Answers and Questions
- Location
- Rockford, USA
- Pronouns
- They/Them
[X] No, they're not true
[X]--But there's not really anything we can do about it right now without playing into Lady Vegeta's hands. She pulled Father over a barrel by playing on how I got beat up while pushing Jaffur to Ascend--she lied to him, and he believed her enough that he was willing to hold me down while she did this. I will make this right somehow, I just need to figure out how to do it without destroying us as a people.
No. of votes: 14
[X]--But there's not really anything we can do about it right now without playing into Lady Vegeta's hands. She pulled Father over a barrel by playing on how I got beat up while pushing Jaffur to Ascend--she lied to him, and he believed her enough that he was willing to hold me down while she did this. I will make this right somehow, I just need to figure out how to do it without destroying us as a people.
No. of votes: 14
Answers and Questions
You swallow. The choice is easy, of course. Grandma would probably throw you out if you lied and said yes.
"No, the rumors aren't true," you say. "I fought with Jaffur during the Sealing."
She relaxes in a very definite way, tension easing out of her body and making her less ready to spring in any given direction.
The realization that she was prepared for combat makes you abruptly realize that on a matter of this magnitude, questioning your father is a matter of talking treason. She's taking quite the risk, opening up to you. The realization spurs you onwards, afraid that she'll do something rash.
"But there's not really anything we can do about it right now," you say. "Not without playing into Lady Vegeta's hands."
Grandma raises an eyebrow. "Oh? And how is that?"
You take a breath and forge onwards. "She pulled Dad over a barrel by playing on how I got beat up while pushing Jaffur to ascend -- she lied to him, and he believed her enough that he was willing to hold me down while she did this." You take a breath -- they're coming shorter at the moment, for whatever reason. "I will make this right somehow, I just need to figure out how to do it without destroying us as a people."
"Oh, Kakara..." Grandma's voice is soft, and so are her eyes, and that funny feeling in your chest gets more pronounced. "You don't have to be so responsible about this. It's not your job. Situations like this are exactly why Lords don't reign for life -- there should always be somebody who's done it before to check them. This isn't your job, Kakara, it's mine."
"But I'm stronger," you say, looking at the floor. "I'm sorry. I am, at least a little bit."
"You are," she says. "Much, so much stronger than me, and I've been around enough fighters to have no illusions about our relative skill. You've trained so hard, and I know you don't like it. But this isn't your job. This is what grown-ups are for."
"But I need to h-help," you say, breathing hard. "I have to. Everything's going wrong, and I know I can fix it! I have to!"
And suddenly, hug. Grandma steps forward and brings you into her chest. "Maybe so," she says, tone neutral. "But we can argue about that later. For now, tell me everything that happened. You were there. You tell me."
It all comes spilling out. From the moment you met Jaffur to the moment he was Sealed. His mother's visit, his father's brutality, and his strange savagery and kindness.
But you don't stop there. Once the flow starts, it doesn't simply cease, and you find yourself sinking deeper and deeper into Grandma's arms as you start talking about the growing distance and bitterness between you and your father.
"...and then he told me he didn't have time, so he told Peapa to and that was okay, he's busy, b-but then I saw him training Mato even though he said he didn't have t-time, and now I'm so mad and he's mad, and Mato, and- and everybody's mad at me! And I don't know what to do!" At some point, you started crying.
Grandma smooths down your hair, making little whispery noises that make you feel better somehow, and slowly the tears subside. The two of you are sitting now -- her on a chair, and you in her lap. She rocks you back and forth, keeping up those soothing motions.
"I don't know what do," you whisper, feeling hollowed out. "I don't know why Dad's mad at me, and whenever we talk I just feel so mad that I can't say anything nice! And all I can think about is how everybody always says that Dad's so patient, and how he always listens and thinks, and why didn't he do that for Jaffur?!"
She sighs. "I know why he's angry," she says, and she sounds bitterly, crushingly disappointed to be saying it. "And I know why he didn't -- couldn't -- wait. He is my son, and I know him very well. Would you like to know why?"
You nod, silently. She shifts against you. "Okay. First things first: you know, from your eavesdropping, that your father and Lord Vegeta were once friends. They were the best of friends, nearly brothers. They never went anywhere separately, even when they should have. They got into a lot of trouble that way. Yammar and I were never personally friendly -- we were professionals at all times, and that was enough. But we knew how valuable a pair of Lords who were such close friends could be. Your father's dream of uniting the Clans? It was ours, first, or did you think we loosened the population controls thoughtlessly? Letting our people have as many children as they wanted was a very deliberate move. We meant for it to be the first step in a grand reunification, to be furthered by your parents and completed by you and Jaffur. And after that...our resurgence, our return to the stars that these visionless humans here on Garenhuld are content to let lay. Our old strength, returned, our might, ours again, until eventually we might surpass even the gods, and destroy the Enemy.
"But we were foolish. We two...we knew that we could not be the ones to do it, and we contented ourselves with the usual state of affairs -- opposing Lord and Lady, and nothing more. We never strove to surpass it. And so I taught my son, by my example, to fear and oppose the Lord Vegeta's might and cruelty. And in the destruction of House Talt, Yammar laid the seeds for Vegeta's descent into madness. Our actions shouted so loudly that our sons could barely hear us speak."
"So she did lie," you mutter. "Lady Vegeta. She lied. It wasn't the Saiyan that made Vegeta crazy, it was just his Dad."
She sighs. "No, I doubt she lied. I doubt she thought she lied at all, from what you've told me," says Grandma.
You blink. "But you just said-"
"So I did," she replies. "But child, remember that while sometimes people lie, more often they are simply wrong. Never assume malice where there is ample room for stupidity. I think Dandeer believes every word she said. I only dispute how correct she is."
You shrug, not entirely convinced.
"But I've come off-course," she says. "I was speaking of House Talt. It is easy and tempting to lay the blame for our sons' ruined friendship at Yammar's feet, and truthfully, I once did. But if I had not taught your father that he needed to embody the check to the boy who should have been his friend, perhaps he would not have reacted as he did.
"On the face of it, Berra was accepting of Vegeta's remorse for what happened. Did you know that Yammar killed the children of House Talt in front of their parents? He captured them all alive, and then set the youngest free, giving her the chance to fight for their freedom and life. And when she failed, he tortured the girl to death. She was six years old. And then he called for the next oldest. And throughout it all, Vegeta was made to watch.
"It broke him. He put a brave face on it, after the initial burst of grief, but the wound festered -- just as blame and horror festered in my son. And it all came to a head a decade later, when you were three years old."
She shudders. "Imagine waking to the skies turning red and the earth beneath you shaking as your son's aura roars out across the landscape in titanic rage. Imagine the feeling of him being opposed by a presence, more than an aura, a screaming thing shrieking of betrayal, rage, and madness. Imagine the feeling of realizing all at once that you have failed completely and utterly, and that in your failure you might have doomed the world to destruction -- not out of malice, but as a simple side effect of two titans going to war. It was terrifying, and I still have no idea how we convinced the humans that a simple meteor was to blame.
"I don't know what passed between them, that day. But I can guess; Berra slipped. He'd been holding in his disgust for ten years, and I suppose that on that day it all came out. And to Vegeta, that would have felt like base treachery. His friendship with Berra was all that was holding him in one piece. I almost feel sorry for Dandeer, saying that, but Vegeta was always closer to Berra than her. And then...all of it, poisoned at once."
"But what does this have to do with Jaffur?" you ask.
Grandma looks at you. "That comes back to Dandeer, as it seems everything to do with this mess does. She was a friend of theirs from youth, and an early crush of Vegeta's. They were married a few years after your parents were. And her suffering has always been plain, since the falling out. Vegeta is pitiable, make no mistake, but never think of him as anything less than a monster. Dandeer has suffered more than anybody. I never imagined what exactly she's been through, though, not until you told me. But even what was obvious was bad enough. And your father, the entire time, has been forced to stand back and watch that suffering."
"But why just believe her?" you burst out. "Daddy is patient! Everybody says so, I've never met a person who said anything else. It's the first thing they say about him! Why didn't he take the time to think about this?"
"Kakara, that's what I've been trying to tell you," says Grandma. "Your father has sat and watched and thought for years as his friends' marriage turned into a living hell and all his ambitions turned to ash. It all started because he couldn't stay quiet and keep from judging Vegeta. He has been living what nearly every grown-up would call their worst nightmare -- watching as everything they held dear and everything they had planned was destroyed while they could stop it, but didn't dare. And as far as he's concerned, it's all his fault."
You shoot her a betrayed look. "But you don't like it either! It doesn't matter why he messed up, it was still wrong!"
"No, I don't like it," she says. "But I understand why, when he'd seen his friend's son nearly murdered, when he'd seen his friend's wife beaten to a pulp, when she pointed that that yes, Jaffur plainly had a fixation on you, Kakara, Berra was in no mood to wait any longer. I can and will hold him responsible for his recklessness, but I still understand why he did what he did." Her voice darkens. "Besides, it's not him that I'm truly angry with."
You nod, subsiding a bit. "Lady Vegeta."
"Yes. I can understand Dandeer's desperation, but she if a member of the Faith. She had no excuse for what she did. She is a heretic. And if I have the slightest bit of say on the matter, she is going to burn for what she did."
You shift uncomfortably at the violent tone in Grandma's voice. No matter how she's let her strength go in recent years, she was once counted as the equal to Yammar Vegeta, and there's something profoundly terrifying for you, to see your sweet and caring Grandma ready to tear somebody apart.
She seems to realize this, and calms down. "I'm sorry. You don't need to hear about religious arguments. I'm not trying to scare you."
You nod, easing back into her grip. "What do we do now?" you ask. "How do we make this right?"
She sighs. "First, I go out and talk to some old acquaintances of mine. Berra is too invested in this result to willingly reverse it without it being made clear how unacceptable it is. We need to present a united front for that to work."
"What about the Senzus?" you ask.
She hums. "Maybe. It sits ill with me that they've managed such an effective rebellion. It's for the right cause, yes, but it sets a bad precedent."
"They were helping!" you say.
"They were trying to, yes," she replies. "But still, they've sat in open defiance of the sitting Lady of Clan Vegeta for over a year now. People can't be allowed to think that's acceptable, or everything comes crashing down." She shakes her head. "Thoughts for later. If you truly want to go find them, go ahead. It's not as though they could feasibly hurt you." She pulls away slightly. "But that's not what I want you to do, Kakara."
You look at her, curious.
"I need you to try and resolve things with your father, Kakara," she says, looking you in the eye. "I know you're angry with him, but staying like you are is only hurting both of you."
You look down. "How am I going to fix it?" you ask, somewhat resentfully.
"You two aren't going to get past your disagreement," she says. "That much is clear. But you need to be able to talk to each other. You are family. And family-"
"-is always there for you, even when nobody else is," you say, echoing Jiichan.
Grandma doesn't know that, of course, and simply gives you a hug. "That's right. Kakara, I don't think your father is trying to hurt you. He's as hurt and confused as you are, and he's handling it poorly, but he's not being mean. That bit with training Mato but not you...I won't make excuses for him. He messed up badly, and I don't doubt he's kicking himself over it. It was stupid. And it hurt you a lot."
You swallow and duck your head.
"But even though that's his fault, you both need to work to make it better. Kakara, all you're showing him is how angry you are. You haven't been doing your part to make this better, either. You shouldn't have to, you're only eight years old, but when both of you are this hurt, somebody needs to be the one to bend first. Reach out to him, Kakara. You don't have to agree with him in order to be his daughter."
"But this is so big!" you say.
"So was the Doom of Talt," says Grandma. "And holding onto that worked out so very well." You shrink back, eyes wide at the sudden vehemence in her tone. She shakes her head, weary. "Our people have seen enough grudges, Kakara. Understand that your father had reasons for what he did, and then forgive him for his mistake. We can still fix it, and you can have your Dad back. You just have to be willing to not let what happened color every word you speak to him. Without giving up, or deciding that you won't fix it, it is possible to just let it go. So...do that. Let it go, please. Don't give it the power to poison everything between you two."
Ally Gained: Apra Goku [Strong]
You get: Knowledge and Context of the issues working in the background of this whole mess. Grandma will work with you to stop it, although you don't have a unified plan of action yet and she's certain to pursue goals according to her religious agenda. Given that she's literally talking about burning the heretic, that might be an issue if you hope for restraint.
You've heard mention of the Ancestor Cult more than once, and while your parents haven't taught you about it, the contexts in which you've encountered mention of it have (conveniently) left you with a general idea of what the point of it is. What's your initial take on it?
[ ] Accepting. You have stood in the presence of Son Gohan in the very heart of the Otherworld and experienced the full might of his divine presence. You could do no less than feel at least a smidgen of worship.
[ ] Curious. You're not sure what you think yet, but you'd like to learn more.
[ ] Disinterested. You're not really into religion, overall. It doesn't really matter to you when the real world's right there. As Jiichan said, deal with what's in front of you first. Hokey religions can come later.
[ ] Skeptical. Worship...Jiichan? He's...he's Jiichan. That's just weird. Gods don't give hugs on-demand.
THIS VOTE IS NOW CLOSED.
* * *
This kicked my ass hard. Putting it out just to have it done and off my screen while I write the rest; otherwise it'll be this huge block up on the top of the text box taking up my attention. That said, I'm fairly satisfied. The next update is on its way later today.
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