"Sa-ba-ka," you say, pointing accusingly right back at Sayaka. You can't hold the expression for long, though, a massive grin stealing back across your face. You're going to tell Sayaka about one of the biggest secrets. You're going to bring her in, with Homura's help, and it's a huge step forward. Not just for her, not just for you, but also paving the way to tell Mami sooner, rather than later.
"Uuuugh." Sayaka blinks, makes a sound of disgust, and flops over backwards onto the floor of your flight platform.
You snicker.
"So, in other matters - I asked you before the training, and just to round things out, I'll ask you again," you say. "How're you feeling about it? Training with Kyouko, I mean."
"It's good!" Sayaka says, stretching. "She's a tough teacher, but she knows her stuff. Plus, like you said, she's really a big softy."
"Yeah, she is," you say with a grin. Good, good. It's a start.
... It's not like you're going to
force them together, but you
know that they could be great together, and you can't help but want to encourage that. Admittedly, if Sayaka
does manage to get Kyousuke to actually notice her, you'd be both impressed and happy for her - but also annoyed at having to throw out half a dozen theories. Either that, or just mark Sayaka down as a bizarre outlier.
You're mildly interested to note that Hitomi's shown no sign of wanting to declare her affections for Kyousuke, mind. If you had to guess, she's at the very least
extremely reluctant to, because with Sayaka's sense of duty and indebtedness, she'd immediately bow out, and that would be uncomfortably close to coercion. You can respect that.
"Aaaalso, in sort-of-related stuff," you say as a thought strikes you. "Didn't you think about a bracelet for your power gems before? But you found it too confusing?"
"Sorta?" Sayaka says, tucking her arms under her head. "OK, so, that time, I wanted to put
all of them onto the bracelet. Or a belt, I think. And that didn't work out too well, because I couldn't distinguish them properly. But what I'm thinking is that I pick out the... three most useful ones, let's say, and put them spaced out nicely, so I can tell which is which just from the
position."
"Oooh, OK," you say, nodding. "So you just need to memorize where they are, rather than having to sort them out. Yeah, that's a good call."
"I was thinking Yuma's healing, Miss Benouna's juggernaut thing, and... hmm. Not sure of the last one," Sayaka says, pursing her lips. "Miss Koizumi's clones? Kure's antimagic? Miss Umeko's invisibility?"
"Look at you, spoilt for choice," you say with a snicker. "I
think antimagic would be the best panic button, though if you get a more, uh,
direct teleportation power than Miss Saki's, it would also be good."
"Maybe a second bracelet," Sayaka says, considering. "Or... a necklace. Actually, yeah, a necklace might work nicely. Not too conspicuous."
"Sounds good to me," you say. "Let me know if you need help forging something?"
"Can do," Sayaka says with a nod. She fidgets for a moment, watching the lone cloud in the sky scud by, before sitting up. "This secret."
"Yeah?" you say, giving her a curious look.
"It's..." Sayaka trails off, makes a face, and subsides, thumping the heel of her palm against her knee.
"What is it, Sayaka?" you ask. You turn away from watching the metaphorical road ahead -you're cruising above skyscraper level, anyway- and face her fully.
"I, uh... look, it's this big, scary secret that everyone's tiptoeing around, and now that I've
committed to it I'm just kinda nervous about it," Sayaka says, fidgeting uncomfortably with her hands, her gloves rubbing together. "I
want to ask questions
now even though I know we're gonna discuss it soon."
"Oh," you say sheepishly. "Yeah, that's fair. I promise we're gonna do our best to explain it properly, alright? But not out here, where... anyone or any
thing could hear."
"Yeah, yeah," Sayaka says, waving you off. "I
know, I'm just nervous."
"Completely understandable," you say. "Won't be long, though."
"Mmrh," Sayaka agrees, and falls silent, staring up at the evening sky. A few stars are starting to peek through, glimmering, distant points of light wheeling far above as you soar towards home.
Homura cuts a distinctive figure even from a distance, standing statue-like on the roof. The evening wind's picked up a little, pulling her hair into a streaming black banner, bold and prominent against the blazing hues of sunset. And perched on her outstretched arm is an equally familiar figure.
"Hey!" you call as you land, grin already stretching from ear to ear.
"Hey, Homura," Sayaka says, rolling off the side of the dinner plate of doom to land on her feet. "... I see you found Mugin."
"It wouldn't stop pecking me until I picked it up," Homura says, a hint of a smidgen of a sliver of reproach colouring her tone.
The bird in question squawks loudly, fluffing up its feathers.
"Maybe he's hungry," Sayaka says, shrugging and reaching under her cloak. "Hold on, I've got some birdseed in my bag..."
As it turns out, a handful of scattered birdseed is enough to appease Mugin, who hops off Homura's arm and flutters down to peck at the birdseed. Homura, freed of her burden, catches your eye, and you nod, grinning. She cranks her shield-
-and you find her gripping your wrist lightly. You grin at Homura, meeting violet eyes with your own.
"We're going to tell Sayaka," you say. "We're going to tell Sayaka!"
"... Yes?" Homura says.
You find laughter, bright and joyous, bubbling up from your chest, loud enough to fill the emptiness of Homura's time stop, and before you can stop yourself, you pull her into a hug, and she's so light in your arms you can't help but pick her up and swing her around. She flails a little. And-
You blink, freezing, and set her down gently.
Are you blushing? You might be blushing. You're definitely feeling embarrassed enough.
"Um. Sorry," you say, sheepish, and ease into a more neutral hold. "Just... we're telling
Sayaka, because she
wants to know, and she's going into this with both eyes open, and just, just- this is
huge, Homura."
"... yes," Homura says.
"... sorry about the hug?" you say, grinning weakly. "I know, um, not everyone is as touchy-feely as I am. Just, this is such a huge step forward and it's
progress and I've been getting through to Kyouko too and it's a huge step forward and just, ugh, I'm repeating myself."
Homura shrugs, looking about as awkward as you feel.
"It's OK," she murmurs. "It... it
is a big change."
"Yeah," you say with a happy sigh. "Yeah, it is. Before we begin, how are you? How did things go with Mami?"
"It... went well. The... the Kures were well behaved," Homura says, looking away and nailing the water tank on the roof with a glare. "I'm fine." She closes her mouth, frowns slightly, and looks up at you. "The... extra security is reassuring. What was that about Kyouko?"
"I'm glad," you say, smiling warmly. "And about Kyouko - I got her to agree to meeting Mami. To talk! I've got high hopes for reconciling them, and, and just-
progress."
Homura nods, once and sharp.
"That's good," she says, and... she sounds honestly
glad, the usual dispassion faded from her voice.
You laugh again, almost giddy with joy. "Thanks, Homura," you say, squeezing her arm gently. "But now- are you ready?"
She doesn't respond for a long moment, silent and still enough to be mistaken for someone frozen by the timestop, like Sayaka. But her fingers are warm on your wrist, and she looks like she's thinking through something, so you hold your tongue.
"Do you think it'll go well?" Homura asks quietly.
"Telling Sayaka, you mean?" You smile at Homura's nod, and turn to face her fully. "I think so. She's a lot smarter than most give her credit for, and she's fully on board with us, this loop. It's... Sayaka's reckless and impulsive, but she's
with us, you know? And we've got concrete goals and plans to work with. So long as she's got that, she'll handle it fine."
"And..." you huff a quiet sigh, cheeks puffing out. "Look, I'm quite confident that Sayaka handles the Witchbomb better than most. And it's part of why the Incubator targets her first."
"She's... she's not weak, this time," Homura says quietly.
"She's got the support she needs, and the facts to point her against the real enemy," you say, gently correcting her. "She might have been more inclined to Witching out, before, but that's as much circumstance as anything else - like I said, the Incubator
targeted her, specifically. She's part of the team now, and we support each other, yeah?"
Homura takes a moment to digest that, and nods. "OK," she murmurs.
"And... one last thing. If she somehow realise you're a time traveler, I've got your back," you say. "I'm with you, Homura, and it's your call how you want me to intervene there."
"Just..." Homura closes her eyes, exhaling. "Just make sure
she's still on our side." She nudges your hand to grip her elbow, freeing her hands to pull some string from her shield. A few quick motions knot it around her wrist, and then yours, and then you walk over to Sayaka to lay your hand on her shoulder.
"
Guh." Sayaka gasps as colour bleeds back into her. She shakes her head, blue hair flying.
You chuckle, offering her the string with your free hand.
"Hey," you say. "OK there, Sayaka?"
"Yeah, yeah," Sayaka says, looking around the timestop as she loops the string around her wrist.
"Alright." You smile, pulling up enough Grief to make three simple chairs so that you don't have to sit on the roof, which isn't exactly clean. "Let's sit down for this."
"
That's reassuring," Sayaka mutters, but sits down without any further fuss, tucking her hands on her lap like an attentive student - but from the way she clasps her fingers tightly together to
not fidget, you can tell she's nervous.
"Right," you say, once everyone's seated comfortably. "So. Cleanses all around, first."
"That bad?" Sayaka says. Still, she offers up her own Soul Gem, as does Homura, and you drain them all away. This time, you
don't collapse it all down, instead keeping it floating free around you.
"Yeah..." You sigh, flattening your palms on your thighs, and look at Sayaka. "As you guessed, what we're about to tell you is... awful, but it's something that we're trying to fix. Not just us, a few other magical girls, and it's something I'm actively recruiting for.
Your help would be invaluable, if you're willing to after we explain this."
"Right..." Sayaka says, nodding slowly. "Who else is invol- no, nevermind, one thing at a time."
"One thing at a time," you agree. "So... let's start this
right. You've watched Star Wars, right?"
"
Yes, Sabrina," Sayaka says, rolling her eyes. "I've watched Star Wars."
"Great!" you say with a grin that you don't
quite feel. "So when I tell you that it's true from a certain point of view..."
"Ugh," Sayaka says, rolling her eyes. "Just get on with it."
But she
has relaxed a bit, so you'll take that as a win. And you should probably fight the urge to extend the metaphor to uncomfortable levels and point out that in that context, magical girls are Anakin Skywalker while Witches are Darth Vader.
"This stuff isn't called Grief for no reason," you say, letting the Grief coalesce enough to be visible to Sayaka. "I'm certain you've noticed that it actively makes you feel worse, and draining it away helps you feel better."
Sayaka nods slowly, eyes fixed on you. Her hands have stilled now, her attention fully on you.
"As your Soul Gem fills up, you feel worse and worse," you say softly. "And it's a vicious cycle, a feedback loop. The worse you feel, the more your Soul Gem fills up. I call it a Grief spiral, because that's what you do - spiral into the darkness. And finally, your Soul Gem fills up."
You exhale.
"It's not
entirely true that we die if our Soul Gems fill up with Grief," you say. Your jaw tightens, because this is
it. The big one. The point of no return. "We die... and a Witch is born from our Souls."
The blood drains from Sayaka's face, and she seems to stop breathing entirely.
"Easy, Sayaka," you say, leaning forward to place your hand over hers. After a second, Homura's hand joins yours, hesitant and slow. "
Easy. Take a moment."
Sayaka's shaking.
"T-the. The-" It takes Sayaka a few tries, speaking through bloodless lips. "The Witches we've-"
"They were once magical girls," you say grimly. "But
no- you haven't
killed them. Witches..." You sigh. "Witches don't die, not really. They just go dormant."
"What-
why?" Sayaka whispers.
"Kyuubey," you say quietly.
"The
Incubator," Homura spits.
"
Why?" Sayaka demands.
"For energy," you say. You can't help the humourless laugh. "It's... almost banal. All this suffering, because according to them - the expression of our
souls, as magic, as
Witches, can combat
entropy."
"I-" Sayaka raises a shaking hand to run through her hair. "
God."
"Take your time, Sayaka," you urge. "We're not going anywhere."
"I don't- I don't want to
take my time, I, I- we- we turn into
Witches?" Sayaka demands.
"Witches are born from our Souls," you echo your earlier words. Better a clear statement than diving into the complexities, right now. "And, um, let me cleanse for you?"
"I-" Sayaka stiffens. Her eyes snap down to her own Soul Gem, and you can see her shaking intensify. "Y-yes, please, I- I don't want that to-"
"It's not going to," you say, cutting her off as you drain her Soul Gem. "Not while I'm alive."
"R-right," Sayaka says, and for a wonder - she manages a shaky smile for you. "I... right. Right, right. That's why... yeah. Your magic."
"Yeah. I've got you." You return the smile, trying to project as much confidence as you can into it. "
We've got you - Homura'd help you too."
"Right," Sayaka repeats, turning to Homura. The shaky smile vanishes a second later. "But I, the, the Witches. The one's we've faced."
"Are less lucky magical girls," you say with a sigh. "Imagine... imagine a depressive episode. There's nothing good to life. Nothing that brightens your day. There's no way to pull yourself out of the darkness. And you're just... immersed in that, forever. Your regrets, your shames. Witches lash out, or they retreat into themselves, or..."
You sigh, looking away.
"Monsters born out of Grief," you say. "What else
can they be? They lash out. Or maybe they don't. They're girls like us who fell to despair, who kill people because they can't escape their fear and hate and
anger."
"That's
horrible," Sayaka whispers. "It's, it's..."
"There are no words adequate for it," you murmur. "But..." You sigh. "I wasn't trying to be morbid about it. The point I wanted to make is that they... we can't really communicate with them. We can only stop them from hurting others, and... themselves."
Slowly, you withdraw Hildegard from your pocket, and set it on your thigh. It balances on its point, glinting in the eerie, directionless half-light of Homura's timestop.
"I can draw the
Grief out of a Grief Seed," you say. "At the very least... they're not suffering, like this."
"Right," Sayaka mutters. "I... give me a moment."
"Take all the time you need," you say, sitting back a little. You don't remove your hand from Sayaka's - and neither does Homura.
You flash her a reassuring smile. It's going to be OK.
"S-so," Sayaka says. "Don't let Soul Gems fill up, or we turn into horrible monsters. I..." She swallows, and shakes her head, looking between you and Homura. "That's... that's why you don't want Madoka to become a magical girl."
"Among other things, yeah," you say.
"Right..." Sayaka sucks in a shuddering breath. "I..."
"No need to rush this, Sayaka," you urge. "Really."
Sayaka shakes her head.
"This
is a secret, right?" Sayaka asks.
"
Yes," you say. "The three of us know it, obviously. Oriko and Kirika, too. Mami
does not. Neither does Kyouko. And this is... Sayaka, I cannot emphasize this enough, this is
dangerous to know.
Don't go sharing it round randomly, OK?"
"Right, yeah, because the whole... spiralling. Yeah," Sayaka says, looking faintly sick. "I... yeah, OK. Obviously."
"And... be careful how you talk about it.
Don't talk about it over telepathy, because Kyuubey will hear, and it
will weaponize it if it can," you say. "Timestop is safe. My privacy sphere is safe, and you've got a shadowcopy of that, right? With Kazumi's magic?"
"Yeah," Sayaka says. "This is... this is a lot."
"I know," you say. "I'm sorry."
"I asked for it," Sayaka says, squeezing her eyes shut. She buries her face in one hand, trying to squeeze her temples with outstretched thumb and index finger. "Mami doesn't know?"
"Yeah," you say, sighing. "I... I can go into it later, but for now, trust me when I say I have reasons for not telling her yet. She knows that there's a secret, and she's... she's agreed not to ask about it for now."
"OK," Sayaka says. "Right. Same choice you gave me, kinda. Right, I..." She takes another hard, shuddering breath, and looks up. "What are
we gonna do about this?"
[X] Thank Sayaka, and explain in some detail to her exactly how much you appreciate her choice to be told about the Witchbomb. Make it completely clear that this has been a huge, longstanding weight on you and that her choosing to be told about this stuff is just a really big deal for you on a personal level.
[] Elaborate on your plans and the people involved
- [] Write-in
[] Elaborate on any important details
- [] Write-in
=====
Just in case someone's unfamiliar with the pronunciation, the "Sa" in "Sayaka" is pronounced more like the "sa" in "sardine".
