DB_Explorer
Purveyor of alternate realities.
- Location
- San Diego, California
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Sayaka to Homura: Can I be batgirl?
Homura: .... ..... ..... Saaaaaaabrinnnnnaaaaaaa
Puella Magi Adfligo Systema
- Thread starter Firnagzen
- Start date
-
- Tags
- puella magi adfligo systema puella magi madoka magica be gay do crimes (gay) female protagonist bad decisions dating mami tomoe (tomoe mami) diabolical laughter friendship is the best ship handholding identity crises microwaving tea gets you put in the bad place names are important the body is the fursona of the soul this is not the baked goods thread we don't talk about rionna what could possibly go wrong? who in the world is azure sanfrancisco?
Sayaka to Homura: Can I be batgirl?
Homura: .... ..... ..... Saaaaaaabrinnnnnaaaaaaa
- Location
- Illinois
Fact is, Mura, I am listening to myself. That's why I struck out that entire section. I am listening to myself, and hearing "telling people that Homura cares about Madoka in particular more than would be normal isn't a spectacular idea for a variety of reasons centered mostly around Homura not wanting us to do it." And I agree with that. What you are hearing that your response is quote
I do not know. Sayaka said that there was "something weird," not that "it's weird how much Homura cares about Madoka." There is a difference.
Meanwhile, nobody is making you put anything in any terms. You can be bothered about it all you want, but let's get this straight: you wrote that vote, not I. If it bothers you so much, change it.
EE: merged previous edit into text for better reading.
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- Location
- Somewhere up the tree
I agree with you, but we could really do with venting on how our metaknowledge makes us really upset at times cause there are things we know that we can't talk about because of secrets and infohazards and other things. knowing where all the cards lay just puts you right in the middle of the dysfunction junction that is madoka magica
Vebyast
Nascent Transhuman
This vote says nothing about why Homura is so fixated on Madoka in particular. Sayaka is not asking why Homu is so Homu. She's already met enough crazy and or why so serious magical girls to handle the Homu. Sayaka is asking why Homu is Homuing at Madoka. That's the weird part. This vote does nothing to avoid a situation where someone asks Homura a bunch of dangerous, stressful questions.
This is better, in that it's at least addressing the real issue, and its core approach is excellent. The problem is that it then throws in a ton of unnecessary extra information that does nothing but make Sayaka even more suspicious, offsetting the strong core and crippling thread discussion by getting everyone hung up on one contentious aspect of the vote.
@Muramasa, I know my reading comprehension is bad this week, but I can't tell why the line about Madoka is in there. Your argument to Kai's bit about over-sharing is that you believe that there's no reason for it to not be in there, but that's very different from saying that there's a reason for it to be included in the vote. What is that item doing there? What effects do you see it having, both positive and negative, and why do you believe the positive effects are worth the negatives?
In other words, why do you believe your vote is an improvement over this one?
[] Answer her. That's a good part of it. Yes.
[] The answer is complicated and involves things I can't tell you and aren't mine to tell. I was hoping one day she'd tell you herself.
[] Homura has her reasons. They are good ones and they'll make complete sense to you once you have the context but only then.
[] Sayaka? She's a good person. Just... be patient with her okay? Things are hard for her.
Now that I'm looking at it, what improvement is that vote over an augmented default?
[X] How do you answer Sayaka?
- [x] Confirm in vague terms. Reassure Sayaka about Homura's intentions. You want Sayaka to support Homura, not go digging and set her off.
- [x] Apologize for not being able to say more. You hope that Homura will be able to tell everyone everything one day, but for now Homura trusts you to keep her secrets.
- [x] In the meantime, assure Sayaka that Homura is a good person and doing what she can to help. Everyone deserves helping, but she deserves more than most.
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Diomedea
A piece of the continent
- Location
- The interblag
- Pronouns
- She/Her
I feel we've wandered away from the update.
This is what Sayaka is asking about. Homura's interaction with Madoka. That's why Madoka is directly relevant. There are two questions here. The first is the explicit "What is Homura doing (with her exclusion of Madoka)?" The second is the implicit "Why is Homura doing it?"
Sayaka's bit about secrets is tacit acceptance that the second question will be unanswered, but I think it's important to at least affirm what Homura is doing. She is protecting Madoka. Acknowledging that Homura is trying to protect Madoka will help Sayaka contextualize Homura's...Homuraness and remove any niggling doubts about why she keeps shutting down Madoka's attempts to involve herself.
My ideal vote would pretty much be.
1) Confirm she's trying to protect Madoka
2) The reasons and whole story about it are not ours to share, but she has good ones.
3) You hope she'll fully open up one day to everyone, but you don't think pressuring her will help at all; it would probably just make her withdraw more into her shell.
4) That's pretty much all that can be said on the topic. Apologize you can't say more, and hope that was enough of an answer.
Edit: I don't like most of the votes, because they dodge around "what" Homura is exactly doing, while trying to get Sayaka to be supportive. How, exactly, is she supposed to support vague good intentions? What things should she suggest or not suggest? What should she do or not do?
This is what Sayaka is asking about. Homura's interaction with Madoka. That's why Madoka is directly relevant. There are two questions here. The first is the explicit "What is Homura doing (with her exclusion of Madoka)?" The second is the implicit "Why is Homura doing it?"
Sayaka's bit about secrets is tacit acceptance that the second question will be unanswered, but I think it's important to at least affirm what Homura is doing. She is protecting Madoka. Acknowledging that Homura is trying to protect Madoka will help Sayaka contextualize Homura's...Homuraness and remove any niggling doubts about why she keeps shutting down Madoka's attempts to involve herself.
My ideal vote would pretty much be.
1) Confirm she's trying to protect Madoka
2) The reasons and whole story about it are not ours to share, but she has good ones.
3) You hope she'll fully open up one day to everyone, but you don't think pressuring her will help at all; it would probably just make her withdraw more into her shell.
4) That's pretty much all that can be said on the topic. Apologize you can't say more, and hope that was enough of an answer.
Edit: I don't like most of the votes, because they dodge around "what" Homura is exactly doing, while trying to get Sayaka to be supportive. How, exactly, is she supposed to support vague good intentions? What things should she suggest or not suggest? What should she do or not do?
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Torgamous
Aspiring Gynoid
- Pronouns
- She/Her
No, it's not. We should, by default, be telling our friend anything we don't have a reason to hide.
- Location
- Illinois
[] Pause flight, turn windows opaque. It's not a privacy field, but it's the next best thing.
[] Intent: Establish that this topic is kept secret to protect Homura from emotional damage.
[] Tone: Frustrated with your inability to find a better solution to the problems at hand, supportive of Sayaka's right to ask (she has good reasons), deep empathy mixed with admiration for Homura.
[] You'd really like to explain everything to her about it, actually, but doing so would involve outright harming Homura.
-[] The thing is -- and she should emphatically not speak of this to anyone, as you're only telling her it because you aren't certain it's safe to not -- that Homura's past is outright legendary, and like many legends it is not happy. She has suffered evils almost beyond belief. One result of this is that she doesn't want her past talked about -- at all, if possible. Another is that you are deeply unwilling to do wrong by her. She is owed that, and by far, far more people than just you.
--[] To be clear, you don't feel that Sayaka has done something "wrong" here -- on the contrary, she has good reasons to be asking these questions. The problem is the collision between the good reasons on both sides. You've honestly been expecting it, but... it hasn't made dealing with it any easier.
---[] ... If she starts treating Homura like she's been Hitomi, you will have words. She needs friends and the ability to take things at her own pace.
This is the latest thing I have written that I know I support, in that because we're going to need to tell Sayaka something, it's not actually an issue that we do it now and then tell Homura that yes, we had to later. But I'm completely out of it atm. I don't-- honestly I want to go to sleep at the moment. I'll fail because of my meds but that's what it is. I'd probably try to reconcile something with Godwinson otherwise but at the moment I practically just wish my stake in this vote would go away.
I'm not going to write a lengthy explanation. I'm not going to ask people to vote for this. I'm not going to say much more. But I'll vote this for the sake of voting what I think I probably want to vote, I guess.
[] Intent: Establish that this topic is kept secret to protect Homura from emotional damage.
[] Tone: Frustrated with your inability to find a better solution to the problems at hand, supportive of Sayaka's right to ask (she has good reasons), deep empathy mixed with admiration for Homura.
[] You'd really like to explain everything to her about it, actually, but doing so would involve outright harming Homura.
-[] The thing is -- and she should emphatically not speak of this to anyone, as you're only telling her it because you aren't certain it's safe to not -- that Homura's past is outright legendary, and like many legends it is not happy. She has suffered evils almost beyond belief. One result of this is that she doesn't want her past talked about -- at all, if possible. Another is that you are deeply unwilling to do wrong by her. She is owed that, and by far, far more people than just you.
--[] To be clear, you don't feel that Sayaka has done something "wrong" here -- on the contrary, she has good reasons to be asking these questions. The problem is the collision between the good reasons on both sides. You've honestly been expecting it, but... it hasn't made dealing with it any easier.
---[] ... If she starts treating Homura like she's been Hitomi, you will have words. She needs friends and the ability to take things at her own pace.
This is the latest thing I have written that I know I support, in that because we're going to need to tell Sayaka something, it's not actually an issue that we do it now and then tell Homura that yes, we had to later. But I'm completely out of it atm. I don't-- honestly I want to go to sleep at the moment. I'll fail because of my meds but that's what it is. I'd probably try to reconcile something with Godwinson otherwise but at the moment I practically just wish my stake in this vote would go away.
I'm not going to write a lengthy explanation. I'm not going to ask people to vote for this. I'm not going to say much more. But I'll vote this for the sake of voting what I think I probably want to vote, I guess.
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- Location
- The Surface Of A Hostile Planet
@Firnagzen
Can Sabrina set up an email address for herself while she's at the library? I don't think it'd take much time and it'd be worth having as a point of contact.
Can Sabrina set up an email address for herself while she's at the library? I don't think it'd take much time and it'd be worth having as a point of contact.
- Location
- Illinois
Seconded. Get a damn Gmail or something.
- Location
- USA, Midworld world line
[X] Sayaka did notice
-[X] How does she think Madoka feels about that?
-[X] Is she aware what sort of answer she is asking for?
-[X] Would she leave it to us to schedule a time for her to ask Homura?
-[X] We want to help them during a complicated conversation that might result.
-[X] We can't speak for Homura, but we can vouch for her.
--[X] By the Goddess.
[X] Consider Chinese IRC contact with Sayaka
[X] Enroll with an email provider online. Connect it with cell number over SMS.
[X] Enchant some Grief
Let me ask you to phrase the question using a vote?
Will those in favor please adopt their own versions?
-[X] How does she think Madoka feels about that?
-[X] Is she aware what sort of answer she is asking for?
-[X] Would she leave it to us to schedule a time for her to ask Homura?
-[X] We want to help them during a complicated conversation that might result.
-[X] We can't speak for Homura, but we can vouch for her.
--[X] By the Goddess.
[X] Consider Chinese IRC contact with Sayaka
[X] Enroll with an email provider online. Connect it with cell number over SMS.
[X] Enchant some Grief
That is a very good idea, and about time.
Let me ask you to phrase the question using a vote?
Will those in favor please adopt their own versions?
Nervos Belli
Don't think this means you've won!
- Location
- Murica
So what would Sabrina's email address be? Could go with griefbegone like we did for the IRC, but I'd kind of like something sappier. MumihugsNotDrugs@ gmail.com?
- Pronouns
- She/Her
AdfligoSystema@gmail.com for official work email. 
Godwinson
"Well, I've got nothing."
Reformulating vote to more clearly address matters.
[X] Pause flight, turn windows opaque. It's not a privacy field, but it's the next best thing.
[X] Intent: We cannot properly answer Sayaka's question without breaking Homura's trust, so we need to address Sayaka's motive in asking, which is that she's worried about the weirdness with Homura and Madoka. To this end, we need to assure Sayaka that we know what's going on, and that even if we can't tell her, we trust Homura.
[X] Tone: Intensity of conviction. Sayaka has every right to ask, but she needs to know just how much digging into this would be asking.
[X] "I would love to be able to just talk about it, but it would hurt Homura if I did. More than that, it would betray her trust in me, trust that does not come easily to her, because of everything that she's been through. Homura is a hero, in the classical sense of the term, someone who has suffered in the course of trying to do something seemingly impossible."
[X] "I get why you'd ask -- Madoka is your best friend. I've tried to convince Homura to let me talk about the things around all of that, but it touches on some serious trauma for her, enough so that I'd feel really uncomfortable trying to pressure her on it. What I can tell you is that Homura has good reasons for the way she acts, and for keeping so many secrets, and that they'll make complete sense once you have the context for them."
[X] Pause flight, turn windows opaque. It's not a privacy field, but it's the next best thing.
[X] Intent: We cannot properly answer Sayaka's question without breaking Homura's trust, so we need to address Sayaka's motive in asking, which is that she's worried about the weirdness with Homura and Madoka. To this end, we need to assure Sayaka that we know what's going on, and that even if we can't tell her, we trust Homura.
[X] Tone: Intensity of conviction. Sayaka has every right to ask, but she needs to know just how much digging into this would be asking.
[X] "I would love to be able to just talk about it, but it would hurt Homura if I did. More than that, it would betray her trust in me, trust that does not come easily to her, because of everything that she's been through. Homura is a hero, in the classical sense of the term, someone who has suffered in the course of trying to do something seemingly impossible."
[X] "I get why you'd ask -- Madoka is your best friend. I've tried to convince Homura to let me talk about the things around all of that, but it touches on some serious trauma for her, enough so that I'd feel really uncomfortable trying to pressure her on it. What I can tell you is that Homura has good reasons for the way she acts, and for keeping so many secrets, and that they'll make complete sense once you have the context for them."
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Vebyast
Nascent Transhuman
[X] Pause flight, turn windows opaque. It's not a privacy field, but it's the next best thing.
[X] Intent: We cannot properly answer Sayaka's question without breaking Homura's trust, so we need to address Sayaka's motive in asking, which is that she's worried about the weirdness with Homura and Madoka. To this end, we need to assure Sayaka that we know what's going on, and that even if we can't tell her, we trust Homura.
[X] Tone: Intensity of conviction. Sayaka has every right to ask, but she needs to know just how much digging into this would be asking.
[X] "I would love to be able to just talk about it, but it would hurt Homura if I did. More than that, it would betray her trust in me, trust that does not come easily to her, because of everything that she's been through. Homura is a hero, in the classical sense of the term, someone who has suffered in the course of trying to do something seemingly impossible."
[X] "I get why you'd ask -- Madoka is your best friend. I've tried to convince Homura to let me talk about the things around all of that, but it touches on some serious trauma for her, enough so that I'd feel really uncomfortable trying to pressure her on it. What I can tell you is that Homura has good reasons for the way she acts, and for keeping so many secrets, and that they'll make complete sense once you have the context for them."
[X] Intent: We cannot properly answer Sayaka's question without breaking Homura's trust, so we need to address Sayaka's motive in asking, which is that she's worried about the weirdness with Homura and Madoka. To this end, we need to assure Sayaka that we know what's going on, and that even if we can't tell her, we trust Homura.
[X] Tone: Intensity of conviction. Sayaka has every right to ask, but she needs to know just how much digging into this would be asking.
[X] "I would love to be able to just talk about it, but it would hurt Homura if I did. More than that, it would betray her trust in me, trust that does not come easily to her, because of everything that she's been through. Homura is a hero, in the classical sense of the term, someone who has suffered in the course of trying to do something seemingly impossible."
[X] "I get why you'd ask -- Madoka is your best friend. I've tried to convince Homura to let me talk about the things around all of that, but it touches on some serious trauma for her, enough so that I'd feel really uncomfortable trying to pressure her on it. What I can tell you is that Homura has good reasons for the way she acts, and for keeping so many secrets, and that they'll make complete sense once you have the context for them."
Godwinson
"Well, I've got nothing."
Removed it... apparently as you were posting.
Vebyast
Nascent Transhuman
A list of reasons I support Godwinson's vote:
Sayaka responds better to emotional appeals, so stick with those; note that demonstrating emotion is not the same as evoking emotion. We can't address her question directly, but I think that it is safe to explain why we can't address her question. I think that it is critical to acknowledge her question so she doesn't feel like we're dodging it or ignoring her; that was a major issue with a lot of the previous votes. I think that it is also useful to tell Sayaka that we know the full situation behind the weirdness she's noticed, that we're on top of it, and that she doesn't need to worry about it - letting Sayaka think she needs to Do Something is how she ended up making her Wish. I think that it's useful to make Sayaka feel sorry for Homura. I think that telling Sayaka that we're actively working on helping Homura get past her trauma is very useful, since it supports the idea that we have a handle on the situation. I think that Homura won't mind that we're telling Sayaka that she's all traumatized; I think that it's easy to argue to her that everyone has kind of already noticed it. I think that "Homura is horribly traumatized" is certainly better than "Homura <3 Madoka", and serves the added benefit of helping Sayaka care more about Homura's well-being. I think that it's also extremely important that this vote states explicitly that Homura not just won't talk about this but can't talk about it because it hurts too much; that is critical for keeping Sayaka from going blundering around on her own and making things even worse.
In short, it does more things right and has more upsides than any of the other votes available, and it avoids a lot of the pitfalls and mitigates many of the unavoidable downsides.
Sayaka responds better to emotional appeals, so stick with those; note that demonstrating emotion is not the same as evoking emotion. We can't address her question directly, but I think that it is safe to explain why we can't address her question. I think that it is critical to acknowledge her question so she doesn't feel like we're dodging it or ignoring her; that was a major issue with a lot of the previous votes. I think that it is also useful to tell Sayaka that we know the full situation behind the weirdness she's noticed, that we're on top of it, and that she doesn't need to worry about it - letting Sayaka think she needs to Do Something is how she ended up making her Wish. I think that it's useful to make Sayaka feel sorry for Homura. I think that telling Sayaka that we're actively working on helping Homura get past her trauma is very useful, since it supports the idea that we have a handle on the situation. I think that Homura won't mind that we're telling Sayaka that she's all traumatized; I think that it's easy to argue to her that everyone has kind of already noticed it. I think that "Homura is horribly traumatized" is certainly better than "Homura <3 Madoka", and serves the added benefit of helping Sayaka care more about Homura's well-being. I think that it's also extremely important that this vote states explicitly that Homura not just won't talk about this but can't talk about it because it hurts too much; that is critical for keeping Sayaka from going blundering around on her own and making things even worse.
In short, it does more things right and has more upsides than any of the other votes available, and it avoids a lot of the pitfalls and mitigates many of the unavoidable downsides.
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- Location
- Not the asylum anymore
- Pronouns
- She/Her
[X] Godwinson
And now I'm crawling back to the one I first voted for.
And now I'm crawling back to the one I first voted for.
- Location
- Here
[X] Godwinson
Nova Prospekt pt. 24
You bite your lip.
Damn it.
It would be obvious at this point. They're in the same class, you all walk to school together in the mornings and eat lunch together and Madoka probably holds them all together. Add in how delicate you are about some of these matters, and Sayaka... Sayaka's not stupid.
Not an idiot at all, for all that she acts like one at times.
You slow the platform to a halt over long minutes, Sayaka's attention returning to the outside as if her question -and your answer- were of no import. But you can feel the curiosity in her gaze, gnawing at you even as she braces and weathers the brutal crush of deceleration without complaint.
You don't have enchanted Grief with you, nor do you have longer minutes to create a privacy device. The former of which is a mistake, and you should probably try to always have some on you at all times. It's way too useful. But that aside, you can shade the windows to total opacity, leaving the two of you in total darkness.
Darkness, until Sayaka holds her Soul Gem up, a gentle blue glow lighting up the stark, midnight black purple of your flight platform.
"That serious?" she asks, raising an eyebrow at you.
"Serious enough," you say, shrugging. "I just..."
You pinch your nose. "I..."
"It's OK, Sabrina," Sayaka says. "You don't have to."
"I just... I want to talk about it," you say. You take a deep breath and straighten, meeting her eyes. "I want to tell you about it, but it'd be a breach of Homura's trust, and I can't."
"It's definitely something to do with Madoka," Sayaka muses quietly. "But she hardly knows Madoka."
"I..." you run your hand through your hair, messing up already ruffled locks. "You have the right to know, but I can't tell you." You give her an intent look. "I want to. Believe me, I want to, but it'd be a breach of Homura's trust. Homura doesn't trust easily. It's hard enough for her to trust me -to trust anyone- at all."
You close your mouth, stopping short of telling her anything specific, because you're afraid that alone might hurt Homura.
Sayaka shakes her head, holding both hands up. "Hey. Chill, Sabrina, I'm not that upset," she says. "You're more upset about this than I am."
"I..." You close your eyes, covering your face with one hand. "No. Not exactly. It's just that you absolutely have the right to know. Madoka's your best friend. You should know, and I hate keeping secrets from my friends. Which is stupid, because I'm sitting on all the secrets."
"Yeah, well," Sayaka says. "I'm curious! I'm definitely curious and a bit concerned and I want to know, because this is weird shit. It's weirder than the fact that I'm a magical girl, hell, it's weirder than the fact that I'm a clone. But... I trust you. I trust Mami, I trust Homura. You'll do the right thing, and I'll support and help you."
You hear her shuffling across the platform until she's right by you, wrapping her arms around your shoulders in a quick, awkward hug.
"It's fine, Sabrina, it really is," she says.
You manage a faint laugh. "Dammit. I'm supposed to be comforting and helping and all that," you say. "I'm not... bah, I'm not that upset either. Just... I'm trying to be as honest as I can with you, which is unfortunately not much, and I'm irritated by that."
"I can live with not knowing for now," Sayaka says, shrugging.
"Yeah, well..." you say. "Homura is a hero, in the truest sense of the word. She's suffered in the course of trying to attain something seemingly impossible. And I can't tell you anything more, because... well, trust."
You take a deep breath. "I get why you'd ask," you continue. "Madoka's your best friend, yeah? I've tried to convince Homura to tell you, but it touches... it touches on some serious trauma for her. I can't possibly pressure her into telling, you know? But I can tell you she has reasons for all this, and all the secrets. Good reasons, and they make sense with the context, but... only then."
"But you're helping her, right?" Sayaka says.
"Yeah. I've been talking to her about it, but..." you say. "It's a lot."
Sayaka snorts, apparently amused. You can see her quirked eyebrow, the blue glow of her Soul Gem casting soft shadows across her face and dappled across the wall of your flight platform.
"You would," Sayaka says. "Of course you'd try to disentangle this... whatever it is." She shakes her head. "OK. I trust you. I won't bother Homura about it, either."
"... thanks, Sayaka," you say. "And just... things are hard for her. Be patient with her, OK?"
"Yeah," Sayaka says. "Of course. I got that impression of her a long time ago, honestly. Not like it's actually hard to notice when you really talk to her. She's... not really used to happiness, is she?"
"Yeah," you say with a sigh. "Pretty much. I... anyway. Yeah. Let's get moving again."
You set the platform in motion again, unshading the windows and raising chairs to brace against the acceleration as you pour on the speed. You're making up for lost time, now, and you still intend to try and hit up an IRC before meeting with Mami.
You stew in silence as you watch Japan blur past far, far below, brooding about Homura's situations and all these blasted secrets. You have to keep these secrets. And Chiyoda for all their probable memory wiping shenanigans, if they're keeping the truth about Witches away from the magical girl populace... you don't approve in the slightest, but you understand why they'd want to.
Sayaka seems content to be quiet too, lost in her own thoughts.
A thought strikes you as Mitakihara looms into view, and you straighten.
"... hey, Sayaka?" you say. "A... thought. Can eyes be blonde? I mean we have black hair and black eyes and brown hair and brown eyes and blue hair and blue eyes and all that."
Sayaka squints at you, raising her finger. Her jaw works silently for a moment before she shuts her mouth with a click and shakes her head.
"... no, no they can't," she says. "Because brown and black and blue are just colours in general, but blonde is a hair colour. Also, go compose poetry to Mami in your own time."
"That's... that's not what I was doing," you protest. "Really it wasn't!"
"Uh-huh," Sayaka says. "Sure."
"... I feel maligned," you say.
"'Maligned'? Seriously?" Sayaka stares at you. "Who says that?"
"Now you're just nitpicking," you grumble, folding your arms and huffing. You're perfectly aware that it makes you look childish, but it also perfectly fits right now. So there.
Sayaka laughs, and just like that, your black mood is gone. You're almost home, anyway, with Mitakihara glittering on the horizon, the spiderweb of roads tracing the coastline thickening as you approach the city.
"We've got..." you check your phone. "Half an hour, roughly, before school ends. Wanna hit the library or something? I wanna try looking for some local magical girl IRCs."
"Eh, I'll pass," Sayaka says, waving it off. She grins at you. "You good from here?"
"Yeah," you say. "Thanks for keeping me company on the way back."
"Cool," Sayaka says. "Later, then!"
She collapses into wisps of smoke, waving a goodbye to you as you hit the outskirts of Mitakihara and leaving you alone.
... you know, you say library, but that seems like a lot of trouble when you can just swerve right here and head home to use Mami's computer for a bit. It's not like you'll be spending long, anyway, but you set an alarm on your phone just to be sure.
You land on the roof amidst a cloud of dissolving Grief, dropping straight through the former floor of your flight platform as it melts away around you in a billowing cloud of nightmare purple and giving your coat a flick before heading down the stairs. Hah. Who says you can't do stylish?
... it feels weird to be home without Mami. You kick your shoes off and pull the curtains open to let the light in and the windows open so that there's some air, but not having Mami here makes it feel empty.
You brush that thought off and head for the study. It's not like you won't be back soon anyway, with Mami and Sayaka and perhaps Madoka and Homura and maybe, just maybe, Hitomi. Perhaps they'll have some time for you to pick their brains about the politics of Tokyo.
A thought pulls that scrap of paper from its shell of protective Grief, depositing it neatly in your hand as you boot the computer up. You squint at Nadia's cramped handwriting, searching for a likely selection. Something closer to home, maybe...
A Japanese IRC room, it looks like. If you're reading Nadia's notes correctly, this one's based around a few groups in Kyushu. Far, far to the south of Japan, where you don't exactly have much reach yet. That sounds perfect. You slap the enchanted Grief down on the table where it blobs like a lump of plasticine.
[] How do you respond to them?
- [] Any points to hit in your conversation with them?
[X] Head off to meet Mami and the rest of your friends at school
- [] Anything to discuss when you meet them?
[X] Talking to Homura
- [] What about?
[] Write-in (word count limit: 150 words)
Apologies for how long this took.
Damn it.
It would be obvious at this point. They're in the same class, you all walk to school together in the mornings and eat lunch together and Madoka probably holds them all together. Add in how delicate you are about some of these matters, and Sayaka... Sayaka's not stupid.
Not an idiot at all, for all that she acts like one at times.
You slow the platform to a halt over long minutes, Sayaka's attention returning to the outside as if her question -and your answer- were of no import. But you can feel the curiosity in her gaze, gnawing at you even as she braces and weathers the brutal crush of deceleration without complaint.
You don't have enchanted Grief with you, nor do you have longer minutes to create a privacy device. The former of which is a mistake, and you should probably try to always have some on you at all times. It's way too useful. But that aside, you can shade the windows to total opacity, leaving the two of you in total darkness.
Darkness, until Sayaka holds her Soul Gem up, a gentle blue glow lighting up the stark, midnight black purple of your flight platform.
"That serious?" she asks, raising an eyebrow at you.
"Serious enough," you say, shrugging. "I just..."
You pinch your nose. "I..."
"It's OK, Sabrina," Sayaka says. "You don't have to."
"I just... I want to talk about it," you say. You take a deep breath and straighten, meeting her eyes. "I want to tell you about it, but it'd be a breach of Homura's trust, and I can't."
"It's definitely something to do with Madoka," Sayaka muses quietly. "But she hardly knows Madoka."
"I..." you run your hand through your hair, messing up already ruffled locks. "You have the right to know, but I can't tell you." You give her an intent look. "I want to. Believe me, I want to, but it'd be a breach of Homura's trust. Homura doesn't trust easily. It's hard enough for her to trust me -to trust anyone- at all."
You close your mouth, stopping short of telling her anything specific, because you're afraid that alone might hurt Homura.
Sayaka shakes her head, holding both hands up. "Hey. Chill, Sabrina, I'm not that upset," she says. "You're more upset about this than I am."
"I..." You close your eyes, covering your face with one hand. "No. Not exactly. It's just that you absolutely have the right to know. Madoka's your best friend. You should know, and I hate keeping secrets from my friends. Which is stupid, because I'm sitting on all the secrets."
"Yeah, well," Sayaka says. "I'm curious! I'm definitely curious and a bit concerned and I want to know, because this is weird shit. It's weirder than the fact that I'm a magical girl, hell, it's weirder than the fact that I'm a clone. But... I trust you. I trust Mami, I trust Homura. You'll do the right thing, and I'll support and help you."
You hear her shuffling across the platform until she's right by you, wrapping her arms around your shoulders in a quick, awkward hug.
"It's fine, Sabrina, it really is," she says.
You manage a faint laugh. "Dammit. I'm supposed to be comforting and helping and all that," you say. "I'm not... bah, I'm not that upset either. Just... I'm trying to be as honest as I can with you, which is unfortunately not much, and I'm irritated by that."
"I can live with not knowing for now," Sayaka says, shrugging.
"Yeah, well..." you say. "Homura is a hero, in the truest sense of the word. She's suffered in the course of trying to attain something seemingly impossible. And I can't tell you anything more, because... well, trust."
You take a deep breath. "I get why you'd ask," you continue. "Madoka's your best friend, yeah? I've tried to convince Homura to tell you, but it touches... it touches on some serious trauma for her. I can't possibly pressure her into telling, you know? But I can tell you she has reasons for all this, and all the secrets. Good reasons, and they make sense with the context, but... only then."
"But you're helping her, right?" Sayaka says.
"Yeah. I've been talking to her about it, but..." you say. "It's a lot."
Sayaka snorts, apparently amused. You can see her quirked eyebrow, the blue glow of her Soul Gem casting soft shadows across her face and dappled across the wall of your flight platform.
"You would," Sayaka says. "Of course you'd try to disentangle this... whatever it is." She shakes her head. "OK. I trust you. I won't bother Homura about it, either."
"... thanks, Sayaka," you say. "And just... things are hard for her. Be patient with her, OK?"
"Yeah," Sayaka says. "Of course. I got that impression of her a long time ago, honestly. Not like it's actually hard to notice when you really talk to her. She's... not really used to happiness, is she?"
"Yeah," you say with a sigh. "Pretty much. I... anyway. Yeah. Let's get moving again."
You set the platform in motion again, unshading the windows and raising chairs to brace against the acceleration as you pour on the speed. You're making up for lost time, now, and you still intend to try and hit up an IRC before meeting with Mami.
You stew in silence as you watch Japan blur past far, far below, brooding about Homura's situations and all these blasted secrets. You have to keep these secrets. And Chiyoda for all their probable memory wiping shenanigans, if they're keeping the truth about Witches away from the magical girl populace... you don't approve in the slightest, but you understand why they'd want to.
Sayaka seems content to be quiet too, lost in her own thoughts.
A thought strikes you as Mitakihara looms into view, and you straighten.
"... hey, Sayaka?" you say. "A... thought. Can eyes be blonde? I mean we have black hair and black eyes and brown hair and brown eyes and blue hair and blue eyes and all that."
Sayaka squints at you, raising her finger. Her jaw works silently for a moment before she shuts her mouth with a click and shakes her head.
"... no, no they can't," she says. "Because brown and black and blue are just colours in general, but blonde is a hair colour. Also, go compose poetry to Mami in your own time."
"That's... that's not what I was doing," you protest. "Really it wasn't!"
"Uh-huh," Sayaka says. "Sure."
"... I feel maligned," you say.
"'Maligned'? Seriously?" Sayaka stares at you. "Who says that?"
"Now you're just nitpicking," you grumble, folding your arms and huffing. You're perfectly aware that it makes you look childish, but it also perfectly fits right now. So there.
Sayaka laughs, and just like that, your black mood is gone. You're almost home, anyway, with Mitakihara glittering on the horizon, the spiderweb of roads tracing the coastline thickening as you approach the city.
"We've got..." you check your phone. "Half an hour, roughly, before school ends. Wanna hit the library or something? I wanna try looking for some local magical girl IRCs."
"Eh, I'll pass," Sayaka says, waving it off. She grins at you. "You good from here?"
"Yeah," you say. "Thanks for keeping me company on the way back."
"Cool," Sayaka says. "Later, then!"
She collapses into wisps of smoke, waving a goodbye to you as you hit the outskirts of Mitakihara and leaving you alone.
... you know, you say library, but that seems like a lot of trouble when you can just swerve right here and head home to use Mami's computer for a bit. It's not like you'll be spending long, anyway, but you set an alarm on your phone just to be sure.
You land on the roof amidst a cloud of dissolving Grief, dropping straight through the former floor of your flight platform as it melts away around you in a billowing cloud of nightmare purple and giving your coat a flick before heading down the stairs. Hah. Who says you can't do stylish?
... it feels weird to be home without Mami. You kick your shoes off and pull the curtains open to let the light in and the windows open so that there's some air, but not having Mami here makes it feel empty.
You brush that thought off and head for the study. It's not like you won't be back soon anyway, with Mami and Sayaka and perhaps Madoka and Homura and maybe, just maybe, Hitomi. Perhaps they'll have some time for you to pick their brains about the politics of Tokyo.
A thought pulls that scrap of paper from its shell of protective Grief, depositing it neatly in your hand as you boot the computer up. You squint at Nadia's cramped handwriting, searching for a likely selection. Something closer to home, maybe...
A Japanese IRC room, it looks like. If you're reading Nadia's notes correctly, this one's based around a few groups in Kyushu. Far, far to the south of Japan, where you don't exactly have much reach yet. That sounds perfect. You slap the enchanted Grief down on the table where it blobs like a lump of plasticine.
You squint at that chat name for a second. That is definitely a pun. 'It'll work out', but cat.
You blink. You're not entirely surprised, you suppose. Your name would have spread that far, you suppose, if by word-of-mind alone. Idly, you pull up a second tab to make an email account for yourself while continuing to chat.
There's a distinct dearth of response for a moment, and you drum your fingers against the table, curious and... maybe just a bit concerned. You're just about to type something again when something new pops onto the screen.
You blink at the screen. Huh. Your eyes flicker to the time - you've got just over five minutes before you need to get moving again to make it to Mitakihara Middle School. Enough time for a quick conversation to clear this up, you hope.
[] How do you respond to them?
- [] Any points to hit in your conversation with them?
[X] Head off to meet Mami and the rest of your friends at school
- [] Anything to discuss when you meet them?
[X] Talking to Homura
- [] What about?
[] Write-in (word count limit: 150 words)
=====
Apologies for how long this took.
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- Location
- Not the asylum anymore
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Uh, think this an ungrammar, here.
Anyway, Kyushu. Is Osaka anywhere near there? Mom said she met a grief controller from there who had to have her kneecap privileges revoked.