That doesn't give you an excuse to jump down my fucking throat for me criticising a vote that isn't even fucking yours.
Puella Magi Adfligo Systema
- Thread starter Firnagzen
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- puella magi adfligo systema puella magi madoka magica be gay do crimes (gay) female protagonist bad decisions dating mami tomoe (tomoe mami) diabolical laughter friendship is the best ship handholding identity crises microwaving tea gets you put in the bad place names are important the body is the fursona of the soul this is not the baked goods thread we don't talk about rionna what could possibly go wrong? who in the world is azure sanfrancisco?
Loops
...
Oh. Yeah, that's about right. I figured from Mami's line that her mind's trying to shift gears without a clutch and latched onto that as the first thing that popped into her head. If anything, she got affected enough by Kyuubey's accusation to be suspicious of us since we didn't deny the charge of acting. And she doesn't know whether we were really her friend or if we can be trusted or... yeah.
It's also very early in the voting cycle, IB. Give it some time for the critical thinking and Tetris proofing.
Muramasa
Best Girl
You don't need to respond to every vote you don't like by freaking out over it. Yes, my post was a little angry, but you could also word your complaints a little better. For what it's worth, I apologize.
Vote attempt up.
[x]Cleanse. CLEANSE. Tug as much of the grief free as you can without going too deep and convert into marbles en-masse. No subtlety. Don't stop until she's somewhat stabilized.
[x]Keep an eye on our own Gem and cleanse if needed.
[x]Mami, I was just scared to admit it. I didn't want to hurt you and didn't know how you'd take learning about it. I was scared, and I'm sorry.
[x]I meant every word of what I said about you, what I wanted to do, and wanting to be your friend.
[x]I'm sorry. I am so sorry I couldn't find a better way than this. I know it doesn't mean much, but...
[x]Don't doubt that I wanted to be your friend, and still want to, no matter what.
[x]Even if you can't forgive me for it, please stop hurting yourself like this. Please.
[x]Hug if she lets us.
[x]Cleanse. CLEANSE. Tug as much of the grief free as you can without going too deep and convert into marbles en-masse. No subtlety. Don't stop until she's somewhat stabilized.
[x]Keep an eye on our own Gem and cleanse if needed.
[x]Mami, I was just scared to admit it. I didn't want to hurt you and didn't know how you'd take learning about it. I was scared, and I'm sorry.
[x]I meant every word of what I said about you, what I wanted to do, and wanting to be your friend.
[x]I'm sorry. I am so sorry I couldn't find a better way than this. I know it doesn't mean much, but...
[x]Don't doubt that I wanted to be your friend, and still want to, no matter what.
[x]Even if you can't forgive me for it, please stop hurting yourself like this. Please.
[x]Hug if she lets us.
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Krecart
Not for throwing.
- Pronouns
- They/Them
Possible implication of amnesia being false. May need revision.
Rewriting to make it clear it's part of the inexplicable lolknowledge.
SaltyWaffles
I am dissapoint, son
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Er, I don't think Mami has even articulated her actual concerns yet. She's been pretty incoherent so far. Cleanse, obviously, but we might want to either let her vent or ask her to clarify what she means.
I mean, I don't think we even implied that we knew Mami and all about her before we even saw her--just that we knew about soul gems and Kyubey. Mami considering Kyubey a friend is something that's easily explained as a simple observation of how Mami acts towards and speaks up Kyubey.
The gist I'm getting so far from Mami is that so much of her life has been turned upside down in so short a time, and she's suddenly finding herself unsure if anything she knew before was true. Good news is, she's already pretty certain that Sabrina is a good person that cares about her, but at the moment she's just had her other good friend admit to not being entirely honest about their relationship and she's freaking out. Kyubey turning out to be a total sociopath who was using Mami the entire time is something she never saw coming, so it throws everything else into doubt.
I mean, I don't think we even implied that we knew Mami and all about her before we even saw her--just that we knew about soul gems and Kyubey. Mami considering Kyubey a friend is something that's easily explained as a simple observation of how Mami acts towards and speaks up Kyubey.
The gist I'm getting so far from Mami is that so much of her life has been turned upside down in so short a time, and she's suddenly finding herself unsure if anything she knew before was true. Good news is, she's already pretty certain that Sabrina is a good person that cares about her, but at the moment she's just had her other good friend admit to not being entirely honest about their relationship and she's freaking out. Kyubey turning out to be a total sociopath who was using Mami the entire time is something she never saw coming, so it throws everything else into doubt.
RazorBlaxe
Just another transient being
- Location
- Earth
tl:dr = Nothing makes sense ever since you came into my life! So it's all your fault!
I'm getting this kind of vibes from Mumi anyway.
Krecart
Not for throwing.
- Pronouns
- They/Them
Provisionally include the explanation if, after letting her vent/ask, that's what she meant? That way we don't risk losing the opportunity to explain if that is what she means?
Crasian01
Insane Incubator
inb4 infinite if-statements
I want to see what Ugo cooks up. Or Immortals or whoever. I honestly can sort of see what they're getting at, but my mind doesn't quite make the leap well enough to actually write out a vote.
PhantomFractions
I can (not) type fast enough
- Location
- Australia
Damn, @SaltyWaffles, you literally just stole the words out of my mouth. I spent all this time writing the following up, though, so I'm not gonna get rid of it.
Let's just hold up a sec, here. Why are we trying to tell Mami that we knew her and the rest of the gang? I've had a quick skim through the last few story posts and our initial meeting with Mami, and I don't think we've once indicated that we know of anyONE, only that we know of the Magical Girl system and the Incubators.
Mami's last line, "B-but, bu- y-yo- knew a-and you k-knew me and y-you-" refers, in order, to us knowing about the system/kyubey, then refers to us knowing Mami due to having lived with her for a few days and seeing that she's fragile - thus we could have a reasonable guess at how she'd react to such a revelation.
I think that she's still in shock that we'd drop this bomb on her for no apparent reason beyond "You deserve the truth." Ignorance is bliss, after all, so she could be moving from denial straight into anger. Anger at us; "Why would you tell me that, I was happy not knowing, etc., etc.
So, yeah, I'd get rid of anything that suggests we know people and stick to our story that we only know random facts. One of these stories is mysterious (She knows things about the system) and the other is threatening/horrifying (She knows everything about US).
Also, there is a tendency for quest players to immediately go for the [x] Hug option as default comfort option. I get that it's nice to be hugged and that human contact can be comforting, but in some situations the hug could be seen as an invasion of personal space at best or the prelude to being restrained at worst.
Given that Mami's pulled away from us, shall we go for [x] Hold her hand/s if she lets us, instead?
Let's just hold up a sec, here. Why are we trying to tell Mami that we knew her and the rest of the gang? I've had a quick skim through the last few story posts and our initial meeting with Mami, and I don't think we've once indicated that we know of anyONE, only that we know of the Magical Girl system and the Incubators.
Mami's last line, "B-but, bu- y-yo- knew a-and you k-knew me and y-you-" refers, in order, to us knowing about the system/kyubey, then refers to us knowing Mami due to having lived with her for a few days and seeing that she's fragile - thus we could have a reasonable guess at how she'd react to such a revelation.
I think that she's still in shock that we'd drop this bomb on her for no apparent reason beyond "You deserve the truth." Ignorance is bliss, after all, so she could be moving from denial straight into anger. Anger at us; "Why would you tell me that, I was happy not knowing, etc., etc.
So, yeah, I'd get rid of anything that suggests we know people and stick to our story that we only know random facts. One of these stories is mysterious (She knows things about the system) and the other is threatening/horrifying (She knows everything about US).
Also, there is a tendency for quest players to immediately go for the [x] Hug option as default comfort option. I get that it's nice to be hugged and that human contact can be comforting, but in some situations the hug could be seen as an invasion of personal space at best or the prelude to being restrained at worst.
Given that Mami's pulled away from us, shall we go for [x] Hold her hand/s if she lets us, instead?
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PhantomFractions
I can (not) type fast enough
- Location
- Australia
Krecart
Not for throwing.
- Pronouns
- They/Them
I had not considered that. I admit, I am mostly in favor of hugs as a generic [] Apply Comfort because I assumed people liked that sort of thing. My own default response to hugs is a lot like @PhantomFractions (it was SO hard not to rate that Hugs).
Alright, sorry. But I wasn't freaking out about it, you read it completely wrong.
Alright, going through Ugo's vote with fancy colours.
The stuff that's crossed out needs to be removed. No dice just absolute removed.
Red are stuff that desperately needs to be changed, while the sentiment there expressed is nice it needs to be reworded.
Green is good.
Yellow is alright but it could use an expansion onto it.
For this bit:
[]Mami? Here's the truth. I knew who you, Madoka, and Sayaka were, the same way I knew about the system. I know some of what you've been through. I don't know how. I was just scared to admit it. I didn't want to hurt you and didn't know how you'd take learning about it. I was scared, and I'm sorry.
Maybe it should be changed to be more like:
[] I was scared Mami, I was scared that telling you about it and that I knew would hurt you. That you would resent or even hate me for it. And I couldn't bare the thought of losing you Mami, to have us stop being friends.
Meanwhile there's this line after it:
[]I meant every word of what I said about you, what I wanted to do, and wanting to be your friend.
Which can be expanded on. Not sure how but perhaps we can iterate why we want to be friends with her. Because she's kind, because she works so hard, because we admire her.
This line however NEEDS to be changed:
[]Don't doubt that I wanted to be your friend, and still want to, no matter what.
Perhaps too:
[] Nothing will ever change that I want to be your friend, to keep being friends with you. That I never want to leave your side.
The final line can be left alone with some minor alterations:
[]Even if you can't forgive me for it, please stop hurting yourself like this. Please.
Maybe add a tiny bit more emotion to it, like:
[]But... even if you can't forgive me for it, even if you hate me now, please stop hurting yourself like this. Please.
So thoughts?
You're a bit behind the times with that red paragraph, "even if you hate me" seems unnecessary, and...eh, not sure we want to expand that much for now until she's coherent.
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[x] Ugolino
I hope someone will use the achievement pic generator to give Ugo or Cras a "I Saved Mami from Witching and all I got was a dozen internet points" if their vote wins and is successful.
I hope someone will use the achievement pic generator to give Ugo or Cras a "I Saved Mami from Witching and all I got was a dozen internet points" if their vote wins and is successful.
Alright, but the keep quiet bit NEEDS to be removed. It severely hampers what progress we can make when Mami wants answers and we're not giving them. As well as changed a bit now, seems kinda... sterile would be the word for it.
Already removed, but I strongly disagree with the sterile thing.
PhantomFractions
I can (not) type fast enough
- Location
- Australia
Personally, I like the keep quiet bit, since it gives Mami an opportunity to contribute to the conversation rather than us steamrolling over her in order to get out everything that we want to say. Also, the more she says the better we understand the situation and thus the better our responses will be.
It's more like I'm worried we aren't showing enough emotion, that we aren't showing how much Mami means to Sabrina. But that's more a nitpicky worry.
She pulled herself away from Sabrina and is asking for answers. Yes a portion of that is her grief but we still need to give her an answer.
PhantomFractions
I can (not) type fast enough
- Location
- Australia
Are you sure? The previous update ended in "What did he mean?" and we've answered that question. The only other lines she has in this most recent update are:
Y-yo-" Mami croaks. "I-I... I w-want to b-believe you. A-and y-you're a good p-person and I-I- please, S-Sabrina, I, I-"
and:
"Y-yo-" She struggles weakly, pushing herself away from you, and, wincing, you let her. Her eyes are wild even as tears course down her face, pale and drawn. "B-but, bu- y-yo- knew a-and you k-knew me and y-you-"
No actual question there. I'd let her calm down a little and then when she asks us questions, then we can respond. Otherwise we're basically infodumping her with info that she didn't actually want in the first place.
We don't want to take over for Kyubey, except our shtick is "Here is stuff I think you deserve to know" whereas his shtick was "Here's all this stuff that you don't need to know."
TL;DR: "Come on Mami, use your words!"
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