The lounge on USS
Sappho was a din of noise and shouting, much to the chagrin of Commander Abigail Taggart. She was currently pressed against the bar by a crush of beer-swilling and sweaty men, several of them in various states of dress. Taggart had noted with some distaste earlier that the room had, indeed, been expanded in violation of regulations. But she was glad for it as another group of men shoved their way in, several of them showing off rippling muscle,. Although not so glad that the tea that she was gripping was nearly spilled on her, to say nothing about the close calls she was having with the spillage from the overflowing glasses around her.
Most of the crew was concentrated on the center of the room, where an arm wrestling match proved to be a generator of continual shouts of encouragement or disappointment. From what Taggart had gathered from her quick perusal of the ship's roster, the contest was between the Betazed Chief Engineer, Lieutenant Commander Kole, and the ship's Orion Counselor (and only other woman on board), Lieutenant Jelanna Ye Holena. The two, were, of course, shirtless. Their exposed muscles trembled with the effort of trying to break the stalemate they were locked in, cheers erupting whenever their hands moved one way or the other. The candidates themselves made no sounds, because in an apparent rules variation that made Taggart feel slightly queasy, members of the crew were funneling synthale into their mouths. Taggart wondered if the Chief Medical Officer would approve... until she realized he was one of the people controlling the supply of beer into the funnels. She sighed heavily, moving her arm out of the way as an ensign gesticulated wildly with delight as Jelanna seemed to temporarily gain the upper hand.
This is not what she expected from her posting as USS
Sappho's new XO. She'd debated with herself for a long time about leaving Courageous for the unremarkable vessel, knowing that her chances of advancement on the Explorer would be more limited than if she accepted a promotion on a smaller, non-explorer corps ship. Besides, her role-model (and, honestly,
giant crush) Victoria Eaton had departed, and despite the fact that Ajam seemed like a nice lady, it simply wasn't the same. So when USS Sappho had been reporting as having an opening for an XO, she took it and dedicated herself to bringing Eaton's sense of poise, grace, and quiet dignity to her new posting.
So far that looked only like a bitter fantasy.
Firstly, from the name she had expected…
significantly more women. Looked forward to it - in fact, that is what drew her to this particular Constellation in the first place. And on a quick glance, the crew manifest backed that up. Maybe a high number of male pronouns for the Andorians, but more Ashleys, Joyces, Alexes and Jamies than you could shake a stick at. Gender neutral names might be more politically correct, Taggart mused sourly, but it had allowed her to be tragically misled.
So, instead, there was only her and Lieutenant Holena. Taggart had tried to gently broach the subject of Holena's relationship status when she bumped into her in the ship's gym earlier this morning. But all Holena had done was laugh, and then immediately launched herself into a set of bicep curls that continued until Taggart walked away. So she was considering that a 'no'.
She suspected those curls were coming in handy now, as the tide of the contest was now firmly in the Orion woman's favor. The crowd was going insane, and one Andorian Ensign ripped his shirt off in emotional agony at seeing Kole on the path to defeat. He assuaged his agony by quickly downing a synthale that was passed to him. Taggart squinted at him in disapproval. As soon as she could actually
finish her tea, she would clear out.
Then, the activity in the room came to an abrupt halt as the lounge door slid open. Holena's eyes shifted to see who had entered and she spluttered her synthale. Kole took advantage of her momentary distraction to slam her hand back, the table rocking under the force. Then, he turned to look too. Taggart herself could just make out who walked into the room -- oh, thank God. It was the Captain, a short-set Tellarite. By the way the room was acting, she knew that he was about to put an end to this unruliness. She'd have to apologize later for not bringing it under control herself. But for the time being, she took the opportunity to sip her green tea in peace.
The Tellarite walked over to the now-finished arm-wrestling match, looking at Holena and Kole. He sniffed disapprovingly, and then looked backwards at the Andorian ensign who had been handed a fresh glass of Synthale. He took the glass from the suddenly-still ensign's hand and sniffed it. Then, he upended the whole glass, dumping its contents onto the carpeted floor at an agonizing rate.
"Do you think
this," he gestured angrily at the arm-wrestling table, "Is
acceptable, let alone this swill?"
Taggart beamed at the display of discipline and -- why was Holena smiling.
Why did she look like she was on the verge of laughter?
"This stuff isn't fit to serve to a Klingon!" The Tellarite boomed, "Ensign th'Inzker, bring out the good stuff!"
The crew murmured with excitement and Taggart's heart sank as the aforementioned Ensign and several crewmen carted in kegs on antigrav sleds. Several of the shiny barrels were covered in Vulcan script. The Captain -- whose name was Vol Chad,
because of course it was, slapped the kegs. "This here, boys, is only the finest stimulant-fortified wine, brewed by the best chemist-monks on P'Jem - only the best for our new XO!" He gestured at Taggart, and the crew turned and applauded. She smiled thinly back, and it turned into a frown as someone's wild applause caused her to spill her mostly-full cup on herself. Captain Chad didn't notice her discomfort. "And when you're all hopped up on whatever exotic caffeine strain they they put in this, you can join us one deck down for a real sport, not this arm wrestling shit." th'Inzker opened up a crate and tossed a volleyball to Chad as he pulled off his jacket. Taggart had no desire for the male form but she could tell the Captain was firmly in the territory of 'shredded,' and he easily caught the tossed ball. "Simulated beach is all ready, boys and girls! Let's go!"
The crew erupted into wild cheers and began to hoist several of the kegs until Holena slammed her fist down on the table to call for silence. She posed precariously, one foot on the table, one on the top of her wobbling seat as she pointed at Chad, "Sir! You are forgetting our sacred duties!" She twisted, her arm arcing to point at Taggart, "She must undergo... the keg stand."
"No thanks." Taggart said, flatly.
Holena blinked in surprise as an awkward hush settled over the crew, "But it's --"
"I will do it in her stead," Chad said, abruptly. He tossed the volleyball back to th'Inzker, who whooped his approval.
"DO IT! DO IT SIR!"
The crowd's attention was now firmly off Taggart as the Captain was lifted aloft and turned upside down, the noise deafening. She couldn't continue to watch this absurdity, so she turned back to the bar. Might as well order a tea in a secure mug and beat a hasty retreat. She looked up to see the bartender was a Vulcan. A Vulcan with a garish shirt, the collar on it popped high. A cap on his head was twisted sideways. Taggart just raised her eyebrow at him.
"It is only logical to attempt to 'blend in' for the sake of group cohesion," the Vulcan explained, before adding, "Bro."
This was going to be a long assignment.
