To: Mr. Bruce O'Brian, Mr. George Lucas, and Mr. Michael Eisner
From: Mrs. Beatrix Potter, Head of the Merchandising Division
Date: April 22, 1980
Re: Progress Report on the Planning of New Merchandising Creation for Potential VHS Re-release
Dear Mr. O'Brian, Mr. Lucas, and Mr. Eisner,
I am writing to provide a progress report on the planification of new merchandising creation in anticipation of a potential forthcoming re-release in VHS format. The focus of this report is the completion or abandonment of projects, milestones achieved, tasks planned for the next months, and current roadblocks.
Completed or Abandoned Projects and Milestones Achieved:
1. Graphic Products: We have gathered enough arts and designs to meet our needs for products based on printed art, such as posters, t-shirts, lunch boxes, rugs, pajamas, coloring books, towels, key rings, shower curtains, balloons, stickers, badges, pins, bags, hats, magnets, cups, etc. These designs will be sent to printers and factories as usual.
2. Decoration "Dawn of the Dead": Unfortunately, we had to abandon the project of an animated and hyper-realistic zombie Halloween decoration. The estimated development and manufacturing costs would have required selling at least 167,000 units at a minimum price of $72,000 each to avoid making a loss. The technology for mass-producing such a product does not yet exist.
3. Novelization and Comic: Scripts have been sent to our usual editors for conversion into books and comics. The work is on track, but it represents a significant workload.
4. Figurines, Ships, Cars, and Other Toys: The designs for these molded plastic and molded metal toys have been approved, and the molds have been created and stored. Everything is ready for a possible VHS re-release.
5. The Rocky Boxing Gloves: The sewing patterns for the amateur version have been archived. We are awaiting a response from the United States Amateur Boxing Federation to determine if the gloves meet the official standards for use in boxing matches. Once we receive their feedback, we will either modify the gloves and resend the file if not approved or proceed with archiving them for the re-release if approved.
6. Bruce Lee Body Pillow: At the request of Mr. Bruce Lee's family and with the order of Mr. Bruce O'Brian, the plans for the "Enter the Dragon" body pillow have been burned. Any further attempts in this direction will result in dismissal.
Problems Solved:
1. "My First Sound Recorder" Kit: The technical problems with the kit based on the movie "Blow Out" have been resolved. The kit now consists of a microphone, a headset, and a cassette recorder, simplifying the product and making it more similar to the recorder used by the film's protagonist.
Tasks Planned for the Next Months:
1. Weapons: Once we receive the go-ahead from you, we will begin contacting firearms manufacturers to find one capable of producing functional and dummy reproductions of the iconic guns from our films. Due to the variety of styles, weapon types, and periods, as well as the need for different quality levels for luxury, medium, and low-cost series, it may be challenging to find a single manufacturer that can meet all our needs. We might need to consider creating our own weapons manufacturer or establishing contracts with multiple manufacturers specialized in different types and periods. The same applies to bladed/blunt weapons, although with less legal paperwork.
2. Remote-Controlled Vehicles: Our engineering office will start working on a basic plan for a generic remote-controlled car that can accommodate the bodywork of any land vehicle. This approach should help reduce costs compared to our usual method of creating fully personalized vehicles for each specific model. If successful, we will apply the same process to remote-controlled planes and boats.
3. Statuettes: We plan to start the project to create statuettes and figurines targeting adolescents and adults. To facilitate purchase, we propose making them more like decorations than toys, with fixed and epic poses, sober tones, and solid materials such as resins, stone, and metal. The price will be increased to position them as precious decorations rather than toys, making it more socially acceptable for our older fans to own them.
4. Hair Care Gel "Conan the Barbarian": We are exploring the development of a hair care gel inspired by Conan's magnificent mane. A research company specializing in cosmetics is currently studying the feasibility of this product.
Current Roadblocks:
1. Costumes and Disguise: While progress is being made, we are facing a minor problem with the sewing patterns for the rigid "kaiju" and "gundam" full-body disguises. Our usual manufacturers do not have the necessary machines for creating these costumes. We will need to find alternative suppliers for this specific requirement.
2. "Lone Wolf and Cub" Stroller: The toy version with the "cub"baby doll and the remote-controlled version are ready. However, we are experiencing difficulties with the functional version. Finding an importer or bamboo silviculturist who can provide a suitable product is proving challenging. We are striving to ensure sufficient structural solidity for the safety of potential buyers' babies while maintaining resemblance to those in the film. Unfortunately, our current attempts have not been successful, as crash tests have resulted in the baby test mannequin being pierced from all sides. We will continue our search, but we may have to settle for alternative materials, such as painted metals.
3. Research of the Responsible Party: We are discreetly investigating who introduced the "Hardcore" inflatable sex doll project into the system. The legal department and the public relations department are concerned and aim to prevent its spread, particularly to Mrs. Season Hubley, whose character is targeted by the project. This development is inappropriate, especially considering her recent childbirth.
4. "Hiawatha" Smoking: We are still awaiting a response from the FDA regarding applicable regulations for the sale of calumets and native traditional pipe weed mixtures.
5. Car Accessories: The Mad Max car accessory project is currently under discussion in the legal department. However, it does not appear to be progressing well. Most of these accessories pose a significant danger to pedestrians, drivers, and other motorists even in minor accidents or during regular use. Indefinitely continuing with this project would be ill-advised.
Please let me know if you require any further information or clarification on these matters.
Yours sincerely,
Mrs. Beatrix Potter
Head of the Merchandising Division
