Walking on the Other Side

He didn't remember how he got here, he didn't remember where he was going. He didn't even remember who he was.

He threw his sunglasses to the ground. It was too dark here to see anything with them on, and from the looks of things, it wasn't going to get much brighter. Even after discarding them, it was hard to make out anything useful. Fog and shadows obscured nearly everything, and something about the world he was looking at just didn't seem natural. Some faint instinct twigged inside of him, telling him not to let his guard down, even for a moment.

He didn't remember much, but he was certain that dropping his guard was what landed him here in the first place.

A shadowy figure rose from the smoke, every feature conceal by darkness, it was tall, thin, almost skeletal in its appearance. The figure loomed over him, before its lips peeled back to a set of too white teeth. The wanderer took a step back, his hand reaching for something that wasn't there

"You look lost little man, maybe I can lend you some assistance." The shadow spoke, slinking closer to the wanderer.

"I can manage." the wanderer replied.

"Lot of people say that, and it rarely proves true. This isn't your grandma's bingo hall, and there are plenty of malevolent things lurking in the shadows. Unless you know how to deal with them, you won't last long."

"And what about you?"

The grin grew, "I'm dangerous too, but it's been a long time since someone interesting showed up, and I'm willing to put my nature aside for a bit. Got to find someway to amuse yourself, am I right?"

The wanderer grimaced, and held his tongue. The silence stretched on for minutes, until the shadow leaned in close.

"What's your name son?"

"Even if I remembered, I wouldn't tell you."

"You know a bit about how things work. That's a point in your favor. I knew you'd make things a bit more interesting, now how about you come with me? Let me introduce you to some folks who might help you out, if you can catch their interest like you did mine. Might not be the safest way to find your way, but that don't matter none, cause its the only way to do it."

"You really think I'll strike a deal with you?"

"Don't seem to be an abundance of options around. If you've got another offer, I'd suggest you take it. Otherwise..." the figure trailed off, hand held out. Somewhere in the distance, something let out a bone shaking shriek.

He was right. There really wasn't any other option. Something deep inside him said that this was beyond his ability to handle.

"Alright then, show me." the wanderer said as he grasped the immaterial hand. A chill ran up his arm,

Its grin grew wider as his shadowy arm wrapped around the wanderer, leading him deeper into the strange realm.

"Glad to see you seeing sense, now come this way, and I'll introduce you to my friends here on the other side."
 
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Tobe & Dakota & Cavendish's Excellent Adventure, Part 4- OR AT LEAST IN A GIFT SHAPED CAST
Drawing on rigorous ninja training and definitely not a lifetime of running from noodle chefs after stealing a bowl, Tobe and his crew melted into the shadows. It was easy to forget, in between the bluster and the bravado and the blatant stupidity. But the Vagabonds knew what they were doing. Sometimes.

In comparison, Cavendish and Dakota stood frozen stiff in front of the tied-up actor.

"Hello Pain." Orton said with only slightly ragged politeness. "I don't suppose you could give me a hand here?"

"Ah, erm. Hello there." Cavendish grinned fixedly while Dakota slowly untied the man. The figure began slowly walking towards him.

"Don't worry, we were just leaving, ahah. All fine no harm done, aheh…"

A mantelpiece clock, apropos of nothing, went flying across the room and thumped Cavendish on the back of the head.

"AH- what the!?"

In a single fluid movement, the figure grabbed hold of Dakota and produced a very interesting noise from his arm.

"Ohhh yep." The tracksuit man blinked. "That's a fracture."

"Oh deaaAAAAAAAAAAA!" Cavendish cut off as a series of martial techniques he had absolutely no reference for rapidly left him twitching on the ground. It was over in seconds.

"Should we help them?" Jumong whispered.

"We should not wish to ruin their noble sacrifice in the cause of time." Tobe replied with his head held high. "Also, that's Royal Pain. She scares me."

The other ninja gave a brief chorus of agreement and slipped further out of Pain's field of vision.

"Orton." Royal Pain asked, one foot on the two time-travellers to make sure they weren't going anywhere. "Do you have any idea who these two incompetents are?"

"They claimed they were time travellers." Orton replied. "Judging by their outfits, I imagine they must be fans who became a little too obsessed. They seem to be inspired by Dr. Zone and Time Ape. Strange though. For some reason, I almost find them… familiar. Please don't hurt them. Further."

"Fine." The suited supervillain replied. "I'll call the police or something. Let's just get this over with, I hate this city."

"You'd be surprised how inspiring it can be." Orton replied, closing his eyes and relaxing as a brief burst from the villain's odd ray gun flashed over his body. As Tobe watched, wrinkles smoothed out, posture straightened, and the man seemed to melt years in the span of a moment.

"There." Royal Pain said, turning to go but pausing at the last second. "Just… one last thing."

"Yes?" Orton Mahlson asked.

"Could you…" A crack in a dam burst into a flood. "Pleasetellmewhatthenextseasonisabout?!?" Pain gushed. "Preproduction is taking soo loooong."

"My dear. You should know by now that Dr. Time never answers questions." Orton said dramatically in what Tobe assumed was some sort of quote. "But I will say that the next season promises to be… enthralling."

Pain gasped. "Not the Time Sirens!"

"I'll say no more." Orton grinned as the supervillain turned and left, practically squealing.

"Hey Cavendish." Dakota groaned from the floor of the house.

"What is it?" Cavendish gasped.

"If Orton Mahlson isn't a Pistachion, that means Dr. Zone is…"

"...Actually a real timespace anomaly. A genuine paradox." Cavendish realized slowly. "Egad, we…"

"We actually did our jobs for once." Dakota finished.

"Yaaaaaaaay." They both moaned.

---

You have learned that Orton Mahlson is the beneficiary of a Eyouthanizer Beam maintaining his continual youth!

You have learned that Royal Pain is a massive nerd!

You have learned the general details of what occurred in these interludes, with the only notable exception being a clear description of Cavendish and Dakota and their future-history! (Tobe demurred on 'people-explodey grounds'.)

Thanks to your assistance, Cavendish and Dakota actually completed a mission for once!

Thanks to your assistance, Cavendish and Dakota suffered several serious injuries!

---



---

Tobe and the other three Vagabonds slipped out of the house and into the bushes they had been hiding in.

"That was very weird, right?" Tobe asked.

"Oh my god yes." Jing-Jing agreed immediately.

"So weird." the others chorused.

"Tobe sighed. "I'm actually gonna have to write a report for this!" Tobe groaned.

"It is the burden of leadership." Binggure and Jumong said respectfully.

"At least all this insanity is over." Tobe said, before tripping over something large and black.

Tobe looked down. "Why are our interchangeable ninja mooks lying defeated on the ground?"

A moment later the four ninja's vision was overtaken by a swarm of orange tracksuits.

Tobe found himself pinned to the ground by Dakota.

Binggure was pinned to the ground by another Dakota.

And so on.

"Time's broken. We need a new way to protect Cavendish." The first Dakota said with an overwhelmingly intense stare.

Another nodded as a veritable swarm of Dakotas closed in, looking pathetic and hopeless in equal measure. Tobe was near certain he could snap the Dakota's grip in an instant, but their next line gave him pause.

"Teach us how to be ninjas."

[ ] Okay

[ ] No

---



Mr. Block fumed quietly as he finished paying the two idiots' bail. He literally could not take his eyes off them for a moment. At least those two nutjobs had actually managed to find a time anomaly. Even with the best projections this mess would take years to clean, assuming reality didn't just tear itself apart while he was still trying to figure out what was twisting it.

He glanced over at his second monitor. This was too much stress, he needed something to unwind. Well, if it was that popular, might as well see what the fuss was about…

Mr Block pressed play.

"Cha-La Head-Cha-La! ♪"

---

There will be a six hour moratorium on voting.
 
Time travelling disco ninjas.
That's something I did not expect to be said at all in any sentence.
Probably going to say yes to that.
 
Ok, for those that don't know, cuz apparently a lot of people haven't see Milo Murphy, Cavendish tends to...die a lot, so Dakota, as the good friend he is, save him each time and then voluntarily goes to an island in the middle of nowhere that is full of other Dakotas to not mess up with time or freak out Cavendish.
 
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You have learned that Royal Pain is a massive nerd!
Listen. I'm not trying to sound like one of those people, but her type of people... They're all massive nerds! I haven't heard of one single technomancer who's not a gigantic nerd. They're the kind of people who write in Hex-Code just for fun and know every shortcut for Excel off the top of their heads.

I know, I know. It's not PC to generalize an entire people like that but if you look at all of the scientific evidence there's not one technomancer who isn't a nerd!
 
[ ] Okay

There Is literally nothing in this world I want to see more right now than a Team of Paradoxical Dakota Ninjas trained by Tobe.

If they're added to Tobe's Hero ball that would be fucking incredible. if they're added to Cavendish and Dakota's Heroball then once we Recruit them it'll be AMAZING. also, It could, you know, help keep time from collapsing on us or something.

Also, if we don't train them, then it's kinda likely Cavendish will die soon.
 
WAIT!

Before we say yes, we need to think of the most important follow-up!

What are our rates? By the hour, salary bundle for the job, favor for a favor? Trading some sweet loot? Unpaid internship for the duration?
 
Google is telling me this is the DragonBall z theme.

Is this somehow important?
Its more than that. This is the opening theme of dragonball z abridged. In the non abridged one, it does not start with the chala hechala. Although, I'm not aware of an episode that starts with the theme song, so either way he is starting the episode some amount forward.
The only significance is that if we ever see (or have seen) a dbz abridged joke, it is likely that this guy is involved somehow.
 
I feel like training a massive number of time-clones to be ninjas is precisely our brand of chaos. Seriously, it'll be hilarious and only have like, a 30% chance of backfiring horribly.

Besides, it's not like they're going to give up if we don't. They'll go work with one of our enemies or something. Or Cavendish will die and they'll blame us for not training them.
 
So not to sound gross or anything but a quick google told me that Disney owns the rights for a live action Dragonball movie. FOX had the rights originally and Disney got them when they bought FOX.

what are you talking about there is no live action dragon ball movie. It doesn't exist. In fact the very idea of it possibly existing is a horrific abomination that needs to be purged from the time line.
 
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