- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Fixed, thanks.
You're welcome.
Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
-
- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
How is this not in the turf's interests?
- Location
- NY
Can we also give her a post-interaction survey?
You wanna track down a copy of the book of our greatest enemy in even harsher censorship regime? Better ask our Yak friends and do it discreetly.
- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her
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Noumero
Omit Needless Words
Well, you know my answer to that.
Not sure. We don't want to do anything weird with her lest someone decides to look at what happened this update in a new light. Post-interaction surveys include questions like "how confident are you that Hazou is not secretly plotting against you?"; Yog-Sothoth forbid someone takes them seriously.
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- Location
- Potato land
We'll absolutely have to give Ami a survey with a parting "You can return it next time".
It would be absolutely hilarious if Ami's angle of attack is seduction and Keiko's nightmare comes true. Lethal, but hilarious.
It would be absolutely hilarious if Ami's angle of attack is seduction and Keiko's nightmare comes true. Lethal, but hilarious.
- Location
- NY
See, this is why Hazou needs to become a Jounin as quickly as possible. Then nobody will question his weirdness!
TaliesinSkye
Occasional Editor
- Location
- Northeast Ohio, United States
Clearly it wasn't a nightmare, it was Ami's planning sessions with the Mori voice leaking through to Keiko.
Also, I think we should stop doing the survey thing. It was a good joke but if it goes on too long it starts to make Hazou look like a mental patient.
- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
Yeah. We've used the joke, re-used it, left it be for a while, and found a good moment to bring it back. Its momentum is already flagging and unless we change it up in some way the next use of it will be pretty bland unless we're in a perfect context for it.
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
But we need to give them to a number of people large enough for Keiko to re-derive Fated to Die's rules for social interactions from the gathered data, thereby starting the quest's last metafictional stage! We can't stop now.
(This was Noburi's plan, by the way: )
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
I disagree.
We have yet to give the survey to ISC.
or Mari.
or Kagome...
or Ren!
This is the gift that keeps on giving!
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
Personally, times when things go well is more a relief than anything. Like "oh, we didn't fuck things up, phew."
We also have to quantify chakra for that, though.
- Location
- Phoenix, AZ
Seems reasonable enough to me to vote for.
[X] Action Plan: Hazou's Busy Day Plus One
My primary suggestions (feel free to take them or leave them):
- If the Akatsuki book plan is to get information so we can track down Orochimaru or Naruto, we're probably better off narrowing our search and, rather than asking for a book, asking about specifics "Have you seen any snake cults pop up recently?" or "Do you know what Akatsuki's last mission was?"
- People who are likely to have this information would include:
- The Yakuza -- likely know how to hire Akatsuki (could be a reasonable use of our monetary gains)
- Jounin or Genin of Sand? -- might know of rumors in their area -- would need plan of attack to get them to share
- Civilian merchants we contact -- likely would be willing to tell of snake cults or other weird things
- People who are likely to have this information would include:
- The Oyabun is a busy man -- if we're going to meet with him, it should be something more than just "I'd like a book please" -- he can hand off a book through other people. A reasonable thing to me would be to stop by with a nice bottle of wine and say "This is for the Oyabun" and also ask the representative we hand the wine to if the Civilrous society (or whatever their name is) has a way of hiring high quality ninja for... missions using non Mist-ninja, specifically thinking of Akatsuki (or Orochimaru if we want to get in contact with him), and potentially seeding the idea that they could hire us to do something. Then, later, potentially talk with the Oyabun if he asks to talk with us.
- For Ami, I think it's a reasonable idea to mention that the "special envoy to Leaf [from Mist]" position has been vacated recently. I doubt she'd be interested in taking it (it would be more short-term beneficial towards her goals than long-term I think), but it'd show that we think Keiko would benefit from spending time with her, and potentially give her more avenues to pursue if she wanted to.
Ami very, very deliberately burned Keiko's only emotional link to the clan to protect her until she could come into her own as a power player among the Nara. She is not going to appreciate a meddling Kurosawa trying to "fix" it, especially if they're risking drawing the attention of any of a dozen people to the matter in the process.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Comments:
1) All of this "At your leisure" stuff is begging to have this somehow bite us in the ass scheduling wise.
2) Removed some details I thought were a bit spurious. Stuff with the merchants, some fluff that didn't need to be done in a message to arrange a meeting, etc.
3) The plush cat thing is funny.
Edits:
- General
- Check with Jiraiya on everything.
- Merchants
- Meet with prior contacts
- Specifically: the salt/spice merchant, glass blower and brewer from before.
- Bring gifts: 'excess' storage seals, perhaps
- Specifically: the salt/spice merchant, glass blower and brewer from before.
- Make other contacts
- Start compiling a notebook of potential ones.
- Meet with prior contacts
- Ami
- Arrange for a meeting.
- Suggested date: two days from now?
- Acquire a black plush cat from some of the merchants, nickname "Meowsakado" to send with the missive as a token of goodwill.
- MAKE SURE NOT TO MENTION ANYTHING THAT COULD VIOLATE OPSEC
- If Hazō thinks any manipulation is going on he will politely leave ASAP
- Ostensible subject is to get to know Keiko's sister.
- Arrange for a meeting.
- Ikeda
- Arrange another meeting at her leisure, should she be willing
- Ask about her experience in Sand
- Excuse - curiosity about what a normal ninja life is like in Sand.
- Ask after the civilian life there.
- Trade story for story if necessary, but don't give more than she does
- The OPSEC sanitized ones.
- Casually mention Till-n-fills as a new mission category Leaf's been trying out.
- Easy money for the economy, good practice for the greener Genin, and it keeps the civilians happy.
- Maybe float it by your higher-ups for brownie points, perhaps Sand could adopt something similar, who knows?
- ISC
- Watch Ino and Shikamaru's matches.
- Celebrate as appropriate afterwards should they win.
- Don't stay out too late though. Tomorrow is showtime.
- Contingencies
- Armor
- Insist on the Kotsuzui explanation at all times.
- Even if Kotsuzui himself asks.
- As far as Hazou is concerned "Breaking OPSEC with cute Sand Genin." is now officially on the list of "Hazou's fuck ups."
- Do not talk about it. It didn't happen.
- Insist on the Kotsuzui explanation at all times.
- Armor
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
[x] Action Plan: Hazou's Busy Day To The Power Of Minus One
Wordcount: 299.
Above is a significantly lessened and wordcount-optimized version of @Oneiros' plan with some of @MMKII's suggestions.
Changes:
Wordcount: 299.
- Check everything with Jiraiya.
- Meet with merchants:
- Prior contacts:
- Salt/spice merchant, glass blower, brewer.
- Bring gifts (e.g., 'excess' storage seals).
- Nix if Jiraiya thinks they'll see it as (bad kind of) bribery.
- Buy some of their wares.
- Aim: Demonstrate in Leaf later, try to facilitate trade.
- Ask about foreign chakra beasts, especially ones useful for non-militaristic purposes.
- Make new contacts. Compile a notebook.
- Prior contacts:
- Meet with Ikeda.
- Ask about life in Sand:
- Her own.
- Ninja's.
- Civilians'.
- Trade story-for-story if necessary.
- Act: Slightly too guarded around operational information, overly detailed on other topics.
- No actual OPSEC breaches, obviously.
- Explain till'n'fills.
- Improve economy, keep civilians happy, are good practice for genin.
- Suggest she mention them to superiors for brownie points.
- If she seems interested, explain Uplift.
- Ask about life in Sand:
- Schedule meetings with:
- Mori Ami. Topics: social philosophy and family.
- Objective (for Jiraiya): Test the waters in a casual setting, with someone she wouldn't see as a major threat. Hazou will stay far away from political and OPSEC-sensitive topics.
- If need further convincing: Keiko is heartbroken over losing Ami, finds herself unable to forgive Mari. You'd like to see whether they could be eventually reconciled.
- Objective (for Jiraiya): Test the waters in a casual setting, with someone she wouldn't see as a major threat. Hazou will stay far away from political and OPSEC-sensitive topics.
- The Oyabun. Topics: gambling and (if Jiraiya approves) interesting books.
- Gift: Send a bottle of wine.
- Check response to previous letter.
- Objectives (for Jiraiya): Get fleecing permissions for Mist casinos, and inquire about sources of useful books: private libraries, black markets, collectors...
- Can we ask about the Akatsuki book?
- (Time: after Keiko's match, at other parties' convenience.)
- Mori Ami. Topics: social philosophy and family.
- Watch matches. Cheer for ISC.
- Latest OPSEC incident:
- Always insist on "Kotsuzui-meatshield" lie if asked.
- Ask Jiraiya whether he'll handle it from now on, or should you subtly draw attention to your "OPSEC breach" with Ikeda. Proceed accordingly.
- "Breaking OPSEC with cute Sand genin" is now one of Hazou's fuck-ups. Act accordingly.
Above is a significantly lessened and wordcount-optimized version of @Oneiros' plan with some of @MMKII's suggestions.
Changes:
- Put off meeting with Ami until after our match with Keiko. Reasoning: as @Tua pointed out last cycle, it could otherwise be seen as trying to mess with Keiko's emotional state for tactical advantage.
- Likewise, moved meeting with the Oyabun for later, added "gambling" as a topic (@Lailoken?), and added gifting him a bottle of wine as per Jiraiya's suggestion.
- Alternatively, we could work out how to approach this interaction, and see if we could get a meeting sooner.
- Modified section with Ikeda. I think it would be useful if Hazou now acted overly guarded with information around her, after getting "burned" last night. However, he still "wants" to interact with her, and so will overcompensate by talking about other topics. Feedback?
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- Location
- Yes.
I will observe that this is an issue of we push the topic overtly: while there are obviously going to be Mist-nin listening on us since we're ex-missing nin
OTOH, acting as though we want to be the ones to fix things, as opposed to us acting as though we want to help Ami fix things, might. Given her opinion on Keiko Ami might tend to think we're not as intelligent as her and would respond less well to us trying to take charge as opposed to working together. At the same time, though, it might lead to us getting manipulated by her and something something Kagome. Social is hard.
@Oneiros @huhYeahGoodPoint @Noumero (?) IIRC your plans involve an Ami section, and I would ask that you consider my thoughts on that.
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
My plan includes setting up the meeting at a later date, with only vague "social philosophy and family" listed as topics. Details could be worked out later.
That said, I'm inclined to agree with you. The Keiko topic is sensitive, and I would prefer to focus on the more abstract ones, such as Uplift as a philosophy, or broad observations about how the ninja world is working.
- Location
- Yes.
I know this breaks OPSEC on...well, a lot, but it would be interesting to bring up Keiko's analysis of how the EN is slowly going to darkness when we first learned about scorch squads.
Side note: WHERE THE FUCK IS KAGOME FROM