IT'S SHITTY BUT I WROTE A CHRISTMAS OMAKE GUYS (on the up side it only took about an hour!)
Hey onmur write a better one plz
In the twenty-second century, there was only war.
How fucking ironic can you get, the blue-haired girl thought to herself as she paused amidst the carnage, pulled from the battle by the stray thought. She might have liked Warhammer, but she never wanted to live it.
Ugh, she could just see it now, saying that and then inevitably somebody -- probably Homura, she was like that -- would respond "be careful what you wish for," and then she'd -- then...
"I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST DID THAT TO MYSELF!"
An identical blue-haired girl started and looked over at the scream of frustration, the torrent of lightning that had been pouring from her ceasing suddenly at the surprise, but merely shrugged and returned to her task. She was only a clone after all, and her job was to kill things, no matter if the original was telling herself shitty predictable jokes.
Letting her palm slide down her face, the blunette sighed and then rubbed her eyes. She'd been doing this too damn long. Holding back the forces of darkness -- Witches, Wraiths, whatever you wanted to call them: Sabrina insisted that it was a mix of both -- spilling from what had used to be Beijing was quite necessary and a full-time requirement, but her vacation (really, a setup where she was working eight hours a day seven days a week on the front lines, but that was a vacation) had been interrupted following the disaster at Cairo High-Karma Shift Inhibition, and she'd been tasked single-handedly to this hellhole since then in order to free up the four thousand or so meguca normally stationed here so that they could go do this same thing over in Egypt and also hunt down all the shit that had managed to flood out before a containment had been set up.
Back when the first breaches had started to open up, they'd been so very hopeful -- Mitakihara had just finished asserting itself over the Asian supercontinent on top of SEA and California, and then...
Well, according to Sabrina, what was going on was that the Incubators had decided to use their method of FTL travel to sort of link places on Earth to places that had equivalents of what Earth would've gotten if Madoka had contracted and then Witched out.
The results were Very Bad, and would've been worse if Mitakihara hadn't promptly put up a space elevator and started slagging parts of the planet from orbit with lasers run on gargantuan solar collectors. It'd been very, very slapdash at first -- oh, there were books out there that went on and on about how genius it had been, but it had started with Sabrina getting on her serious face and informing everyone that they were going to "nuke it from orbit," and then they'd all gone up in a timestop and just kind of thrown around everything they had to make the collectors as large as possible. The elevator itself had long been formalized and done over with steel and whatnot, but there were still giant panels of ribbons and vines and chains haphazardly lashed together acting to gobble down the sun's light (and cast the planet below into a twilight lit mainly by the moon) because they were much too large to replace.
Everyone had hoped that that would be the end of it, but when Sabrina had turned the Light on the Beijing breach, although it had indeed seared away the darkness there, it was observed that with every second that the power of the sun was fired through the breach its output only went up.
This was why Beijing was the worst of the lot, and it was why the planet was still mired in, well, Daemons.
So here she was, pulled away from her harem, being a big damn hero 24/7 for the foreseeable future. It was great, but it sucked lots.
Her only real consolation was that with Sabrina and Mami preoccupied trying to figure out what had happened at Cairo, surely she wasn't the only person who was missing-- oh who was she kidding, they were probably doing science in each others' laps.
Sayaka's melancholy was not improved by the weather. Although she had a fully climate-controlled bubble courtesy of enchanted gear, and despite the fact that the snow was pretty, all it really did was remind her that she wasn't going to be in Mitakihara to enjoy it.
But now, I must call you, my readers, close -- you see, this is not the end of our little story tonight. No. It is Christmas Day, and to leave a poor meguca in such sorry straits -- well, it would be a terrible injustice.
But you see, in the grim dark of the twenty-second century, not all is only war. And Sayaka had, perhaps reasonably -- I would not want a clock if I was to be killing Witches and Wraiths 24/7 -- lost track of time and forgotten something important.
So it was that at that moment, having just accidentally told herself a terrible joke, the clock around the world of the twenty-second century struck twelve, and not just any twelve but the twelve (at night) of Christmas Day.
And Sayaka found herself elsewhere.
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"You're Santa Claus." The accusation was pointed and blunt, the testimony of an unbeliever presented with an incredible reality.
Across from the accusing blunette stood the man himself -- a barrel chest, a snowy beard, and a serious look that should not have been upon Jolly Saint Nick. "Indeed I am," he confirmed, "and you are Sayaka Miki."
The look of frustration on the girl's face couldn't have been more clear. Santa wasn't real, and the Santa Association's existence didn't change that. Sure, people got presents every year on Christmas "from Santa," but that was as real as the -- as the Elves which supposedly made them and were clearly visible through the door of the room, hard at work sorting wrapped packages into large bags.
But Santa wasn't done. "You are Sayaka Miki," he continued, "and you are going to help me save Christmas this year."
What?
Why would Christmas need saving? The Santa Association was -- was...
"Oh fuck," breathed Sayaka, "it was in Cairo, wasn't it?"
The elderly man nodded. "The wish magic which powers Christmas each year is powerful, but nothing is immutable. One critical thing prevents me from simply retrieving the toys lost in Cairo: Santa Claus is to be received, not seen or heard or known to exist."
Seeing the blank look on the girl's face, a hand stroked a beard and a mouth curled in pensive thought. "Your friend Sabrina would describe it as conceptual bullshit: as I was wished to be, so must I be. One does not simply catch Santa Claus in the act."
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What followed was a tale that Sayaka would never relate to anyone, ever: it was publicly known that Sayaka Miki saved Christmas that year by diving into the Cairo breach time and again to retrieve the lost presents of the Santa Association, and then distributed them round' the world in a marathon night to make cloners jealous and teleporters feel claustrophobic. But nobody had seen her deliver the presents, and all of her friends were quite certain she hadn't had time to acquire the ones that she personally gave to them that Christmas. Nobody could explain why the breaches were closed, if only for that single day, why everyone got to return to their families for the celebrations.
Sabrina asked how she had done it -- but Sayaka's only response was that it had been the magic of Christmas.
But of course it was clear that Sayaka had done it -- after all, only she did not receive a present from "Santa Claus."
And nobody thought twice, not Mami, not Sabrina, not Hitomi or Kyouko or Kyousuke, no-one indeed considered, even as she kissed her harem each, that Sayaka's Christmas Present was to be at home, away from the breach.