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Puella Magi Adfligo Systema

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[X] Just being willing to try is huge. If she's convinced she can't get anyone to believe or trust her, she's never going to really try to make those things happen.
-[X] The last time she really tried to convince people and get them to trust her, she was missing information and advantages that she's since gained, and the repeated failures made her believe it wasn't doable. But at this point, that belief is harmful.

[X] As a survival mechanism, she's become extremely guarded about her emotions. Emoting is central to many ways of handling social interaction, and her guardedness hobbles it. She can only fix that gradually by engaging with others in friendly settings.
-[X] Allying and interacting with others changes a lot - instead of her lack of emoting being seen negatively as uncaring, people - you, Mami, and Sayaka for sure - can see that she's seen so much pain in her years and years of fighting that she's been forced to be this way.

[X] When somebody knows that this is why Homura is so guarded, Homura can ask questions and make requests without offering detailed reasons. Citing relation to her pain is enough. "Because this is hurting me," or, "I'm asking because of something painful in my past."
-[X] Referencing her pain as the reason for requests is the best way for her to do things like... Ask Sayaka what she should say to a hypothetical Alt!Sayaka in order to get Alt!Sayaka to trust her. It is also the single best route to Kaname Madoka swearing off a contract permanently.
 
[X] She's already started doing it. The guardedness and barriers she's built up are like the social equivalent of having a limp because she broke her ankle saving someone. With just the changed context of knowing what she fights for, instead of making her seem untrustworthy, they show how she's fought and suffered for a long time, trying to do the right thing. Just from reaching out, it's let everyone see her more clearly.
-[x] She's been trying to keep Madoka away, scare her away, for a long time, and you can understand why - but without the context, that made everyone interpret Homura's actions in a really bad light, and it made *Homura* see everyone in a bad light too - she always saw their suspicious side, instead of how caring they can be to their friends. Here and now, relaxing where she can, giving herself permission to laugh, smile, and joke when she can and just *interacting* with people, will see Madoka and Sayaka continue to get closer to her, and see her learning more about them in turn. It's emotional, social recovery, in the same way that physical recovery requires a sort of gentle exercise rebuilding.

[X] But... Homura probably isn't just worried about here and now, is she? You've been avoiding bringing it up, since you know it'll hurt, but... you don't want Homura to feel totally reliant on you with what has to feel like a brittle sort of hope. That's not fair to her.
-[x] You know that Homura likes to be able to reason her way through a problem. So here's your advice, that won't ever be needed, but should still help Homura settle some of the doubts she must feel - if things do go wrong, and she needs to start again. Borrow a notebook and write this down as you talk.
--[x] She has the info needed to actually argue her stance and mission to others, and explain the Incubator's lies. She's seen more of Mami and Sayaka now - and Mami can give her advice on how to convince her past self, in fact *everyone* will be mostly happy to explain their own reasoning to her if she asks them. And most of all... she should make sure Madoka has a place, and make sure she has the chance to see how much her contracting would hurt Homura.

Removing my proxy from Redshirt Army, as this is a swap over to a different base-vote.
 
I'll bet my cheesecake that Firn will end up using parts of both votes, both seem too good to just choose one over the other.
 
I like the way this update went.
For the last few updates I've been nervous but this one was a relief. It feels like the home stretch.

One thing that I'm having trouble with is figuring what exactly Homura is asking for at the end. What exactly does she want us to tell her?

Now thinking about the Kaizuki-Redshirt vote...
It seems good in general. I would perhaps like to hear more about the thought process behind it?
I like the first two parts. "Being willing to try is huge" and "emoting is important" both flow well to me.
I'm less sure about the last part.
It focuses a lot on Homura's painful past and feels inelegant.

I would also like to challenge the assumption that asking the people in question is the best way to figure out their motivations.
People are almost all quite terrible at such kind of introspection.
Humans have all manner of biases that interfere. (Sour grapes, sunk cost, rationalization, etcera)

While it might be interesting for her to ask people how to befriend a hypothetical alternate version of them, I don't believe it will be particularity useful.
Rather better strategies may be either:
A: Spend time around people and practice analyzing how they react to things. Ie "Getting to know people" (And I like the idea of Homura practicing this with new people she doesn't have preconceived notions about due to the loops)
B: Asking peoples friends about them. Ie, ask Madoka about Sayaka and visa versa. Homura asking Sayaka "Do you think Madoka would like if I ..." or "If I had said/did ___ how do you think Madoka would have reacted"
More specific questions would work better too. A blunt inquiry on how to make friends with someone is awkward. Exploring hypotheticals with less direct questions like "would you like/do you like _" and "if I had done _" would work better. Perhaps even "why do you think i'm cool".
 
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I'm not sure if this has come up in the conversation yet, but Homura would probably benefit from a lesson on nonverbal communication. More than half of what we say has nothing to do with our mouths, and most of our verbal communication is in how we say something rather than the words themselves.

When it comes to body language, facial expressions, and tonal shifts, Homura... doesn't, for the most part, which makes her appear extremely standoffish and hard to read. It's part of the shell she built up to protect herself. If she learned how to put what she feels back into her voice and posture it would make a world of difference in making connections. Victory has always been in the conversations we have, not the battles.

As an example, take the following sentence, "I suppose I could do that for you, if you make it worth my while." By changing your tone, expression, and posture, you can convey no than less five entirely different messages using the same words.

1. Saying it in a neutral, flat manner with a slight positive inflection means that you're inclined to help, but need something done in turn.
2. Saying it with a smile, a laugh, and a side hug means that of course you want to help, but you have something that needs to be taken care of in the meantime.
3. Saying it slowly and drawn out with an equally slow smile and steepled fingers means you've got the person over a barrel and are squeezing them.
4. Saying it with a sultry face and husky tone, leaning in, and walking your fingers up the person's chest means that you want sex of some kind.
5. Saying it in an aggrieved manner with a slump, a sigh, and maybe a groan means you really don't want to to do it but will if they offer something good in exchange.

I suspect Homura has no idea of the depths and complexities this topic can bring, so pretty please work it into the lessons?
 
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TJSomething said:
For comparison with US cities, Okinawa is at the about the same latitude as Miami (26N), Fukuoka is around Los Angeles and Atlanta (34N), Tokyo is near Las Vegas, Nashville, and Raleigh (36N), Mitakihara (in PMAS) is near San Francisco and Richmond (38N), and Sapporo is near Milwaukee (43N).
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And comparisons with Europe don't hold because the Gulf stream, but - Mallorca is about at 39N, and there's definitely Palm trees there.
 
@JayTar , Yes, I agree that Homura would progress faster by having new interactions with coaching. More broad experience is the way to go.

I also see the direct "Here is how to open your Empathy communication to someone" talk is something she will want. Homura has emotions that people want to be near, but both her her self-hate and her shell are making that benefit into a zero. Moe!Mura had much less trauma, and could do it. We should vote both here.

#######

At current, our votes dropped any serious short-term protection - despite the fact that we figured that out.

Restore some "Kyuubey isn't safe for you anymore, until after we win. Prevent it from talking directly to you by any means necessary" advice.
It's short, it's safe and we care.

The "once upon a never" advice means, as I read it, a good set of insights so Homura can follow along with "how Sabrina does that stage magic of Social."
It would be so much better to frame that information completely without talking as if "there could be another loop."
Losing Sabrina is a triggery thing to say to Homura right now. Don't even imply it. She loves her daughter, even as she struggles to understand us.

Fortunately, there is no need to use that setup. Explain it as conditions, "Sabrina did this thing, Homura was blocked by Incubator/PTSD/Learned Helplessness from doing the following things that would be effective too."
Or invent a better way!
 
Nerdasaurus Rex said:
There are palm trees in Scotland. The Gulf stream is crazy warm.
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There are a surprising number of people who don't realize how important ocean currents are in determining local climate.

That being said, I have no idea what Kamihama's climate is because I don't know where the hell it is in Japan. Is it in the north, near Mitakihara? Is it further south, on Honshu? or is it in the far north, in Hokkaido?
 
[X] Kaizuki

This covers those body language lessons I was talking about, so it's getting my vote. The time loop insurance is something we need to cover, but its current form is lacking because introspection is hard and asking someone to explain their reasoning won't always get you an accurate answer even if they tell the truth. Speaking from experience there.

Now, current business finished, time to gush. 'Cracks knuckles'

My first impression of fanfic questing wasn't the best, and the problems that rubbed me the wrong way appeared entirely baked into the core premise. The randomization of dice rolls and whims of the vote meant you couldn't build consistent characterization and story arcs, because someone good at socials could roll a nat 1 twice in a row and fumble a key moment through no fault of their own, and someone bad at fighting could roll a nat 20 and body someone who should have kicked their ass. You can spin reasons for those upsets after the fact, but it doesn't change that the characters and plot are subject to the whims of fate instead of proper story structure.

The second problem is what I refer to as 'time crunch.' As a quest gets further and further into the plot the number of things the PC has to juggle keeps going up. They stop being able to cover all the bases and have to intentionally let cool side-stories and important conversations slide until they're lost forever or turn into crises. The only story I've seen that sidesteps this entirely is "This is Going to be Such an ADVENTure," as your ability to get stuff done in the quest scales alongside the scope of the quest (You're building an army and can order them to do stuff for you). Delegation just doesn't seem to be a thing, not in amounts sufficient to cover all the problems.

This story is not like that, at all, and it's fantastic. I honestly can't think of anything critical to say, even minor stuff like continuity errors. The author uses characterization to drive the plot, not dice, and by extension both are rock solid. Our victories feel earned, our failures just, and our time never overly taxed or wasted.

The romance between Mami and Sabrina is incredibly strong, built up over hundreds of thousands of words brick by innocuous brick. It's not forced, it's not hackneyed, their relationship flows like the conversations they share. Making a quest OC have a convincing romance is even harder than it is for a normal character, and this one puts many of the latter to utter disgrace. They unmistakably love each other, even if it's never been said out loud. Even the lack of a proper snog isn't a problem here, because they're clearly shy and working up to it and it's only been a few weeks. I suspect we'll get that kiss after Walpurgisnacht goes down, and it'll feel just right.

Sure, it's only been three weeks in universe, but every single day is packed to the brim with important stuff that needs doing. Between Homura, telepathy, flight, not going to school, and using a calendar instead of having a set number of actions per day we almost never run out of time for managing everything that needs to be managed. The few times that changed, we delegated right away to friends that could handle it. Not having a list of all the paths not traveled at the bottom of every update helps with that, btw, which is such a minor detail that makes such a big difference, much like everything else in here.

I'll admit, I was dubious the first time I saw a voting break in the middle of a vital conversation, but those votes are the lifeblood of this quest. The talking is the most important part, and the quest and questers agree on that. Every time we interact with someone it's treated with just as much gravitas as a full on multi-faction brawl, and that's how it should be. When combined with the utter disregard for chance mechanics, oh, I could go on for pages about the characters, they're all so well done.

This is a story, first and foremost, and the author is telling one hell of a tale. This is what questing should be, and how it works when it's done properly. It hooked me so hard I ploughed through all 1.1 million words in approximately one week. I blame multiple late nights on you, MMAS, and I hope you're happy.

Edit: PMAS, dammit. Leaving incorrect spelling unfixed because it's funny.
 
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Shadowhisker said:
(As a side note, I wonder if there was ever a sweet spot in the loops where Madoka was powerful+informed enough to make a wish that would cut into QB's profit margins in the general meguca population, but not powerful enough that the payoff from Madoka's own contract+witchout would negate that.)
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"INCUBATOR YOU SHALL NEVER CONTRACT MADOKA!"

"Yes I concur, that would be a rather unwise choice."

"The fuck."
 
Architect Iront. said:
*snips gush*
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All that you're saying is why this quest remains my favorite quest of all time, and why narrative driven quests will always trump over dice-heavy quests in terms of quality. I remember when I blitzed the story archive for this quest in about three days, and even though I'm pretty much a lurker on this quest, it still brings a smile to my face whenever it updates.

Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but...

Fresh meat!
 
Redshirt Army said:
Welcome aboard! I'm very glad you've enjoyed this quest, and I welcome you to join all the other hamsters on wheels that make Sabrina's brain work.
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Already on it, and thank you. When it comes to social 101, body language and tone are lessons one and two. We say entire paragraphs with the way we stand and speak even before we process the words themselves, and speaking as someone who had to learn all this stuff the hard way because it's not naturally wired in, Homura would probably love a comprehensive breakdown of what all the various lilts and gestures mean in different contexts'.
 
Architect Iront. said:
Got it in one :::: P I'm not exactly trying to hide it.
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Slightly less fresh than me :p
Architect Iront. said:
Already on it, and thank you. When it comes to social 101, body language and tone are lessons one and two. We say entire paragraphs with the way we stand and speak even before we process the words themselves, and speaking as someone who had to learn all this stuff the hard way because it's not naturally wired in, Homura would probably love a comprehensive breakdown of what all the various lilts and gestures mean in different contexts'.
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Can I get this course as well please? Because this would make interacting with people a lot easier.
 
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