This is a cursed image. You forgot to add 'Porn With Plot', 'Bondage', and 'Improper Use of Inators'.

You are right, at least for the first, as for the second two...




Please, two men consensually getting it on while keeping mindful of the plot? You child, you do not know true darkness. But if you wish, I can show you it.

Keyhole by C-Moon69
Fandoms: Phineas and Ferb, Gargoyles, The 7D
Mature
Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings
M/M
Incomplete
23 Oct 2020
Chapters 37
Tags
No Archive Warnings Apply, Dr Doofenshmirtz, David Xanatos, A/B/O Dynamics, Mpreg, Bondage, Non-Consensual Sex, Improper Use of Inators', humiliation kink, Alpha!Doof, Omega!Xanatos, Dwarf Sex, Gang-bang, softboi!Xanatos, dark!edgy!Doof, NTR

Summary: David Xanatos, the world's most powerful businessman, has a secret, he is secretly an omega. Only through suppressants and careful plans has he hidden this fact. However when he invites Dr. Doofenshmirtz over, he couldn't have planned for the Doctor's latest inator removing all suppressants and sending his mating instincts into overdrive, nor that the unassuming Doctor was actually an Alpha.
 
I was just watching some videos and thought of something.

What kinds of freaky occult shit do you think could be found in the Catacombs of Paris? You know, the massive and not fully mapped maze-like mass grave filled with and made from literally millions of corpses just sitting beneath one of the largest cities in the world?
Necromancer workshops, vampire havens, and something artistic and impressive made by a long dead hunchback?

Honestly, that seems to be more risk than it's worth.
 
I fully support warning them as a Humblebrag, in a way that says "Oh yeah, I'm entirely capable of fucking with reality on a global scale, and I might well not have warned you of it beforehand. What else can I do that you're unaware of?" because it's to our advantage, and it's how they're gonna read this warning anyways. But the selling point here is that it benefits us, not that we owe Xannay anything.

See, this is EXACTLY the kind of thing I'd like to avoid.

We CAN affect all of reality with strange and bizarre effects.

We CAN'T reliably do it repeatedly or on command. It is in fact random one shots we have VERY little control over.

I'd rather not advertise that our very existence is basically playing Russian roulette with reality itself.

It may make us seem like more of a threat than we actually are to our allies AND enemies.

Pretty sure Xanatos and everyone else on the planet would be annoyed with us if they knew, so, let's just keep this to ourselves, yes?
 
YEEEESSSSSSS o7
[[REDACTED]]
I know I looked at something. I can't quite tell WHAT, but something horrible happened.
Ok, this is getting weird. Like, did y'all raid the SCP vaults for Number 55? Because...
You know what? All in favor of just letting Bill Cypher out of Oregon and ending our suffering?
...Something tells me he's right.
 
Necromancer workshops, vampire havens, and something artistic and impressive made by a long dead hunchback?

Honestly, that seems to be more risk than it's worth.
It's established that magic is based on concepts and ideas, imagine what could come from a place that so positively filled to the brim with the concepts of death, darkness and getting lost? A place with legends saying that somewhere deep within it's depths you could find the gate to Hell, and I'm not talking about not the Mewni one. I'm just trying to picture what it would be like in a world with actual magic.
 
Well, I had to sit through this movie just now, so what the hell.

The Secret-Inator (Good) - After watching this movie called "The Secret", you learned that the secret to success is to want something and focus on wanting it to the point of expecting it. Now with your The Secret-Inator your lowest rolling hero unit, your highest rolling hero unit, and a roll to make an invention meant to be mass produced for the public will have a +30 roll added to all of the actions where this could plausibly work.

The Secret-Inator (Bad) - After watching this movie called "The Secret", you learned that the secret to success is to want something and focus on wanting it to the point of expecting it. Unfortunately, reality ensued, so one random hero unit will be unable to work for a turn due to having a mental breakdown and all of your hero unit's rolls will have a -10 drop for a turn due to their apparent arrogance.

How does this look?
 
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I leave for an hour and this is what I come back to?

Man, I wish the omake I'm writing is done so I could post it now. It seems like the perfect time:V
 
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Sometimes I read through quest threads and chance upon interesting conversations and hidden insights and I feel vindicated in my decision to participate and warmed by the fact that some humans somewhere are still capable of making good things.

Please, two men consensually getting it on while keeping mindful of the plot? You child, you do not know true darkness. But if you wish, I can show you it.

Keyhole by C-Moon69
Fandoms: Phineas and Ferb, Gargoyles, The 7D
Mature
Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings
M/M
Incomplete
23 Oct 2020
Chapters 37
Tags
No Archive Warnings Apply, Dr Doofenshmirtz, David Xanatos, A/B/O Dynamics, Mpreg, Bondage, Non-Consensual Sex, Improper Use of Inators', humiliation kink, Alpha!Doof, Omega!Xanatos, Dwarf Sex, Gang-bang, softboi!Xanatos, dark!edgy!Doof, NTR

Summary: David Xanatos, the world's most powerful businessman, has a secret, he is secretly an omega. Only through suppressants and careful plans has he hidden this fact. However when he invites Dr. Doofenshmirtz over, he couldn't have planned for the Doctor's latest inator removing all suppressants and sending his mating instincts into overdrive, nor that the unassuming Doctor was actually an Alpha.
This is not one of those times.

Also 0/10 the amount of random tags didn't take up the entire page when I opened what should have remained closed forever.
 
You are right, at least for the first, as for the second two...

Please, two men consensually getting it on while keeping mindful of the plot? You child, you do not know true darkness. But if you wish, I can show you it.

Keyhole by C-Moon69
Fandoms: Phineas and Ferb, Gargoyles, The 7D
Mature
Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings
M/M
Incomplete
23 Oct 2020
Chapters 37
Tags
No Archive Warnings Apply, Dr Doofenshmirtz, David Xanatos, A/B/O Dynamics, Mpreg, Bondage, Non-Consensual Sex, Improper Use of Inators', humiliation kink, Alpha!Doof, Omega!Xanatos, Dwarf Sex, Gang-bang, softboi!Xanatos, dark!edgy!Doof, NTR

Summary: David Xanatos, the world's most powerful businessman, has a secret, he is secretly an omega. Only through suppressants and careful plans has he hidden this fact. However when he invites Dr. Doofenshmirtz over, he couldn't have planned for the Doctor's latest inator removing all suppressants and sending his mating instincts into overdrive, nor that the unassuming Doctor was actually an Alpha.
To paraphrase GoldenCookie, this is the most cursed fucking thing to come out of this quest.
 
Somehow, My Little Pony has leaked into the timestreams. And not even the normal stuff - Equestria Girls.
Yes... Somehow.

Truly a mystery that we could never possibly solve.

Also, we have anthros, toons, and ducks. Is Ponies that strange? Especially dimensional invader magical conqueror ponies who are secretly hiding as teenage girls? Is that really so odd that It couldn't fit into this Bill-ridden world?
 
Yes... Somehow.

Truly a mystery that we could never possibly solve.

Also, we have anthros, toons, and ducks. Is Ponies that strange? Especially dimensional invader magical conqueror ponies who are secretly hiding as teenage girls? Is that really so odd that It couldn't fit into this Bill-ridden world?
I mean, Beastars is canon due to an omake so if thats possible than ponies might be too
 
FIRST IT WAS MY EYES!!! NOW IT'S MY BRAIN!!!!!!
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Interlude: Speech of the Devil
"Why am I here again?!?!" Tobe complained.

When Janna convinced Tom to summon up the ghost of Star's great-great-great-something grandmother, the last thing he expected was for a ninja to be present. According to Janna, these guys managed to summon her by complete accident the last time… and in doing so ended up giving out a pretty serious prophecy that might be coming into play within the next few months.

"Listen Tobe, you were a stable conduit last time. We can't risk messing that up."

Tom tilted his head. "Janna, that's not how it wor-"

"Hush. I called you here to help, not talk."

Tom frowned. "All right, all right. Which Queen are we summoning again?"

"The awkward prophet." Tobe supplied.

"What?"

"It's Celena." Janna explained as she drew the summoning circle.

"Oh wow, really? Her dad was like, my second cousin or something."

"Oh, you'll have a lot to talk about then."

"Yeaaaaah, he… died of a broken heart."

"Oh no, that's so sad! The loss of true love is a terrible thing." Tobe declared.

"No, I mean Celena's mom literally broke his heart in a spell misfire."

"Oh."

"Which maaaaaay or may not have been a deliberate murder."

"Maybe don't bring that up." Janna said.

"Great-Grandpa Relicor still gets upset about it. ...More upset than he normally is, I mean."

With that Tom poured the brew of lemon, almond oil and marigolds over the circle, and the spell was complete. He chanted a few words in Demon and, after a moment, Tobe's eyes and cheeks began to once again glow. This time they'd left a paper fan at the ready, which Celena immediately snapped up.

"Oh. you uh… Actually summoned me again. I… didn't expect that."

"Hi there." Tom said, waving awkwardly. "You're Star's great-great grandmother, right?"

Celena sighed. "I am so bad at keeping secrets. Yes, yes I am."

Tobe blinked. "Wait. If you're really old, why do you still sound like you're seventeen or something?"

Janna shrugged. "Some people are just born with the soul of a cripplingly shy teenager."

Celena blushed. It was a very impressive blush, as it could be seen through both a paper fan and a facemask.

Janna enjoyed the schadenfreude for another moment, then rescued her. "All right all right. We did call you here for a reason."

"Oh, yes, would you like another fortune?"

"Yeah." Janna replied. "Just about the company, how it's doing, anything useful you can tell us."

"Ooh, vague." Celena said softly. "That makes it easier."

"Hey, I summoned her!" Tom complained. "How come Janna gets to ask the questions?"

Celena was already shuffling the cards.

"All right, everyone remembers the last time right? Tarot, Aureole, Problem Past Present Path? I… really don't want to have to explain it again."

Tom raised a hand. "I have a couple of-"

"You'll figure it out as we go along." Janna said.

"Why do I… hang out with you?"

"You love me and you know it."

Celena shuffled the cards like a shark, doing a few tricks seemingly out of habit before laying them out on the table. This time Tom was actually able to tell her the star-months in Mewni, avoiding the need for a d12.

"The Problem." Celena said, holding up the first card. "The King. Sign of compassion, aid, and forgiveness. As a problem, it can represent someone who needs these… or, it could be a sign that aid and forgiveness you hope to provide will be poisoned. It is modified by the sign of the Silkworm, a sign of intelligence, independence, and secrecy. This could represent the person who needed helping, or the person who provides help. Or it could speak to the situation itself."

Celena moved to the next card, a four-armed woman with butterfly wings and swords in hand. "The Past, Battle Strength. Victory, strength and achievement. Someone related to this prophecy has succeeded incredibly, and recently. It is modified by the Pony Head, a sign of allure, admiration and mystery. It is very similar to the tadpole in this alignment… it is possible it refers to the same person as that reading. In which case, someone has recently achieved great success in an area you hope to help others, or others need help."

The next card was the blue Master of the Book, the same card that so concerned Celena in the last reading.

"The Master represents challenge, sacrifice, consequence, and the facing of reality as it truly is. With the sheer mystery swirling around this reading… there is something you do not know, a threat, a challenge, or something lost. You do not understand what is going on, and if you act rashly without that knowledge, it could be disastrous."

"That sounds important." Janna interjected. "What's it about?"

"I do not know." Celena replied. "I know little of this DEI, you will need to put the pieces together yourself. Perhaps the last card will help you."

Celena drew a sun, smiling madly. "The rising sun. Personal gain, success. An opportunity. Modified by the Pig-Goat… sign of hyperactivity, fun-loving, stubbornness, impulsivity, and a difficulty following society's rules. There is a person, someone who fits this description, who will be of great use to you in cutting through this tangle. With their aid you can avoid potential disaster, and reap incredible reward. Watch for someone hyperactive, fun-loving, impulsive and pigheaded. Despite their negative qualities, they will be a blessing in disguise."

"You're not talking about Star again, are you?"

"No, definitely not." Celena replied calmly while also nervously double-checking. "I had the spread specifically exclude anything Mewman-related, it's some other thing your boss is involved in."

"Fair enough." Janna replied.

"Can we ask about Star now?" Tom complained.

"Yeah, sure. Celena could you, uh, try to do that reading again you did last time?"

"You… want me to tell you the same fortune again?"

"Yeaaah, just… give us an update or something."

Celena shrugged. "All right. Let me see."

Celena spun the cards a second time. "Problem. True Love, modified by the… Blowhole. Hmm, this is a tough one. True love is a crossroads, an approaching fork, but as Tobe knows it can also be a more literal union…"

"I have love magic!"

"Sure you do Tobe." Janna replied.

"What is he talking about?" Tom blinked.

"So it could be that the problem here stems from some sort of trouble in a literal love affair. As for the blowhole, that means someone who is…" Celena squinted at the cards. "...down to earth? This is a weird one."

Shaking Tobe's head, Celena continued. "The past is Shooting Star, modified by the Tadpole, sign of the eccentric free spirit, yadda yadda, yeah this is Star, it's clearly Star, no question, we know she's involved in the past of this whole mess. Hrm. She's a lot more… recent than I would have expected though."

"She was involved recently?!?" Tom yelled. "Will we see her?!?"

"Uhhh…" Celena said nervously, flipping over the next card. "Let's see, the Present is… the Hungry One. A sign of provision, safety and plenty. No, based on what you've told me on how she's doing we're not getting anything about Star in the present. Modified by the Pixie, sign of togetherness. I think this might be about you guys."

"What?"

"Like, you've sort of found a port in the storm here, right? And allies and so on? I think it's saying you're in the best spot you can be right now for dealing with what's coming."

"The crazy pharmacist is our best bet? Really?" Tom asked. "Well that's just great."

"Well the alternate interpretation is that your enemy has obtained the things and allies they need to achieve whatever they want to accomplish."

Tom blanched. "All right fine, I'll take the pharmacist."

"I don't pick the cards. Well I mean, I do, actually, pick the cards, but um…"

"You can just go ahead and draw the last card now." Janna supplied.

"Oh, right right." Celena replied. "The Path might be the biggest update on the situation, since it deals with… uh oh."

Celena drew the Queen, modified by the Deadhorse. "Strength… and death. She has the Power she has sought. But it is not enough. There is another She seeks."

Janna blinked. "What is it?"

As the light began to leave Tobe's eyes, Celena whispered:

"The Kingdom and the Glory."
 
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