Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
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- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
My plans are the best.
- Location
- Washington, USA
If we can show up in Moon, and make it clear to their leadership that resistance is futile before actually attacking, might be able to get their kage to order the rest to surrender, zero casualties. Sell it to Oro by pointing out that we need every bit of chakra we can get, anything expended by either side in such a battle is ammo that won't be available to throw at Akatsuki, whereas talk is cheap and at least sometimes works.
Summoners can make credible promises to Moon leadership along the lines of "we'll do what we reasonably can to keep Moon from being destroyed or permanently weakened within the next year, and any of you who cooperate won't be harmed." Barriers to keep them from evading capture could double as fortifications to keep Akatsuki (or some random opportunist) from sacking the place while Moon's entire ninja population are off on a mandatory mission.
Our world in the 19th century also didn't have textbooks written by biosealers, though. Tends to be easier to check a complete, existing theory for incongruities than build new knowledge from scratch.
I am aware of the discord conversation, I have thought about this issue in more depth than "but when was this figured out IRL", it does not change my mind on the matter, and I don't plan on discussing this further because I do not expect to be productive.
- Location
- U.S.
Counterpoint, which Oro will probably raise: this loses the element of surprise and gives Moon time to prepare.
- Location
- Washington, USA
Trap them in a force dome first, then parley. We're not going to be able to flawlessly grab and subdue fifty-plus ninja all in the surprise round anyway. Whole point of the force dome and iron earth is some will probably manage to flee that initial engagement, and then we'd need to hunt them down on their own home turf, through fortifications they've already had orders of magnitude longer to prepare.
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- Location
- U.S.
Also won't Naruto want to kill them all later for OPSEC reasons?
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- Location
- Yes.
More importantly, even if Naruto decides otherwise the Moon ninja have no reason to believe otherwise. Why not go down fighting, at that point; or suicide to spite your killers?
- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Kei why would we bother talking to Naruto about this? We can go full treason dragon to win
- Location
- Washington, USA
If they know how summons work, oaths with appropriate witnesses would be a good reason to believe otherwise.
Are we properly taking the Condor Boss's capabilities into account? Lot of this is constrained by travel time. If we're going to pressgang a couple hundred ninja, spacetime jutsu might let us avoid Akatsuki spies - and longer-term geopolitical consequences - by instead targeting some non-AMITY hidden village on the eastern continent who we're already at war with by default.
- Location
- Yes.
...Summoners aren't exactly common; I doubt they know this unless they happen to have a Summoner. Which I doubt.
- Location
- Washington, USA
Then we can explain the basics and let Moon's best social-spec roll to check whether we're lying. There's a straightforward way to explain the politics which doesn't depend on revealing anything about the rift:
Currently Akatsuki are de facto ruling the world, but they killed some people we care about in the process, so we're getting our own essies together to go kill them, take their stuff, and commence ruling the world ourselves. We don't want to mess up the rest of the AMITY system too much in the process, though, so if all goes as planned this deal will be retroactively legitimized as Leaf hiring Moon for some noncombat support services, with extra cash for discretion. Here's a heap of gold and some non-portable defensive miracles - play along, there'll be more where it came from, and if anyone asks we'll take all the blame.
Yes, you're effectively getting mugged by us, like we got mugged by Akatsuki after one of them killed our kage... but we're being way nicer about it. That's how you can tell you want us doing the AMITY-enforcer stuff, rather than them.
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- Location
- Yes.
MOON'S BEST SOCIAL-SPEC, internally: I don't think they're lying.
MOON'S BEST SOCIAL-SPEC, internally: But is it more likely that they're telling the truth about everything, and are going against centuries of established standards of ninja being absolute fuckwads to anyone not in your group; or that they're simply better at lying than I am at sussing out the truth?
MOON'S BEST SOCIAL-SPEC, externally: They're lying.
- Location
- Texas
Time to pull out the candle and invoke that one entity.
- Location
- Washington, USA
"You're so much weaker than us as to not pose a significant direct threat, so we're going to pick you up and use you as a weapon to crush an actual rival" doesn't seem like such a baffling violation of historical fuckwad methodologies. The only confusing part is that we'd let them live afterward, which can be adequately explained by having some plan in which they'll continue to be useful - such as wanting AMITY to continue to exist, just with Leaf taking the top spot.
They didn't fight to the last to resist Akatsuki, because they saw a scenario where they could cooperate and survive, and went for it. We just need to lay out another such cooperate-and-survive scenario for them, with tolerable costs.
- Location
- Texas
[X] Lore Update
[X] Beta Timeline
[X] Beta Timeline
- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
[X] Lore Update
- Location
- The Soviet Republic of Canuckistan
- Pronouns
- He/Him
[] Lore Update
[] Beta Timeline
[] Beta Timeline
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redzonejoe
Vaguely Pastafarian
- Location
- Canada
[X] Main story Update
Sorry I'm too Alpha for the beta timeline lore update. Lets get this bread, chat. Pogchamp.
Edit: 😎
- We have our plans and our parts to play. Meet up with Tsunade, begin the invasion of Moon, let the beginning of the end uh... begin.
Sorry I'm too Alpha for the beta timeline lore update. Lets get this bread, chat. Pogchamp.
Edit: 😎
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Aodyssey
The glass will not protecc you
- Location
- Chaldea
[X] Main story Update
Yaaaay
Thanks for the update, @Paperclipped ! It was nice and filling.
Losing social credits and horrifying our loved ones suck, and Oro continue to kill babies, but *other than those things* it's great!
Yaaaay
Thanks for the update, @Paperclipped ! It was nice and filling.
Losing social credits and horrifying our loved ones suck, and Oro continue to kill babies, but *other than those things* it's great!
I don't know how valuable debating methodology to wipe out moon is. The update felt pretty clear to me that if we take the Chakra from an entire village, we will be mostly wiping that village out due to one thing or another. I would say if we decide to do this, and since weve told orochimaru the idea i don't know that we can decide not to at this point, we let the experts on stealing people to use as resources and intimidating people into doing what they want figure out the methodology.
... Man orochimaru's praise on this idea really fills me with shame. Kudos to QMs
... Man orochimaru's praise on this idea really fills me with shame. Kudos to QMs
- Location
- Can’t say. I know my momentum.
[X] Lore Update
[X] Beta Timeline
I feel more comfortable with taking our time for this one, so unless we get an extension I'm voting for sidestory/lore.
[X] Beta Timeline
I feel more comfortable with taking our time for this one, so unless we get an extension I'm voting for sidestory/lore.
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Heh, we lost this Deceit roll.
Sorry if I missed something, but shouldn't the Moderate penalty be -5? That's what Hazou's sheet says the wound penalty to PS is. I only raise this issue because we spent that FP on the half AB bonus. Which was calculated off an AB of -5, so I'm not sure what's going on here.
This would only apply to timeladdered down rune infusions? Since those are the only infusions longer than 1 hr.
- Location
- how about no
[X] Lore Update