In other news: Homura. I don't know if anyone has come up with any hypotheses better than "the potentialbomb means she's not helping and she won't have any reason to continue because we're here." Does that sound like a reasonable thing to work off of? I don't care that people think it's irrational, she isn't you and she doesn't have access to your wealth of intellect and years of free time with which to philosophize. If that is a reasonable theory to work from, what can we do with it? Like with Madoka, find things that only she can do to correct the "she won't have any reason to continue" part?
We probably can't go the Oriko route, get her together with Madoka and let her conclude that her life's purpose is to accept Madosnuggles. Too strongly against her wish, right?
Is there anything that Homura can protect Madoka from that we can't? ...Yeah, loneliness and self-esteem issues. We should proooobably mention that at some point, but I'm not sure how Homura would take it.
Hmm. There's no chance that Madoka leaning over Homura like that indicates interest from Madoka's side, right? Say that Sayaka had been sitting in the middle there; would Madoka have leaned over her like that?
I'll be honest, I don't like that hypothesis.
I think feelings of inferiority may be a contributing factor, they do after all change the context of things from "no one else can do this" to "someone else can do this, and better than I ever could." and they are something we need to help with, but I also think those feelings are recent and secondary. We knew how hard the bomb would hit Homura long before we made any real headway.
As far as how recent Homura's feelings are, looking at the cards on her witch from Rebellion it's pretty clear they she feels inferior, yes, but it's also clear that those feelings exist in the context of someone who feels they
cannot match up to who they used to be.
The Nutcracker Witch. Its nature is self-sufficiency. Its gallant form, which once split many nuts, is now useless. Without any other purpose, this witch's last wish is her own execution. However, a mere decapitation will not clear away the witch's sins. This foolish witch will forever remain in this realm, repeating the procession to her execution.
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The Nutcracker Witch. Her nature is self-sufficiency. Her teeth are showing, her skull is melted, and her eyeballs have fallen out. A promise is the only thing that pitifully planted in that head which can no longer crack any nuts, but within the husk of the awakened witch is the distinct form of a magical girl. Her servants shamefully refer to that thing as a good-for-nothing.
I'm highlight bits because I think they show clearly the context of those feelings. That Homulilly feels like someone who
used to have purpose and strength, and then lost it. Like she's been torn from her purpose because she failed, and fallen and she can't match up to her past accomplishments. As opposed to someone who was
always weak.
Yes, Homura also shows those kinds of feelings before she contracts, but she also moves past them during the first few loops and I think Rebellion shows her opinion of her early-self there too. (Even during the braids phase, she's become someone competent, who's good at solving problems. How she introduces herself to her friends by showing her ring, for instance.)
The idea that Homura feels
guilty on the other hand is something that's readily apparent when reading PMAS and I think it's important that it can be seen from reading
just PMAS. It shows up again and again and while we address it at length in the "Madoka dreams about you" conversation we also don't solve it and it goes incredibly deep in her pysche.
I think it's an idea with a strong internal logic and something who's feelings are massively exacerbated by the potentialbomb. If the parallel universes thing hits her then it's because the hurts she's caused have not been being erased. If then even her mere fighting on is hurting Madoka, and putting her in ever-more danger. And if Feathers has any relation to Madoka then there's the living embodiment of the pain she's caused too.
(And yes, I'm contesting the "irrationality" of it, and people
can be irrational, but even irrational feelings often make a strong internal sense, even if the logic hasn't been followed through yet.)
(I'm not sure how well it translates to others, but my own experience is that irrationality occurs as strong, sweeping feelings that
override sense, rather than lacking it entirely. You hear the real answer, or at least the various faults in your logic, you're just too overwhelmed by the rest of your mind to listen to them. But you
do still need some connection for the thoughts to follow, even if later or more complete logic cancels it out and your brain just doesn't
do those bits.)
I think feelings of inferiority, on the other hand, changes the
conclusion, turning it from "but I must fight on anyways" to "so I should just give up and let my betters take over" but they
exacerbate guilt and fault, rather than replace it.
So yeah, I
really do think it's Homura's feelings of guilt that's going to be at the core of everything.
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Unrelated, currently on readthrough and...
"How would you have fought, if you had to win at all costs?" Yuki asks, eyes flickering open again. "If you didn't have to care about collateral?"
"Wouldn't happen," you say firmly. "There's no circumstance where I wouldn't care about collateral."
"Humor me," Yuki says.
You shrug. "Vaporize the building, probably," you say. "Or uproot it in sections and toss it into orbit. And since we're asking questions, I have two, if you don't mind?"
I'm inordinately amused by how well this fits with "Sabrina as Walpurgisnacht" (Who pulls buildings into the sky in chunks, in her orbit, and then vaporizes them with witchfire.)
The fact that this also came out of the threadtalk at the time at the time only means
we're doing it too.
