It takes you just a heartbeat to decide.
You let your guard down.
You let yourself feel the
weight.
"Tired," you whisper, answering honestly. "So very tired."
"Sabrina?" Mami asks. "What's wrong?"
You take a shuddering breath. "Too many things happening at once. Just... too many things going wrong, all at once," you say. "I don't... I don't think I can deal with everything."
And sometimes, you wonder if you can deal with
anything.
There's so much to
do to set up for the future. Walpurgisnacht and Feathers and... magical girls, and Witches. You need to figure out
something, but there's precious little for you to start from. You think that enchantment might help you with de-Witching, and you don't know what you'll
do if you can't.
"Oh, Sabrina," Mami says, hugging you close. You close your eyes, just letting her soothe you. She nudges you over towards the bench - you're aware of Homura and Sayaka and Madoka and Hitomi arriving, but Madoka obviously urges them to pull back for a moment.
"You don't have to deal with everything alone," Mami whispers gently, rubbing your back soothingly.
It feels odd, being the one comforted.
"I'm-" you say, voice hitching. "I'm trying."
It's true. You involve your friends where you can, but you're so
worried for Mami. You're worried for
Homura, and now Sayaka. And not to forget Madoka, either. You worry about how much you can put on them, and... maybe more practically than that,
they don't have the time to spare, either.
"Alright," Mami says, still hugging you. "I'm always willing to help you, OK? However I can."
It feels
nice, being the one comforted.
You breathe out. "Yeah," you agree. Yeah. She
is. A faint smile touches your face. "Thanks, Mami."
"Oh, Sabrina... you've done so much for me," she breathes. "Me, and everyone else. It's the least I can do."
"Mm," you say. "How are
you doing, Mami?" you ask.
"I'm... alright," she answers. "I'm worried about you, Sabrina."
"Yeah... Things'll work out, I'm sure," you say, smiling up at Mami. "Besides, I have you and everyone, to help me, right?"
"Right," Mami says firmly. "We can talk over lunch?"
"Yea-"
Sayaka cuts you off. "Hi, Sabrina!" she calls nonchalantly, stretching grandly as if she's just arrived. Madoka, Homura, and Hitomi follow her out of the stairwell. "How're you doing?"
You give her a flat look. "I -
we- knew you were there," you say tartly, glancing at Mami. She nods in confirmation. "And you're a terrible actress."
"We didn't look!" Madoka protests.
"I know," you say, smiling as you look around at all your friends, all wandering into the roof - Madoka and Hitomi have rather sheepish expressions, and Sayaka's looking somewhat abashed. Homura is... Homu-ing. She's mildly annoyed, you think, which is frankly to be expected.
Ah, well.
Everyone settles themselves on the stone benches - Madoka on the bench opposite to you, Sayaka and Homura on her left and right. Hitomi sits, at Sayaka's insistence, on her other side. Mami sits beside you, of course.
"Are you alright, Sabrina?" Madoka asks, soft pink eyes anxious as you all start in on your lunch.
"Yeah... more or less," you say with a smile. "I've just had a long morning. A few long days, really."
"Yeah, I'm sure," Sayaka says, glancing up at you from her lunch. "Saved any kittens this morning?"
"... in a manner of speaking," you say. A pair of white and black kittens, in point of fact. A fairly adorable pair.
"What, really?" Sayaka asks, giving you a quizzical look.
"Kiiiind of," you say. You sigh, pressing your lips together. "Though... well. I need to talk to all of you."
Everyone takes notice of that. Mami sits up a little straighter, setting her lunchbox aside for the moment, while Madoka turns an anxious expression on you. Sayaka and Hitomi both look rather curious, tempered by worry. Homura frowns slightly, looking faintly worried.
"What is it, Sabrina?" Mami asks.
"It... well, I might have made our lives more complicated," you say. "Not to put too fine a point on it - I'm... just about unique, as magical girls are. It's not boasting or anything. My powers, my ability to cleanse Grief is unique." You're explaining more for Madoka and Hitomi and Sayaka's benefit, really.
Mami nods.
"Go on," Homura prompts, voice quiet. There's a small frown on her face - she
knows where this is going.
You grimace. "I might have made our lives more complicated. I haven't exactly been keeping it quiet, so... word's probably-" no
probably about it, but bringing up Oriko is a whole other can of worms, "-spreading. And we might be getting... immigrants at some point."
"I see," Homura says, frown smoothing out into an impassive mask.
She's hiding.
Mami purses her lips. "That... could be problematic," she says thoughtfully. "Mitakihara can't support too many more magical girls." She glances at you. "I mean, I'm sure you can help, Sabrina, but you can't be everywhere."
"Yeah, I know," you agree. "That's why I'm worried about it. And it's more people to manage and more people who might have conflicts with each other."
Homura exhales. "We'll just turn them away," she says without any particular emphasis - but you know what she means.
"Oh..." Madoka says, wringing her hands. "Is there anything I can help with?"
"Don't be silly, Madoka!" Sayaka exclaims, clapping the pinkette on the back. "We'll handle it. Right, Mami? Sabrina, Homura?"
[] Write-in
=====
Open mouth...
