Well ho
ly shit, here we are then.
Update was the goodness, we came out of the Homu-conversation well, I reckon.
We, uh, may want to give Homura a heads-up that Sayaka has brought this to question a bit sooner than anticipated, just as a warning for if Homura sees her being a little thoughtful in class, giving Homura considering expressions, and all. Just to make it clear to Homura
that we are not, in fact, going to do a dumb and drop the secret on the Saya-clone while Sayaka-prime is still expected to be socially interacting with Madoka and co. and could possibly have a panic over it and draw attention to things.
We do at least have tacit permission to give Sayaka The (Infohazard-option) Talk, with our best judgement, so at least it's not so much this situation pushing Homura to make a decision, as it is us having headed off the situation and talked it over before it was quite so immediate. (I'd imagine if Sayaka had asked us this if we'd pulled Homura aside to talk for some other reason a minute ago, and hadn't yet had a chance to discuss potentially Witchbombing Sayaka, that both we, and soon Homura, would be panicking a lot more than we actually are/will be. Yay, preparedness and proactiveness?)
Also,
[x] Onmur
@Onmur I like your proposed vote. Maybe add in a line specifically about telling her that she has until we get back to school and can enter privacy sphere with her main body to think good and hard about the choice we're giving her?
"She's loud. Annoying. She's weak, and she gets it wrong. It goes bad. It always goes bad with her. But she's not- she's not weak. Not this time."
... aside from the discussion we could, but won't, go into about Homura flailing around and maybe projecting a tad bit...
An interesting thought here is that
I think Homura's assessment of Sayaka as usually being weak has a lot to do with the fact that Sayaka generally breaks, in the places that Homura hasn't.
Homura has survived
hell, hella fuckshit all everything. But Homura also doesn't think particularly highly of herself, of her innate value or properties or abilities. So, beyond the ways that Sayaka
frustrates her, beyond the ways that Sayaka tends to muck up Homura's plans, I think there's a part of Homura that's going "
I am weak and pathetic and I do all that I do in Madoka's name because obviously??? what else would I do??? even
I can do this much??? and
you, despite being
insufferable and
impossible to work around, are genuinely a
good person, a better
person than I am, I
know this, so
how do you always
break like this???? Why? If even a
good-for-nothing like me has managed to hold it together- and you're not like Mami, you're not cripplingly and chronically lonely and psychologically dependent on a damn Incubator-" and this all ties both into how Homura honestly cannot see how exceptional she is, and also, just... she has had years and years to see the same weaknesses, the same follies, again and again in her friends. A single failure, a single moment of weakness, may not be
a weakness, persistent, when we see it once, but to see it repeated, over and over, a pattern formed...
So Homura's gone through hells of shit, and part of her is aware that it is, indeed, hells of shit, but at the same time she can't accept that she's done anything particularly notable, that she
is anything particularly notable, by and for surviving it. And with how fragile Homura's plans must be, whole timelines must start seeming like houses of cards to her. And I think each time Sayaka, or any of the others, falls to something that
Homura has survived, a hundred times survived... is it any wonder that she starts to see those failures as weakness, as fragility, even as Homura's self esteem keeps the place for lowest record marked?
I dunno. Just, something that the quote in question brought to my mind, is all.
"Uh... you got it from Ueda Miyako in Ishinomaki, right?" you say. "I have no idea, honestly. You could ask next time we swing by, I guess?"
... or maybe we could not suggest asking a meguca about the Wish they sold their soul for. Even if they don't know they sold their soul, pretty sure a meguca's Wish is generally kinda private, and asking about it is something of a faux pas? Unless you're a bit closer, or they've indicated through other context that it's no big deal, anyway, and even then...