Then the Avid Glove arrived. The item in question was sitting on Garment's worktable, balancing on its fingers like a giant spider. The thing would skitter back and forth, scanning the area with the eye near its wrist. Once again, this should have been enough to be my primary concern. A fundamentally unnatural glove that was intrinsically linked to me in a manner I didn't totally understand. It was infused with an unnatural vitality that I could feel through the Dragon's Pulse, something similar to the drops of essence contained in the amber that came from the letters of Rubery Men. Not the same, but of a similar disposition, a familiar lack of regard for natural laws.
You know thinking about it the animation mechanism of Avid Gloves, much less the faux-biology they have, would probably be quite interesting to reproduce. Not much of a reason to stick to only a single piece of living clothing once you have one and
especially if you can prevent them from achieving what little awareness they seem capable of.
What's particularly interesting is that he'd probably be able to use a few scraps of Welds faux-flesh metal for it and make some neo-living devices. Those boots of his would probably be a good place to start.
"Hera." I said, working through the implications. I had not thought about her relationship with Hephaestus. Honestly, I tried not to think about my relationship with Hephaestus. The implication of other universes being involved in my powers and the range of powers they supported took the demigod implication from 'probably a metaphor for obscure parahuman abilities' to 'very likely the literal child of a deity'. That came with implications and additional relationships.
You know, it probably said something about my home life that I could consider the dysfunctional chaos that was the relationship between the Olympian gods and basically shrug. I'm not going to say this was par for the course or anything, but it's not like my family life would be made considerably more unstable by adding mythological insanity to the pot.
Probably best to just leave it interpreted as some form of adoption.
And that reminded me of my commitment to call Alena, and every complicated emotion tied up interacting with her even without the complexities of this situation mixed in. Well, if there was ever a push I needed to dive into global chaos centered on my cape identity, avoiding family stuff would certainly do it. Right now I can honestly say I'd take a live, nationally broadcast interview with a hostile reporter over a conversation with my family.
I could afford to delay that call a while longer. Really, I hated the position I was putting Alena in. No, that was a bad way of framing it. My mother was putting Alena in this position and she was accepting it. It wouldn't stop her and the rest of my family for blaming me for every inconvenience, but I wasn't forcing this on her. The exact dynamics in play were a rat's nest that I didn't even want to touch, but with the global broadcast of my new 'title' I could more than justify putting it off a while longer.
Well at least he's getting slightly less delusional about that shit, for fuck's sake...
Probably the best response to that would be to make
her see a therapist. Sort of just leverage the pressure that she's being put under to make her immune to that source of pressure. It'd definitely be a ironic punishment for the source of that pressure~
An interesting aside of the whole debacle was the fact that it effectively highlighted how widely known I was, both where and to what degree. The power did nothing if people didn't know who I was. Even if they knew about me it wouldn't do anything until my cape identity actually came up somehow, either through discussion, seeing it somewhere, or just thinking about it in passing. With the reactions I could effectively see a heat map of how well known I was and where I had been at the forefront of discussion.
For me it was moderately interesting. For Survey it was a treasure trove of sociological data that she could never have acquired through traditional analysis. I suppose it was good to know someone found a silver lining in this situation.
Oh yeah that was probably like a sociological version of active scanning something except that it also avoided doing so through a medium that would change what was being scanned. It'd be like how UV light turns into visible light in response to certain pigments.
We emerged back into awareness of the Workshop. My own interface 'throne' was at the peak of the computer core with my duplicates' flanking it at a lower point down the array. As my senses adjusted to perceiving the world through a physical rather than electronic medium I was suddenly jolted into awareness of a very critical fact.
The Avid Glove was no longer on my hand.
I was understandably unsettled by the idea that a piece of equipment could just wander off on its own, but it seemed that's exactly what the Avid Glove had done. Survey happily provided me with footage of the glove following my uplink to the computer core.
The globe stayed dormant for the first few moments, then began dragging itself back and forth, as if trying to figure out what was going on. It's scampering pulled my arm into some positions that would probably have been extremely uncomfortable without my posing power granting expanded flexibility. At one point it managed to crawl up to my face and pry open one eyelid to check my eye. After that it seemed to decide that it was on its own, slipping off my hand and scampering down the side of the computer core and into the workshop.
Yeah should really have pulled it into a digital environment instead of just leaving it out there. Kind'a impolite not to really.
Previously this would have required preparation, robes, chanting, and a lengthy ritual process to even have a hope of success. Now it was more a matter of checking the alignment of forces and flipping the switch, so to speak. One of the duplicate alchemy machines was installed in the center of the space and tied into the ritual circle. The base material, a sample of bismuth, was included as the closest member of the nitrogen family. Transmutation reagents were arrayed around the ritual space, including a projected sample of Elerium that simplified the ritual to the point where it was nearly cheating.
The Alchemy Machine sprung to life, the ritual kicked into gear, and with a surge of energy crystals began to form, growing out from the bismuth like a sprouting sapling. Just like that, I had Elerium 115. An element capable of producing antimatter power, gravitational waves, and other forms of energy. I couldn't help but smile at the results. What had previously been a near impassible obstacle, securing imposible and exotic materials, was now basically busy work.
Should really get some Familiars or something that'd be able to do that for him. Those disembodied souls would probably be willing to do it for him and with a remote connection to a few systems they'd almost definitely be able to as well.
"Due to the mechanics of parahuman abilities it is believed that the use of a flying broom should be possible for any cape. Aisha has volunteered to test this theory at her next visit."
Oh yeah Taylor's definitely going to want one of those. Possibly one that's technically alive for the purpose of greater manipulation via magic.
Tetra reached out to the glove, scratching it with a paw. The glove's eye rolled up in appreciation, but something extraordinary happened. At the moment of contact Tetra's fibers flared with energy, but not energy drained from the glove. It was my energy. The glove was an extension of me, and could be a link to Tetra.
At my current level the drain was meaningless, but to Tetra it meant everything. Her eyes surged with energy as she leaned in, rubbing her hand against the leather/skin of the glove.
While we were trying to help Tetra build her tolerance for periods without a direct energy source that didn't take priority over making sure she was cared for. This also provided a way to ensure the glove wouldn't run off and cause trouble.
Or it would drag Tetra into whatever it was doing, at which point the trouble would be magnified. Still, Tetra liked the glove and had been making a stab at some level of independence. This seemed like a nice bridging method that could carry her over.
"Tetra, I've got a lot of work to do." I pulled the glove off my right hand and lifted it to her. "Do you think you could look after the Avid Glove for me?"
The look in her eyes was adorable. "Yes, I can do it!" She happily took the glove from me, hugging it to her chest. Her body flared with energy from the contact, but neither me nor the glove itself were bothered by the drain.
As I left the Magitech lab the full implications of that link hit me. The glove wasn't just a point where energy could be drained, it was also a point from which it could be projected. Any of my abilities, magic, pyrokinesis, even nanite control could work through the glove. My fingers, my eyes, my power. It was a vector for all of them.
Oh cool. More ability telepresence. Hopefully some Call Bead effects can be derived from that link.
I felt a connection form to the Toolkits constellation and the Workshop rumbled slightly at its arrival. There was only a slight tremor, the sign of the addition of a locker rather than an entire room. Similar to the Advanced Materials Upgrade Kit, it contained new type materials to work with. Specifically, it contained a set of plating and the equipment necessary to add it to a suit of armor. The entire power was a thin coating of metal that would barely cover the equipment of a single person and it came from a mote the same size as Master Builder or the life fiber spool that granted me Tetra.
It was worth it. The material was lathe metal. The exact alignment of cosmic and gradational forces necessary to produce a material like that were beyond even my expansive understanding, but the effects were another story. The atomic bonds that held the material together were reinforced on a level I could barely believe. In addition to a level of durability that made adamantium look like a joke and thermal resistance exceeding the highest grades of ceremite it had a structure that was completely involatile to forces that would seek to undermine it.
Basically, anything that targeted molecular bonds or arrangement was useless against lathe metal. It would laugh at the destabilizing effects of power fields, the destabilization of high frequency weapons, and even magic that attempted to alter the material's structure would fail. There was no easy way to circumvent it. The only way through it was with massive and overwhelming force.
This ridiculous durability was balanced by the minuscule quantity of the material and the insane difficulty when it came to actually working with it. But even so, that tiny film of lathe metal that came with the power was able to transform a archaic suit of plate male to a set of protective equipment that outperformed some of the best armor I could produce from my Armourer power.
It would have been worthwhile if all it provided was a single suit's worth of enhancement, but for me it was so much more. I could multiply any resource I had access to. I could work any material as if it was plain iron. I wasn't limited to a thin coating on one suit. I could make entire sets of armor out of solid lathe metal. I could make weapons out of lathe metal. I could go absolutely insane and build entire vehicles out of lathe metal.
Conventional durability was no longer a real concern for me, but this was different. First, it wasn't just conventional durability, it was protection against any class of annihilator effect based on disintegration, melting, or material alteration. Secondly, it wasn't just a matter of keeping ME safe. Lathe metal was just about the best defensive material possible. Strong, light, flexible, thermally non-conductive, and immune to effects that bypassed durability. The armor I could make out of this would keep people safe like nothing else in existence.
What I think is interesting about this, beyond the basic ones of making unbreakable apparel and him becoming unbreakable by extension, is that this stuff seems like it could exist outside of dimensions in a way that most conventional things thrown outside of the universe, by something like Labyrinths ability when breached by a Annihilator Effect, tend to do.
This implies even further abilities since Joe has access to pocket dimension creation technology. One could make a literal space-suit, where what's being kept inside of it is actually the space that is required for a person to exist, using this material and some technology.
'Got it, know the implications.' My duplicate transmitted. 'I'll handle the research and duplication. Matrix will want this in the gen 3 nanobots, and something tells me the Laboratorium will want to see this.' There was a slight pause before he continued. 'Yep, just checked. They definitely want to see this, and as much of it as we can spare.'
I believe that those would be Gen-4 nanobots? If we're using the term "Generations" to describe updates to the Tier system of nanobots then I believe that it should have started at Gen 2 and been updated once by the ADVENT nanotech and once again by the new material.
I shifted my attention back to the workshop, not wanting to intrude, and had my first chance to take in the scale of the Crucible of Eight Trigrams. It was big, as in 'fit multiple motoroids as once' big. It was a giant, octagon shaped iron pot standing on for stout legs. A heavy lid sealed in whatever you were trying to break down to base components, and was the kind of thing that would probably have required heavy equipment to manage without some kind of crane and pulley system like you get in auto shops.
The smelting aspect of the crucible was mostly meaningless to me. I had multiple powers that let me break down materials, and that was assuming I wasn't just going to use Alchemical Transmutation to cut out the middle man. No, the real value of the crucible was the ability to extract enchantments and magic. The implications of that were tremendous, but I needed to see them in action to know what we were dealing with.
"The duplicates have provided a range of test items for the initial smelting." Survey used her hologram to indicate to a table full of simple enchanted weapons, weak mystic codes, assorted talismans, and various potions. "Initial monitoring will evaluate the deconstruction time of each item and the effectiveness of any magic or enchantments extracted."
...You know what I just realized? This would probably be pretty perfect for figuring out Tinkertech. Little bits and bobs of altered physics or partially extradimensional material.
Probably possibly to do the same with material created and/or altered by Parahuman abilities. It'd be pretty interesting if you could load Grue up with some fireproofing effects, pop him in the pot, and have him extrude his darkness into the thing to be broken down for what makes it dark. Maybe see if it can break down some stuff frozen by Clockblocker? It was shown to be somewhat resistant to Annihilator Effects in a sort of double-knockout kind'a way.
Since it's neo-living tissue Welds metal would probably not work but there are definitely other exotic traits of things that could work.
"On that point, I wished to inquire why development of Element Zero based biotic abilities and exploration of Valkyrur-type modifications has been neglected, even in the form of tangential analysis." Survey asked.
There was emotion that had been put into her voice and I could feel the conflict being run through her systems. I slowed my pace until I was walking beside her hologram. "Survey, those abilities are difficult to manage. Biotics will require additional implants, and the emotional component for any form of Valkyrur ability makes exploring them difficult."
"But plans have not been pursued on either project." She said quickly. "Biotic implant designs remain at the conceptual stage without even projection-based prototypes. While Valkyrur focus weapons are not compatible with projection magic, reserves of high grade ragnite remain in abundance with no development on the project."
The hologram was speaking robotically and I could feel the level of sensor information Survey was pulling from the area as she watched my reaction. I let out a breath and turned to her hologram.
"Those were your projects, right? The integration of that technology, those principles, you worked with the duplicates to ensure they would be possible, that they could be implemented along with the rest of the transmutation?" No part of that night had been any single person's work, but Survey had advocated for specific approaches, some incredibly specialized, some drastic, but all of them devoted to keeping me alive.
You just had to look at the complete protomater body that had been assembled as a failsafe. Cybertonium and energon, fused at the nanoscopic level into living metal and shaped into a humanoid body that could function as well as any living flesh, even emulate biological functions to an incredibly precise degree. The protoform had been another push from Survey, another plan to ensure that the worst wouldn't happen.
"They were necessary. Possibilities needed to be accounted for, opportunities exploited. The odds of an attack fully disabling you in the field was beyond negligible, but probabilities occurred outside of expected bounds. Incomplete information resulted in improper planning. Only by ensuring that all abilities are properly leveraged can a repeat of the incident be avoided with acceptable confidence."
"You're worried if I don't use all my powers, if I'm not ready something will happen to me? Again?" I asked.
"It is an unacceptable risk." She said calmly. "You are restarting the EVO program. You must understand. Additional biological augmentation is available and must be exploited."
I shook my head. I did wonder if this was connected to Tetra embracing the ability of her life fibers to emulate technology, an old argument brought to the surface. More likely the last few days had affected my A.I.s more than I anticipated. I probably needed to spend more time helping Survey through her development. With how quickly she progressed it was easy to think of her as more stable and mature than she really was.
"Survey, modification to a living body takes time to both implement and adjust to." I explained. "There is only so much I can train, and so much good it will do. What's more, all this is new ground. I don't have any examples of what I'm working with, only the information I get from my power. I have confidence in that, but if something goes wrong, or just occurs differently, I won't know how to account for it. I might not even recognize it."
"You are delaying due to a lack of data points." She summarized. I nodded and confirmed my rationale with her core program through the network. "Will you be delaying the implementation of psionic biomodification as well?"
"Maybe?" I admitted. "It needs testing and confirmation first. We have to check the technology against other sources and decide how to progress." And then I would have to choose. And I really didn't have a reason to avoid that level of enhancement, not after what had been done already. I could admit where my aversion to self-modification came from, and why it was there. I could also admit it was no longer logical and helpful. I would delay as long as I could justify, but no further.
"Then I will assist in the analysis to provide a greater interval of confidence to help drive your eventual decision." She stated confidently.
I smiled. "I know I can count on you. Now, can you help manage my magic training?" I could practically feel Survey's enthusiasm spike through nothing but a basic sense of her code.
Y'all just know that the clones are going to be conspiring with Survey to start self-modification efforts without him.
There was one distraction that I couldn't quite get away from. My link to my glove was still active. It wasn't distracting or detrimental in any way, but I was aware of it through whatever insane effect connected us. As such I could follow Tetra's progress in her pursuit of magitech knowledge.
It was actually a natural avenue for her to pursue, particularly with the skills she'd developed through the Mecha games. Now that she had an internal reserve of magic she had a power source to draw upon other than her own reserves. Given the difficulty she had when it came to retaining energy this provided a natural power source that wouldn't impact her in an adverse fashion. Developing the ability to use magic would be a significant undertaking, but emulating machinery came naturally to life fibers. Tetra could just transform into any device she needed, link to her sources of magical energy, and be ready to go.
At least in theory. Magitech was complicated enough that I had barely scratched the surface of it. Outside of extremely basic applications it was a mostly untapped field, but that wasn't stopping Tetra. She was doing everything she could to absorb magitech information from both the laboratory and my assorted databases.
Given the fact that she was looking after the Avid Glove and drawing power from it I kind of expected her to carry it with her while working through computer systems or examining examples of technology. That just showed how badly I underestimated Tetra. Tetra wasn't running through the magitech lab or curled up at a console. She was spread through the entire facility, digging into every machine and terminal with reckless abandon.
When I say spread I mean that literally. Tetra had shifted back from her zoanthrope form into her cocoon and then unraveled through the entire magitech laboratory, covering the place in glowing red spiderwebs that worked their way into machinery or interfaced directly with computer systems. Through the crimson netting a green leather glove happily scurried along fibers that lit up under its fingers, bouncing between tangles of life fibers and research equipment like Tarzan through a jungle of glowing bloody vines.
I didn't want to criticize Tetra's efficiency or initiative, but it was exactly the kind of display that would raise significant concerns if the wrong person happened upon it.
Yeah it'd probably be a good idea to get Tetra to practice forming less ghoulish arrays of herself. Maybe something akin to macrame or filigree? Like it's pretty obvious that Joe's cool with it but one performs as one practices so it'd probably be a good idea.
Survey provided us with the cape's file before we could think of asking for it. His powers were thoroughly registered with the New York Protectorate, so there was no difficulty pulling up the information. Apparently he'd only been active for about six weeks. Assumed to have a background in private security, though with his age it likely that was somewhat exaggerated. He was a shaker/blaster, able to generate blasts of electricity, but maintain the arcs in a tangible form that he could interact with.
Essentially the lightning he threw around persisted, letting him lockdown significant areas with extremely dangerous lines of electricity while using the same effect for his own mobility, able to climb or swing from his own bolts. Hence the 'Jacob's Ladder' reference.
HA! Should have just called himself "Jacob" then~
Wait a second isn't that the original name of Jack Slash? Oh that's probably not good.
"Thank you, Kid Win. And if I'm not mistaken I believe you were the one who compiled the damage analysis of the Protectorate Headquarters. That was excellent work. You have quite the talent for breaking down complicated systems into manageable components."
Despite Uppercrust's compliment, Kid Win's smile turned slightly brittle. "Breaking down. That's me." He said quickly, then glanced to check on Garment.
The funny thing is that a Mad Scientist Tinker only able to make components for other Tinkers projects and/or make things out of other Tinkers projects would probably be pretty interesting but nah he's just doing that thing where depressed people are overeager to agree with people shitting on them even if people aren't.
"I'll be taking my twenty percent time here." One of the duplicates offered. "If Garment gets the upgrades now it should stop her from going completely maniacal on the next batch of duplicates."
"Thanks. So, Uppercrust?" I asked generally.
"We can handle him, even if Garment couldn't manage on her own. But that's not what you're asking about, is it?" The second duplicate said.
I shook my head. We had all seen the scans, along with Survey's analysis. We couldn't be sure without a genetic sequencing, but we were out of luck there. The fields were self-contained and even the card was near sterile. But you didn't need a genetic history to see what was right in front of you.
Uppercrust was sick. Very sick, something degenerative and by all appearances something that should be much worse than it currently was. He was in the best shape someone with a condition like that could hope for, and it was still dire.
"I don't think he's coming to Somer's Rock just to show off." I muttered.
"Wow, Tattletale got one wrong?" A duplicate snarked, then dropped the levity as the seriousness of the situation hit. "How do we play this? He's important, but this will be cracking open the floodgates, to say nothing of what it might do to the balance in the city."
"Try the country." The second duplicate added, calling up a fresh assessment. "Movements of Elite resources. They know he's on his way out. Some of them are preparing, committed. He bounces back and you might see a civil war in the second largest parahuman group in the country, after the Protectorate."
I sighed. "Right now we have bigger concerns. We know about it, and that's important. We can see how he plays things before we commit to everything."
They nodded. "At least the healing shouldn't be a problem. We've kind of lapped that for anything short of a Case 53."
Could make faking his death a part of the cost of fixing him up. You'd need to edit his genes anyway, and that actually makes me think about how he could probably have gone to Blasto for hybridization with something that'd keep him in good health, so changing what he looks like should be well within the ream of possibility.
I fuckin called the lathe metal lmao molecular bonds? Pisshhh faultline piss off lmao
Glad to see Wukong, that little shit is one of my favourite mythological characters. Looking forward to the complicated familial interactions and to the therapy!
Probably easy enough to make some non-atomic materials if that's a fear.
Depends on how much March uses of Sting's ability. Lathe Metal can only be broken by brute force, and I believe omniversal attacks count. I can't imagine the attack that goes through every dimension being light.
It may or may not be possible to simply make enough of it to stop Sting from getting through it all.
Damsel of Distress is a maybe, since while the disintegration and random matter transmutation aspects of her power are covered, the spatial warping might not be. As for March, hell no, he said it himself brute force on an absurd scale can do it and an omnidimensional f-u explosion more than counts. Joe said it himself back when he first found out about March, nothing in the entire Celestial Forge could stop Sting. Can he dodge it? Yes. Can he maybe pull a Scion and nullify it/tell the Shard to cease and desist? I don't know, maybe, but that sounds like a Post-Completed Forge thing to me. But can he get hit by it while taking no damage? Nope!
Well if Lathe metal can't stand up against those effects then the metal that Damsel makes with her power should be able to.
Also I bet that some spacial warping effects would be able to counter the effects of her own power.
Shouldn't the 48 hr Fiat repair effect activate this afternoon for joe
I don't think that it's been that long since the story started.
Small correction: Not ex nihilo but from money-to-matter conversion.
She just, thanks to duplicates and transmutation, have near-infinite gold.
Should probably make some clothing out of gold threads at some point for emergency fuel.
Like it or not, being straight is default state for humans. If you see a female ogling another one, and your first thought above anything else is "lesbian", you probably spend too much time on Tublr, Twitter and internet in general. As such, Joe is perfectly reasonable here.
As for the chapter, I liked it. Lord somehow writes in a way that the 15K chapter feels like a 5K, so it doesn't feel like it drags too much.
Being some degree of bi, though, is common enough to reasonably take into account as a possibility most of the time.
Firstly, thank you for the chapter. It amuses me that I am more apprehensive over this upcoming phone call than the meeting with literal supervillains a few chapters away, but I guess that just showcases your ability to create a connection between the readers and the character.
Secondly, I've come from the Discord to bring my worries over Natural Puppy. I must admit, I had not even heard of TWEWY before today, so I may be wildly off the mark.
What if Joe uses Natural Puppy to, in a hopefully hypothetical situation, boost his confidence levels in preparation to meet with his parents. He is wearing some Natural Puppy-supported clothing, which is affected by most, if not all of his fiat enhancement abilities.
He then cuts off ties with his family. He doesn't regret it, because of Natural Puppy.
Joe doesn't need to go to therapy anymore. He is more confident than he has ever been.
It seems like such a slippery slope. He is much more confident now, so why doesn't he try and fix the Undersiders' problems, the city's problems, the world's problems? He is gaining more and more power with the Spiral due to his confidence, why doesn't he just keep Natural Puppy on to boost his progress? Why doesn't he keep it on for every encounter with another person forever. He has to be better for them, for all of them, after all.
What I am trying to say is, could we get some clarification of how mentally warping Natural Puppy could be using divine-tier clothing, because it seems that unless I am wrong, which is likely, Joe could invalidate most of his struggles, both with his family and the weight of power, at the seductive cost of replacing himself with a more confident, more powerful person.
And I... don't want to see that. Joe's story is so compelling because an ordinary man is actively striving to be a person worthy of the gift, and life, he was given. If Joe basically brainwashes himself to deal with his life's problems, it would be incredibly dissatisfying.
I'm not sure where you're getting
any of that from… Beyond a cohesive design methodology, the only thing that Natural Puppy clothing provides in a tendency towards the outfits providing defensive bonuses and resistance to status ailments (e.g. Clockblocker's power, or Glory Girl's aura). Other than that, it's just a brand of clothing that Joe will feel comfortable in. No "confidence boost", beyond the outfit
not making him feel shy/awkward/embarrassed in the way that "Barbarian Chic" does. It has zero mental warping capabilities — in fact, mental warping could be classed as a status ailment, so the clothes would instead help to
prevent it.
A
big theme in TWEwY is about pushing people to self-reflection and personal growth, improving themselves and overcoming personal flaws. So, completely the opposite of your hypothetical situation.
Doesn't he have a lab coat that has some vague mood altering properties though? That might be able to help.
Oh, really. Nice to know some of us are not default humans. Yeah, this could def. start a huge out of context discussion, so I'll just ignore this steaming pile.
I don't think that I've met a default human in my entire life.
With Jozef knowing about Lily's attraction to Garment( it was brought to his attention by some asian girl that never appeared again, weird ), the fact that he still miss all social cues for "Romance In Progress" is just wild.
I mean with being THIS dense Joe should already have his own Event Horizon. Socially idiotic human shaped Black Hole... Fascinating.
I'm
pretty sure that that "Asian girl" was March in her civilian persona…
In a post about missing cues even~
Correction: Kid Win thinks he knows his specialty, and he thinks it is literally trash. As in, he thinks his specialty is tinkering with trash. How could he not, when recycling the wreckage of his skateboard he got something even better and he got a lot of work done just working on the pieces left behind by Armsmaster? I would quote the relevant WoG for this bit, but yeah, Kid Win's issue is that he's mistaken on his specialty and is beating himself up for it, and should Joe actually realize the issue he could easily point out the mistake for Kid Win.
You know I heard what he said but I didn't actually understand why he'd have believed that until you pointed that out.
That being said though Tinkering with/recycling destroyed things to get a improved result actually sounds like a pretty potent Tinker ability.
Alternativley, Joe gets Chosen of Death half-way through the call, altering his body on every level
Atlernativley RNGesus spams Joe with the Personal Reality Workshop, meaning that the area around Joe keeps rumbling
Really, any single rumbling would be disastrous... "WHAT WAS THAT?!"
"I've got a friend moving a couch for me, sorry about that."
"THAT WAS NOT A FUCKING COUCH."
"It slid off a carpet. Probably sounded weird through the phone."
"...You can't just keep using that excuse."
"What excuse? It was a couch. What else do you want?"
"I want you to tell-"
"No, moving on, what else do you want?"
I'm fairly certain he told the Undersiders it was an accident, so IDK that Alec would try to do that; better to not piss off Apeiron.
Actually being given cause to do some Blatant Lying would probably be good for his confidence when talking to his sister.
Well for one, Joe is Apeiron, the Enigmatic Artificer, and Alec's neurochemical production is active thanks to nanites, so he has feelings again. Also, there's the fact that he got burned by Bakuda. He's not much like Canon Alec, imo, and at the very least nowhere as irreverent. Then again, he's trying to stay consistent, so who knows with him...
God can you imagine how fucking triggered Joe would be by mental health medication actually being good for Alec?
