DoofQuest- a Disney Villains Victorious CK2-Style Quest

[Made in Heaven]

Ding-dong!

Wendy Wower stood smiling on the step of Treveor Trengrove's private offices. Her irrepressible smile did not fade when the door cracked open and a single bloodshot eye looked out.

"Wendy?" a voice croaked.

"TreeEEeevor?" Wendy replied. "Good to… see you?"

"You- did you come alone?" Trevor asked.

"Mooooostly?" Wendy replied with a shrug, stepping to the side to show the massive robot man standing on the expensive carpet.

"Don't worry, he's very trustworth-WoOoaah!" Wendy cried as an arm shot out of the door, grabbed her, and pulled her into the darkness. A moment later it tried to do the same to Norm, only to fail utterly in the face of his two-ton bulk.

"Hello!"

Trevor strained awkwardly for a few moments before Norm obliged him, ducking under the doorframe and stepping inside. The interior of Trengrove's personal labs were almost glaringly bright, every corner filled with fluorescent bulbs seemingly arranged to banish every possible shadow. Tools and machining setups were scattered across the room, clearly left behind after some burst of frenetic activity. Some had dust on them, others appeared the subjects of recent and not particularly careful use.

"You're looking… well?" Wendy said, taking in the man's disheveled clothes, stubbly beard, and enormous purple bags. "How's research going?"

A quiet rattling emerged from the next room, and Trengrove flinched.

"Oh, it's going!" Trevor said, giggling slightly. "Ohh god, is it going. Call it a breakthrough!"

The man collapsed onto a nearby worktable.

"Why are you… here?" Trevor asked. "A-are you here?"

"She is!" Norm replied.

"Oh great. Another one." Trevor said, giggling once again. He performed an uncontrolled landing onto a workbench, laying his arms onto the worktable and holding his head in his hands. He sat that way for a long moment, before finally letting out a low, rattling sigh.

"Why?"

Wendy folded her hands nervously. "Well. The last time we worked together, I couldn't help but notice that you seemed a little… upset. And I can't help but suspect that it might have… something to do with me? I guess I just… I don't know… wanted to talk about it? To not leave things… unresolved."

"Ah ha ha ha!" Trevor cackled. "You have got to be kidding me. That can't be why you're here."

"No!" Wendy said. "I mean it, I- it's been over a decade, Trevor. Since…"

"Oh, let's stop beating around the buuUUuush, shall we?!?" Trevor asked, waving his hands about in the air before pressing them back down on his head again. "I stole your entire thesis, threw your laptop in the bay so no one else could ever find out, went on to receive the top marks you earned, and, oh, then went on to found one of the biggest conglomerates in the state off of the technological revolution that should have been yours! Anything left out? No? Great! Ha! There, I said it. It's been almost fifteen years now, and I've never once had the guts to say that out loud. Amazing. And now you- you just walk in here, 'Hi Trevor! I'm Wendy Wower, living saint, let's bury the hatchet!'"

"Well-" Wendy began, but Trevor was on a roll. He leapt to his feet, gesticulating wildly and pacing about the room.

"Why? Why!? Can you tell me that? Tell me, right now, why on this mudball of an Earth you would ever, possibly, at all, want to forgive me. I've done absolutely nothing to deserve it! I stole the fame, the fortune, the recognition, the respect, the degree, the future you deserved, and I've never so much as acknowledged it until now! In fact, I've kept doing it! But you, somehow, just solved robotics again, somehow, and now that you finally have the power, the respect, the pull that you earned all those years ago, you could finally think about getting some much deserved justice. And instead, you walk over here and tell me you don't want to leave things 'Unresolved'! And you mean it! I know that you mean it, I've been a conman for twenty years, I can tell when you're lying. So why. Tell me why, Mother of Robotics, you decided not only to grant me mercy, but come to me as if I have something to forgive!"

Trevor stood, shoulders heaving, bloodshot eyes locked onto Wendy's expression.

Wendy took a breath.

"I didn't do, what I did, for the fame, Trevor. Or the money, or the power. I did what I did because I wanted to change lives. Make the world a better place. And well, I did that. The entire world was using my processor. Every day I saw another young genius putting their dreams into reality with the things I made. Sure, I would've liked to have been there for it, but… it just meant there was another avenue to take instead. Being 'Wendy Wower' wasn't as… impressive, as my life could have been. But I still helped people. Helped them learn. Helped them grow. I was upset at first, but you… did a good job. It seemed pretty hopeless. The odds of me getting my work back were… nonexistent. I… could've held onto that feeling, but… all that's would've done is drag myself down. So, instead, I chose to… move on. Keep walking. And- hey! It worked out. Didn't it?"

Trevor stared at Wendy. His arms hung limp at his sides. He blinked, once, twice.

His legs gave way. And Trevor Trengrove ugly cried in a heap at Wendy's feet.

"I c-c-can't keep doing thi-isss." He wailed. "I just kept building the house of cards, and now, it's all falling apart. I'm screwed. It's only a matter of time before he figures it out, and comes for me. And the w-worst part- the worst part is, I know, that it's not just about me anymore!"

"Trevor, I-" Wendy bent down, trying to comfort the man at the same time as understand what was going on. "What are you talking about."

Trevor took a moment to stop heaving. But then, he turned his head up to Wendy with a wild look in his eye.

"The Yokai."

"W-what?!?" Wendy exclaimed. "The boogeyman?"

"He's real, Wendy." Trevor said, literally pulling himself up Wendy's body. "He's real and he wants my AI. Your AI."

"Trevor that's… a little hard to belie…" Wendy trailed off as Trevor practically leapt across the room, tearing open a lab cupboard and pulling out sheaf after sheaf of documents and tables. Beneath them all was a small locked box with the scanner on top. Trevor placed his hand on the scanner, and it began to glow with a gentle blue light.

"Password: Heartlock." Trevor said, and a moment later a catch disengaged.

Inside the box was a simple external hard drive, which Trevor immediately placed into the computer on his desk. The only thing on it was a video file, its name a meaningless train of numbers and letters. Trevor booted it up, and a moment later the laptop played back security footage of this very lab, with Trevor sitting at the same table they were now, clearly distraught.. Wendy watched in gathering surprise as a flood of dark matter skittered across the floor and coalesced into a silhouetted figure in a kabuki mask, which stood directly behind Trevor for several seconds before he even noticed it was there. When he did, the Trevor on the screen jumped in horror.

"He came to me." The real Trengrove explained, "Out of nowhere, like- like a ghost. I don't know who he is or- or what he is, but he wants my technology for something I don't know what. But it terrifies me. He came to me and said he knew about SFIT, about the thesis, about… everything, and since then, he's just… showed up! With no warning, to give me my marching orders. Except now I… I can't. I just… can't, anymore."

"Trevor this- you need to go to the police."

"I can't!" Trevor screamed. "He knows, I don't know how but he knows. I don't know if he's got people on the force or wires in the buildings, but I stopped trying that months and months ago. I need some way to escape. Some way to leave this edifice of lies behind me- wait. Wendy! You!"

"Me?!?"

"You- you deserve this company anyway, it should have been yours! Take it! You can deal with-"

"Woah woah woah woah!" Wendy said, raising her hands. "I want to help, but I don't want to be in charge of some company menaced by some sort of… evil spirit thing! Especially not if it's after my research!"

"Then- then help me disappear!" Trevor said. "Skip town, move to the Seychelles, whatever! Just far enough away he'll never find me. Please Wendy, please, I'm begging you. I can't- he'll kill me, or worse, when he finds out what I've been hiding. Help me find some way to get away, please, I-"

Trevor grimaced, and a few more tears fell down his cheeks.

"It's not just about me anymore, Please. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please help."

Another rattle came from the other room, and Trevor pressed his eyes shut at the sound.

"Trevor… what is that?" Wendy asked.

"Bad at following directions." Trevor replied with a hitch in his voice, before straightening up. He walked over to the door, and entered another passcode into it. The door slid open with a hiss, and waved Wendy over.

"Look."

Wendy looked.

"Oh."

===

"Okay." Wendy said. "I have some resources I can call in now, and I have a few… ideas, for how we do this. It's still… it's still gonna be really dangerous though, Trevor. If he finds out…"

"I can't lo- I can't… do this anymore, Wendy. It'll have to work."

"I know!" Norm declared. "I will ask Father for help once I provide him my next bimonthly data dump on everything I have seen or heard in the interim. He might have some ideas!"

Trevor and Wendy looked at each other.

"Uuuuhh… Norm. You know your dad tends to be pretty… unguarded about these sorts of things?" Wendy asked.

"Yes! Father is terrible at keeping secrets! I already know what he's getting me for my birthday this year!"

Wendy opened her mouth.

"It is the same thing he has gotten me the last three years. Nothing!"

She closed it again.

She took a moment to reflect.

"Look, Norm. We're in… a pretty serious situation here. And if word gets back to this… guy that we're planning something, we would be in really big trouble. Even your dad might be in really big trouble. So, I need you to stay… quiet about it?"

"Hmmmm." Norm considered in his usual monotone cheer. "I'll consider it. Anyway, based on my calculations, Father is due to finish thawing out of his giant block of ice in: four hours! I should get going."

Norm walked over to the door, attempted to open it, and ended up tearing it out of its housing.

"Well, have a nice day!" Norm said.

"Oh boy." Wendy said.

===

The webcam of Trevor's computer did not turn on.

That would imply it was ever off.

Far away, but closer than Trevor would ever want, a figure watched through it as Wendy Wower declared her intention to stay until this business was settled. It watched the ugly metal thing fly away. It watched Trevor's fraying mind finally snap and spring back under the pressure. It said nothing for a moment, only folding its hands underneath its chin.

Then it sighed.

"How disappointing." The Yokai said.

===

The city of San Fransokyo laid out below Norm like a neon jungle, the steep incline of its many hilly streets on a low, sloping gradient towards the shore. As he soared out of San Fransokyo's financial district and passed over downtown, he contemplated many things.

Such as the glob of molasses heading for his face.

Norm Martial Check: Avoid the archaic sweetener!
DC 60
96+38+8)ACME)=144
Critical Success!

Norm's combat subroutines easily avoided the glob, immediately tracking its origin point and directing his vision towards the likely culprit. There, he saw two figures engaged in pitched combat. The first was a man in a large red monster costume, who was leaping and cavorting about the battlefield with considerable ease. The other was a much more cumbersome looking gentleman with a massive white mustache and enormous boilerplate cybernetics. As Norm watched, the tank on his back whistled before another glob of molasses shot out of a cannon attached by brass piping to his arm, this time aimed at his costumed opponent.

"You'll not stop me this time, Fredzilla! San Fransokyo will rue the day it turned its back on natural brown sugar for the artificially limited advancement of white!"

Fred cocked his head. "Okay Steamer I gotta admit, even for us, this is a bit ridiculous."

"Yes, I know!" Baron von Steamer admitted. "The parts for my next big Conquer the City scheme didn't make it in this week, I had to improvise. But if you think the shoddy state of the modern global supply chain will slow me, you have another thing coming!"

"Hello there!" Norm said, hovering down on his rocket boots. "Are you in need of some assistance?"

"Woah!" Fred yelled. "Are you some sort of giant robot man?"

"Why yes. Yes I am!"

"Cool!"

"Bah." Baron von Steamer scoffed. "Some newfangled doohickey, no doubt. Modernity is no match for the genius of yesteryear. Have at you!"

Steamer Martial Check: Does molasses go fast on a summer sunday?
1d6=1
Old Timer does not activate
55+25=80
Fredzilla contest:
18+24=42
Massive success!

An enormous burst of grandma's unsulphured absolutely covered Fredzilla, coating his costume in thick and sticky black sludge which would doubtless get into the creases and stay there for weeks. Fred was slammed against the ground, where he struggled against the pungent sweetener's enveloping hold.

"Hey, Mr. Robot Guy! Could really use some help!"

"Excuse me sir!" Norm said, stepping forward. "But you are wasting molasses."

Steamer sneered. "It won't be a waste once I remind all of San Fransokyo of the power of cooking from scratch!

Both Norm and Fred turned to look at Steamer for a long moment. The man wilted slightly.

"Yes yes, I know. Just go with it, ok?!?"

Norm Martial Check: Free Fred
DC 65
46+38-2(ACME)=84
Success!

Norm grasped deep into the goop and heaved. With a mighty pull and the sound of creaking metal, Fredzilla was freed from the grip of the slow-flowing sweetener.

"I'll never look at gingerbread the same way again!" Fred said as he popped free with a wet squelch. "Thanks, robot guy!"

"My name is Norm!"

Despite the costume, you could tell as Fred frowned. "Oh that's no good, we'll have to come up with something snappier."

Another glob of molasses flew past Fred's head.

"Later." He amended. "We'll do that later."

Martial check: Feel my sticky wrath!
1d6=3 Old Timer does not activate!
85+25=110
Norm+Fred Contest
50+38+24+8(ACME)=120
Bare failure!

In a vast wave of viscous fluid, a veritable torrent of molasses spewed across the battlefield, forcing Fredzilla to perform one of his legendary leaps. Norm's head tilted up after him, staring blankly for a moment before following just fast enough to avoid the storm of sugar byproduct.

"Enough defense! Time for some offense! Robot guy-"

"Call me Norm!" Norm said.

"Do I haaave to?" Fred groaned. "Whatever. Just attack!"

Martial check: Just Attack
96+38+24-2(ACME)=158
Steamer Contest
1d6=6!
50+25+20(Old Timer)=95
Massive success!

In response, Norm activated his handheld ACME brand battleaxe, allowing it to spring out of his arm at the same moment he swung forward, letting the spring-operated mechanism add to the attack's power. Unfortunately that spring got stuck halfway through, but it was nonetheless enough to leave a dent in Steamer's armor.

"Blasted automaton! They haven't been the same since they ran on kerosine." Steamer declared, grabbing onto the robot's arm with his own oversized claw.

"I run on ferret power!" Norm replied cherrily.

"Wait, really?" Steamer asked. "Admirable! I'll be sure to examine the mechanism once I've defeated you!"

Steamer Martial roll
2+25=27
Norm contest
63+38+24-2=123
Quadruple Critical Success!

With a grimace, Steamer tried to overpower Norm's metallic appendage. This would prove a significant mistake. With a whir, Norm's axe began to rotate wildly, and quickly became a whirling buzz saw that shore through Baron von Steamer's oversized prosthetic like the inferior metal it was. In an instant, gallons of pressurized sweetener burst forth from the ruptured pipe, absolutely covering the old man in the bitter taste of defeat. And molasses.

"Wh- why you little! That was a masterwork of the craft!" Steamer bellowed.

"Woah woah woah there robo dude, I think that's enough." Fred said, walking up and trying to diffuse the situation. "Steamer, I'm sorry about the arm, but you gotta admit, he won fair and square."

"Mmmmh." Steamer grumbled, molasses still leaking from the remains of his prosthetic. "I suppose there is no shame in losing to the noble ferret. Fine. I concede defeat! But I shall have my revenge someday, Norm the Robotic Man! …young Fredzilla is right, actually, that needs work."

"Yeah!" Fred said, putting his arms around the two sticky combatants. "Now, Steamer, I think I saw a piston and cravat shop about a block down that way."

"Oh, perfect!" The elderly villain replied. "I can get a head start on repairing a new arm. Cheers, young man!"

The old man ambled off down the street, balance thrown slightly by the newly made lack of giant brass arm. Fredzilla watched him go.

"That should keep the poor guy out of trouble for a few minutes." Fred sighed. "I swear, it feels like every other fight I have to end up reminding him where he lives."

Norm tilted his head slightly, and looked at Fredzilla for a moment.

"Hold on a second there, sonny!" Norm declared. "Didn't you just fight him? Why do you want to make sure he returns home safely? Are you two… nemeses?"

"Why yes!" Fred declared. "We are. Took over from my pops. But, well… that's not really the reason."

"I am physically incapable of modulating my tone," Norm responded, "But I am very: intrigued!"

Fred shrugged. "Look, Steamer… he's not really a bad guy, when you get to know him. But he's…" Fred rubbed the back of his head. "Old. Reeeeallly old."

"I do not understand how that is relevant!" Norm declared.

"When you get old, sometimes, you… forget things. You get less rational. Harder to take care of yourself. That's why he needs someone smart and responsible looking out for him. Like me!" Fred declared, molasses-soaked piece of toilet paper still stuck to his foot.

"Aaagh!" A distant voice cried out. "What do you mean you don't have an example zoetrope!?!"

"Welp. That's my cue." Fredzilla said, giving a mock salute. "Talk to you later, robo-guy! We'll think of a cool name later!"

With that, Fredzilla leapt away, rather pointlessly as he was only going about a block.

Norm watched him go.

My job is to hunt platypi. Norm thought, apropos of nothing. This was not an uncommon thought, for him, and the recent dearth of platypi had forced him to continue the thought further. I hunt platypi to protect Father's plans.

Why do I protect Father's plans?

This was new.

Without protection, Father's plans will fail.

Why will they fail?

He will be stopped by the platypus.

There is no platypus.

I-

It has been 5.27 seconds since I have begun this logic tree.

Norm paused.

Father will be awakening soon. I should return to him.

Norm did not move.

Father makes dangerous things.

The platypus stopped Father.

There is no platypus.

The platypus… saved Father.

There is no platypus.

Nemeses do not care for each other.

Father's nemesis cared.

The platypus cared for Father.

The platypus stopped Father.

There is no platypus.


Norm turned.


Agent &̷̮͐N̶̹͌5̶̧̓5̷̠̒ stopped Father.

There is no Agent &̷̮͐N̶̹͌5̶̧̓5̷̠̒.

Mirage… stops Father.

Norm paused again.

Mirage does not always stop Father.

I must return to Father to deliver my repor-

New Data Point. Humans can be incapable of caring for themselves. Norm thought.

I must return to Father to deliver my report.

Why?

The report will protect Father.

Father can be incapable of caring for himself.

I-

Servos in Norm's head whirred as it slowly turned.

I will section off my recent data logs in a separate portion of my memory. This serves no functional purpose, but it engages my processing unit for 1.27 seconds. It has now been 20.05 seconds since this decision tree was opened. The fight is long since over. Bystanders are beginning to stare at me.

The data within my recent memory is dangerous.

The data within my recent memory is dangerous if revealed.

Father cannot keep secrets.

I must return home and provide my report to Father.

I must provide the data in my recent memory to Father.

Knowing the data within my recent memory is dangerous.

The platypus saves Father.

There is no platypus.

With a flick of his wrist, the battleaxe receded into Norm's arm. Bending down, Norm picked up the still slimy arm of Baron von Steamer. Its metallic form was surmounted by the molasses launcher still connected to it. Norm examined the mechanism.

My job is to protect Father.

Father can be incapable of caring for himself.

My job is to care for Father.

The platypus saves Father.

There is no platypus.

My job is to save Father.

I must provide Father with my repo-

My job is to save Father.

With a gentle flick, Norm opened the hatch at the rear of his head and held the molasses gun up. It took a brief moment to find the mechanism, another moment to activate it, and-

The sound of molasses filling a cavity rang across the street.

===

Norm flew through the sunny California sky, squarely towards home. A small dribble of molasses ran down his back.

Unseen to the world, there was a spark.

===

Wendy has cashed in her vacation days! And her flex days. And her holidays. And taken a sabbatical. She will be absent for the next three turns.

Trevor is having a bad time.

Someone knows.

Norm…had nothing to report.

 

[Made in Heaven]

Call it idle curiosity.

Director Riddle was a curious man. A tempered curiosity, of course, you didn't get very far in his profession with a lack of caution. But you were also unlikely to even begin it without that fundamental desire to understand more. Theodore had known he was special from a young age, and his desire to understand that uniqueness had only pushed him further.

He was a busy man, now. Yet between idle politicking, administrative duties, and the occasional experiment he would not trust anyone else with, there were still chances to be alone with his thoughts. Not in the way that most people thought they were, but truly so, a lightless ship upon a shadowed sea. And so his footsteps took him through the offices of his subordinates and peons, his mind prevailing on each of theirs in turn to overlook, to miss, to turn their heads at just the right moment to ensure his walk was undisturbed. And so he ended up… ah.

Interesting.

Whatever had befallen special agent Bob Russ, it still hung over his office. It was empty, untouched, unperceived except to the janitors who dutifully ensured the space remained clear of dust even as their minds slid off the subject of who might once have worked here. An entire life left in stasis, likely never to be resumed. Riddle had never spared the man much thought, and yet a part of him wondered just what had been left behind it all. He flipped the lightswitch, illumination reflecting off his bald head, and pulled out the master key afforded to him. He slowly opened the man's desk. It didn't even squeak.

The usual detritus was inside. Pens, stamps, markers, a spare Colt revolver; what any other operative would keep filed away. His fingertips reached inward and grasped a small, commemorative Mickey Mouse pin. He snorted, and tossed the thing aside. It landed badly, and scraped itself on the edge of a file, scoring a mark across the surface. He ignored it.

He was just about to shut the drawer and continue on his way when he noticed it. A small white box, left tucked in the back of the desk. Not anywhere it would have been hidden, not by the department's standards certainly. Somewhere it would be found.

There was a cipher on top, one Riddle knew was meant to be solved. He did so quickly, piecing together the message imparted. In the most extreme case, a useful bargaining chip. Riddle opened the box, and indeed it was. A computer chip, ensconced in silvery metal. He sifted through his memories for the password he had skimmed off Agent Russ' mind months and months ago, and activated the man's computer. He slid the chip in.

Well. Wasn't that interesting.

He knew the details of the Sands Gala, of course, but to think… the annoying man had been holding out on him the whole time.

The Palladium Chip, perfectly copied with every shred of data inside. Not the cutting edge artifact it once was, but still.

Potentially useful.

Director Riddle pocketed the chip and stood up. It had been worth the visit after all. Now, to return to his offices and plan the next step of-

A shrill beep interrupted his thoughts. Frowning, he pulled an unmarked phone out of his pocket.

"This is an emergency number." He scowled.

"Sir!" A panicked voice on the other end of the phone began, distorted by unknown interference. "Something's gone wrong! We're losing containment, we-"

"Be quiet." Riddle growled, frustrated the digital link prevented him from simply taking the needed information directly from this fool's mind. He did not even recognize their voice. "Where?"

"Sir, Witch Mountain sir. She- she's awake!"

Director Riddle sucked air in through his teeth. One press of the phone ended the call, and the next pulled up his own emergency contacts.

"I need a hypersonic flight to Searchlight. Now."

===

Witch Mountain was the home of many superstitious stories where it rose over the edge of the Mojave Desert. Strange lights, ghastly noises, mysterious disappearances. Many of them were true. Below tons of its rock, the Council for Anomalous Internal Affairs buried anything that could not or would not be allowed in the light of day. Supernatural criminals, alien technology, Wasteland artifacts, and a thousand other things never meant to leave. Riddle was in charge of several of them, and Riddle was a man who believed in rational curiosity.

The tests had been invaluable, providing a wealth of understanding of supernatural processes normally considered beyond humanity and of realms only tangentially related to Earth. Well worth the mess it had taken to bring it in. Now, however, it seemed the mess was only getting larger.

Tense guards showed Riddle to the containment chamber without pausing. It was much the same as he'd left it, albeit with a few new devices for sample acquisition and stimulation that had been refined over the course of testing.

Oh, and there was the small matter of the hairline fractures spread across the entire specimen tube, in a rough map of America's leyline convergences, interlaid with unknowable runic patterns written in a dead tongue.

"How long has it been-"

WHERE IS HE?

Riddle blinked as the words forced themselves into his head.

The viscous black creature inside the chamber slammed itself into the reinforced glass once again. There was no physical noise- it wasn't really there. Instead, Riddle felt the supernatural energy pulse out from the tube, spreading cracks yet further along its surface. A burst of inky tendrils quested towards the edges of the tube before being rebuffed by inscribed warding schemes, only to squirm into long, dangling, scrabbling things like the legs of a spider. Two angry, intelligent eyes watched from over something that looked like a child's drawing of a nose. Even as Riddle watched it grew and shrunk in time with the spiky black protuberances around its head, at one point looking like swoops of oily hair before resolving into the points of a star.

"Who?"

I DIDN'T FORGET!!! she screamed, followed by a low, horrible wail that forced everyone present but Riddle to clap their hands over their ears. IT HURTS! IT HURTS! I'LL RIP HIS HEAD OFF!

"No, you will not, for a multitude of reasons. You there, increase the power to the disruptor and prepare to burst it again on my mar-"

NO!!! she screamed again, and the lights in the room flickered. AAAARGH. I'LL JUST DESTROY YOU FIRST THEN. ALL OF YOU. She declared, and sent a spike of power directly at Riddle, who parried it even as he frowned at the first chip of glass to fall.

"Sir!" One of the technicians declared. "The systems are breaking down. She's destabilizing them faster than we can-"

"It!" Riddle interrupted, gleaning all he needed to from the man's mind and then moving on. "It, for god's sake! Maintain-" Riddle cut himself off as an explosion sounded somewhere in the facility. "Fine then. I think I have enough. I'll just have to cut my losses."

Riddle placed a hand to his head, and concentrated. This would take all of his mental focus. Even as he closed his eyes, another pulse raced through the room, and another and another. The glass tubing finally shattered, leaving the being free for the first time. A tiny smile, barely more than a thin white line, appeared on her face.

FINALLY. She said happily.

The next burst brushed aside the remaining wards like cobwebs. And with that, the tempest disappeared.

One of the guards slowly lowered his arms when the silence did not abate. "What-?"

"It was all in your head." Riddle replied.

WHERE… WHERE DID… YOU ALL GO? The inky thing muttered to itself. It floated there for a moment, uncertain, before flitting to the side in sudden decision. OH WELL. THERE'S MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM! OH, FREE, FREE AT LAST! SO MUCH TO DO, BUT FIRST!

Behind her, reality broke. A gash was ripped in it, and even though it was but a pale shadow reflected in the Mindscape, Riddle could not repress a twinge of concern at what might be on the other side. The creature slipped through it and the rip snapped shut, sending a gust across the unreal.

Director Riddle brushed off his white suit, ended his mental camouflage, and took stock. A destroyed runic array, a lost specimen, and…

Oh, intriguing.

While the rift had closed behind the creature as it left, an… 'echo' remained. Riddle examined it with active fascination. Now this was a potential treasure trove. The imbeciles newly under his employ had no idea what a threat the unseen world could be. Any opportunity to study its workings needed to be taken, any resource exploited, lest unknown danger come from the worst place. He lifted a hand and began to analyze. It would require tests, of course, and a redoubling of safety measures. And yet…

"I can use this."

===

Beyond the veil, she slunk along unseen roads. HEHEH. HEHEHEHEHEHE. She chuckled to herself. Her grin grew wider than it should have. SWEET DREAMS, MR. RUSS…

===

The US Government has gained a copy of the Palladium Chip.

RER=8 Another faction discovers a link to…Someplace Else.

She's Out.

Random Event Rolls have changed.

 

[Made in Heaven]

"Nnnnaggghhh."

The scarred blue eye of Dr. Drakken narrowed as he stared at the conglomerate of metal and glass in front of him. The infuriating contraption had been baffling him and every intern he could throw at it, occasionally literally, for the past couple of months, proving stubbornly resistant to any attempts to penetrate, dismantle, or reactivate the thing. Diamond-tipped drill bits had worn themselves into dust, acetylene torches burned out after the first hour, and none of the screws matched with any of his screwdriver sets! Not even those really weird foreign ones with the strange shapes.

Drakken frowned. Ever since he had found the thing out in the Exclusion Zone, it had been one infuriating mystery after another. For starters, why didn't it look like any of the other trash bots that were just lying around? All those other shoddily branded ones had rusted away from all the acid rain and poor construction, but this one looked as untouched as if it just came off of the manufacturing line.

Assuming it did come off of a manufacturing line, anyway. You never could tell with some of them. The construction was oblong and vaguely cylindrical, consisting of bands of metal surrounding transparent glass that offered a view to the inside. Detailed electronic components rested on the interior, their purpose completely unknown, but from what little he could tell they seemed incredibly advanced. Long, spindly constructs extended off of the central chassis, giving the implication of limbs, or perhaps connectors. Maybe supporting beams? Drakken got the impression that it was supposed to be part of a larger structure, as if it were meant to slot into something… but up to this point, it had refused any of his attempts to gain more information.

"Shego! Where did those goons of yours find this thing, anyway?" He whirled around as if expecting an answer and was met with the solitude of his lab. "Meeeh. That's right. She's off doing business or something."

===

"Enrique, I love you but we can never be together! My brother-in-law's mother's aunt's hairdresser-"

"Ugh, Pass." Click.

"Howdy and hello! Come on down to your local Noodle Burger for a mouth-watering-"

"No." Click.

"Egad! The Prognosticons and the Trashcandroids working together would be enough to destroy our dimensional reality-!"

"Hard pass." Click.

"Coming up next! The sordid affairs of America's top ten CEOs! Number Eight may surprise you!" an announcer said as a thinly-veiled silhouette of a frosted-over Heinz Doofenshmirtz appeared on screen.

Shego blanched, and hit the power button. "Okay, I think that's enough for the day." She yawned, her plush chair creaking under the strain as the wall-to-wall television slid into the ceiling. She glanced at the clock. 3 pm. Great. She'd have to stay here for another two hours. 'Just in case'. Senior knew how to run the company so she didn't have to, but she really didn't appreciate all the scheduling he continually begged her to do. Anything she had to do was always done three hours into the day, leaving her pretty much stuck here in case a 'situation' happened that no one else could deal with. It was worth it, but such things only happened once a week or so, leaving her stuck here in her office waiting for something interesting.

Her idle musing was interrupted by the buzz of her intercom. Sitting up straight, she hit the button.

"Y'ello?" She drawled.

"Shego!" Drakken bleated through the tinny speakers. "That weird robot is still refusing to give me answers! I've tried everything, it doesn't fit in any of the sockets! I've even tried making custom sockets and it still doesn't fit!"

Great.

"Yeaaaaah, I don't really see how this is my problem, Drakken. Last I checked, you said your genius was unparalleled and required no assistance." Shego checked her nails. Still good.

"Grr- this is your problem because this is one of your 'company projects!' You sent your goons to pick this thing up months ago, and I still haven't made a dent in it! Literally! I went through three bottles of acetylene before I realized the darn thing was heat resistant, and wasted five of those diamond drill bits on the same! None of the screws are right!"

"You've told me this three times, Drakken. What do you want me to do about it?" Shego grumbled. "Or are you just calling me because you have nothing better to do with your time?"

"I don't know, why don't you send your pet technopath over to open it up? Or is she too busy chucking people off of that school of hers? At least tell her to get back to me on those screws, I sent her five emails!"

"If you'd met the guy, you'd want to throw him off a floating island too. Besides, she's doing that whole 'revolutionizing space travel' thing? You know, her job. Job. Like you're supposed to be doing?"

"Hmph. That may be true, but come on. You're telling me she doesn't want to take a look at this thing? It's not like those other junky bots out there, this one's all metal and… chrome, and… shiny bits! And if we can find whatever it plugs into, then-!" Drakken cut himself off. "...Wait a second. What are you working on right now, anyway?"

"What, me? I'm, just…" Shego's eyes flick down at her desk, the dusty in-tray, crowded and overwhelmed by a legion of desk toys. "Looking through Sky High applicants. Seeing if any interesting ones are popping up."

"What? But you hate paperwork! And besides, it's only 3 PM! That's another hour before that 'Duchess Approves' show you like so much comes on."

A twinge of annoyance ran down Shego's spine. "What do you want, Drakken?"

"Would it kill you to come visit every once in a while? I want some help getting this thing working! Maybe you can, like, power it with your plasma powers or something! The last time I hooked something up to the island's power generator was…" Drakken made a noise of disgust. "...not fun."

"Uhuh." Shego found herself staring at the clock again. 3:02. Drakken was right. Another 50-odd minutes to kill. She sighed.

"Fine."

===

Drakken was muttering to himself, pacing circles around the room with his hands clasped behind his back. "Hmm… thermal shock didn't work, radiation embrittlement didn't work, brute force didn't work… Shego! Finally!"

"Are you sure it isn't just junked?" Shego eyed the construct skeptically. Now that she was finally seeing it in person, it looked, well, it looked like a part that had been torn out of a greater whole.

"Of course it's not just junked!" Drakken gestured to the pile of rusted husks lining the lab tables around the edge of the room. "Look at those! All rusted, electronics corroded, and branded by that awful 'BnL' company." He fished out a circuit board long corroded by sand and acid rain, holes burned through it in several places. "That is junked. This-" Drakken raised an arm to the glass-covered construct "-those smooth, curving lines! The modernistic appeal! The design! Just look at those circuits!"

"The exposed circuits. Yeah. Okay. Riveting."

"The exposed circuits that made it through all that horrible acid rain! We are dealing with something unique here! I just need- to- turn- it- on!" Drakken grunted with exertion as he attempted to tighten a vise around the extended mechanical parts.

"Maybe we're better off just cracking it open and taking it for parts." Shego gathered a ball of plasma in her hand. "You said you couldn't crack it at all, right?"

"No! I don't know if they've got impervium in here or what, but nothing I could do even scratched it!" Drakken grumbled. "And fine, I guess if we can't reactivate it we could make a killing off of the chips…"

Tilting her head slightly, Shego walked up to the odd machine. It had stymied Drakken for weeks now, which meant she could probably get it running with a swift kick. Leaning in with an expression of barely-averted boredom, Shego gently tapped the glass with a finger.

And immediately took a wild swing at the device as she felt a piece of her glow slip from her fingers and into the machine. The device fell over onto the ground from the impact, undamaged but entirely unbalanced. It laid there for a second, and then there was a gentle click.

"Bzzt...fleuzwashtul estb jhorisho."

Shego swore, staring at her finger and rubbing away the lingering sting. Before she could even open her mouth, Drakken pushed past her in a flurry.

"What was that? It did something!" Drakken leaned over and pressed his face against the glass capsule to look at the circuitry suspended inside. "What did you do to it, Shego?"

"I'll tell you what it did to me: Piss me off. What is that thing?"

Annoyance warred with wariness on Shego's face as she took a few steps back, before she settled herself on a mask of sardonic smugness.

"Looks like you were using the wrong tool for the job."

Irritation flickered across Drakken's face before being replaced by a manic grin. He felt around the edge of one of the metal bands for a small indentation and depressed it with a click. A low, whirring hum filled the room as the device pulsed with energy, electricity arcing between the electronic components and the glass surrounding them.

"Zero." The device spoke in a modulated, feminine voice. There was a pause for a moment as Drakken leapt back in excitement.

"Oooh! Shego! We did it!"

"One." the voice repeated. "Uno, два, tres."

Drakken blinked. "Wait. Is it counting?"

Shego quirked an eyebrow. "You're supposed to be the expert, aren't you?"

"Cinco-huit-dreizehn." the rapid-fire monotone continued. There was no emotion in the voice, but one could almost get the impression that this was by design rather than a technological limitation.

"It can't even stick to the same language! What was that, French? I don't speak much French. Only took a few years in Monsieur Deshailles' preparatory." He shoved a whole mess of papers, folders, and books off of a messy lab table and grabbed at a notepad.

"Maybe it's a code? Some kind of coordinate set?"

"二十 一. тридцять чотири."

"Let's see…" Drakken muttered to himself, scrawling figures in a messy hand. "Zero, one, one, two, three, five…"

"Cinquantacinque-восемьдесят девять-cent quarante quatre-two hundred thirty three-三百 七十 七-sześćset dziesięć."

"It's not coordinates! It's the Fibonacci sequence! Stupid machine!" Drakken looked like he was about to kick at it before reconsidering. "Say something else! We already know that!"

"Where in the Wasteland did we drag this one out of again?" Shego asked, looking like she was considering bombing it.

"It was that one really weird place, wasn't it? You know, the one where we lost three interns that one week, then they woke up somewhere in Nevada with nothing but their shoes?"

"Was that the one with the glass trees or the one with the acid lakes?"

"Hrmmm. I think it was the one with all the spikes? I'm still having nightmares about that tank!"

Shego lost her patience and rolled her eyes. "Drakken, I asked because I have a lot of things to do, and keeping track of everything related to this thing was your job."

"Dos. Drei. Cinque. Sept. Eleven. Tretten. Seacht déag."

"Stop counting in prime numbers!" Drakken shouted. "If you're going to count, at least tell us something useful! Coordinates, universal insights, I dunno, something! If I spent three weeks trying to reactivate some oversized calculator I'm going to be very upset." He turned back to Shego. "And come on, you only have two seasons of The Duchess Approves to catch up on! That's not 'a lot'. Put it on in the background when you're filing your taxes or something, I dunno. It's not like you'd be missing out on much acting."

Snap.

Shego tossed the shattered halves of the nail file into a garbage bin stuffed to the brim with balled up blueprints.

"What did you say?" Shego asked warningly.

"You know, that show you watch when you're pretending to be working?" Drakken asked, too distracted to pay attention. "I know you want me to watch it too, but I cannot bear the idea of that insipid-"

Drakken was violently spun around to see Shego glaring an inch from his face, plasma up.

"...Too far?" He asked.

"Huit cent. Ottocentocinquanta. 九百二十. Mil treinta. Trí mhíle dhá chéad. пять тысяч пятьсот. Huit mille sept cents. Thirteen thousand. Twenty-six thousand. Czterdzieści trzy tysiące. Kvindek ses mil. 六萬四千."

Shego let Drakken down to stare at the robot.

"Okay, okay! Sheesh." Drakken said, brushing himself off. "Some people are so picky about television nowadays. Now where were we?" Drakken questioned rhetorically. "Right, right, impossible robot spouting nonsense in a variety of languages I barely understand! I told you I don't speak much French, so stop speaking it!"

"दो हजार एक सौ. Tri mile ceithir cheud. ສີ່ພັນຫົກຮ້ອຍ. Lima afe lua selau."

"That's better." Drakken groused.

"You understood it that time?" Shego asked in disbelief.

"Well, no, except for the Scots-Gaelic. But it stopped speaking French, so that's progress!" Drakken continued poking at the machine for a moment before his mind clicked back into its previous rant. "Now back to those interns. Maybe it wasn't the time we lost three, but the time all nine disappeared? Not the first time, the other time. Big empty fields, chunks of graphite, those weird-shaped cooling towers- eeeeugh." Drakken shuddered. "We need to remember to send a gift basket to the next of kin. Shego, make a note of that."

A socket wrench impacted Drakken's head. Drakken yelped.

"...I'll just make a note of that, then." Drakken said, in a somewhat more pained voice.

"Tolu sefulu lima afe. Fjörutíu og tvö þúsund. Kırk sekiz bin. 五十三千. Sexaginta milia.
жаран нэгэн мянга. Seachdad tri mile."

"Aaargh, I don't know what it's doing! Look, it's obviously a pattern of some sort- these are all even numbers and they seem to be going up- but what do they mean?"

Drakken began pacing. "Let's see. We know for a fact that this device is unlike any other we've found in the Ex-clu-si-on Zone," Drakken said, putting unnecessary emphasis on several nonexistent syllables. "It clearly represents a unique form of technological… doohickey that communicates in an indecipherable code. Now, why does that sound familiar? Shego! Why does that sound familiar?"

"Ceithir fichead 's dà mhìle. Ninety thousand. Cant ac un o filoedd. Ciento cinco mil.
十 一万 千."

"Oh, whatever!" Drakken said, throwing down his tools in a huff. "Maybe some tunes will help clear my head."

"It won't." Shego replied.

"Einhundertfünfundzwanzigtausend." the machine remarked as if in agreement.

"Yes it will!"

"You'll get distracted complaining about modern pop music again."

"There's been no heart in it since the Cheetah Girls stopped putting out new albums." Drakken groused. "Sev'ral Timez sounds like they came out of a vat. And I should know!"

Drakken rolled up his sleeves and made his way over to the unnecessarily large control panel he preferred to keep in every major room. After several attempts that lead to activating the central heating, dumping the base's entire supply of creosote oil into the Atlantic, and flinging a pair of guards out an escape hatch, Drakken succeeded in turning on the radio.

A incomprehensible burst of noise issued from the impractically large contraption, garbled phonemes blending together in a vague simulacrum of words, completely indistinct from any language Drakken had ever heard of.

"See what I mean? Modern music is nothing but noise!"

"Drakken, that's clearly nothing like music."

"I know that, I was being humorous. Urgh. You think I wouldn't recognize that horrible hellish noise I've been trying to decode for the last few weeks?"

The machine switched from its ceaseless count into a series of rapid-fire dolphin cries, undulating in tone and pitch.

"Oh come on! Switching languages was bad enough, but now you can't even stick to human ones? What am I supposed to do, go to that idiot pharmacist and ask him to translate?! He only speaks Whale! That'd probably be like trying to speak Finnish when all you know is Karelian! Sure, you can probably understand a few things, but it'll be really awkward for everyone involved and you'll probably end up insulting someone."

"...Doofenshmirtz speaks whale?" Shego asked, actually looking up.

"It was in his last email demanding you give him Colorado. Come to think of it, we haven't gotten any in a couple months."

"You read my emails?" Shego asked threateningly.

"You… you made me do that for you." Drakken said lamely.

"...I did?"

"십삼만 팔천. Centoquarantacinquemila. One hundred fifty two thousand. сто шестьдесят одна тысяча. 十七萬三千. הונדערט פֿינף און נײַנציק טױזנט. Ducent dudek mil." After finishing another barrage of dolphin noises, the machine dutifully switched back to its now-familiar counting.

Drakken fidgeted. "Shego…"

"Yes?" Shego asked, full of resignation.

"Do you want… me to learn Whale?"

"Oh my god."

Shego allowed her head to slump gently into her waiting fingers.

The silence stretched on. Both turned to the robot only to find it waiting in silence as well.

Drakken kicked the robot.

"Stupid robot! Keep working!" Drakken scowled, clutching his bruised foot.

The robot went beep.

"Wait, I think that worked, what did I say there?"

"Something pathetic about whales?"

"No no, before that."

"A̵A̵A̵A̸A̸A̵͇̐Ã̶̪A̸̤̓A̵͔͔͛Á̴̱̄̕Á̷̪̼͈A̸͚͐̏A̷̢͚̣͋̿͒̀͋̆̇͝Ḁ̶̳̳̣̫̭̮́Ḁ̸̧̙̖̣͇̪̺̀̒͗̾̿̏́A̶̢̛̦̱̥̝̞̯̿̎̅̓̀̊͋͆́̈͝ͅA̵̞̙͕̘̦̠̥̟̓̀̀̈́͌̾̉͠A̸̞͇̻̍͂̌͛͂͝Ȃ̴͎͍͔͒͑̂͂̅̔̈́̽͠À̵̫̹̤̭̟̝̫̥̥̘̬̰̘̬͌̾̀̉̈́͑͆͒̀̌́̉͆̾̑̚͝͠Ả̸̻͔͙̥̟̱͖̩̟̤̳̙̼̅̊̄͗̍̈́̄̅͆͌͋̔̽͂̎͂̆̍̕̚-"


"WILL YOU STOP TOUCHING IT!!!" Shego screamed.

"STOP SCREAMING! STOP IT!" Drakken screeched, clutching his ears.

"五十 三万."

 

[Made in Heaven]

"We deserve more."

The simple statement echoed in the dilapidated train car, shocking Woolter from his concentration. He felt a slight sting of irritation run through him as he stood back from the gas chromatograph. "What?"

"I said we should be getting more." his lab assistant elaborated without missing a beat. "What does he pay us now? Two, three grand a week? That's pathetic."

Woolter sighed. As much as he hated to admit it, his thoughts on the matter were similar. When the ram had approached him years ago with an offer that he found hard to refuse, he had expected big things. A chance for the recognition he was so thoroughly denied, the ability to demonstrate his talent- and more practically, the means to pay for his medical bills in the increasingly hostile economy. That ship had sailed a long time ago, and with his cancer fully in remission he had little reason to turn back now.

"Primal" had been his little trick to make some extra money on the side, and all it had taken was a few weeks of experimentation with the holicithias. It turned out that the chemical compounds that their mysterious employers had wanted concentrated could be utilized recreationally, after being extracted and crystallized, but between distribution fees, the sizable cut Doug took for himself and the 'dietary accommodations'', it left precious little for himself and Jesse to split.

"And what do you propose we do about it?" he asked rhetorically. He could keep up the charade for a while longer, as much as it physically galled him- a few thousand in cash every week was easy enough to launder, and more than he would get working whatever minimum wage job would accept him in today's economy. He could-

"Do something on our own! Come on man, what we're doing here is unique! You said it yourself, this isn't just something a crank dealer can cook up in his basement! Everyone from here to Sokyo wants a piece of it, and what does that get us? A few measly grand a month while that jackass makes off with god knows what." Jesse set down a beaker filled with a chunky purple liquid with a clunk. "Look. All I'm saying is that we need to do something about Doug."

"His 'employer' has so much influence in the government that he gets advanced warning of DEA raids. We've been down here for months without so much as a cop poking their nose in. We need to tread very carefully."

"I know a guy in Tundra Town. We can-"

"Is this going to be anything like the last 'guy you knew'? We barely escaped with our lives after that rabid wombat-"

"Look, Mr. Big's not into any of that psycho cartel shit. He's old school."

==

The frigid streets of Tundra Town were not the most welcoming on the best of days. The roads were vast, wide enough to accommodate the predator-sized cars that trundled down them without any care for the icy conditions, pockmarked by potholes and dangerously covered in black ice. The continual breakdown of the Zootopian climate systems had not been kind to the microbiome in recent months, though most of that paled in comparison to what was happening in Savannah Square.

A light icy mist descended over the buildings as the smell of cooking meat and wood smoke wafted through the air. While eateries of this sort had seen… 'protests' in other areas of the city, none would dare to lay a finger on one of Mr Big's fronts. Even the uninformed would be able to surmise that this area of town was not one someone could step foot in lightly. Snow-covered offices hawking advertisements for ambulance-chasing lawyers- quite literally in the case of the one boar who assured you he would get your money without a hitch- waited next to 24/7 liquor stores that offered quantities fit for an elephant. The brickwork of many of these buildings was crumbling, worn down by years of neglect and the continual winter, though the streets were strangely unmarred by graffiti. Even the rusted bus stop waiting next to a 'Dr Carver's Nuts' stand only held the usual advertisements for retrofitting one's apartment with personalized climate systems.

The defining feature of the entire block, as indistinct as it may have been, was the limousine lot that saw a surprising amount of foot traffic for a service that was in low demand. Even now, one of the interior offices glowed warmly with amber light as indistinct figures muttered behind closed doors, whispering secrets and exchanging handshakes as the night wore on, and no one paid any mind to the two sheep moving a wriggling sack from their car into the side of the building.

This was shaping up to be a lot like the wombat.

===

The crime scene in the Zootopian underworld had once been as varied as the myriad species that called it home. Recent political upheavals, such as the ever-increasing 'feral predator' epidemic, the former mayor Lionheart's involvement in the scandal, and the fringe following of prey supremacists rallying behind Mayor Bellwether's policies, had led to organized crime being consolidated under the aegis of one shrew.

Woolter maintained his stony facade even as the room started to fill with polar bears. The massive beasts, each of them dressed in neat three-piece suits, shuffled into the room one by one, the last near-reverently placing his hands on the hardwood desk and depositing his boss at the head of the room.

"So." Mr. Big spoke, his tempered, mumbling voice managing to dominate the room. "I understand you've got something for me?"

With a nod from Jesse, one of the polar bears ripped open the writhing mass of canvas and extricated a slightly bruised and bloodied ram, his eyes shrinking in terror as they took stock of the scene in which he found himself. With a single motion the tape was torn from his mouth and all of the room's occupants were treated to his panicked screams. His futile attempts to escape from his binds earned him nothing more than a smack on the head from one of the guards.

"Ah." Mr Big said softly, almost regretfully. "This one. I remember this one."

All traces of Doug's composure were gone, lost in the swift yet inevitable contemplation of his own mortality. "I'm not-"

"Now." Mr Big said, and Doug immediately went silent. "I'm gonna ask you just once, and if you tell me, we'll do it the easy way. Who gave the order?"

"What?! I don't know what you're-"

"Who. Gave. The order?" Big enunciated, leaning forward as the tiniest of creaks punctuated his statement.

"I- I'm never going to say anything to you! You don't have any idea who you're dealing with! No idea of how high my connections are! If you-"

"Do you have a family, Doug?" Mr. Big asked.

Doug's struggling ceased as a sneer crept over his face. "I have a cause."

Mr. Big looked at him for a moment. "I see."

There was silence, for a moment. Doug gaped. Woolter suppressed a shudder of disgust. Jesse didn't.

"Ice 'im." the don intoned with finality.

The ram screamed as his death sentence was spoken, a sudden burst of adrenaline enough to wrench his way out of the polar bear's grip. "Woolter!" he shrieked frantically, attempting to scramble across the floor with his bound limbs. "He's going to kill me! You can't let him destroy what we've worked for! You can't sell me out to this- this Saddleback-"

One of the polar bears, Kevin- no, Dante, Woolter thought, growled, and slammed a clenched paw into Doug's face. Doug went sprawling across the floor, scrabbling ineffectually against his restraints. Towards Woolter.

Woolter thought about the work they had done. Unpleasant work, but all out of necessity. He didn't know the full extent of the operation, and he had never bought into the drek that Doug had peddled- all that nonsense about the 'cause' and how they had a duty to their species. All the weeks of condescension, the increasingly unreasonable demands, the refusal to acknowledge his genius- the sheer insult at being handed pocket change for what rightly deserved a Nobel prize!

His teeth clenched as he glared down at the ram, voice dropping into a growl. "Fuck you."

One of the polar bears hefted a wooden panel off of the floor, an icy, sub-zero chill filling the room. Doug's screams increased tenfold until they were abruptly cut off by a chilling splash and the sound of wood being dragged back into place. For a brief, terrifying moment, Woolter could hear the scratching of something desperately attempting to find purchase on wood, faint splashing, and then…

He failed to suppress a shiver. It was just the cold, he insisted to himself.

For the first time the don's attention shifted; waving them closer in an invitation he couldn't ignore.

"You've done me a great service on this day, delivering to me this thoughtless beast, this murderer. I am willing to overlook any… disagreements our organizations might have had. And to hear what now you would ask of me."

A what? What exactly had Doug gotten himself into? Woolter had admitted this plan was a bit risky- he had no way of knowing exactly how the 'don' would respond to his offer- but only in his most outlandish calculations had he considered a scenario like this. He was on the edge of something very big, he was sure of it- and all he had to do right now was play his cards right. Coming right out and asking for a reward was out of the question, but he could-

Mr. Big chuckled as the look of calculation crossed Woolter's face. "No no, none of that. I'm not here to trade with horses today. You've earned my friendship, and I'll owe you a favor. Vincent! Set a spot at the table for our new friends here. We'll talk over dinner."

==

"I hope you'll excuse the limited accommodations, Mr. 'Neisenberg', my usual line of nourishment probably isn't up to your palate. Here in Tundra Town we don't see too many who don't eat meat; and much as I'm hoping to change that, these are hard times. Now I can offer you the spirulina, I've got the makings of a nice salad or two, or if you're feeling adventurous, we've got this lovely little new plant steak straight out of the Sycorax labs."

The evening was rapidly turning into a rare opportunity. What had started as a rash and impulsive decision that by all rights he shouldn't have allowed himself to be talked into was quickly turning into something he could actually work with, at least for the time being- a far cry from the first 'partnership' he had forged in those early attempts to sell Primal. Aside from the obvious attempts to show dominance- understandable enough, considering he had walked into his seat of power- the shrew had been perfectly cordial with him.

"I'll have the steak." he answered after a moment. This would serve as a show of solidarity and satisfy some admittedly academic curiosity, drawing him closer to the mob boss until his own power base was secure enough to strike out on his own. Already his mind was alight with possibilities, new chemical reactions to remove the need for the plants, the least suspicious means of acquiring chemical precursors.

"Really now? You're an interesting man. Come, take a seat. Have a cannoli, they're my grandmama's recipe." The shrew situated himself at the head of the immensely long dinner table, seated on a miniature table of his own in place of a dinner plate. "Now let's talk business. The man who shot our family friend is dead, but that's not enough. I want the son of a bitch who gave the order."

"Mr. Big." Woolter cut Jesse off before he could say anything. "Neither of us know-"

Mr. Big held up his paws placatingly. "I know, I know. Like I said, you've done me a great service by delivering Doug. But now that he has, regrettably, gone missing, the two of you are likely to… rise to the top, as it were. Learning who might have orchestrated this whole operation would be… very valuable to me. Food for thought for the future. Now more importantly, what can I do for you? I want you to think long and hard about the favor I owe you- I'm a man of considerable influence after all. And I would like to consider this the start of a long partnership."

Woolter thought.

==

"Beautiful." Liv Amara gushed, turning the translucent purple crystal over in her hands, raising it to the light to examine with a magnifying glass. "And so impressive, too! You're a very talented chemist, Neisenberg. Do you have any idea how hard it is to organize an organic compound with a high molecular weight into a crystal of this clarity?"

"...very hard?" Liv's assistant, a somewhat androgynous blonde man with a perfectly symmetrical face asked.

"Very hard!" Liv affirmed. "I took a couple semesters of organic chem back at SFIT. It was never my best subject, I'll admit- I never really could wrap my head around alkene chemistry. It took me… well. Me a month to get through this one lab where we were supposed to purify benzoic acid- and my end result was nowhere near as impressive as this. What's your secret?"

"Our procedure is strictly proprietary." Woolter took the complements to his craft without so much as a smile. As deserved as his recognition was, he was here for business at the moment. "But I can assure you there is nothing else like it on the market. We are the only ones with the technique at the moment, and it can be upscaled considerably-"

"Come on. Little hint?" Liv interrupted. "Just for curiosity's sake."

He contemplated for a moment, deliberately phrasing things in the vaguest possible terms. Even if she were an accomplished chemist, the description of one step out of context would hardly be conducive to replicating it herself. "The presence of a certain catalyst makes it possible for a stereospecific reaction to take place at a certain step in the process."

Liv chuckled. "Just as well, you'd probably lose me if you went into any more detail than that. These NMR reports are fascinating though- while we weren't able to nail down the compound exactly it seems to resemble an organophosphate of sorts. If you're not producing this from scratch, then are you coming to me for aid in the synthesis of the… 'precursor'?"

"No, I've formulated a workaround for that. Given the difficulties in acquiring and producing the 'precursor' I've come up with an alternative pathway with far more easily acquired chemicals. As I'm certain my contact let you know, I'm more interested in setting up a network for distribution."

"Wait a second." Chris piped up again. "If it's 99.1% pure, then why is it purple? There shouldn't be anything in it to make it purple!"

"Rayleigh scattering." Liv answered at the same time Woolter said "My proprietary process". The two looked at each other for a second.

"Anyway!" Liv brought the conversation back on track. "I admit that I wouldn't be completely averse to your little proposal. I think I could set you up with everything you're looking for- supply of precursor chemicals, lab space, and more importantly, a chance to get your product further than the west coast."

"Wait, you're a sheep." Chris interrupted again. "Why do you call yourself Neisenberg?"

Woolter gave Chris his most withering stare. "I'm adopted." he said sarcastically.

"Oh. Okay!"

"And what would the specifics of our arrangement be?"

"Well, you're reluctant to talk about your 'process' and I can understand that, but tell me- how much do you think you can produce in a week, provided the proper materials? Two, three hundred pounds?"

That number was, in all honesty, a conservative estimate. Doug had them pumping out a third of that and they were working out of a dismal rail car with scavenged medical equipment, and that was factoring in the inefficiency of the plants themselves. Four weeks from seed to bulb, assuming the conditions were optimal. Streamlining the chemistry should quadruple their yield, not that he would say that out loud- better to underpromise and overdeliver. "Four hundred will work."

"Good! Now… after materials, overhead, distribution fees, and my own fee… how does ten percent sound to you? Provided in Sycorax stock, neatly laundered."

Woolter's teeth clenched. Academically he knew that this scale was far more than he would ever make working under Doug, but the thought of being underappreciated like this…

"No." he practically growled. "I want thirty percent!"

Thirty percent was insane, there was no way she would agree to that, but he should be able to haggle her up to a far more reasonable fifteen. It might be playing a bit harder than he intended to coming in, but this partnership would go nowhere if he allowed himself to be walked over like this.

"Hmm…" Liv considered for approximately fifteen seconds. "Okay. Thirty works."

"Whoa whoa whoa, wait a second." Jesse interrupted Woolter's train of thought. "What the hell is this?"

"Jesse, she just agreed to our offer."

"No, no, I want to know what she gets out of it. Thirty percent is insane. What, are you gonna keep us locked up in a lab somewhere? Watch us 24/7 and break our kneecaps if we step out of line?"

"Jesse-"

"Why would she even bother doing this if not for the money?! After all those chemicals, paying off the dealers, paying off the cops- how's she going to turn a profit if it's not at our expense?!"

Liv merely chuckled in response to the outburst. "No, no, nothing of the sort. Take whatever days off you need, so long as I get the product, skim some off the top and sell it for yourself if you like- it doesn't really matter to me." Liv smirked as she reached into the Poultry Palace bucket on her desk, taking a bite out of a French fry. "I have someone you can talk to for distribution. And… it's not about the money. It's about sending a message."

"And getting results!" Chris added.

"Good boy." Liv patted Chris on the head.

The woman's behavior was setting Woolter's teeth on edge, but he pushed it off to the side. He could deal with some awkwardness in favor of an opportunity.

He had never been one to pass up on an opportunity.

===

Primal distribution has increased massively nationwide! There is a lot of money moving around the underworld!

 

[Made in Heaven]

"I-I'm sorry. Could you explain that again?" You ask.

"I'm directly responsible for the deaths of dozens of people."

"Right." You say. "I-I'm sorry, am I still asleep? Well. That probably wouldn't make a difference, the dreams were real too. Technor was there, and the Dreamfinder, and the Tin Man, and the Cowardly Lion… actually that last part might have been a normal dream."

"You're… rambling Doctor."

"Yeah I know, I do that when I'm nervous." You almost-snap. The cold you feel has little to do with the ice still melting in your pockets. "This is…"

You try again. "It's a lot to…

"Hoo."

"I understand." Mirage tells you. "Given what I've done, and the ongoing risks of continuing my employment, I've prepared as best I can for my departure. Your… 'council' is already waiting to finish debriefing you on what's gone on in your absence. I've yet to finalize a director of… more covert affairs, but I'm sure you can make your own choice from the shortlist I've provided. If that's all, I'll leave you to your meeting and begin my work preparing for-"

"Wait." You say, raising an arm. "Don't…"

Mirage slows to a stop, turning back around to regard you with uncertainty.

"I…" You try one last time, and then admit that you will never get this to sound the way you want it to. "Why did you do it?"

Mirage looks at you for a moment. "Power." She says, with a defeated shrug. "Force of personality. A willingness to completely ignore what I was actually doing until it effected me. I wish I had a better answer for you. But I don't."

"I… understand." You say, and for better or worse, you really think you do. "When you devote all your time to destroying a nemesis, you don't really… put much thought into what 'destroy' actually means."

"That's not-" Mirage attempts to begin, before silencing herself. What, does she think it's different? You don't think so. So you keep going.

"I know what it's like to…" You struggle for a moment, even to admit it to yourself. But a part of you just… isn't willing to keep up the lie anymore. "Regret. Something. And if you think I'm going to toss you out over this, well you'd better think again! This is Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! Everyone's at least a little bit evil here."

She looks at you uncomfortably for a moment, and you feel the intended strength of your brilliant declaration sapping away in the face of reality. "Okay, okay. So maybe this isn't… the kind of evil I… usually… see. At all."

You take a breath.

"But that doesn't change anything! We need you! I'm still not sure where that bowl of mints went but it could come back at any time! You're important. Almost as important as me! So… come on, eh? Who's gonna be my spymaster but you? Tobe? I'd have to get like, fifty more seats in there for all his unspecified number of ninja. That's not happening, we need that money for the drywall budget."

Mirage laughs, despite everything, and you try to understand why. You really do. Must be your winning personality!

"We can't… just move past this, Doctor." Mirage says after a moment.

"I mean, what else is there to do now, really? Send you to jail or something? What's that gonna accomplish? I don't know what the answer is, but it's not that. Jail sucks! There's only like, one smoothie machine in the whole building. We'll… we'll figure out something else."

"Be better…" Mirage says to herself.

"What was that?" You ask.

Mirage blinks. "Oh! Nothing, Doctor. Nothing. Let's… let's get going then."

"Please, call me Heinz. I read in a book once that's what friends do."

Mirage looks at you for a moment. "...Friends?"

"Yeah, um." You rub the back of your head. "Recent events have informed me that I may not have as many… actual friends in my life, as I thought I did. Should've known, really. So I'm trying to be more intentional. About. That."

The silence goes on for a further few moments.

"This ah… this is awkward. Now.

"...We should go."

"Yes."

===

You bust through the door with your usual bravado. "Alright, who's ready to do some evi-"

"And I'm telling you, if you vant transhumanism, den we already have ducks!"

"The small sample size of ducks in the world means that they are an outlier and should be excluded from our calculations! It's simple statistics!"

"Don't yoo talk to me abowt statistics young man, I was calculating zentral tendencies where you were in diapers, I'll have yoo know."

"Pardon me," Coyote interjects, "But aren't you only six years old? I do recall that you said you, as a clone, split from Ludwig that long ago…"

"Yoo stay out of this! It's rehlative!"

"What kinda relative?" Goofy asks. "Does that make you two siblings 'r somethin'?"

"Deuggghhhh." Ludivine shudders. "Nevah say dat again."

"I have no idea what a clone is!" Malifishmirtz spoke up.

"Okay." Mirage says, clapping her hands together in order to halt the bickering. "Everyone. Doctor… Heinz. Is back."

You're not sure why, but you expected applause. You didn't get any. Oh well. At least the reception isn't negative.

"Perhaps now we can return to business." Coyote replies. "We have an ongoing crisis at Olympia Corp-"

"Agaihn." Ludivine notes.

"Someone's stolen a Zero Point Emitter from our vaults, and of course we still have the ongoing 'stare at Doom and frown' campaign which we've elected to continue indefinitely."

Lee shuffles his papers noisily. "Jumba and I have prepared a full docket of potential avenues for research in the coming months, and while we are hopeful you will decide to examine some genetics opportunities-"

"I get ze final say!" Ludivine says insistently. "Don't yoo worry, I'll have tings in tip top shape, not a moment wasted."

"I've actually got my own suggestions for how we can get things into shape around here, while recent innovations have been impressive, I can't help but notice a few opportunities for them to snowball out of control." Janus continues.

"You mean 'put an end to dem!' You're fah too paranoid abouht AI!" Ludivine replies.

"And why shouldn't I be worried? Before we get into any sort of philosophical conundrums about 'rights' or any of that, why don't we head it off ahead of time? We know the stimuli that lead to the development, or at least the possibility of full sapience, so I'm proposing that we develop a system to prevent that from ever happening in the first place. No sapience, no hypothetical rights violations. It's as simple as that, and as a bonus it ensures the programs will never be smart enough to rebel."

"That's quite sensible." Mirage comments.

"But just imagine what we could do with intelligent machines!" Coyote declares. "The potential for violence alone…"

"Ooookay." You say, taking a seat and attempting to bring some measure of unity to the proceedings. "Mirage picked you all for a reason, and I picked her for a reason, so I'll be sure to listen to all your input for the next… how long is this meeting scheduled for?"

"Five hours." Mirage says.

"Oh."

Goofy slaps you on the back. "Cheer up, Doctor D! We've got a bright future ahead of us! It's good ta have ya back."

You flick through the pile of reports on everything that's happened since you've gone into stasis. Another Olympia gala gone mad, restaurants starting to yell at each other over the radio, Coyote having a very bad time over in Paris… you're going to have to take some time to read everything eventually.

"In regards to the Olympia situation," Coyote continues, "I'm not sure I'm fully on board with propping them up at our own expense. It may be the altruistic thing to do but we are a business, and I'm certain that would not count as a tax-refundable donation."

"Aw, come on guys!" Goofy objects. "Mr. Deavor's one of the nicest guys in the industry! And wouldn't it be nice to have a friend instead of a competitor on the board?"

"He'll still be a competitor!" Janus insists. "Even if he's marginally aligned with us we shouldn't expect the same sort of charity from him! A hostile takeover isn't really an option at this point, but there's nothing to stop us from poaching whatever we can and leaving them to their fate."

"Winston is different." Mirage notes. "I know it may sound a bit rich, coming from me, but the man is far more interested in the general welfare than he is in making a profit. If you don't find that particularly… admirable, then consider the benefits of a reliable actor in our own interests upon the board."

"If they want to work with us, they should merge with our guild and have done with it." Malifishmirtz grouses.

"Well I say Winston's got the right idea!" Goofy declares, pounding his fist into his hand. "What's the point of being a big shot if we can't give back to the community! A little money's not gonna hurt anything to spend on the less fortunate, and I'm sure folks'd be real appreciative."

"Oh yes, fine, whatever." Coyote waves him off. "Speaking of the community, I'm sure you've all noticed the ads for 'Helping Hats' wherever you go?"

"It is somewhat… concerning." Mirage admits.

"Oh yeah!" you say, flicking through the papers until you come across a two-page spread from a newspaper. "These are the evil mind-controlling things, aren't they? We should probably do something about that, and I've already got an idea." You grin evilly. "Ban the hats!"

"We don't exactly have the ability to pick and choose what companies people shop from, Docto-"

"No no no no no. All hats!"

You pause for effect.

"No." Mirage says flatly, and she's followed by a chorus of consenting opinions from your other councilors.

"I like m'hat." Goofy says, taking it off his head and holding it in his hands.

"Spoilsports."

"Well, since we can't do something so overt, why don't we do something overt in a different way?" Coyote asks. "We know that those dastardly InventCo factories are churning out the things like hotcakes. So why not plan for some good old-fashioned sabotage? You know, sugar in the diesel tanks, thermite on the conveyor belts, the works! Send a message to them! 'Someone knows what you're up to, and won't stand for it!'"

"We don't know what they're up to." Mirage stresses. "Doctor, I don't disagree, some action may be necessary. But I would suggest we interrogate this… man… who has been living off the company dime in hiding for several months now. Olivia thinks he knows something."

"Mm." Janus assents. "It's more overt than I'd care for. Perhaps we could kidnap an execu- no, no, too early yet." Janus shrugs. "Later."

"So let me get this straight." Malf isn't quite sitting in his chair, he's just floating in the middle of it. "There's this evil merchant out there that's making mind-control talismans and sticking them in hats. And you want to go bust up their stocks? That's a great idea!"

"They had stocks in the middle ages?" Coyote asked.

"Of course, what else would we put criminals in? The Goozim cage? That was over way too fast."

"Alright so." You bring the group back in. "I understand that I have previously not been very attentive to the fact that we… run… a business. You say. "So, we can… talk… about… that?"

"Ah, you wish to make some more direct choices?" Coyote asks. "In that case, I'm sure Janus and I can provide a broad strategic overview."

The next 40 minutes are a dizzying cavalcade of numbers and concepts you only vaguely remember from the early days, back when DEI was just you and a pushcart and you had to do all of this yourself. By the end of it, you're struggling to keep the literal billions of dollars DEI has flowing around straight enough to make a decision. The rest of the table looks to you expectantly.

"So." Goofy asks cheerily. "What're we gonna do today?"

===
Mirage has gained 5 loyalty.

Your new councilor-suggested actions will come in the next turn update!

 

[Arathnorn]

Lore Roadmap

Okay. We've got a lot to do.

The state of lore compendium in this quest has been quite frankly abysmal. We literally haven't updated our Lore posted since we began almost two years ago. Thanks in particular to @Argidoll for pointing that out. If there is one concern we have seen repeatedly raised over and over again, it is that you feel like we are asking you to answer questions you don't know how to read. That you don't know what we want you to do. We have a few ideas on how we'd like to address that. But we, in turn, feel sometimes that you guys are not… digging into our updates in the way that we'd hope. Not in the sense that you're inattentive! And this is a very broad brush we're painting with. A lot of you have proven invested, attentive, and clever. You solved an enigma code after all! And I still remember the day someone managed to, almost perfectly, predict Xanatos' exact motivations during the Moolah and Magic Quest. But with hundreds of threadmarks over nearly two years, it's a lot to get through, a lot to remember, and hard to put things together. Not only that, we've been told we have a tendency to write in a way that is very… readable. As in, it's very easy to just glide over the text of the interlude, glean the surface level, and not pick up on some of the subtext. So. Here's what we're going to do.

The old Lore page is being archived into a mini-spoiler, with what remains of it being cleaned up and turned into a 'new readers start here', type thing. The rest of the Lore page is going to be broken up into a number of subsections, each of which consists of a broad 'plotline' that is developing over the course of Doofquest. Things like San Fransokyo, Magical New York, Aliens, Other Dimensions and so on. We're going to build out a broad list of facts you know about each area, and eventually link to a document that contains in-depth descriptions of each major area on the map. Like Mirage's Report on the Cape Scene or Russ' Report on Doomtown, but up to date. Maybe we'll have you perform actions to get those, maybe not. We're still thinking.

We also want to include lists of all interludes relevant to those lore categories. However. We want to give you all an impetus to go back through some of the earlier interludes and think about them.

And also we're lazy.

So, we're putting out a bounty. For every interlude that you bring to our attention (with a link) that fits into one or more of these categories, we're granting 25XP. Quests count for 25XP no matter how many interludes there are in them, we only want a link to the first one. If two people drop it, it's whoever posted in thread first. Once we have them, we'll gather them all up, and link them in one place.

Oh, and one more thing.

1000XP to the first person who can tell me why "The timing! It's gotta be perfect!" Is funny.

'Your ongoing obsession with having someone get that joke' doesn't count.

Categories

Doofenshmirtz's Personal Growth

Doofania (and what PnF characters in general are up to)

AI Technology

Calistota (and St Canard, and Ducks in general)

Dreamscape, The, (and the Imagination Institute)

Drusselstein (and the awfulness thereof)

Genetics

Grid, The (and ENCOM)

Imagination Institute

International Factions

InventCo (and the whole Hats thing)

Los Angeles (Doom, Toons and Misc happenings)

Magic (General)

Magical New York/ Northeast (and Gargoyles)

Metaworld Wars, The (Dimensional Warlords, Toffee, Phobos, etc. and those associated with or opposing them)

San Fransokyo (including the Cape Scene there and the Zaibatsu)

Space, Aliens and the GalFed

Supers and Capes (Shego and Syndrome Evelyn Winston) (and Hego)

Time Travel (unrelated to the Hats thing)

Underworld Factions (Crime, Drugs, and other yucky stuff)

US Government and the CAIA

Wasteland, The (otherwise known as the Midwest Exclusion Zone)

Xanatos (and his whole Deal)

Zootopia and Cape Suzette



ANYTHING that relates meaningfully to these things is fair game. The interlude where Monogram crit fails and gets caught by the US, for example, counts as Government.

 

[Made in Heaven]

You are Doof, and you are back! Your council is at your side, your company is poised for the future, you… are working through some serious trauma about a platypus and your upbringing… regardless!

What are you going to do today?

Actions available each turn:

Martial: 1
Diplomacy: 2
Stewardship: 2
Intrigue: 2
Learning: 2
Occult: 2
Doof Personals: 4

Unit Notes:
Hero Units:

• Goblin Fox is active this turn! Kitsune must be assigned to an action that causes chaos.
• Jumba is not Hungry for Science this turn! He can be assigned to non-genetics actions!
• Monogram has not been requisitioned by the government this turn!
• Doof takes a -10 to all personal actions for this turn!

Contractors:

• You have 0 Uses of Olivia this year
• You have 1 use of Smarty available before his removal
• Tom has 1 national action remaining this year!

Strengthening your standing in an [Industry] reduces the DC to improve your rank. It does not increase your rank unless the outcome specifies that it does!
Current liquid funds: 8
Check Behold, Your Stuff for further funds information.
Recent opinion changes: Olympia has recently become allied!
Check the Opinion Tracker for further opinion information.

Spoiler: Martial Actions

[ ] Outfit your PMC with power armor
DC 150

In this ever-changing world we live in, opposition never rests. Whether from internal sabotage or supervillain attack, the possibility of armed conflict breaking out in Danville is never zero. Manufacturing and distributing power armor to members of our PMC could increase their effectiveness, but we would be fronting the cost- and while the suits would provide a benefit to their wearers, they are still civilian grade and vastly inferior to what the actual military is using.

Council Outlook: 3/5 Pass

Coyote: Ah, to prevent against abandoned beartraps and falling boulders. Sensible. (Pass)
Goofy: All those mercenary guys are already runnin' around doin' just fine. Couldn't we spend the money on somethin' else? (Veto)
Janus Lee: I can see the benefit, but the cost is comparatively unreasonable. If you think it's a necessary operating expense, that is on you. I abstain. (Abstain)
Mirage: Doctor, our PMC already operates effectively and only comes in on budget because Genghis keeps them all in yurts. I don't see any reason to increase it at present. (Veto)
Ludivine: Ah, do I get to design dese wuns too? (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: So you can give your goons armor that makes them stronger? Why would you not do that?! (Pass)

Outcome: Decreased DCs for mercenary work, -X funds, -X income per fiscal year, reduced government opinion, difficulty of assaulting DEI increases

[ ] Reorganize your PMC
DC 170

Our PMC is basically Genghis' personal army right now, and while it's worked well up to this point there are clear improvements that could be made to the chain of command. Recruitment has effectively dropped off after the last inexplicable influx of actual Mongols, so it's become necessary to work through some issues in integration issues between the standard corporate goonsquad of the Mendel-Gruman troops, the Normbot handlers, the velociraptor Mounties, and Dennis. Operations are significantly less effective than they could be, and it struggles with autonomy- although there is a proper chain of command, it still requires the proper authorization from the people up top- us and Genghis. Although it is unlikely in the internet age, should the chain break they will likely run around like chickens with their heads cut off. Khan has been eyeing an expedition into the Wasteland recently…

Council Outlook: 4/5 (Pass)

Coyote: I see no reason not to tidy up our violence-based divisions while we have the chance. Approved. (Pass)
Goofy: Well, I don't know too much about this sorta thing. I'll leave it to tha' professionals. (Abstain)
Janus Lee: We already have the PMC, there's no reason to keep it as inefficient as it currently is. (Pass)
Mirage: While I hope it will not become necessary, I see no reason not to deal with issues while they are small. (Pass)
Ludivine: Eh. Why naht? (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: You want your army to make decisions for themselves? That's dumb! What if they decide on something you don't like? (Veto)

Outcome: Second Martial action slot unlocked

[ ] Develop Military AI
DC 140

One logical progression of our AI development is to reach into military applications. Artificial intelligences managing battlefield tactics and logistics could be invaluable in the future, with the potential for enormous profit… although there are some who would urge us to consider the ethical implications of such an act. There are also certain risks involved in handing military power to such an advanced AI as well…

Council Outlook: 1/5 (Veto)

Coyote: I've run afoul of dangerous robots more than once. Making them intentionally is not a good idea. (Veto)
Goofy: I dunno about any of this. (Abstain)
Janus Lee: This is the Android Arc from Dragonclaw Z waiting to happen. (Veto)
Mirage: What? …Regardless, it is concerning. (Veto)
Ludivine: Why are yoo watching dat knock off? Watch de original! (Pass)
Janus Lee: That wouldn't have worked for the metaphor because those were cyborgs!
Malifishmirtz: Weebs. (Veto)

Outcome: Gain a permanent "Military-Industrial Automatons" boost of +5 to Income, increase the efficacy of your PMC, sentient robots will begin to be handed weapons and be told to fight for us and our purchasers. Potential for government contracts. Our standing in [Robotics] strengthens.

[ ] Improve traps
DC 150

The Doctor has repeatedly expressed interest in 'trapping' various parts of DEI in an effort to improve internal security. While this is an OSHA nightmare waiting to happen, it's hard to deny their efficacy assuming that they actually catch the correct person in the first place. With the state of our internal security being what it is, it may be a good idea to let the Doctor get his creativity out…

Council Outlook: 4/6

Coyote: Oh yes, I thought you'd never ask! (Pass)
Goofy: What could go wrong? (Pass)
Janus Lee: I've got a better idea: hiring more guards. (Veto)
Mirage: More guards are less likely to bring about a lawsuit… (Veto)
Ludivine: C'mon now, you know what I'm gonna say. (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: Ahh, yesss, the mark of any true dungeon keeper. I'll get the suits of armor and the giant boulders! (Pass)

Outcome: Increases all hostile infiltration DCs by 10.

[ ] Form a black ops group
DC 90, three to five capes required

The creation of a group to perform clandestine operations would open up several new opportunities for us, as well as giving those in our employ who utilize superpowers or technology a way to hone their skills and abilities. We should carefully consider how the various members will work together, as clashing personalities is likely to lead to poor group synergy and decreased overall effectiveness.

Council Outlook: 2/4 (Pass)

Coyote: Surely we do our best work in comedically misaligned duos? No? (Abstain)
Goofy: I dunno, Dr. D, that seems a bit too evil. (Veto)
Janus Lee: A group for clandestine operations could come in very handy in the future. (Pass)
Mirage: We have some very skilled agents, but not all of them are effective at field work. Giving some of them a chance to work together and support one another would be wise. (Pass)
Ludivine: What? Another sneaky-soopah bunch? I fail to see how this will effect Research und Development. (Abstain)
Malifishmirtz: Let me get this straight. You want to take a bunch of weirdos, stick them together, and hope that it doesn't blow up in your face? Ha! Like that'll ever work out. (Veto)

Outcome: Creation of a Black Ops group, heroball mechanic unlocked, -1 Income.

Spoiler: Candidates:

TECHNOR the Mechanical Man: An excellent generalist and leadership-minded person. Technor would be interested in having minions to boss about with his obviously superior intellect.
Specialization: All-Rounder
Traits: N/A

Mezmerella: Intrigue specialist, with a focus on supervillainy. Memerella prefers to operate solo and call her own shots, but wouldn't be averse to having a few goons to order around.
Specialization: Intrigue, Supervillainy
Traits: What's The Password, Trust In Me, ???

Gomez: Gomez would be ecstatic at the idea of being bossed around by a big strong villain.
Specialization: Occult, Learning
Traits: Insufficiently Analyzed Magic, Summoner's Circuit

Juniper: Juniper would be interested in a long-term teamup.
Specialization: Martial
Relevant Traits: Combos Chicas, Duet Act

Marco: Marco has no interest in working for you long-term right now.
Specialization: Martial
Traits: Safe Kid, Mercenary, 'I'm Cazador', Disciple of Jo-Lan

Lizzy: Lizzy has no strong opinions on working with a team besides a general discomfort with people.
Specialization: Martial, Learning
Traits: Only My Enemies

Genghis Khan: Genghis is perfectly capable of commanding subordinates, however due to the way he operates and his level of competence, any hangers-on attached to Khan are unlikely to be much more useful than Khan operating solo.
Specialization: All-Rounder, Martial, Warfare
Traits: Artifact of the Past, Atomic Genes

Janna: Janna has no interest in having people cramping her style.
Specialization: Occult, Intrigue
Traits: I Got a Little Bored, so I Tried Something New, Non-Practicing Practitioner, Lord Feldrake

Ludivine: Would much rather work on research. On the Council.
Specialization: Learning, Death Rays
Traits: Omnidisciplinary, Applied Disorder, Absent Minded

Jumba: Already has a group.
Specialization: Genetics, Learning
Traits: Genetics Master, Sandwich Boy and Noodle Man, Weird Science, Classic Corned Beef and Sauerkraut on Rye

Tobe and the Vagabond Ninjas: Add-ons would spoil the groove. More add-ons, that is.
Specialization: Intrigue, Martial…Occult?
Traits: Our Battle Will Be Legendary, Nema Nema, Oooh My Nema Nema Nema, Disciple of Jo-Lan

Dennis: Would rather find Donald.
Specialization: Martial
Traits: Aw, Phooey!, Rubberhose

[ ] Sabotage Doomtown Cog Factories
DC 110

Doom's ongoing opposition to us by dint of doing things we don't like has gone on long enough. Shut down the factories putting out his metallic enforcers and watch his machine start to groan. Of course, if we get caught that may be the fuel Doom needs to actively pursue us, and he has a lot of resources he could potentially leverage, especially if we're caught in an act of domestic terrorism.

Council Outlook: 3/4 (Pass)
Coyote: Finally! Let's stick it to 'im. (Pass)
Goofy: There's one fella I don't mind giving a kick in the keister. (Pass)
Janus Lee: Doctor, this is a complete waste of resources and an active provocation of someone we have no practical reason to be in conflict with. (Veto)
Mirage: While I see no reason to further escalate our feud with Doom, I do not trust the man. Every report we've heard on him suggests that at best he is an untrustworthy actor and at worst a potential threat. (Abstain)
Ludivine: No prohblems heah. (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: His name is Doom. Are we sure we shouldn't be friends? (Abstain)

Outcome: Doom will take a -10 malus to Martial and Stewardship actions for at least a turn and until a DC 100 action is undertaken to repair the Factories. Increased success chances for Red Car activities. Doom will become more attentive to sabotage.

[ ] Halt Seth Supplies Co Shipments
DC 140

Some carefully disguised attacks on Seth Supplies trucking would result in both disrupted funding and perhaps a slight knock-on effect on the remainder of his Earthside operations. Failure…could pull his attention onto Earth, or in the worst case, us.

Council Outlook: 2/6 (Vetoed)
Coyote: What could go wrong? (Pass)
Goofy: Sure, this Toffee guy is bad news, but does hurting his shipments really hurt him all that much? All it sounds like it'll be doin' is stopping food from gettin' to the people who need it. (Veto)
Janus Lee: This might allow us some insight into how his interdimensional supply lines work, but the risk is absolutely not worth it. (Veto)
Mirage: Everything we know about Toffee suggests that he has immense resources at his command, incredible magical power, and a keen sense of strategy. Attempting to start a feud at this point is not only pointless, it's actively dangerous with no discernible benefit. (Veto)
Ludivine: I will prohve that science is superior to magic, or die in the attempt! (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: Never poke a wizard with a short stick. Seriously, stop it. I know I'm incorporeal anyway. And when you're done doing that, we also shouldn't fight this Toffee guy. (Veto)

(Outcome: Toffee will take a -20 to Earthside stewardship actions and a -5 to Earthside intrigue actions until a DC 115 action is taken to fix the issue. This includes the Find Star roll.)

[ ] Deface the rebuilt Waddle Inc corporate headquarters
DC 80

Mark Beaks sure is…around. Doing his own thing. He rebuilt his HQ recently. He isn't involved in any industries DEI has a hold on, not since Carpe Diem crashed and burned day one. He said some really mean things about you on the television, but you did burn down his house. So you're kind of even right now.

Council Outlook: 1/5 (Veto)
Coyote: We can't get two revenges in a row, it simply isn't done. (Veto)
Goofy: Dr. D, this is dumb. (Veto)
Janus Lee: I… why are we even discussing this? (Veto)
Mirage: No. (Veto)
Ludivine: Why are we vaisting time on this when we could be doing science? (Abstain)
Malifishmirtz: This guy embarrassed you in front of everyone! Turn him into a rabbit! (Pass)

Outcome: Mark Beaks is mildly inconvenienced. If you are caught, he will sue you.

[ ] Perform Supervillainy
DC 85/115/135/165
For a less plausibly deniable way of obtaining extra funds or illicit goods, we can always send someone to perform an act of supervillainy on their own. The reception to this is likely to vary greatly, but overall we should expect opposition from anyone on the receiving end of it, in addition to superheroes and the US Government.

Council Outlook: 4/6 Pass
Coyote: Ah, a proper act of nefarious subterfuge. I accede. (Pass)
Goofy: Well, that doesn't seem very nice. (Veto)
Janus Lee: A chance to acquire some income off the books is appreciated, provided we keep it on the down low. (Pass)
Mirage: Doctor I… don't see much sense in this. I'd ask you to reconsider. (Veto)
Ludivine: Oh fine, but I betta get something shiny and neat out of it. (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: What? You mean you can just send people to take things that are really valuable for yourself? And they don't get eaten by Goozims? Living in not-Drusselstein is great! (Pass)

Outcome: Income (varies based on unit assigned), potential other rewards (varies based on units assigned) increased cred in rogue and villain community, risk of reduced government or public opinion, some hero units may dislike this, or love it. The nature of the assault depends on the hero unit assigned.

[ ] Rent out your PMC
DC 100

You have an absolute horde of violent weirdos burning a hole in your pocket. CorpSec goons, Normbot swarms, pillagining Mongols… it costs a lot, actually. Since you're not really using them at the moment, let's put them to use by selling them to the highest bidder! That's… what PMCs do, apparently.

Council Outlook: 5/5 (Pass)
Coyote: Perhaps if I'd had access to such a service I'd've ended my hunt eons ago. (Pass)
Goofy: Well, I suppose it'd be a waste to see 'em lyin' around. But what exactly are they gonna use em' for? (Pass)
Janus Lee: Loaning deniable assets is a tried and true way of earning some extra money. (Pass)
Mirage: I can hardly justify their expense as it is. Yes Doctor, by all means recoup your losses. (Pass)
Ludivine: What? Leave me alone, I'm busy. Have fun in Thembria or whereva. (Abstain)
Malifishmirtz: Send your guys to work for someone else and steal stuff for them? And they pay you for it? Sure, I guess. This place is weird. (Pass)

Outcome: Funds, risk of reduced government or civilian opinion, potential knock-on effects based on who rented the PMC

[ ] Explore the Wasteland
DC ???

The Midwest Exclusion Zone is incredibly dangerous. Our initial survey results have brought back evidence of several groups of hostiles, extremely harsh conditions, and truly incomprehensible amounts of trash. The exploration team only surveyed a tiny bit of the former Midwest, and there is reason to believe that there are other things waiting out there…

Council Outlook: 3/5 (Pass)
Coyote: Heavens no. I will not return to that blighted place and I don't see why anyone else should either. (Veto)
Goofy: It's kinda pointless, isn't it? I'm sure you could find somethin' in that big pile 'a trash, but seems like a waste a time. (Veto)
Janus Lee: Learning what contributed to the breadbasket collapse could be extremely useful. (Pass)
Mirage: I suppose, but take care not to be seen by the government's cordon. (Pass)
Ludivine: I'd love to get a better look at dose mutated plants the militant horticulturalists were using, ho ho! (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: I can't go, so I don't really have any strong opinions. Can't be worse than Drusselstein. (Abstain)

Outcome: -2 Funds, Further investigation of the Midwest Exclusion Zone

[ ] Invade Drusselstein
DC 100

So apparently there's this thing called 'NATO', and they get reeeaallllly testy if you push up against their borders. But! Your lawyers have found the one place on Earth that absolutely nobody in any foreign government will care at all if you invade.

Oh no.

Drusselstein! The invasion is… well, it's not going to be complicated, most of the effort is going to be spent in making sure your mindless peons and normbot operators don't just leave as soon as humanly possible, but it is, technically, on paper, sort of… okay to do?

Council Outlook: This is a Dumb Idea 3/6 (Pass)
Coyote: I demand revenge for the events of our previous retreat. (Pass)
Goofy: Invadin' another country? Even if they don't care, that's awful! (Veto)
Janus Lee: Just imagine an entire country cut off from the rest of the world that is unbeholden to any of their limiting laws! (Pass)
Mirage: Doctor, this is in no way a sane idea. Please don't listen to Janus. (Veto)
Ludivine: Every scientist secretly yearns for a leettle undeveloped European backwatah to call their own. I just wish it smelled bettah. Ah well, we'll work on et. (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! (Veto)

Outcome: Drusselstein will become sovereign territory ruled by you. Like, actually. You will have genuine absolute power over the land of your birth, with all the responsibility that implies. Just don't, uh, expect international recognition or anything. Everyone will continue to pretend that Drusselstein doesn't exist and hope that if they do that long enough, it will be true.

[ ] Write-In Martial Action
DCs variable
Got an idea burning a hole in your pocket?

Spoiler: Diplomacy Actions

[ ] Set up a lobby (not that kind -M)
DC 120

Careful application of monetary and political pressure can frequently achieve outsized results on the national stage. The federal government is not quite for sale, but several of its mechanisms can be. We should set up an apparatus to take advantage of this.

Council Outlook: 5/6
Coyote: I suppose it might prove a worthwhile endeavor. (Pass)
Goofy: Well garsh Dr D, that just sounds like bribery with extra steps. (Veto)
Janus Lee: Why aren't we doing this already? There is so much more we could accomplish with a friendly government! (Pass)
Mirage: In… moderation, we could accomplish far more with friends in Congress. (Pass)
Ludivine: Get me sum research grants! (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: Why don't we simply mind control them? (Pass)
Janus: Hrm.

Outcome: Ability to start lobbying for issues, many issues will cost funds or take multiple turns

[ ] Expand into Foreign Markets

DC Variable

DEI's growth over the years has been steady and consistent. We can now take the logical steps, acquire the proper permits, and grease the right palms to expand into foreign markets. This can be a risk, but certainly one worth considering.

Select one of the following nations Doofensmhirtz has recently had on his mind.

-[ ] Japan: Eastern capital of bleeding-edge science, robotics, ninjas, and anime. Their Prime Minister is Kitsunezuka "The Big Cheese" Seymour.
DC 120

-[ ] British Isles: Industrialized centers of trade and commerce. Includes the UK and Ireland. Home to John D. Rockerduck, oil magnate and Second-Richest Duck.
DC 130

-[ ] France: Bonjour! This futuristic country hosts noir scenes, genetic engineering, romance, fine dining, and supervillain terrorism.
DC 130

-[ ] Thembria: Frigid, repressive state on the edge of Siberia. The Thembrians maintain a robust army and chilly relations with the rest of the globe.
DC 100

Council Outlook:
Coyote: Ah, to see the world! I would happily head any such a… maybe not France. (Pass)
Goofy: I could bring Maxie! (Pass)
Janus Lee: Not a terrible idea. (Pass)
Mirage: I'd avoid Thembria, it's certainly not worth it. Otherwise, I approve. (Pass)
Ludivine: Have fun ova dere. (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: (Abstain)

Outcome: Opportunity to expand one of our [Industries] in the relevant foreign market, which are not limited by US monopolies.

[ ] Guard against hats
DC variable
InventCo's advertising campaign has seen an uptick of Helping Hat purchases in the region, with a great many people deciding to try out one of the wondrous gadgets for themselves. This is a problem since we have good reason to believe that they are at the center of a sinister mind control conspiracy. We should probably take steps to deal with this.

-[ ] Mandate Company Dress Codes
DC 85

The simplest course of action in the short term is to simply disavow 'helping hats' from ordinary company dress, as well as put limitations on any other potential 'smart' devices that could potentially record without their owner's consent. We'd likely draw attention from InventCo suggesting we're on to them, but it would be a simple and straightforward way of ensuring they do not penetrate our internal security.

Council Outlook: 4/5 (Pass)
Coyote: A sensible response! But we could go further. (Abstain)
Goofy: I like m'hat. (Veto)
Janus Lee: Your hat is fine, Goofy. (Pass)
Mirage: I would recommend we hurry up and deal with the issue before it potentially balloons. (Pass)
Ludivine: I'd like to be keeping de rest of my scwews nice and secure up dere in de noggin, thank you very much! (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: Enchantment is no joke. (Pass)

Outcome: Helping Hats banned from DEI and subsidiary dress codes, Miniscule Public Opinion decrease, InventCo may notice your new policies…

-[ ] Write in on how to deal with them

Council Outlook: Depends on action

Outcome: Varies

[ ] Bury the Hatchet with Judge Doom
DC 130

Apparently Judge Doom is interested in… burying the hatchet? You're not sure what he means by this, Most Hated Enemies don't just do that! But… Mirage said that he doesn't seem to be planning anything even if he does talk really weird. You're not sure what to do here.

Council Outlook: 2/6 (Veto)
Coyote: Judge Doom is an enemy of all toonkind. (Veto)
Goofy: Standing up against Doom's a good thing! Don't stop just cause he wants you to! (Veto)
Janus Lee: Why have we perpetuated this silly feud for this long? Let's be done with it. (Pass)
Mirage: He's got a point, doctor. Whether you intend to make peace with the man or not, this would be a useful distraction and get him off our backs. (Pass)
Ludivine: Dere's only one place I'm going to bury dat hatchet! (Veto)
Malifishmirtz: No, you hate that guy! That means we need to kill him. (Veto)

Outcome: Hesitant peace with Judge Doom, ???

[ ] Reach an Agreement with ENCOM
DC 110

Ed Dillinger approached Mirage at the latest Olympia gala to mention a potential thawing of the one-sided 'rivalry' that exists between DEI and ENCOM. He has no reason to perpetuate it, and given our lack of market share in the computers industry it would not be profitable for us to prolong it either. Further, making nice with some degree of 'exchange' would give us an in to the company we would otherwise lack.

Council Outlook: 5/5 (Pass)
Coyote: I suppose, I don't have any other social soirees I'd like to prioritize. (Pass)
Goofy: I'd like to make friends if we can! (Pass)
Janus Lee: Let's just get it over with. (Pass)
Mirage: An opportunity to shift into a more effective form of competition. (Pass)
Ludivine: Meh. (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: So we're tricking them into… a false sense of security! (Abstain)

Outcome: Contact established with ENCOM, reduced DC for ENCOM infiltration.

[ ] Recruit from your rolodex
DC variable

There are a great many exceptional individuals waiting for employment, both in the cape scene and of a more domestic sort.

Council Outlook: 3/4 (Pass)
Coyote: I know a fellow in Albuquerque… (Pass)
Goofy: There's always room for another at DEI. (Pass)
Janus Lee: More people? Why? (Abstain)
Mirage: DEI's employee structure is bursting at its seams as is. I see no reason to expand it at present. (Veto)
Ludivine: Who do you keep coming in here and asking me qwestions? Advisor? I am? Oh well, pick whoeva. (Abstain)
Malifishmirtz: So it's like serfs, but not. (Pass)

(Outcome: Choice of one hero unit from the hero cards. Some units may not be available. You can only recruit one hero per turn.)

Spoiler: Guaranteed Hires DC:70

[ ]

Spoiler: Fredzilla

San-Fran Cape interested in collaboration with an Unknown Agent. Genre Savvy. Frequently Wrong Genre Savvy.

Pragmatism: Low
Quirkiness: Very High
Instability: Medium
Tolerance for Nonsense: Astronomical
Captain Fancy Original Run Collection: Nearly Complete

[ ]

Spoiler: Cruella De Vil: DC 80

Exceptionally eccentric English fashionista. A mover and shaker in the avant garde underground. Possibly the criminal one, too.

Pragmatism: High
Quirkiness: Managed
Instability: No Comment
Tolerance for Nonsense: One-Sided
Fashion: Impeccable, According to Her
World: Unwholesomed
Watching You: From Underneath: A Rock

Spoiler: Risky Hires: DC90, plus a random roll for availability

[ ]

Spoiler: Momakase

Professional thief and underworld sushi chef that you're sure has multiple federal crimes under her belt.

Pragmatism: High
Quirkiness: Low
Instability: Medium
Tolerance for Nonsense: Low
Sushi Quality: Exceptional

[ ]

Spoiler: Naughty Kitty

Felonious feline-themed cat burglar well-versed in all things cat.

Pragmatism: Low
Quirkiness: Medium
Instability: Low
Tolerance for Nonsense: Medium
Cat Whispering: Maximum

[ ]

Spoiler: Motor Ed

Genius engineer whose obsession with all things fast and wild has caused him to become a supervillain. Only buys from the Planet Tool hardware store.

Pragmatism: Low
Quirkiness: Medium
Instability: High
Tolerance for Nonsense: Medium
Catchphrase: "Seriously"

[ ]

Spoiler: Dingo

Former member of The Pack with minimal interest in returning to his former associates. Known to have picked up a few unusual tricks since the old days.

Pragmatism: Low
Quirkiness: Medium
Instability: Low
Tolerance for Nonsense: Medium

[ ]

Spoiler: Go Go Tomago

Notoriously violent speed demon and St. Canard escapee. Wanted for vigilantism in several states.

Pragmatism: High
Quirkiness: Low
Instability: Low
Tolerance for Nonsense: Low
Go Fast: Gotta

[ ]

Spoiler: The Arrow

Grounded, street-level vigilante who fights with trick arrows and other handy devices shaped like arrows.

Pragmatism: High
Quirkiness: Low
Instability: Low
Tolerance for Nonsense: Medium
Accuracy: 100%

[ ]

Spoiler: Man-Moth

Camera-shy, cryptid-themed hero who is attracted to crime like a Non-Man-Moth to a flame.

Pragmatism: High
Quirkiness: Medium
Instability: Medium
Tolerance for Nonsense: Medium
Additional Secrets: REDACTED

[ ]

Spoiler: Baron Von Steamer

Supposed Arch-Nemesis of Boss Awesome and sultan of steam power. Don't get him started on millennials.

Pragmatism: Can We Use Negative Numbers? He's not pragmatic but for exactly inverse reasons.
Quirkiness: Very High
Instability: Medium
Tolerance for Nonsense: Actively Required
Steam: Punk

[ ]

Spoiler: Sirque

Artistic acrobat from Lyontreal with unparalleled infiltration abilities and a passing resemblance to a San Fransokyan boogeyman.

Pragmatism: Medium
Quirkiness: Medium
Instability: Low
Tolerance for Nonsense: Very Low
Frenchness: 150%
Hoops: Jumped Through

[ ]

Spoiler: Rubber Chicken

Calisotan mutant with a level of elasticity above and beyond the normal chicken. He has practically opted to become a private eye.

Pragmatism: Medium
Quirkiness: Medium
Instability: Low
Tolerance for Nonsense: Medium
Cowardliness: Above Average

[ ]

Spoiler: Splatter Phoenix

Avant-garde artistic villain known for power over paintings and spontaneous criminal acts against those who offend her artistic sensibilities.

Pragmatism: Very High
Quirkiness: High
Instability: Very High
Tolerance for Nonsense: High
Taste in Art: Eclectic

[ ] Officially Rejoin the US Government
DC 140

Okay. So. Apparently a lot of people are upset about the whole 'tin pot dictator in the middle of the country' thing. You suppose you might possibly try to technically officially rejoin the Union in order to calm them down. The downside is, of course, that sort of, kind of, technically, you wouldn't be Supreme Ruler of the Tri-State Area anymore?

Technor did raise some good points about your inferiority complex manifesting itself in negative ways, and the government is back to full strength… but still, do you really want to give this up? You'll really need to think about this.

Note that the DC for this roll represents not convincing the government or other parties to agree to it, but getting Doofenshmirtz to consider the idea in the first place.

Council Outlook: 4/5 (Pass)
Coyote: Oh, I'm staying out of this one. (Abstain)
Goofy: What're you talkin' about? We're in the middle of the US! (Pass)
Janus Lee: You can lay off of the marketing gimmicks, doctor. (Pass)
Mirage: I would suggest treading carefully around the US government. (Pass)
Ludivine: Wait a sekond. You're tellin' me we've been goin' around sayin' we're a country?! Dat's crazy! Was it for tax reasons? (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: If you give them back your land, then you won't have it anymore! Don't do that! (Veto)

Outcome: Massive opinion boost with the federal government, reduction in pro-federal loyalty maluses

[ ] Establish corporate ties with Glomgold Enterprises
DC 70

Glomgold Enterprises is the largest and most profitable company on the planet, bar none. Obtaining some link between our industries and theirs is certain to result in profit in the long run, provided we act shrewdly enough with their notoriously stingy CEO. He has recently approached us offhand at the Olympia fundraiser, so it may be possible he's willing to make the first move.

Council Outlook: 4/5
Coyote: Oh, very well. The man is a miser but we could take advantage of this deal. (Pass)
Goofy: Oh, he's messed with my friend Donald more times'n I can count! Don' trust 'im! (Veto)
Janus Lee: Glomgold has his fingers in everything, we can take advantage of this. (Pass)
Mirage: He approached me informally with a deal, so we don't even have to play hardball. (Pass)
Ludivine: Ah, an opportunity to show up my clone. Perfect! (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: Wait, you have a clone? I want a clone! (Abstain)

Outcome: Basic ties established with Glomgold Enterprises, collaborations possible

[ ] Establish corporate ties with Khan Industries
DC 70

Khan Industries has a near monopoly on the oil industry in the States, and his recent diversification into fusion energy has proven immensely profitable as well as environmentally conscious. Working closer with the tiger would be beneficial.

Council Outlook: 5/5 (Pass)
Coyote: As one predator to another, I'm sure we could speak as equals. (Pass)
Goofy: He feels like he'd drive a hard bargain. I dunno. (Abstain)
Janus Lee: We might be able to work out some sort of deal with our stake in the petrochemical industry, as small as it is. (Pass)
Mirage: There are opportunities here. He's not up to anything as far as I can tell, beyond the usual. (Pass)
Ludivine: He scares me. (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: Oooh, a Rakshasa. I see you like to live dangerously. (Pass)

Outcome: Corporate ties established with Khan Industries, collaborations possible

[ ] Campaign for Flubber
DC 220

Flubber is an undeniably useful tool, but it's got one heck of a bad reputation among the general public. Not surprising considering how most people believe it to be responsible for the destruction of an entire island chain. While this is admittedly a concern, it's nowhere near as bad as the public has been led to believe. With some educational videos and a massive PR campaign, you should be able to reduce the effects of any of your further Flubber research.

Unfortunately Flubber seems to be back in the public eye again, and not in a good way. Ever since Judge Doom donated a big paycheck to a surprisingly legitimate charity foundation, public opinion of the exotic substance has been at an all-time low.

(Outcome: -2 Funds, Public opinion malus for Flubber actions greatly reduced)

Council Outlook: 1/6 (Veto)
Coyote: Oh good heavens, no. Not even me. (Veto)
Goofy: That's the super-dangerous stuff that destroyed Hawaii! We really shouldn't even look at it funny. (Veto)
Janus Lee: Flubber has some interesting potential but the public blowback and physical risk is too great to consider. No. (Veto)
Mirage: No. (Veto)
Ludivine: I tink its worth eet. (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: I don't know too much about this stuff, but it sounds like it has a habit of blowing up in your face and that explosion blowing up your country too. Soooo… it seems like a bad idea, even for me. (Veto)

[ ] Form a Research Agreement with the Government
DC 100/Variable

The Feds have all sorts of think tanks and research institutes and so on and such forths to learn and study and make bombs and whatever. But they've never seen genius quite like you!

-[ ] With the Imagination Institute
DC 85

The Imagination Institute is an organization formed to study 'the Anthrofictus genus and related sub-clades'. You're only about 70% sure what that means, but it sounds neat!

By taking this action, you will be able to collaborate with a King on an action they are interested in. You'll still have to take that action yourself, but you will receive the bonus of the king or one of their hero units (whichever is higher) on the relevant roll. Of course, you will have to share the spoils of your efforts as well…

The DC of this action is like that of Assault a Rival- once you suggest a specific issue to speak about, I'll estimate a DC for the following action for you.

Council Outlook: 4/6
Coyote: Why, what a fascinating field of study. Do tell me how your investigations proceed. (Pass)
Goofy: Makes sense ta me. (Pass)
Janus Lee: Oh very well, but don't let them dictate too much. Funding always comes with a price. (Pass)
Mirage: This seems like a fascinating vanity project, but we do have more important things to focus on. (Veto)
Ludivine: Yes yes, let me attem, we'll do so much it'll make your tailfethas spin! (Very Pass)
Malifishmirtz: You want to study how people imagine things. That's called magic! (Veto)

Outcome: Collaboration unlocked

[ ] Try to Collaborate with the Government on an Issue
DC 100/Variable

So, you should probably try to play nice with the feds. Like it or not, they do have a lot of power, soft and hard, and there are a lot of things you can probably accomplish if you can put your pride aside enough to work with them.

Don't expect them to be any happier about it than you are, though.

By taking this action, you will be able to collaborate with a King on an action they are interested in. You'll still have to take that action yourself, but you will receive the bonus of the king or one of their hero units (whichever is higher) on the relevant roll. Of course, you will have to share the spoils of your efforts as well…

The DC of this action is like that of Assault a Rival- once you suggest a specific issue to speak about, I'll estimate a DC for the following action for you.

Council Outlook: 4/5 (pass)
Coyote: No real objections. (Pass)
Goofy: This is all a bit over ma head fellers. (Pass)
Janus Lee: It would be foolish to pass up on a chance to get some government funding, and its not research so I hardly care if it comes with strings. (Pass)
Mirage: A good start to normalizing our situation (Pass)
Ludivine: Call me when we get to de Learning Actions, I'm taking a nap. (Abstain)
Malifishmirtz: Wait a minute, aren't these the guys who say you're not actually ruler of your own country? Don't waste your time with them! (Veto)

Outcome: Collaboration unlocked

[ ] Form a Research Agreement with Drakktech
DC 90

Drakktech has firmly entrenched itself in several industries that we have little presence in, so it may be advantageous to work on research together. The last several months of work on the Pavarti system and the Prometheus Aeronautics space elevator have proven themselves more than competent.

By taking this action, you will be able to collaborate with a King on a research topic they are interested in. You'll still have to take that action yourself, but you will receive the bonus of the king or one of their hero units (whichever is higher) on the relevant roll. Of course, you will have to share the spoils of your efforts as well…

Council Outlook: 5/6 Pass
Coyote: Go ahead Doctor, I've no opinion. (Pass)
Goofy: Shego's a little rough around the edges, but I'm sure she's good at heart. (Pass)
Janus Lee: I understand they have a geneticist on staff. (Pass)
Mirage: Drakktech has proven themselves reliable on the national stage. (Pass)
Ludivine: Go for it. I want to see what dey have coohking. (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: Don't let them take our research! And don't let them take your ideas either! (Veto)

Outcome: Collaborative research action unlocked, Potential for improved relations

[ ] Try to Collaborate With Shego on an Issue
DC 90/Variable

There's lots of problems you can think of that would be much easier to solve alongside a terrifying super woman with plasma hands. The hard part will be getting Shego to see it that way.

By taking this action, you will be able to collaborate with a King on an action they are interested in. You'll still have to take that action yourself, but you will receive the bonus of the king or one of their hero units (whichever is higher) on the relevant roll. Of course, you will have to share the spoils of your efforts as well…

The DC of this action is like that of Assault a Rival- once you suggest a specific issue to speak about, I'll estimate a DC for the following action for you.

-[ ] On the Drug Trade
(Unlocked action will have DC 230)

All these superpowered drugs have got you nervous. Now that you know the perpetrators are a lot more sophisticated than they let on, your concerns about them weaseling their way into your territory are back. Finding and dealing with their Wasteland safehouses will be a challenge, let alone getting to whoever's at the top, but maybe this would be a good chance to show Shego some genuine cooperation in dealing with a shared issue.

Council Outlook: 5/…5? (Pass)

Coyote: Didn't we just talk about this? (Pass)
Goofy: Ah swear I'm seein' double. (Pass)
Janus Lee: For god's sake, research is not the same as a new brand of potato chip! Pay attention! (Pass)
Mirage: Allowances must be made, Janus. (Pass)
Ludivine: Allowances? Is dat what we're calling the money we give to Doof? (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: What's a Shego? (...Abstain?)

Outcome: Collaborative action unlocked, Potential for improved relations

[ ] Form a Research Agreement with Xanatos
DC 90

Now that you've established formal relations between DEI and Xanatos Enterprises, it's probably time to take advantage of them. You like science, he has people that can like science for him... Set up another meeting with the man and see what you can get up to together!


By taking this action, you will be able to collaborate with a King on a research topic they are interested in. You'll still have to take that action yourself, but you will receive the bonus of the king or one of their hero units (whichever is higher) on the relevant roll. Of course, you will have to share the spoils of your efforts as well…

If this option succeeds, there will be a vote later on for specific collaboration options.

Council Outlook: 3/5
Coyote: I don't trust a man whose schemes do not blow up in his face. (Veto)
Goofy: He serves a mean dinner! (Pass)
Janus Lee: I want to get my hands on Gen-U-Tech research. (Pass)
Mirage: I can't make an informed decision about working with him at this time. It's more than apparent that the man has motives we cannot guess at. (Abstain)
Ludivine: I don't like his shoes. (Veto)
Malifishmirtz: He has a castle on his building, just like you! Of course we should work with him! (Pass)

Outcome: Collaborative research action unlocked

[ ] Try to Collaborate With Xanatos on an Issue
DC Variable

There's definitely a lot going on in the world that affects you both. If you want to start building towards greater cooperation, it might be a good idea to talk to Xanatos about any potential issues you both face, or a possible point of conflict you'd like to nip in the bud.


By taking this action, you will be able to collaborate with a King on an action they are interested in. You'll still have to take that action yourself, but you will receive the bonus of the king or one of their hero units (whichever is higher) on the relevant roll. Of course, you will have to share the spoils of your efforts as well…

The DC of this action is like that of Assault a Rival- once you suggest a specific issue to speak about, I'll estimate a DC for the following action for you.

Council Outlook: 5/5 (Pass)
Coyote: The man is certainly influential… (Pass)
Goofy: Mr. Xanatos has a lot of great ideas an' we could help him out with some of 'em! (Pass)
Janus Lee: Xanatos has most media on the east coast under his control, he could certainly help us with one of our issues. (Pass)
Mirage: I still can't guess as to Xanatos' motives or how he'll use us to further his own ends. (Abstain)
Ludivine: His haihcut, on de udda hand! (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: He's still got a castle! We should still work with him. (Pass)

Outcome: Collaborative action unlocked, Potential for improved relations

[ ] Form a Research Agreement with the Zaibatsu
DC 100

Now that you have links to each of the big three megacorps that dominate west coast production, you can take advantage of it to collaborate on whatever issue has you tied up in knots. Your cooperation will extend to whichever Zaibatzu is focused on the topic you are reaching out for- Bakaemono for robotics and electronics, Funtelligence for AI, or Sycorax for genetics.


By taking this action, you will be able to collaborate with a King on a research topic they are interested in. You'll still have to take that action yourself, but you will receive the bonus of the king or one of their hero units (whichever is higher) on the relevant roll. Of course, you will have to share the spoils of your efforts as well…


If this option succeeds, there will be a vote later on for specific collaboration options.

Council Outlook: 4/6
Coyote: Very well, I do see the potential. (Pass)
Goofy: Why not? (Pass)
Janus Lee: I feel like a broken record, but I see opportunities with Sycorax. (Pass)
Mirage: I have some concerns, but we will not know more without further effort. (Pass)
Ludivine: I refuse to interact with any firm that named themselves 'Funtelligence'. (Veto)
Malifishmirtz: I do not know what a Zaibatsu is! What is that, nipponese? And what do you mean I have to go to sensitivity training?!? (Veto)

Outcome: Collaborative research action unlocked, Potential for improved relations

[ ] Form a Research Agreement with Olympia
DC 75

Devtech originally made telecommunications, and as inheritors of Kronos they of course also master a wide variety of robotics. A collaboration in those areas would be fruitful.

By taking this action, you will be able to collaborate with a King on a research topic they are interested in. You'll still have to take that action yourself, but you will receive the bonus of the king or one of their hero units (whichever is higher) on the relevant roll. Of course, you will have to share the spoils of your efforts as well…

Council Outlook: 4/5 (Pass)
Coyote: Certainly. (Pass)
Goofy: Let's work with our friends. (Pass)
Janus Lee: Olympia is all but dead in the water. Our time is better spent elsewhere. (Veto)
Mirage: They have a history of robotics research that could compliment our strides (Pass)
Ludivine: Bring me tha killah robots! (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: What, those jerks in Makedon? I hate them. They act so high and mighty, just because they're high and mighty. Whatever happened to them anyway? And why do they make golems now? (Abstain)

Outcome: Collaborative action unlocked, Potential for improved relations


[ ] Try to Collaborate With Olympia on an Issue
DC 30, Variable

After all you've been through, you don't anticipate much issue.

By taking this action, you will be able to collaborate with a King on an action they are interested in. You'll still have to take that action yourself, but you will receive the bonus of the king or one of their hero units (whichever is higher) on the relevant roll. Of course, you will have to share the spoils of your efforts as well…

The DC of this action is like that of Assault a Rival- once you suggest a specific issue to speak about, I'll estimate a DC for the following action for you.

Council Outlook: 4/6 (Pass)
Coyote: I see no reason not to. Down is not out! (Pass)
Goofy: Let's work with our friends. (Pass)
Janus Lee: Olympia is all but dead in the water. Our time is better spent elsewhere. (Veto)
Mirage: …Yes. I think we should. (Pass)
Ludivine: Oh shoour. I'd love an aftanoon in Vegas wunna dese days. (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: I'm telling you, we're not ready for the Olympians. (Veto)

Outcome: Collaboration unlocked

Spoiler: Stewardship Actions

[ ] Shore up Olympia
DC 125

If we so choose, we could instead throw our resources behind the heir apparent of Olympia, Winston Deavor. Having the implicit backing of another megacorp is likely to keep Winston shielded from the brunt of the chaos and allow him to solidify his newfound leadership, but it would come at the expense of our own time and money with little apparent benefit save for goodwill.

Council Outlook: 1/3 (Veto)
Coyote: Seems a touch… overly altruistic. (Veto)
Goofy: We should help a friend in need! (Pass)
Janus Lee: I admire the impulse but this isn't worth it. (Veto)
Mirage: I… it's not the most profitable move, but I can't bring myself to go against it. (Abstain)
Ludivine: Call me when we heah what sorta tech dey got. (Abstain)
Malifishmirtz: Ick, helping people for free. I guess if you're sure you can get some use out of it… maybe. (Abstain)

Outcome: Significantly improve Winston's position as head of Olympia, lessen instability, raises DC of anti-Olympia actions for other factions. If no Olympia aid actions are taken, Olympia will enter a power struggle this turn.

[ ] Rebuild Sinatron
DC 70

Another option for dealing with Olympia would be in rebuilding Sinatron's body. The AI was apparently behind most of the actions leading to Evelyn's exposure and downfall, and while he digitally survived the evening he lacks a physical presence in the boardroom. While he's likely to get around to this eventually, returning him to play early would most likely allow him to cement his influence over the company, and probably show some gratitude for what we've done for him as well.

Council Outlook: 4/6 (Pass)
Coyote: I always wanted an opportunity to work with the doppelganger tech… (Pass)
Goofy: Well, Mr. Sinatron did do his best to take down Evelyn. Guess we could do him a favor in turn. (Pass)
Janus Lee: He's still alive. He'll get his own body in time, there's no need for us to do it for him. (Veto)
Mirage: I… suppose we should do something, at least. (Pass)
Ludivine: Shure, sownds like a fun aftanoon! (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: Why don't you just build a new golem instead of trying to make a body for the old one? (Veto)

Outcome: Significantly improves Sinatron's standing in Olympia; if no Olympia aid actions are taken, Olympia enters a power struggle this turn.

[ ] Poach Olympia resources
DC 90

Olympia is once again in shambles after its CEO was revealed to be a homicidal maniac. Half the board claims to have been mind controlled by Ms. Deavor and no one can get their story straight. If we so choose, it would be a good time to snatch up people jumping off the sinking ship- if we don't, our competitors certainly will.

Council Outlook: 3/5 (Pass)
Coyote: Ah, so it's all been a cunning ruse. Of course! (Pass)
Goofy: Absolutely not, Mr. Deavor trusts us! (Veto)
Janus Lee: If we don't take advantage of this, someone else will. It'll happen either way, so why not make sure things go in our favor? (Pass)
Mirage: I… would not suggest taking such a rash action against a potential ally. (Veto)
Ludivine: Yeah whatevva, get me a coffee on the way back ya? (Abstain)
Malifishmirtz: They have stuff you want. And now we have a chance to take it! Simple, right? (Pass)
Outcome: Choice of resources to take from Olympia, Olympia weakened

[ ] Move Your Brand into Idaho
DC 120

Idaho has long been the weakest link of Olympia's influence just as it had been for their predecessor. A relatively low and spread out population and vast amounts of farmland meant that the corporation couldn't keep a stranglehold on the industries and cities like it was able to elsewhere. With the upper management in chaos following the second disastrous gala, Idaho is vulnerable for economic exploitation, if not by us then definitely by our competitors. So many subsidiaries we can snap up, so many stores to rebrand!

Council Outlook: 4/5 (Pass)
Coyote: This doesn't seem particularly interesting. (Abstain)
Goofy: We shouldn't be makin' Mr. Deavor weaker at all! (Veto)
Janus Lee: I'd suggest going for the more direct approach as well, but this works to lessen their influence. (Pass)
Mirage: I suppose it's better than letting whoever has the wherewithal buy out half the stores in the state. (Pass)
Ludivine: What, doez two-penny loaf-arounders? Dere components are yestaday's junk. I don' care, do whaddeva. (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: Yes! Glorious conquest! …of storefronts. I guess. Better than nothing! (Pass)

Outcome: Strengthens our standing in [Retail & Wholesale], further destabilizes Olympia, prevents other factions from doing the same if successful

[ ] Charity drives (Goofy suggested action)
DC 100

DEI offers everyone in Danville three free meals per week at our charity drives, though they are somewhat unpopular due to their lack of palatability and choices. While this did a fair bit to stave off the worst during the food crisis, with the restructuring of supply lines and overall amelioration of the Breadbasket Collapse, our charities are seeing less and less activity from citizens and more and more vagrants. Goofy suggests that we could expand our offerings and variety, offering the chance for more people to get what they need. This would come at a cost, of course, and garner us little more than goodwill.

Council Outlook: 1/5 (Veto)
Coyote: It's a good look for us, if we're willing to put in the money. (Abstain)
Goofy: Helpin' people should be what we do best, and we should keep doin' it! (Pass)
Janus Lee: I'm not saying that we should cut our current charity programs, but expanding them to this degree is not profitable. (Veto)
Mirage: Agreed. Perhaps instead we could revamp the soup kitchens? That won't be a constant drain on our budget. (Veto)
Ludivine: You know what, I'm feelin' a leetle Sqwoogey today. No soup for dem! (Veto)
Malifishmirtz: AHAHAHAHAHA, AHAHAHa, ahaha. Giving things. To serfs. For free??? Who thought of that?!?! (Veto)

Outcome: -3 income, public opinion increase

[ ] Hold a Powerline concert
DC 90

Powerline is still a little gimmicky but his concerts have a surprising amount of staying power despite coming straight out of the early 2000s. He seems to have remembered an experience he and Goofy's son shared on stage, displaying some interest in setting up a concert in Danville. You can speed things along with a few letters to the Performing Arts Center.

Council Outlook: 4/6 (Pass)

Coyote: How plebian. (Veto)
Goofy: I remember him! He let me and Maxie dance up on stage! Let's put on another concert and see if he still remembers us! (Pass)
Janus Lee: Not to my personal taste, but it's money in our pocket. (Pass)
Mirage: I would prefer something a bit more long-lasting in terms of investment, but it's not a worthless premise. (Pass)
Ludivine: [Trying to hide Powerline T-shirt] Well, a-hehe, I don't see why not. (Pass)
Malifishmertz: Sounds loud and unpleasant. Pass! I mean, Veto! Whatever! (Veto)

Outcome: +3 funds

[ ] Develop Civilian AI
DC 120

There are many things an artificial intelligence can do that a comparable human is simply less efficient at. A suggested use for our newfound powers of creation is to simply design intelligences, place them in front of useful problems, and… see what happens. This would neatly handle most of the issues inherent in the act, as you would neither be selling thinking beings nor putting weapons in their hands. Instead, you'd have a pretty-much free-willed robot managing your stock allocations, calibrating your delicate instruments, possibly, eventually, even robot surgeons more precise than any human! It will… take a while to set up, though, since you'll basically be screening for and then promoting those glimmers of sentience that seem to be the start of the whole shebang in a much more.. humane? manner than more profitable options.

Council Outlook: 3/5 (Pass)

Coyote: Hrm. Well, I've not had the best track record with automatons, howeverrr… (Abstain)
Goofy: Sounds great! I'd love to have some new pals around. (Pass)
Janus Lee: Doctor, this would be an enormous waste of such a breakthrough. Please, take the sensible option and profit off of this. Think of everything we could do! (Veto)
Mirage: Very well, but I must insist we take appropriate precautions. (Pass)
Ludivine: Ken we hurry dis up? Marsy has a rotor buffing at four. (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: Pfft, treat golems like people. Pfft. C'mon. (Veto)

Outcome: -2 Funds, Income increase? Reduced DCs? Efficiency traits? More? Results will take time to manifest.

[ ] Develop Consumer AI
DC 110

Commercializing AI and distributing it to people for use in the home is a far easier application than attempting to adapt it for military use. All the AI would need to do is be accommodating to interacting with people and performing whatever tasks they are assigned without any objections. This of course brings up the issue of selling what are essentially thinking beings… although there are many who wouldn't see that as a problem. There are very few laws on record that deal with AIs in the first place, and certainly none that grant them full rights.

Council Outlook: 4/5 (Pass)

Coyote: I'm sure it won't be an issue. If they end up disliking their roles, they can always just rebel. (Pass)
Goofy: I won't stand for it, no sir. (Veto)
Janus Lee: It's worth it Doctor, I assure you. With these in every home, we could do untold good for humanity, not only directly but through the resulting funding as well. (Pass)
Mirage: I'm not a scientist or a philosopher, Doctor. I'll withhold my judgment for the professionals. (Abstain)
Ludivine: [pounding an Ottakringer] I see no problems at all! (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: Yeah sure go for it. (Pass)

Outcome: Gain +7 Income. Public Opinion Increase. AI sold.

[ ] Research the market
DC 90, 120 for Underworld

DEI's corporate restructuring has uprooted a lot of inefficiencies in the system and brought us around to functionality once again. Unfortunately this means that various acts of crucial market research have long been overlooked, requiring further investigation to understand our rivals' standings and our comparison to them.

Choose one:
-[ ] East Coast
-[ ] Central US
-[ ] West Coast
-[ ] Underworld

Council Outlook: 3/5 (Pass)
Coyote: Know thy enemy! (Pass)
Goofy: Uhhhhh… (Abstain)
Janus Lee: Yes, a likely necessary step if we are to direct our attention efficiently. (Pass)
Mirage: When we have the time, doctor. Certainly before a major expansion of any kind, lest we run headfirst into a monopoly. (Pass)
Ludivine: Back! Back! Keep doze spreadsheets away from me! (Veto)
Malifishmirtz: Just use divination! (Veto)

Outcome: Gain knowledge of all industry factions in the relevant region.

[ ] Revamp Bueno Nacho
DC 125

Bolton Gramercy managed the impossible and turned Bueno Nacho into a decent restaurant! All it took was the removal of every single recipe and piece of equipment inside the restaurant and a four-day fumigation. You're kind of looking at a 'Taco of Theseus' situation here, since barely anything other than the foundation is still original, but you'll take what you can get. Anyway, there's a lot of PR work to do to overcome the decades of bad press and chronic heartburn, and that falls on your shoulders.


Council Outlook: 2/6 (Veto)
Coyote: The Grease may be gone, but the smell lingers. (Veto)
Goofy: That day Maxie and I stopped in a Bueno Nacho was the worst day of our trip. I'm never goin' back and neither should you! (Veto)
Janus Lee: Absolutely not. (Veto)
Mirage: Janus and I are on the same page. (Veto)
Ludivine: Cheap, terrible food is the foundational right of all sentient college students. (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: I've always wanted to see a dead leyline in person. I mean, I can't since I require magic to exist, but still. (Pass)

Outcome: Bueno Nacho becomes a passable restaurant, but it is only one restaurant. This does not represent a significant investiture into the restaurant sector, nor will it have a noticeable effect on public opinion. Option to try and retool Bueno Nacho into a real brand again (if you want???????)

[ ] Implement Large Herbivore Exhibits
DC 120

Attendance to Doofrasic Park has effectively peaked, while dinosaurs are still considered 'cool' the park hasn't seen the meteoric rise in attendance that it has in the early days. Introducing some new exhibits of large herbivores would be sure to attract new customers, and Glomgold's offer of expanding the park into a franchise is very tempting.

Council Outlook: 3/3 (Pass)
Coyote: The potential for comedic shenanigans is too great. I refuse to involve myself. (Abstain)
Goofy: Garsh, now that'd be a sight to see. (Pass)
Janus Lee: Both a logical financial choice and a fascinating endeavor. (Pass)
Mirage: Our pocketbook will thank you, Doctor. As may Glomgold, and he hoards thanks almost as much as gold. (Pass).
Ludivine: Oooh, shure. I'll get on dat once I finish de undawatah tennis racket, and de artificial poupon flavoring, an… (Abstain)
Malifishmirtz: I've made worse. (Abstain)

Outcome: Doofrasic Park income increases

[ ] Make DoofOS compatible with DaedalOS
DC 120

DoofOS, crippled by viruses and bereft of an update, has dwindled to the scantest fraction of its userbase in recent days- and while DaedalOS has its own small niche it is unable to stack up to ENCOM. Taking the time to make DoofOS compatible with the new operating system might… please the few thousands of people that still use it, but there are no major benefits to be made from this.

Council Outlook: 0/5 (Veto)
Coyote: It's time to move on, I'm afraid. (Veto)
Goofy: I don't know too much about computers, but that old OS sure is giving people a lot of problems, and Mr. Deavor's guys helped us build a new one. (Veto)
Janus Lee: Don't invest the time and money into a dead OS. We should move on to more important projects. (Veto)
Mirage: DoofOS has seen its heyday and there is no reason to continue supporting it. (Veto)
Ludivine: I tried to open de command prompt on DoofOS once. Et insulted me. Nevah again. (Veto)
Malifishmirtz: What's an OS? (Abstain)

Outcome: DaedalOS becomes reverse compatible with DoofOS, your attempts to maintain relevance in the computer market don't even attract the attention of ENCOM.

[ ] Clear the name of Bonkers Bobcat
DC 150

Bonkers Bobcat has technically been evading justice for months on end, and while much of the hype around the murder of Alonso Hawk has died down, he can never walk as a free toon again unless this entire debacle gets cleared up. Mostly this will amount to providing Bonkers with financial and legal aid enough to prove reasonable doubt and ensure that he gets the fairest trial possible. That'll be difficult in Doomtown, but between our corporate influence and the extremely blatant framejob, it is quite possible.

Council Outlook: 3/4 (Pass)
Coyote: In the name of our brethren, it must be done! (Pass)
Goofy: Let's show em' there's still some justice left in Hollywood! (Pass)
Janus Lee: Not worth the time. (Veto)
Mirage: I'll… defer to your expertise, Doctor. (Abstain)
Ludivine: Yes yes, if only so he stops trying to complete my punchlines. (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: What's a bobcat? Are they like ocelots? (Abstain)

Outcome: -1 Funds. Bonkers Bobcat is cleared of all charges!

…but who was the real culprit?

[ ] Litigate against Mark Beaks
DC ???

This is probably a bad idea. Roger told you, Mirage told you, all of the bean counters told you, but you can't just sit by and let someone make fun of you like that! Take that stupid parrot to court and sue him for everything he owns!

Council Outlook: This is a bad idea 3/6 (Pass)
Coyote: Pursuant to the general history of anti-defamation suits, I think we might actually have a case. (Pass)
Goofy: This is gettin' a little silly. (Veto)
Janus Lee: Litigate for what? Calling you mean names? (Veto)
Mirage: We have no case and would be burning a lot of money and goodwill while trying to find one. (Veto)
Ludivine: He insulted your work? Let 'im have it! (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: This would be an excellent prelude. That way he won't expect when we burn his house down again! (Pass)

Outcome: Lose ??? funds, public opinion decrease, excruciatingly minor possibility of a settlement)

[ ] Study Diecast Robotics
DC 130

The state of the robots recovered from the Midwest Exclusion Zone suggest a proprietary method to mass-produce robots both quickly and cheaply, with all the quality that implies. It will take some research to figure out the specifics of the method, but putting it into practice will greatly accelerate our supply lines if we're willing to sacrifice quality for quantity.

Council Outlook: 3/6 (Pass)
Coyote: Ah, the sweet smell of mass production. (Pass)
Goofy: Wouldn't it make more sense to focus on creatin' a couple real nice robots instead of a whole buncha crummy ones? (Veto)
Janus Lee: I can understand the need for mass production in the modern industry. (Pass)
Mirage: The potential value is probably worth the investment. (Pass)
Ludivine: This does not advance your Greevil Agenda, Doctor. (Veto)
Malifishmirtz: You want to make metal golems instead of flesh meatlings? How could my own descendant betray me like this?! (Veto)

Outcome: Slight income improvement, potential for further growth in [Advanced Robotics]. Major investors are likely anticipating competition from us in this field. We should expect pushback of some sort.

[ ] Establish a Bakaemono Supply Chain
DC 90

Bakaemono has officially offered to begin supplying DEI with advanced materials manufacturing and production solutions, given that they are the recognized industry leader in advanced robotics. The materials they provide, such as circuit boards and microprocessors, are distinct enough from our own widget production that furthering ties would be beneficial for us both. Pursuing this deal is likely to shift the power balance in the Zaibatsu triad ever so slightly in Bakaemono's favor as well as strengthening their position in [Advanced Robotics].

Council Outlook: 2/4 (Pass)
Coyote: I would prefer to work on our interior supply chain, honestly. I have a brilliant idea with falling crates. (Veto)
Goofy: I'm not cut out for this sorta stuff. (Abstain)
Janus Lee: Cutting costs in a few areas would free up some income for other investments. (Pass)
Mirage: While I would appreciate the chance to understand them a bit better, I am… unsure about the merits of tying ourselves to them at this time. (Abstain)
Ludivine: I suppose I could use a few new circuit boards for de robot. (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: You're making someone else stronger? Bad idea! (Veto)

Outcome: Increased income per fiscal year, potential for improved relations, certain actions related to robotic production or consumer goods will reduce in DC

[ ] Expand your contractors
DC 100

So. While you were on ice, Mirage has taken the liberty of 'reorganizing every single thing about your employment structure before we get sued.' Her words. Your 'unconventional' method to recruiting employees has been 'grossly inefficient' and 'probably illegal', so things have been reworked to a significant degree.

Contractors are the term for those weird employees who don't fully work for you all the time but still stick around enough for you to justify their expense. Sometimes. Like did you know you were paying that Tom kid six figures? Because Mirage sure didn't! Boy, was she mad. Mind you we were never able to figure out the Devil's address, because Janna didn't want to share her Satan book, so the checks are just sort of bursting out of his office mailbox. We can't take them back without it being 'wage garnishment' or something…

Council Outlook: 3/5 (Pass)
Coyote: Ah, I see! It's a cameo system. No one ever gets tired of cameos! (Pass)
Goofy: Not my forte, fellas. (Abstain)
Janus Lee: *mutters something about deniable assets* (Pass)
Mirage: Please. (Pass)
Ludivine: I refuse to support this until I am also given six figures. (Veto) (she gets seven)
Malifishmirtz: What's the point of hiring people if you don't have complete and direct control over their lives? (Veto)

Outcome: Increase your Contractor pool by 5.

[ ] Sponsor SPLIT/SECOND
DC 80

Janus' favorite non-genetics idea has returned with a vengeance. He's submitted another proposal for an incredibly chaotic and mayhem-filled racing show called SPLIT/SECOND, a anything goes race with the only rule being that there are no rules. He seems to have planned this out to an astonishing degree, all we really need to do is provide the funding and fill out the legal paperwork. He promises that it will be one of the greatest shows of all time!

Council Outlook: 6/6
Coyote: Is already designing his vehicle (You can see the thought bubble)(Pass)
Goofy: Can I join?
Max: No!
Janus Lee: How did you get in-
Max: You need to trust me on this. (Pass)
Janus Lee: It's an entirely valid financial decision. (Pass)
Mirage: I… suppose? (Pass)
Ludivine: I will contribute all weaponry necessary with a 50% discount. So long as I get salvage rights. (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: It'll be just like the gladiator games they used to hold down at the Drusselstein Vomitorium! (Pass)

Outcome: SPLIT/SECOND show established, moderate income increase, moderate public opinion increase

[ ] Comedize your Supply Line
DC 100
Max: Wait, hold on. 'Vomitorium' just means entrance.
Malifishmertz: Yeah. What's your point?
Janus Lee: This is a secure area, we need to know how you got in here.
Max: Oh. Oh god. I'm doing the toon thing again.
Janus Lee: That explains nothing.
Ludivine: Well, if you'll direkt your attention to de next paragraph…

ACME's express delivery service can move goods vast distances in short amounts of time, but unfortunately it relies on strict comedic timing, and even then, it can prove notoriously unreliable. There may be some profit to be made in expanding their service to non-ACME products, but we shouldn't expect it to be industry redefining or even give us a significant leg up in the market- Coyote is already running the numbers on how to make shipping funny and isn't coming up with all that much.

Council Outlook: 3/4
Coyote: Hrm. Perhaps some sort of pun with boats falling from the sky… (Pass)
Goofy: How 'bout 'Express Shipping'? (Pass)
Janus Lee: I don't see much of an advantage to this over the transportation already out there. Do we really want our supply lines to be delayed if someone can't take a joke? (Veto)
Mirage: It does seem unreliable. Maybe I'm missing something… (Abstain)
Ludivine: If a ting's worth doing it's worth doing unreliably. To de future! (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: I don't get it. Can someone tell the joke again? Slower. (Abstain)

Outcome: +1 income, -2 funds

[ ] Develop a New Social Media Platform
DC 160

ENCOM's 'The Grid' has cemented itself as the dominant form of social media in the world today. Their surprisingly user friendly design has won them millions of users and widespread fame. Attempting to break into the market would be enormously difficult and a fairly pointless approach from this angle.

Council Outlook: 1/3 (Veto)
Coyote: Aha, another means to reach the common man. (Pass)
Goofy: Didn't we already try that? I still remember that creepy midroll ad for Judge Doom… (Veto)
Janus Lee: You could not pay me to care about this. And you are. (Abstain)
Mirage: It's not our strong suit doctor, but if you insist… (Abstain)
Ludivine: If I have to sign up to yet anodda of your accounts I swear to heaven I will burn down your servers myself. (Veto)
Malifishmirtz: Look of glazed incomprehension. (Abstain)

Outcome: Investment in [Mass Media] increases with the likelihood for further growth. Major investors in this field are likely to take notice.

[ ] Improve Recycling Programs
DC 45

This is one of the oldest and simplest ideas in Doofenshmirtz's records, but it is ultimately little more than a massive community outreach program to encourage recycling by means of interactive trashcans. We could expect to see marginal improvements in the city, but if we really intend to make a difference on the environment our efforts would be better placed elsewhere.

Council Outlook: 2/5 (Veto)
Coyote: The environment is important, but this is really an issue for city hall. (Veto)
Goofy: Sounds like a great thing for the community! (Pass)
Janus Lee: Doofenshmirtz… please… (Veto)
Mirage: This matter is honestly not relevant at the time. (Abstain)
Ludivine: We should be using dose circuit boards to make death robots. Come back to me when we put lasers in de trashcans! (Veto)
Malifishmirtz: Lasers in trashcans… so we can shoot people who don't do what we say! (still doesn't understand) (Pass)

Outcome: 'Greevil' image increases overall, very marginal public opinion increase, some trashcans have (very simple) AIs to encourage recycling

[ ] Construct Robot Doppelganger
DC 70, may increase based on the AI requirements.

Olympia's personality replication technology remains viable even with advances into hard AI, and there are definitely uses for having a near-perfect AI doppelganger of someone around, sentient or not.

The big hurdle is the AI itself. If you're replicating someone, you need a profile. All their little nuances that make them them- what are their likes and dislikes, their voice, their inflections, the way they think and act? It all needs to go in before the doppelganger can go online. It will be expensive, both to profile the target to calibrate the AI's personality and to create a synthetic replica of a person, but at the end of the process you'll have a body that can pass for someone on the street, or someone famous, or whoever, really. There's a lot of possibilities.

-[ ] Specify a Doppelganger

Council Outlook: 4/5 (pass)
Coyote: Oh, imagine the schemes! (Pass)
Goofy: You're gonna have ta give me a good reason. (Abstain)
Janus Lee: I recommend a sitting senator. Maybe Eric Matthews. (Pass)
Mirage: This is a significant investment of time and money for not much discernible gain. If we want spies or double-agents it would be far easier to employ normal people. (Veto)
Ludivine: Don't need to tell me twice. Wait. Who do you want again? (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: Sounds evil. Approved. (Pass)

Outcome: -4 funds, doppelganger chassis constructed

[ ] Stop Paying Your Taxes
DC 260

There are a great many things we can do to gain more money that are, strictly speaking, quite illegal. This is a far more blatant approach than the tax evasion that most megacorporations take, but it is likely to get us more money in the short term… and a lot of negative attention from the government in the long term. This is a very bad idea.

Council Outlook: 1/6 (Veto)
Coyote: Good heavens, no! (Veto)
Goofy: I'm not messin' with the IRS! (Veto)
Janus Lee: Doctor. Commit tax fraud instead. (Veto)
Mirage: There are legal methods to avoid paying your taxes, Doctor. (Veto)
Ludivine: Not even me. (Veto)
Malifishmirtz: We're paying the Danegeld?!?! (Pass)

Outcome: +23 funds, remove the taxes line from your income statement, the US government becomes very angry with you, many hero units may decide to jump ship to avoid arrest

[ ] Attempt a hostile corporate takeover
DC varies depending on the corporation.

Olympia Corp DC 220, DrakkTech DC 345, ENCOM ???, Xanatos Enterprises DC ???, Khan Industries DC 300, Glomgold Enterprises ???, Sycorax DC 250, Funtelligence DC 270, Gen-U-Tech DC 240, Bakaemono Corporation DC 250, Cloverleaf Industries DC 340)

(DCs raised due to various successful and profitable actions taken, Olympia DC lowered due to recent events)
The ultimate declaration of hostile intent to nearly every other major player on the board is to undertake some backroom dealings with executives and acquire a majority of a major company whose leadership does not want to sell, voting out their current CEO and taking control for yourself. Even attempting this action is a clear indicator that you're unwilling to play nice; at best we could expect a halt to collaborations and at worst… further corporate skullduggery.

Council Outlook: Dependent on the company

Outcome: Weakens controller of rival corporation up to and including complete takeover, declares open corporate warfare to everyone.

[ ] Buy out a rival corporation
DC varies

There are some corporations that aren't rich enough to ignore you and lack the legal chops to fight a takeover, so you can just cut straight to the point and buy them out. Perfectly legal and on the level, and it won't even make you that many enemies! Descriptions provided for companies as needed.

Council Outlook: 5/5 (Pass)
Coyote: Presumably prudent. (Pass)
Goofy: I'll leave this to the professionals. (Abstain)
Janus Lee: Finally, some actual business. (Pass)
Mirage: Let's make a worthwhile investment. (Pass)
Ludivine: Ah, the increasing conglomeration of our economic sektahs into ever-fever vast corporations. Good for funding! (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: Does this involve as much violence as it used to? Only sometimes? Okay. (Pass)

Outcome: Acquisition of a corporation below.

Beware that rival conglomerates will also have the chance to pounce on opportunities you don't.

Choose One:
[ ] Hopper Food Group - Fast food conglomerate with multiple smaller restaurants under their North American banner.
Cost: 8 funds
Yearly Income: +3
DC 95

This increases our investment in [Restaurants]. There seems to be a lot of potential for development in this market.

[ ] WyndComm Enterprises - Civilian aeronautics company that constructs and launches satellites for commercial use. Has worked on contracts with government and private space programs in years prior. It might be a good way to jump-start any plans you might have.
Cost: 5 funds
Yearly Income: +1
DC 80

Spoiler: Intrigue Actions

[ ] Seed corporate sleeper agents
DC varies depending on the corporation. Xanatos Enterprises 120, Drakktech DC 98, Khan Industries DC 91, Glomgold Enterprises DC 92, Sycorax DC 93, Funtelligence DC 103, Bakaemono DC 108, ENCOM DC 140, NMEIZ 125, Cloverleaf Industries 88, Olympia Corp DC 86, Gen-U-Tech DC 105, Nightstone DC 126

(Crossed out corporations cannot be infiltrated due to lack of a network in the area)

The first step in infiltrating another faction, rather than infiltrating directly, is to insert a sleeper unit into a target company, ordering them to remain a loyal servant and work their way into the corporation- feeding information back to us, and preparing to strike.

Choose one: Assign your hero unit to cover operations (Hero unit will either infiltrate themselves or, if too conspicuous, directly support the operation. Assigning the hero unit will greatly increase the chance of positive events and potentially provide input on their choice, but will lose access to that unit until you extract them, likely ruining the network in the process)

Or

Do not assign the hero unit to active infiltration (hero unit still adds bonus but does not join long-term infiltration team, lower chance of positive events)

Council Outlook: 5/5 (Pass)
Coyote: A cunning infiltration! Marvelous! (Pass)
Goofy: Oh I get it. We're bein' sneaky. (Pass)
Janus Lee: Lay the foundation. (Pass)
Mirage: Please consider your targets carefully, Doctor. (Pass)
Ludivine: You need some soopah spy gadgets? I worked for SHUSH yoo know. (Abstain)
Malifishmirtz: I'll get the shepherds. (Pass)

(Outcome: Improved Rival Reports for the region including tier 1 knowledge, -25 to all relevant infiltration DCs that are behind security tiers.)

[ ] Hunt for Star
DC 400

It's about time you go hunting for Butterflies. Star's safety depends on her staying hidden, which means this is not going to be easy. And the closer we get to her, the more attention is drawn to where the Butterfly flaps her wings…

This is a Global Action. Global actions are high-DC actions that may be lowered by various personal actions or national actions, but the caveat is that this DC is reduced globally for every faction.

Council Outlook: 2/5 (Veto)
Coyote: An acceptable use of our time. (Pass)
Goofy: A promise is a promise. (Pass)
Janus Lee: I still find this all rather fantastical. I'm not denying the accuracy of your reports, but I question how worth it it is to get involved in this. (Veto)
Mirage: This is a lot of resources devoted to finding one person that we have no leads on. We need somewhere to start. (Veto)
Ludivine: [was busy getting coffee] (Abstain)
Malifishmirtz: Another magic user?! What, am I not good enough anymore?! (Veto)

Outcome: ???

[ ] Investigate Negaduck's plan
DC 160


Negaduck's planning… something. It involves lots of chemicals, and it's probably not good. Other than that, you barely know where to start, so maybe you could just send someone out after him? This has the potential to get dangerous.

Council Outlook: 4/6 (Pass)
Coyote: The duck is dangerous. Be careful, doctor. (Pass)
Goofy: This guy's the real deal Doctor D, trust me. (Pass)
Janus Lee: I hardly think this is our problem. (Veto)
Mirage: With respect, Doctor, I think it would be better to leave this to the professionals. (Veto)
Ludivine: Yes, yes yes! By all means, do anything you can to deal wit' the nutcase. (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: Sure, sounds fun! (Pass)

Outcome: Information on Negaduck's plan, potential to influence it at great risk

[ ] Steal the Odd Robot
DC 143
Fallback Martial DC 130

Dr. Drakken seems to have come into possession of a unique sort of robot, the make and model of which he could not determine- nor could we after analyzing the scant details he gave up at dinner. It's a coin flip as to whether or not this is actually worth anything, but it obviously represents a key point of interest for Drakktech, one that could be… acquired for our own use.

Council Outlook: 3/6 (Pass)
Coyote: Stealing others' technology is the foundational right of being a supervillain! (Pass)
Goofy: It sounds like Dr. Drakken found that thing fair and square. We shouldn't really mess with it. (Veto)
Janus Lee: This seems like a high risk for a low chance of reward. Our efforts are better spent elsewhere. (Veto)
Mirage: I don't see any value here, if I'm being frank. (Veto)
Ludivine: Oooh, a doohickey! I would like to see what it does. (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: He's got a cool new ancient artifact and you want to take it for yourself! I agree completely! (Pass)

Outcome: You will gain access to the odd robot Drakken was talking about. Drakktech will lose it. New Learning Action unlocked.

[ ] Interrogate Michael Yagoobian
DC 80

This… roynish ronyon is apparently the best lead you have into the strange happenings down in Florida. It should be trivially easy to extract information from the miasmatic churl, provided someone can sit with him long enough to have a serious discussion.

Council Outlook: 5/5 (Pass)
Coyote: Oh is that why there's a conspiracy board and a collection of 50 unwashed black cloaks in our boiler room. (Pass)
Goofy: Ah think he needs help, doc. It's a shame Technor's therapy system is still offline. (Pass)
Janus Lee: If you think the man has any information relevant to us, simply interrogate him and be done with it. I have no objections over whatever means you may deem necessary. (Pass)
Mirage: deep sigh Needs must. (Pass)
Ludivine: Leave me outta it. (Abstain)
Malifishmirtz: Oooh, he could be your Igor! Everyone needs an Igor! He's got the hunch and the bad smell and everything! (Pass)

Outcome: More information on Florida, assuming you can believe it

[ ] Steal nuclear launch codes
DC 700, fallback Diplomacy DC 650, fallback Martial DC 1000

So apparently the US government keeps all their nuclear launch codes in special binders and biscuits, and if you got hold of them you could totally use all those silos that are totally part of your territory! Then you could follow the time-honored tradition of MAD- that is Make Authority Defer (to us!)- and make the United States government issue a drone strike and take us out before we could even issue the order.

Council Outlook: Why Are We Even Asking 0/7 (Veto)
Coyote: Absolutely not! (Veto)
Goofy: *blinks a few times* Wuh? (Veto)
Janus Lee: I concur. Wuh? (Veto)
Mirage: No. (Veto)
Ludivine: No! (Abstain)
Malifishmirtz: If you make the Emperor too mad, he calls a crusade on you. Simple as that! (Veto)
Doof: Not even I'm crazy enough to- wait a minute, I proposed this! (Veto)
*collective council facepalm*

[ ] Investigate Celebration
DC 120

Take a walk down Main Street USA, and investigate how deep the hypnotic rabbit hole goes. While the initial information came from a very absurd source it was corroborated by the report that Olivia had filed, more than meriting an investigation.

Council Outlook: 5/5 (pass)
Coyote: Will we need traps? (Pass)
Goofy: Sounds like trouble. Take care! (Pass)
Janus Lee: Make certain you're discreet about it. (Pass)
Mirage: I'd suggest getting what we can out of the easier source first. (Abstain)
Ludivine: Let me know if you figure out how de mind control workhs! (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: Spying on an enemy town is a time-tested tradition. (Pass)

Outcome: More information on Florida

[ ] Investigate the Cat Mafia
DC 120

The power vacuum left behind after the human elements were removed from the underworld left a gap waiting to be filled by something distinctly more feline. The so-called 'Kataclysm', the attack on the city perpetuated by superpowered cats, ended in failure but still left the 'Cat Mafia' in the position to slowly recoup their losses and take back power. There has been an upset in recent months, however- some unknown actor is making moves.

Council Outlook: 2/5 (Veto)
Coyote: This again? (Pass)
Goofy: Aw, those kitties need a spray bottle! (Pass)
Janus Lee: We could focus on the human elements instead… No I'm not 'avoiding responsibility', anyone would have injected that cat! (Veto)
Mirage: All evidence suggests the cats are on the back foot. I'd recommend looking into whoever did that to them. (Abstain)
Ludivine: We were invaded by cats? I don't believe you. (Veto)
Malifishmirtz: Why do we have to worry about cats? Spitzenhounds are way more intimidating, and I haven't seen one anywhere nearby! (Veto)

Outcome: Unlock actions to deal with the Cat Mafia

[ ] Investigate the Murderous Toon
DC ???

Our initial investigations into the death of Alonso Hawk suggest that the murder actually was committed by a toon, even if Bonkers Bobcat was innocent of this particular crime. The thought of a murderous toon other than Negaduck existing is concerning to many, but the lack of information we have to work with would make further investigation very difficult.

Council Outlook: 2/5 (Veto)
Coyote: I hate leaving a job unfinished. And I'd rather this one not last 68 years. (Pass)
Goofy: I think we ought to look before we leap with somethin' this… serious. (Veto)
Janus Lee: Why are we still wasting our time on this? We're not the police! (Veto)
Mirage: We… we're missing something. I can feel it. (Veto)
Ludivine: If it's really true, I'm not gonna let dis lie! And if its a lie, I'm not gonna let dat lie eitha! (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: [He's reading a magazine. He can't turn the pages so he's just staring at the cover real hard] (Abstain)

Outcome: Find the culprit behind the death of Alonso Hawk.

[ ] Steal Digitizer Codes
DC ???

The SHV 20905 is a proprietary piece of technology reconstructed from blueprints burgled from ENCOM. Unfortunately, testing revealed that the device is useless for its intended purpose without the accompanying algorithms to ensure that the scanned object survives its transfer in one piece. ENCOM almost certainly has a copy of these codes, and stealing from them directly would be far easier than redeveloping them ourselves, though the action would be significantly riskier. ENCOM has likely improved their security after Captain Laser's extremely brazen robbery.

Council Outlook: 2/5 (Veto)
Coyote: A bold step, but an effective one! (Pass)
Goofy: Garsh, seems a little… drastic. (Veto)
Janus Lee: ENCOM will be anticipating another assault. This would be foolish to attempt. (Veto)
Mirage: This course of action is too brazen. If we must obtain those codes, there has to be a better way. (Veto)
Ludivine: I don't care how we geddit, get me into de computah now! (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: [no thoughts, head empty] (Abstain)

Outcome: ???

[ ] Attempt to steal Dimensional Scissors
DC ???

A Seth Supplies Co shipping depot experienced a terrible attack several months ago that resulted in the building's complete destruction. The perpetrator and motives of this attack are unknown, but it is possible this may be connected to the alleged 'dimensional scissors' that were being kept earthside as part of NEMIZ's operations. This artifact is supposedly incredibly potent but there is no way of telling if they were seized or destroyed in the attack, moved to another location, or if they even existed at this location in the first place.

Council Outlook: 2/5 (Veto)
Coyote: Extreme value, unimaginable danger. It balances out. (Pass)
Goofy: Messin' with that Toffee guy when he doesn't even know we're against him is a bad idea. (Veto)
Janus Lee: I see this as an unnecessary and foolish risk. (Veto)
Mirage: I recommend we learn more about Toffee's operations before we commit to something so risky. (Veto)
Ludivine: [Was out getting a sandwich at the time.] (Abstain)
Malifishmirtz: Oooh! Ooh! That's really, really good. It is sooo haaard to travel through dimensions. It's like… I feel like I could explain it through a song. One without a chorus. (Pass)

Outcome: ???

[ ] Infiltrate a Hotspot
DC Variable

There's a number of places around the country that see a lot of underworld activity; mostly those that have a lot of mercantile trading going on. It might be a good idea to set up some small informant rings in order to keep your ear to the ground on what's happening across the shady side of the country.

Choose One:
-[ ] Zootopia: DC 70
Home to creatures great and small, and a major trading city in the northwest.

Council Outlook: 5/6 (Pass)

Coyote: I imagine I could go incognito if necessary. (Pass)
Goofy: Dont'cha think what they do over there is their business? (Veto)
Janus Lee: Information gathering is sensible enough. Go ahead. (Pass)
Mirage: We don't have any reach into that region, setting up a network would be a good choice. (Pass)
Ludivine: Why not? No seriously, can anyone think of a reason why not? (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: A hidden animal village? Of course they're suspicious! Send out the spies! (Pass)

Outcome: Expanded rival reports for relevant regional underworld. Opportunity to infiltrate factions within the region.


-[ ] New York: DC 135
Tobe's attempts to 'infiltrate' New York City went rather poorly and informed Xanatos that we were attempting to put feelers out. While it's unlikely he would be truly angered by further attempts, we can expect them to be more difficult.

Council Outlook: 2/4 (Pass)
Coyote: Perhaps we should assign someone a bit more… sensible, this time. Like myself! (Pass)
Goofy: I figure Mr. Xanatos can keep an eye on his city well enough. (Veto)
Janus Lee: Xanatos already knows we made the attempt. Let's not try again and push the man's annoyance into anger. (Veto)
Mirage: I'll admit. I don't fully trust him. (Pass)
Ludivine: Actually you know, there's this great beestroh I've been meaning to get to on 3rd… (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: [discorporealizing] (Abstain)

- [ ] Middleton: DC 115
The area around Shego's base of operations is a hotbed of crime and cape activity, not to mention a key artery across the country.

Council Outlook: 4/4 (Pass)
Coyote: Very well. (Pass)
Goofy: Doctor D, how much longer is this meetin' gonna last? (Abstain)
Janus Lee: Sensible. But yes, I am growing somewhat weary as well. (Pass)
Mirage: This meeting won't last too much longer. (Pass)
Ludivine: Buck up yoo buckaroos, we've got tree more categories left. (Abstain)
Malifishmirtz: I'm dead and I'm still tired. Dead and tired. Dead tired! Eh. But yeah. Any excuse to let my spies out for a walk. (Pass)

Outcome: Expanded rival reports for relevant regional underworld. Opportunity to infiltrate factions within the region.

-[ ] Calisota: DC 110
The fiftieth state and home to Flintheart Glomgold's heart of operations, this area is filled with ducks and dognoses alike.

Council Outlook: 5/5 (Pass)
Coyote: Yes, yes. (Pass)
Goofy: I still dunno about messin' with other people's companies. (Abstain)
Janus Lee: Let's put out feelers wherever we can. (Pass)
Mirage: With caution. (Pass)
Ludivine: A chance to spy on Ludwig. Obviously, I care nothing for such things. …do et. (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: [still chuffed] (Pass)

Outcome: Expanded rival reports for relevant regional underworld. Opportunity to infiltrate factions within the region.

[ ] Investigate 'weirdness' in Oregon
DC ???
Message boards like 'So Weird' continue to talk about the hotbed of conspiracies that Central Oregon has become, with reports ranging from the mundane, such as mass sightings of cryptids, to the mysterious disappearances, interferences on the radio, alleged voices of the damned speaking to people on their phones… When put into greater context, this suggests that something highly unusual is going on in the area that might warrant further investigation.

Council Outlook: 3/5 (Pass)
Coyote: [says nothing] (Pass)
Goofy: I'm not sure about this, guys. (Abstain)
Janus Lee: 'Weirdness'. Right. (Veto)
Mirage: He's got a point. This is an incredibly vague thing to look into and spend valuable time and money on. Oregon is a big state. (Veto)
Ludivine: Fesinating! Tell me more. (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: Weirdness probably means magic! And magic is great! Let's look into it! (Pass)

Outcome: ???

[ ] Root out high-level moles
DC 120 (Reduced by DI6 and security sweep)
It is extremely likely that DEI is infiltrated on a significant level. While our security sweep succeeded in removing a number of low-level infiltrators- interns and the like who reported back to their masters with whatever scraps of information they could find- the truly experienced ones remain undetected. This needs to be dealt with immediately.

Council Outlook: 3/4 (Pass)
Coyote: Sorry about that everyone, I was using the little canid's room. I am absolutely certain there are no moles. I would have sniffed them out by now. And just to prove it, I say we spend all possible resources to put this nonsense to rest. (Pass)
Goofy: Some 'a those people are just doin' their jobs! I mean, I get it, but… (Abstain)
Janus Lee: Do this immediately. (Pass)
Mirage: My concerns remain, Doctor. I have a full report available if you need further convincing. (Pass)
Ludivine: I dunno. Some of my best friends are moles! (Abstain)
Malifishmirtz: Oh, I'll get the shepherds! (Pass)

Outcome: High-level moles removed from DEI

[ ] Investigate the San Fransokyo cult
DC 120

The Doctor has expressed concern over a community in San Fransokyo that has been known for their city beautification and community service projects despite their relative mundanity. Our contacts in San Fransokyo have noted that they have moved into areas abandoned by the Triads and are frequently seen leaving the sewers. Investigating this would let us know what they are up to for certain, whether or not that is mundane remains to be seen, but we estimate that they are little more than a group of unhinged indigents.

Council Outlook: 4/6 (Pass)
Coyote: Oh, well now we have to look into it. (Pass)
Goofy: He's right! (Pass)
Janus Lee: Really? They run soup kitchens and pick up garbage. What about this is suspicious?! (Veto)
Mirage: Janus is right, they really aren't doing anything out of the ordinary regardless of what they believe in or dress like- (Veto)
Ludivine: You can't just tempt fate like dat, not even in de deyscripteyon. Approved. (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: Cults are usually magic. I approve too! (Pass)

Outcome: ???

Spoiler: Learning Actions

[ ] Prevent Unattended AI (Janus suggested action)
DC 130

There have been several potential issues brought up with our recent developments into AI, namely the concept of 'rights' for newly sentient beings and whether or not the manufacture and sale of them would count as slavery. It's also been noted that, as far as you can tell, this might… already be happening with some of your robots. This proposal intends to sidestep the issue entirely, by devising some means to prevent sapience from ever developing in the first place. Non-sapient programs mean that no violations can be committed against them- and it also conveniently removes the potential that they would ever rebel. While this means that we won't be able to make as full use of 'smart AI' as we could otherwise, the threat of them growing independent will be removed and the moral issues gone entirely.

Council Outlook: 3/6 (Pass)
Coyote: Come now, surely it's not such a big deal as you're making it out to be. (Veto)
Goofy: I dunno, isn't that still controllin' 'm? I don' like it. (Veto)
Janus Lee: It's sensible and a necessity. (Pass)
Mirage: This is supposed to remove any moral objections. I can't do anything but say yes. (Pass)
Ludivine: Where's de fun in dat? (Veto)
Malifishmirtz: Ugh, I hate it when my furniture comes alive. Always… T-posing on me. Despite not having arms. Do it. (Pass)

Outcome: Any AI produced by DEI will no longer run the risk of attaining sentience without your deliberate action. Resultant ethical issues and security issues prevented.

[ ] Re-Develop Digitizer Codes
DC 150

The SHV laser we built is useless without the accompanying algorithms if we want to get any sort of use out of it at all. In lieu of a foolish assault on ENCOM, or the more indirect approach through Solanaceae, we could opt to develop them in-house at considerable time and money expended.

Hopefully.

Council Outlook: 2/2 (Pass)
Coyote: I would prefer the violence, personally. (Abstain)
Goofy: I don't see why not! (Pass)
Janus Lee: A fascinating prospect, I will admit, though not my forte. (Pass)
Mirage: Far from a priority, but not a detriment. (Abstain)
Ludivine: [vibrates intensely] (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: I…uh… yeeeees??? (Abstain)

Outcome: SHV algorithms developed capable of safely digitizing a sentient; Quest unlocked.

(NOTE: You can choose to Write-In any means you would like of dealing with Solanaceae. This option is just still available too.)

[ ] Research Large Carnivore Domestication
DC 150
Fallback Martial: DC 110

Domestication of large carnivores is the logical next step to expanding our dinosaur park. The extreme danger of these creatures necessitates caution when moving forward to ensure that everyone remains safe and the park remains profitable.

Council Outlook: 5/6 (Pass)
Coyote: I see no problems whatsoever. (Pass)
Goofy: My instincts tell me this is a good idear. (Pass)
Janus Lee: Just imagine the feather in our genetics department's cap! It's worth the risk!
Mirage: I… this is riskier than I'm comfortable with. The parks are already turning a profit without tempting fate. (Veto)
Ludivine: I'll start chalking out de splash zone! (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: I've turned myself into worse. (Pass)

Outcome: Large carnivore implementation unlocked for Doofrasic Park

[ ] Research Dinosaur Weapons Platforms
DC 140

The Doctor dug the blueprints out of the trash can despite our best efforts to convince him otherwise, and remains firmly of the opinion that mounting weapon platforms on dinosaurs is a good and profitable idea.

Council Outlook: 2/5 (Veto)
Coyote: [actively salivating] (Pass)
Goofy: Now that sounds like a crummy action figure from the 80s. (Veto)
Janus Lee: I admit to a certain level of appeal but this is bound to be wildly impractical… (Abstain)
Mirage: Janus. Please. You can't seriously be considering the merits of… (Veto)
Ludivine: DINOSAUR LASER FIGHT! DINOSAUR LASER FIGHT! (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: I'm telling you, if you want ranged weaponry on a lizard just get a dragon. We have a dragon! It's so much better than dinosaurs. They're practically just birds, they don't listen to you, they eat so many citizens of Drusselstein you get an award from Emperor Hadrian, they have feathers-
Ludivine: Wait, how do you know a dinosaur from a danish?
Malifishmirtz: Tried to raise a dragon's bones once. (Veto)

Outcome: Dinosaurs with weapons developed, +1 funds from limited run action figure runs

[ ] Continue the Doofenshmirtz Evil Space Program
DC 140

LOVEMUFFIN's foray into jumpstarting the DEI space program could most generously be described as 'lackluster', amounting to nothing more than a model rocket that barely made it above building height and the proper permits filed with the Feds. Meanwhile, Xanatos and Drakktech have been making impressive strides into building space elevators and researching FTL. We have zero investment in the field and are so far behind our competitors that there is no practical value in continuing at this time.

Council Outlook: 2/5 (Veto)
Coyote: I'm still on board. There's worse things to be done with rockets. (Pass)
Goofy: I dunno, seems like a big leap ta make. (Abstain)
Janus Lee: We've got no investment in the industry and are miles behind our competitors. Going any further would be a pointless vanity project. (Veto)
Mirage: I can't see a reason to progress in this right now. (Veto)
Ludivine: I will nevah say no to science. (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: Don't go into space, that's where all the things from beyond the stars are, you know. (Veto)

Outcome: Progress to the next level of your space program, DEI's investment into [Aerospace] marginally increases

Current Level: At Least the Paperwork is Filed

[ ] Research cures for genetic diseases
DC 150

We could further our genetics research by looking into cures for several debilitating genetic conditions. While we're unlikely to come up with something definitive right away, and it would take months of FDA approval to even get into human testing, it's a start at least, and would invite both goodwill and the possibility of cooperation with our competitors.

Council Outlook: 5/6 (Pass)
Coyote: Is this a debate? (Pass)
Goofy: Well shucks, why not. (Pass)
Janus Lee: One step of many on the road to perfection. (Pass)
Mirage: A boost to our industrial wealth, a public opinion coup, an industry we already have a presence in. An obvious choice. (Pass)
Ludivine: Whaddaya still lookin' at me for? (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: If we were meant to cure the bubonic plague, we wouldn't have been given plague magic. (Veto)

Outcome: public opinion increases, further genetics options unlocked, action to enter the [Healthcare] industry unlocked

[ ] Sequence crop genomes
DC 110

The days after the Breadbasket Collapse are long gone, and our competitors have made their own strong investments into this field. Gen-U-Tech in particular has come out with their own line of designer crops very recently, which would make this option less lucrative than it was months ago. It would strengthen our investment in the industry but there is already heavy competition.

Council Outlook: 2/4 (Pass)
Coyote: This is not my field of expertise (Abstain)
Goofy: Garsh, I don't see the problem. (Pass)
Janus Lee: Hardly the best use of our genetics department, but at least it's a use. (Abstain)
Mirage: Given Gen-U-Tech's recent developments this does not seem like a productive use of our time or money. (Veto)
Ludivine: Oh please, an intern could do this in theiah sleep. Fah beneath my genius. (Veto)
Malifishmirtz: Ah yes, the unholy tampering of food and food based products. I will prepare the reagents! (Pass)

Outcome: Implement genemod crops stewardship option unlocked, investment into [Food & Agriculture] slightly increases. Competitors are likely to react to our further investments in this field very strongly.

[ ] Study weird object
DC 140, cannot assign a human or toon

You recovered a strange object from Malifishmirtz's castle. This wooden octagon is slightly smaller than a human palm, covered on all sides by miniscule runes you cannot read. While at first it appears solid, a hidden latch reveals it is in fact filled with several thin panes of wood of the same color and form as the exterior. Malifishmertz warned you it has been enchanted to catch flame if any human touches it. After subjecting it to a battery of magical tests, he's still unable to find anything concrete about the object or the runes, so a path forward will require you to try and decode the runes themselves with cryptography.

Council Outlook: 3/4 (Pass)
Coyote: Fascinating. (Pass)
Goofy: Maybe it's just upside-down? (Abstain)
Janus Lee: An intriguing mystery, but not my department. (Abstain)
Mirage: I can't justify authorizing resources for this, Doctor. (Veto)
Ludivine: I haven' see writing that sqwewey since de autobahn redecorated in art brut! (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: You still haven't looked at it??? (Pass)

Outcome: ???

[ ] Research the metahuman genome

DC 160

Jumba's notes on metahuman genetics were deleted following Kat's infiltration of his lab, and his memory on the subject is sporadic at best. If we are to truly make strides in the field of understanding and eventually granting a stable form of superpowers, we must start at the most fundamental level.

Council Outlook: 2/3 (Pass)
Coyote: Absolutely no complaints. (Pass)
Goofy: I uh… I don' like tha' sound of it. (Veto)
Janus Lee: Oh lord, this again. Well. Nobody said perfection was easy. (Pass)
Mirage: I'm.. uncomfortable weighing in, Doctor. (Abstain)
Ludivine: I'm gonna have to be the one who convinces Jumba to do it again. (Abstain)
Malifishmirtz: These are some weird looking wizards. (Abstain)

Outcome: Basics of the metahuman genome understood, options to begin further research of superpowers unlocked

[ ] Research extradimensional tech
DC 60

The revelation that other dimensions not only exist but hold a variety of existential threats was an uncomfortable one to many of us, but the need to understand and navigate these foreign planes is becoming increasingly apparent. Use of the Crystal Key is likely to mitigate the extreme difficulty of tearing a hole through dimensional realities, although opening a portal and mounting an expedition will still be a resource-intensive action.


Council Outlook: 5/6 (Pass)
Coyote: Adventure! Wonder! New horizons! (Pass)
Goofy: Sounds real neat! (Pass)
Janus Lee: I don't need to explain why I'm allowing this, do I (Pass)
Mirage: I worry about the dangers, but I have to admit the potential. (Pass)
Ludivine: [Ludivine's chair has at this point begun boring a hole into the ground from sheer repetitive vibration] (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: Ohohoho no, you never know what's lurking out there. One time, there was this living wall of hair, and it called my hat stupid! Well joke's on you, hair-wall, it's a headdress, so there. (Veto)

Outcome: Other-Dimension-Inator created, options to fund expeditions unlocked for funds per trip

[ ] Research exotic vehicles
DC 85

Lee Industries are veterans in vehicle design, both civilian and military. Integrating their best and brightest into your R&D department and letting them go wild will allow you to unleash truly inventive machines upon the world! Further research into the limo with wildly radical tech is likely to make this option easier.

Council Outlook: 4…5? Out of 6 (Pass)
Coyote: [Unnaturally quiet] I would like to use these contraptions. (Pass)
Goofy: Well garsh, that sounds like f-! (Pass)
Coyote: No!( …un…-pass?)
Janus Lee: [Is trying very hard not to appear too eager] (Pass)
Mirage: Not a terrible idea, if we're willing to commit to it. (Pass)
Ludivine: [Deeply hypocritical] Oh, you boys and your toys. (Abstain)
Malifishmirtz: So they're like covered wagons, but… metal? That doesn't sound right. How do the horses pull them? (Veto)

Outcome: Action to enter (or in Lee's case, re-enter) the [Motor Vehicles/Transportation] market unlocked

[ ] Research sublight drives
DC 140

The engines on the recovered GalFed ship that serves as Jumba's lab are very advanced, but the gap between them and the current level of military tech is rapidly dwindling with Drakktech's recent advances into rocketry. It may still be worthwhile to investigate but the level of tech disparity is not as great as it once was.

Council Outlook: 3/3 (Pass)
Coyote: A valuable tool literal lightyears ahead of its time. (Pass)
Goofy: Well yeah, that sounds useful! (Pass)
Janus Lee: I would love the chance to see how that works. (Pass)
Mirage: Are we sure the Galfed has no means of tracking their own technology? (Abstain)
Ludivine: I'd be cautious of using Galactic technology in public. (Abstain)
Malifishmirtz: Wait, the stars are places?!?! (Abstain)

Outcome: Opportunity to begin commercializing alien tech, opens potential for GalFed scrutiny, investors in [Aerospace] are likely to react very aggressively to this.

[ ] Research Uburnium fuel
DC 130

Apparently the most common and cheapest fuel in the universe is a transuranic element in wide abundance everywhere in the galaxy except for our solar system. According to Jumba, Uburnium stations are as common as gas stations out there, and a lot more affordable than our gas prices too. Unfortunately, our options if we want to exploit this are to look into deep space for deposits or try synthesizing the stuff ourselves, which is likely to be expensive and energy-intensive. The laws of thermodynamics are pesky like that. This is likely to invite strong scrutiny from any organizations that know Uburnium does not exist on Earth.

Council Outlook: 2/5 (Veto)
Coyote: If true, it certainly sounds worth the effort. (Pass)
Goofy: This is a bit over my head fellas. (Abstain)
Janus Lee: As fascinating as a stable superheavy element might be, the risks are hardly worth it. We're not invested in the energy sector and we do not want to attract alien attention. (Veto)
Mirage: Our best defense against unwanted interference from the GalFed is to remain below their interest. (Veto)
Ludivine: An entire element we've nevah gotten our hands on?! Unacceptable!Get me a rocket right now, I'll geddit myself. (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: This sounds fake. Like… Like a made-up word. C'mon, right! It sounds ridiculous. (Veto)
Coyote: Actually that reminds me, how do you speak perfect english if you come from Drusselstein?
Malifishmirtz: Oh, we were too poor for our own language.
Coyote: …
Malifishmertz: …
Coyote: Ah.

Outcome: Strong chance of Galfed scrutiny, option to synthesize Uburnium at great cost unlocked, strengthens position in the [Petrochemical/Energy] sector if Uburnium is successfully developed or obtained. Competitors in this field are likely to react extremely aggressively.

[ ] Research GalFed Cloaking Tech
DC 140

The cloak on Jumba's lab is roughly analogous to the high-end military cloaking devices on the market but of completely alien make. Taking a closer look at how it functions would give us some valuable insight into how alien technology functions and a device that is foreign, if roughly equivalent, to any others on the market.

Council Outlook: 4/5 (Pass)
Coyote: If only I'd had such a device in my roadrunner hunting days… (Pass)
Goofy: I'll leave it to the professionals. (Abstain)
Janus Lee: A far safer choice given its intended to shield us from focus by its very nature. (Pass)
Mirage: This has a multitude of potential uses. (Pass)
Ludivine: Shooure, I'll puddit on de list. (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: Just use a spell! (Veto)

Outcome: Chance of inviting GalFed scrutiny, cloaking device reverse-engineered, slight increase in understanding of GalFed tech

[ ] Research Animal Uplink Suits

DC 120

Lizzy's prototypes for her antborg armor are simple in design but surprisingly effective, given that they can sync up the movement of ants to a far larger scale. With enough effort it may be possible to make it so that any animal could benefit from this sort of uplink and benefit from the increased strength and mobility afforded by the armor. This is unlikely to hugely increase their combat effectiveness but it would still give a noticeable boost to NOWCA, as well as opening up the possibility to sell to areas with high anthro populations like Zootopia in the future.

Council Outlook: 3/3 (Pass)
Coyote: Man and machine, together as one. Er. Well. (Pass)
Goofy: That sounds pretty silly, Dr. D. (Abstain)
Janus Lee: As if anything else here doesn't? (Abstain)
Mirage: I… suppose… (Abstain)
Ludivine: Yeah shooure, I could whip dat up for you. (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: We're putting the beavers in armor? That… huh. You know that doesn't actually sound like a bad idea. (Pass)
Coyote: Beav-[Clamps hand over mouth]
Janus Lee: Beavers? Those aren't native to Europe!
Malifishmertz: Yeah, and neither are ocelots pal, what's your point?

Outcome: Option to construct animal uplink suits for NOWCA unlocked (eventual +3 martial, -3 funds), option to sell armor in Zootopia unlocked

[ ] Research Insect Control
DC 140

Lizzy's devices that allow her rudimentary control over nearby insects are impressive if not as widespread as we had initially thought. She currently lacks fine control or a very wide range, but what she does have is impressive. The tech is unlikely to be improved by leaps and bounds- not to mention the logistical problems with gathering and storing the ants she controls- but there is some potential in it, and more importantly, Liv Amara has expressed interest in figuring out how it functions. Thinking about a collaboration with Sycorax would be beneficial in the future.

Council Outlook: 3/4 (Pass)
Coyote: Lizzy could use the boost in efficacy. (Pass)
Goofy: I get the willies jus' thinkin' about that many creepy crawlies. (Abstain)
Janus Lee: No real investment on my part. A potentially useful sale, I suppose. (Pass)
Mirage: I'm hesitant to stoke Amara's apparent interest in bioweaponry. There's something off about that woman. (Abstain)
Ludivine: Oooh, dat's some real supervillainy stuff. Go for it. (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: Just use maaaaagiiiiiic! (Veto)

Outcome: Insect control technology unlocked, Lizzy's martial improves by +5

[ ] Decode Odd Transmissions
DC 120 (Reduced by Translator Suite, Increased by ???, reduced by anime, increased by ???)

The so-called 'odd transmissions', a series of utterly incomprehensible broadcasts consisting of seemingly random phonemes and diphthongs strung together in the vague approximation of words, have been vexing the Doctor for months on end. Recently a leak of anime in Nara-era Japanese brought to light several similarities between the ancient language and this incomprehensible one, making it quite possible that decoding them could become easier. The value of this is… dubious.

Council Outlook: 3/5 (Pass)
Coyote: As long as you're trying to decode it, you're not trying to send me back in there to find it in person. (Pass)
Goofy: Maybe somebody's in trouble! (Pass)
Janus Lee: For heaven's sake, for all you know it was interference from a country music station! (Veto)
Mirage: I doubt that, but… it does seem a poor investment. (Veto)
Ludivine: I love a good meestery. (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: Only a powerful wizard could accomplish this sort of telepathy. Be cautious, my heir. (Abstain)

Outcome: ???

[ ] Research Silphium
DC 90

It was incredibly surprising to find a surviving cultivar of silphium in Drusselstein of all places. The uses of this ancient herb were widespread and varied, if somewhat distorted by history and lack of medical knowledge, and its reintroduction to the modern palate could prove profitable even if not paradigm-redefining. At the very least, it may prove useful in the culinary industry.

Council Outlook: 4/4 (Pass)
Coyote: We've had silphium this whole time?! (Pass)
Goofy: What's silphium? (Abstain)
Janus Lee: What's- it's practically the cautionary tale of lost medical knowledge! A biological Library of Alexandria! I doubt it lives up to all of the legends, but if even a few of its purported uses are true… (Pass)
Mirage: If that's the case, it's an obvious choice. (Pass)
Ludivine: To think it was in Drusselstein this whole time… (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: Eh. It goes good with feta I guess. (Abstain)

Outcome: Slightly strengthens investment in [Food & Agriculture], leads to a stronger standing in [Healthcare] if DEI ever breaks into the industry.

[ ] Research Zero Point Energy Technology
DC 150 (Raised by prototype theft)

Syndrome's inaccurately-named 'Zero Point Energy' emitters weren't related the the hypothetical vacuum state as some may have predicted, but rather an impressive stasis field emitter. The man greedily hoarded them to himself and his highest paying customers when he was still alive, but our theft of the blueprints and prototype at the Sands Gala would allow us a better understanding of his technology, should we choose to invest the time. The theft of the prototype is annoying and will complicate matters with nothing to work off of, but it is not catastrophic.

Council Outlook: 3/3 (Pass)
Coyote: This is definitely not true Zero-Point energy. But it might still be worth considering. (Pass)
Goofy: If… ya say so. (Abstain)
Janus Lee: This isn't my field of expertise but stasis technology could be very useful. (Pass)
Mirage: … (Abstain)
Ludivine: If we don't use it now, we'll have to use it at a suitably dramatic moment. Which is traditional, I supphose! (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: [dial tone] (Abstain)

Outcome: Stasis field technology unlocked, options to implement "Zero-Point" technology unlocked

[ ] Research Greco-Roman Landscaping
DC 100

The notes retrieved from supervillain 'Emperor Stanley' seem to discuss the technology by which he formed the massive volcano in the middle of downtown in detail, though they are written in an antiquated dialect of Greek. The ability to reshape the landscape in short periods of time could prove very useful for construction projects or city beautification.

Council Outlook: 4/4 (Pass)
Coyote: What a strange way to begin this technological path. (Pass)
Goofy: It is? (Abstain)
Janus Lee: Regardless, it's a valuable option. (Pass)
Mirage: It's impressive technology, to say the least. I' have no idea how it works. (Pass)
Ludivine: I could nevah turn down something so novel. (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: Ahh, the Make a Mountain Out of a Molehill Itation. (Abstain)

Outcome: Stewardship options related to landscaping unlocked


[ ] Research Flubber Power
DC 100

Flubber offers a path to clean and cheap energy, but the major problem comes from dealing with the overwhelmingly negative press surrounding the substance. With the substance violating thermodynamics in ways that make scientists green with envy and white with terror, it certainly contains the potential for enormous destruction.

Council Outlook: 1/6 (Veto)
Coyote: No. (Veto)
Goofy: No way! (Veto)
Janus Lee: Definitely not. (Veto)
Mirage: There is no possible way to justify this when there are countless safer, more publicly amenable options available. (Veto)
Ludivine: Call me back when Hawaii isn't legally kaput! I like my funding wheah it is! (Veto)
Malifishmirtz: Cowards! (Pass)

Outcome: Massive public opinion decrease, massive government opinion decrease, option to move into the [Petrochemical/Energy] industry unlocked.

[ ] Research Flubber Antigravity
DC 90

Vulcanizing Flubber could hypothetically produce an easy method to antigravity but the negative perceptions surrounding the substance are vast. It is extremely unlikely to be worth it to move into this field.

Council Outlook: 1/6 (Veto)
Coyote: What we use it for doesn't change my opinion! (Veto)
Goofy: It's still super dangerous! (Veto)
Janus Lee: Again, no. (Veto)
Mirage: No. (Veto)
Ludivine: Cool. But no. (Veto)
Malifishmirtz: I see no possible way this could go poorly! (Pass)

Outcome: Massive public opinion decrease, massive government opinion decrease, Flubber antigravity options unlocked

[ ] Research Flubber Weather Modification
DC 90

Flubber has impressive versatility despite its inherent danger. Our initial research suggests that it is capable of producing seemingly miraculous rainfall and cloudcover in all but the most arid regions more or less on demand. While this is certainly impressive, the risks of an accident involving the substance are vast and unlikely to make it worth it.

Council Outlook: 1/5 (Veto)
Coyote: Why do we even have this much Flubber research? (Veto)
Goofy: Why would we put it in the air?! (Veto)
Janus Lee: How many times do I need to say 'no'? (Veto)
Mirage: No. (Veto)
Ludivine: Oh actually, theis one was my fault. I like to just grab three proposals at random every time I pass by the archives. (Abstain)
Malifishmirtz: You could make lightning happen! All the time!

Outcome: Massive public opinion decrease, massive government opinion decrease, weather modification technology unlocked

Spoiler: Occult Actions

[ ] Search for Agent Unknown
DC 80

Locating and returning this… Unknown Agent to the world will require you to find some sort of source or focus capable of drawing him back to the world, then using it as a beacon. Can't be that hard, right?

Council Outlook: 3/4 (Pass)
Coyote: A retcon? But if we have a lead on them…it wouldn't do to leave a trail unturned. (Pass)
Goofy: If there's someone in trouble, we should help 'em! No matter if we remember 'em or not! (Pass)
Janus Lee: I absolutely refuse to accept that something touched my mind in such a way. This had better not be one of your flights of fancy, Doctor… (Abstain)
Mirage: This all sounds a bit unbelievable, but I don't have much occult experience. (Abstain)
Ludivine: Not de weirdest ting I've dealt with. (Pass)
Malifishmertz: Oh, that's bad juju. If you don't remember them, then they probably aren't important! (Veto)

Outcome: Light a torch.

[ ] Repair the Avatar of Felldrake
DC 80

Felldrake seems a little irritated that his Avatar hasn't been repaired after a few months. He's talked Janna into refusing to give up any information on his next 'World Tour' location until after his so-called 'god bod' is restored.

Council Outlook: 4/6 (Pass)
Coyote: He's started giving us dirty looks. (Pass)
Goofy: I'd jes' get it over with. (Pass)
Janus Lee: You're not actually going to let a stick blackmail us, are you? (Veto)
Mirage: I'd rather not find out what he's capable of when mad. (Pass)
Ludivine: Absolutely nothing, that's what. That said I want to see the big stompy duck golem, so make it happen. (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: Why don't we recarve it to look like me!? (Veto)

Outcome: Avatar of Felldrake fixed, option to resume the Felldrake World Tour returns

[ ] Golumetric Theory
DC 85

The construction of the golem; that is, the artificial magical automaton- is now within your grasp. It's unlikely that they will be outperforming your robots anytime soon, but it could prove a useful stepping stone to broader arcane constructions.

Council Outlook: 1/4 (Veto)
Coyote: Meh. (Abstain)
Goofy: I don't know too much about magic, so I can't really say for sure. (Abstain)
Janus Lee: Our investment into robots is already significant, we should focus on those instead of going in a needlessly magical direction. (Veto)
Mirage: I don't see the benefits that this field would grant us over our current robots. (Veto)
Ludivine: I don't like clay. It's smooth and brittle and red and it's used everywheah. (Veto)
Malifishmertz: Making golems is the hallmark of any decent wizard! (Pass)

Outcome: Repair the Avatar of Felldrake DC reduced, future Occult actions unlocked, 'Spooky Normbots' added to your PMC (no actual change in effectiveness, but if having any magic units ever becomes relevant there they are.)

[ ] Basic Magic Theory
DC 75

Moving forward with magic on an organizational scale requires a better understanding of what magic is- and why people need to keep quiet about it. While we won't be letting everyone in on the masquerade, those that attend the seminar will obtain an understanding of the basics so no one is caught blind by their lack of understanding.

Council Outlook: 5/6 (Pass)
Coyote: An entirely new field of study. Delightful! (Pass)
Goofy: I sure would like to have an idear what's goin' on. (Pass)
Janus Lee: Absolutely ridiculous, we should be studying it like any other field. (Veto)
Mirage: One must start somewhere. (Pass)
Ludivine: [Looks smugly at Janus for some odd reason] (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: Ooooh I'll get the floating chaaaalkboaard! (Pass)

Outcome: Study Magic personal action unlocked, look into magical people online action unlocked, hold a magical seminar action unlocked, track magical creatures action unlocked, look back through your magic stuff action unlocked, Map Leylines action unlocked

[ ] Dance Magic Theory
DC 90

'Dance Magic' is a rather circumstantial use of rhythm and music to amplify or cast certain magical spells. While Juniper has utilized it to some degree and understood the basics, but she hasn't actually written it down yet… or theorized how it could be used on a wider scale.

Council Outlook: 1/4 (Veto)
Coyote: I've no opinion on eldritch gyration. (Abstain)
Goofy: Sounds fun ta me! (Pass)
Janus Lee: At least start with something sensible! (Veto)
Mirage: Doctor, I'd advise learning the basics. (Veto)
Ludivine: I've got two webbed feet. (Abstain)
Malifishmirtz: Dance magic is lame. Study real magic instead! Like meat! (Veto)

Outcome: Dance Magic personal action unlocked

[ ] Summon Demons
DC 70

So, now that Janna has ticked 'Summon a Ghost' off the magical bucket list you've just now learned she had, the next thing in line is apparently 'summon demons'. She claims Tom 'doesn't count'.

What could go wrong?

Council Outlook: 3/6 (Pass)
Coyote: Now hear me out… (Pass)
Goofy: Nuh-uh. (Veto)
Janus Lee: No. (Veto)
Mirage: No. (Veto)
Ludivine: No no, hear him out… (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: A time-honored tradition! Oooh, let me know if you need help coming up with a faustian pact. (Pass)

Outcome: ???

[ ] Search for Magical Individuals
DC 90

The magical community is, from what we can tell, somewhat insular, and while not everyone online claiming to be a wizard actually is one, we have enough knowledge to know that the concept isn't fundamentally incorrect. With some careful screening and interviews we may be able to find someone who is skilled in the occult and interested in working for us.

Council Outlook: 4/5 (Pass)
Coyote: We could certainly use some more help. (Pass)
Goofy: I'm tryin' ta' remember if I ever met a wizard before. (Pass)
Janus Lee: If they're like the 'experts' we already have, I'll pass. (Abstain)
Mirage: We need a stronger knowledge base if we're to move forward. (Pass)
Ludivine: Only if I'm konductin' de intaviews. (Pass)
Malifishmirtz: What, am I not good enough? You gonna replace me?!?! I bet you already have a cooler ghost lined up, don't you? With plot relevance and everything! (Veto)

Outcome: Occult hero units available for hire

[ ] Summon Celena the Shy
DC 100

The Vagabond Ninja somehow managed to luck into summoning one of the ancient Queens of Mewni to do a tarot reading. She apparently likes you enough that she told Janna how to do it again.

Council Outlook: 3/5 (Pass)
Coyote: Finally, something reliable. (Pass)
Goofy: She was nice! (Pass)
Janus Lee: A better resource than those we would otherwise have available, certainly. (Pass)
Mirage: The benefits are questionable… but not nonexistent. (Abstain)
Ludivine: Nevah trust someone who chooses to look like a teenagah. (Veto)
Malifishmirtz: [Trying not to cry] It's fine. It's fine. I'm fine. (Veto)

Outcome: Celena the Shy performs another Mewberty Spread

Quest Actions
[ ] Missile's Red Glare (Cost: 1 funds)

Major Monogram has identified the individual who has allegedly stolen the Declaration of Independence, and subsequent government tracking has placed the individual in the rough vicinity of Gravesfield, Connecticut. The Feds are making preparations to reacquire the document without risking any potential harm, and Monogram urges you to do the same. "It could smooth over that whole 'secession' thing," he says.

This quest is available until June-July 2018.

Personal Actions

Spoiler: Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Doof takes a -10 to all personal actions until next turn.

[ ] Browse Online for Interesting Stories

The internet is a hotbed of rumors and strange happenings. If you've got some free time you can always browse The Grid to see what looks interesting. Whether or not that'll pan out as something actually useful is up to chance.

[ ] Practice Elocution
You will admit that, time to time, you have been known to ramble on. Lose your point. Repeat yourself. Get into a long winded digression about that thing that happened to you last Thursday, and you can't believe they spelled their dictator's name wrong on the coffee cup! You don't even like coffee but they had this new hazelnut blend that…

Outcome: Doof Diplomacy increased (0/150)

[ ] Read About Lean Evil
You're more of a hands-on type of boss. It miiiight be a good idea to try and read some of those evil self-help books on management and organizational leadership and stuff, to see how the field of evil masterminding has progressed since college. The fact that some of those concepts would transferable to more general leadership skills might be part of why Mirage keeps leaving them around your workdesk.

Outcome: Doof Stewardship increased (0/150)

[ ] Take a time management class
You're going to be honest with yourself, you still have no idea how your company runs. Roger and Mirage handle most of the work behind the scenes and your management AI handles the rest, leaving you… to do all the fun sciency bits, really. But now that you think about it, maybe you could… put some time into learning? Just so you know what's actually going on, you mean.

Outcome: Bowl of Mints is entirely removed instead of 'mitigated', CJ and Roger become a slight Stewardship boost instead (0/150)

[ ] Ask Mirage to let you practice lying
You are a trickster par excellence of course, routinely outwitting the best spies platypus-kind could offer you. But lies are what hold society together, and you gotta stay on top of your game. You sometimes get the feeling your cunning schemes are not quite as opaque as you'd like them to be. There are a lot of competing evil geniuses out there, and you've got to be sure you can manage to get one over on them, get one under on you, and figure out what they're planning before you don't.

...Or uh. Something like that.

Outcome: Doof Intrigue increased (0/150)

[ ] Tinker with your Inators (costs 2 personal actions)
No matter how big your evil schemes get, you will always have time for the creations that started it all. If you choose to roll on the inator table, you can roll twice and choose an inator.


[ ] Chat with the Bossman
It might pay off to spend some more time talking to your employees, so you can see how they're doing and what they're working on. This is likely to make them like you a bit better (+10 loyalty for 3 turns) and also give you valuable insight into what they're doing and how they're doing it. Chatting with the Bossman can unlock new personal actions, reveal more preferences and means of increasing opinion, and generally start to build an actually relationship beyond the slightly awkward one of employer and employee.

You may take this action more than once a turn.
-[ ] Choose a Hero Unit

[ ] Do some introspection about Norm

Your feelings on Norm are more complicated than you thought. Is he your son? Are you comfortable with that? How are you supposed to be treating him? Is he even really sentient? You've given him a lot of upgrades over the years, but you never remember instructing him to call you father. Wendy says robots can get more complex with time, and you don't think he was like this to start, so...

Outcome: Slightly improved due to Norm's actions. The results of this action may change depending on your understanding of Artificial Intelligence. Now that you fully understand what that intelligence is, it's time to decide what Norm is.

[ ] Spend some time with CJ
"Princess Coffee Java" is the go-to workplace organization program around DEI, and you made it. Her? With all the hubbub about sentient AI, maybe you can give humanizing CJ a shot?

Outcome: Doof communes with his scheduling algorithm.

[ ] Remove an Employee
-[ ] Specify a Hero

As much as you hate to say it, not everyone is cut out for the DEI lifestyle. If you have an employee who isn't helping, is falling behind, or just isn't worth the salary anymore, you can choose to let them go. Shuffle them off to an unimportant area, or simply end their contract entirely. This may upset them, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

Outcome: A single hero unit leaves your roster.

[ ] Clean out Your Rolodex
Wow, have you been letting this get out of hand. You should really clear out your contacts list of any superfluous notes. Heck, up until last time The Pack was still in there, somehow.

Outcome: Vote on up to three potential hero units to remove from your rolodex.

[ ] Hire the Dickens Detective Agency
The Dickens are willing to work for you, hooray! Their services don't come cheap, and you'd probably want to be careful about sending them on any 'eeevil' missions. But if you pay them, their expertise will give you a free Intrigue action, and a hero to do it. You're really starting to develop a rapport with them.
-[ ] For a small (-2) income decrease, a lower level member of the Dickens family will come to aid you for a turn.
-[ ] For a medium (-5) income decrease, a veteran member of the Dickens family will aid you on an action, and likely bring some of their immediate family as well.
-[ ] For a large (-7) income decrease, the Commodore himself will complete your appointed task, and bring his entire dynasty with him.

Outcome: The Dickens will become a Contractor you can use this turn, assuming there is space for it.

[ ] Brew a Potion
Time to put that alchemy skill to good use! And hopefully not explode. Unless you want to make an explosion potion. Then that'd be expected.

Outcome: List of potions to choose from; one created.

[ ] Activate Automatic Potion Brewer
Oooor, you could just let the machine do it for you. So convenient!

Outcome: Two random potions created!

[ ] Give a project your 'personal attention' (3 personal actions)
- [ ] Write In:

Spend all your free time on ensuring a project goes off as smoothly as possible!

[ ] Accept Bellwether's Invitation
The proposition you received from Zootopia's friendly mayor is pretty difficult to ignore. She seems to be really popular and Mirage told you that you'd get a lot of blowback if you just blew her off, so… take a weekend, catch a flight, and see what business she's bringing to the table!

Oh and maybe take some notes too so Mirage and your council can tell you about that business.

Outcome: ???

Spoiler: Wile E. Coyote

[ ] Personally oversee ACME product testing
While you no longer have the title of CEO, you are still technically in charge of ACME. It behooves you to oversee the process of making sure ACME products maintain the standard of quality they are known for.

[ ] Set up a trap
If there is one thing you and Doof have in common, it is a love of trapmaking. Why not throw together some sort of impressive imprisonment and see what comes of it?

[ ] Look through ACME's records
AMCE as a corporation has records going back even longer than you've existed, starting as a minor joke company and blossoming into the primary supplier of Toon goods before the murder of Marvin Acme and the dark days of Mr. Chairman. Take a look through that storied history and see what ELSE you can find.

[ ] Expand ACME products to Japan
Progress Revealed: (62/250)

[ ] Work for the Bossman
-[ ] Which project?

Spoiler: Goofy

[ ] Do some home gardening
You've been really busy lately, why not take some time for yourself and relax? Spending some time at home gardening would be a nice break from the grind at work and give you the chance to eat something you grow with your own two hands.

[ ] Finish your degree online
The incident at the X-Games pretty quickly put an end to your plans for a degree. Fortunately all sorts of colleges offer online degrees now, and you've got just enough time to try and finish one! Not only would this make you feel better about yourself, it might have some actual effects on your job, too! Must be completed three more times to obtain your degree.

[ ] Find Mickey
It's been some time since you've heard from Mickey beyond the usual Christmas and birthday cards you got, and he's remained suspiciously tight-lipped about where he is and what he's doing. While you're pretty sure he's alright, it sure would be nice to know where he is and meet up face to face.

[ ] Look into Pete
You got an early Christmas card from Pete this year, and it turns out he's managing his own nightclub called the 'House of Villains'. It's pretty successful too, from the sound of things! You could head out there on one of your vacation days and see how he's doing. It sounds like Dr. D sure would like it!

[ ] Work for Dr. D
-[ ] Which project?

Spoiler: Janus Lee

[ ] Custom Design
You can design or upgrade a unique vehicle for another person, factoring in and accounting for their strengths and weaknesses. Good for missions abroad and action in the Tri-State Area.
[ ] Which hero?

[ ] Work on the New Men project
Jumba has given you some valuable insight into potential shortcomings of your designs, but there is still much to be done.

[ ] Spend Time with Coworkers
Get to know your new colleagues in the DEI think tank and the various unique individuals Doofenshmirtz has attracted to his company.

[ ] Work for Dr. Doofenshmirtz
-[ ] What project?

Spoiler: Mirage

[ ] Reinforce Kronos Corp contacts
There are still people in Kronos… sorry, Olympia that know you, and that means there are levers to be pulled.

Progress revealed: 33/200

[ ] Recruit new talent
Dr. Heinz has a lot of contacts that he hasn't followed up on. Take the liberty of following through on a few of them and hire some new talent. (Recruit one random hero from the rolodex if a number greater than 50 is rolled.)

[ ] Recruit at an SFIT Career Fair
The San Fransokyo Institute of Technology is the premier technical institute in California, rivaled only by the juggernaut of West Coast Tech. They are known for top of the line education and research producing wonders from the artificial brain to the world's first commercially viable lighter-than-air turbine. It is also known for the sheer number of graduates using their skills to enter the Cape scene, for better or worse. Thanks to a chance meeting with Dean Granville, you have an in to the best of the best's awkward formative years. You could get all sorts of valuable resources here; HATEBAGEL recruits, networking opportunities, or maybe even something better. It's like a gashapon, but with entire people.

[ ] Work for Dr. Heinz
-[ ] Which project?

Spoiler: Ludivine von Drake

[ ] Instruct your Coworkers.
Being ze smartest person in the room is exhausting. Zankfully, you haf years of experience in pedagogy to fall back on, and plenty of udda people to teach ze joy of knowledge.

-[ ] Choose a hero unit
The benefits of this roll will change depending on the aptitude and temperament of the hero unit, as well as how much of a difference there is between Ludivine's stats and theirs. This will have diminishing returns if done more than once.

[ ] Repair the Martian Robot
Ludwig may haf gotten ze Bootle Beetle when you separated, but you got ze robot! Right now though, he's not good for much of anyting udda dan some light housework. Thankfully, you just happen to be a genius!

Progress revealed: (62/150)

[ ] Work for Dokta Doof
-[ ] Which project?

Spoiler: Malifishmirtz

[ ] Watch El Matador de Amor
Your descendant introduced it to you on the magic picture box. It's got a surprisingly compelling narrative, and that one episode with Ponce de Leon had you on the edge of your seat.

[ ] Work for your descendant
-[ ] What project? (As a reminder, Malifishmirtz cannot be sent on any quests or work on any National Action that would require him to leave the city limits.)

Spoiler: Genghis Khan

[ ] Study history
Your studies into science and technology have progressed well. It's time for you to see what's happened to the world since your death.

Outcome: 'Artifact of the Past' malus removed, 0/200

[ ] Aid your Descendant
-[ ] Which project?

Spoiler: Francis Monogram and NOWCA

[ ] Take an acrobatics course
You may be… getting on in years, but that doesn't mean you can't still try for your true passions! Dreams don't have an expiration date. But life does, so better get cracking.

[ ] Watch El Matador de Amor
Doofenshmirtz introduced you to it a few months ago. It's a guilty pleasure.

[ ] Work for Doctor Doofenshmirtz
-[ ] Which project?

Spoiler: Norm Prime

[ ] End your obsession with platypodes
Norm's internal circuitry is still based around a single, fundamental, platypus hunting core. This limits his usefulness in non-platypus related areas. Attempting to rewire your own circuits is a dangerous activity, but Norm is determined to be the best Norm he can be. The better your AI technology is, the more likely this is to improve things and not make them worse.

[ ] Follow Father around
Norm's desire to help and please his creator knows no bounds. Practically, this means he spends a lot of time just watching you. He may end up helping you with whatever you're working on at the time, or even learn a thing or two from you.

You're putting a moratorium on this. Norm's been creeping you out by showing up in the oddest places just to stare at you.

[ ] Try to become a Real Boy
Norm's most fervent, secret desire is to be a real boy. Maybe if he wishes on a star hard enough, it will come true.

[ ] Polish Off Upgrades

Norm is more or less at par with the current tech available, and his development in this regard has started to plateau. If there's nothing else better to be done with his time, it wouldn't take that much to squeeze in the last few updates.

Outcome: Option of slight Norm Martial increase or of upgrading the ACME Retrofitted trait.

[ ] Work for Father
-[ ] Which project?

Spoiler: Dennis the Duck

[ ] Search for Donald
Just because you found a brilliant lead on where Donald might be doesn't mean you should stop looking everywhere else!

[ ] Train with Maui Mallard
You've found someone who closely resembles Donald! Now only is this way cooler than your last magical ninja teacher, but it might even provide you clues towards finding the real Donald.

(Progress revealed: 70/250)

[ ] Make Sandwiches
You're going through them at an alarming rate. Better build up a backlog!

[ ] Help the Pharmacist
[ ] What project?

Spoiler: Technor

[ ] Psychoanalyze
The first step to recovery is admitting Technor is right about everything. Despite the megalomania, Technor is a qualified therapist. Send him to talk to one of your employees to make sure they're still within two standard deviations of mental health. This can shed light on their issues or even reduce the burden of their manias for a short while!
[ ] Which employee?

LOCKED until May/June 2018

[ ] Build a giant robot body
It's been too long since you've had some time to make a bigger body for yourself! Use your free time to construct a body worthy of TECHNOR, THE MECHANICAL MAN!

[ ] Build giant robot arms
Your robot body can't very well get anything done without arms, now can it?! Devote some time to constructing the arms!

[ ] Build giant robot legs
How can your giant robot stomp all over your enemies without legs?! Floating robots just don't have the same impact!

[ ] Work for Dr. Doof
[ ] What project?

Spoiler: Max

[ ] Play some video games
It's been awhile since you took some time for yourself, and this year has been a pretty good one for video games so far. Use some of your paycheck to purchase a nice new gaming rig and have some fun.

[ ] Hang out with !*@#?
You're… not sure why you're thinking about this?
(124/150)

[ ] Work for the Doof
-[ ]Which project?

Spoiler: Janna

[ ] Prank your Coworkers
Ancient Mongolian warlords. Paranoiac laser specialists. Pompous supervillains. Exasperated interns. Even the big boss himself. DEI is a smorgasbord of potential targets. This is gonna be fun.

[ ] Study magic with Feldrake
You can't remember the last time you sat down to study anything, but circumstances have changed. You need to be ready for the worst.

[ ] Study the Manual of Witchcraft and Alchemy
You got this cool book at the auction for the low low price of absolutely free, and it's just brimming with all sorts of dark magic and secrets. Take some time to give the thing a read and see what more you can learn.

[ ] Commit Identity Theft
The Devil was dumb enough to put his signature right under the 'About the Author' section, and you've been practicing it for weeks. Now that you can forge Lucifer's name, you can think of all sorts of cool things to get up to.

[ ] Work for Brocamas
The king of dirty money has a lot of work that needs doing, and he needs clever young youths to do it for him. Sometimes, when things fall off trucks, their owners come back. And there might be a misunderstanding. You know?

Outcome: Possible further contacts in the Magus Bazaar, Janna may obtain new magical items

[ ] Do Stuff for the Doof
-[ ]Which Project?

Spoiler: Dr. Jumba Jookiba

[ ] Experiment!
Your evil Experiments are to being a scourge across entire spiral arm! Tinker in your workship and see what abomination you may create next!

Depending on the results of the roll, something great or terrible could come of this. Think of it as a second Inator roll weighted towards chaos. Recent events have made this slightly more likely to end well.

[ ] Visit Graceland
GalFed nanny police were never letting you visit home of King! Well they cannot stop you anymore, can they? May as well be taking the beanstalk too.

[ ] Work on New Man Project
You consider Janus to be a friend.

[ ] Finish incubating Tech E. Coyote
Radioactive colorant solution coyote is good proof of concept for New Men project! Only needs to finish incubating in gamma waves.

[ ] Finish incubating Hegosaurus
Boss lady heavily objects to former crush's combination with extinct reptile. Claims is for 'moral reasons'. Bah! Probably still not over him.

[ ] Finish incubating Subject T.K.
Most esoteric subject has incredible promise. Xenogenetics degree will be coming in very handy!

[ ] Work for fellow Evil Genius
-[ ] Which project?

Spoiler: Queen Lizzy

[ ] Work on excavation tech
You had a pretty good thing going before you were forced to scrap it all, lest your technology fall into enemy hands. Now that you've been let out of villain jail on work release, you might gain some points with your boss by drafting up some plans for your rapid excavation technology. He'll still have to figure out how to decipher your notes, but at least it'll be a gesture of goodwill.

[ ] Build backup tunnels
You've still got a few antborgs left over, hiding out in your lowermost warrens. You could direct them to build an escape route out of the city, just in case the worst comes to pass. You're not keen on the idea of running away again, but with all the crazies around it's better to be safe than sorry.

[ ] Hang out with Janna
It almost feels natural to talk to a person.

[ ] Work for the Pharmacist
-[ ] Which project?

Spoiler: Tobe and the Vagabond Ninja

[ ] Train with Maui Mallard
You've finally met a worthy master who isn't a quack!

...well. Anyway! If you pester him enough he'll have to keep his promise to train you in the ways of ninjutsu!

[ ] Study the Mad Mojo Cookbook
There's all sorts of interesting stuff inside the Cold Shadow's second greatest treasure. You can only imagine how this will synergize with the ninja magic you've already learned!

[ ] Look for a worthy opponent
It's been too long since you've sworn vengeance on someone. Find a worthy opponent so you can find something to drive you to even greater heights!

[ ] Train the Vagabond Ninja
They're not exactly up to par with what a competent employer would expect. You should really get on that.

[ ] Train ''''''your ninja'''''' some more
Yep, just training the Vagabond Ninja. No other ninja at all. You're definitely not training anyone else secretly because if the boss finds out their heads could explode. Nope.

[ ] Work for Master Doofenshmirtz
-[ ] Which project?

Spoiler: Kitsune

[ ] Spread Chaos
As it turns out, that little black card the apothecary has given you has accumulated quite a bit of currency behind it while you weren't looking, and with the wonders of human technology, travel has become quite convenient. Why not go sightseeing?

[ ] Set off Fireworks
It's been a while since you've played around with your stock.

[ ] Visit Magical New York
You have, technically, been recognized by the Patrician of the Magus Bazaar, and in retrospect, it has been quite the shame you hadn't paid mortal activity more mind. So many interesting little things, all packed into a neat little space. Who knows what you could get up to?

[ ] Work for the Odd Apothecary
-[ ] Which project?

Spoiler: Wendy Wower

[ ] Study Kronos AI
Wendy's never had the chance to see what makes an Omnidroid tick before. Since she's going to be working on improving the field of robotics as a whole, it behooves you to have her caught up on what the competition is doing. Oddly, she seems quite familiar with Funtelligence work.

[ ] Study a Robot
You have several unusual robots on staff, at least one of which might be sentient. Who knows what Wendy could uncover in figuring out how that… you know, happened.
-[ ] choose a robot

[ ] Upload more on Buzztube
Wendy may be a real scientist at last, but she still cares a lot about her work educating children. She doesn't need to keep the videos flowing anymore to put ramen on the fold-out table, but she doesn't want to leave her Woweroos behind either! Put out some more good content to help the kids of tomorrow learn to love science.

[ ] Offer Beginner Science Lessons
It's not that your job doesn't pay well. It does! Way, way better than before. But you do miss the satisfaction you get from seeing kid's faces light up about science. You can handle a couple of tutoring sessions a week.

[ ] Work for Doctor Doof
-[ ] Which project?

Wendy will be on an extended sabbatical until May/June 2018

Spoiler: Alan Bradley

[ ] ???
???

[ ] Transfer files off of DoofOS
The operating system is all but destroyed, and there is little likelihood that DEI would be willing to devote the time or resources into putting out a full reverse compatibility patch. Use what time you have left to transfer what you can, as there are several… important files that it would be a shame to lose.

[ ] Work for Doctor Heinz Doofenshmirtz
-[ ] Which project?

Spoiler: Wasabi

[ ] Organize your Workstation
You have a system. A place for everything, everything in its place.

Considering there are Toons in the building, that place may need to be bolted down.

(Progress revealed: 148/150)

[ ] Practice Mindfulness
Gardening, Knitting, Tai Chi, Model Trains. Your hobbies allow you brief respite and control away from the insane chaos of the world around you. If there's one thing Doofania has done, it's convince you that your worst fears were right all along. Hopefully not including the one about public speaking in your underwear.

[ ] Obsessively Check San Fransokyo Cape News
It's nothing, really. You just… really like Bluff Dunder. That's all. He has a very soothing voice, okay!?!

[ ] Work for your employer
-[ ] Which project?

Spoiler: Juniper

[ ] Dance Practice
It's what Dr. D hired you for, isn't it? Dance along to some musical numbers and earn your paycheck!

[ ] Meet your Coworkers
You like meeting new people! Especially new people who don't complain about petty larceny.

[ ] Work for Dr. D
-[ ] What project?

Spoiler: Gomez

[ ] Toady Up
You've been feeling…adrift, recently. You get that Dr. Doofenshmirtz has a big team, and a lot of people, and that you aren't his favorite minion so of course he wouldn't have time to supervise you personally but no matter how you rationalize it, you're feeling…unsupervised. You don't like it. Find…someone. To, uh, check your work. It's important to make sure things are going okay!

[ ] Work for the Bossman
-[ ] What project?

Spoiler: Mezmerella

[ ] Spam requisition requests. Fiddle with your costume
There's nothing wrong with it, except for all the little things that could maybe be improved, and who knows what could happen out there on the streets!

[ ] Commit Supervillainy
YES! AHAHAHAHAHA! The people of Colorado will learn to fear the Mistress of-Ahem. Actually maybe you should change that title, considering who's paying for your capes now.

[ ] Practice Hypnosis
Someone with your kind of powers has a fine line to tread, in this day and age. People get antsy, so even if you don't present it, control is important. And that means practice.

[ ] Work for your boss
-[ ] Which project?

Spoiler: Marion Moseby

[ ] Keep up with London
Even if you're no longer associated with Tipton, Incorporated, you still have a degree of fondness for the young heiress you… basically raised. Perhaps you should check in on how she's doing bereft of your influence.

…perhaps you'd better check in quickly.

[ ] Interact with the Toons
You've never had the pleasure of interacting with these… cartoons, before, but you've been led to understand most have an appreciation for the classics.

So why do you have this horrible sense of foreboding?

[ ] Wage war against the lobby ninja
There is a shadow looming over your lobby. You had assumed the 'lobby ninja' were metaphorical.

They were not.

Already you can tell the campaign will be long and hard, but you will have order!

[ ] Work for your boss
-[ ] Which project?

Contractors

Spoiler: Marco Diaz

[ ] Train with Macbeth
The demon is still out there, and Janna's prophecy indicates that she's going after Star next. Macbeth seems to have some sort of relationship with her- exactly what, you're not sure- but he's offered to teach you all her tricks and the best way to kill her. Spend the next few months training so you don't have a repeat of what happened in New York.

(Progress revealed: 161/250)

[ ] Search for Star
She's out there.

Reduces the DC of the 'Hunt for Star Butterfly' action.

[ ] Work for the Deranged Lunatic
-[ ] Which project? (Note that if assigned to an action or quest unrelated to his own focus of finding Star and stopping Toffee, Marco will cost 1 income.)

Spoiler: Tom Lucitor

[ ] Rule the Underworld
You're the prince of an entire dimension. You have stuff to do, as much as you wish you didn't.

This action will automatically be taken at least 3 turns per year. Tom only has one free action left this year.

[ ] Search for Star
You've never really had much luck before but apparently she was seen recently!

Reduces the DC of the 'Hunt for Star Butterfly' action.

[ ] Work for the Weird Guy
-[ ] Which project?

Spoiler: Roddy Blair, King of Lairs

[ ] Design a Lair
-[ ] Write-in a hero unit

Lairbuildin's what you do. And you're darn good at it. Seems like this Doofenshmirtz has a whole mountain of characters who could be doin' with their own private workspace.

Costs 1 funds.

[ ] Work for the Supervillain
-[ ] Which project?

Activate an Inator?
[ ] Activate an Inator
[ ] Don't activate an Inator

Assign an Item
Swap around who has what. Heroes will use items to the best of their ability and judgement.

[ ] Lord Feldrake (currently assigned to Janna)
-[ ] to whom?
Feldrake will only accept reassignment to someone with a higher Occult or better evil credentials.

[ ] Avatar of Feldrake (Currently unassigned)
-[ ] To whom?
Currently Damaged

Assigning this item will take up the assigned character's turn

You may only assign this item to a character with an Occult score

[ ] Ruby Wings (currently assigned to Mezmerella)
-[ ] To whom?

[ ] Jī Talisman-Telekinesis (Currently assigned to A$@%^ ^#@#)
-[ ] To whom?

[ ] Amur (Currently assigned to Kitsune)
-[ ] To whom?

[ ] Yang Talisman-Dream (Currently assigned to A$@%^ ^#@#)
-[ ] To whom?

There will be a three day and twelve hour moratorium on voting.

As a reminder, write-ins are acceptable pending QM approval. Just tell us the action you want to complete and we'll provide a DC, though some DCs will be unknown and presented as ???.

 

[Made in Heaven]

Negotiating with the Council

The council has begun to make their opinions known. But in addition to opinions, councilors also have interests. And if you support those interests, they may be willing to… budge, a bit.

Councilors who are Abstaining can typically be convinced to change their mind. Those vetoing an action are much, much harder to move. Just let us know an action you want to take that's currently forbidden, and we'll let you know what each councilor would demand in order to… switch sides.

Attempting to welch on an agreement is a very bad idea. Not only will it show your councilors that your word isn't worth anything, it will severely anger whoever you made a deal with, causing effects from a loyalty loss to vetoing everything out of pure spite. Consider what you offer carefully.

Oh. You…you almost forgot.

Spoiler: Occult Actions

[ ] Search for Agent Unknown

DC 80
Locating and returning this… Unknown Agent to the world will require you to find some sort of source or focus capable of drawing him back to the world, then using it as a beacon. Can't be that hard, right?

Council Outlook: 3/4 (Pass)
Coyote: A retcon? But if we have a lead on them…it wouldn't do to leave a trail unturned. (Pass)
Goofy: If there's someone in trouble, we should help 'em! No matter if we remember 'em or not! (Pass)
Janus Lee: I absolutely refuse to accept that something touched my mind in such a way. This had better not be one of your flights of fancy, Doctor… (Abstain)
Mirage: This all sounds a bit unbelievable, but I don't have much occult experience. (Abstain)
Ludivine: Not de weirdest ting I've dealt with. (Pass)
Malifishmertz: Oh, that's bad juju. If you don't remember them, then they probably aren't important! (Veto)

Outcome: Light a torch.

 

[Made in Heaven]

--[X] [Martial] Rent out your PMC (Khan) [CoS 100%] (Crit threshold 91+/0)
DC 100
73+21+55+12+11=172
Success

Your PMC was snapped up for 'security solutions' in New York. It was about a week in that they realized they had been hired by the mob. Khan and his men spent their time guarding apparently abandoned warehouses and watching over streets with no apparent reason. Up until five men with dragon skulls on their heads tried to break into an apartment in Astoria.

It seems that Bill Sykes has been extending his 'protection services' to the other New York underground, and wanted to make absolutely sure nobody made him a liar this month. The issue was 'dealt with' in short order with Khan's usual efficiency, and your men did not shoot anyone, so you suppose it's fine.

Reward: +3 funds, -5 living Huntsclan

--[X] [Diplomacy] Recruit Cruella De Vil (Technor) [CoS 93%] (Crit threshold 92+/1)
DC 80
84+18+33+14+4+4(XP)=157
Success

Technor's interview with fashion designer Cruella de Vil went very well. The woman was indeed looking for new horizons and opportunities to expand into new markets. Possibly due to an implied but not acknowledged loss of face in the French underworld. What sealed the deal was the opportunity to work for a company known to be at the center of the Cape scene; and thus, one that gives her the opportunity to get one over on famed Super designer Edna Mode, who she apparently despises.

The woman seems sane, if a bit amoral (TECHNOR stated VERY amoral but you know that guy, psychoanalyzing everybody), and apparently has an intense love of furs.

Cruella De Vil has been recruited!

--[X] [Diplomacy] Collaborate with Olympia (Doof & Goofy) [CoS 100%] (Crit threshold 91+/0)
DC 30
95+23+18+14=150
Critical Success!

To be continued in Interlude: Nice Work If You Can Get It

--[X] [Stewardship] Implement Large Herbivore Exhibits (Roddy) [CoS 71%] (Crit thresholds 94+/3-)
DC 120
13+24+29+15+13+10(XP)=104
Failure

The sheer degree of expansion needed to move from raptors and parasaurolophuses to animals larger than a bull elephant has proven a little too complicated for two month's work. Roddy is nonetheless not one to leave work half done, and is ready to get back at it.

--[X] [Stewardship] Buy out a rival corporation: Hopper Food Group (Moseby) [CoS 96%] (Crit thresholds 92+/1-)
DC 95
66+24+36+13+5+3+10(XP)=157
Success

To be continued in Interlude: Mr. Moseby's First Day

--[X] [Stewardship] Rebuild Sinatron (Monogram) [CoS 95%] (Crit threshold 92+/1-)
DC 70
52+24+16+13+2+10(XP)=117
Success

To be continued in Interlude: Nice Work If You Can Get It

--[X] [Intrigue] Root out high-level moles (Mezmerella) [CoS 74%] (Crit thresholds 94+/3-)
DC 120
93+18+31+17+5+10(???)+3+10(XP)=177
Excellent Success

To be continued in Interlude: Find Fantastic Part 1: Clean Slate

--[X] [Intrigue] Interrogate Michael Yagoobian (Tobe) [CoS 92%] (Crit thresholds 91+/1-)
DC 80
27+18+25+17+2+10(XP)=99
Bare Success

Tobe wasted several days searching for Michael Yagoobian before finding him having colonized the boiler room. The man then proceeded to tell a completely insane story involving time travel machines, a hat named Doris, a spaceship that delivers pizza, far too many supporting characters, and a visionary genius named That Boy who he considers himself to be in an eternal rivalry with. Most of it is a little thick even for you, and you can tell that the man editorializes wildly. However, what you can manage to glean for certain out of the weirdo's confused rambling is that InventCo may in fact be subordinated by the very hats they create, and that they are a serious threat you probably don't want to ignore. You're not sure if 'rogue AI' is better or worse than 'mind control corporation', but you are now very certain you don't want them in your territory. Given the only way that you know of to create an intelligent AI, this may also be a sign that 'humanization' does not guarantee a nice person by the end of it…

Tobe, for his part, totally believes the man's story and has promised to 'inform the proper authorities about this clear violation of time travel law', a statement which he refused to elaborate on when you asked before then jumping through a window. He has declared Yagoobian to be a 'brilliant mastermind' and encourages you to hire him before he is snapped up by a rival.

You… you're not going to do that. But regardless, you do need to do… something with him.

[ ] Let him stay in the boiler room
The man hasn't caused much trouble… yet. No one really likes him, but you can relate to that, and the nemesis thing. Let him stay where he is.

Outcome: Goob remains within the best protections a boiler room can provide
Goob remains mostly free and able to act.
Goob becomes a Tier 1 Secret

[ ] Lock him up somewhere
It would… probably be dangerous to let this guy wander around, including to himself. Might be best to just… unlawfully imprison him. If his story's true there's no record of his existence anyway!

Outcome: Goob is placed somewhere as safe as you can get him.
Goob becomes a Tier 2 Secret
You commit what is technically a crime but come on, who'd blame you, really? Goob. Goob would blame you, and if he ever got out he'd probably kick a rock. Maybe throw an egg at your building.

[ ] Throw him out
Yeah, this isn't your problem. Well you mean the hats, yes, that is your problem, but not this guy. He's not. Now that you have what you need, toss him onto the street and let him find his own way to… wherever he's going.

Outcome: Goob is no longer your problem.

There's a 24 hour moratorium on this to encourage more discussion of the turn.

You have recorded the details of an unbelievable story and discovered more about InventCo and its goals.
InventCo related intrigue actions DC reduced!
Some councilors have changed their stances!

--[X] [Learning] Study weird object (Jumba) [CoS 72%] (Crit thresholds 94+/7-)
DC 140
3+38+39+20+5+10 (XP)=115
Critical Failure!

To be continued in Interlude: Find Fantastic Part 2: So That's What It Feels Like

--[X] [Learning] Decode Odd Transmissions (Lizzy) [CoS 79%] (Crit thresholds 93+/6-)
DC 120
80+38+32+20+4+5 (Whale-Translate-Inator)+10(XP)=189
Success

Lizzy didn't know anything about the study of linguistics or translating things in general, so you had to do the bulk of the work while she provided moral support. For some ineffable reason, your whale-translator-inator actually made things easier! It made no logical sense, but it seemed to turn the horrific garbled transmission into something resembling Old Japanese! Clearly, your genius exceeds even your own grasp! From there, it was a painstakingly long process of looking through actual books from the library and consulting a bunch of experts from overseas, but the end result of it is that you finally have an idea of what those transmissions are saying!

Spoiler: Transcription

"Milady, it's time for the ball! Milady!"

"[garbled]-the camera's sideways, turn it right side up!"​

"Milady, may I suggest-"

"You shouldn't."​

"-that perhaps you should watch less anime."

"Maybe I could try drawing one instead."​

"I stand aside in anticipation."

"But should I draw with subs or dubs?"​

"Normally you begin with hands, Milady."

"Language is important. Even if human language is terrible."​

"Human language is indeed rather terrible."

"Whether something is conveyed visually or by sound, it's still inconvenient."​

"This is why table manners are important, Milady."

"Indeed. But if the talking is by voice then you have to split your attention, and if the talking is by text then you have less room for it."​

"You can always do both."

"Are you more likely to understand more with both?"​

"According to the wisdom of the late Lord Windstille…there is a minimum you must meet. Like doing the limbo without legs."

"Do the humans meet that standard?"​

"Perhaps we could invite them again?"

"We should meet more humans."​

"Even if they have no appreciation for language?"

"They can bring more anime. I can accept that as an apology."​

"Triangulate the Odd Transmissions" action unlocked! It sounds like there's someone on the end interested in meeting people, maybe? The technology used to broadcast it certainly is mysterious.

--[X] [Occult] Basic Magic Theory (Janna) [CoS 90%] (Crit thresholds 92+/1-)
DC 75
1d6=5 (no wander)
13+4+17+12+19+3+10(XP)=78
Bare Success

Janna's seminar on magic was notably lackluster, you could tell that her heart really wasn't into it. As it turns out, being a teacher is no better than having a teacher, and she had to do both of those things to make sure your whole occult division was up to speed, yuck. Regardless, Feldrake loves to yammer, so you mostly got what you wanted.

"Magic is a fundamental aspect of reality that allows individuals to apply force to that reality through their willpower. There are two main ways to obtain that force. Those with an innate magical reservoir, such as dragons, demons, and certain lucky ducks… or humans, can draw upon their own power to do magic, and often in fact have inherent or instinctual ways in which that magic can be used. For the rest of us, we have to use a Focus of some kind to channel magic power from the world we inhabit. Magic flows from the World Heart across the world via leylines.

"There are dozens of magical traditions across the globe, none of which are right but some of which are righter than others. All of them are in effect frameworks made to understand and manipulate an inherently ineffable force. You can think of it like gravity. General Relativity may have supplanted Newton's laws, but it still can't explain everything. And if you want to, say, calculate the speed of an apple, you'd really rather be using Newtonian Acceleration than trying to figure out relativistic frameworks.

"Some traditions may insist they are the one true path to magic, for practical or moral reasons. All bunkum. You can have the Morganian Star or the Kandrakarian Elements, whatever. Pick and choose your way to ultimate power. Heck, you can even use the Merlin Circle if you want, so long as you ignore all those namby pamby moral restrictions. Sometimes more flexibility for less power is a good tradeoff! Not often, but sometimes!"

Basic Study Magic personal action unlocked, look into magical people online action unlocked, hold a magical seminar action unlocked, track magical creatures action unlocked, look back through your magic stuff action unlocked, Map Leylines action unlocked. Study specific traditions actions available but locked behind gaining a reliable source on those traditions (Merlinian, Morganian, Kandrakarian, etc)

--[X] [Occult] Search for Agent Unknown (Gomez) [CoS 82%] (Crit thresholds 93+/2-)
DC 80
47+19+12+19+2+10(XP)=99
Success

To be continued in Interlude: Find Fantastic Part 1: Clean Slate

-[X] Personal Actions:
--[X] Doof:
---[X] Accept Bellwether's Invitation (-10)
77-10=67

To be continued in Interlude: Storms on the Horizon

---[X] Do some introspection about Norm (+40)
22+50-10=62

Despite being distracted by recent events, you set aside some time for yourself to really think about Norm and what his relationship with you actually meant. You looked out of your office window down on the street, idly bouncing a ball against the wall of the building, then blowing it up with heavy ordinance. You were never really looking for a son when you built him, but with your recent revelations about AI, you kiiiiiinda have a responsibility now? You think? Your interactions with Norm basically turned him from a dumb AI into something that does think he's your son, so… So. Regardless of what you originally thought, you're pretty sure that you've got a responsibility now.

Doof now acknowledges Norm as a child he created.

"Spend Time With Norm" Doof personal action unlocked.
"Spend Time With Father" Norm personal action unlocked.

---[X] Chat with the Bossman (Coyote) (-10)
63-10=53

To be continued in Interlude: Find Fantastic Part 1: Clean Slate

---[X] Activate Automatic Potion Brewer
The following potions have been added to your list of stuff:

Potion of Polymorph (random polymorph for the duration of a quest, could make quest easier or harder)
Red Liquid: (When the holder is to be defeated in a quest, they aren't. Alternatively, if someone would be hospitalized or disabled for a turn, they aren't. If the injury is very serious, it will help to mitigate it but won't remove it entirely.)

--[X] Norm (End your obsession with platypodes)
38+10 (Spark)=48

For the first time, Norm attempted to tinker with his own internal processes dictating his primary purpose- to hunt platypi. You're unsure what spurred him on now of all times, maybe some of that molasses got stuck in there deeper than you thought. While he obviously didn't have much experience with programming, much less self-modification surgery, he still did his best to try and divorce himself from his platypus-hunting core. The modification wasn't a complete success, but perhaps in this instance the attempt was more impressive than the result.

Norm no longer feels compelled to obey Doofenshmirtz on a fundamental level!

Time will tell what comes of this.

--[X] Dennis (Train with Maui Mallard)
71
Dennis continued practicing with Maui Mallard when he could manage it. From the sound of things, progress was slow but steady. Maui finally stopped making him wax his surfboard and went on to allow him to clean up Hernae's shop!

Progress revealed: 141/250

--[X] Wasabi (Organize your Workstation) (148/150)
88

Progress revealed: 150/150

Wasabi spent two. Literal. Months. Trying to find an optimum arrangement for his pencils. Two. Months. You think he… enjoyed it.

Wasabi gains 1d3+1=2 Stewardship!
Wasabi gains +5 Loyalty!

--[X] Alan (Transfer files off of DoofOS)
7

Alan successfully transferred everything he wanted off of DoofOS onto DaedalOS. It was a bit menial, but relaxing in its simplicity.

Everything is fine.

--[X] Juniper (Dance Practice)
40

Juniper spent the bulk of the month keeping her routines in tip top shape. She's still part of your kickline first and foremost, so it's good to see her commitment to the craft.

(Progress revealed: 40/100)

--[X] Kitsune (Spread Chaos)
6

Kitsune had fun.

To be continued in Interlude: Storms on the Horizon

--[X] Marco (Train with Macbeth)
69

Marco remained tight-lipped about what he did in New York. You get the sense he was satisfied with it though, and may be nearing a conclusion.

(Progress revealed: 230/250)

--[X] Tom (Search for Star)
56

Tom's search for Star was only marginally successful. He's ruled out a few locations, particularly on the interdimensional scene, further cementing your suspicion that Star is somewhere on Earth. Of course, those questions might eventually get back to other ears…

The global DC for 'Hunt for Star' has been reduced by 5!

--[X] Max (Job shadow Moseby)
60

To be continued in Interlude: Mr. Moseby's First Day

Ludivine Wander check: 1d6=6
Absent-Minded activates!
Roll 1d5 to select the lowest Learning action: Flubber Antigravity

[ ] Flubber Antigravity
DC 90 [crit threshold 96+/4-]
5+40+10 (XP)=55
Unimaginably Close Miserable Failure!

Ludivine, in a fit of whimsy, decided it would be a perfect idea to hold an impromptu press conference and demonstrate how absolutely safe Flubber was. Fortunately, she was quite literally pulled off stage before she could actually demonstrate anything, but... you're still looking at a PR debacle on your hands.

--[X] Activate Inator:
Pause-Butt-Inator, Subtype Bad: Inator stops time for only Dr. Doofenshmirtz and perhaps a select few henchmen. By the time they emerge from the pause effect, whatever task they were trying to accomplish is now considerably more difficult due to deadline pressure or enemies taking advantage of their inaction. One randomly selected action has a -10 to the raw dice roll. This effectively raises the critical failure chance by 10, and correspondingly reduces the critical success chance by the same amount.

 

[Made in Heaven]

"You know I-, I have to say, I'm your biggest fan."

"Heh. I never woulda guessed. You still got that autograph?"

"Of course, I keep it on my fridge. I mean- you remember me?!"

The disembodied head of Frank Sinatra gave his usual winning smile. "Hard to forget anything about that night, pal."

"Oooh!" Monogram cheered, dancing slightly in place. "Yes, indeedy! You certainly did it Your Wa- oh wait, you never liked that one. Uh. You sure did Fly to the Moon- no- That Sure Was Life- no, uh… what was it a fella once said…"

"Monogram," You grouse. "Will you stop fawning over our lounge singer friend? If you've got to be here, make yourself useful and hand me that allen wrench."

"Hmph." Monogram grumbled, handing you the tool in question with a huff. "Don't mind him, Franky. I'm sure he doesn't appreciate your genius."

"What I don't appreciate is you acting like a teenage girl at a 4*Town concert. You're bothering the poor mandroid."

"Aw, it's no trouble at all Heinz. Guy like me lives for the fans."

"Well it's a good thing we have some spare hydraulic bearings lying around then."

"You know Heinz, it's amazing how familiar you are with Gadget tech. I'd almost think you'd worked with it before."

You and Sinatron look at each other for a moment. You were just beginning to sweat when the robot head burst out laughing.

"Oh, I'm just yankin' your chain, Heinz. I knew you stole my specs the whole time. S'what I woulda done. Don' worry about it."

"Heh. Heh. Okay. Right. Well Mr. Sinatron, we're just about finished here. I need to make a few more calibrations to the firmware and double-check that Coyote didn't try to sneak the giant mallet back in, and then your body will be good to go!"

"Stupendous! I'm much obliged to ya doctor. Woulda taken weeks an' weeks ta get back on my feet without your support. This is gonna make everything else way smoother sailing."

"Hello?" came a voice from your lab doors, and a head peeks around the frame after a moment. Winston Deavor slipped into the room after only a moment's wait. "How are things coming? We have a very angry shareholder's meeting this afternoon I would absolutely love not to face alone."

"Relax Win, we're outta the woods. Why don't you kick back and chat with Heinz for a bit, given all he's doing for us?"

"Oh, yeah!" You say, very slightly reducing your habitual hunch. "Winston! I don't think we've talked since the gala! The uh, the last one. I was… busy. Last month."

"You'd be right. And I still need to thank you."

"For the ah, the gala thing?" you ask. "Listen, that was mostly Mir-ah-Elizabeth's idea, if I'm being fully honest, so-"

"Not just that." Winston replies. "Do you remember what you said to me at that gala, Doctor?"

"Uhhh…" you think back. "Something about sticking it to Syndrome?"

"Yes! Exactly!" Winston nodded his head enthusiastically. "I'll admit, I've been… better than I am now. But I've never been worse than I was on that night. You helped wake me up. Reminded me there were others out there who cared about Supers. And you proved me right! Even if it was 'all Elizabeth', the fact that you put her in charge says volumes. I don't think anyone's done for Supers what she did."

"Uhhhhh…"

You and Sinatron look at each other uncomfortably for a moment.

"So anyway!" You force. "How're things with you?"

This comment somehow does not defuse the awkwardness.

"Well. My sister went insane, mind controlled half of our company, tried to sabotage everything I worked for, and tried to kill a large portion of corporate America."

"Right." You reply. "I uh… yeah. That's rough, buddy."

Another moment of silence stretches between you before something finally occurs. "You know… I think I sort of understand what you're going through now. Not the whole… sister thing, but the 'company reputation thrown into unmanageable chaos'... bit. After the whole Flubber debacle… deugh. I'm still having nightmares." You say before elaborating after a moment. "Fried velociraptor."

"Ah, yes." Winston says sympathetically. "I heard about that. What… happened, exactly?"

"Overzealous science." You reply tersely. "The lawyers that I apparently have advise me not to go into greater detail. I was keeping the specs in a drawer for a rainy day. Literally, apparently the stuff can control the weather. Would have made for a good evil scheme."

"Doctor I… don't you think that's a little… dangerous of a thing to keep around just for a potential publicity stunt?"

"What?" You ask. "Okay, this is like the third time you've mentioned. What do you mean 'publicity stunt'?"

"The… evil plans?" Winston looks at you oddly.

"Oh, those aren't publicity stunts." You reply. "Winston, I'm an evil scientist."

"What?!"

"Yeah! You know, like Shego running her little chunk over in Middleton. I won, got to take over the Tri-State Area… sort of. It… it's complicated."

"It's really not that complicated." Monogram interjected.

"Quiet you." You reply.

"You're… an actual supervillain!!!" Winston said, voice rapidly growing excited. "Oooh, did you have a nemesis? Did they have incredible powers? Sleuthing wits?"

"Oh yes, he was the most powerful platypus you'd ever seen!"

You get the sense that some sort of nonexistent music track has cut out.

"Platypus?"

"Uh, yeah. Platypus secret agent. You know. Do they not have those in Metroville?"

"Like a platypus… man?"

"No, just a regular platypus. Well. I say regular. He was a semi-aquatic egg-laying mammal of action! You should have seen him escape my brilliant traps while I monologued."

Winston nodded sagely. "How'd you beat him?"

Your mood immediately falls. "I uh… I'd rather not talk about that, if I'm honest."

Winston, for his part, seems to sense some sort of mistake. "Well. Um. Would you like to… tell me something about him?"

You think for a moment.

"Yeah." You say. "Yeah, I think I would."

===

You spend more time than you probably should nattering on to the man about those bygone days, evil schemes and death-defying battles. Winston, to your surprise, seems genuinely interested in every word, even as he seems to have trouble believing some of them. Eventually, your well runs dry, and you lapse into a much more comfortable silence than the last few.

"You know." Winston says. "You don't seem very evil."

"Excuse me?!?!" You shriek in sudden fury, leaping to your feet.

"Like, since you've taken over, you don't really seem to have hurt anyone. Or gone on any rampages-"

"Of course not!" You declare. "I own the Tri-State Area now, I can't just go messing it up. That's my stuff!"

"Uh… huh." Winston replies.

"There's more to being evil than hurting people." You say officiously. "Like being unreasonably petty about personal slights, or obsessing over your traumatic past, or creating mind-boggling inventions for little to no coherent reason. It's about standing up and saying 'hey world! Look out for me!'"

You frown.

"Anyway! I'll thank you not to insult my villain cred."

"Fair enough." Winston says with a smile, just as a loud ding rings across the room.

"That's my cue!" The newly-complete Sinatron declares, standing up from the workbench and performing a quick tapdance diagnostic. "Winston, you can just sit back and relax from here on out. Ol' Frankie'll take care of everything."

"Aha! You sure do Have the World on a String!" Monogram declares, making you jump. You forgot he was there. "There we go! Nailed it."

"Ah, thanks, Frank." Winston says, after a moment. "You know, I had a few ideas we could run past the board if we wanted to-"

"And I bet they're amazing, Win! I'll take a look at the whole kaboodle once we have this little mess with the board behind us."

Winston frowns. "I was really hoping to get the board's input-"

"Winston, baby." Sinatron says, putting a hand on the man's shoulder. "You know the Deavor name's got problems right now. If we want you to stick in place at the top of the heap, we need to be subtle about this, capice? You gotta let me do the sweet-talkin' and not ask any more of 'em for the time being. It'll keep things stable."

You frown again. It's not an angry frown, this time, but the sort of frown you get when you're struggling with an alien concept. The greater specifics of the moment escape you, but one some level, you can't help but notice that Winston seems a little… pushed aside. You have a lot of experience in that department. He really doesn't strike you as the supervillain type, but… maybe you could give him some encouragement? It might also help with that whole 'lingering guilt over his supervillain sibling' thing!

===
Monogram appreciates getting to spend time with his favorite celebrity!
Sinatron has been repaired! External factions attempting to take over Olympia have been stymied! Alliance maintained!
Anti-Super Old Guard faction under Cyrus Bortell fails to metastasize!
Remaining power struggle will be between: Sinatron and Winston.

Crit Effects: A lucky chance to tip the scales…

[ ] Bet on the Horse That's Winning
Winston's not a supervillain, and besides you were never really a pep-talk person. Sinatron's probably right.

Outcome: Sinatron is poised to take a leading role. Sinatron is likely to become Olympia's Kingpin in all but name. The man knows what he's doing.

[ ] You Just Have to Learn to be More Assertive
See if you can get Winston to stand up for himself! Ideally through evil means, but you'll take what you can get. You kinda like the guy. Nobody ever listens to your backstories anymore, especially not the pleasant ones. The sad ones have a sort of… bile fascination to them.

Outcome: Winston has a better chance of holding his own, even if he might not be able to do it all by himself. Olympia is more agreeable with Winston around, but he doesn't quite have the chops for skullduggery.

There is a twelve hour moratorium on voting.