- Location
- Florida
Well. Caught up again and nothing of note has happened in months. See everyone in a year or two. Outright can't stand the slow progress anymore.
Brockton's Celestial Forge (Worm/Jumpchain)
- Thread starter LordRoustabout
- Start date
Foxy Boxes
[Verified Box]
- Location
- England
And yet, you might just get it: The Personal Reality has lots of purchases that only cost tens of CP.
I'm sad there isn't a "bwah?" emote so I can express just how confused I am at how someone can make such an incorrect statement. The first half and the second half are so disparate that one could call them mutually exclusive.
Last edited:
Not sure how the response would be in-universe to his earliest tech, since accepting a client (undersiders) which then makes your "target" that you're building towards the local Wards looks pretty bad…. But aside from that I think it's a pretty natural theory!!! Great idea.
Magor Spanghew
A figment of my own imagination.
- Pronouns
- Any
Okay. After seeing people's remarks about others moaning, I realised that the comment I'd written, in hindsight, comes across as antagonistic rather than neutral as I had intended, and for that I'd like to apologise. The RWBY bit in particular came across as somewhat insulting. I'll try to express my opinions in a more constructive way:
For balance, the things that this fic does well in particular. The canon characters tend to act reasonably and realistically for the circumstances (including an Aisha that isn't the token 'wow I'm quirky' character. The major villains feel a little over the top, but not enough for me to actively dislike them), the OCs and Joe have well constructed personalities and the decent quality of writing is consistent. I'd rank the fic as a 6/10, perhaps a 7.
On the other hand: as much as LordRoustabout's ability to come up with large amounts of text in a short time is respectable, the thing lots of people don't seem to understand is that any story can be divided into plot and filler, and it by nature aims to maximise satisfaction. Filler isn't necessarily a bad thing, on the contrary a story with just plot would be very dull. In fact, LordRoustabout technically writes very little filler considering the size, and that's where I think there's a problem. You see, much in the same way the best filler in a story is that which resembles plot (or successfully distracts the reader/ watcher/ listener from the fact it isn't progressing), a story becomes increasingly unsatisfying if the plot resembles filler. Bear with me: the Celestial Forge itself isn't well suited to media as it is anyway. LordRoustabout is actually rather impressive for doing what he has (on that note, I hold the opinion that a pretty much all other stories with the Celestial Forge that I know of are utter rubbish.), but a lot of the chapters by this stage resemble "Ah, another fine day in the workshop. Wait- gadzooks! With this new power, I can turn my Sword of Infinity -2 into a Sword of Infinity -1! Huzzah!". That's all well and good, but at the end of the day, the only proper achievement for Joe is that it's slightly less likely that a scene that might otherwise be inconveniently disrupted by an amazing new power won't be sent off on a tangent. I expect some people will disagree with me on all of this , so here's the thing: this arc has been 198,000 words so far, and it can be summarised as 'Joe and friends decide to go to Somer's Rock'. In perspective, that's almost 4 arcs worth of canon Worm. I'm sure practically everyone reading this will have read at least something decent that by itself has fewer words. The problems and solutions can be described as 'Joe Needs To Look Powerful -> Joe Has Insufficient Confidence -> Joe Gets Confidence From Therapist -> Joe Decides To Take Everyone -> Everyone Needs To Look Good -> Joe Makes Bodies/ Armor/ Weapons (including unexpected Tybalt) -> Everyone Goes To The Rock'. Before you get the wrong idea, I'm not trying to encourage Lord to railroad the plot to suit me- all fiction is subjective. I won't go as far to say that he should shorten his writing- after all, his chapters are naturally longer than most fanfic writers' chapters, and he's already chose to shorten the newer ones- but with 198,000 words, at the current rate there is a concerning possibility that the Somer's Rock chapter/s will either be disproportionately short, making the build up seem ridiculous, or long enough that there will inevitably be either the equivalent of bureaucracy or actual filler.
On a different topic, someone brought up Taylor Varga. I'll try keep this brief, but the two fics share only three qualities: the setting, the massive length and the amazingly overpowered protagonist. However, the only relevant thing out of those is the protagonist. On one side is Joe, who has a reasonable, human-feeling personality with its own flaws, and that's good. LordRoustabout never made a secret of the fact he's meant to be overpowered. On the other side is Sauriel, who fulfills almost the entire PPC criteria for qualities of a Mary Sue, especially in regards to diverting canon to an idiotically implausible degree through sheer amazingness (as well as getting more powers than her source material should allow for bad plot convinience). The plot/ filler matter isn't the same either: where Lord has lots of plot at a slow pace, MPpi has chapters of filler at a time, with short bursts of plot. It's not accurate to group them together.
For balance, the things that this fic does well in particular. The canon characters tend to act reasonably and realistically for the circumstances (including an Aisha that isn't the token 'wow I'm quirky' character. The major villains feel a little over the top, but not enough for me to actively dislike them), the OCs and Joe have well constructed personalities and the decent quality of writing is consistent. I'd rank the fic as a 6/10, perhaps a 7.
On the other hand: as much as LordRoustabout's ability to come up with large amounts of text in a short time is respectable, the thing lots of people don't seem to understand is that any story can be divided into plot and filler, and it by nature aims to maximise satisfaction. Filler isn't necessarily a bad thing, on the contrary a story with just plot would be very dull. In fact, LordRoustabout technically writes very little filler considering the size, and that's where I think there's a problem. You see, much in the same way the best filler in a story is that which resembles plot (or successfully distracts the reader/ watcher/ listener from the fact it isn't progressing), a story becomes increasingly unsatisfying if the plot resembles filler. Bear with me: the Celestial Forge itself isn't well suited to media as it is anyway. LordRoustabout is actually rather impressive for doing what he has (on that note, I hold the opinion that a pretty much all other stories with the Celestial Forge that I know of are utter rubbish.), but a lot of the chapters by this stage resemble "Ah, another fine day in the workshop. Wait- gadzooks! With this new power, I can turn my Sword of Infinity -2 into a Sword of Infinity -1! Huzzah!". That's all well and good, but at the end of the day, the only proper achievement for Joe is that it's slightly less likely that a scene that might otherwise be inconveniently disrupted by an amazing new power won't be sent off on a tangent. I expect some people will disagree with me on all of this , so here's the thing: this arc has been 198,000 words so far, and it can be summarised as 'Joe and friends decide to go to Somer's Rock'. In perspective, that's almost 4 arcs worth of canon Worm. I'm sure practically everyone reading this will have read at least something decent that by itself has fewer words. The problems and solutions can be described as 'Joe Needs To Look Powerful -> Joe Has Insufficient Confidence -> Joe Gets Confidence From Therapist -> Joe Decides To Take Everyone -> Everyone Needs To Look Good -> Joe Makes Bodies/ Armor/ Weapons (including unexpected Tybalt) -> Everyone Goes To The Rock'. Before you get the wrong idea, I'm not trying to encourage Lord to railroad the plot to suit me- all fiction is subjective. I won't go as far to say that he should shorten his writing- after all, his chapters are naturally longer than most fanfic writers' chapters, and he's already chose to shorten the newer ones- but with 198,000 words, at the current rate there is a concerning possibility that the Somer's Rock chapter/s will either be disproportionately short, making the build up seem ridiculous, or long enough that there will inevitably be either the equivalent of bureaucracy or actual filler.
On a different topic, someone brought up Taylor Varga. I'll try keep this brief, but the two fics share only three qualities: the setting, the massive length and the amazingly overpowered protagonist. However, the only relevant thing out of those is the protagonist. On one side is Joe, who has a reasonable, human-feeling personality with its own flaws, and that's good. LordRoustabout never made a secret of the fact he's meant to be overpowered. On the other side is Sauriel, who fulfills almost the entire PPC criteria for qualities of a Mary Sue, especially in regards to diverting canon to an idiotically implausible degree through sheer amazingness (as well as getting more powers than her source material should allow for bad plot convinience). The plot/ filler matter isn't the same either: where Lord has lots of plot at a slow pace, MPpi has chapters of filler at a time, with short bursts of plot. It's not accurate to group them together.
Foxy Boxes
[Verified Box]
- Location
- England
Thanks, I hate your work too
Barbaric Bob
The Barbaric One
- Location
- Soon to be plundering a village near you
I just wonder if being constantly aware of technology in/on him wouldn't just take away his focus from what he's doing in the now
Foxy Boxes
[Verified Box]
- Location
- England
How often do you get distracted by the sensation of your clothes on your skin, or the hairs on your head?
The mind has a remarkable capability for ignoring things.
Last edited:
- Location
- Right Where I Am
The size of your updates combined with the frequency has resulted in me staying in a constant state of anticipation with this even when you delay a week, and it never feels like it switches over into tediously waiting for something that's taking time.
Disagree. They do both. Maybe not directly (most of the time), but by acting as a deterrent. How many crimes do you think are prevented by the fear of the cops showing up? Plus, do you think people typically commit crimes in an area where cops are stationed?
Wouldn't it be funny if Survey's body happens to bear an odd resemblance to Tattletale? Granted, I'm pretty sure it doesn't, but if it did, I feel that'd be pretty funny. Tattletale accuses Apeiron of making a Thinker to replace her, and things spiral out of control from there.
This got me to look at why the words-to-plot ratio is actually so high.
The fic's rules and format do inherently slow down the pacing as well. Like a metronome, six to ten words of every two thousand describe missing or hitting a constellation. After a hit, another couple hundred words of "strategy trance" go to describing the power itself and its consequences - bigger powers get more words but occur less frequently, so the proportion of the fic spent on rules-and-format demands is about a constant 10%.
I'd consider a 10% hit to pacing major, but the language of the complaints this 10% is only a small part of the perceived problem. The aspect of the format that stands out as a major pacing issue is the verbiage around attached freebies. Each of those gets its own introductory segment and splits attention with its parent perk, so a perk with many freebies brings the fic's flow to a stop while often not doing justice to every perk involved.
The fic is an early draft, which means it has fat that a good editor could cut for the sake of pacing. But one couldn't cut a majority of the content without completely losing the work's character.
A lot of the content comes from the forest of Forge-spawned side plots, like the conundrum of what to do with the gifted souls or Aisha's transformation from neglected child to superhero. While the recurring complaint is that the the stations of canon, forming the "main plot" thread, proceed at a glacial pace, I suspect the complainers overlook the weft for the warp here.
- Location
- London
Bruh, Apeiron would make the best haunted house and pumpkin ever.
No kids would ever egg his door.
No kids would ever egg his door.
- Location
- A big rock
Bruh, the door would have a built in portal defense that launches the eggs right back at you. Shame it isn't actually Halloween in universe.
Gregory Crey
Magic is of wonder and terror. Life is so magical.
- Location
- United States
- Pronouns
- He/Him/His
You joke, but he really could. Simple Scientific Solutions would provide clarktech to deal with vandalism and keeping your house clean and in a good state of repair. Plus, this is Washu's sense of "household problems" and she regularly lives with people whose super powers nearly destroy the house and similarly her lab accidents (her lab is in a pocket universe in the house, which is why it works on the Workshop) nearly destroy the house at times and she has to save it as well.
So, enchanted, divine, etc. SSS should let Joe do that even better. Maybe even home security.
Screw the defenses, he blew Aisha's mind with that tea. Imagine how easy it would be for him to make the best candy ever. Apeiron brand chocolates mysteriously make their way to lots of orphanage's. That's one way to help his image!!
Or the greatest and the scariest mother of Master accusations of all time.
I have come up with the "best" way to deal with Zion and the Endbringers: board games and video games definitely fall under Simple Scientific Solution. So rig up a Games Of Divinity that's simply too entertaining to ever stop playing. It's not that it's mind control, it's just that it's more contentment, pleasure, and intellectual stimulation than doing anything else. Then pose seductively at Zion until he comes over to investigate.
Crake
I AM THE STORM THAT IS APPROACHING
- Location
- USA
"Incite me to conflict, like one of your French Hosts."
So what Perks from the Personal Reality Constellation are you all looking forward to? Here are some that I in particular want to see:
Hallowed Earth (Personal Reality) (400 WP)
Every inch of your Personal Reality is sanctified. By who? Well... you, I guess. All those within (besides you obviously) are subject to a constant minor blessing that persists for up to a day after leaving that makes them a little luckier and healthier. In D&D terms, a general +1 Morale bonus. Those who worship you as divine may show up here when they die or see visions of you in this, your place of power... though these visions may be merely metaphors for what lies within if they lack the mental or cultural framework to understand. With Linked Portals you may appear anywhere inside your Personal Reality without having to walk there and with Eye Spy you are aware of everything that happens in this Reality. With Central Control, you are constantly aware of the contents of the PR.
The Personal Reality becomes a possible Afterlife, he essentially becomes an actual minor God by default, it has interesting synergies with other Perks, and it raises so many questions and moral dilemmas that I can't wait to see Joe freak out about it.
POWER OVERWHELMING (Personal Reality) (400 WP)
Not enough power? Okay, this Who's Got the Powa Upgrade means that your Personal Reality is now hooked up to the full power of a Sol-Class Star encased in a Dyson Sphere. Congratulations, you're now a Kardashev II civilization. If this isn't enough power, you need an intervention.
Seriously, I know that other, more expensive Perks he's gotten so far have had a major impact on him, but I really want him to see him flip his shit at the Forge giving him an actual Dyson Sphere with an actual Sol-Class Star inside. With the Tashi Station upgrade, it'd also mean Joe would have unlimited Phonic Energy on demand to test out and train with his Symphogear.
Counseling Bay (Personal Reality) (200 WP)
And how does that make you feel? Helps you work through any issue. A couch, and solid light therapist are included, but not mandatory.
While I think he'd still make appointments with Dr. Campbell for social interaction if nothing else, this would still be a huge benefit since it'd mean he could give the whole Crew reliable Therapy on demand. Seriously, how does one give therapy to an AI that is formed by and controls a Divine Nanobot Swarm? I don't know, but this room can do it anyway.
Sectional Time (Personal Reality) (200 WP)
This Upgrade to Temporal Controls means you can now install fast or slow time chambers inside your Personal Reality. These can be anything from 1:100 to 100:1 and you are allowed to make use of them, but the time spent inside such an accelerated or decelerated chamber still counts only as the amount of time that passed in the host reality. Stasis still cannot be used while you're inside the Personal Reality for obvious reasons. You age at the rate you're personally experiencing time.
Discount Hyperbolic Time Chamber would be awesome! Send a Duplicate in there and watch 3 hours of work become 300.
Nursery (Personal Reality) (100 WP)
Planning on starting a family? Just enjoy collecting infants? Either way, this Housing Upgrade is for you. The nursery Comes with all the equipment needed to deal with a (theoretically transfinite) number of infants and toddlers. It even has uterine replicators just in case no one wants to get fat or have to deal with all the pushing and screaming. The Nursery Upgrade will either be a stand alone facility or will hook each house up with its own smaller nursery. If you have food supplies, they will be adapted to the optimal dietary needs of the children, and packaged into child-friendly packages. If you have robots, diaper-changing robots will be included. Otherwise, the furniture in the nursery is dependant on the quality of your housing and is guaranteed child-safe and friendly.
Joe's reaction would be priceless, and would probably make him question how he'd even handle starting a family in the future. Also, I wonder if those Uterine Replicators would allow Tybalt to have children? @LordRoustabout, would it?
Hallowed Earth (Personal Reality) (400 WP)
Every inch of your Personal Reality is sanctified. By who? Well... you, I guess. All those within (besides you obviously) are subject to a constant minor blessing that persists for up to a day after leaving that makes them a little luckier and healthier. In D&D terms, a general +1 Morale bonus. Those who worship you as divine may show up here when they die or see visions of you in this, your place of power... though these visions may be merely metaphors for what lies within if they lack the mental or cultural framework to understand. With Linked Portals you may appear anywhere inside your Personal Reality without having to walk there and with Eye Spy you are aware of everything that happens in this Reality. With Central Control, you are constantly aware of the contents of the PR.
The Personal Reality becomes a possible Afterlife, he essentially becomes an actual minor God by default, it has interesting synergies with other Perks, and it raises so many questions and moral dilemmas that I can't wait to see Joe freak out about it.
POWER OVERWHELMING (Personal Reality) (400 WP)
Not enough power? Okay, this Who's Got the Powa Upgrade means that your Personal Reality is now hooked up to the full power of a Sol-Class Star encased in a Dyson Sphere. Congratulations, you're now a Kardashev II civilization. If this isn't enough power, you need an intervention.
Seriously, I know that other, more expensive Perks he's gotten so far have had a major impact on him, but I really want him to see him flip his shit at the Forge giving him an actual Dyson Sphere with an actual Sol-Class Star inside. With the Tashi Station upgrade, it'd also mean Joe would have unlimited Phonic Energy on demand to test out and train with his Symphogear.
Counseling Bay (Personal Reality) (200 WP)
And how does that make you feel? Helps you work through any issue. A couch, and solid light therapist are included, but not mandatory.
While I think he'd still make appointments with Dr. Campbell for social interaction if nothing else, this would still be a huge benefit since it'd mean he could give the whole Crew reliable Therapy on demand. Seriously, how does one give therapy to an AI that is formed by and controls a Divine Nanobot Swarm? I don't know, but this room can do it anyway.
Sectional Time (Personal Reality) (200 WP)
This Upgrade to Temporal Controls means you can now install fast or slow time chambers inside your Personal Reality. These can be anything from 1:100 to 100:1 and you are allowed to make use of them, but the time spent inside such an accelerated or decelerated chamber still counts only as the amount of time that passed in the host reality. Stasis still cannot be used while you're inside the Personal Reality for obvious reasons. You age at the rate you're personally experiencing time.
Discount Hyperbolic Time Chamber would be awesome! Send a Duplicate in there and watch 3 hours of work become 300.
Nursery (Personal Reality) (100 WP)
Planning on starting a family? Just enjoy collecting infants? Either way, this Housing Upgrade is for you. The nursery Comes with all the equipment needed to deal with a (theoretically transfinite) number of infants and toddlers. It even has uterine replicators just in case no one wants to get fat or have to deal with all the pushing and screaming. The Nursery Upgrade will either be a stand alone facility or will hook each house up with its own smaller nursery. If you have food supplies, they will be adapted to the optimal dietary needs of the children, and packaged into child-friendly packages. If you have robots, diaper-changing robots will be included. Otherwise, the furniture in the nursery is dependant on the quality of your housing and is guaranteed child-safe and friendly.
Joe's reaction would be priceless, and would probably make him question how he'd even handle starting a family in the future. Also, I wonder if those Uterine Replicators would allow Tybalt to have children? @LordRoustabout, would it?
- Location
- The Buckeye State
I like the story, I can understand some pople wanting more action, but some times the story behind the story is entertaining. It fleshes out the characters.I do wonder if his ID will be figured out, In another fic Danny figured out Taylor was a cape,by very small "clues" mostly changes in habit. That could setup some interesting plots. While we as readers know a lot that is happening in the world, The characters do NOT, this is NOT a SI story. So I can see a slow awakening of the issues.
Foxy Boxes
[Verified Box]
- Location
- England
This? This is what you limit yourself to?
When there's this in there:
An Intervention (-800 WP):
Well, okay. you asked for it. We need to have a talk about how you're using this much energy. Congratulations. with this Upgrade to Power Overwhelming, your warehouse now produces as much raw energy as you need to run all your devices... yes, even if that's a billion UWS (Universe Watts Per Second... or as much energy as an entire Universe contains per second).
Seriously though, you need help.
Seriously though, you need help.
Personally though, I'm looking forward to this one, just for the reactions:
Wildlife (-100 WP):
This Treeline upgrade adds in small forest creatures like rabbits, squirrels,
wolves, and bears. Ferrets too, but they're not actually wild-animals... except the black-foot ferret,
which is. Oh, yeah. birds too, I guess. And bugs... but only mostly harmless ones. Bees yes, Wasps no.
Any moose-sized or smaller species that you add at least 10 males & 20 females of to the system will be
added in and balanced accordingly. Non-magical species only.
wolves, and bears. Ferrets too, but they're not actually wild-animals... except the black-foot ferret,
which is. Oh, yeah. birds too, I guess. And bugs... but only mostly harmless ones. Bees yes, Wasps no.
Any moose-sized or smaller species that you add at least 10 males & 20 females of to the system will be
added in and balanced accordingly. Non-magical species only.
Last edited:
The Shallow
Shallow, Yet Deep
- Location
- Your Universe
- Pronouns
- She/They
TFW this causes a fourth branch of the Fallen who worship Joe.
Actually I have to wonder if Joe could sense individuals effectively scrying into his workshop? Could he put up barriers or something? Could they overhear his conversations?
Gregory Crey
Magic is of wonder and terror. Life is so magical.
- Location
- United States
- Pronouns
- He/Him/His
SSS works on all forms of remote viewing, past, present or future:
So, Joe and his Workshop is fine. He can likely do something similar with Item Construction A+++ and other perks.
LordofTentacles
Surprisingly Sturdy
- Location
- Louisiana
Yeah alright I'm just gonna take a break from this for I don't know some months see you all next year or not depends on if I actually feel like reading anymore after the break.