No one asked for this, but it got stuck in my head and I did have fun writing it.
------
The War for the Colleges came not as an attempt by zealots not seeking to remove what they called impure, but as a result of that other most common impulse of the pious, conversion.
The opening salvos of the War began by the proclamation carried in the Tenth Sacral Bull of Kirste Maurer, 45th Custodian of the Portal, Sacerdos Maxima Cultus Morr, Sword of the Serene Repose, Keeper of the Grand Ravenry, and Mourner Most Excellent. In her declaration, the supreme priestess of the Cult of Morr had declared the establishment of the Order of the Amethyst, a monastical sub-order dedicated the exploration of the mysteries of Morr underneath the supervision of its Abbess Elspeth von Draken. This was a surprise to many including Magister Matriarch Elspeth von Draken who was quoted to have said, "That conniving bitch," after reviewing the content of the letter. It must be added that Magister Matriarch von Draken was a woman of quiet piety with a proven history of service to the Lord of Dreams and Guardian of Souls.
1
Utterly incensed at the violation of the national dignity and authority of the Empire of Man and its Rightful and Beloved Suzerain, His Majesty Lupold II.
2 Magister Matriarch Elspeth von Draken decided to address the situation in person, saddling her carmine dragon. She flew directly to the main campus of the Imperial College of Cessationary Thaumaturgy in Altdorf. She found her to her great shock; the campus had been invaded by Morrites. They had come armed not with blades, but decorations.
Initiates held busts of Ravens and actual ravens, tapestries of Morr in His various roles to include His rarely seen role as Lord of Artistic Inspiration.
3 Pots holding bushes of black roses and so many other symbols of the Cult as well as several crates of black robes. Even members of the laity had come. Mostly, Ostermarkers mothers and babas carrying pots of soup, borscht, and other meals. Assured in their knowledge that the servants of their Lord were but skin and bones and in need of a proper meal or two. The gatekeepers of the Amythest Order unsure, but aware of the long-standing friendship between the two organizations, had allowed them entrance.
This veritable army of the faithful went to work. Tapestries went up, ravens were let loose and rose-shaped topiary went everywhere. This was seen as fine as it fit the already existing aesthetics of the College. It was the demand for the residents of the College to trade their purple robes for black that saw conflict rear its ugly head. Provost Hannah Zimmerman arrived on the scene to see Morrite Initiates forcing apprentices, Perpetuals, and other members into black robes. She demanded an answer from Temple Father Johann Blot. The High Priest of Morr in Altdorf presented a copy of the Tenth Sacral Bull and a robe to her. She reviewed the bull and then the robe, staring Father Johann in the eyes before fleeing further into the College. A band of Babas chased after her, bowls of borscht in hand, chanting cries of "eat, eat,"
While the Amythest College suffered a failing battle against decorators, wardrobe stylists, and overbearing female relatives. Her Holiness Maurer's message had gone to the other Cults who saw it as proof of one thing. The Morrites had gotten the march on them. All across the city, armies of priests and priestesses head straight for the College of their choice. One goal shared among all of them. Getting while the getting was good.
The Shallyans marched with military-like discipline. The Matriarch of Altdorf leading the main segment of the host towards the Jade Order, supported by auxiliaries of lay followers. Iterant priests have been sent out as the reconnaissance element, assisted by several wings of specially trained doves. A smaller element of the Shallyan force was detached towards the Light College headed by Matron Alessa Baurer, seniormost priestess of the Temple-Hospital of the University. Her forces augmented by small bands of theologians.
The second force was the first to encounter resistance. Not from the Light College, but by the Verenans who utilized their decentralized organization to their advantage, launching a guerilla campaign to slow down Matron Alessa's advance.
4 Small cells badgered the large Shallyan contingent, exploiting the centralized and hierarchal nature of the cult. This dedicated front helped their brothers and sisters to become the first force to the Pyramid of the Light Order.
Magister Matriarch Mira was surprised to say the least when Manfred Archibald, High Priest of the Temple Library of Verena the Wise, stood outside the gates to her college. Behind him was a sizable host of his fellow Librarian-Priests and Priestess, all of whom were holding either books, scrolls, and in some cases a bunch of large sacks. A parliament of owls watching down from the nearby roofs.
5
Magister Matriarch Mira inquired as to why they were there. His Holiness replied that the Goddess had sent the cult a message. The Order of Illuminatory Thaumaturgy sought to bring the light to the darkness. To parse what was true and what was false. That their own ranks were filled with some of the greatest minds in the world. Were these not the same goals as She had given to Her faithful? A question remained. What if the Light of Hysh was but a small part of the Light of Wisdom-that-is-Verena? Which meant that by all rights, the Order of Light was actually an monastical order dedicated to the same Goddess as they were.
It was here that Magister Matriarch Mira grew rather concerned at the manic speech be given. Unfortunately, it was at this same time that Matron Alessa's force broke through the Verenan defensive screening.
The air filled with the war-coos and screeches of doves and owls alike as the faithful of the Mother of Wisdom and Lady of Mercy battled each other and the utterly shocked hierophants. Magister Matriarch Mira being captured by the Verenans early on the fighting, collapsed the shoddy defense of the Light Order and both invading forces charged in, articles of faith and robes raised as they hunted down the fleeing Light Wizards.
As the Battle of the Pyramid went on, it was at the Celestial College that a surprise to the scene appeared.
Den-Father Einar Ulfarsson, head of the North Temple of Ulric, had heard the proclamation and ready his forces for battle. For those who are thinking Ulric was hostile to magic, it must be said that Middenheim, the holy city of the White Wolf, had been home to the oldest official magical institution in the Empire.
6 This had led to a neutral position among most Ulricans who saw magic as untrustworthy, but so was gunpowder and none but the most extreme would demand the removal of the cannons from Middenheim's walls.
Einar went even further. He held to a radical belief that magic was not a curse, but a gift. It had to be taught and carefully husband but was no different than a man learning his strength. He saw the magic of the Celestials as the closest to Ulric.
7 None are sure as to why, but Einar and his congregation headed out, ready to add new members to their pack.
It was this force of armed Ulricans which raised the defenses of the Celestial College, fearful of some band of zealots come to visit violence upon them. Yet, Den-Father Einar's impromptu sermon on the nature of individual difference and the strength it brought to their communities lulled them into believing that this was actually an attempt to bridge the two groups. To understand each other and further the chances of mutual cooperation. It was, of course, a trap.
8 The Ulricans leaped into action. With an almost savage evangelicalism, they began to anoint and introduce several members of the Celestial College to the mysteries of Ulric. This combined with the aesthetic insult of putting up wolf-pelts was when it was understood what was happening. Reverse gentrification.
As the White Wolf laid His claim to the Astromancers, it was at the Jade College where the main force of the Shallyans arrived. Matriarch Anja Gustavson declared that by the nature of their work, all Druids skilled and proficient in the magics of regeneration, rehabilitation, and recuperation were but unofficial members of the Order of the Bleeding Heart. Thus, in the name of the Lady in White, the Jade College was to be recognized as a new Temple-Hospice.
The reaction was not unanimous rejection as the long-standing religious schism of the Druids reared its ugly head. The Shallyan segments of the Druids were fine with this. The Rhyan, Taalite, and Old Faith factions refused to accept this designation. The former supported by the arrival of Rhyan priestess led by Green Watcher Freya who declared the Jade Order to be the demesne of Mother Rhya as evidenced by the advances made in the fields of agroecology and other agricultural sciences.
9 The two religious groups prepared for violence when the doors to the Jade College opened. The Shallyans among the Order blamed the Rhyans and the Rhyans of the Order blamed the Shallyans. Whoever it was remains unknown, but what followed was a three-way battle between Rhyans, Shallyans, and Ishernosians. Further worsened by Druids aiming to aid their Cult of their choice.
The city rang with religious violence and even in the Imperial Zoo, the rapacious greed of the cults showed itself. Supreme Patriarch Dragomas was asked by Hierarch Arnold Bernhardsson if he and his fellow shamans wanted to be inducted into the Order of the Antler. Dragomas said no and they returned to their discussion on preserving the wild places of the Empire.
Only the Gold and Red Order were spared the attention of the Cults. Though a priest of a minor god of Nordland did pass along some pamphlets among both of them. The Grey Order was also rather quiet, save for the occasional cat or owl appearing out of nowhere, frightening a random apprentice before disappearing, but this was a common occurrence, so no one paid it any mind.
It was only on the seventh day when the Grand Theogonist and Supreme Patriarch stood together before the Emperor that an official declaration reaffirming the secular status of the Colleges of Magic was sent out, declaring an attempt to subsume an order as an arm of a cult a violation of the above, and subject to the removal of official cult status. Threatened with proscription, the Cults backed down and Custodian Maurer even retracted her declaration of ecclesiastical status for the Order of Amythest Wizards. Most everything returned back to normal. Though some wounds never healed and apprentices are no longer allowed to visit the Temples without chaperones for fear of being kidnapped.
10
1. This was not added due to any action on the part of Magister Matriarch Elspeth von Draken of the Imperial Order of Cessationary Thaumaturgy.
2 Any testimony that Magister Matriarch Elspeth von Draken was actually angered at being one-upped by her cards and tea partner is unverifiable and false.
3 This derived from the common refrain among many artists that their inspiration came from a dream they had. Some even believe that the Lord of Dreams created poetry to woo His Divine Wife.
4 Methods used included writing directions in Classical, the odd appearance of injured parties mysteriously healed by the single touch of a Shallyan priestess, civilian arrests, citations, and the occasional medical knowledge duel.
5 The other less-used term for a group of owl is a debate club.
6 Middenheim's Grand Guild of Wizards was established in 113 IC when the Graf at the time said, "Sure, anything that will piss off the Sigmarites,"
7 Hubert Denzel wishes it to be known he, at no point, made statements about comparing the meteorological powers of the Celestial College and certain Ulrican miracles.
8 Den-Father Einar wishes it to be known he repudiates the usage of this word. He preferred the term feint.
9 Magister Panoramia refused to give comment as to her opinion on the matter. Afterwards, the writer's team was threatened by a group of Halfing farmers, unintelligible watchmen, one wolf, several rats the size of wolves and a rather short woman in a pointy hat. Oddly enough, the last one was the most frightening.
10 Among those wounds remains the defilement of the Fung Shui of the Celestial College. The writer's team never discovered what this word meant.