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DoofQuest- a Disney Villains Victorious CK2-Style Quest
- Thread starter Made in Heaven
- Start date
- Crossover
- Location
- Florida
- Pronouns
- He/Him
[X] Plan: We Don't Want No Trouble V2
- Location
- The Hub
[X] Plan: We Don't Want No Trouble V2.
[X] Plan: We Don't Want No Trouble V2.
- Location
- United Kingdom
[X] Plan: We Don't Want No Trouble V2.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
[X] Plan Be Polite, Be Efficient, Be Professional
mangawriter77
Otaku^9000 (In my own opinion)
- Location
- You'll neeever guess
- Pronouns
- He/Him/His
[X] Plan: We Don't Want No Trouble V2.
Stratagemini
Totally a Fire Ferret.
- Location
- Central Park
- Pronouns
- He/Him/They/Them
[X] Plan: We Don't Want No Trouble V2.
[X] Plan: We Don't Want No Trouble V2.
KnownParadox
Not a sphere
- Location
- Canada
I don't know about you guys, but I don't think we want any trouble.
Might just be me though.
Might just be me though.
Are we also carrying a baby and balancing on a ladder? If so, I bet we can take Balthazar easy.
Omegahugger
Inattentive Idiot
Let's be clear, we are absolutely playing as one of the villains Jackie would beat in search of the Talismans.
Or at least we would be if Russ still had access to it.
I mean, Kitsune has both of them right now, does she count?
- Location
- Pennsylvania
Looks like there's a pretty clear winner, so the vote's closed!
- Location
- United Kigdom
just caught up with the last three chapters and some of the rolls weren't great but Kitsune definitely seems to save us a lot... gonna add that to the TV Tropes page
That reminds me:
Is this offer still valid or did the hiatus expire that? Totally understandable if so.
KnownParadox
Not a sphere
- Location
- Canada
Apparently we've got until the entirety of this turn is over if I recall correctly. So:
1. The rest of this Quest.
2. Interludes from our actions.
3. West Coast corporation dossier.
4. Rival Reports.
5. Potential Interludes from our rivals actions.
6. Any other potential stuff like secret Interludes or Side Stories.
So we've got a bit I think, but we should really get on that page. I'd love a fully funded turn.
Idea for the Grid Quest
In general what i'd like is
Leader: Alan
Shoe Ins: Norm and Wendy
The Steward who Second Guesses Things: Wasabi or Moseby
The Wild Card: Russ, Mez, Janna, or Kitsune.
Mechanically, it's pretty good all things considered (Norm is hard carrying the Martial though if we dont do Wasabi), and Narratively it could be a fun reflection of DEI's company culture; with Wendy and the Wild Card being people who thrive, Alan and the Steward being hesitant (Or, in Moseby's case, resigned) bout it, and Norm being Norm!
In general what i'd like is
Leader: Alan
Shoe Ins: Norm and Wendy
The Steward who Second Guesses Things: Wasabi or Moseby
The Wild Card: Russ, Mez, Janna, or Kitsune.
Mechanically, it's pretty good all things considered (Norm is hard carrying the Martial though if we dont do Wasabi), and Narratively it could be a fun reflection of DEI's company culture; with Wendy and the Wild Card being people who thrive, Alan and the Steward being hesitant (Or, in Moseby's case, resigned) bout it, and Norm being Norm!
I do want to recruit Fredzilla in the near future (him and whoever we get from finally taking the occult recruitment action feel like the last hero units we can get with minimal effort) and he COULD fill that wildcard slot maybe...Hm.
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Quest: Magic Missile's Red Glare- Yankee Doodle
- Location
- Pennsylvania
[X] Plan: We Don't Want No Trouble V2.
-[x] See if Russ and Kitsune can identify a Balthazar Blake.
-[x] Introduce Ourselves and our Employers
--[x] Major Monogram, of the New Organization Without a Cool Acronym
---[x] Have him also explain this is a joint operation between Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorperated and the Federal Government
--[x] The Muppet's Theater Troupe
---[x] Gonzo, Investigative Journalist of DEI
---[x] Kermit, Gonzo's Direct Superior at DEI
---[x] Rizzo, Gonzo's Direct Inferior at DEI
--[x] Kitsune, DEI's Occult Diplomat, and Member of the Third Race
---[x] Reveal she is called "Hero of the Bazaar" do to her actions on Christmas Eve a few years back
--[x] Agent Russ, of The Department of Paranormal Investigations
-[x] Have The Muppets ask Blake about the Rats and the weird, staff wielding man with a child running around
-[x] Reveal the primary goal is the reclamation and protection of the Declaration of Independence, and Monogram tracked him down to here
-[x] State that, do to the fact he clearly doesn't want to hurt anyone, that we are fully willing to hear him out on why he'd steal the DoI.
-[x] See if Russ and Kitsune can identify a Balthazar Blake.
-[x] Introduce Ourselves and our Employers
--[x] Major Monogram, of the New Organization Without a Cool Acronym
---[x] Have him also explain this is a joint operation between Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorperated and the Federal Government
--[x] The Muppet's Theater Troupe
---[x] Gonzo, Investigative Journalist of DEI
---[x] Kermit, Gonzo's Direct Superior at DEI
---[x] Rizzo, Gonzo's Direct Inferior at DEI
--[x] Kitsune, DEI's Occult Diplomat, and Member of the Third Race
---[x] Reveal she is called "Hero of the Bazaar" do to her actions on Christmas Eve a few years back
--[x] Agent Russ, of The Department of Paranormal Investigations
-[x] Have The Muppets ask Blake about the Rats and the weird, staff wielding man with a child running around
-[x] Reveal the primary goal is the reclamation and protection of the Declaration of Independence, and Monogram tracked him down to here
-[x] State that, do to the fact he clearly doesn't want to hurt anyone, that we are fully willing to hear him out on why he'd steal the DoI.
DC 90/120 Occult Check: Line of Merlin
24% CoS CS 2% CF 8%
45+19+25=89
Bare Failure
You're familiar with most of the wizards internally wanted by the Bureau and the Magical Community's official Top Ten Threats as of yesterday, but whoever Balthazar Blake is, he's not on either of them. You turn to Kitsune, who subtly shakes her head.
"Well!" a voice from your wrist intones, and in either deference or madness you raise it up so he can get a better look. "I am Major Francis Monogram-"
Monogram pauses, you assume to see if there's any response to his name, and then continues. "I work with the government, and I'm here on behalf of Doctor Do-" He frowns for a moment, as if in thought. "Doctor Doofenshmirtz but mostly the government."
You'll choose to accept that.
Balthazar continues to look at you, nonplussed expression not changing. "What are they?" He asks, inclining his head towards the Muppets.
"We're part of the Muppet Theater Group!" Gonzo says proudly.
"Ah, ehm… defunct." Kermit notes, sadly. You feel for him.
"Hey!" Rizzo snaps. "I have all the funk I need."
"Rizzo, that's not what-"
"Why are you here?" Balthazar interrupts, before that can go any farther. You mostly can't blame him.
"Investigative journalism!" Gonzo declares with a confident nod. Before that can sit for more than a moment, Rizzo chimes in.
"Comic relief, mostly."
Balthazar stares harder.
"We came to…" Kitsune taps her chin, glancing at Gonzo, "Investigate a disturbance within the wider community."
"Do ya happen to have any Declarations lying around here?" Rizzo asks.
In better circumstances, you would have been able to stop that. Balthazar doesn't respond for a moment, and Kitsune does what you… think is damage control.
"Surely a magician of your tradition would be willing to entertain a few questions." Kitsune smiles pleasantly through lidded eyes.
"Yeah, especially for a hero!" Gonzo declares.
Rizzo blinks. "What? Her? A hero of what?"
"Gonzo shrugs. "I dunno, she just sort of struck me as a protagonist. You done anything impressive, fox lady?"
"I suppose I've done a bit of community service lately."
"You're the reason Demona didn't wipe out half of New York." You cut in, unwilling to let a self-effacement of that caliber lie.
"I played a part." Kitsune responds coyly, vermillion tails slithering across her form.
"I may have heard a few things." Balthazar says, noncommittal. A hint of sarcasm seeps into his voice. "So. If you're here out of the goodness of your heart, and he's from the government," Balthazar says, jerking a thumb toward your watch, "Then I assume you're here because you want the paper back."
"Yes please." Gonzo says. Kermit frowns but can't disagree.
"Are you confessing?" Monogram asks, still from your wrist. It's beginning to get awkward.
Balthazar shrugs. "Could have heard about it on the news."
Apparently magic isn't the only thing he's decent at.
Kitsune's smile grows, and you take it as a cue to say something before whatever happens next.
"Apologies for barging in, you might want to install a doorbell." You say, if only to inject enough sarcasm into the scene to keep the Muppets quiescent.
Balthazar stares at you, not blinking as often as he should. "I'm not fond of solicitors."
That hangs for a moment. "Didn't catch your name." He continues, as calmly as everyone else.
"Oh that's Agent Russ." Gonzo replies, as if it's the most natural thing in the world. Maybe it is.
"Two spooks out of six." He replies, a hint of… amusement? Disbelief? In his voice.
"Actually I'd say the three of us count as one." Gonzo mutters.
"Why did you take it?" You ask, more than certain at this point that this is your man.
"Aren't I entitled to a lawyer?" Balthazar asks, sardonicism now clearly evident.
You're about to continue. You're about to slip into the pattern of double meanings and careful words, the sort of banter that would slide you, unavoidably, towards either a release in tensions or a shootout. You'd done it more times than you can count.
Always in a better state than this.
In a pause you didn't even know you were making, before you have a chance to adjust, one of the few beings you could never bring yourself to interrupt slips in.
"Mr Blake." Kermit says, honest and earnest. "I don't mean to accuse you of anything. But well… if you did take it… I have a feeling there's more going on here we need to know about."
Balthazar raises a scraggly eyebrow. "Like what?"
Kermit scrunches in preparation. "Well, for one thing, you're not the only, uh, suspicious character around here."
"No offense." Rizzo notes.
"The man with a child, the talking rats-"
"You messed with the rats?" Balthazar asks, the first hint of shock you've seen on his face so far.
"They were a problem." You say, bluntly.
"If you did steal the country's most cherished founding document," Kermit says with incredibly admirable naivete, "something deep inside me says it was for a good reason."
"As someone on the other end of the hungry mirror trap-"
"Hungarian." Blake notes.
Kitsune makes a nearly inaudible 'ah' noise beneath her tails.
Monogram blinks. "Oh, really? Fancy." He then realizes he's meant to be professional. "Ah-anyway. As I was saying. As someone on the other end of your mirror, I don't feel particularly menaced. Chilly, maybe. But I blame the basement. We're below ground and we did just dent the furnace."
Marvin the Possum makes a possum noise.
Monogram winces.
"...anyway you didn't kill me, so thanks, and we'll hear you out. Before that though, I uh… I don't suppose you could see your way to letting me out of here."
"Or healing my third degree burns!" Gonzo adds hopefully.
Balthazar sighs. "I was going to fix the wards you damaged…"
===
What should Balthazar do now that the conflict seems to be over? Choose only one.
[ ] Heal the Party
A few less burns and bruises would be nice.
[ ] Get Monogram Out
He's not complaining but you can tell he's annoyed. Having him back in the physical world would help. Balthazar might be able to get the mirror set up again, but it wouldn't be a certain thing.
[ ] Restore the Protections
Given most of them are either spent or out of position. This would leave you dangerously under-strength but might make Balthazar slightly less grumpy? At the very least Marvin would be ready to go again.
===
While Balthazar does as he said he would, you return to the matter at hand, hoping to press whatever advantage the Muppets have given you.
"I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. But whatever you know, we need to know it."
Diplomacy Check: Anything to Declare?
DC 65/95/125
Variable CoS, 98+ 1-
38+16+35+5(Appeal to Authority)=94
Partial success
"...The Morganians want the Declaration, and I don't intend to let them have it." Balthazar says, carefully avoiding any actual admission of guilt.
"Why?" Monogram asks.
"None of your business." Balthazar replies, with a particularly sharp tug of magic. After a moment he nods and the spell completes. Without another word he stands up and begins moving for the door, forcing you to follow him.
Occult Check: Sordid History
DC 110
40% CoS, 97+ 6-
89+19+25+5(Can Recite Constitution Backwards In Your Sleep)=138
Success
Until Kitsune opens her mouth.
"A ritual."
The fox-woman has been enjoying the opportunity to take what you imagine is her 'natural' form, a shifting plethora of tails rippling in her wake as she leans just a little too close for comfort to the wizard's face. "A page steeped in the history of a nation, enough to anchor a continental undertaking, given a suitably auspicious place and time."
Balthazar stops up short, a clear sign that Kitsune is dead on.
"It's Memorial Day tomorrow." You note, to drive the wedge in further.
Balthazar, still with his back to you, puts his hand on the entryway and sighs. "If I gave you that piece of paper it would be cinders before the week is out."
He may have said something else after that, but you could not quite hear it over the sound of blood pumping in your ears at the thought of the nation's founding document being used as a spell component.
The Muppets read the room and shuffle a few handspans away.
"We're not going to let that happen." You say, coldly. Your eyes are always invisible, behind mirrored glasses, but it's times like these people notice.
"It took you a year to track me down." Balthazar says, starting to walk again. He passes through the arch and back into his now-spent gauntlet.
This isn't the first time you've been struck by this icy cold fire. It is the first time you've unleashed it on someone who didn't deserve it.
Your brow creases. "I hope it won't surprise you to learn your government prioritizes saving lives over a piece of paper, no matter how important it might be."
Balthazar stalks through the house, now a much shorter walk than when you came in. It's a matter of seconds for you to pass through his entire gauntlet and back up the basement steps. As he goes, his voice is slower to rise than yours.
"Lives are at risk from this piece of paper." He snaps.
It gets there, though.
"A fact we were not aware of, because you chose to steal off with it like a thief in the night!"
Balthazar reaches towards the door, intent on demanding your exit.
"You have made your tempestuousness clear." Kitsune steps between you, and you realize you hadn't seen her slink out of sight.
You raise a hand, half in surprise and half in fury, and it visibly trembles as you fight to choke down your frustration. It takes several seconds before you trust yourself to speak.
"I-"
"I know." Kitsune cuts you off softly, in that inscrutably neutral tone you've become too familiar with.
She turns to Balthazar, tails fanning between you. "The fact remains we are not the only ones here for you."
The front door creaks open, and a moment later you realize Balthazar has not opened it.
A woman with enormous silver hair and a shaggy red dress half strides, half slinks into the room, whistling a tuneless melody to herself. A moment later she opens her eyes and takes in the group in front of her.
"Uuhhhh…" She says, evidently as confused as you are. "Did… somebody move in?"
The Muppets shake their heads.
She blinks. "Are you… hobos?"
"Something like that." Balthazar Blake mutters.
The woman grins the tremendous grin of someone going all in with a pair of threes. "Okaay. Uh… Me too! I can see you've…called dibs. I'll…come back later." She smiles again, somehow reverse-slinking back through the door. In place of the actual outside world, you see what appears to be a darkened storeroom of some kind.
"Don't tell anyone I was here." The woman demands as she slams the door behind her, giving you just enough time to notice pointed ears poking out from her shaggy mane.
A moment later the door opens again.
"Especially if they're cops!"
Another slam.
"How nice." Kitsune muses.
"I'll figure out what that was later." Balthazar insists, voice still a few levels further up the gruff meter than his default. "You need to leave, now. The Morganians could be watching."
"Worried about an old friend?" Kitsune leans against the door, opening it experimentally to confirm it once again opens onto empty woods.
"Hey uh." Monogram notes. "Not to cut in, but did we get to mentioning the suspicious guy with the cane and his kid?"
"Cane?" Balthazar replies, note of concern in his voice. What kind of-"
"FIRE BROADSIDES, ME HEARTIES!" a voice in the treeline bellows. Half a second later the entire wall explodes in a cascade of debris. Shrapnel splinters of wood rip apart the room's remaining furniture, bouncing off a coruscating barrier and impaling themselves into the floor. Balthazar steps forward, hand outstretched and eyes narrowed.
Before Balthazar can move he's cut off by thick, sulfurous smoke that burns your lungs and stings your eyes. The haze is cut apart with the stroke of a cutlass as a cold blue translucent specter soars into the room. His eyes and beard burn beneath his tricorne, as the ghostly pirate bellows out a second war cry. Barely a heartbeat later, another man appears in the room without breaking stride, as if he'd taken a single, massive step.
The man, wearing an honest-be-damned British Redcoat, looks down at the compass in his hand, tilting it slightly. The staircase around him twists, fractal cracks squeezing out the edges. Wood splinters and creaks as portions of it spiral off into nothingness, the entire structure shaking. Beside you, Balthazar tenses, and you sigh.
Sure.
"And nobody has made such an entrance, I do avow, in those selfsame centuries!" The specter declares, brandishing his ghostly cutlass and worsening your migraine.
"Keep them occupied, please." The Redcoat says, turning away from the specter and earning himself a large 'enemy mage' mark in your mental calculus.
"Unless you're willing to surrender to the Majesty of Ki- Queen…Elizabeth?" the ahistorical Brit asks you, turning as if expecting an answer.
Balthazar responds by cupping his hands and snapping out a burst of raw plasma.The bolt shoots through the air in front of the redcoat until the space in front of him seems to curl into fractals. The projectile bends like light in water, veering just past his cheek, through the ruined wall and out into the gloom.
The spirit's voice is an effulgent, oscillating patter, the hollering of a hurricane no longer bound by petty limits of a diaphragm. "Blow me down, but it is good for me voice to echo in mortal ears once again! Consider yourselves lucky! You shall be the first in a quarter of a millennium to know the spine-chilling terror of Blackbeard's Ghost!"
"He will not shut up about it." The Redcoat rolls his eyes. "He's been haunting a hotel for the past three hundred years. Ineffectually, I might add."
Balthazar's next response is far more forceful, electricity arcing off of his hands as he unleashes a cascade of plasma bolts across the ruins of the room. Even as you dive to avoid the incoming ghost, you can see the Redcoat flinch as the projectiles impact something translucent midair before winking into nonexistence. Another barrier ripples into view.
The staircase explodes and expands in a single motion, fragments of wood and individual boards curling unnaturally in the distorted space, the basement passageway opening up like a cavernous maw. You can see the balance of power shifting with the newcomer arriving on the scene; what had previously been a struggle falls definitively in favor of the interlopers. Maxim Horvath, Master of the Morganian Order, a heavyset man with a neatly trimmed goatee, fur coat, bowler hat, twenty mages' worth of magic and possibly the last person you wanted to see right now, floats down into view joined by a pale girl wearing a severe bonnet and murderous expression.
"Master Horvath, so nice of you to follow my lead." The redcoat mutters, upper lip firmly stiffened.
"Rizzo, will you help me write this down?" Gonzo mutters. "This is a lot of new characters to keep track of."
With an audible sound like tearing fabric, Balthazar is forced to choose between his hideaway's defenses and his own. He chooses the latter. The girl leers as Blake's scintillating spellwork falls apart around you, and the two should-be reenactors look, if anything, slightly put out. Horvath smiles.
"Hello Balthazar. Been keeping well? I know it's impolite to come without calling, but we were in town on business. My associate here noticed your new friends, and we thought we'd drop by."
"This is the part where we run?" You deadpan. A moment passes as Balthazar contemplates the question.
"This is the part where we run." He replies.
===
Vote repeated for convenience.
What did Balthazar do? Choose only one.
[ ] Heal the Party
A few less burns and bruises would be nice.
[ ] Get Monogram Out
He's not complaining but you can tell he's annoyed. Having him back in the physical world would help. Balthazar might be able to get the mirror set up again, but it wouldn't be a certain thing.
[ ] Restore the Protections
Given most of them are either spent or out of position. This would leave you dangerously under-strength but might make Balthazar slightly less grumpy? At the very least Marvin would be ready to go again.
===
There is a forty-eight hour moratorium on voting.
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Two checks we missed by 1, are we sure Russ isn't actually cursed?
More seriously, considering the train wreck of rolls that has led us to this point I think this is a not horrible outcome.
I hate to do it to Monogram but getting him out of the mirror probably has the least benefits at this point. Healing would get Russ back to strength but he's narratively out of it and ooc rolling like crap, meanwhile restoring the protections would leave us ridiing on Balthazar, Kitsune, and Marvin, but it does get us goodwill which might be important in the aftermath.