Essay-chan desu!
Mami cuddles against your side as soon as you sit down. You smile at her, wrapping an arm around her waist. "Are you alright?" you ask. "You've been a bit quiet."
She takes a shaky breath. "I'm alright," she says. "Just... I realise how much of your time I take up. You do so much good, Sabrina."
"And one of the best things I've done was helping you," you say, smiling at her as you lift off the platform. "So no, there aren't better things I could do with my time than spending it with you, Mami."
That earns you a smile. "Thank you, Sabrina," she says. "I- I'll try and keep it in mind."
Does she really...
Oh, right. I think I knew that at one point. Probably lost it when I got sick.
Fact is, we've never told Mami that we would be staying in Mitakihara with or without her presence. As a result she falsely believes, especially at this point, that we are staying in Mitakihara as opposed to going around and handing out clear seeds
entirely because she is our friend and would implode without our presence (after all, we
know when Walpurgisnacht is happening, we could just come back then). She's improved in other areas enough that the effect is muted, but some part of her truly believes that if she just
didn't exist a bunch more people would be getting helped by Sabrina.
Most of the time she doesn't think about it. But scenes like this... It's something of an existential guilt, and being that she's accustomed to having a positive view on her existence ("because I'm here, people don't get eaten by witches!"), well...
In the end there's only two things we can really do about it. One, we tell her that
no, we wouldn't be running around away from Mitakihara all the time without her existing, and we do it veeeeery carefully because it has a twinned implication of "you're not
that important." Two, we
make her more important (points at theories about ribbon-conductivity). If she ends up playing just as large a part in helping people as we do, well, problem solved.
It's also frankly a rather minimal problem in comparison to the whole "we hadn't told her we liked being with her" thing from before the metabomb. Her loneliness issues are
way worse than her guilt complex. Which, well, it's exactly that that fuels the guilt complex.
"I... Sometimes I think I'm a bad person because I don't want her to leave. Because if she'd leave, she could help so many people."
We can poke that and patch it up if we want. This... Would actually be a good time, or at least a relevant time. And it wouldn't particularly hurt her, either -- no breakdowns from this. But I think it should wait until tonight.