Hate¦Commiseratation
"Third Child, First Child, report to Commander Ikari's office immediately."
Shinji glanced up at the speaker, as did Rei.
"What does
he want?" hissed Shinji. He and Rei
had been enjoying a perfectly nice lunch with Asuka after a long training session. Apparently his father felt the need to shit all over that. 'The Bitch' had kept Kaworu back to follow up on some odd readings. Sighing, he set down his bento and stood up. "Hopefully this won't take long. Guess we'll see you later."
"No," said Asuka, firmly. "I'm coming with you. Anything he can say to you he can say to me too."
"He… might not take that well."
"And? Fuck him," replied Asuka, "Now let's get going and get this over with."
And so, the three arrived at the office of their theoretical superior. Rather surprisingly, the door was already open.
"Come in," came the commander's voice, as the trio approached. They filed in to a truly bizarre sight. Commander Ikari was in front of his desk, leaning against it. The room was fully lit up, something indiscernible was scattered across the desk. Behind them, the door closed – and locked. Gendo Ikari looked up at them, through his amber glasses, and surveyed them each in turn.
After a silence that seemed to stretch on for millennia, he spoke.
"I have… had something of a revelation. I… Shinji, I've betrayed you. I've betrayed you, Yui and everything I should have ever held dear."
His head fell into his hands, deep breaths sounding from him. The three gaped at him in complete shock as the commander fought to remain in control. He succeeded, barely, raising his head to continue.
"I have failed you. Completely and utterly," he turned to Rei, "And
you as well. I… I'm so sorry, Rei. I can make no excuses. I do not expect you to forgive me – either of you. Just know, from here on out, I will be doing everything in my power to ensure you both have a future worth fighting for."
He'd marched across the office as he was speaking and now stood before them. Without waiting for them to even process what he had just told them, Gendo pulled both Shinji and Rei into a bone-crushing hug.
It was short-lived.
With something between a cry and a roar, Shinji pulled himself out of his father's grip. Angry tears beginning to fall down his face, eyes wide with hurt and anger. On the verge of hyperventilation, face contorted almost beyond recognition, the boy began backing away from Gendo.
"FUCK YOU!" he screeched, "AFTER EVERYTHING YOU DID, YOU THINK YOU HAVE ANY RIGHT TO JUST HUG ME LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED! H-HOW DARE YOU! YOU DISGUST ME IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE, YOU DECREPIT, VILE, PATHETIC PIECE OF SHIT!"
Gendo released Rei, who hadn't reacted at all, and moved towards his son.
"Shinji-"
"SHUT UP! I HATE YOU! Just… just stay away from me!"
Before Gendo could reply, Shinji turned and fled.
Without hesitation, Asuka turned and raced after him, shooting a look of pure malice over her shoulder at Gendo as she went.
Gendo bowed his head, despondently. As he had feared, Shinji was now forever out of his reach. But what about Rei. He turned to her.
Rei was stood rigid. Staring ahead, eyes glazed over and glistening. Her hands balled into fists, then spread open, before closing again. Mouth ajar, she let out a few, disjointed, croaky sounds. Her mind was a complete whirlwind, a mess of confusion, conflict, anger, joy. She didn't know what to do. What should she do? She was shattered. Completely and utterly. She was broken from her reverie by his interruption.
"Rei?"
She turned, on the spot, to look at him. A tear rolled down her cheek. The first of many yet to come. She finally spoke.
"Why does it hurt so much? ... So
much?... Why... does it hurt...
so much?"
Gendo made to hug her again, only for her to flinch and step backwards. He stopped short and stared into her eyes. It clicked in his head. She was off her meds. She hadn't been taking them for a while now.
Trembling, Rei took a few more hesitant steps back, before breaking into a run and fleeing the office.
Forlorn, Gendo fell to his knees.
'They didn't even let me tell them about Yui…'
Gendo stayed, kneeling on his own office floor for a while. When he was ready, he mustered his full composure and stood. He had a dodecatuple murder to plan.
Asuka found Shinji by the lake.
He was sitting, cross-legged, gazing out at the shimmering waters. She came up behind him, knelt down and slid her arms around him. She didn't know what to say. She wasn't sure there was anything she could say. They just stayed like that for some time.
"Asuka! I… I don't know what to do," Shinji finally said, his voice quavering.
"Oh, Shinji," Asuka's voice was little more than a croak.
"Help me!"
She nuzzled his neck in reply.
"I will, Shinji. I will. Let's get you home."
She guided him up and led him away. Digging out her phone as they went, Asuka quickly messaged Hikari and Kaworu about Rei – hopefully one of them would find her. She did
not like the thought of leaving Rei alone with the prize twat. As she brought Shinji towards the Geofront trams, she never one let go of him, with her mouth almost permanently by his ear. She kept up a stream of encouragement and sweet nothings as they boarded the tram.
"It'll be okay, Shinji."
"I'm here Shinji."
"I love you."
"I need you, Asuka."
Asuka never knew how long it took her to slowly coax him back to their apartment, just that she was glad to finally shut the door to their room and pull him into bed with her. She held him as he finally let all his walls down and just cried, cried into her. He clutched her desperately and poured out all his anguish and conflict. She clutched him back just as hard, rocking back and forth every now and then.
As he finally returned to lucidity, he gazed into Asuka's eyes and kissed her. It wasn't long, or particularly involved, but it was enough.
"Th-thanks," he said, when they broke apart. "I… don't know what to do. I thought that I could just write him off as a lost cause. But now… I just don't know."
Asuka took a deep breath as she thought about exactly what she wanted to say. Piecing together her thoughts, she began.
"Shinji. It's okay to want to open yourself up to him…
but. It's going to be on him. If he wants you back, he's got to
earn you back. You owe him
nothing! You hear me, my dearest baka!"
"I… guess-"
"You guess
nothing! He does not deserve you and you don't have to feel even slightly bad about telling him where to stick it!"
Shinji smiled warmly at her flustered face. He kissed her on the nose.
"I love you. What the fuck would I do without you?"
"I don't know… but, I don't think we should dwell on that."
She leaned in to capture his lips once more.
Asuka and Shinji stepped out onto the balcony to watch the sun set. It was a beautiful sight to wach.
"I hope Rei's okay…" mused Shinji, feeling slightly guilty over leaving her in the office. Asuka nudged his elbow, put her finger to her lips and pointed to the wall of next balcony over. Straining his ears, Shinji was able to make out the sound of subdued giggling – and the occasional contented sigh – of two people.
"I think she'll be just fine." Asuka whispered in reply.
