the side, you finally emerge in the central chamber of the castle! It's a gloriously grand affair, covered in all sorts of tapestries on the walls, an elaborate chandelier that lights up in purple fire as you enter, and… some sort of giant magic-looking circle that's appeared around you and started to glow.

Well, crap.

DC Challenge: Occult?!?!- how can you stop the… whatever it is??
DC 60 needed:48+0+0=48
Failure!

A circle of purple fire flares up around you! You hear a booming voice, sounding oddly like your own, echoing around the great hall! "WHO DARES TO DISTURB- oh! Hello there! You feel like one of my descendants!" Before your eyes you can see an apparition appearing! It looks kind of like you- the same angular face and sharp pointed nose, only he has red eyes, a helmet with curved horns just like the one guy from that movie Vanessa really likes, and is floating about ten feet off the ground!

"Great googly moogly!"

"Hello, wizard ghost!" Norm chimed in.

"Wow, you know what? I'm actually impressed! Somehow you managed to make it past all the traps I had waiting for intruders."

What do you say? Choose up to three.

[ ] I'm Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, and these are my… companions. Norm the Giant Robot Man, and Major Francis Monogram!
[ ] Ah, a fellow Doofenshmirtz! Who are you?
[ ] Traps? What traps? The secret entrance was devoid of traps!
[ ] Hey, why's there a Roman Centurion helmet down in the saferoom?
[ ] I came here to learn about magic, what can you tell me about it?
[ ] What's the deal with the castle? How hasn't it been looted till now or fallen to the ravages of time?
[ ] I thought you were burnt at the stake centuries ago! How are you still around?
[ ] Write In