Partition of Warner Bros.
The Emperor
"A pillar of Hollywood being destroyed by mismanagement. And here we are, vultures to its corpse. Feasting upon it before it becomes naught but bone and ash. I hope that we can be more wise than the men who caused it. And not let more fall apart from our hubris."
With that Sidney Shineberg walked away from 2/3rd's of the Lucasfilms triumvirate, his heart pumping at well over a hundred beats as he did in that moment truly fear that Bruce O'Brian would pummel him to a bloody pulp as some sort of revenge for his wife. Fortunately Bruce in spite of all of his idiocy did have something of a brain and kept his hands despite showing his obvious displeasure, all the while Sid made his play and showed not an ounce of weakness.
"God this town's going to absolute shit." Sid muttered under his breath as he rejoined his squad of lawyers and accountants to begin planning for the auction. To borrow a phrase from one of the studio's recent blockbuster hits, LA 'used to be a hell of a town', but then at the start of the decade things went from Golden to chaos. It all started with the Manson Murders and now Warner Bros, a sacred company who helped to build this town died in so disgraceful a manner it made Nixon's exit from the Whitehouse look classy. And a big part of it was thanks to the anarchists at Lucasfilms who burned the town down for shits and giggles without care for respect and tradition.
Unlike what Lucasfilms may think of him, Sid wasn't so arrogant as to believe that Lucasfilms were completely talentless hacks. You don't just make Star Wars out of sheer luck. However, for all the talent that they had, they didn't know how to play the game and flipped the bird to everyone except their friends and family, acting like spoiled children because they didn't get their way.
Michael Eisner had the most sense of the trio, but thanks to being given such a free hand his absolute worst traits was multiplied and now he was a cocky little shit of a sadist who acted more like a wall street thug than a studio executive. George Lucas was a naive idealist who had his head in the clouds and treated Hollywood like he was in film school. Then there was the worst of all Bruce O'Brian, a man the whole nation worshipped as some sort of hero and icon when he was a petulant child who threw hissy fits and cried when things didn't go his way and stabbed you deep in the gut for the tiniest grievance, burning Warner Bros down just because they insulted his mother-in-law.
Still, for all their faults they did have some redeeming qualities. Mike was a master businessman and if he had worked for Universal he would have been perfect heir material for Sidney. George had no business running a company, but he made pretty good movies. Bruce was a really great actor and beneath all that immaturity and rage was something of a decent human being who would have probably treated Sid like family if they were friends in another life.
Making matters worse was that this whole David and Goliath nonsense was born from legitimate grievances. If there was one good thing about Star Wars, it was that it gave Sid the justification to complete the last round of purges to clean Universal from the cancer tumors infesting the company that would have brought the company down like Warner Bros without his leadership. Too many bridges burnt from absolute sheer stupidity. The moronic editors who nearly aborted Some Nights while half the executives tried to sweep that masterpiece under the rug as a tax writeoff. The Talent VP tearing up Debbie Reynolds' contract in the aftermath of her shooting, six damn good films turned into dust just because she had a few nasty scars. The bigoted moron who did everything to kill American Graffiti from conception. Operations treating Steve like garbage during the filming of Jaws behind Sid's back and driving him into the open arms of Lucasfilms while making Steve think that Sid had spit on their friendship and history. Then the latest fiasco of Eddie Fisher and his race to get Worst Father of the Year.
For that Sid bore partial blame for leaving the message and being so blatant, but how the hell was he supposed to know Bruce O'Brian would be invited to his house and discover the recording tape? Such an ugly affair should have never happened in the first place. All Sid wanted from Eddie was to engage in cordial conversation with Carrie, at least get her to come down to the studio so he could have a normal business conversation, that's all he had to fucking do. Then the has-been moron tried to gaslight the wife of the Goose and pull all this mental shit instead of conducting professional business. It was far too late to back out of the contract with Eddie, but Sid made damn sure the salary would be slashed for such unprofessionalism.
Now what's done was done and Sid now had to face the reality that one of Universal's competitors was a frat house born from a gathering of men scorned by Universal in one way or another and had some of the greatest talent this town had ever seen. However, Sid would be damn sure that while '76 was the year of Lucasfilms, it would be its last highlight and this was going to be the start of the Universal dynasty. The house was cleaned and the board and upper executive leadership was entirely under his control. He had a strong lineup of films either starring Hollywood's greatest actors or helmed by its most visionary directors who were not friends of George Lucas. They had the biggest checkbook, the best network on TV, and a biopic in the works that would topple Star Wars.
Let Lucasfilms celebrate all they wished, for the Universal Empire was on the rise.
The Gambler
Once the intermission for a lunch break had begun, Alan Hirschfield stormed out of the building and lit up a cigarette, slowly sinking into the ground as he leaned against the building like some stoner delinquent, his breathing heavy and body shaking as the high nerves and pressure of the auction room were getting to him with only the sweet relief of tobacco helping to keep Alan from going into a full blown panic attack over having just committed what was most definitely the ballsiest stunt in Hollywood history.
At the beginning of the year as Alan watched Lucasfilms turn Taxi Driver into a beloved sleeper hit and contender for Best Picture from the Academy, something broke inside of Alan. It was a stunning embarrassment to sell the film for pennies as the enemy was swimming in cash and all for what, baseless fears of sex and violence being too much? Alan should have known better, sex sells and America loves violence, but he was too focused on the budgets and obsessed over public opinion, playing it safe instead of taking bold risks.
His talk with Michael Eisner also made Alan take a critical look at his life. So many years of his life dedicated to Columbia and what did he get? Absolutely zero respect, treated as a joke by the competition, completely forgotten by the public, and looked upon by his former employers as a useful toadie for their investments. Come twenty, thirty years later and what kind of legacy would Alan Hirschfield leave in Hollywood? Just being a footnote in the company historybooks and another suit in the sea of corporate America. He would retire to Florida to die in bored luxury and the world would completely forget he existed.
That was not a fate that Alan would accept, he was goddamn Alan Hirschfield, President of Columbia Pictures, one of the greatest movie studios in Hollywood. What was the point of playing it safe and building the company up if the rest of Hollywood left them in the dust? Why settle for easy money when you never got a taste of the Blockbuster? Why do safe when the people forgot most of your films existed by the next year?
Alan took a long and hard look of where the future lied and he found it in Warner Bros. While the studio may have died a rotten death, at its core the institution and what made it great was still pure, it was just unfortunate enough to have its reign held by criminal morons. There was no way in hell Alan could transform Columbia into a master of cinema on his own. He didn't have the talent of Lucasfilms, the popularity and love of Disney, or the financial empire of Universal. So instead of creating an empire from a backwater duchy, why not steal the crown of a fallen kingdom?
After several months of negotiations with the tycoons and wolfs of Wall Street, Alan got the funds he needed to buy most of Warner Bros and assimilate them into a reborn Columbia. Ironically he had Star Wars to thank for his success as it was only after the film's revolutionary release that most of his contacts returned calls and gave him very generous loan offers now that they saw Hollywood as a town as rich as the Arab oil fields. It was an insane gamble that if Columbia had a handful of box office bombs then they were fucked harder than Warner and Alan would be robbed homeless, but it was a necessary risk. Now all that was left to do was to make great films, starring with the man of tommorrow.
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!" Yelled a very irate Sid Shineberg, marching to Sidney with heavy bluster and rage, face red and suit disheveled. It was a far sight from his usual calm demeanor, and had Alan not been so exhausted from the auction then he would have perhaps been intimidated.
"I'm taking a smoke, it's a free country jackass." Alan muttered. Perhaps not the wisest choice of words as Sidney got in his face and pushed him to the wall.
"You think this is some sort of sick joke? You think we're just playing a big ol game of Monopoly and all you need to do is keep on passing Go?" Questioned Sidney.
Not caring for Hollywood drama, Alan pushed Sidney off and threw his cigarette on the ground, smashing it under his shoe. "I'm not in the mood for all this corporate speak nonsense. Just speak plainly Sidney."
"What the fuck was that back there? Spending half a billion dollars on the auction, taking away future Universal properties?!" Sidney seethed.
"I'm a businessman, I got presented with an opportunity and I took it. I'm sorry you didn't get to buy everything in the toy store Sid, but you don't see Diller or O'Brian crying over spilled milk." Bruce O'Brian actually surprised Alan greatly. He expected the Irishman to spout threats and start picking fights for his next studio to kill, but the Irishman had been rather subdued. Perhaps he was just content getting THX for his friend and everything else was just circumstantial.
Sidney laughed with an ugly sneer and stared down at Alan who stood his ground, "You may think you have some precious victory from today, that the papers will sing Columbia's praises and your board is going to give you a fat raise thanks to the stock increases, but all you did was sign your own death warrant. Half a billion dollars in debt, you think fucking Superman is going to erase all of that? You didn't change a single thing, Columbia's still just a mediocre second-rate studio and come 1980 we're going to do this same song and dance over your company's grave. Congratulations Alan, I'll be sure to make a Biopic about the most moronic businessman in American history." Sid finished, then stormed off and swore a flurry of curses as his hands made strangling and fistful gestures.
In another time Alan would have avoided confrontation and just let Sidney have his word and then bluster in anger. But after spending half a billion dollars, Alan didn't feel in the mood to turn the other cheek and let Sid have his time. "Who the hell do you think you are?" Alan called after him.
Sid turned around, looking at Alan incredulously. "I'm Sidney Shineberg, CEO of Universal Studios."
Alan laughed, "Universal, the richest studio in town. You people are so damn self-righteous, all high and mighty, holier than though because you got the first Blockbusters when all you are is just a one trick pony whose got squat left for the theaters."
"Every single movie we've released since the Strike has been a critical and commercial success." Sidney shot back.
"Oh sure, but at the end of the day the public only associates your company with three movies. American Graffiti, Jaws and Some Nights. What do those three have in common? They were all made by the leaders of Lucasfilms!" Alan shot, making Sidney very riled up. If Universal kept Lucas, Spielberg and the O'Brian-Reynolds family on board then they would have truly been unstoppable. But instead they drove away the best talent in this town over paranoia for Bruce's stunt with MASH.
"We're more than those three! We got some of the best films to ever be made in development." Sidney fought back.
"And how long before Kubrick and the others get treated like crap the same way and then go off running to George Lucas?"
"That is not MY Universal." Sidney declared.
"Really, cause I haven't seen a single thing change. New clothes, same emperor. You sit on your mountain of money and look down upon all of us like we're rats, when your company's fortune was built off of others labor and you spit on them in return. Sooner or later that money's gonna dry and you know what you'll be met with, a town where you have no friends, a public who sees you as villains, divas and egomaniacs who have no loyalty without cash, and competition who moved forward in the future while you kept jacking off to your glory days. Learn your place Sid."
Alan then stormed off to return to the auction, ignoring the volley of curses and threats from Sidney in return. Fighting back may not have been the wisest decision, but then again Lucasfilms chose to wage war with Universal when they had nothing and they seemed to be doing pretty great themselves. Besides, after spending half a billion there really wasn't any option to just pla nice and quietly collect money. Alan chose to thrust himself into the Game of Films and crossed the rubicon with no hope of a graceful defeat. Now he intended to win.
The Last Disney
As the menagerie of executives and lawyers hashed out business with one another, one Roy E. Disney sat in quiet solitude with a club sandwich. Always an introvert like his father, Roy had no desire to engage in cuthtroat business and left the messy aspects of film to his loyal squad of executives who came with him on this brave venture. While Roy had unfortunately failed on bringing Superman to the House of Mouse and the tv division was too expensive for his reach, he succeded in what he set out to do, bringing Bugs Bunny to magic kingdom, and that alone more than made today a victory and a much needed success for Disney in his Cold War with his brother-in-law.
Ever since his beloved father died, Roy had been treated as a joke within his family's own company. Before he knew what hit him, he had been conned out of power by those bastards Tatum and Walker who turned Uncle Walt's magic kingdom into a theme park empire that just happened to make movies. The heart and soul of Disney in their animation department had been starved and neglected of love like an abused orphan, overworked and underfunded to create mediocre movies lacking in the wonder of the golden age, all the while they pumped out mediocre live action popcorn flicks. It was bad enough that Roy had to watch as his family's legacy was dying, but it was even worse when his cousin-in-law was a willing co-conspirator to Tatum and Walker in pushing him to the sidelines.
Oh how Roy couldn't stand Ron Miller. The man acted so pompous and so self-important, carrying himself like he was Walt's blood son when he married into the family. Roy had always been good to Walt's side, he loved all of his cousins dearly and in return he was stabbed in the back and pushed to irrelevance by Ron who found greater friendship into two business bastards than his wife's kin. Only Ron's genuine devotion and goodness to being a husband and father to his family kept Roy from outright hating the man, but he couldn't stand how delusional Ron could be by claiming to act in the name of Walt's vision and then invest so much of the company's resources in that morbid horror crap Carpenter was making.
While there had been a brief sense of camraderie between the two Disney branches over their shared defense against the attempted hostile takeover two years ago, the brotherhood was quickly fading as the company increasingly crapped on Walt's legacy, outright downsizing the animation department to Roy's fierce protest.
Roy had been sent on this mission to take part in the auction of Warner Bros as an intentioanl setup. Tatum and Walker knew that Disney couldn't compete with Universal's deep pocket books (and apparently Columbia's secret stash), and when Roy returned to the company with meager gains then they could use it as the final justification to remove the last of his hard power and influence and made sure there was no Disney left in Disney. Unfortunately for them, Roy had a secret weapon up his sleeve, kindness and decency.
Since the meltdown began, Roy began making quiet trips to the home of Jack Warner. At first it was out of respect for a fallen foe, but after that first conversation some sort of kinship had been forged with Roy reminding Jack of his parent and Uncle, one of the last good things about old Hollywood. Roy in return found a kind and tired soul who was one of the last dreamers and genuine lovers for animation in his town, someone like his family who had the misfortune of seeing his company ruined by villains masquerading as intellegent businessman, something Roy deeply feared was happening to the Disney company. After several weekly lunches, Roy had achieved an unexpected victory when Jack Warner signed over the Looney Tunes to the Disney family, and specifically in this case Roy as the last Disney in the family no matter what Ron claimed.
When Roy began his visits, he honestly had no intentions of making some hidden grab for power, but the gift was a very welcome one with Roy promising the dying Warner that he and his brothers legacy would be in good hands with Disney and he would make sure that the Brothers were just as honored in Disney Canon as his dad and uncle. After this day, Roy would be hailed by the public and the company as the man who brought the Looney Tunes to the House of Mouse. The Triumvirate sent him to Warner Bros to end his career, and in return he gave the company their greatest gift since Disney World. Now they would have to acknowledge and respect Roy, and once he had enough wealth he could hopefully take the company back for his family.
"Excuse me, Mr. Disney?"
Roy's melancholic musings were interrupted by the unexpected presence of the towering boxer turned A-lister who many considered to be the ideal America, Bruce O'Brian.
Roy panicked internally as he tried to remember if Disney did anything to snub Bruce besides not hiring his friend George with his script. Outwardly none could tell with the Disney maintaining his same stoic demeanor. "May I help you?" Roy asked quietly.
Bruce sighed and shifted a bit in place akwardly, looking more like a proper college graduate than the studio destroyer and larger than life icon that he was. "I was just wondering...what your intentions for the Looney Tunes were."
Roy wondered if this was some sort of Godfather-like threat, but Bruce's tone suggested more sad curiosity than scheming. "Well we're probably going to integrate them into Anaheim and Orlando with new rides and pavilions. Animation is likely to create some Bugs and Mickey crossover shorts, pair up some of the other characters as well. After that, hopefully we can make some good movies and shows, give the Tunes some love as new members of the family." Roy said, though it was a vague hope with how much the Triumvirate was cannibalizing the Animation Department. For now all Roy could do was strategize with Chuck Jones to present a animation resurrection plan to the Board that could give them majority support for a new lease on animation with Roy planning to spend the rest of Christmas break networking with sympathetic and neutral board members to outmaneuver Tatum and Walker.
Bruce nodded absently, visibly not satisfied but content, or at least Roy hoped. "You know the Looney Tunes are probably my favorite franchise, or second favorite once we do some more stuff for Star Wars. They're so hilarious and intellegently written, showing the genius of comedy and the wonders of animation and its potential over live action. I was really hoping they could have a good home with us, I was willing to spend 150 million to have them become part of the family."
Roy's eyes briefly bulged at the dollar amount, something far beyond Disney's capabilities without heavy debt while this studio which only had two in-house movies was able to throw it around like wallet money. Oh how the times had changed.
"If your Uncle was still alive, I could rest easy knowing they were in good hands. Now with current leadership, I'm not so sure." Roy winced as he remembered that some of the Animation team's layoffs had jumped ship to Lucasfilms as Editors and Magicians, likely spreading word of the current depressing atmosphere for the department.
"That is an unfortunate truth." Roy admitted, not caring for the lack of unity in such a statement, "My superiors may have lost sight of Uncle Walt's vision but I never have. I can't promise that we can return to how things used to be, but I can promise that I'll do everything in my power to make sure the Tunes have a good home."
Bruce nodded slightly, wearing a sad and soft smile, "I hope so. Although in saying that, I apologize in advance for the next decade when our animated films take first place at the box office. Good day Mr. Disney." Bruce said and left, giving Roy some valuable information in that Lucasfilms was deadset on joining the animation game that Disney for the moment only shared with Hanna-Barbera.
As Roy watched Bruce leave, he couldn't help but wonder just what his father and Uncle would have thought of the man, both dying right on the eve of Bruce's rise in Hollywood. His father probably would have respected Bruce as a competent businessman with enough wits to build a strong studio with an explosive start. Walt would most likely have probably loved Bruce, regardless if he was the competition. A devoted family man and patriot who had an intense passion for filmmaking, that was the same kind of description that one could give to Walt Disney. Star Wars was the exact kind of movie magic Walt had always aimed for, and while the rest of the Disney board tried to brush it off as a lucky shot Roy knew that Walt would have absolutely adored the movie.
It really was a damn shame that Lucasfilms rose after Walt died, when the company strayed far from its path. Maybe in another life Star Wars could have been a Disney film.
The Nice Guy
Paramount CEO Barry Diller was not having a good day, not at all. He had come to the auction with great hopes of being one of the great partitioners of Warner Bros like Austria, Prussia and Russia had with Poland; overseeing the death of a Titan and getting his fair slice of cake to help give Paramount a strong start to the Blockbuster era. Unfortunately, these plans were brutally torpedoed by Alan Hirschfield turning into a secret billionaire and stealing the lion's share of the pot, a spiteful Sidney threw fat stacks of cash to absorb the tv department and Exorcist, and somehow the Disneys conned everyone out of the Looney Tunes. Barry may not have technically lost much and at least Paramount wasn't going to enter into steep debt. But he walked away from the cake without even getting a lick of the icing. Thus to make something out of his failure, Barry pursued his newfound strategy that he used to help keep Paramount afloat in the midst of the Blockbuster Wars, play the nice and neutral Sweden of Hollywood and get everybody to stab each other to death while quietly making money in the background.
"You know Mike, I think after today I can manage to convince the others to welcome Lucasfilms into the Coalition." Barry suggested to Mike Eisner.
While they weren't friends exactly, Barry had always made sure to keep cordial relations with Eisner and Lucasfilms, being one of the few members of the establishment to see them as the hidden threat that they were and wanting to keep them on cordial relations so Coppola wouldn't pull a Spielberg and jump ship to be a Lucas exclusive out of a sense of friendship and solidarity. Barry always liked Mike as a kindred spirit in the business side of Hollywood and while nothing concrete had been created like Lucasfilms' marriage to Toho, they always had open dialogue and kept to a non-aggression pact.
Mike unashamedly rolled his eyes at the offer, "Sounds like a wonderful invitation, joining a club who spends more of their time stabbing each other than Universal."
Barry tried to brush it off with a laugh but he knew that Mike was speaking the truth. He had personally founded the "Hollywood Coalition" after the bullshit that Universal tried to pull with the '75 Oscars as a way to contain the evil empire while also creating an entente to help the studios work together in the midst of the strike. Only instead of working as a true alliance, they were more of a vague entente with all the backstabbings and treachery of the Napoleonic Coalitions. That worked just fine for Barry but he needed balance and restraint so they could unite in times of crisis to put Universal down a notch.
"You know how crazy this town has become in the last few years. People just get scared and desperate when the times change is all. Although I think it's safe to say that after today that we'll have cooler heads now that we know where everyone stands." Barry assured. Then again, if the other studios cried as hypocrites and whined about Lucasfilms when they got the lion's share of Warner's corpse it would not surprise him in the least.
"I don't like to waste my time Barry. Why spend any talking with your little club when I can continue kicking ass with the company?" Mike said. One could take him as cocky, but Barry also knew it was a test, to see if Barry was really earnest about involving Lucasfilms in the coalition and if he was desperate or casual. Both sides playing a silent game of chicken.
Barry refused to blink, "Because come '78 this little power vaccum caused by the strike is gonna run dry and your studio isn't going to have the benefit of competing against rushed schlock. Instead of going to total war and acting like every weekend is Defcon 1, let's have a little civility in competition like the good old days. If you don't take your seat now then the door's just gonna close."
"I'll think about it." Mike said passively. Both men were silent for ten seconds, keeping their best poker faces and waiting for the other to make some sort of concession. With the impasse being maintained, Barry decided to switch topics and get down to direct business.
"So Mike, your wizards at ILM going to be busy next year?" Barry inquired.
"Depends, we've got pre-productions in the works, have to plan out commitments. I'd say for the next two-ish years we'll be free for some third party contracting. Then it's all hands on deck for the Star Wars sequel." Mike said.
"Sequel?!" Barry nearly yelled out Bad enough they were dealing with a film projected for a billion, but another one? Would this break another box office record, would the public become even more enslaved to the galaxy far, far, away?
"Yeah, George has a whole trilogy planned out. Everyone's coming back, going to have bigger budgets, bigger scale." Mike teased, driving Barry crazy at the implications.
Sure a sequel didn't mean Lucasfilms would get another billion dollars as Godfather Part II had made less than half the original. But the Godfather Part II wasn't a film tailored to the general public and families like Star Wars, and it didn't star Carrie O'Brian, the woman who was 2 for 2 in starring in the highest grossing film of all time.
If anything it further cemented Barry's decision to make an offer, "I was wondering if ILM was still open to its original mission statement, of creating SFX for studios willing to give the right payment, even if it's out of house."
"Let me guess, Star Trek?" Mike asked the obvious.
"Maybe." In this affair, Mike Eisner didn't need corporate espionage as it was an open secret that every contracted writer in town not working for George Lucas was given new orders to make some sort of space film in the vein of Star Wars. Paramount was fortunate to have ownership of the greatest space show on television. The Monday after Star Wars release, Barry had an impromptu visit from a smug Gene Roddenberry who was well on his way to getting both a Phase II and movie saga.
"I'll have to take a look at the schedule, see if we have any pressing commitments. I'll call you once we're done perhaps we can come to an arraignment." Once again more smugness, but there was some hints of reciprocation, which was more than what Barry needed at the moment.
Sure having Lucasfilms take partial credit for Paramount's first Blockbuster would make it a pyrrhic victory, but if it raised the film's quality and got them hundreds of millions, then some shared credit was worth it. Barry couldn't be more than greatful that Paramount's leadership was full of relatively normal men and women who didn't engage in this blood feud nonsense and focused on what was happening in-house then losing their mind about their competitors everytime they sneezed.
It was what ultimately helped Paramount survived in these trying times. While everyone felt the need to compensate and engage in turf wars at the box office with spectacle while creating cruel and pointless drama, Paramount slid under the radar and focused on making decent stuff and keeping a profit. Sure Paramount may be lacking in the media attention given to Universal and Lucasfilms, but it helped to create a brand of reliability. Good old Paramount, creating consistently decent movies which would give you a good time, and being a clean-ish house that lacked the drama of their competitors for investors to buy safe stocks.
For now while Hollywood burned, Paramount would remain an island of sanity and quietly build their strength. Then, when they finally found their winning formula and had their own Star Wars, the gloves would come off and Paramount would deliver a series of knockouts to the competition to earn its rightful place as king of the hill.
The Peacemaker
Senior Vice President of Operations for United Artists Andy Albeck felt greatly like a fish out of water. He came in with an impossible mission, compete against the Hollywood Establishment to get some sort of slice of the Warner Bros pie. Only instead of getting a slice, Andy was having to settle for crumbs as his attempts to make any headway into an auction were met by his competitors outbidding him within a minute, forcing Andy to play the role of an observer instead of an equal.
It was a tough task for United Artists when they had always been the home of the Indies, the paupers of the Hollywood Club. For many years since the company had gone public they had engaged in a see-saw of profits and lossses. The 70's had been an overall disaster saved for the blessing of Woody Allen and it was only thanks to One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest that the studio was able to have a definitive win this decade and erase their mountain of debt piled up from the Writer's Strike....only to enter into more debt to compete at the auction and to find that their mountain was more of a more hill compared to the bank accounts of their competitors. Hell, Lucasfilms a practical baby of Hollywood was worth several times UA's weight in gold with just two complete Lucasfilms productions under their belt.
Sure Alan should have expected such a lack of success given he was representing the small fish in a crowded pond, but he had been desperately praying for some sort of miracle to bridge the growing civil war between UA's leadership and their corporate insurance masters of Transamerica. Things had never been easy between the two companies since the acquisition thanks to Transamerica treating UA as a purely commercial venture instead of appreciating the artistry, often refusing association with UA's more risky adventures like Midnight Cowboy. Transamerica wanted UA to follow the Universal model and become a blockbuster machine, UA wished to stick to its roots and act as the house of the artist with total creative freedom, money mostly be damned.
The divide had only grown worse over the past two years with Lucasfilms' entry onto the scene. Overnight Lucasfilms had apparently usurped UA's former reputation as the home for artists, importing Japan's works with great love and care and providing a refuge for a handful of hidden geniuses who had been spurned by the rest of the town, UA included. Now with a quarter of underdog masterpieces and a deep friendship with Clint Eastwood, the public at large saw Lucasfilms as the studio who fought for the little guy and filmmakers and actors alike were flocking to get contracts. The other day Andy had gone on a recruiting spree to CalArts, and while he met with a handful of students the Lucasfilms booth got a long line of dozens of hopefuls.
The UA leadership absolutely despised this new state of affairs, of Lucasfilms stealing their reputation as the champion of the artists just because they supported a small club of film brats that UA had unfortunately overlooked. Over the past year, UA sought to regain its reputation as the artist's studio by launching an expansive networking campaign to gain as many Indie creators as they could who found their films killed by the Strike and fund them to completion or help create new ideas, at the same time trying to push that Lucasfilms was no home of geniuses but an exclusive frat club of friends. Transamerica went livid at the campaign as wasteful spending and tried to discipline the executives. A a walkout nearly commenced that was just ended by Andy playing diplomat which ended in a compromise of a new slate of Indies alongside some mini blockbusters crafted to Transamerica's chosing. But the bad blood was still there and there was only so much Andy could do when after every fire he put out two more popped up in its place.
Both sides wanted visions which were incompatible and unrealistic. Transamerica wanted movies like Star Wars, Jaws, and Some Nights when UA didn't have the resources or talent to pull it off. United Artists wanted a factory of creativity when the old model just wasn't profitable nowadays and a good deal of their prospective filmmakers were mediocre. There was an obvious solution in compromise of Lucasfilms, the studio which combined smart business with magic and creativity, but anytime Alan tried to suggest such he got shot down for trying to turn UA into the enemy.
Now he was going to come home a failure thanks to being given an impossible task he had no means of pursuing. Andy could spin this as a decent day if he got a handful of decent scripts to make his immediate superiors happy, but Transamerica was going to be pissed and the infighting would break out all over again with Andy taking on a role that was increasingly akin to the Papacy in World War I, making sane calls for peace between two sides who had more fun shouting at each other than working together.
It was a role that Andy hated above all else and was making him turn against the company he had devoted most of his career to. Andy didn't like fighting or being forced to pick sides above all else, he just wished for the good old days when UA was one big happy family and not a rebellious teen against their corporate stepfather. It was a job that was crushing his spirt and even if the company had strong success for the rest of the decade, sooner or later Andy felt he was going to be forced to pick a side.
Which was why in the midst of this pool of sharks, Andy sought to plant the seeds for his plan B.
"Bruce O'Brian, it's good to finally be able to meet you!" Andy said cheerfully, shaking Bruce's hand vigorously as he returned from a conversation with Roy Disney. Andy had been watching Bruce and Mike for a while, and with Mike engaged with Barry, Andy sought to have a talk before the dreaded Shogun of Lucasfilms returned to his boss' side to block Andy.
"Um....thanks I guess." Bruce replied cautiously, being on guard as he was in the boxing ring with Andy taking a seat next to him without asking the Irishman first. "You're one of the UA guys right?"
Andy nodded, "Vice President of Operations, Andy Albeck. I just want to say I LOVE Star Wars. The best movie that's ever been made, such a shame that the Oscars snubbed you from Best Supporting Actor, every second of you as Han was incredible." Andy complimented sincerely.
"Thanks." Bruce said neutrally, body language tightening and eyes narrowing in suspicion. Andy realized that this was the infamous Bruce paranoia that made him so hostile to the establishment, but if Andy could make peace with the two halves of UA he could warm up the Goose.
"You know it's kind of funny, in another universe I'd be your partner for the auction and a producer for Rocky. I can understand why you chose Mike in the end though. The man is wickedly smart with finance. Did a lot of things differently than I would have, but I can see why things worked out."
"What are you talking about?" Bruce asked.
It was a shame to Andy that he didn't remember but it was understandable, they didn't even get to an interview. "Back when your company was starting out I sent in my resume for the presidency, only my campaign ended up like McGovern's." Andy joked in a bit of self-deprecation.
Bruce looked a bit bashful at the information, "I'm sorry for not remembering but that was years ago and Mike was our first interview, made a damn good impression so George and I hired him on the spot."
"Understandable, these things happen, and hey it worked out for you." Andy said, trying desperately to set the Goose at ease and present himself as a likable friend of sorts.
When he had sent in his resume, the first time he ever thought about leaving the company, it had come as a result of pushing from his wife who noticed that he had increasingly come home from work unhappy and wanted him to get a change of employment. Lucasfilms had been a hell of a gamble, but being President of something new would have been a fun experience and Studio President and a million dollar salary was a hell of a step up from his place back then as a mid-level executive.
While at first Andy thought nothing of his rejection and went back to his duties as a UA man, with each new success story of Lucasfilms and this most recent year of wild blockbuster highs, Andy grew a bit despondent over what could have been. He could have done just as good as Mike. He probably would have gotten along better with George and Bruce and run it as an honest company without Eisner's scummy snake oil tactics. He could have had a role in Star Wars, his new favorite film!
For now the best he could do was to form something of a friendship with Bruce and get a foot in the door so that if he ever had to jump ship there was a lifeboat waiting.
Feeling increasingly unwelcome, Andy decided to be forthright, "Listen Bruce, I apologize for the way this town has been treating you and if UA has had any part to play in it. Once upon a time the studios used to work in an atmosphere of friendly competition and respect for the art, but recently things have been so nasty and most everyone in this room would rather be happy stabbing each other than making good movies."
"And I'm supposed to believe that UA isn't?" Bruce said snarkily.
"Oh no, we're more than a fair bit responsible." Andy admitted honestly to the surprise of Bruce. "Thankfully we're not Warner Bros or Universal, but we're not perfect and could have been a lot better, there's a reason we weren't exempt from the strike like you. But at its heart, UA and Lucasfilms, we're not so different. We're studios for artists by artists, same vision but different people."
"If that's so why did George never find a home with you people?" Bruce questioned.
"Because we can't say yes to everyone who walks through our doors, and sometimes we make the wrong decisions, saying No to George Lucas was one of our worst. But that's what's good about Lucasfilms existing, we can both work together to make great movies for the sake of art while the others are focused on profits."
Bruce was still doubtful, but he at least seemed to be intrigued, "That's the kind of business model I was hoping this town would run on, but it seems a bit too good to be true."
Andy held his hands up, "Fair, but you do have that alliance with Toho don't you? It's been working good so far for the both of you, and wouldn't it be better to have friends in this town instead of going alone? I can't promise anything concrete at this point, but I'll do my best to give your company a voice of support and hopefully one day we can be partner instead of enemies."
Bruce stayed silent for a while and Andy feared that he had overreached until he saw a slow nod, "Alright, what do you have in mind?"
Thus for the next ten minutes the two had decent conversation, at first of potential business and then later a casual and friendly chat over the current trends in entertainment with Bruce noticeably relaxing and being more open. When Andy noticed Eisner walk towards the two with a stinkeye directed at the Vice President, Andy chose to strategically withdraw and then make a couple of polite rounds of small talk with the other companies to masquerade his conversation with Lucasfilms as just another part of casual business.
Part of Andy wished he could have been very forthright and made an open request to join the team, but he still had some dignity left and didn't want to quit on UA entirely until all hope was truly lost. Still, he at least had his foot in the door and hopefully made a favorable impression with Bruce by being a decent guy. Even if there was no hope in hell of replacing Mike Eisner as studio president, Andy could settle for a lower position so long as he got to work in a company that didn't act manic depressive on a daily basis. Plus it'd be nice to be both an underdog and win.
The Goose
Once the lunch break was over the studios returned to fight over the scraps, and while far less vicious than the nine digit bargain wars over Warner Bros' most famous properties, it still made for a tense room of sharks as the bad blood was still boiling and everyone tried to do their best to give the other studios burns and cuts with prestigious takeaways. United Artists did its best to grab as many scripts as possible against a seeting Sid, Alan sipped on cocktails for the rest of the auction, lacking any money to make a show for the scraps and wishes to purge the stress away. Disney made some plays at some of the classics but for the most part were conservative, content with the Looney Tunes. Diller showed some interest but then backed off, deciding a lack of expenses was better than unnecessary ones. And Bruce fought and got most of his wish list with the B-movies, ancient black and whites and popcorn shmock just being handed out for pennies on the dollar to Universal to boast about their extensive library.
At the end of the day, the six studio heads walked out, each with their own mixture of success and frustrations. Near a billion dollars was spent in a single day, and instead of shifting the landscape of Hollywood towards a single clear victor, all that had been done was to further turn the Blockbuster Wars into an ugly mess with the upcoming decade promising to be a brutal free for all. A great partition was performed, a once beloved institution was put to rest, and in the end the only absolute winner was the IRS with all the lost tax revenue coming home.
For a minute a couple dozen suits walked out of the auction room and strode on the Burbank lot in an almost cinematic exit with great swagger and style, and then the mood quickly faded with everyone breaking off into a bunch of different directions with awkward smalltalk and passive aggressive threats commencing.
At the end of the pack was Bruce O'Brian and Michael Eisner, two men who were still looked down as the runts of Hollywood despite having more wealth than most production studios in town combined.
Bruce exhaled greatly, almost wishing that he had gone with George to Hawaii even if it meant Mike going at it alone. "Hell of a day."
"You could say that again. Well at least I'm not gonna get fired for losing THX to Universal." Mike said. Even for a ruthless shark like him being stuffed in a room with his counterparts and coming out with a dozen classics and no grand properties made for an exhausting day and bitter outcome.
Brue chuckled slightly, "Oh come on Mike, George wouldn't do something like that so arbitrarily. He'd understand. And I guess we can count today as a win off of that alone, got some nice classics to slowly build up the war chest as well."
"Yeah and we didn't even technically lose a single dollar thanks to your generous contribution." Mike complimented. Bruce groaned at the reminder, having pumped 150 million with expectations for a war of financial attrition only to just spend 30 million.
"Well, at least everyone's going to get their raises and the boys wont be left wanting for budgets." Bruce said.
"Just don't get too comfortable giving them blank checks like Steve and Close Encounters. It works for now but if we ever find ourselves running dry at the box office our high quality is going to turn into steep black holes of debt." Mike warned, with Bruce nodding absently. "You want to drop by the office? I got a bottle of Scotch that needs pouring."
Bruce shook his head, "Save that for when we get a strong victory. Besides, I'm Debbie's ride and the Mrs. is going to get cranky if we don't come home soon.
"Alright, just stop by the office on Thursday, we need to get the scripts assigned before the Directors start fighting like cats." The two men said their goodbyes and split in different directions, with Bruce taking a stroll through the Burbank lot to meet up with Debbie.
As Bruce walked through the house of Warner, he took a leisurely pace and played a silent tourist through the various sets and stages, occasionally peeking in and finding works that looked like they had been abandoned mid-production, setpieces falling apart and props scattered haphazardly while there was a rather depressing air emanating from the room. When Bruce was starting out in his early days of Hollywood, working in Burbank had been one of his vague dreams to establish his film career. Now he was one of their competitors that helped to plunge the final stake in the heart of Warner Bros, turning what was once a heart of film into a ghost town.
Come next year the only thing that would be left from the Universal days was the famous Water tower, only being kept there to prevent a PR backlash more than anything. Three years in Lucasfilms' operation and an old piece of Hollywood's soul had died. Who would be next, would Lucasfilms ever share the same fate?
