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A short little story from my time as a DM.

Aside from the adventure with the Calzone Golem, this is the funniest bit that came out of that 3-year-long, meandering series of adventures. I wouldn't even call it a campaign, because it didn't have an over-arching plot or anything, just a series of canned adventures.

Anyway, fairly early in the group's career, they were at an inn along a mountain pass, and had kobolds show up. They fought the little bastards, and drove them off, where they fled down the well. So the dwarven cleric started praying in the type "forgive me for what I am about to do" and bought the inn's only cask of dwarven stout.

And poured it down the well.

I didn't twig to what they were doing until they dropped the lit torch in and booked it. I was laughing so hard that I decided they had wiped half the dungeon down there with the Fuel/Air explosion, and gave them the XP for all those encounters, but also damaged the structure and they'd have to deal with potential cave-ins.

I miss those days.
 
Two quick shorts.
First is the time my one-night-stand bard seduced our party's celibate monk - on accident. (I hadn't been paying attention to who was where on the tavern map & pointed to a corner and in-character drunkenly asked if that table had a pretty person). Two Bardic Nat-20's later, and we woke up the next morning so far out of town that the rest of the party had a mini-session to rescue us. Then for the next five sessions, DM had her role a save for 'getting out of love/lust' ending in Three Nat-1's and two 2's. Meanwhile, DM had me role 'accepted excuse' checks for me to switch out to an old character as Ms Bard kept trying to run out on said monk - I couldn't succeed either. Sixth session, she managed a Nat-20 as my character finally bluffed out a good enough excuse.

Second is our Star Wars home-brew that managed to get all six party members an extra "Exotic Weapon" by the third session. See, we kept running into large groups of thugs, and running low on power packs. But then one of us would remember our cannibalistic Ewok Barbarian. And then, always unasked, take Gimli's advice -- "You're going to have to toss me". Thugs, meet rabid demonic man-eating meter-tall teddy-bear to the face. DM took the initiative to give everyone a free feat after seeing the action repeat thrice by different people. So we all now have a weapons proficiency in "Small Furry Party Member". except the Ewok's "I Am the Danger".
 
Kryslin said:
Taylor's lair is located in the mountains that surround Bahamut's mountain, as is Tiamat's, Kurya and Sonngrad's. Crystrani and Naichi have thiers around Brockton Bay someplace. Naichi's hoard consists of things valuable to her (she collects dolls), and Crystrani is an academic (so books, books, books). Taylor's is kind of generic, not having had much time to modify it, and add to it based on her interests.
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Don't know if it has been asked yet but does Naichi have a traditional japanese doll collection and stand set up in a sort of pride of place?
 
It just occurred to me. The funny D&D session "stories" that have been told here recently? Why not have those end up being the basis for some FUN omake's or something on this thread? And after the events in the "omake", either Miss Militia or Armsmaster would be with Emily Piggot at the time they hear the story, look at her and ask "Got any good drinks you suggest? Because I think we're going to be drinking buddies pretty regularly if this is going to be common."
 
It's been a long time since I played D&D, so I don't recall many incidents in detail, but some advice: Don't let a twelve-year-old play a Chaotic Neutral Thief (or a Malkavian, but we're talking about D&D, not WoD).

I'm not sure that he was twelve, but he was in that age group, and was the little brother of one of the other players (she was babysitting him, I think). I also don't recall his name, but in my mind I nicknamed him 'Rabid Squirrel' (and his character may have had a pet squirrel; also might have been a Kender, not sure). The one incident with him that I recall fairly clearly (which I think exemplifies his idea of what a Chaotic Neutral character is) is that when we were at an inn for the night, he decides that it would be funny to put butter or oil or some other lubricant on the stairs at night (our PCs, and our rooms, being up said stairs). Like I said, it's been a while, so I don't recall who exactly was injured, nor how badly, but we were all annoyed at him, since that prank was potentially lethal, and could have gotten the whole party in trouble if another guest or one of the barmaids had been injured.

So, lesson learned. Mind you, I think he could have found ways to make us regret letting him play even if he'd been playing a Lawful Good Paladin or similar.
 
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Probably the funniest story i have is from the last 3.5 campaign i played. My then girlfriend had rolled a human wizard, i was a drow fighter. Well, about fifteen minutes into the first session, we open a hatch and she drops into the first chamber of the dungeon. A 3x3 square room with a guard in each corner. Well, time to roll initiative! She gets first, cool. What is the first thing she does? Does she climb back up the ladder? Does she use her dagger to defend herself until i can show up to clear the room? Does she cast something sensible? Nope! She casts fireball. I barely passed the reflex save to close the damn hatch. On the upside, all the guards were dead. Downside? So was our wizard.

She never did make a replacement character.

Edit: Forever after, in that group, dying to doing something stupid was known as "pulling an Alexis". Also, it wasn't the last 3.5 campaign. It was the last one i played a fighter. I remember now because the last three campaigns we did of 3.5 all started with fighting a Purple Worm. The first two because the GM legit rolled it on the table, the third because by then, it had become a running gag. And yes, i did get swallowed whole every time. Thats why every character ive made since has a shortsword or similar that can be used while swallowed whole.
 
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shade argost said:
Don't know if it has been asked yet but does Naichi have a traditional japanese doll collection and stand set up in a sort of pride of place?
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Naichi collects dolls from all over; Matroska dolls, traditional Chinese dolls, Barbie, animal figures (I forget the name), etc. The "bed of coins" for Naichi is actually steel washers and gravel. Can't leave a pile of coins out where gangs and capes can get them, Nope.

So yes, she could have a collection of Japanese dolls and stand, though it would be in her lair (think buried aircraft hangar, with heavy physical security).
 
Kryslin said:
Keep in mind that a certain trick to see shapeshifters wont's be working; We as a culture are so used to illusions that our reflections only show what we wish to see, instead of things as they truly are. However, her reflection in the blade of a sword, that one will still work.
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Related question: could an antique REAL Silver mirror work?
 
Kryslin said:
Naichi collects dolls from all over; Matroska dolls, traditional Chinese dolls, Barbie, animal figures (I forget the name), etc. The "bed of coins" for Naichi is actually steel washers and gravel. Can't leave a pile of coins out where gangs and capes can get them, Nope.
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...does she collect Funko Pops though, or is that too much even for a dragon's hoard?
 
Am I the only one to encounter a Dragon, and try to Seduce it?
Let's hear it for High Charisma, and rolling a natural 20.
Relevant skills at the time were Performance (dancing), and Massage.
Ended up Sleeping on the nose of a very relaxed, and well polished Dragon.
...
Elistraee was so proud.
 
Itsune said:
Am I the only one to encounter a Dragon, and try to Seduce it?
Let's hear it for High Charisma, and rolling a natural 20.
Relevant skills at the time were Performance (dancing), and Massage.
Ended up Sleeping on the nose of a very relaxed, and well polished Dragon.
...
Elistraee was so proud.
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Ah, but did you succeed in having a child with said dragon? :V
 
Itsune said:
Am I the only one to encounter a Dragon, and try to Seduce it?
Let's hear it for High Charisma, and rolling a natural 20.
Relevant skills at the time were Performance (dancing), and Massage.
Ended up Sleeping on the nose of a very relaxed, and well polished Dragon.
...
Elistraee was so proud.
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Nope, in one campaign I was playing a elven wizard (female). We'd been hired to slay a red dragon that was terrorizing the area. Now unbeknownst to us, the dragon had heard about this already. As we hunted for the dragon in question, we came across an elven bard being attacked by highwaymen. Naturally, we intervened to save the bard. This bard decided to join us in our adventures. After a long search we returned to the Duke who had commissioned us. We had failed to find the dragon we'd been hired to slay, but the attacks also stopped so we did end up getting paid. The bard we had rescued adventured with the party for years. At one point a new player joined, and he took over running that npc. Towards the end of the campaign my character and the bard ended up marrying and settling down. At this point the GM revealed a big secret, one which even the person playing the bard hadn't known.

That bard we'd originally rescued? He was the red dragon we were hunting. He'd decided to infiltrate our party and destroy us from within. Only... Over time the dragon Kragnak realized he likes helping others. He'd also over time fallen in love with the elven wizardress he'd spent so much time with. By the end of the campaign his alignment had shifted from Chaotic Evil to Chaotic Good.
 
One fun story, this one actully from very early in my time playing DnD. My very first character, no less. So, we were fighting our way up a tower for some reason i no longer recall... and along the way, I grab a goblin by the neck and I'm holding him up off the ground so the sorcerer can interrogate him. Once we're done, I have the option to kill jim or release him. So I decided to just throw him out a conveniently nearby window.

Wait, thats not the cool part.

So, about a year and many adventures later, our party is attacked by a named goblin with class levels. I think he was a ranger or a fighter. He was dual weilding swords, I remember that much. This goblin was after us because he wanted revenge. Revenge for being thrown out a third storey window.

That GM wasn't always the easiest to play with, but sometimes... sometimes he had brilliant ideas.


A short, unreleted one:
Once, the party ninja got a nat 20 on a stealth check. The GM said that he now looks like a rock (in an open field outside a cave, so lots of rocks laying around). A bit of narrative time later, I roll a nat 1 on a spot check. So the GM says i notice the most innocuous thing around, a rock. Immediately after, the ninjas player goes, "damn, you found me."
 
I will admit, that around the time I first got into D&D I had a reasonably useful pronunciation guide for the Spider Bitch's name, as provided by one Peter Cullen. Admittedly, the portrayal was kiddified and dumbed down to the point of having almost nothing to do with the Bitch, but it WAS perhaps the second appearance in popular media of a named character that originated from one of the D&D manuals, the first being Tiamat from the first episode of the same show.....



Just...... don't expect there to be much for inspiration from that particular show. To give you an idea of how inaccurate it was to the game it was named after, they once killed a beholder by showing it a flower...
 
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Jacen1 said:
Just...... don't expect there to be much for inspiration from that particular show. To give you an idea of how inaccurate it was to the game it was named after, they once killed a beholder by showing it a flower...
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"I leave you to Lolth, demon queen of the spiders. Do with them as you will."

Yeah, totally inaccurate. If anyone acted like Lolth needed their permission to do whatever she wants they'd be fucked up faster than you can say Gazebo.
 
Just A Dude said:
"I leave you to Lolth, demon queen of the spiders. Do with them as you will."

Yeah, totally inaccurate. If anyone acted like Lolth needed their permission to do whatever she wants they'd be fucked up faster than you can say Gazebo.
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To be fair, Venger was the Big Bad of the series, had vast power specifically over Demons, and only feared one being in all the realms: Tiamat, who in first edition could kick Lolth's ass so hard every spider and every Drow in all the realms would feel it.

Besides, we don't know what deal Venger had with Lolth leading up to that point, so saying their bodies were hers to do with as she wished was just saying they were not under his protection, and have fun with them.

But, yes, the Corrupted Son of Dungeon Master normally would not be able to keep Lolth from doing what she wished.
 
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Ahh, D&D stories... I remember one game I ran where the party was planning to raid an evil wizard's tower that was up the coast a bit; I told them up front that I was planning to ambush them with zombies the next game session.

They were still completely unprepared when, upon getting in the boat to head out, they (and everyone else in the city's harbor) were attacked by zombie sharks.

(The wizard's tower, when they finally got there, contained no undead whatsoever.)
 
jmcdavid said:
Holy shit, I only said that as a joke! I wasn't expecting it to actually be a thing that artists had made drawings of! :rofl:
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Well, one artist in particular, and that tends to be a trend among bards in general. My Bard bucked the trend by specifically being in a committed relationship with my other character in that campaign.
 
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