Do you have this plan written down somewhere? I would like to read it.
Mrrrrrrr... Okay, let me start putting this in writing. First drafts like this are always done with "argument by example" style, for me.
Also,
this is a draft. I haven't put the same level of thought into this as I had when I put out the first copy of the metabomb essay. So, unlike that -- which
didn't have holes in it -- this could have issues. It's not even
complete. It's just me putting this out because
you asked. The only thing I'm confident in, here, is that we
can and should tackle the "primary thing" though perhaps not in the format I've laid out, because getting Mami to understand what I have in there is so critical I can't even express in words. Conveying that to her dampens the evil dependency issues considerably, which is invaluable.
Keikaku, at the moment, is pretty general. It boils down to "explain our issues with mamibrina current relationship, then continue being there for Mami" -- improving Mami's understanding of our perception of things is key --
the key, even -- to helping her understand her relationship with us. Fessing up derails, somewhat, maybe. If we decide to do it I'll think about what to change.
> We'll need to talk to Mami and explain to her what her behavior since the lichbomb has made us feel. It
will be a tough conversation. But it needs to happen and I
think it's doable.
> I plan/ned to do this sunday evening when she starts thinking about having to go to school the next day.
-> The only way to do this is to frame things as "what we feel and why," instead of talking about
her actions as the starting point.
!!!-> The primary thing we need to convey is the cycle we're stuck in with her. We like her strong, confident side... We like her for
her. And we want to encourage her to stick to her beliefs and values and, and everything. But we're afraid to make big statements -- even little statements, sometimes -- about it because we don't want to do things that could be manipulative, which is a huge list because... Well, because, she likes her drills, right? What if she heard us say that we like straight-haired girls? How would she feel? And there's even another side to the problem, which is that we
also have to recognize that because she cares so much about us, and therefore about what we think of things, we can't -- rather, we
won't, because we care about
her -- do something callous like telling her that she shouldn't ask us about that.
-> Secondary thing: the issues surrounding + causing cycle
---> Mami's fear
---> Normal social being abusive due to fear as unavoidable leverage
---> Our inhibitive caution
Edit:
please note that I haven't included all justifications and reasoning for this course of action in this post. Many possible comments are things I'm fully aware of. Many others probably are not.