This one...got a lot bigger than planned. As usual. This was supposed to be 'a few small scenes between Kaworu's accident and Rei's explanation'. What it turned into is 4600 words of stuff and people going to bed. Enjoy!
Art!
Chapter 9.14
Everything I Do...
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"She then proceeded to give him one of the most thorough beatings I've ever seen from a woman, sir. She chased him around for a while with a tree limb, yelling something about... fish. We weren't close enough to hear everything. He managed to get her to stop hitting him after the second branch broke on his head. They exchanged some further words, and then left separately," Agent Nakamura, the Section 2 team leader tasked with the Fifth Child's surveillance, completed his report. He stood at attention, waiting for the Supreme Commander of NERV to digest his… odd report.
The Fifth Child had been odd enough, spending his time afterschool wandering the city seemingly at random, though MAGI analysis had revealed he was actually slowly covering the entire area over the Geofront, centered directly over the midpoint under downtown. Only the portions covered by Lake Ashi were not touched. He rarely interacted with anyone, but spent a lot of time watching crowds. Lately he seemed to have added couples to his particular attention. They had no idea why.
Then he had begun spending long periods of time in the First Child's Apartment, in the company of the Third. Closer surveillance had revealed only lots of practice with stringed instruments going on, and occasional conversation about inconsequential topics. Various surveillance devices had been left in place, but they always seemed to fail after only a short while in the Fifth Child's presence.
Today, the Fifth Child had resumed his not-as-random-as-they-appeared wanderings of the city, covering a portion of the perimeter up in the hills overlooking the city. He had simply found an overlook and spent the time staring down at Tokyo-3.
Then the First Child had appeared. They had spoken, he put his hands on her shoulders, she pulled them close by his shirt collar, for all appearances like a couple about to take advantage of privacy and a spectacular view to indulge in some stolen kisses.
...right up until the point she had screamed '
Die, stupid fish!' in his face and begun hitting him. Shouting and running had ensued. Agent Nakamura was somewhat concerned. He'd never even heard of such behavior from the famously quiet First Child before. It did not appear to disturb Commander Ikari, though it was hard to tell when he required Agent Nakamura to deliver his report from 20m back from the Commander's desk.
Commander Ikari's glasses glittered in the sunset light reflected down into the Geofront. "The First and Fifth Children then returned to their residences without further incident?" he said calmly.
"Yes, sir. The Fifth Child is very regular. It is unlikely that he will emerge from his room until he departs for school in the morning. Our teams have established his routine in detail. Though…" He hesitated.
"Proceed," Commander Ikari rumbled.
"Sir, he has at times given signs that he is perfectly aware not just of our surveillance, but is able to pinpoint our agents even at extreme distances. He made
eye contact with one of our snipers watching him from seven hundred meters. And smiled at him. I do not think we can effectively observe him without his awareness."
The Commander did not seem surprised. "Very well. Continue the surveillance, and increase the weapons teams. Even if he is aware of them, it does not matter. He knows we would be watching him. I will deal with the First Child. Dismissed."
"Yes, sir." The Section 2 Agent departed quietly.
Silence reigned for a minute before either of the two men behind the desk spoke.
"This is unusual behavior for Rei," Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki ventured.
"She can sense his origin. Her hostility is instinctive. We expected this," Gendo replied, still staring into the distance over his linked hands.
"Not direct physical confrontation, though. Is there a danger? Could it cause..." The older man trailed off.
"Neither they or the MAGI reported any appearance of AT-Field phenomena. If Rei truly meant to damage him, that would have been obvious. Her conditioning is holding," Gendo said calmly. "Doctor Akagi reported no abnormalities in her last deep scan and upload beyond the AT-Field spikes we also saw in the other Children, which she attributed to exposure to the Fourteenth Angel. Her medication moderates her emotions, yes, but the levels were established and balanced for her regular pattern of life. It is not surprising that they would be inadequate to deal with the impulses that come from being in close and frequent proximity to what we suspect the Fifth Child is."
He reached for the phone recessed into the surface of the desk. He pressed a single number for one of the few pre-sets.
It rang twice before a calm, soft voice answered. "Yes?"
"Rei, report to my office immediately after school tomorrow."
"Yes, sir."
Gendo hung up without any further words. He finally turned his chair to face the older man. "I will see about her intentions. Her hostility to the Fifth Child will be a useful aid when the time comes to remove SEELE's pet creature. We will also have Doctor Akagi re-balance her medication for better control of her emotions in the meantime. She can do the blood draw and necessary tests tomorrow when Rei reports. That matter is easy. We have more problems than how to keep Rei from killing the Fifth Child until it is the proper time. Report."
Fuyutsuki reached down to touch a spot on the desk. The embedded monitor came to life, displaying several pictures of innocuous marks on seemingly random trash cans, walls, and hallway panels in places around the Geofront and city above. "Our suspicions were correct. Someone has been leaving dead drop marks and other signs on places Kaji identified as SEELE watch points. Someone not him: The MAGI confirm he's been nowhere near most of these places since we barred him from access to Central Dogma."
Fuyutsuki straightened back up. "We have more SEELE moles about than just him."
"Why haven't the MAGI's own surveillance caught who has been placing the marks?"
"They're all made at times the camera's are conveniently obscured, watching in different directions, or in blind spots. More troubling is that the Geofront ones mean that they have at least one person inside NERV with access." Fuyutsuki sighed. "As we expected."
"The old men would hardly be so incompetent as to allow themselves only one spy here, and one we know about to boot. It does not matter. We are close to the end now, and our security measures and the MAGI will keep them unable to completely determine our plans until it is too late for them to stop us," Gendo said, not overly troubled. "However, we need to increase our security in key places. We are still vulnerable to one of their agents making inconvenient discoveries."
"Or targeting the Children," Fuyutsuki pointed out.
Gendo only grunted. "The Second and Fourth are irrelevant. The Second was always expendable, and the Fourth is useful only because her Eva has an S2 Organ. The Second and Third have already demonstrated it will respond to other Pilots. See to it being tested with the Dummy Plug system before we allow the Fifth to try. SEELE may have barred us officially from using that option, but I still want it ready in case we are forced to eliminate the Fifth and the Fourth is unreliable."
Fuyutsuki raised his eyebrows. "So no protective measures for the Children at this time? If SEELE has men in the Geofront, they almost certainly have them in the city. And the Children are natural targets, far easier to reach than the Evas themselves."
Gendo pressed the button again, shutting down the monitor. "They need the Angels defeated for their plan to work as much as we do. It is unlikely they will move against our capacity to fight until the last three are dead. Nevertheless, order Section 2 to move to threat condition Delta-2, and increase counter-surveillance measures on the school and Major Katsuragi's apartment. That should keep SEELE from sniffing too close for now."
"And the Fifth? Major Katsuragi was… vociferous when she inspected his current lodgings," Fuyutsuki prodded. "Do we move him?"
Gendo waved his right hand, dismissing the probe. "I will decide that once I speak to Rei. She will make an excellent guard dog for the Fifth, if she can restrain her instincts to eliminate him. We shall see."
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Rei put the phone down with a small frown. Despite the typically curt order, she could guess what Commander Ikari wanted to see her about. Her… aggressive treatment of the Fifth Child was atypical of her, and he likely wanted an explanation.
Rei rolled over and tried to settle herself to sleep. It was not easy. She still felt tense and wound up. She had been afraid to face her loves after fleeing like that, so had sent an apologetic text message and made a small dinner alone. Forsaking eating with her 'family' and enjoying Shinji's cooking was only adding to her turmoil.
That
stupid fish! He'd… he'd… "Grrrah!" Rei growled to herself. Her whole body was itchy! When he'd put his hand on her shoulders, their AT-Fields had rubbed against each other like there was live current in his hands. The sheer
alien nature of it made it feel like his hands were still here, touching her. And then he'd… 'Don't look down', he said. What did he think that would make her do?! And hadn't
that little 'touch' been even worse? She could
still feel it.
She rolled over again and forced her body to shut up, trying to focus on what he'd been saying before hormones had interrupted things. He could see bonds, perhaps not like she could, but enough to understand now why she'd been so angry when he'd hinted at interfering with Shinji and Asuka. He even seemed to be starting to grasp just how
beautiful they were together, how they encapsulated everything Rei had come to understand about love and the possibility that even the isolation of AT-Fields did not mean everyone was doomed to be alone.
And he had said that the burning need of the Call felt… like the gnawing hunger for that feeling of love, or knowing another was there for you. If not for the fact Nagisa's quest would end in the destruction of the world, Rei could almost sympathize with that. As it was, the best she could offer him right now was that she would do her best to make his end painless when the time came, if she had any control in it.
She was not looking forward to explaining this to Commander Ikari. She was even less happy at the idea she might have to explain this to Shinji and Asuka, too. They had no idea about how big a threat Nagisa was to humanity, so her anger would come off as bizarrely unjustified. And she feared their disapproval more than almost anything.
'It is something that… I can feel part of me hungering for, even as the rest of me cannot even grasp it,' he'd said. Could she… would getting him to understand that help him fight the Call? Even somehow turn him to helping protect her loves too? He said he did not want to be her enemy, and was starting to understand how important her loves were.
Could he be… an
ally? Tabris, child of Adam and agent of SEELE? Shinji would want her to try, and Asuka would back him up. "Stupid, stupid fish…"
Rei sighed, pushed away yet again the phantom sensation of his AT-Field against hers, and summoned up her favorite way to fall asleep nowadays: the memory of being wrapped up by both her loves, welcoming her home in joy. She did not dream, but this was almost as good.
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Late at night, trying to be quiet was a game all its own. This time Misato won by cheating: she sank her teeth into Kaji's shoulder when she was about to lose, and let his nicely firm muscle muffle her cry. He was in no shape to complain at that exact moment, being rather distracted himself. He did nurse the bitemark a bit, lying next to her afterwards. "Good thing it's below my collar-line this time," he said with a small wince that melted into a tired grin.
"I'll aim higher next time," Misato shot back with her own smile. "Pity I can't have you 'drop in' on my office anymore, and rub it in Ritsuko's face."
"Still not talking?" Kaji asked, nuzzling her hair.
"I had to play off the 'Ops versus Project E divide' to make sure she didn't insist on sitting in on Asuka's debrief this afternoon. And be a bit of a bitch, I'll admit. She had this… strange expression when I implied anything that had gone wrong was her fault. She folded right after that. And yeah, we're still… not talking." Misato rolled over to rest her head on his chest. "It's… hard to look her in the face, knowing what we know now. I'd never have thought my old roomie could have… been a part of the things we've uncovered."
Kaji nodded, his chin brushing against her hair. "And I get the feeling there's even more still to come. We still don't know what's down in a lot of Terminal Dogma. An Angel in the basement is bad enough, but what's in those labs we couldn't get into? And we're going to have a Hell of a time finding out, with the way MAGI security and checks have tightened up."
Misato reached up to poke him in the nose. "You stay
discreet, spy-boy. If I could catch you sneaking into there, so could Section 2. You are not allowed to get yourself caught and shot, you hear me?"
"Yes, ma'am," he said mock-meekly. "We may have more problems on that front. Someone's been leaving markers at watch-spots I'd use to signal SEELE. They've got more eyes here than just me. I'm still feeding them some tidbits, but I think they're not exactly relying on me to be their loyal tool."
"Great, just what we need: More things to make me paranoid," Misato complained. "Section 2 already knows about this, I take it?"
"If they're watching at all, and I know how paranoid Commander Ikari is," Kaji confirmed. "They might get into places we want to see too, so all we need to do is watch for opportunity and grab whatever they get, or piggyback their snooping."
"And keep them from sabotaging anything critical. Though I'd mind being stuck in an elevator with you a lot less this time." She left another hickey on his collarbone. She frowned once she pulled off, though. "Would they… try to hurt the kids?"
Kaji frowned at the ceiling. "...I don't know. I'd think not, but… these are high stakes they're playing for. They were willing to cripple the city's defenses right as an Angel attacks, though it's hard to tell if that's just bad timing. But if the Children are as specifically critical to each Eva due to their mothers… I don't know." He snorted. "I think I'll be higher on their shit list, if they figure out what I stole from under their noses."
Misato poked him again. "No. Dying. You owe me years. I'm not letting you go this time, Kaji."
"If you say 'the Children need you' next, I may run out the door," Kaji joked.
Misato narrowed her eyes and snaked her arms around him tight. "You're not going anywhere, buster. I may need you to play bridgemaker with Rits. See if she's interested in going out for drinks again. That'll give us an excuse to make up, and see what she's been up to. She's been disappearing a lot lately, some special project with the MAGI. She keeps taking Maya too. After the Dummy Plugs, I'm wary as Hell about any more computer-based surprises she might come up with."
Kaji nodded. "At least we can still ask her out and make peace. I think Asuka and Shinji want to feed her to one of the Evas for the things she did to Rei."
"I'd like to smack her a few times myself, but I know how to be a mature adult," Misato said, closing her eyes and letting Kaji's warmth lull her to sleep.
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"I swear, she's doing this to drive me crazy," Asuka growled softly, taking her hands off her ears. "She tells you and I we have to wait, and then she and Kaji keeps us awake half the night, going at it like a pair of cats in heat!"
Shinji swallowed and tried to think calming thoughts. It was not easy, not after three weeks and counting of celibacy, the soundtrack Misato and Kaji had been providing, and laying there next to his stunningly hot girlfriend. A girlfriend who was wearing the minimum Misato would let them get away with for the next week and a half. A girlfriend who was passionate, energetic, and could do this little trick with her-
Shinji stomped down on that line of thought. It was not helping. "M-maybe she doesn't realize just how thin the walls are? I mean, she never heard us, so she may not know… um… that we can hear her just fine." He wiped the sweat off his forehead.
"We are
so getting her back once we hit my birthday," Asuka muttered.
Shinji almost whimpered. Picturing that
also wasn't helping him stay cool!
Asuka rolled over to embrace him. "At least it's quiet and we can sleep, now." She kissed him on the cheek. "And I can't wait for your present, either. I know you're going to knock my socks off." She snuggled in happily against him, her eyes already closing.
"Yeah, sleep…" Shinji agreed weakly.
Asuka cracked an eye open to look at him. "I know, I'm just as wound up. But if we don't go to sleep
soon, I'm not going to be able to 'behave myself' either. So close your eyes and try, before we start getting ideas about seeing if we're still able to stay that quiet."
Shinji did whimper this time. "Your birthday can't come soon enough. Love you." He closed his eyes.
"Love you too, baka-Shinji." A soft kiss on his cheek, and sleep.
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MAGI ADMIN 01: Goodnight, Maya. Wish you were here. I feel so...uncovered.
MAGI SYSOP 01: ...Ritsuko-sempai, are you wearing anything?
MAGI ADMIN 01: If you were here, you could check~
MAGI SYSOP 01: Just for that, I'm going to leave you guessing as to whether I'm wearing any underwear tomorrow.
MAGI ADMIN 01: Trying to get me to check? :-3
MAGI SYSOP 01: ….maybe I won't stop you if you do.
MAGI ADMIN 01: You wicked bitch. <3
MAGI SYSOP 01: Goodnight, Ritsuko-sempai! :-*
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Kaworu stared at his hand, raised over his face as he lay awake. Sleep refused to come.
"I
am a stupid fish," he muttered.
Ayanami. Again, she had come to find him and almost immediately slapped him, hard. And proceeded to yell at him for things that were only somewhat his fault, but that he was available to scream at for. And then he'd managed to make her
angrier via his body's reaction to her. More screaming and smacking had ensued. It had been a violent and slightly pain-filled end to a relatively peaceful day.
And yet, it was the part of the day that wouldn't let him sleep. He'd told her about what he now noticed when he looked at the Second and Third Children. How he felt the painful emptiness of what he could see he was missing, and might not even be capable of. How it felt like the Call.
He'd said all this in a rush, put his hands on her shoulders, and looked her right in the eye. She'd
listened. She'd
understood! They had been communicating! Was his vague thought that he could maintain his ability to choose, to refuse to obey the Call for an arbitrarily long period of time possible? Could he and the Lilim truly not be enemies? It had felt so close…
...and then something
else had felt so close.
He sighed again. Ayanami's body was quite lovely, and his own Lilim side
very much appreciated that. Ayanami, alas, did not return that regard, not after his body had er… so directly made that appreciation known. It did not help that he could see both with his other sight and his more Lilim eyes that the Second and Third Child's love had a strong carnal component to it, and yet that somehow only fed and intensified their emotional and spiritual joy in each other. The traitorous, insurgent little voice in his lizard brain that kept suggesting exploring that vein with Ayanami was
not helping right now.
He looked down at his body. His line of thought had brought the 'issue' right back up. "Oh,
shut up," he muttered at it. "What am I going to do with you? You just make everything awkward. A solid
hour in the middle of class today! Just because I looked at her when she stretched!"
He frowned. He couldn't entirely blame his body. He had been almost delighted to see Ayanami when she appeared in the park. She had sought him out. To yell at him, true, but… it was someone that wanted his company. He knew that he was perhaps the only person Ayanami could openly discuss sensitive topics with, and that she could help him understand Lilim hearts, maybe. And… it made him glad. He was the sole member of his kind in the world. He knew his fate was solitude, no matter victory or defeat. But to speak with her, the only other in the world who knew what it meant to be a half-Angel, half-Lilim hybrid born to be a tool to end the world, a pawn in someone else's plan… that he was not alone in that was… oddly comforting. They might be instinctively antagonistic, but… it was nice to have something in common.
He could still feel the mark on his face where she'd slapped him. His AT-Field tingled as he touched it. "Truly stupid…" he muttered. His head flopped back.
"What am I?"
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"Rei."
She stood at her usual spot, thirty meters back from his desk, face a blank mask, perfectly still. She'd done this a thousand times. It had never been this difficult before. She'd never had to prepare to lie to him this much before. Good thing she had all night to practice.
"Sir."
"Explain yesterday."
No preamble, no 'we saw you beating the Fifth Child like a rented mule', nothing. Just the flat order to spill everything, and the unspoken implication he already knew everything that had occurred. As always.
"The Fifth Child is an Angel," Rei began.
It was a calculated gamble. Her own hybrid nature meant she should be able to tell that Nagisa was not purely human. And the old Rei would have automatically informed Commander Ikari of that. So she would too.
Commander Ikari just nodded stiffly.
"I am very wary of him. I do not like leaving him unobserved. I could feel him moving about the city once we left the Geofront after the reactivation test, and left Major Katsuragi's apartment to find him and ensure he was not doing anything suspicious. He made… remarks that he might threaten the city or the other Pilots. I rebuked him."
"While screaming about fish?"
Rei winced internally. So the watchers Commander Ikari had surely set on Nagisa had heard that part, had they? And her… unusually emotive reaction. She'd considered this might arise. Time for pack of lies #1. "Pilot Soryu has labeled him 'the new fish'. I have adopted her term. I… am agitated around him. Angry. I am instinctively hostile to him and his presence. I believe this is due to his nature as an Angel, and he senses it. I think he is learning to fear me."
"Did he confess to being one?"
Rei nodded once, stiffly. "Yes. He described himself as 'Tabris'. He is aware we know he has been sent by SEELE. I have informed him I am aware of his nature and origin, and will not allow him to succeed."
"Good. Do not harm him for now. SEELE will react if we move too soon. Remain watchful and be ready to eliminate him when ordered."
"Yes, sir."
Gendo shifted his head minutely. His glasses flashed at Rei. Backlit by the reflected sunlight from the surface, he was a black shape with only the flash of his lenses to highlight his form. He was like a perched demon, sitting in judgement. Or he would be to anyone normal. To Rei's sight, he was… as opposite the glorious blaze that her loves put off as she had ever seen. He was like a black hole, puckered and twisted up into himself until nearly any scrap of his light was hidden away. He was a dying ember next to their bonfire.
"You were unusually angry and active, Rei."
Rei forced herself to remain blank. She had expected this, prepared for this. She could not let it show. Pack of lies #2. "Sir. He is the antithesis of everything I am. His presence is… I react when we are in proximity. I have to be near him in social settings as a Pilot. I will control myself as required until you order me to finish him."
Gendo did not react. "We expected this, Rei. Your medication was predicated on normal conditions. You of course react to the presence of your enemies. We were prepared for this. You will go see Doctor Akagi after we are through. She will test your blood and adjust your medication to deal with the additional pressure of the Fifth Child. You will be able to remain calm even when he is near you for extended periods. We cannot have you attacking him before the time comes," he said, no emotion in his voice. Like he was talking to a robot.
Rei fought to suppress the shiver that his words tried to trigger.
'No. No more drugs. I will not let you take away my ability to love them again.' "Yes, sir."
"The Fifth Child arrived earlier than we expected, but we knew SEELE would send their spies. Watch him, but do not attack until ordered, Rei. Everything is proceeding according to the Scenario. The day of our victory is close."
'Not if I have anything to say about it. You will not harm my loves, nor destroy their world. I will not let you.' "Yes, sir. SEELE will be stopped. I will handle Tabris when needed."
He nodded once more. "Good. Go to Doctor Akagi. You will not have to endure your pain much longer, Rei."
Rei turned to leave. She could not leave fast enough, but forced her steps to stay robotically slow.
'I will endure anything for their love. You should know that, given the root of your desire, Commander. You should know better than anyone what love can drive.'
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