I had to admit, I enjoyed reading about Battlepick Imagination more than I enjoyed actually playing it. Running the Wiki meant that I got to do that while some rich idiot forked out the cash to buy the bewildering combination of favor currencies and DLC needed to advance in the interesting quest lines.
Not that I hated the gameplay! I wouldn't have recommended it to Matty in that case. It's a lot of fun, at least until you hit the paywall. I expected that would take her a few days, and until then she'd be distracted enough I could pie in peace. I doubted she'd just keep making new characters like me, that wasn't really her style.
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She showed me her starting build, and it was horribly minmaxed, bless her heart. I couldn't find it in me to disapprove. She'd learn the early-game was brutal enough without demonic possession and puppet strings on her own.
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The first time I checked back, she'd managed to scrape through the first few rounds. Apparently, if you drop a starting level character into a mid-level quest line, there's just random chances of getting eaten that literally pop out of the walls.
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The next time, it was after the big Drakenfels event. The "shoot it to pieces" resolution part wasn't unknown, but I've never heard of anyone getting the rare Asarnil event for that war quest at the same time. As a scholar, it is of great interest. However, as a loyal friend and lover, it's much more important to laugh in her face for flubbing the employment roll right after.
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Later interrogation revealed that apparently you can get rid of the demonic possession and gain a unique item at the same time. I must update the wiki. Take that GuidingStars!
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I have to admit I'm a bit annoyed that she's outleveled me already. If I didn't see the book piles growing at their usual rate, I'd be worried how much money she's spending. But no, apparently she was just all the saints in her previous life, and got double jackpot on the item gacha.
I'll have to update the wiki that the special K8P-reconquest Kragg gacha actually dispenses more than just various forms of insult. It's going to drive the completionists completely mad. Ahh, I can already see the endless bitching. But really, it's their own fault for paying to be insulted.
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There's a second one! Ahahahahahahahahhaahahahahaaahh. The moderation team is going to hate me for this.
And if you win this one, he insults someone else!
*snerck* Superior skill indeed.
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Seeing a minmaxed character past the initial hardship backed by end-game gear tear through whole strongholds on her own is glorious.
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Huh, so S-Ranking that mission gets you a Heroic Deed. I can't help but feel this was intended for a team and not one ridiculous stealth tank.
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Man, the final stretch of K8P is brutal. That ork attack is just plain nasty, and that's after you have to fight through several clans of Skaven and orks. Though I'm honestly surprised the whole thing gets a resolution at all, I mean that was just a ridiculous combination of circumstances.
I must check with her if she's secretly a genius hacker who decided to fuck with this game, or just that lucky. Then I'll know if the Vegas trip will be business or pleasure.
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Matty coming in and then fidgeting outside the kitchen was a blaring sign that things were about to get very uncomfortable. Scratch that, she's radiating enough that I'm getting sympathetic resonance from across the room.
I continue bustling about, because stopping would just make things more awkward, and I'm not sure either of us could take that.
"I may have developed a crush on somebody."
Well, that's one hell of a thing to drop on somebody. I stop my work and turn to her fully. After a moment of silence, she continues.
"In the game. It, uh, snuck up on me."
"Is it the Dragon? It's ok if it's the Dragon."
It's not ok if it's the Dragon, though couldn't truly blame her if it's the Dragon
"No, uh, it's Johann."
Oh.
"Oh."
Well, that's good.
"That's good."
She shoots me a look. It's hard to describe, except that it's coming at high velocity, so I clarify.
"Johann is one of my characters. I thought I mentioned it at some point?"
I'd give it even odds of either of us forgetting.
Matty relaxes, gives me a nod that implies a smile and plops down on the couch. A moment later she's fiddling away on her phone. And then, showing the sort of timing that makes me wonder if he's actually playing on the account I made as a joke or if it's Matty screwing with me, Dog flies across the room like fluffy shooting star and claims his position of footpillow like the probably mostly canine royalty with strange preferences that he is.
Meanwhile, I contemplate whether accidentally seducing your girlfriend is something to be proud of. Hmm, before that, I should clarify.
"What about flirting with the cute druid?"
During the following silence, I pulled the pie from the oven. Turning back to her, I am met with a stare straight at the pie. Her eyes drift up, and we stay like that for a long moment, sight line only interrupted by the occasional vapors drifting off the pie.
Then she turns back to her phone, and checks it with exaggerated motions.
"Oh look, Panoramia is taking part in the next pie competition!"
Then she goes back to staring at me. It was a fair point, so I just start cutting up the pie.
AN: This came to be because I noticed that gold/favors is kinda similar to free-to-play currencies, where you just get showered with one kind but can't do much with it, and the other type that's super useful (special buildings, training bonuses, ultra rare equipment, or just turn it into lots of the first currency) but a lot harder to come by. (There would actually be three tiers, with the super ultra rare and expensive Heroic Deeds. Though I would guess you couldn't technically buy those directly, but there would be these pricey DLC mission that just happen to reward them).
However, the comparison of Divided Loyalties to Pay-To-Win bullshit felt unfair and just insulting, so instead we have the bullshit adventures of Mathilda (yes, with an a. She's not creative in her naming) in Hammer Imagination. GW can take accusations of being money-grubbing and pay-to-win, they're a big corporation. And I mean, there's some truth there, though I don't think they're anywhere near as bad as the video game industry.
Finally, a PSA: Most whales are not rich idiots that can afford it, they are exploited people with an addiction. The narrator just doesn't think about that.
