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Puella Magi Adfligo Systema

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Firnagzen said:
Also: First of all, apologies for the late update. It's been a... it's been a good few days. Second of all, a lot of the original vote didn't get used, but that's because Homura decided to take off in a different direction.
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Fuck yeah, good for you my good gentlebeing. And it's fine, we are patient.
 
[X] Nerevar

It's a hard choice between the two but ultimately I think this bloc make more sense to my head. Either way I definitely on board with demolishing or at least sidestepping this whole "charming" business. It's rather irrelevant and a rabbit hole of subjectivity anyway.

I think the two most important misconceptions that need to be demolished is that "Charming" isn't a magic gun that one can learn how to wield and shoot down social situations. Additionally, every Homura-related improvement is ultimately a direct result of Homura herself. Sabrina didn't...pull strings like some grand puppeteers.

I'm not sure how exactly Homura got into this pit in particular but I suspect "the best way for me to help is to scare them away" is a big key. What I'm guessing is that somewhere in her head there is just this gigantic neon sign that says "Homura =/= Friends" and everything just really, really spiraled out of control from there. However post-Sabrina she I suspect might have reevaluated the issue and settled on the novel approach of "Then change Homura" instead.

If so yeah starting by showing her that Homura and Homura's Wish is not incompatible with Literally Everything is a solid launch, I think.

I feel like the pieces are all there but i'm just blanking out on it. Maybe others put it together already but nothing over here.
 
After ten thousand years, I'm caught up once more. Hopefully, this time, I manage to keep up.
The Iowa reveal was a wonderful climax for the whole setup, thanks for the laughs, @Firnagzen.
 
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Lowlife pt. 37
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    • Well, there goes your train of thought, doesn't it? You'd been sort of leaning into the whole issue with Homura not understanding how to social, nor how to learn how to be social, but she's torpedoed that with just a few words - with just as much precision as she shoots.

    There are... a lot of things to address here, and you're not entirely sure where to star-

    "There are... a lot of things to address here," you say slowly, before the silence stretches out too far. Before Homura can think better of her question, of her plea. "But the first thing is that... Sayaka called you cool, yes, and I didn't make her do that. I didn't make her do that. You did, Homura, because you are cool. I-"

    Homura opens her mouth to speak, and you cut her off with a quick shake of your head and a smile.

    "I mean it, Homura," you say. "I- well, c'mon, you know Sayaka. She's stubborn and proud and principled. If she says something, it's because she believes it. You know that, right?"

    "She's never done that before," Homura whispers, low, quiet and perhaps just a bit pained in the way she hunches down ever so slightly on herself. "She- she's never liked me. She's always been suspicious of me."

    You exhale slowly, tipping your head back and looking at the night sky, frozen in hues of monochrome, taking a moment to gather your skittering thoughts. You can feel Mami's eyes on you, and your gazes lock for a second - you nod slightly. You've got this.

    You think.

    "You know what I did do, Homura?" you murmur quietly, sitting down so that you're eye-level with her. You can hardly remain standing when you'd been about to critique Homura's first impression to Madoka: towering over Madoka, intimidating her with height alone. So you bring yourself down, perching on a tiny platform of Grief to hover before Homura and Mami. Your smile remains in place, gentle and -you hope- reassuring.

    "I made it so that you and Sayaka could exist in the same space without her being at your throat all the time," you say. "And that is something I can teach you, but... that's really all I did. I opened the possibility up, and Sayaka considering you cool, considering you a friend? That's between you and her. It's because you are cool, and you are worth befriending."

    "I'm no-"

    Mami cuts Homura off with a ruthless 'tut'.

    "You are, Homura," you say, shooting Mami a swift smile.

    "Perhaps you don't feel like it," Mami says. "I understand how you feel, Homura. I haven't been in quite the same situation you have before, Homura, but I understand the feeling."

    That gets a twitch out of Homura. Her expression flickers to confusion, eyes darting up to Mami's face for a moment.

    "I... I pretended to be the perfect sempai," Mami says softly. "Partially because... because it encouraged me to, but also because I was lonely. If I were just good enough, then my friends wouldn't abandon me, right? So I put on a facade. If I could seem cool enough, then people would want to stay, but there was always worry. That it was fake, that people would know it was fake, and..."

    The smile Mami graces you with is nothing short of dazzling.

    "I don't... I don't have to worry about that now, but I truly do understand what it feels like to not... not see yourself as others see you," she says. "And I understand that our circumstances are quite, quite different. But I hope you can believe that you're not alone."

    "And... well, on that same note, Homura," you say, deciding to pick up the thread from Mami. "You say that I'm charming, but half the time, I feel like I'm a failure there too, you know? I can get it right some of the time, but it feels like I'm cheating because I know enough about people to, to manipulate them. So believe me, I get it too."

    Homura shakes her head mutely.

    "'But it's different for me'," Mami murmurs. "'But they're succeeding, and I'm not'. Right, Homura?"

    She doesn't answer, simply hunching her shoulders in on herself, head bowing low.

    "Wrong," you say. "Homura, I..."

    You wave your hands.

    "There's a lot to cover here. I'm not saying I won't teach you or that I can't teach you," you say. "I'm saying that you've got some... gah, some advantages that are beneficial, that have already been the cause of beneficial outcomes. Yes, the circumstances are different, but it was because of circumstances-" You weigh something invisible in one hand "-and the traits that you possess-" another invisible weight in your other hand "-that resulted in the outcomes we're seeing. Does that make sense?"

    Homura stills for a moment. Then she nods.

    "And taking that as given, I can teach you to leverage your advantages better, and how the circumstances can come up," you say. "And I think that's what you want, right?"

    Another measured nod, less certain than the last.

    "But there's something to address before that. It's... I'm a little stuck on the word 'charming'?" you say, air-quoting the word. "Because I'm... not charming."

    "Yes, you are," Mami says. A tiny smile curls her lips, humour dancing in her eyes. "You are very charming, Sabrina."

    "Well, I know you think so, but that does kind of feed into my point," you say, returning Mami's smile. "'Charming' is a bit of a nebulous thing. And. Most importantly: it's not a catch-all thing. It's a trap I'm prone to falling into, too: social interactions are very much not a one-size-fits-all thing. Do you get that, Homura?"

    "No," Homura says.

    "Well... do you think I'm charming?" you ask Homura. "I promise I'm going somewhere with this."

    "I suppose?" Homura says hesitantly.

    "Am I? To you?" you press gently, leaning forward a little. "I mean... I promise you won't hurt my ego."

    Hesitantly, Homura shakes her head, fidgeting with the hem of her skirt.

    "I'm a little intense, right? A little controlling sometimes. I keep pushing you, and sometimes I'm kind of weird, right? Like now, or our very first conversation, way back then," you say. "Sometimes I mess up, and I mess up hard. Maybe other annoyances too. Right?" Taking Homura's silence as answer enough by itself, you grin. "I'm a little self-aware. Sometimes. The point is: despite all that, you... I like to think you trust me? You consider me a friend?"

    This time, Homura's nod is sure and firm, and oh you can't help the smile on your face.

    "That's my point," you say. "'Charming' isn't a one size fits all. Mami thinks I am, you don't. And... that's a mistake I'm prone to making too, like I said: social situations aren't a problem in want of a solution. They're interactions, give and take, and everyone reacts differently, and that's fine."

    You thump your fist to your chest for emphasis, and grin.

    "So that's my first lesson, I suppose," you say. "What works for me doesn't necessarily work for you. What works to convince Sayaka might not work on Madoka. I am a hammer. When all I've got is a hammer, well..."

    Mami nods in agreement.

    "Perhaps some examples to help Homura understand better, Sabrina?" she says.

    "I was thinking that, yeah," you say with a smile. "But... Homura? Are we making sense? Are you following OK?"

    "I... think so," Homura says hesitantly. "Approaches have to be tailored."

    Mami hums thoughtfully, drawing the attention of both you and Homura.

    "Have you ever heard the advice 'just be yourself'?" Mami says. At Homura's nod, Mami continues. "There's a lot of truth to it, as trite as it sounds. It's not wrong to say that talking to different people requires different approaches, but you mustn't let it become false. You shouldn't, for example, try to be Sabrina."

    "Yeah. It's the little things you do that helped Sayaka get to like you, not to mention Madoka and Hitomi," you say. "Like when you joke around - did I ever tell you that you're actually really funny when you want to be? You're fantastic at the dry, deadpan delivery, and it works very well for you."

    Mami's nodding in agreement. "Not only that, you've fought side by side with us, and allowed us to make earnest connections to you," she says. "Speaking for myself, Homura, I'm truly grateful and humbled that you've shared your story with me, and that you're comfortable enough to have this conversation we're having right now. And... in turn, I've been sharing my personal anecdotes and fears to help you. Does that make sense?"

    "It... it does," Homura says, her eyes darting from you to Mami.

    "Sayaka and Madoka would do no less, I believe," you say, and hold up a hand. "I know you're against sharing your story with Madoka, and I'm not asking you to right now. I'm saying that people generally reciprocate. One person has to let their guard down first, and others, recognizing that, will in turn let their guards down too. That's the general idea of how you start building a rapport, and then trust, and friendship. Make sense?"

    Homura exhales, her expression hungry and almost painfully eager. She's hanging on to your every word, drinking it all in, and for a fraction of a second, you can see the timid, scared girl she used to be, before the wheels of time ground her down. She wants to learn, she wants to understand.

    She nods silently.

    "Would you like a moment to think over what we've said?" Mami offers. "Do you have any questions?"

    The silence of the timestop stretches out for a moment, Homura's brow furrowing in intense concentration. You take the moment to stand and stretch, catching Mami's eye for a moment - another lightning fast exchange of glances, confirming that the both of you are feeling good about this. You think you're on the right track.

    "You... you said I had advantages," Homura says, finally.

    "Ah," you say, and grin as you plop back down into a seated position. "Well, the first and foremost is that you are cool. You've got that whole cool, reserved mien that's backed up by sheer competence. You're a veteran magical girl with years of experience behind you, and it shows, you know? Even to people who aren't fighters. Plus, your sense of humour is absolutely superb, and you care."

    "And by most objective measures, you're very pretty," Mami says, smiling slightly. "I'm rather biased-" a swift smile your way "-but I believe that most would agree."

    "And your hair," you say. "I... Homura, I know I've commented on your hair before, but your hair."

    "It is very nice hair," Mami says with a smile.

    Homura absorbs that, raising her hand to her hair and fidget with a lock of the silken strands, rubbing them between two fingers.

    "How..." Homura licks her lips. "How does it all... work?"

    "Ah..." you exchange another look with Mami. "Maybe an example. Mami, Homura, do you remember when we were hunting Oriko in timestop?"

    "Ah, yes," Mami says. "I remember."

    "And... Homura, do you remember how Mami's opinion effectively did a complete reversal over the course of that?" you continue, transferring your attention to Homura.

    "Yes," Homura says.

    "Well, why do you think that is?" you say, smiling.

    "Because..." If the frown on Homura's brow were any deeper, it'd split right through her skull. "Because I was fighting with her?"

    "That's part of it," Mami says, smiling. "Even if we had separate reasons for going after her, the fact that we were fighting as a unified front, towards the same goal, did a lot to help earn my trust. And... you were comfortable enough to fall asleep in my living room. I... I know now that it was in part because it was familiar surroundings for you, but at the time, the fact that you felt safe enough to show vulnerability around me did a lot to ease my concerns."

    "Oh," Homura says. She swallows, looking from Mami, to you, and back. "OK."

    "Mm... unrelated to that hunt," Mami says, tapping her chin thoughtfully. "I'm not sure if you've noticed it yourself, Homura, but when you fight, you have a tendency to support other people when they need it - covering their backs from unexpected attackers and clearing space for them to breathe. I'm sure it's something that Sayaka must have noticed, too, and that's something that would have helped."

    Homura nods again.

    "Take a moment to process it," you say encouragingly. "Alright?"

    You take a moment to cleanse Homura's Soul Gem, as well as your own, and Mami's. Mami smiles at you, reaching out to take your hand, and you hop across the platform to join her and wrap her in a hug as Homura thinks, staring out over the frozen skyline of Mitakihara.

    Mami leans against you with a pleased sigh, burrowing contentedly under your arm.

    After a few minutes of silence, Homura finally breaks the quiet.

    "How does it all come together?" she asks quietly. "I... my, my advantages. And circumstances."

    [] Write-in (word count limit: 150 words)

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    Amalgamated votes for this update.
     
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    • So...there's a few points I want to at least mention (not necessarily to Homura, right now):

    1) A big part of the problem with Homura's mission is that keeping Madoka ignorant about the magical side of the world is simply impossible--Kyubey won't be giving up on trying to contract her unless it's impossible, and the only way to make it impossible is for Madoka to be informed about the consequences of what her making a contract would be. Of course, Madoka being Madoka, she wouldn't necessarily be able to bear the truth about Witches and Magical Girls without deeply desiring to do something about it...at least, until this loop.

    2) Madoka doesn't feel compelled to contract in this loop despite knowing, at least in broad strokes, how awful being a magical girl normally is, because Sabrina's abilities--and all of the local magical girls working together to at least some degree--change the situation. A situation too awful to bear has become a situation that is actually bearable, because there is serious hope of making it a lot better, and she can be a part of that.

    3) Madoka's potential allows for her wishes to have effects across timelines. Meaning that, even in a "lost" loop, she could, if properly informed, make a wish that massively helps her next loop's self. Any rational person, Madoka very much included, would jump at that kind of chance in the face of total disaster/loss. Granted, it's pretty hypothetical at this point, but just having that idea in mind just in case would give Homura hope even when she's thinking about her fears of this loop turning out to be a failure.

    ----

    Now, as for the stuff more directly relevant to this point in the conversation:

    How does it all come together?

    1) Be genuine, and forthcoming as much as you can afford to be. Show people that you care about them, and not just in the sense that you care about them for their ability to help you with your goals. Show that you care about them as people. One way to do that is in conversation and first impressions. Smile more, even if it's a small, soft smile--whatever you can do that feels genuine. Show interest in them, even if you already know all about them--fondness and longing can be a good substitute for the emotion of fresh discovery and fresh interest in someone.

    2) Be there for others, whether it's just letting them know that you'll have their back in the future, or that you can always be contacted if they need help.

    3) Relationships are give-and-take, but not necessarily on a transactional basis. For example, doing something together that you both enjoy is beneficial for both of you even on an immediate basis. Still, doing nice things for others helps to build and deepen relationships, but remember that it's also important to receive and show gratitude for when they do nice things for you, even when you don't need it. The very act of giving and receiving in a relationship deepens it.

    4) Once you get past the introductory phase of a relationship, it can work to outright inform the other of your difficulties with expressing yourself. For example, apologize for looking so serious all the time--you're working on it, but it's an old habit to break--so as to better avoid the other misinterpreting your minimalist expressions for not caring about or being interested in them.

    5) Homura has a great personality underneath all of the callouses developed from all of the relentless trauma she's been through. Given enough time to have others to depend upon, enough time without serious failure, enough time to process her issues and get help to work on them, more of her personality will shine through and make it easier to connect with others.

    6) Showing vulnerability, limitations, and a degree of self-deprication can deepen bonds, too. It's much easier to connect with and open up to someone who is willing to show you/acknowledge their flaws and weaknesses.
     
    SaltyWaffles said:
    3) Madoka's potential allows for her wishes to have effects across timelines. Meaning that, even in a "lost" loop, she could, if properly informed, make a wish that massively helps her next loop's self. Any rational person, Madoka very much included, would jump at that kind of chance in the face of total disaster/loss. Granted, it's pretty hypothetical at this point, but just having that idea in mind just in case would give Homura hope even when she's thinking about her fears of this loop turning out to be a failure.
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    I don't like the idea of "preparing" for future loops; if nothing else, it would run counter to Sabrina's previous statements that this would be the last loop.

    (There's also the fact that it's taken us six years to make it halfway to through one loop. I don't wanna go through that again.)
     
    Shadowhisker said:
    I don't like the idea of "preparing" for future loops; if nothing else, it would run counter to Sabrina's previous statements that this would be the last loop.

    (There's also the fact that it's taken us six years to make it halfway to through one loop. I don't wanna go through that again.)
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    Again, the idea is not "let's play through another loop", but rather giving Homura a sense of reassurance that, whenever she needs to deal with her fears about "what if this loop goes wrong", she can mentally pull "even in the worst case scenario, Madoka can wish to drastically improve the next loop, and she'd do it gladly because it would, among other things, be helping to save herself, too" and feel a lot more calm about it, and worry about those fears less.
     
    SaltyWaffles said:
    Again, the idea is not "let's play through another loop", but rather giving Homura a sense of reassurance that, whenever she needs to deal with her fears about "what if this loop goes wrong", she can mentally pull "even in the worst case scenario, Madoka can wish to drastically improve the next loop, and she'd do it gladly because it would, among other things, be helping to save herself, too" and feel a lot more calm about it, and worry about those fears less.
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    The prospect of Madoka wishing will not make Homura more calm, because it involves Madoka wishing. Madoka wishing is the worst case scenario.
     
    Torgamous said:
    The prospect of Madoka wishing will not make Homura more calm, because it involves Madoka wishing. Madoka wishing is the worst case scenario.
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    The worst case scenario is that Homura dies or falls to despair because she feels like it's hopeless. As we saw in canon, literally all Kyubey had to do was tell Homura that Madoka's potential increased dramatically with every loop to get her to give up after one final (futile) shot at killing Walpurgisnacht.
     
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