That doesn't mean the conjunction of your critical failure and enemy critical success will be exactly as bad as the conjunction of your nothing and enemy critical success.
I expect the effect of the critical failure is that we get a drastically lowered cyber-defense DC but if we did nothing then the attacker would auto-succeed (on anything other than a 1) anyway because their bonuses are higher than the DC.
The critical fail will mostly have an effect on future turns after the probabilinator stops applying. I'm guessing we'll have to research the SHV in order to be able to build up the firewalls faster than they can broken down.
Officer Clawhauser loved Gazelle. Her Lyrics, her grace; everything about the pop star was fantastic! And normally that wasn't an issue. Until today.
Don't be fooled by the ears
She is not playing fair
She is stalking her lair
For the thrill of the kill
Clawhauser's breath quickened. He was well aware of his position as the last predator left on the force after the nighthowler killings case, and the way that Mayor Lionheart was sacked. he shouldn't be listening to this. It didn't take much to see the pattern. The slightest black mark against him and he could be next. If he lost this job, he wouldn't be getting another one.
Every person in town
Is aware of her stare
When she smiles so fair
They go perfectly still
Gazelle wasn't wrong. Ever since Mayor Lionheart was jailed, Zootopia had been getting more and more suspicious of predators. New laws had been popping up every other day, and each of them specifically targeted towards his own kind. Clawhauser wasn't a good investigator. He wasn't in great physical shape. But that didn't mean he wasn't a good cop. He was friendly and cuddly, pleasant to everyone. His demeanor made him ideal for front desk duty, where he regularly dealt with victims of terrible crimes whose trust in the rules, and in authority was damaged. That's why he was assigned to the front desk in the first place.
All their eyes say, "don't attack me."
Watch them sweat and pant and shake
Every food chain has its acme
And Bellwether eats steak
Clawhauser's breath quickened. He really really should not be listening to this. Gazelle would be next, he realized. Just like the others who criticized Mayor Bellwether. She would be 'murdered by another predator gone mad.' A 'tragic' fate that for some reason just kept happening to those that defended the 'mad beasts.' The pattern was clear. It didn't take an ace detective to uncover it. But even though everyone knew what was happening, no one did anything about it. Except for Gazelle. Poor Gazelle.
She's the queen of the beasts
She can smell your fear
In this biosphere
She's the apex predator
Bellwether wouldn't be letting her live. Bellwether hated predators. To be compared to one herself...
Like a lionesses
Only with less claws
Don't fall in her paws
She's the apex predator
He shouldn't be listening, but... he didn't have any control over the radio. How did it get on the radio!? Bellwether controlled everything! There were laws in place to stop this. Her thugs and goons were in place to stop this. But it was playing nevertheless!
At the watering hole
See the preds who weren't nice
Have to scatter like mice
From a jungle cat
How. How? How!? This would infuriate her. Bellwether would be striking back. Gazelle was in danger! She knew, she had to know! If she wrote this song she had to know she had to protect herself, right?
And though Judy was great
She did not have this power
People literally cower
Judy can't do that
Clawhauser's stomach turned as he remembered the cute little bunny officer that died. her memory used as a rallying cry and an explanation for the behavior of predators.
Clawhauser didn't hate her, though most predators did, now. Judy was a cop, not a scientist. She shouldn't have been asked to figure out why predators were attacking, and her theory was clearly wrong and shouldn't have been accepted. She wasn't malicious, she was scared, and ignorant and...
And dead. A victim more than a Martyr, Clawhauser suspected. Murdered to make a case for a cause that Clawhauser knew the Bunny Officer wouldn't have championed had she been alive.
See her mark her territory
As we follow in her train
We were victims, we were quarry
Now we shake our manes
The words were almost praising, but the tone? The tone was deeply sarcastic. This wasn't just a protest song, not just a condemnation of Bellwether; this was a condemnation of everyone who followed her using language that they could understand. They were predators too. Clawhauser could already picture where this was going. Bellwether would turn on them as well snapping at every sort of threat.
She's the queen of beasts
And we're in her pride
We have hitched a ride
With the apex predator
The song was masterfully written, and that was the problem. It wasn't subtle at all. Gazelle would be dead by the end of the day! He had to save her. But he had no idea where to go!
And it's kinda fun
When she bares her claws
When we're safe because
We're with the apex predator
"Clawhauser!" Chief Bogo's voice echoed down the hall. "I need you at this location. Now."
The Chief passed Clawhauser a note with an address folded around a key. This wasn't how assignments were handed out. he had to ask.
"Is... this a request from city hall, sir?"
Did I think I'd be protected by the newfound status quo
Not a chance if she suspected
I was any kind of political foe
The chief looked horrified at the question. That he even had to ask. He shook his head, a frantic look in his eye. "No. No it's not. It's... There's someone who needs protection there, who is in danger. This is a personal request. From me. I.... I don't know who else I can trust for this."
Clawhauser was the only predator left on the force, her realized. Everyone else... especially the new hires pushed through by the mayor... There was no way that the force wasn't compromised. The only question left was.... was Chief Bogo compromised as well?
But she doesn't know yet
No, she doesn't know yet
Clawhauser made his decision. Chief Bogo supported him. He put him on the front desk not because he was a fierce predator, but because he was cheerful, friendly, and cuddly. Chief Bogo saw him for what he was, not for the stereotypes about Cheetahs. If he was compromised... Who could he trust?
She's the queen of beasts
In this beastly town
Gotta keep things down
With the apex predator
He rushed out the door. He wasn't fast. But he had a mission from the chief, and that meant he could take a car. The key for one was even included in the paper. If the chief had it, it could only be one car, his own personal vehicle, and that meant it would be parked in the Chief's reserved parking space.
Clawhauser found it in seconds, and seconds later he was inside, turning on the car, the radio blasting onto the same channel that the Chief had ordered months back to be kept playing in the station lobby.
So We're kinda friends
But We're kind of prey
Judy, what a day
With the apex predator
Gazelle was in trouble, and Clawhauser knew how the chief felt about her. He at least was legitimate in his intentions. There would be no turning back after this. They'd have to go on the run. Gazelle had lit a fire with her song. No one else had acted when there was no one else to rally around, but this? this was an anthem that could spark a movement. It wouldn't be smothered in its crib. Clawhauser would make sure of it.
Will she braid your hair
Will she eat your heart
How can you outsmart
The apex predator
He just had to survive to save her first.
The Song is Apex Predator from Mean Girls. It officially closed on Broadway a couple days ago. Mean Girls was absolutely fantastic, and I recommend it to anyone who can see it. And for those who can't the soundtrack is amazing too. Give it a listen.
Some nice feels from the Omake, and a rather chilling depiction of the worry and paranoia that happens when you live under a mad totalitarian. I hope to god we can somehow liberate Zootopia.
Some nice feels from the Omake, and a rather chilling depiction of the worry and paranoia that happens when you live under a mad totalitarian. I hope to god we can somehow liberate Zootopia.
Yeah. I figure that maybe this could be a Crit roll for the Zootopian resistance. If this gets Canonized then we should have some help, and maybe we'll learn in character about this injustice. I think the only thing stopping us as players is we have the veneer of not knowing about it. And therefore we haven't been interested in investigating or aiding Zootopia.
With that said, Zootopia is a weird part of the setting. In the course of a normal Disney Setting, Zootopia is an allegory about racial equality and discrimination which... didn't quite stick the landing.
In Gridlocked, the closest parts we have to Bellwether's Zootopia are Judge Doom's Toon Town mixed with DOR15's Bowler Dominion. It's a functioning (mostly) totalitarian state. Closer in tone to Beastars than it is to the source.
I want to free Zootopia too. It'll be hard if there's no resistance we can collaborate with, because the only other king I can see as interested in helping Zootopia is Shere Khan, and.... he can't really be trusted.
The Peter The Panda-Inator
For the next turn, everyone in the tri-state area has large bags around their eyes and a craving for Bamboo, like a Panda! This also grants a +5 Boost to Doof's Martial for the turn as the reminder of his spare nemesis ignites his fighting spirit!
The Little White Lie-inator
In an attempt to fix what went wrong with a prior attempt to overthrow the tri-state area with pure honestyy, Doof shoots himself with a "repaired" version of the Tell-The-Truth-Inator which forces anyone it is hit by to tell little white lies. You'd think that this would lead to an increase in diplomacy, but you'd be wrong. Since it turns out that people don't like being lied to all the time, Doof takes a -5 to his diplomacy for the rest of the turn.
The Giant Mallet-Inator!
Not really an inator per se so much as it is a giant mallet with a self destruct button, this mallet will be assigned to the next quest. The next critically failed martial check on the quest will be a Critical success instead! But it will result in the person rolling the check being wounded and inaccessible for one turn.
The Sandwich-inator
This portable sandwhich machine will cause Dennis, Marco, and Tobe to roll nothing but nat 1s for the turn, but in return, Jumba's Sandwich-related penalties for the turn are erased completely.
The Art-inator!
Having heard about the wild commercial success of Art created by elephants, Dr. Doofenshmirtz has created a rudimentary AI to produce nothing but modern art, increasing Income permanently by 1. This increase is a permanent bonus to yearly income.
The Boondoggle-inator
In attempt to destroy Judge Doom's company, we created the Boondoggle-inator! A test firing causes the next National action dealing with an infrastructure project (determined randomly if there is more than one at a time) to critically fail, regardless of what it would have normally rolled.
We really need to translate the signal from Drossel, we don't know if any of the other Kings have managed to establish contact with her but she's just to great of a potential ally to just ignore like we've been doing.
Whelp, there is our reason to investigate Zootopia, folks:
Someone there violated our copyright
I am only half joking, guys. I know that "acme" is just a normal word, but Doof is infamous for taking tangential connections and running with them for his mad schemes.
Whelp, there is our reason to investigate Zootopia, folks:
Someone there violated our copyright
I am only half joking, guys. I know that "acme" is just a normal word, but Doof is infamous for taking tangential connections and running with with for his mad schemes.
That was in fact my first reaction when I saw the show on Broadway and heard that lyric. It took me two full seconds to remember the word had other meanings.
We really need to translate the signal from Drossel, we don't know if any of the other Kings have managed to establish contact with her but she's just to great of a potential ally to just ignore like we've been doing.
Personal attention makes that like a 66% CoS by my probably wrong calcs.
Putting Ludivine on it with personal attention makes sense if my calcs are right, but let's consider putting her on personal actions like "Repair the Martian Robot" for things like loyalty and self-improvement before that.
Personal attention makes that like a 66% CoS by my probably wrong calcs.
Putting Ludivine on it with personal attention makes sense if my calcs are right, but let's consider putting her on personal actions like "Repair the Martian Robot" for things like loyalty and self-improvement before that.
Personal attention makes that like a 66% CoS by my probably wrong calcs.
Putting Ludivine on it with personal attention makes sense if my calcs are right, but let's consider putting her on personal actions like "Repair the Martian Robot" for things like loyalty and self-improvement before that.
I think Ludivine auto avoids any non nat1 crit fail on transmissions
38 + 40 + 4 = +82 on a DC 150 action
Crit fail threshold is less than or equal to 75 without XP
Edit: relatedly, Jumba does also automatically avoid it if we wanted to put him on it, but I assume we want him on genetics stuff for the foreseeable future
Honestly, I am a bit surprised that Bellwether hasn´t already moved against us.
After all, not only are we as a Human (and therefore omnivore who can "choose" whether or not to kill animals for food) possibly even lower to her than actual preds, legally speaking we count as an Ocelot which to her will make us a "willing collaborateur with filthy preds" (nevermind the circumstances that led to our weird legal status).
So yeah, to Bellwether Doof should be Enemy Nr. 2 right after Shere Khan and I half expect her to think about how to stab at us without reprisal.
Honestly, I am a bit surprised that Bellwether hasn´t already moved against us.
After all, not only are we as a Human (and therefore omnivore who can "choose" whether or not to kill animals for food) possibly even lower to her than actual preds, legally speaking we count as an Ocelot which to her will make us a "willing collaborateur with filthy preds" (nevermind the circumstances that led to our weird legal status).
So yeah, to Bellwether Doof should be Enemy Nr. 2 right after Shere Khan and I half expect her to think about how to stab at us without reprisal.
I'm not surprised. In the original DVV Gridlocked documentation Bellweather's Zootopia is depicted as a failed state with collapsing infrastructure and in general many problems beyond just their diet-based apartheid regime. That's not a state in any position to project power. If we leave it alone it will probably collapse on its own in a few years- albeit far more violently than we would like.
On another note, how DOES the magical masquerade explain stuff like toons and talking animals?
It doesn't really need to? Like, that's just accepted fact for these people. People just accept the existence of those things, like you or I accept the existence of planes. They exist, that's just how the world works.
I'm not surprised. In the original DVV Gridlocked documentation Bellweather's Zootopia is depicted as a failed state with collapsing infrastructure and in general many problems beyond just their diet-based apartheid regime. That's not a state in any position to project power. If we leave it alone it will probably collapse on its own in a few years- albeit far more violently than we would like.
On another note, how DOES the magical masquerade explain stuff like toons and talking animals?
In that case, who do you think would most like move into that power vacuum once Bellwether gets the boot?
Personally, I wouldn´t be surprised if the Zaibatsu moved in to capitalize on the huge amount of "new customers" in the forms of anthros now being rudderless.
Who knows? Maybe Mister Big will team up with the Zaibatsu on roughly equal footing - provided of course that he survives until then.
In that case, who do you think would most like move into that power vacuum once Bellwether gets the boot?
Personally, I wouldn´t be surprised if the Zaibatsu moved in to capitalize on the huge amount of "new customers" in the forms of anthros now being rudderless.
Who knows? Maybe Mister Big will team up with the Zaibatsu on roughly equal footing - provided of course that he survives until then.
Oh, damn. Right. Don't want the Zaibatsu and Yakuza's Ancapistan to expand. Well, WE'RE an Ancapistan too. But at least we have a proper evil ethos rather than being freewheeling thugs!
Oh, damn. Right. Don't want the Zaibatsu and Yakuza's Ancapistan to expand. Well, WE'RE an Ancapistan too. But at least we have a proper evil ethos rather than being freewheeling thugs!
We're in no way an Ancapistan. We left all the political machinery in place when we took over. It's just that everyone else in the tristate area stopped paying income tax and we're now paying theirs.
