Note: The following page numbers are from Volume 02 of the Non-H version of Re-Take (consisting of Volumes 03, 00 and 04), and utilise the page numbers as per listed number or filename. The page numbers are therefore continued from the previous work.
Character Key:
Shinji (S) Asuka (A)
Rei (R) Kaworu (K) Eliza (E)
Hiro (H) Zero Two (Z)
Filled with Hatred (85)
A: "We were up to here last time?"
K: "Yes."
Flip (86)
S: "So she always knew."
R: "I imagine she of all people would have known this."
A: "Considering what happened to me, I'm not surprised."
E: "Do we know who this apparition is?"
Z: "I think they established it was Asuka, but after the end of the Laserdiscs."
H: "Not that we know how the Laserdiscs end."
K: "But separate to the Asuka that Shinji is in a relationship with."
E: "And yet, only Shinji can see her. Despite her interactions with the environment."
S: "Hang on, is this just covering her perspective?"
A: "Great, a recap."
Flip (87)
Z: "You were jealous?"
A: "As I would be. From her perspective, Shinji's going for the false Asuka."
S: "But in my head."
E: "Even though he just wanted to make things better for himself."
S: "Yeah, look how that ended up."
H: "Pretty much what we established earlier, then. The apparition of Asuka simply does not want Shinji to be happy."
A: "No shit, she wants him to be as miserable as she is."
R: "Considering just how mentally afflicted she would be from her... situation. It is almost understandable."
K: "And yet, Shinji did not experience this, at least to such an extent. He at least tried to change things for the better, not that it worked out."
Z: "Then again, what could this other Asuka do? She did come back, but with Shinji. Not as if she was the Asuka here."
R: "Rather unlike previous examples."
A: "Why did I come back and not get put in my other self like Shinji did? That happened in Wolk's work!"
S: "Maybe Kimigabuchi wanted to screw you over more."
Flip (88)
Rei grumbled.
A: "Jesus Christ."
Eliza simply gave a sad glance to Rei.
R: "I am fine. I... know it happened."
K: "...And that is where you decided to... stress him."
A: "...Just how much was my mind warped to think this was a good idea?"
Z: "I think it rather simple. You hate Shinji, for what happened. For what he did to you, and for how he apparently continued to slight you by going for this other Asuka."
S: "I mean... most of what happened is my fault. But I tried to fix things with my second chance."
E: "Except, to this Asuka, it wasn't her. Just her past self. One radically different to her current self."
H: "Which is why she... did this."
A: "...God damn it."
Me (89)
K: "And yet, it was you that helped Shinji as well."
R: "Your past self, at the very least."
A: "Well... I did like Shinji. Even after that botched kiss, I would've still liked him. Would've just thought he was thick."
Z: "Considering how you convinced him of your love. You'd think you took notes from me."
A: "At least we had a relationship before I took it that far. You pretty much did it immediately."
H: "Even though it was unintentional."
Z: "Not that I minded. Or you."
E: "How did you two meet?"
Z: "Well, our real first time was when we were children and he saved me from experimentation. The second first time was when this curious darling went to a lake I was swimming nude in."
E: "Ah, I see you missed a few steps in the relationship process."
Her wit was palpable, as Hiro meekly looked downward.
Z: "Oh don't be like that darling! We certainly didn't mind that!"
Flip (90)
S: "So despite whatever this other Asuka wanted, you would still love me."
A: "Of course I would, Shin-chan! Fuck whatever that other cow thinks of me."
H: "Even though it's you."
A: "Maybe so, but she's so far removed from me that she might as well not even have my name."
K: "Not like she could do much, other than terrorise Shinji."
E: "I would think that was still a powerful thing she could do. If we consider what Shinji can do."
Z: "I don't even know why she would push you to such extremes, Shinji. Cause if you die."
R: "Who is to say she also does not want to die? She was perfectly fine with dying alongside Shinji."
E: "I'd say this other Asuka was correct in one thing. She doesn't know."
A: "No shit I wouldn't know, for all I knew everything was as they usually were. Somewhat, at least."
Flip (91)
E: "...This is what she doesn't know."
A: "That... what? The only reason this did happen was cause of everything that happened to both of us fucked us over so hard, we couldn't connect anymore."
R: "Which is what he tried to change, this loop."
S: "Not like that worked. But if things did get to here, you would be sure as hell I would not just discard her like that. Not now. Not knowing what happened."
A: "It wasn't even your fault to being with. Unit-01 was fucking flooded with Bakelite, you couldn't pilot even if you wanted to."
K: "At least, until your mother decided you could."
A: "Which she only did after I bit the dust." Grumbling. "I don't hold that against her or anything, but God damn it she could've acted earlier."
H: "That Asuka wouldn't know that, would she? For all she knows, Shinji simply did not act. Perhaps she warped this inaction into the belief that Shinji hated her."
Z: "No perhaps about it, that's pretty much what happened."
E: "This Asuka's logic is flawed, then. At least from our perspective, with what we know."
R: "For all she knew, this is exactly what happened. And I doubt this Asuka will accept any sort of reason, in her current state."
Flip (92)
Z: "And yet she stopped?"
H: "I would think such a thing would cause more appearances."
A: "...Perhaps I thought the world in general would teach him a lesson."
S: "You were right about that."
R: "Of course, one could understand why her vision of the world would be warped to such an extent. Unlike us, who were able to experience the good this world had to offer, from her perspective this world is nothing but sorrow."
K: "Exactly what Shinji was convinced of, at the end of the Laserdiscs. And look how that ended for the world."
E: "And yet he still tries to make the world better."
S: "I realised what I was thinking was a mistake, at the end of the Laserdiscs. Shame it was already far too late for second thoughts."
A: "I mean, we ended up alright for ourselves at least once after that."
K: "This work makes those odds 50/50."
Flip (93)
A: "Of course, if I keep pushing him like this, we're just gonna end up back where we... ended."
R: "All because you firmly believe this world is one with no redemption."
Z: "Even our world, with all the stuff that had going on for it, we still found someone to live for. As did others."
H: "I don't think our world, even with everything it had, ever... warped us like this. Or even the Laserdiscs."
K: "Indeed, your world appeared to have an emphasis on how love can change things for the better."
S: "I mean, that's the same with our world, isn't it? Love conquers all?"
A: "It's pretty sappy, but it does work. Even in worlds as fucked as ours." A judging stare at the other work. "At least, usually it works."
E: "Your other seems to have adapted to this apparent truth of that world. Not necessarily ours."
A: "And she takes great pleasure in teaching Shinji that." She sounded disgusted with herself.
Interloper (94)
E: "...Your other was there throughout all of this."
S: "I don't even think I knew she was there."
A: "Of course I wouldn't. You kept it hidden rather well, at least to me."
H: "NERV didn't correctly identify her, as well."
R: "I imagine it would be almost impossible to identify it as being her specifically. In fact, I believe they did identify Shinji as at least seeing someone. Due to his slip of the tongue."
K: "And yet they put it down to Angel infection."
Z: "Your other would know full well what went on between you two, wouldn't she?"
A: "I'd be surprised if she didn't. Look at her disgust."
Flip (95)
Z: "She's implying it has happened before?"
K: "A cyclic world. A fascinating concept that does happen."
A: "I know from the sounds of it you sometimes go back to the start, Kaworu."
K: "In other worlds, where an infinite amount of things could happen. The other you of this work has been stuck in that universe for who knows how long."
E: "And all this time, she's been terrorising Shinji, who ends the world just to go back again?"
S: "I sense a self-fulfilling prophecy here."
H: "Who knows just how many times this has happened, before this work."
A: "She doesn't even know."
Z: "Jeez no wonder she's so damaged."
K: "And yet she doesn't realise that even if Shinji ends the world, he is not the only one left. She is often left."
R: "Unless what she is implying, is that she is not physical. And she is merely an soulbound passenger of his. It could explain her appearance at the end of the Laserdiscs."
A: "Certainly wasn't Wolk's explanation, otherwise we... well, couldn't do what we did."
E: "And yet, how did she become soulbound to him in the first place? It would've taken something extreme to bind them together."
K: "Instrumentality would do the job."
Flip (96)
R: "Such thoughts go far to explaining why this Asuka is so radically different to the other Asuka."
A: "Well, if she is looping, she would've had a long time to think about that kind of shit."
S: "Didn't we already discuss about some kind of looping, and how that would almost certainly happen with us after a time?"
K: "We have. There's only so much you can go through the same motions over and over again without going mad."
E: "That Asuka is no exception."
Z: "Wait, you've already thought about... what was it? Looping?"
R: "In one of our philosophical discussions we tend to get involved in."
K: "You could possibly classify me as a looper. All has happened before, all will happen again."
A: "You don't remember what happened in other universes though, at least well."
K: "As this Asuka. As I, she does not know just how many she had gone through, or how many is to come."
Child (97)
H: "If she didn't know before."
R: "Such a thing even appears to trouble someone as hardened as she is."
A: "I imagine she sees it as a violation of her. A part of Shinji inside her. She'd hate this."
S: "I wouldn't doubt it."
E: "To her, all her efforts to push you two further away have collapsed."
K: "And even after you passed and she was the only Asuka to remain, this love of her and your child continued to fight against the other."
Z: "Pretty much idealism vs cynicism, isn't it?"
R: "Yet so far, Shinji's idealism has won out."
A: "Judging from this, whenever I win out, the world ends and it's back to the start again!"
Flip (98)
E: "I think you aren't too far off what she wants out of Shinji."
K: "This other wants to control you, Shinji."
S: "I think that was kinda evident before."
R: "But now we know for sure."
A: "Is this just her way of... wanting him?"
R: "I would not be surprised."
Z: "Not exactly a healthy way of showing your... obsession. Believe me."
H: "And yet, she didn't watch her other... fight?"
A: "I know she would've found out."
Flip (99)
Z: "...You were right about that."
R: "It even affected her, of all people. She constantly derided the other Asuka, and yet she still felt this way when this happened."
A: "...I wouldn't be surprised if she still saw herself in... well, my shoes."
Flip (100)
K: "Did it change her opinion of him, however?"
S: "I think we know the answer to that." He derided.
E: "A rather loaded question, regardless. Her hatred is so deep seated within her, it has practically consumed her."
Harpy (101)
H: "...As this shows?"
E: "As this shows."
Z: "What... is that the Mass Production?"
A: "Yeah. Spoiler alert, that's how I died in the Laserdiscs."
Z: "I mean, we knew you must've died in the Laserdiscs."
R: "And yet, he could do nothing but watch as she died."
K: "Even in the Laserdiscs, you wanted to get out there. But the Bakelite ensured you couldn't even get in Unit-01."
S: "As we talked about."
R: "It is still a relevant subject matter, as this Asuka does not know. And she would not take any explanation from Shinji."
Flip (102)
E: "As we talked about."
Asuka audibly grumbled. "Is she even from the Laserdiscs? Cause surely she should've known that he tried."
H: "She's in him, so surely she could see that he wanted to."
R: "And yet, that was not good enough for her. She would most likely expect Shinji chip away at the Bakelite to get to Unit-01."
S: "By the time I even got a centimetre through that stuff, she would've been dead anyway."
Z: "So this is all due to her misunderstanding?"
K: "I'm sure the myriad of mental issues she would have wouldn't help."
Flip (103)
The gathered were all rather off put by the imagery.
A: "No wonder."
E: "It would have... felt like that to you."
Z: "I'd say this imagery was rather... questionable, actually."
R: "It certainly does appear to be... rather violating."
A: "It is them completely eviscerating me. I'd say that would be violating."
H: "You don't seem too... off put by this."
A: "Sure it's disgusting and makes me want to throw this out the window, but I can tell it's analogy. An example that she is using to Shinji to convince both him and herself that he did this."
S: "...I'm sure it would be quite effective."
Asuka ripped (104) the page out. "Kaworu?"
K: "Don't mind if I do."
Another pile of ash soon appeared on the table.
A: "Well, that made me feel a bit better, at least."
She glanced to the new page, and that relief was rather short lived. "I deliberately did that?"
H: "How could you do that anyway?"
R: "It is not untoward that a Nephilim could do this."
Z: "She isn't, though granted she's already in his mind, isn't she?"
K: "The way Shinji returned made him Nephilim. There's precedent she would be Nephilim as well."
E: "Such a thing would explain a few quirks to her. Of course, since she's already in Shinji, she could merely be tapping off his ability."
S: "So that was all just to get me back, just to suffer more."
A: "I imagine you would've preferred being catatonic."
S: "I mean... if I wasn't, at least I could do something to try change things."
Contemplation (105)
A: "A part of me wonders if this part was just an excuse for them to reuse some old art."
R: "It would fit tradition, at least."
Z: "Could be worse. They could be drawing even worse situations you could be in."
K: "Even a seemingly throwaway scene like this can tell us something. Even in this state, you seem... troubled."
E: "She is still Asuka, in the end. Makes sense Shinji's state would also affect her."
Flip (106)
H: "So you got what you wanted from Shinji, all just to terrorise him further."
S: "Figures they won't even let me rest."
Z: "Even here, she's still concerned about him?"
A: "I mean... I probably still like him in some way. As we talked about."
K: "Perhaps you are scared he was drifting further from you."
R: "We know she is scared of him drifting from her."
E: "And yet we have also concluded it was her that had caused his collapses in the first place."
H: "It's what she implied, at least."
A: "I mean, I know for a fact she would've seen the more... disturbing scenes."
Flip (107)
K: "...Not exactly the disturbing scene we thought it would be."
R: "And yet, I would expect it to be as disturbing for her."
A: "That's... me with our child, isn't it?"
S: "That wasn't just an image? That was what..."
E: "What you wanted."
H: "Most likely what you still want. Of course... in the current situation."
Z: "I imagine they'd want that even here, darling."
Flip (108)
A: "...I wouldn't mind that kind of scene. Though even here, that kind of thing is wishful thinking."
R: "That is exactly what this is. Shinji was very much hopeful about this situation."
S: "Obviously that was incorrect." Muttering. "Surely I should've known something would ruin things for me."
K: "You seemed to know that here."
A: "That's mainly cause we knew what NERV and everything else could do."
E: "From the looks of it, happiness was not what the former Commander wanted."
Z: "As you guys said, he wanted you pliable. Hence why... everything happened."
A: "At least you two also know from experience."
H: "Like you, at least, we were able to overcome whatever greater powers there were."
S: "Even if it resulted in your deaths."
Z: "At the very least, we helped made our world better for others. And hey, this world ain't so bad. At least nowadays."
A: "You're welcome."
Flip (109)
S: "Won't even allow me to dream."
E: "If she wants you to suffer, then that would make sense."
Asuka grumbled. "I hate seeing myself like this! How the hell have I be- Y'know what? Stupid question. With all the shit she apparently went through."
K: "It's almost understandable why she is like this."
R: "There is also the question that she might also want this. And this is just her way of denying this aspect of herself."
A: "She is me, after all... As much as I want to distance myself."
Z: "So it's unsurprising why she would also feel this way."
Path (110)
H: "It was to distance Shinji from the other Asuka."
A: "Yeah, that didn't work."
S: "Do I even believe it's you from after Third Impact? Surely I could've chalked this down to a mental issue."
R: "I think you do, otherwise you would not react the way you did."
E: "I'm sure she would inform you incessantly, as well."
K: "All just because she wants you. For herself."
Z: "Even to death."
A: "So I've moved from tsundere to yandere."
Flip (111)
R: "And this is where you decided to torment him further."
E: "To break him further."
S: "Quite an amazing achievement, breaking someone already broken."
H: "We've seen a lot of this already, haven't we? Do we need to see it again?"
Z: "What better way to hammer this trauma into you than going through it all over again!"
A: "Our skulls might as well be powder at this point."
Flip (112)
K: "Sounds like that's what this Asuka was going for."
E: "Does that imply what she said was falsehood?"
A: "Who even knows with this shit. 'Bout the only way this could get more fucked up was if God decided to come down from Heaven above and shit all over us!"
S: "Don't give them any ideas!"
Z: "Surely they wouldn't go that far."
R: "Who even knows at this point."
Flip (113)
H: "What do you even call this kind of... I would say relationship."
R: "It is a curious relation. Her every action implies hatred of him, but she clearly continues to love him regardless of this hate."
A: "So she can't decide."
E: "Will she eventually choose which one to go with?"
A: "I doubt it. I think she's too far gone, at this point."
Z: "Well. I doubt things will get worse for her, at least."
S: "This world tends to like forcing you to the bottom of the barrel."
Flip (114)
K: "This scene differs, at least."
R: "The post Instrumentality world."
Z: "Her world?"
Nodding. "She didn't take the end of the world that great."
H: "Would anyone?"
E: "It's not generally something you would take well."
S: "I mean, we managed alright at least once."
A: "Which might as well be the exception at this point."
Incursion (116)
R: "It appears we are returning to the present."
A: "About time."
S: "Not that the present is any good."
Flip (117)
S: "Speaking of."
H: "Did you not expect him to do that?"
K: "At this point, perhaps she was convinced he would rather die than do anything."
E: "Except, I'm sure he knows that Unit-01 is the best place to be to change something. Up to and including the world."
Z: "Though, if she is a part of you, Shinji. Perhaps she too pines for death, as well."
R: "I would not be surprised. If she had been through this once before, and will most likely go through this once again."
A: "...You just had to take one look at me, when Shinji said I should die with him."
Flip (118)
R: "Hence... this reaction."
S: "But, of course, I didn't care. Because I wanted to change things."
K: "As all people wish to do. It's a rarity man is actually given such a massive opportunity to change the world."
H: "And I assume Shinji took such an opportunity."
S: "Several times, so far."
A: "Probably several times to come, if this is anything to go by."
Z: "As long as you don't end this world, while we're here, then go for it."
H: "Probably shouldn't be encouraging that."
Z: "Oh it's just ending the world, darling. I'm sure one of us would've done that, if we could and things actually went that far."
E: "You guys couldn't end the world?"
Z: "Hell no! How do you even do that?"
A: "You guys should really finish the Laserdiscs."
Flip (119)
K: "This is what it boils down to. Fear of abandonment."
A: "I mean, there is precedent for that kind of thinking."
R: "At least, according to her."
Z: "She won't get abandoned, though. She's always with him."
S: "Even so, I can choose to ignore... her."
E: "As you are doing now."
Flip (120)
H: "You're acknowledging her now."
A: "He's even apologising. That's probably more than she ever expected from him!"
R: "And yet, we have already seen that this was not enough for her."
A: "Nothing is enough for her."
Flip (122)
Z: "As before."
E: "This already happened?"
A: "This is essentially a recap, Eliza. Just from my... well, other my perspective."
E: "Huh. So overall, I haven't missed too much."
R: "Lucky for you."
S: "Probably wouldn't call it luck."
Flip (123)
R: "This Asuka continuously sends mixed messages about what she wants. Does she desire life or death?"
A: "I'm pretty sure we've established the death seeking part."
S: "As long as it's at her hands."
K: "Perhaps she believes that facing the MP-Evangelion will merely result in another loop. No matter the outcome."
E: "If that is what she believes, no wonder she seems averse to such a thing."
Z: "Of course, judging by the... imagery, she has other reasons to be afraid of the MP-Eva."
H: "If it was that traumatising to her..." A grimace.
A: "Yeah, and you have that to look forward to in the Laserdiscs." Muttering. "I would've been violated the same way, if things went even further to shit."
Your Reality (124)
K: "And why would he acknowledge her?"
R: "For all he knows, this Asuka is the real one. Not the one in his mind."
E: "Even with the incessant reminders she often gives him, this is something that won't change."
S: "So it all comes down to me not accepting Asuka?"
A: "Still? I feel that's a common thread between whether the world ends or not."
R: "It is a common thread."
H: "The entire fate of the world depends on the relationship between two teens." Like he couldn't believe it.
Z: "Coming from you, darling! Not like our world was any better."
K: "At least in your world, the fate of the world depended on many relationships between two teens."
R: "I am sure our relationship also helped save the world from an unfortunate fate."
A: "Probably even more so, not like we have any special powers other than being able to pilot Evangelion."
Flip (125)
R: "It is pining for something she did not have."
A: "Something Shinji gave to the other Asuka."
Z: "No wonder she's vengeful."
A: "I probably would feel a bit ripped off by the universe if I saw that happening. Hell, you can't even blame Shinji, can you?"
S: "Other than how worse I made things, trying to make them better."
K: "I think she refers to you looping. But then again, this depends if you wilfully looped back to the past, or it was unintentional, as per Wolk."
E: "I doubt you could will such thing, even if you were Nephilim."
H: "Shinji is Nephilim in this."
R: "But was he Nephilim before he looped?"
Z: "Why are there so many unanswered questions with this!"
S: "Yeah, don't expect any answers."
Flip (126)
Rei had a sad look. "...As I stated."
K: "But... she has gone too far. Throughout how ever many iterations of the same few months she has gone through, she has forever changed. She cannot go back."
A: "...Even if she wants to. To just have a clean slate."
S: "Like... the other Asuka."
E: "Hence her reprehension of her other."
Z: "That's where her hatred comes from, I would assume. This... longing."
H: "She pines as Shinji does. Except... at least Shinji has an opportunity to accomplish that. She doesn't."
K: "...That goes far to explaining why she is as she is. And why she appears to despise Shinji."
A: "Shit... I would be pretty fucking upset about that."
Flip (128)
R: "But this is her reality now. Forever close but always distant to Shinji."
A: "Hell."
R: "An apt description."
A: "What the fuck do I do to deserve this kind of thing?!" Fist slammed on table, her fuming anger evident. "I just assumed she was just an apparition, but she is me?"
K: "An iteration of you. Having gone through countless cycles; constantly wearing you down, always holding hope out in front of you like a carrot on a stick. And then quashing it."
E: "No wonder you're like this."
A: "Even I would be like this after an indefinite number of these kinds of loops."
Z: "Jeez, and I thought Rei was fucked over."
R: "I was, but this... is quite extreme."
Fli-
"No. I've had enough."
Shinji glanced to his other, just as the page was flipped. "Asuka?"
"I'm on a knife's edge, Shinji. If I'm going to read more of this without throwing it through the TV, I will be needing a small... break."
He could see in her eyes just how pained she was.
So he offered small warmth in return, holding her hands with his. "You want to spend some time alone?"
"...Yeah."
"In our room?"
"...I'd like that."
Without a word to the others, they retired.
Leaving them in silence.
Rei and Kaworu could tell just how emotionally charged she was, even through the walls. "...Shall we make our leave?"
"I doubt we can add much to help them." Zero Two lamented.
"When... they are like this. It is usually for the best to give them some quiet time. If... they wanted us to help them, they would say."
"Indeed. They will be fine, by themselves."
The other two could understand. Sometimes it's for the best to leave things to their significant other. They knew that quite well, in fact.
So they got up and began to make their leave.
"...Eliza?"
Eliza had been quiet, eyes locked to the wall that separated the living room from Shinji and Asuka's Lovely Suite, as Misato had dubbed. "...Curious."
Rei's curiosity too piqued.
Taking station behind Eliza, hands resting on the computer's shoulders, she utilised her sight to glimpse beyond the veil. "What do you see, Eliza."
"...Data. I... am not sure how to interpret it, but... it's like I can... see them. Despite the barrier."
"Do you have an emotion processing daemon?"
"...In my code, it is dubbed the Emotion Engine. A core aspect of the Eliza program in general, it allows me to interpret and spool emotion. However, in... this body, it is not required. The... wetware is more than capable of outclassing this solution, so I have mostly relegated it to background tasks."
"Pipe the data you see into this emotion engine, and tell me the output."
"Give me a few seconds..." Eyes glanced elsewhere, as she crafted the program. "Run... ning."
"...Eliza?" Rei noticed a few stray tears on her sister, as her field shifted similarly to the two they were observing.
"I... forgot to sandbox it."
"You are feeling what they feel."
"Yes. She... has so much pain, Rei. It's like when I felt... you. I didn't know. But... I don't understand why I can see this."
"Hush, Eliza." But a murmur, as she drew her closer. "What you have is a gift. One that all Nephilim share."
"...A gift?"
"You have what we call the Sense."
~~~
) - the count (cardinality) of the natural numbers (which is also the count of the integers and the rational numbers - it's actually easy to prove, just kind of mind-warping when thought of too much). So you need only to use natural numbers to count them. Using real numbers is an overkill, as there are far more of them (another, and not necessarily next, aleph).
) - the count (cardinality) of the natural numbers (which is also the count of the integers and the rational numbers - it's actually easy to prove, just kind of mind-warping when thought of too much). So you need only to use natural numbers to count them. Using real numbers is an overkill, as there are far more of them (another, and not necessarily next, aleph).
