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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

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MadScientist said:
I advise against revenge-torturing a woman for trusting her brother more than her daughter. That seems like the sort of thing that we shouldn't be doing. Even given the circumstances.
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I don't think Mari would kill or torture her, especially now that Mari has the chance to 'restart' her family life, she might want to get closure on that front. I mean Mari is now probably more than capable to convince her mother that her uncle was an asshole than many years ago.
 
If Mari wanted her mother dead, she'd be dead, just like her uncle. I don't see how we can improve the situation as is. Especially without Mari's consent.

On that note, do we even know, IC, enough of Mari's circumstances to infer what her relationship with her mother is like?
 
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Regarding birthday presents: you are firmly encouraged to come up with your own birthday present ideas, which the characters will then analyse for viability and, if necessary, choose between. As this is a present from you to Jiraiya, it is not something the QMs intend to come up with on your behalf.

In terms of Mist traditions that the characters know and you don't, feel free to offer ideas for what such traditions might be. Particularly plausible ones may be canonised in some form.
 
We could give Jiraiya a glass paperweight to match Mari's. Something like

Jiraiya Goketsu.
Sannin. Toad Summoner. Fifth Hokage. Bestselling author.
Clan father.

It isn't the greatest idea. Most of its value comes from the fact that it is obviously a counterpart to Mari's gift, and he knows how important Mari is to Team Uplift.
 
Jiraiya doesn't strike me as someone who particularly likes stuff. He's spent most of his life on the road, and it's not his habit to accumulate physical objects.

I'd go with something more transient. Make his birthday more pleasant in some way with a meal or an entertainment. Something that makes a good memory. Maybe find some friends of his that he hasn't had time for in a while and get them to hang out for an evening. Personal, but not an object.
 
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Gift him a replica Mizukage hat bought from a cheap tourist shop.
 
Wedding gift traditions of the Village Hidden In The Mist:


The Dead Fish:

Exactly what it says on the tin. This is the traditional gift given to the groom by his new In Laws. The freshness and size of the fish is indicative of the general disposition of the In Laws to the groom. A three weeks dead guppie for example, would be the equivalent of giving death threats. Legend has it that the First Mizukage received a freshly caught chakra megalodon as a wedding gift.


Ceremonial Dance:

This tradition is native exclusively to the Kurosawa clan, because it is nearly impossible to perform without the Iron Nerve. The gift giver performs an extremely complicated and intricate dance (rumored to have been invented by the first two Kurosawa during a competition to determine which of them had better mastery of the Iron Nerve), while singing I am the very model of a modern anbu general a traditional Mist wedding song at the same time.


The Head Of The Groom's Most Hated Enemy:

Self explanatory. This practice has been discouraged in recent years.


Giant Chocolate Swan Statue:

Another Kurosawa favorite, as they can carve it themselves. The bigger and more expensive, the better.


An Itemized List Of Each Way The Groom Is Likely To Die:

The Mori are a very practical bunch. They are also very macabre. It's always awkward when "assassinated by your father/mother in law" is at the top of the list, but it does usually get the point across. Usually followed by an itemized list of the best ways to avoid dying.


A Huge Bucket Of Water:

A Wakahisa tradition. Symbolizes male fertility. According to superstition, the more water is spilled on the groom when he receives it, the more children he will have.

Edit:
Giant Eggs From A Chakra Trout:
Similar to the Bucket Of Water, but practiced by all of Mist. The couple eats an egg for every baby they want to have. Also popular at baby showers.

Edit Edit:
More seriously, maybe an ice sculpture? Flowers, swans, possibly a chakra cupid?
 
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Briefvoice said:
Jiraiya doesn't strike me as someone who particularly likes stuff. He's spent most of his life on the road, and it's not his habit to accumulate physical objects.

I'd go with something more transient. Make his birthday more pleasant in some way with a meal or an entertainment. Something that makes a good memory. Maybe find some friends of his that he hasn't had time for in a while and get them to hang out for an evening. Personal, but not an object.
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I was thinking of something symbolizing our familial connection, in the vein of a gift an adoptee into a family receives. Formally, he adopted us into the Goketsu Clan, but in terms of family dynamics, it's more like we're adopting him, taking him into the fold of Team Uplift. Can be something very simple he could carry on his person at all times.

All this must be a new situation to him still, I think. He described himself as not having a lot of personal connections in Leaf, his parents are very likely dead, he's estranged from his teammates, and his mentor and father-figure died recently. I bet most of his contact with other people has been purely professional in nature for a while, so suddenly having kids and a wife, and living with them, must've been quite the change in lifestyle.

So the idea is a present saying "Remember you have a family now.". What a good realization of it would be, I have no clue.
 
Roomba said:
I was thinking of something symbolizing our familial connection, in the vein of a gift an adoptee into a family receives. Formally, he adopted us into the Goketsu Clan, but in terms of family dynamics, it's more like we're adopting him, taking him into the fold of Team Uplift. Can be something very simple he could carry on his person at all times.

All this must be a new situation to him still, I think. He described himself as not having a lot of personal connections in Leaf, his parents are very likely dead, he's estranged from his teammates, and his mentor and father-figure died recently. I bet most of his contact with other people has been purely professional in nature for a while, so suddenly having kids and a wife, and living with them, must've been quite the change in lifestyle.

So the idea is a present saying "Remember you have a family now.". What a good realization of it would be, I have no clue.
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Maybe we could design our clan sigil, if we don't have one? Something that works from a Team Uplift perspective, but also has some connection to his old teams (Sarutobi, the Sannin, Minato...)?
 
Roomba said:
I was thinking of something symbolizing our familial connection, in the vein of a gift an adoptee into a family receives. Formally, he adopted us into the Goketsu Clan, but in terms of family dynamics, it's more like we're adopting him, taking him into the fold of Team Uplift. Can be something very simple he could carry on his person at all times.
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And it has to be able to explode. Otherwise it won't be in the same theme as all of our other presents. We don't want him to feel left out, do we? :p
 
A reminder to those of us who felt we didn't have enough on our plate and needed to involve ourselves with Mari's mother: There's still Yamamoto Haru to defuse.

Vecht said:
How about we just win the Chuunin exams and let that be our gift to him?
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Bit of a delayed gift, considering the tournament takes place a month after the last event. Making a birthday gift of something you were going to do anyway is very lazy as well.
 
Oneiros said:
We could write Jiraiya a book of smut
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That sounds like something we'd get bonus XP for putting in a plan, just for giving whoever is writing the update the opportunity to write a scene of Hazou and Keiko trying to do this.

EDIT: And we could also put in some bullet-points on how to do it, just so Hazou can have a list prepared for the occasion.
 
We could always write a Kagome-approved sealing book in the style of smut, as a joke :p

e: TBH though we don't really have time to write.
 
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