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Puella Magi Adfligo Systema

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Onmur said:
*Crawling*

"Out of what?!"

"The vents!"

"Which vents?!"

"The vents you're in, Sabrina!"

"No!"

"Sabrina, you get out of there right now!"

"I'm getting out whenever I want to get out!"

"You get out of there or you're getting no cake tonight!"

"You wouldn't do that!"

"I would!"

"What's going on?"

"Sabrina won't get out of the vents again."

"Did you threaten to hold back the cake?"

"Of course I did!"

"And to hold back the hugs?"

"Let's not get crazy."
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Little did Mami know that when she finally lured Sabrina out, Sabrina left behind several chibis so she could technically still be inside the vents without actually being in the vents.

Actually, given that Sayaka's the one with the clones, not to mention blue hair, shouldn't she be the vent fiend?
 
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obssesednuker said:
Little did Mami know that when she finally lured Sabrina out, Sabrina left behind several chibis so she could technically still be inside the vents without actually being in the vents.

Actually, given that Sayaka's the one with the clones, not to mention blue hair, shouldn't she be the vent fiend?
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But Sabrina's the one with the brain damage.

DB_Explorer said:
Oriko: I'm revoking Kirika visitation rights

Sabrina: !!!!! D : No not that!
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Sabrina crawled out of the vents, crying exaggeratedly, only to be hugged and taken home by Mami.

Homura... stood there, looking at the successfully retrieved Sabrina, then at the smugly smiling Oriko. Then at the retreating Sabrina, then at the even smugger looking Oriko. Then at Sabrina as she and Mami turned around a corner. Then at Oriko's and Kirika's faces pressed together against each other, both of them giving Homura such a smug smile/grin combo, the time traveller exploded!

"Stop that," she snapped, rather.

"Why, my dear Homura," said girl's eye twitched, "I have no clue, whatever do you mean?"

"Stop," hissed Homura.

"Now that I think about it," mused Oriko, Kirika's finger tapping again her chin, "didn't I just save you quite a lot of time and frustration? Why, one would think you should be thankful?"

Purple eyes glared as if trying to set the smug cuddling couple on fire.

Alas, it only served to fuel their enjoyment of the situation, if Kirika's giggles were anything to go by.

"Now, I'm not here to rub it in your face how quickly and easily I dealt with our friend's bout of brain damage when you couldn't..." Oriko's smile turned into a sharp grin, a perfect mirror of Kirika's, as they both together rubbed the fact they handled the situation in a way Homura had failed to - in her face, "but I dare say, when somebody does you a favour like this, specially if they save you quite a headache, it's just manners to show appreciation for that fact, really, simply-"

"I'm not going to say thanks."

"You're welcome!" intoned Oriko and Kirika together, suddenly smiling brightly a inch from Homura's face.

"Egkh-" a choked sound escaped the time traveller lips as she flinched back and-

-A sound of clacking gears-

-disappeared.

The couple leaned against each other, shaking together in a fit of giggles.

"... Trolling Homura is so fun," commented Kirika after a moment, hand idly playing with Oriko's hair.

"Shouldn't you not antagonize her?" chimed in Sabrina's voice, a chibified version of her head poking out of the same vent the girl had crawled out of earlier. "You know she was pointing a gun at you for like, two minutes just now, right?"

"Hey," Kirika waved her off, "at this point, if she shoots, we win."

"And now that we've firmly established we are your friends..." a hint of smugness creeped back into Oriko's lips.

"... And that she finally is out of the timeloops..."

"... She simply won't dare."

"You could say..."

"... Everything went according to the scenario."

The Chibi Sabrina sighed, though not without a smile. "Kami save me from successful Hard Women Making Hard Decisions," saying so, she crawled back inside the vent.

Kirika grinned, waited a few seconds... and yelled!

"SABRINA HEADS UP!"

"What-!" BUMP! "-Ow! Kirikaaaaaaaaa!"

Oriko shook her head at Sabrina's declaration of swift and unexpected revenge, holding Kirika's head where it lay buried against her neck, to better muffle her laughter.

It wouldn't do for Sabrina to get offended enough to actually enact revenge.

It was a thin line the Kure couple walked nowadays.
 
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It was a quiet evening at the Kure mansion.

Oriko, Sabrina, Mami, and a grudgingly dragged along Homura were sitting in the living room, sharing tea and snacks, and eagerly watching the television, waiting for a certain show to start.

Quite some time had passed since that arduous month leading up to Walpurgisnacht's defeat, and their lives seemed to become even more difficult afterwards, leaving them little time to get together and simply enjoy each other's company.

Sabrina beamed at Homura, simply for the fact she was there. Homura rolled her eyes.

"Can I say," commented Mami, "I'm not certain this is a good idea?"

"Whatever do you mean," asked Oriko, an accusation in her voice.

"No offense, Oriko, but Kirika was not my first pick if I had to choose a Magical Girl for this."

"My dear Kirika wanted to be on T.V." the ex-Seer crossed her arms.

"Hey, chill," called Sabrina, holding Mami closer, "it's starting."

The four Magical Girls turned to watch the screen, which showed a smartly dressed woman sitting on a stage with none other than...

"... And here with me I've got one Kure Kirika, who claims to be one of the 'Magical Girls' who have shaken the world so much these days. Hello, Miss Kure."

"Hello~! And hello to Oriko out there! I know she's watching me."

"Oriko being another Magical Girl?"

"Yup, but Oriko's much more than that!"

Said girl swooned in her seat.

"Before we get side tracked, Miss Kure, could you explain what Magical Girls are? Do you have anything to say to the people claiming for gubernamental control over Magical Girls?"

"Pfft, as if that would do anything. Listen, we Magical Girls are a pretty normal sect, we share hugs and cuddles together, we do each others' nails and hair, we burn Witches together, all normal girly stuff, really."

"Did she just say sect?" murmured Mami, pinching the brindge of her nose.

Sabrina simply nodded, her hair brushing against the blonde's

"Some people have accused Magical Girls and witches of being one and the same."

"No, no, you got it all wrong, see? It's a pun, Magical Girls are Magical Girls, while witches are basically Magical Adults. Yuck. But really, if it wasn't for us, lots more people would be getting killed by Witches every day."

"So Magical Girls can't stop Witches from killing some times?"

"Well, of course not, are you crazy? We need to study, and hang out, have dates and get jobs like everyone else. We can't go around saving people's lives all the time. Plus, fighting Witches is dangerous and nobody pays us for it, you know? Really, people out there want to control us when they should be paying us, that would be a win-win because then being a Magical Girl could be a full time job and we'd save more people. Thankfully it's just a matter of time until things get better."

"Is she..." Sabrina scrunched one eye in a grimace, "Homura, do you think you could pop by there and stop this before it gets out of hand?"

"Just a matter of time? What makes you say that?"

"Well, you know Sabrina, right?"

"Homura?"

Said time traveller held a finger to her lips.

"Vee Sabrina?"

"Eh, she's just Sabrina to her friends, and let me tell you, we're pretty tight, so I know all about her plans to make the world better, by force if necessary! Hihihihihi!"

"Um, seriously-" insisted Sabrina, only to be cut off by a twin glare from Oriko and Homura.

"My Kirika's on TV."

"She's bringing up good points."

Sabrina gaped as the two simply turned back to watch the screen, in complete agreement with each other.

"There's been claims that Miss Vee has taken subversive actions against many governments."

"Pfft, that's nothing. Once Sabrina's done with the world, we'll have a great unified government who'll acknowledge and shelter Magical Girls, and everyone will have a fair wage, that is, within fair lower and higher limits, everyone's gonna have access to health care, education, blah blah blah, there'll be a good economy and all that stuff, and psychiatric care will be mandatory for everyone from the time they're born, and everyone's love lives will work out alright."

"Those are quite the claims to make... what about the rumour that Miss Vee is looking to fashion herself Empress of the World?"

"Hah! As if! Sabrina would be a terrible empress."

Homura, Oriko, and Mami nodded, the blonde cuddling closer to the white haired girl.

"So you deny these claims?"

"Yeah, Sabrina's gonna make Mami the World Empress."

"You are referring to Tomoe Mami, the Magical Girl many other seem to look up to?"

"Yeah, I'd say her campaign is pretty solid, she's got Sabrina eating out of her hand, she's got some cool looking ringlets, and can kick anyone's ass. Why, the only time I saw her not kick someone's ass was when I first met her, and that's because she didn't even need to, Oriko and I got our asses handed to us before Mami even had time to step in."

"How terrifying, Miss Kure. Are the rumours that Miss Tomoe and Miss Vee beat you and Miss Mikuni-"

"It's Kure now."

"I've been lead to understand-"

"She's. Oriko. Kure. Now. Understood?"

"... I understand, Miss Kure. If I may ask, is it true that the two of you were beaten into submission and forcibly integrated into Miss Tomoe's group against your will?"

"Oh, yeah, sure, it was pretty brutal."

"You do not deny these claims about the people you call friends?"

"Oh, no, we got lots of Stockholm Syndrome."

"Stockholm Syndrome?"

"Yeah, I was pretty angry at first, but they made sure to beat us up within acceptable limits and then were super nice and helped us. Really, Sabrina's told me in confidence about how hard it was to convince Homura to spare our lives, and that there were lots of tears involved, so I'd say she did us a solid, there."

"Miss Akemi was the one who wanted to kill both Miss Kure Oriko and you?"

"Yup. She's such a bitch, no matter how nice her hair is. And after convincing her, Sabrina had to convince Oriko, which let me tell you, I hear was a pretty harrowing, close thing. I love Oriko and would've supported her no matter what she went for, but I think being alive is pretty nice, so I'm glad we didn't die back th-"

"Ow, ow, ow, stop pulling already, I can walk on my own!" yelled Kirika, as her and Homura suddenly appeared in the middle of the living room.

By way of answer, Homura shoved her, as terrified screams rang out from the television.

"Hey-!"

Kirika's citrine eyes blinked as she bumped into Oriko, the taller girl's arms quickly wrapping themselves around her waist.

"Oriko~!" the crazed Magical Girl smiled a megawatt smile up at her girlfriend, "I was on TV!"

"And you're in trouble," answered Oriko in a non-nonsense tone.

Kirika immediately deflated.

"Noooooooooooooo..." she whined and let herself flop, to be held up only by Oriko's arms. "No faaaaaaair..."

"Well, maybe not too much trouble," smiled Oriko, rubbing a thumb against Kirika's cheek.

"Well, I see the show's over, we'll leave you alone for now," Sabrina quickly looked away while grabbing Mami's and Homura's arms and pulling them away and out the mansion. "Ciao, Oriko, Kirika!"

As the three girls left, a soft muttering was carried by the wind, a sinister whisper from a certain time traveller's lips barely managing to reach the couple inside.

"... dare call me bitch, you're in so much trouble once I..."

The couple shuddered as one, gulped, and sent a nervous look after their retreating friends.

"I'm gonna have to think up more dumb jokes," commented Kirika.

Oriko nodded. "Then we'll invite them for dinner, you do your best brain damaged buddies thing, and we'll use that good will to convince Sabrina to convince Akemi to not take revenge."

"Usually works, right?"

"Right."

With a shared sigh, tension bled off the Kure couple's shoulders, and so they returned to making lovey dovey doe eyes at each other.

"... Kure Kirika kidnapped straight from the stage in front of our eyes, apparently by the Magical Girl secret police force? What will the reperc-"

Oriko turned off the TV.
 
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Dantalion said:
Our mandate is 'fix EVERYTHING'. That includes her shield.
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"You... you'd really..."

"But first, tell me about your parents."

*Clacking gears*

"... We still haven't fixed that."

"..."

"When I said everything, I meant EVERYTHING. We need to talk about your family issues."

"Sabrina?"

"Yes?"

"..."

*Turns around and runs like hell*

"... I'll give you a headstart, it's only fair!"

"Thanks!"
 
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Onmur said:
"You... you'd really..."

"But first, tell me about your parents."

*Clacking gears*

"... We still haven't fixed that."

"..."

"When I said everything, I meant EVERYTHING. We need to talk about your family issues."

"Sabrina?"

"Yes?"

"..."

*Turns around and runs like hell*

"... I'll give you a headstart, it's only fair!"

"Thanks!"
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I know that 27 is a very big number, and you behave admirably even in your age, when you are actually expected to be in your dotage, but Onmur

Onmur said:
Red + Blue = Purple? :thonk:

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:V
 
Redshirt Army said:
Hmm. But if Homura is Sayaka and Kyouko's child, but Sabrina is Homura and Madoka's, but Madoka is Sayaka's waifu...

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You got it wrong, Sayaka is Madoka's waifu. Except Madoka passed her waifu to Sabrina's, so Sayaka's Sabrina's waifu. And Sabrina's also Sayaka's waifu. Except they broke up.

But now Sabrina is dating Mami, Sabrina is trying to set up both her moms together, Sayaka is in limbo, and Kyouko needs to get shipped with Sayaka because being a lone teenager mom is not fun.

Meanwhile, Oriko and Kirika are happy and plotting everyone's ships.

You thought they were plotting shit about saving the world and such, but in fact, Oriko's main goal is to ship everyone and have every ship grow happy and old and owe all that happiness to her.

And then she'll be able to hold that fact over everyone's heads. Specially Homura's.
 
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Onmur said:
And then she'll be able to hold that fact over everyone's heads. Specially Homura's.
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"Muahahahahaha! At last, the full extent of my evil scheme has been revealed! Tremble, fools, as you realize your every action was all according to my plan*!"

"That's not particularly evil, Oriko."

"Silence, puppet!"

*"plan" means "keikaku"
 
Onmur said:
"When I said everything, I meant EVERYTHING. We need to talk about your family issues."
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Homura: ... my father was distant, turned his back on the family legacy while my grandfather died before finishing my education in the glorious art of clockwork.
Sarbina: Wait really?
Homura: ... I can't remember which timeline is my actual family history and I like that one the most.
Sabrina: .. ... screw it deploying Hugs
Homura: your wh- *gets Madoka thrown at her*
Sabrina: New Hugs! Improved! 100% MORE DOKA!
 
Shadowhisker said:
...Does Homura even remember anything from before the loops? It has been over a decade of Hell for her.
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Onmur said:
"What are parents?"
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:V

Even if she remembered them, I don't think Homu would give a shit about her 'parents', if she even supposedly has them.

Theories about Homura's parenthood abound, from Homu being an orphan raised in a catholic church (which in Japan were AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BAD apparently) to Homura's parents working practically 24/7 to pay her hospital bills and thus being absent, to I don't know what else.

But Homu. Homu cares about Madoka.
 
Onmur said:
Theories about Homura's parenthood abound, from Homu being an orphan raised in a catholic church (which in Japan were AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BAD apparently) to Homura's parents working practically 24/7 to pay her hospital bills and thus being absent, to I don't know what else.
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Now I'm picturing like the day AFTER WPN Homura gets a call from her mother asking how she is. Like a perfectly normal call from a parent who sent their kid to get top tier education and healthcare elsewhere. For the mom its just her standard pseudo-monthly call (or just calling since Homura has not sent any emails since getting out of the hospital.)

For Homura its the first call from her parents in a decade.

Edit: Bonus sads! - Homura finishes the call then starts crying as Sabrina or Madoka (or Mami even) hugs her since she couldn't remember her mothers voice.

[Homura answers phone]
Homura: Akemi speaking.
Mom: Hello Homura-Chan~ I just wanted to call see how you were doing, you haven't sent any emails since they let you out of the hospital.
Homura: ... who is this?
Mom: [Laughs] It's mom silly -are you that mad I missed the normal call? I'm sorry dear, the firm got a new client and the work got out of hand.
Homura: [Looks at phone and stares for a long long second]
>Conversation continues then ends<
Homura: *closes call then breaks down into tears*
 
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DB_Explorer said:
For Homura its the first call from her parents in a decade.
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Or, depending on how far this timeline has drifted from the original incarnation (in terms of Homura's backstory), the first call in ever.

Imagine Homu's parents' reaction. Their sickly, shy daughter has suddenly transformed into a cold, broken young woman, who has no clue who these people are, and refutes any connection to them.

Wouldn't that be a punch in the gut for the Akemis?
 
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This is the most gut-wrenching theory I've ever read. Someone please, please write this in full fic form - done well, I think the concept could dethrone Persephone's Waltz as the best Madoka fanfic evarz.
 
Anann said:
This is the most gut-wrenching theory I've ever read. Someone please, please write this in full fic form - done well, I think the concept could dethrone Persephone's Waltz as the best Madoka fanfic evarz.
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... ....
...........

*runs around screaming*

I've only seen the main series! I have no idea if I can write well enough to do it justice!

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS! (#CronaProblems)
 
DB_Explorer said:
Now I'm picturing like the day AFTER WPN Homura gets a call from her mother asking how she is. Like a perfectly normal call from a parent who sent their kid to get top tier education and healthcare elsewhere. For the mom its just her standard pseudo-monthly call (or just calling since Homura has not sent any emails since getting out of the hospital.)

For Homura its the first call from her parents in a decade.

Edit: Bonus sads! - Homura finishes the call then starts crying as Sabrina or Madoka (or Mami even) hugs her since she couldn't remember her mothers voice.

[Homura answers phone]
Homura: Akemi speaking.
Mom: Hello Homura-Chan~ I just wanted to call see how you were doing, you haven't sent any emails since they let you out of the hospital.
Homura: ... who is this?
Mom: [Laughs] It's mom silly -are you that mad I missed the normal call? I'm sorry dear, the firm got a new client and the work got out of hand.
Homura: [Looks at phone and stares for a long long second]
>Conversation continues then ends<
Homura: *closes call then breaks down into tears*
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Shadowhisker said:
Or, depending on how far this timeline has drifted from the original incarnation (in terms of Homura's backstory), the first call in ever.

Imagine Homu's parents' reaction. Their sickly, shy daughter has suddenly transformed into a cold, broken young woman, who has no clue who these people are, and refutes any connection to them.

Wouldn't that be a punch in the gut for the Akemis?
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To top it all off,

Mrs. Akemi: "Are you one of Homura's friends? I'm so glad-"

Sabrina: "I'm your granddaughter!"

Mrs. Akemi: "... Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..."

Sabrina: "So I got that from you, grandma!"

Mrs. Akemi: *Turns to Homura* "You're in so much trouble." *Faints*
 
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