Eh, Tang is still better.Hey guys, guess what!
Instrumentalitea!
And yes, this has inspired an omake - currently writing. Sorry Ranma, HPATMOTP will have to wait...
Advice and Trust [NGE]
The Englanderish
Schrödinger's Kuudere Kitty Caliph(a)
- Location
- Califat de Chats
(Whispers) It is tang.
That makes me wonder. If Kaworu were to bring about Instrumentality right now and Rei was somehow affected, would she see him as Shinji and Asuka, or just one of them?
Last edited:
samdamandias
Apprentice Plane Wizard
Ooh, is that a rooibos tea? Those are really tasty.
akrasiel23
A wraith no more
- Location
- Peru
Probably both, maybe even see Kaworu with them.
Comedy Omake #36 - Rei Off Her Meds
The Englanderish
Schrödinger's Kuudere Kitty Caliph(a)
- Location
- Califat de Chats
Comedy Omake #36 - Rei Is Off Her Meds!
Gendo Ikari surveyed the report, clasping his hands over his mouth as he always did.
"Rei... is making prank calls?"
"Yes commander," replied Fuyutsuki, "She also has been reported as making salacious remarks about various personnel."
Gendo's eyebrow emerged from behind his glasses at that.
"Salacious remarks?"
Fuyutsuki's only reply was to cough in an inordinately uncomfortable way.
"Kozo. What has Rei said to you?"
Fuyutsuki sighed and pulled out a Dictaphone.
"This is a security recording from my office," was all he said before hitting play.
The unmistakeable voice of Rei Ayanami filled the room - although it was a heavy departure from the tone Gendo had come to expect from her.
"Say Fuyu.~"
"What did you just call me, Rei?"
"Fuyu. That's what I'm calling you now."
Gendo raised an eyebrow as the unmistakeable sound of giggling followed.
"Anyway," Rei's voice continued, "Random question. Does it bother you?"
"Does what bother me, Rei?"
"Well, surely it's occurred to you that Dad was slamming Mum for years; does that bother you?"
"REI! What the-"
"I mean think about it - that beard, those stupid glasses... does he even take the glasses off to do it? Do they come off? Was it just like 'Darling, take the glasses off!' and Dad would be like 'NEVER!'? Is there one of those cords to stop glasses falling off so they don't fall off in the motions?"
"Rei, have you been taking your medicine?"
"DING DING DING DING DING! WE HAVE A WINNER! Oh and before you try and put me back on them - too late! I got to Akagi!"
The silence that followed was long - the only sound the whirr of the Dictophone.
Eventually, Rei's voice returned.
"Aaaaaaanyway, do you ever get images of Mum and Dad doing it stuck in your head? You were basically head-over-heels for Mum after all... I mean it must really suck to know that not only were you bested by Gendo Fucking Ikari, but that he also gets to-"
"REI!"
"What?"
"Please. Go. Away."
"Awww, you're no fun!"
There was a click as the recording stopped.
"I see," was all Gendo said, stroking his beard. "She called me 'Dad'?"
"Yes. Aoba reports having his mother's sexual decency questioned, Ibuki has been subject to endless wardrobe and cupboard jokes, Hyuga was described as a 'submissive bitch', Akagi is laughed at on sight, Rei was heard calling the Magi 'one fucked up bitch', Katsuragi reports of incessant eyebrow wriggling whenever Kaji is mentioned, Kaji is being anonymously sent pregnancy tests from 'a very special friend' and I think you get the idea. There is exactly one person Rei interacts with who has not been subject to torment - aside from you - and that is Nagisa. She seems to be avoiding him."
Before he could say anything more, his office door was thrown open - his locked door no less - and Rei swaggered in. She appeared to be balancing a tray in one hand with a tea set on it.
This was rapidly going from weird to downright creepy. Choking-your-tsundere-love-interest creepy. Grafting-Adam-to-your-hand creepy. Plotting-to-end-the-world creepy.
Ikari-creepy in other words.
Rei slid the tea set onto Gendo's desk and hopped up to sit on it.
"Hi Dad!"
"What is all this, Rei?" Gendo asked, trying, yet failing, to make sense of things.
"Well it is Father's Day, so I made you some tea!"
"Rei, you do realise that I am no-"
"Adadadada!" exclaimed Rei, "No. None of that."
She placed a cup of tea in front of him. Sighing and resigned to whatever this madness was, Gendo looked down at it.
"Rei, this is heated LCL with a teabag in it."
Rei only rolled her eyes as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Well duuuuuuuuuuuh. It's instumentalitea."
Gendo blinked. A vivid memory of just such a joke made by someone else sprung to mind.
"You really are your mother's daughter..." he muttered, while trying to find some way of avoiding drinking LCL. Suddenly something clicked.
"Rei."
"Yar?"
"Does all this have anything to do with your avoidance of the Nagisa boy?"
Rei's mouth dropped open. She hurriedly closed it, reopened it, closed it again and finally stuttered, "W-whatever gave you t-that idea? I just don't like him one bit! N-not at all"
"Rei-"
"Idon'tlikehimIdon'tlikehimIdon'tlikehim!"
"Rei-"
"Lalalalalalalalala," she stuffed her fingers in her ears and plastered the most farcical smile one ever did see on her face. "Not listening to this bullshit!"
"Rei, I never said you did like him. You brought that up."
Coughing loudly, she hopped to her feet and looked to her watch-less wrist.
"OhisthatthetimeImustbegoingbye!"
Scurrying to the door, Rei only stopped to call back, "OhandShinji'sfuckingAsukabye!" before vanishing through the office door.
Fuyutski gaped in bewilderment.
"You... you got her to leave... how did you know to say that?"
"And that, Kozo," smirked Gendo as he shunted his glasses up his nose. "Is why I'm in charge. That is also why we medicated her in the first place."
"You aren't worried about what will happen if she and Nagisa-"
"I am her father. I already have a contingency for 'she and anyone'."
A knowing grin spread across Fuyutsuki's face.
"Ah. I see. Blunderbuss or chainsaw?"
Clasping his hands once more, Gendo smirked to himself.
"I've always been a blunderbuss man myself. Yui was more inclined to the chainsaw."
And then something occurred to him.
"Wait. What did Rei say on the way out?"
Gendo Ikari surveyed the report, clasping his hands over his mouth as he always did.
"Rei... is making prank calls?"
"Yes commander," replied Fuyutsuki, "She also has been reported as making salacious remarks about various personnel."
Gendo's eyebrow emerged from behind his glasses at that.
"Salacious remarks?"
Fuyutsuki's only reply was to cough in an inordinately uncomfortable way.
"Kozo. What has Rei said to you?"
Fuyutsuki sighed and pulled out a Dictaphone.
"This is a security recording from my office," was all he said before hitting play.
The unmistakeable voice of Rei Ayanami filled the room - although it was a heavy departure from the tone Gendo had come to expect from her.
"Say Fuyu.~"
"What did you just call me, Rei?"
"Fuyu. That's what I'm calling you now."
Gendo raised an eyebrow as the unmistakeable sound of giggling followed.
"Anyway," Rei's voice continued, "Random question. Does it bother you?"
"Does what bother me, Rei?"
"Well, surely it's occurred to you that Dad was slamming Mum for years; does that bother you?"
"REI! What the-"
"I mean think about it - that beard, those stupid glasses... does he even take the glasses off to do it? Do they come off? Was it just like 'Darling, take the glasses off!' and Dad would be like 'NEVER!'? Is there one of those cords to stop glasses falling off so they don't fall off in the motions?"
"Rei, have you been taking your medicine?"
"DING DING DING DING DING! WE HAVE A WINNER! Oh and before you try and put me back on them - too late! I got to Akagi!"
The silence that followed was long - the only sound the whirr of the Dictophone.
Eventually, Rei's voice returned.
"Aaaaaaanyway, do you ever get images of Mum and Dad doing it stuck in your head? You were basically head-over-heels for Mum after all... I mean it must really suck to know that not only were you bested by Gendo Fucking Ikari, but that he also gets to-"
"REI!"
"What?"
"Please. Go. Away."
"Awww, you're no fun!"
There was a click as the recording stopped.
"I see," was all Gendo said, stroking his beard. "She called me 'Dad'?"
"Yes. Aoba reports having his mother's sexual decency questioned, Ibuki has been subject to endless wardrobe and cupboard jokes, Hyuga was described as a 'submissive bitch', Akagi is laughed at on sight, Rei was heard calling the Magi 'one fucked up bitch', Katsuragi reports of incessant eyebrow wriggling whenever Kaji is mentioned, Kaji is being anonymously sent pregnancy tests from 'a very special friend' and I think you get the idea. There is exactly one person Rei interacts with who has not been subject to torment - aside from you - and that is Nagisa. She seems to be avoiding him."
Before he could say anything more, his office door was thrown open - his locked door no less - and Rei swaggered in. She appeared to be balancing a tray in one hand with a tea set on it.
This was rapidly going from weird to downright creepy. Choking-your-tsundere-love-interest creepy. Grafting-Adam-to-your-hand creepy. Plotting-to-end-the-world creepy.
Ikari-creepy in other words.
Rei slid the tea set onto Gendo's desk and hopped up to sit on it.
"Hi Dad!"
"What is all this, Rei?" Gendo asked, trying, yet failing, to make sense of things.
"Well it is Father's Day, so I made you some tea!"
"Rei, you do realise that I am no-"
"Adadadada!" exclaimed Rei, "No. None of that."
She placed a cup of tea in front of him. Sighing and resigned to whatever this madness was, Gendo looked down at it.
"Rei, this is heated LCL with a teabag in it."
Rei only rolled her eyes as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Well duuuuuuuuuuuh. It's instumentalitea."
Gendo blinked. A vivid memory of just such a joke made by someone else sprung to mind.
"You really are your mother's daughter..." he muttered, while trying to find some way of avoiding drinking LCL. Suddenly something clicked.
"Rei."
"Yar?"
"Does all this have anything to do with your avoidance of the Nagisa boy?"
Rei's mouth dropped open. She hurriedly closed it, reopened it, closed it again and finally stuttered, "W-whatever gave you t-that idea? I just don't like him one bit! N-not at all"
"Rei-"
"Idon'tlikehimIdon'tlikehimIdon'tlikehim!"
"Rei-"
"Lalalalalalalalala," she stuffed her fingers in her ears and plastered the most farcical smile one ever did see on her face. "Not listening to this bullshit!"
"Rei, I never said you did like him. You brought that up."
Coughing loudly, she hopped to her feet and looked to her watch-less wrist.
"OhisthatthetimeImustbegoingbye!"
Scurrying to the door, Rei only stopped to call back, "OhandShinji'sfuckingAsukabye!" before vanishing through the office door.
Fuyutski gaped in bewilderment.
"You... you got her to leave... how did you know to say that?"
"And that, Kozo," smirked Gendo as he shunted his glasses up his nose. "Is why I'm in charge. That is also why we medicated her in the first place."
"You aren't worried about what will happen if she and Nagisa-"
"I am her father. I already have a contingency for 'she and anyone'."
A knowing grin spread across Fuyutsuki's face.
"Ah. I see. Blunderbuss or chainsaw?"
Clasping his hands once more, Gendo smirked to himself.
"I've always been a blunderbuss man myself. Yui was more inclined to the chainsaw."
And then something occurred to him.
"Wait. What did Rei say on the way out?"
Last edited:
Always Late
Lacking in coffee, sleep, and brains
- Location
- Ohio
Oh this is shaping up to be Gooooooood.
Oh geez, Rei just turned things up to 11 and is not slowing down.
And we have a Winar!
And just like that, Shinji got jealous again.
rofl: No Misato jokes?Rei, you are your parents' daughter.
Gendo knows when to up the ante and when to roll with the punches.
... Yang, Blue hair dye is not going to disguise yourself.
AHAHAHAHAHA! On man, Tsundere Rei, I LOVE THIS!
Gendo, you clever son of a bitch.
"We can't have anyone crazier than me on-base. I have an unfortunate competitive streak in me."
"Unfortunate?"
"Remember Naoko?"
"I don't like where you're going with this."
"She said she was madly in love with me, madder than anyone else. I couldn't let that go unchallenged."
"You are going back on your medications."
"Whatever you say, Fuyu."
"If you didn't have those pictures I would quit."
"SEELE would shoot you before you got five steps out the front door."
"... I hate it when you're right."
"And her bare hands.""You aren't worried about what will happen is she and Nagisa-"
"I am her father. I already have a contingency for 'she and anyone'."
A knowing grin spread across Fuyutsuki's face.
"Ah. I see. Blunderbuss or chainsaw?"
Clasping his hands once more, Gendo smirked to himself.
"I've always been a blunderbuss man myself. Yui was more inclined to the chainsaw."
"Wait, wha-"
"Yes. Yui was positively addicted to Doom."
And so it begins.
Excellent work The Englanderish!
The Englanderish
Schrödinger's Kuudere Kitty Caliph(a)
- Location
- Califat de Chats
Also:
FTFY
Always Late
Lacking in coffee, sleep, and brains
- Location
- Ohio
1. I plead 2:00AM in the morning.
2. Yang plz. Plz no.
Ranma-sensei
Sorcerer
- Location
- Citrix Receiver
- Pronouns
- Weatherdependent
Thank you, The Englanderish!
Now, my co-workers don't think that I'm mentally unstable, anymore.
They know so!!
Now, my co-workers don't think that I'm mentally unstable, anymore.
They know so!!
Comedy Omake #37 - Backstage #1 - Griping
- Location
- National Capital Region, USA
Backstage #1 - Griping
Meanwhile, backstage:
Rei: "Man, I hate doing some of these comedy omakes. I always come off sounding like a total space-case. Or worse, like I'm obsessing over the new guy. I mean, he does have a great ass, but still..."
Asuka: "Hey, you liked doing the Heartwarming one. Or all the 'We Can't Post This Here!' ones for the 'Israfel Special AU!'."
Rei: "Oh yeah, I loved those. Especially the rehearsals." :-3
Shinji: "Am I going to have to take more vitamin E tonight?"
Asuka: "Like you're complaining?"
Shinji: "Do I look stupid?"
Asuka: "Not yet, but I can guarantee you're gonna have one of those 'ahegao's by tonight!"
Shinji: "I love this project..."
Or elsewhere:
Ritsuko: "We can't film this next part! Me and Maya chasing Rei with tranq guns while she terrifies Aoba in a closet? GreggHL's going to sue!"
Fuyutsuki: "At least you've got a part. The way things are going, I'm half worried I'm going to end up shipped with the Commander."
Hyuga: "....MY EYES! I CAN'T UNSEE IT!"
Gendo: "My character would say 'Fuck all y'all', but I'm just going to put out the sandwiches I made for everyone and pack another bowl. Anyone want a hit?" ~bong gurgles~
Aoba: ~takes the bong, does a hit~ "Dude, you are so much more chill than your character." ~coughs~
Gendo: "I know, I'm awesome. Who wants chips?"
Meanwhile, backstage:
Rei: "Man, I hate doing some of these comedy omakes. I always come off sounding like a total space-case. Or worse, like I'm obsessing over the new guy. I mean, he does have a great ass, but still..."
Asuka: "Hey, you liked doing the Heartwarming one. Or all the 'We Can't Post This Here!' ones for the 'Israfel Special AU!'."
Rei: "Oh yeah, I loved those. Especially the rehearsals." :-3
Shinji: "Am I going to have to take more vitamin E tonight?"
Asuka: "Like you're complaining?"
Shinji: "Do I look stupid?"
Asuka: "Not yet, but I can guarantee you're gonna have one of those 'ahegao's by tonight!"
Shinji: "I love this project..."
Or elsewhere:
Ritsuko: "We can't film this next part! Me and Maya chasing Rei with tranq guns while she terrifies Aoba in a closet? GreggHL's going to sue!"
Fuyutsuki: "At least you've got a part. The way things are going, I'm half worried I'm going to end up shipped with the Commander."
Hyuga: "....MY EYES! I CAN'T UNSEE IT!"
Gendo: "My character would say 'Fuck all y'all', but I'm just going to put out the sandwiches I made for everyone and pack another bowl. Anyone want a hit?" ~bong gurgles~
Aoba: ~takes the bong, does a hit~ "Dude, you are so much more chill than your character." ~coughs~
Gendo: "I know, I'm awesome. Who wants chips?"
The Englanderish
Schrödinger's Kuudere Kitty Caliph(a)
- Location
- Califat de Chats
- Location
- Seattle, Washington
- Pronouns
- He/Him
I really need to finish catching up on this. I have no idea what the hell Strypgia just posted, but I feel bewildered and confused.
Krazyfan1
Worrying for the future.
- Location
- Australia
...odd....didnt get any notifications...
Ranma-sensei
Sorcerer
- Location
- Citrix Receiver
- Pronouns
- Weatherdependent
The notification system likely overloaded at the hilarity of it all.
The Fourth Monado
S U B A R A S H I I
- Location
- Away
Beautiful.
Simply... beautiful.
Morepls?
Simply... beautiful.
Morepls?
Dragontrapper
Homeless Draconis
- Location
- A Tower in the middle of nowhere
I second this. You people worry me, but in a good way.
Has this become a legit thing?
- Location
- The Midlands.
Sort of. And anyone wanting to do a really NSFW one can always use QQ; there's a thread for NSFW omakes for my Israfael Special fic that people can use until and unless Strypgia makes an account there.
That's the Heartwarming one that was talked about in the Omake.
- Location
- National Capital Region, USA
Only in my head, sorry. I had a possible 'Rei sleeps over on the first night of her re-detox, between Shinji and Asuka in the living room, like they did during the pre-Israfel Synch Training', but it kept shooting right over the line of 'WAFFy cuddles with a worried and scared Rei' into 'All-Night Israfel Special Ahoy!', so I had to scrap it. But it may serve as the basis of a bunch of omake jokes for a AU series never 'filmed'!
What makes you think I don't lurk there and laugh my arse off at all the 'Squishy is so meeeeeeean!' whining in the 'Crap on SV' thread?
More seriously, I'm reluctant to try my hand at an outright smut scene, since the closest I've come to that is some of the bits of Shinji and Asuka hesitantly venturing into physicality in A Crown of Stars, and I've never gotten enough feedback on those to get a good feel for how they read.
BadRoad
a thousand miles
I could ask my mom to recommend some Harlequin titles if you'd like a reference for what's acceptably entertaining.
Not needed.
Israfel Special, kthxbai.
@Strypgia
Do it!
JUST DO IT!!
I believe 2 gallons of beer is my limit, otherwise I won't be able to communicate properly. Goodbye, for now.