Homura stared at the familiar ceiling.
As usual, it held no answers.
So she lied in bed, unmoving, her eyes tracing patterns across the tiles, because she couldn't bring herself to close them-
No! Why? Were we-
She snapped her eyes open, breathing sharply, but her eyes blurred, and she couldn't help but to think...
I guess we weren't supposed to win after all.
She rubbed the tears away, but more kept on coming.
I'm sorry I ruined everything... No, listen! I can't- I can't let go, so please...
She realized she was muttering to herself to stop, to not think, to not remember, to not feel the crushing void that was left in place of her hopes.
Take care of them for me. And... And remember-
But she couldn't. How, how did she expect her to, to... What could she ever hope to accomplish, when all she had was a string of defeat after defeat after defeat? What did she have-
Remember me!
She groaned and sobbed, a pitiful little compaint that couldn't carry the sheer weight of her... Despair.
Her arms dropped at her sides.
That was right. She didn't have to get up. Not anymore.
Why would she?
She felt her mouth twitch, just a little bit, but maybe it had been her imagination. She couldn't tell, the room seemed to blur around her, and she couldn't tell up from down, nevermind...
She could just stay down, right? Stay, wait, hunger wouldn't come to her, but that didn't mean she could lie down forever.
Her temples pulsed. Her ears filled with insidious whispers, and her blurred vision flashed black and white uselessly.
She could try. If she just stayed put, it might take days, but eventually...
Her body ached, her legs trembled as if under strain, her hands shook...
"Just sign here and here and you're done."
Homura froze. Her senses snapped, bringing the world came into clarity.
The woman sitting behind the desk frowned. "Are you OK?" she asked.
Homura blinked, and with a practiced motion, finished filling her papers. Without though, she dropped the pen, turned around before any further questions could be asked, and walked right out of the hospital, just as she had done so many, many times.
She sat at her apartment, staring at the pendulum.
It went back and forth.
Back and forth.
It repeated the same movement, just as always.
Everything was just as it always had been.
Why was she here, then? She didn't expect things to change, not anymore. She was walking straight into yet another bitter defeat, she knew it. So why had she got up? Why had she made all the same old arrangements and traveled back to this place?
She couldn't tell. For all she could feel, she was doing nothing more than following old steps, moving forward based on... momentun.
She sluggishly stood up. She still had her transfer to finish.
She slowly moved towards the door outside, not intent, but... resigned to keep going.
She almost frowned, looking down at her feet.
A step. Another step. Then another. Another... She felt a shiver down her spine. Something... something bothered her, but she couldn't tell why...
She opened the door, stepped outside, and closed it.
The fresh air hit her like a wave. The people walking around her...
... Ah. She knew. She knew what was bothering her.
If she was only moving forward based on momentum alone... she thought, then it seemed she was running out.
That was fine.
The world moved past her slow as molasses. She couldn't help it, nothing even mattered anymore.
People walked past her, some of them staring, whispering, but she couldn't bring herself to care.
She wasn't sure where she was going, honestly.
Maybe she should've been hunting Kyuubey? It seemed like such a waste of... effort.
She couldn't hurt it after all. Not really. Another thing she just couldn't do...
She stopped. She knew she shouldn't been thinking like that, and maybe there was some feeling left inside her, because...
Where was she? She looked around. Just a random street.
But something about it made her stop and think and... tremble.
She knew where she was. It was where she had first met her.
She walked purposefully, her mind clear for the first time in many days. She hadn't been there, but she knew the alley where they had found her. Just there, she could see it. She turned the corner and...
Empty. It was empty. Just... trashcans.
There was nobody in there. Of course not.
She moved on. A familiar fog started to settle around her mind once more. She could feel herself growing weary, tired, and she couldn't bring herself to even care. It was better that way.
She shouldn't have looked. Why would she? It wasn't even the same day she had been there last time. She hadn't hoped, but there had been something, she had let some feeling twinge in her chest, expecting to see a familiar pair of blue eyes crowned in that distinct white hair.
She shook her head, trying to erase the image from her mind.
But she couldn't. She had been her hope last time. She had promised so much... and failed. Gone. Gone and taken her last remaining hopes along with her...
Maybe if she could forget. If she could stop seeing her in front of...
Homura's eyes widened.
She wasn't imagining things.
Her mouth fell open.
It wasn't a phantom summoned from her mind.
She tried to call-
Those very familiar blue eyes fell on her, staring her with the same kindness she had come to expect. She walked towards her, and she could hear her calling her name -'Hey, Homura-chan'- before she even-
She looked away, not a trace of recognition on her features.
Homura stood dumbfounded.
Taller than the few men walking around her, kind deep blue eyes, white hair down to her shoulders, with two bangs framing her face... Sabrina just walked past her as if a complete stranger.
She reached out.
"Hm?"
Homura stood still under her... under the girl's questioning -nervous?- stare.
She let go of her as if burned, flinching back a step. It wasn't her.
She shook, she couldn't help it, she shouldn't have tried... she couldn't bring herself to keep losing-
A hand rested lightly on her arm, not quite grabbing at her.
She hid her flinch this time.
"Hey..." she heard the concern in her voice, as she had so many times, "are you OK? If you confused me for someone, it's fine, no need to..."
Her vision blurred. She couldn't help it. It was her, her voice, her same way of caring when nobody else would, without good reason.
"D-don't cry!" Sabrina startled, "It's OK, I-I... Ah-"
Homura hugged her. She grabbed on tight as she had painfully learned to do, and let herself cry.
Sabrina awkwardly held the strange girl, perplexed.
"So... I really would've had all those powers?"
Homura nodded.
"Uh..." Sabrina scratched her head. "Sounds... cool, I guess?" she shrugged, uncertain.
The violet haired girl scoffed. "It was..." she muttered, "much more than that."
Her companion shook her head across the cafe table. "Well, I'm sorry I can't help you. I really would, if I could do all these things you're saying..."
Homura's shoulders fell.
"Ah!" Sabrina panicked slightly, "maybe I could make a contract? Even if I wasn't that strong... If there's something threatening the entire city, I can't just stay and watch, can I?" she finished with a confident smile.
'She doesn't have the potential to Wish.'
Homura watched as Kyuubey jumped on the table.
Sabrina kept staring at her, waiting on an answer.
She couldn't see the Incubator.
Homura's heart plummeted. Or fell as much as she had dared to raise it, anyway.
"Just..." her voice wavered, "just," she didn't know what to say, "I- you-" she stopped.
The white haired girl frowned, worried.
Worried. Worried and clearly trying to say something that'd help.
"Can I have your number?" asked Homura suddenly.
How strange.
She could remember this, even though she hadn't planned for it to happen this way.
The same way as last time, despite all the differences.
Her hand came up to catch the thrown Grief Seed.
Clack.
"I won't be needing this one, so you may have it," Mami tried to sound confident.
Homura stepped into the light.
Sayaka immediately put herself in between Madoka and herself, suspicious as usual...But she couldn't bring herself to dismiss her, not like she had done so many times...
Something must have flashed in her features, because the blue haired girl shifted, less angry and more... confused?
Homura shook her head, turning back to the other Magical Girl.
She could hear an echo of a warning. Not the exact words, but...
She nodded, pocketing the Grief Seed and turning to go-
"Do you want hunt together, tonight?" she asked over her shoulder before realizing what she was doing.
Mami's eyes widened for a second, before she regained her usual composture.
"Sure, that sounds great!"
"... -sounds like it went well! Good job! Do you have anything planned? Listen, I was thinking if you could get some enchanted string and tie it to your misiles-"
Homura nodded along, even though her friend wouldn't be able to see it over the phone.
A breeze swept through her hair.
Homura gulped, but approached the group nonetheless.
They looked up.
She spared a nod for the blue and green girls, before focusing on the one that mattered the most...
"... Can I sit with you?" she asked before she could lose her nerve.
Madoka blinked, before smiling.
"Sure!"
