The Englanderish
Schrödinger's Kuudere Kitty Caliph(a)
- Location
- Califat de Chats
I think we might just be a little bit off topic now.~
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Advice and Trust [NGE]
I think we might just be a little bit off topic now.~
Lord Sovereign
The Emperor of shitty fanfic
- Location
- England
German humour is pretty dark as hell, dude. Even pitch blacker than many British "comedians". Also, we lived under the Kaiser, the Great Depression, Nazis, the threat of the Russians, a Marxist-Leninist dictatorship, the Stasi... Dark humour is a necessary evolutionary trait.
See, for example, Volker Pispers explaining American foreign policy at around Dubya's time.
"Knowing who the bad guy is gives your day structure."
"I like to quote Angela Merkel verbatim. I have yet to find a better way to insult this woman."
"We should have supported Angela Merkel's armed rebellion against Honecker. With a bit of luck, she might have even been collateral damage!"
"The Americans were angry, because now the shiny weapons were in Khomeini's hands. A religious fundamentalist. A Muslim. Muslims. People who take their religion seriously. Unimaginable for Catholics."
That is hilarious. When you Germans want to be funny, bloody hell you don't pull any punches. Shit, this is merciless.
Yes yes Englanderish, we hear you. Moving ever onwards, comedy in a post-impact world would be dark as all hell, wouldn't it?
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Having a hard time finding a solid foothold on the thread's topic, have you?
I keep saying that we Germans are incredibly hilarious, but that nobody outside the country speaks German.
Nobody believes me.
One of my favourite lines from that program: "After sixty sad years, we realised that nobody wants to play war with us Germans unless we start it."
Oh hey, in this universe Germany kinda got fucked up, right?
...God, German humour would be as dark as a black hole by that point.
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King Arthur
The Once and Future King
What's this from?
I think we might just be a little bit off topic now.~
- Location
- Anywhere I won't die, USA
Hey guys I got the latest LootAnime and it came with a Rei Micro Macro. I thought you guys would like to see it.
Here she is on a Knights of Sidonia stand.
Here she is on a Knights of Sidonia stand.
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The Englanderish
Schrödinger's Kuudere Kitty Caliph(a)
- Location
- Califat de Chats
Digimon Xros Wars Episode 67
BadRoad
a thousand miles
I'm pretty sure the US military has the best painkillers.
- Location
- Canada
Good ol' morphine and codeine. The Super Mario Bros of pain medications.
I wonder if anyone at Nerv ever saw "The Wall" back in the 80s. (The Wall is on and ten minutes in I love the cinematography.)
Edit: Christ this thing is both weird and dark.
Only Pink Floyd could get away with a cross between a Nazi Rally and a Klan Meet. I think Gainax was taking notes on how to do weird and highly symbolic sequences
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Link is broken, and picture isn't showing good poster.Hey guys I got the latest LootAnime and it came with a Rei Micro Macro. I thought you guys would like to see it.
Here she is on a Knights of Sidonia stand.
BadRoad
a thousand miles
I can see it fine. The problem might be on your end.
- Location
- Spain
Same here.
Addendum: I'd love to hang one of those dollies from my rear-view mirror.
samdamandias
Apprentice Plane Wizard
FTFY properly this time.
And yes yes, well wishes and such for Stryp's continued health
Ouch. You didn't have something get ignored did you? I once had one of my Airmen who'd stepped on glass come back to work after the nurse she saw told her to return to duty because the shard in her foot would work itself out on it's own.
I was not amused.
- Location
- National Capital Region, USA
That was an oblique reference to 'Huh... I have a slightly painful fungal infection in my foot, according to the clinic. Oh well, powering on'.
Two days later, posting a picture of my foot would violate the rule about gorn here. :/
They offered me morphine. I said
and declined. I am currently not taking anything for the rather manageable level of pain. There's no need for such in the Imperial Guard!Wait, I might be hallucinating I'm a Commissar again. 3 years of Moderating will do that.
Anyhow, I am now set up in a hospital bed at Baghdad Diplomatic Support Center, which is the US base attached to the Airport. I will apparently be here at least a couple days, which means time to write and transcribe. Let's see if I can transcribe a scene already finished that I'm sure you've all been waiting for: Rei's reaction to the tape. Oh, and one other thing first.
+++
"Ahhhhh~, this is even nicer than I expected," Asuka said with a pleased sigh as she wriggled under the new silk sheets. "The mattress is just right, too, and so much room to roll around! Excellent present, liebling."
Shinji smiled at her expression. "I'm glad you like it."
Asuka grabbed Rei's box off the headboard of the bed and rolled over to face Shinji. She placed the box between them on the bed. "Now... I've been wondering all evening what Rei gave us, and it's time to satisfy my curiosity. I've got some ideas..."
"Do you think she... well, she said it was personal. Do you think she gave us, um... a new version of that... box she gave Kaworu-kun? Shinji guessed.
Asuka tore the paper open and lifted the top off the box. "........yup," she said in a strangled voice. Her eyes widened and her face started to turn as red as her hair. "She did. Holy Gott, Shinji! Look at these!"
"I... I... Wow. Um... Rei is..." Shinji fumbled for words. "...Beautiful," he finally got out, sounding almost astonished.
"Yeah..." Asuka turned the pictures over slowly, examining each one in detail. "Wow... I... Shinji, have I told you lately that I love you?"
Shinji blinked, confused. "Um... yes?"
"Good. Ok, there are deeper emotional aspects I want to take about regarding these pictures, the fact Rei told us she loves us and gave us these, and that she also gave some to Kaworu to help fight that compulsion SEELE put in his head... but that's for tomorrow. Right now..." Asuka carefully put the pictures back in the box, closed it, and put it aside.
"...I want my lover," she said, and nearly leapt on him.
+++
Rei clicked 'STOP' on the SDAT and took out the headphones. She laid the tape player aside and stared at the ceiling. After a moment she lifted one hand in front of her face and noted it was shaking slightly.
Her phone chirped. She looked at the message. DID YOU LIKE IT?
She did not need to look down to sense the nervous anticipation. She typed a quick reply back.
WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?
+++
Four stories below, a young half-Lilim who at the moment was very much Kaworu Nagisa and not at all Tabris stopped where he'd been pacing in circles for over half an hour. He had tried to lay down on his futon and relax as instructed, but this had proved utterly impossible. Relax? Relax? With his first tentative efforts at both love and Lilim creativity on the line?
He looked at the message she's just sent. He steeled himself for a moment, then slowly looked up, through the four floors of concrete and metal that hardly impeded his Sight at all, and...
Shinji-kun and Asuka were like a bonfire of emotion and bonds. They shone like the sun, lighting up the whole building. Not far away, Major Katsuragi and Inspector Kaji were making their own glow, smaller and lesser in comparison. And just beyond that was Aya-... Rei.
She was glorious. Her Light shone like a star, rippling and shifting like a rainbow in a kaleidoscope. The same fractured splendors that always made her so beautiful to him were there, this time flaring with notes of deep emotion and enjoyment... and a recurring, rich ochre thread of... something he saw constantly between Shinji-kun and Asuka.
His heart soared. She liked it! And a thing he had made! He threw his fists in the air. "I did it! I did it!"
His phone beeped again. NOW GO TO BED, YOU STUPID FISH. I'LL MOST LIKELY KILL YOU IN THE MORNING.
He couldn't stop the grin that threatened to split his face. He typed back a reply, and flopped onto his futon, exhausted but happy.
+++
AS YOU WISH.
Rei put her phone down and closed her eyes. "Idiot."
+++
Goodnight, everyone.
- Location
- Up A Creek
(Edit: this is what I get for fat-fingering the Post button, then coming back hours later to discover my post is still in the edit window. I would have beaten Stryp to the punch, dammit...!)
I hear, evil laughter on the horizon...
I feel... trouble on the way.
Don't read A&T tonight
'cause it's bound to break your mind.
I fear, Evil Stryp on the risin'....
I think we did that one already... during the victory party/wake, doesn't someone suggest that Rei "jumped" into Lilith, and everyone (drunkenly) scrambles down into Terminal Dogma where Rei is all like "About TIME! Now will someone get me off this damn cross already!"
...dammit, Stryp, how many times have we told you not to stick your feet into strange... footwear! Or if you do, at the very least use Doctor Scholl's!
Unless... this is all part of someone's Evil Plan....
SCENE: An unoccupied barracks room Somewhere In Iraq. A closed laptop rests on the desk, apparently abandoned in place. The door opens, then closes.
Mirror Universe Stryp: Yessss.... Now, with my insipid Nice Guy parallel safely out of the way, and the climax of the story imminent... now, is my moment to strike! And my weapon... is right here. Aren't you, myyyyy preccciousss.....
A finger strokes the laptop.
MUS: Yes... his audience of sheep is primed to fall. He's run this WAFF train almost to the final station. All I have to do is... (mimes throwing a selector) switch the tracks. And instead of skirting the edge of the Despair Event Horizon before pulling away in a heroic WAFFy recovery that leads to a Good End, it'll plunge straight into the abyss! And the sheep will just keep riding the train, chanting "in Stryp we trust!", until it's too late to jump off! Oh, the heartbreak, the despair, the weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth (not to mention the agonized flame postings)! It! Will! Be! GLORIOUS! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!"
I hear, evil laughter on the horizon...
I feel... trouble on the way.
Don't read A&T tonight
'cause it's bound to break your mind.
I fear, Evil Stryp on the risin'....
I think we did that one already... during the victory party/wake, doesn't someone suggest that Rei "jumped" into Lilith, and everyone (drunkenly) scrambles down into Terminal Dogma where Rei is all like "About TIME! Now will someone get me off this damn cross already!"
...dammit, Stryp, how many times have we told you not to stick your feet into strange... footwear! Or if you do, at the very least use Doctor Scholl's!
Unless... this is all part of someone's Evil Plan....
SCENE: An unoccupied barracks room Somewhere In Iraq. A closed laptop rests on the desk, apparently abandoned in place. The door opens, then closes.
Mirror Universe Stryp: Yessss.... Now, with my insipid Nice Guy parallel safely out of the way, and the climax of the story imminent... now, is my moment to strike! And my weapon... is right here. Aren't you, myyyyy preccciousss.....
A finger strokes the laptop.
MUS: Yes... his audience of sheep is primed to fall. He's run this WAFF train almost to the final station. All I have to do is... (mimes throwing a selector) switch the tracks. And instead of skirting the edge of the Despair Event Horizon before pulling away in a heroic WAFFy recovery that leads to a Good End, it'll plunge straight into the abyss! And the sheep will just keep riding the train, chanting "in Stryp we trust!", until it's too late to jump off! Oh, the heartbreak, the despair, the weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth (not to mention the agonized flame postings)! It! Will! Be! GLORIOUS! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!"
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The Englanderish
Schrödinger's Kuudere Kitty Caliph(a)
- Location
- Califat de Chats
Kaworu is officially a pervert - regular spying on lewdness.
samdamandias
Apprentice Plane Wizard
The man can learn. Now the question is, have they all sat down and watched Princess Bride yet, or has the Trout figured the line out from first principles?
- Location
- National Capital Region, USA
He and Rei share a hobby.
- Location
- Anywhere I won't die, USA
I think I fixed it. At least I can see it
- Location
- Up A Creek
He and Rei share a hobby.
Kaworu: "Rei... are we voyeurs?"
Rei: "Given that we literally cannot stop our perception of other people's emotional states, short of zombifying narcotics or partial lobotomy, no, I do not think we fit the spirit of the definition, though we may fall within the letter thereof."
Kaworu: "Plus, in order to avoid observational intimacy with strangers, or those who might be offended, we focus our perception as narrowly as possible on people we know wouldn't mind. Or might even find it... exciting."
Rei: "Precisely."
Asuka: "...guys, we're right here."
Rei: "Do you want us to stop?"
Asuka:
Shinji: "...does it still count as voyeurism if the 'victims' are pathological exhibitionists?"
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- Location
- Voidbetweenstars
Pain killers should really only be taken for when someone is operating on you.
Works for me now, thank you. You're right, it is cool.
"Good, then you won't mind wearing this next time we do it."
"A blue wig? Asuka..."
"Hey, at least I didn't get a schoolgirl outfit to go with it."