Hm. Ya know, i'm not sure about opening with "we're from the government". If I was an archmage who had stolen the Declaration of Independence and a government agent appeared in my hide-out...I'd probably cast first, ask questions later.
I do like the idea of having Monogram lead the convo / introduce himself first, considering he's the one that made the quest possible to begin with.
Also, in terms of avoiding escalation, Russ has resting Cop Face, while Monogram is about as intimidating as a moldy cheeseburger.
 
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I don't know what's the right way to start the conversation, but I do know what the wrong way is:

[ ] "Hello, Balthazar"
-[ ] "We represent the local homeowner association, and would like to talk about the state of your front lawn"
 
[ ] "Hello, Balthazar"
-[ ] "We represent the IRS. You haven't paid your taxes since 2015, so we are taking matters in our own hands"
 
Kitsune deserves a shoulder rub after that, given she was carrying the whole team.

Honestly surprised Mirrorgram got to roll given his current predicament.

The Muppets actually winning, however briefly, a contest of martial might is also a pleasant surprise.

Russ could really do with a vacation. He isn't going to get one, but it should be noted nonetheless.
 
[ ] Plan: We Don't Want No Trouble V2.
-[ ] See if Russ and Kitsune can identify a Balthazar Blake.
-[ ] Introduce Ourselves and our Employers
--[ ] Major Monogram, of the New Organization Without a Cool Acronym
---[ ] Have him also explain this is a joint operation between Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorperated and the Federal Government
--[ ] The Muppet's Theater Troupe
---[ ] Gonzo, Investigative Journalist of DEI
---[ ] Kermit, Gonzo's Direct Superior at DEI
---[ ] Rizzo, Gonzo's Direct Inferior at DEI
--[ ] Kitsune, DEI's Occult Diplomat, and Member of the Third Race
---[ ] Reveal she is called "Hero of the Bazaar" do to her actions on Christmas Eve a few years back
--[ ] Agent Russ, of The Department of Paranormal Investigations
-[ ] Have The Muppets ask Blake about the Rats and the weird, staff wielding man with a child running around
-[ ] Reveal the primary goal is the reclamation and protection of the Declaration of Independence, and Monogram tracked him down to here
-[ ] State that, do to the fact he clearly doesn't want to hurt anyone, that we are fully willing to hear him out on why he'd steal the DoI.

Minor changes to the plan, flexing the accomplishments of Kitsune, considered doing Russ at Halloween but decided against it.
 
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...wow. Go Kitsune! Carry this team to victory!

Also, yeah. No. We should not try to start a fight and go out of our way to avoid one. Kitsune is the only one who is relatively combat-ready, with Russ still stuck in his funk and on a string of losses, Monogram stuck in a mirror, and I do believe the Muppets are on fire. So, let's be polite, calm, and charismatic.

[ ] Plan: We Don't Want No Trouble V2
 
Incidentally 'checking for traps by walking down the corridor' is precisely how the Muppets would play D&D

DM Kermit: Alright, as you look down the hallway, you recall your informants telling you how the orcs like to set traps. How do you go about-

Gonzo: I throw a rock at the dragon!

Kermit: Wait what?! *checks DM screen to make sure it's still blocking everything* How did you...? I never told you about...?

Gonzo: Well the game is called Dungeons and Dragons, right? We're in a dungeon, so there must be a dragon!

Kermit: I... can't actually refute that logic. But why do you want to throw a rock at him?

Gonzo: Why it's quite simple, yet ingenious if I do say so myself! If we anger the dragon, he will charge at us through the hallway, thereby setting off all traps and injuring himself in the process, making for an easy fight! It's foolproof!

Rizzo: oh that's pretty clever! But uh, how you gonna hit him with a rock? He's not even in the room?

Gonzo: Per our pre-established houserules, if I roll a natural 20 on the dice, I automatically succeed at any task, no matter how implausible!

Rizzo: so your entire plan is to roll a nat 20? It'll never happen, it's one in a million!

Kermit: Well actually it's about 1 in 20, but that's still pretty long odds Gonzo, are you sure you don't want-

Gonzo: The laws of narrative causality are on my side! I cannot lose!

Kermit: But that's not...no, you know what, go ahead, make your roll.

Gonzo: *rolls* Woo-hoo! Nat 20!

Rizzo: Yeah! In your face dragon!

Kermit: Huh. Ok then. But...*quickly checks notes* Um, Gonzo, I would like you to make a retroactive wisdom roll to see if you spot any potential flaws in your plan.

Gonzo: Bah, I already told you, it's foolproof! But if it makes you happier that I outwitted you *rolls* nat 1. Huh, what were the odds?

Rizzo: About 1 in 20 I'm told.

Kermit: You know what, that result is probably in character anyway. Rizzo, would you like to make a wisdom roll?

Rizzo: Uh, no, but I am going to back out of the room and hide, just on general principle.

Kermit: Probably a good idea. Alright Gonzo, you throw your rock and inexplicably hit the dragon at the other end of the dungeon. Angered, he is going to come up through the floor directly behind you.

Gonzo: What?! No, he's supposed to come from the other end of the hall?! You know, and set off the traps?!

Kermit: Well actually that's what the wisdom roll was for. You see, you just assumed you knew where the dragon was, but if you take a peek at this map here, you'll see that his lair was actually directly below you the whole time.

Gonzo: Uhhh...

Rizzo: I would like to reiterate that I am hiding in another room.

Gonzo: Uhhh...I guess I run away?

Kermit: Down the hall full of traps?

Gonzo: ......

Kermit: ......

Rizzo: ......

Gonzo: ...... Yyyyyeees.

Kermit: OK then. So the dragon is going to chase you while breathing fire, you're gonna set off a whole boatload of traps, and meanwhile all the noise is going to alert the orcs who were waiting in ambush on the other end. So you're gonna take just a little damage, one second.

Rizzo: Woah, that's a lot of dice. That's like what, 10 dice.

Gonzo: Uh Kermit, are you sure you have the right ones, those are d20s, don't you want d6s, or maybe-

Kermit: No.
 
Kermit: You know what, that result is probably in character anyway. Rizzo, would you like to make a wisdom roll?

Rizzo: Uh, no, but I am going to back out of the room and hide, just on general principle.

Kermit: Probably a good idea.
Rizzo knows better than to remain in the room after a 20 and a 1 have been rolled.
It's either dealt with, and so doesn't need him, or it's going to absolutely destroy every party member nearby, which also isn't a smart move to stay near.
 
Hm....
"My name is Balthazar Blake." He says. "Who the hell are you?"
Does anyone has some fancy red sunglasses? :V
Joke aside, we are finally here!

Would be nice if he accepted our help.... or straight up joined us at DEI.
Pipe dream, i know, but would be nice.

Edit: you think he could keep the ring safe from Janna if he joined?

Edit 2: with wording being important... Shouldn't we offer him to help?
 
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[X] Plan: We Don't Want No Trouble V2.
-[x] See if Russ and Kitsune can identify a Balthazar Blake.
-[x] Introduce Ourselves and our Employers
--[x] Major Monogram, of the New Organization Without a Cool Acronym
---[x] Have him also explain this is a joint operation between Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorperated and the Federal Government
--[x] The Muppet's Theater Troupe
---[x] Gonzo, Investigative Journalist of DEI
---[x] Kermit, Gonzo's Direct Superior at DEI
---[x] Rizzo, Gonzo's Direct Inferior at DEI
--[x] Kitsune, DEI's Occult Diplomat, and Member of the Third Race
---[x] Reveal she is called "Hero of the Bazaar" do to her actions on Christmas Eve a few years back
--[x] Agent Russ, of The Department of Paranormal Investigations
-[x] Have The Muppets ask Blake about the Rats and the weird, staff wielding man with a child running around
-[x] Reveal the primary goal is the reclamation and protection of the Declaration of Independence, and Monogram tracked him down to here
-[x] State that, do to the fact he clearly doesn't want to hurt anyone, that we are fully willing to hear him out on why he'd steal the DoI.
 
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